Star Whores: Diverse Agenda

[Guest]

I just caught the momma joke in TLJ. My jaw dropped. Middle-aged hipster humor is reprehensible. It's all through Baby Spider: Homecumming too. Pure snark, usually involving making fun of someone or something in the scene to show how cool you are. Whedon-esque, some might say.

It's the delivery too, like that out of character Batman/Aquaman bit in Justice League where he looks away like he's addressing an audience and says “That's not the saying, that's like the opposite of what the saying is.” Unless he's undercover as a useless TGWTG faggot, Batman would never say anything remotely like that.

[Guest]

Mark Hammil outed as Never Trumpet Marxist Fake American. Luke is gay makes sense now.

[CuckTurdginson]

You know, if I have fun, alls well that ends well, but this still doesn't look very good.

Fun fact: that big gangster featured as the villain in the trailer was initially supposed to be played by Michael K. Williams (Omar on The Wire), but he got recast during the reshoots. If I were to take a solid stab at why, I'd say it was because Disney didn't want to show a black man as the big bad gangster and primary villain, even tho that's literally the only type of role I've seen Williams succeed with.

[Keith Chegwin]

>have actor who looks like young Harrison Ford
>actually played young Harrison Ford in movie
>don't cast him
>cast some other actor who neither looks nor acts like Harrison Ford
>movie is disaster

[Rapeculture]

>have actor who looks like young Harrison Ford
>actually played young Harrison Ford in movie
>don't cast him
>cast some other actor who neither looks nor acts like Harrison Ford
>movie is disaster

The motherfucker playing young Han needed a dialogue coach or something too, ffs.

[Guest]

You know, if I have fun, alls well that ends well,

GTFO brainlet. Watching movies for >fun, what a crock of shit. You know it's gonna be bad.

[CuckTurdginson]

Donald Glover just sounds like Donald Glover in that trailer, not doing anything new with his voice or body language.

[Keith Chegwin]

I'm just getting Last Crusade flashbacks. It's going to be one of those films that has contrived over-explanations of things, robbing Han Solo of any mystique or intrigue that he previously had, in addition to being poorly cast.
What in God's name made them think they should do another fucking prequel?

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Oh yeah, I can guarantee this will end with Han and Chewie being in the exact same situation than they were in at the start of A New Hope, just a few years younger and without the massive Jabba debt. They might even go so far as to explain where every gadget inside the Falcon (the board game, that blast helmet) came from.

And why? They should've really known better, but their greed to milk the franchise for all its worth was too strong.

[Guest]

Oh yeah, I can guarantee this will end with Han and Chewie being in the exact same situation than they were in at the start of A New Hope, just a few years younger and without the massive Jabba debt. They might even go so far as to explain where every gadget inside the Falcon (the board game, that blast helmet) came from.

And why? They should've really known better, but their greed to milk the franchise for all its worth was too strong.

Recent news says Solo is first of a trilogy. Unless the sequels take place after ANH, the final movie will end with them landing on Tatooine talking about hot it is and winking at the camera.