Star Whores: Diverse Agenda

[Guest]

Terrible trilogy about an all-girl singing group. It spawned that awful Cups song and made a star out of that fat blonde Australian chick.

[Charlar]

She's probably sad that Pitch Perfect is ending.

Is it bad that I don't know what that is?

No it's good you don't know

[Guest #2]

we can agree that the prequels are awful, but here's the thing, the new ones shouldn't be worst and all these damn losers try any to forgive how bad this new series is

[Guest]

we can agree that the prequels are awful, but here's the thing, the new ones shouldn't be worst and all these damn losers try anything to forgive how bad this new series is

[da PAC Nigguh]

How is "a FUCKING SPACE DINER" worse than the Space Monte Carlo scene or the protagonists getting captured because they illegally parked a shuttle on a fucking beach?

[Guest #2]

How is "a FUCKING SPACE DINER" worse than the Space Monte Carlo scene or the protagonists getting captured because they illegally parked a shuttle on a fucking beach?

read the rest of the guy's tweets, it gets "better"

[Guest]

read the rest of the guy's tweets, it gets "better"

Christ, that's some Movieblob deflection their. I mean, don't get me wrong, the prequels are bad, but I don't hate them as a lot of people do and actually have some enjoyment in them. The projection is strong in that fag.

[Kugelfisch]

I remember that. People talk about how Rey was a Mary Sue like this was a new thing when the Phantom Menace literally had Anakin as a boy genius who was the chosen one and used the midochlorian thing to explain how he was inherently better than any other jedi ever. And he even foils the invasion single-handedly and by accident.

And that's okay in itself. You can tell a story about an exceptional person, even a chosen one that greatly surpasses others, and have it still be entertaining. That's basic bitch story telling and has worked for as long as people told stories. Why wouldn't the supreme person the focus of an adventure story?
But you need to build that hero first. You either show how he came to become what he is, how he deals with it or his downfall.

Dune does all that and much more. Reading the first book, do you ever really doubt that Paul Astreides is the Kwisatz Haderach? He's clearly surpassing every other character in all regards. He's a better fighter, a better thinker and can see the future. How do you make that shit entertaining? By making him have a struggle. He knows the future but doesn't want that future. He doubts himself and his abilities. He can't be sure of any supposed allies, has everyone either wanting to stop or use him. Nobody actually understands him and his powers aren't perfect either.

SpoilerShow

The more you get into it, the less and less you can claim him to be a Gary Stue. He's the chosen one and he's superior but the qualifiers the asterisks keep piling on. He's the chosen one BUT this and that and this and it only gets worse for him.
Do you truly think he'll die somewhere in the middle of the story? Never. That would be silly since by that point he's really the sole focus of the story. It's clearly his story.
But you're not sure if he'll achieve the goal that he actually wants to achieve. Even if you don't think of him in danger, what's with everyone and everything else? That's all left open. What will happen is not known, not even to himself despite being able to see the future because he doesn't see every minute detail and doesn't want the outcome his vision tells him anyway and tries to work against it.
In the next book it gets even worse. Claiming him a Gary Stue would be ridiculous.
Lucas has read Dune and I'd argue he wanted Anakin Skywalker to have an arc like that. The similarities are obvious. Star Wars is a lot more pedestrian and the conclusion to Vader is already known but still. Both are chosen ones with ambiguous effects (bringing balance to the force/being the one who is many places at the same time), the group that expected and were supposed to profit from his abilities see him as dangerous (Jedi counsel/Bene Gesserit), both are taught their abilities in combat and values despite those stated dangers by a member of that group (Obi Wan Kenobi/Jessica Astreides). I'll go on in another spoiler.

SpoilerShow

Massive spoilers for Dune and Dune Messiah and Children of Dune!

The similarities go further. Both fail their goals (saving Padme/preventing the Jihad) both become masters in their power (the force/precience) but at a high cost (falling to the dark side as a slave/being locked into his vision) both are reduced to former shells of their selves (Darth Vader/The Preacher) both have only left one option for redemption in helping their sons fulfil their own purpose (Luke toppling the empire/Leto's Golden Path) both die doing so to enable the corrupted leader of the evil empire to be slain. Both also had unapproved relationships with a female, both get a son, both sons end up righting the wrongs of their fathers and delivering the salvation their fathers were supposed to bring.
It's fucking mind-blowing how many similarities are between the two characters if you boil them down to those beats.

The only point I'm not so sure about is the part of being the chosen one.
What does bringing balance to the force even mean? The Jedi were dominant with Sith being basically unheard of at that point. Wouldn't balance be terrible in that regard? Was the chosen one for the Jedi actually supposed to be bad? I fail to see how bringing balance between good and evil is a good thing when, by definition, good dominating is clearly the better option. Light side and dark side is unambiguous in the movies. Light is good, dark is evil, both very clearly so.
Either way, Anakin fails in that. He brings the fall to the Jedi almost to the point of complete extermination of them.

Paul being the Kwisatz Haderach is really just an assumption by everyone up to two thirds into Children of Dune. Nobody actually fucking knows what a Kwisatz Haderach is supposed to do. The Bene Gesserit bread for one but never got one. The Tleilaxu supposedly created one but he killed himself. It's not known if that one was genuine or what made him do it.
"The one who can be many places at once" is about as ambiguous as "bringing balance to the force". Both are bullshit terminology vague in place of just saying "fucked if I know".
It can be argued if Paul even ever was a Kwisatz Haderach. A male Bene Gesserit he was for sure. But since he refused to fulfil his "terrible purpose", didn't he really skip the essential part of becoming the Kwisatz Haderach? He even lost his vision, only regaining it later by overdosing heavily on spice and even then he didn't manage the assumed function. He didn't gain control like Leto II did.

Anakin was supposed to be a story about a chosen one that fell to the dark side and eventually would redeem himself. Every part of his story is very classic story telling. Star Wars just did it very fucking badly.

And Anakin was explained to be Jesus.

Prophecy vaguely expected some Jesus or something. The Jedi very much doubted him to be that chosen one and the prophecy was vague to begin with. Don't forget that he fucking fails. He didn't die to bring salvation, he merely redeemed himself for shit he messed up in the first place and we knew that before the prequels already.

Rey has no struggle. She's just the best and that's it. She won't even actually fall to the dark side because that would've been too interesting of a character development. Leaving poetry rhyming aside, you could make it different by her choosing the dark side voluntarily. Maybe out of boredom, maybe out of lust for power. Anakin was just a dipshit that was manipulated into taking a bargain he didn't know the cost for. His main motive was selfless (well, kinda) and he clearly didn't make that choice with a clear mind.

Kylo Ren is such a whiny emo dipshit that I can't take seriously

So exactly like Anakin.

Doesn't really matter anyway because both characters were utter shit in the end and Star Wars has been nothing but hot garbage for three decades now.

phpBB [video]

I've seen the movie and my opinions are too long winded for me to type right now (The hate is overblown, but it has clear problems). For now enjoy this movie having better meme potential than The Farce Awakens, making it infinitely better by default.

Holy fucking shit that's MUCH worse than I imagined it from what people said.



PS: I may have gone too far in a few places. But this post is stylisticly designed to be this way. I can only try to diminish the effects of it with spoilers.

[Guest #2]

One of the best reviews of this shitty movie

[Charlar]

I think the bringing balanced to the force is that either the force was unbalanced by either the Light being in dominance for so long or that the jedi were corrupt so they need to face hardship to become pure again.

Or if you go the Old EU route the Sith kept damaging the force through usage of the dark side like when Anakin was created by Darth Plagueis which was a horrific abuse of the force

Edit: I just remembered i think i read somewhere (The first Dune book?) that the Kwisatz Haderach was supposed to be a generation after Paul