Star Whores: Diverse Agenda

[rabidtictac]

I'm not sure what you watched. They were pretty rough on the film.

Seriously, Mike flat out said it was "pretty bad."

Pretty bad isnt even coming close to what a disaster it is. It killed the biggest franchise in history probably XD
And all you need to do is compare this to what they said about TFA. TFA was bad yeah but this one is even worse and DESTROYS even more what the fans loved. If you rage on TFA you must doublerage for the last jedi, anything else doesnt make any sense.

The movie apparently goes out of its way to ruin everything fans might be happy about seeing again.

Like Luke? He's a grumpy old man now and he sacrifices himself to the farce so he can troll kylo emo forever.
Like Han? Lel jk.
Like Chewie? Say hi to porgs and all the other animals only in the movie to sell shit.
Like Leia? SUPERLEIA TO THE RESCUE and then she goes into a coma or some shit for the rest of the movie.
Most of the cast die.
Snoke dies with no explanation of who he is.
Rey's parents are nobody.
Finn has a dumb bitch girlfriend who preaches to him about the heart of the cards.
Admiral Tumblr is now leading this rebel shit.
Yoda tells Luke to shut the fuck up and listen to stronk powerful wombyn, because a girl with no jedi training is running the jedi now.

A lot of those things I mentioned were set up in force awakens, and now the payoff is *fucking nothing* for the majority of them.

[rabidtictac]

Luke being a hologram was the most pointless meme twist ever. It changed nothing about the story since he just died anyway, but it sucked all the tension out of the room for the sake of "nothin personnel kid."

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

One wonders why they don't make names that are easier for Asians to pronounce.

Rey, Kylo, Snoke, Rs and Ks have never been friends to the Asian tongue.

Depends on which Asians you mean. Glorious Nippon has no problem with "Rey" and shit (which at least for them is literally spelled like "Rei", an actual Nihon name). They don't have issues Ks, and they only have issues with Rs because they don't care.

(Also "Sunoku" sounds like a major improvement to that wet fart of a Sith name.)

Dunno if the Chinese have more issues, but they already have a crapton of weird sh, ch and j sounds that they should be able to pick up any nuances.

[Rapeculture]

I'm just glad I didn't pay to see it. It's not my Star Wars anyways, it's the millenial Star Wars where the war is one that is waged against capitalist white men, with all the virtue-signaling and fominosm in the galaxy.

[Auli]

[Pope Corky III]

Wait, he actually said "nothing personal kid?" I could have sworn he said "see ya around kid."

[Auli]

I don't even remember lol

Edit: https://www.forbes.com/sites/insertcoin ... 0a2cda32f7

The final Solo nod is Luke’s “See you around, kid,” which is a Han line that Mark Hamill even says in his “Harrison Ford voice” which we’ve heard in interviews before.

Who did he say it to? Did I fall asleep? Also those dice lol. "Here, Leia! Here's a memento on your lover, father of your son; dice that hung in the Falcon. Too bad they'll disappear when I kill myself!"

[Liar Revealed]

I really feel that Abrams screwed the pooch with Ep 7 with his LOST style (non)world building. He set stuff up that didn't make any sense. He had no idea how they worked or how to resolve them, Why was there a Republic, a Resistance, AND and a First Order?
I always think about this Robot Chicken sketch:

And it's true. They didn't need to do anything complicated to return to the Empire vs Rebels storylines. Just decanonize the EU and say that the Empire never ended.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

ACTUAL LEE, the EU had the New Republic spent years vibing out Empire remnants. I mean, there's like an entire Galaxy left with admirals, generals and their Star Destroyers. All of the Jedi Knight games (minus Dark Forces) are set in that period.

(Though ignoring the EU for the most part is still a wise choice, what with stupid Empire super weapons, PalpyClones and the fact this whole "Evil Empire vs Rebels 'n' Shit" has repeated itself for thousands of years, because apparently there's no other kind of story you can tell there.)

Still, it is pretty fascinating how Jar-Jar took an already established setting and made the introduction way more confusing than the very first movie in the franchise, which told you all the basic shit you needed to know to understand wtf was going on in the opening crawl.

[Poonoo]

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I've seen the movie and my opinions are too long winded for me to type right now (The hate is overblown, but it has clear problems). For now enjoy this movie having better meme potential than The Farce Awakens, making it infinitely better by default.