DSP Thread: Bugged Forum mechanics

[Angelfire Memes]

"It doesn't affect me, because I got the chair! Haha! That's why I didn't do a lick of promotion until I got the chair!" - actual quote from Phil on stream earlier. Phil Burnell, every sponsor's dream.

[Kama]

I kinda missed you guys in a no homo kinda way.

In any case I think it's funny he's so unwilling to say he got scammed that he'll make up anything to try and prove he's not a complete imbecile. Classic Phil.

Oh, I will DEFINITELY avoid the after years. That shit is fucking top cancer. It's fanfiction that someone decided should be stapled to the actual game. I saw a screenshot lp of that shit years ago and it was beyond terrible.

The PSP version of FFIV is just the gba version with better graphics and some gay-ass CGI. It's perfectly fine aside from The After Years sucking so much.

Really? I didn't think it was that bad.

[rabidtictac]

DSP is breaking new records:

Yeah, I saw the head guy from these ScamSeats got doxed. TBH he deserved it because he had, like, 5 shitty looking companies under his "banner" and the dude looked around age 21. If that. He was one of these "internet wealth-building entrepreneur" scamfucks who has a ton of shit on his fake and gay resume to make himself look way more important than he is. No joke, his youtube account was listed in there with all his shitty fake businesses.

BTW it's impossible to dox a legitimate business owner, in a sense. I mean, their info SHOULD be a matter of public record. Linking it to an internet shitposting account would be one thing (like if I doxed kugel, I would be linking kugel the business owner to kugel the DHI shitposter), but this guy approached DSP as the business. So people finding his personal information through his business should have been as easy as clicking an "about our company" link. There should have been nothing to dox. Which tells me he was hiding his identity because this chair shit was one of several scams he runs.

But I don't know. I'm just guessing. The fact he deleted everything once a name was put to the company tells me he wanted to run shit from the shadows, which is not reputable at all.

But DSP never cared. He just wanted a free chair. He was butthurt about opseats because he felt he "deserved" a free chair.

LEL

This is what happens when you run a "business" based around paypigs. All these gifted subs are wearing off and the paypiggies will have to gift a shitload more. DSP doesn't even have 550 actual stream viewers who like him enough to sub. He only gets those numbers thanks to the shitty gifting subs feature.

Oh and "no big titles." There were tons of hype games you already ragequit.

[Guest]

To sum up the DSP saga now...

DSP: "Chairs for You, Chairs for everyone... Fuck Goku and fuck this game!"
DHI: "Watch and let Phil fuck himself over."
Neger: "I'm not obsessed. It's just a hobby to start a thread about every part of Phil's life, You know I'm right."
Null: "dOn'T jUdGe Me, I'lL hIt YoU wItH mY e-PeNiS, iT's NoT sMaLl... P.s. NeCk UrSeLf."
Dynastia: "Must Dox every fan of DSP."
foxdickfarms: Our opinions are our own, we totally mean that so fuck off."
Fayt: "Phil's misery cures my depression and bloodlust."
Leanna: "I like Black Co-Coffee."
Rambo: "I'm irrelevant!"
Howard: "I exist!"
Derpykiller: "No Mom! Watching DSP streams 24/7 is far more important than Gramma's funeral!"
TxT: "I don't care about DSP or the SOK... or maybe I do."
Detractors: "Must...contact...every...sponsor."
The Falcon: "I'm a living autistic anime."
King of Pol: "If I could just shut up, people probably wouldn't try to slaughter my family!"
BSV: "Let me stare into your soul and fuck you up... physically, emotional, spiritually, and sexually."
New Maid: "I clean now..."
KG: "Yay! I'm not the biggest autist in this fanbase anymore, Senpai!"
Brenda: "I needs some money, and some more cats..."
Patrick: "I'm a legit person, no need to be suspicious..."
Fred: "Tacos and Doors, Tacos and Doors, TACOS AND DOORS,TACOS AND D-"
Kim: "Who the fuck are y'all?"

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Wonderful, isn't it?!

Really? I didn't think it was that bad.

Square-Enix destroyed your good taste.

[Angelfire Memes]

>Former pro gamer
>Has done nothing but play games for a living for nearly a decade
>Doesn't know the name of one of the biggest releases coming out this month

I dunno, man. I'm still on the fence about Kingdom Come Deliverance because these crowdfunded games usually end up either being really good or complete trash. But I just don't know how someone like DSP who's job it is to play games doesn't know about it, and doesn't consider anything that isn't a normiest of normie, casual release like COD a "big game". You would think someone like that would have some tastes that aren't pure scrub tier.

[rpgworm]

Yeah, this whole chair dox thing looks shady as fuck, if it was clean, the guy behind it wouldn't have freaked out just because they got his name and number and started deleting everything after that.

Also, calling it now, the whole subs as a goal to make his "events" is going to die out very soon. Maybe a month or 2, because soon enough it's going to get embarrasing to him to see he can't pull more people, and one of the most impressive things about phil is, that even after year of being humiliated and making stupid remarks, he still has an overwhelming ego.

He won't be able to get people to reach his stream goals and Phil will go back to patreon whoring, because there, when he doesn't meet his goal, he can fake it and donate himself, or get one of his pigs to do it.

[Some Sick Fuck]

I have a conspiracy theory that the "company" Phil was supposed to promote went "out of teh byznys" because they sold their whole stock (all 2 chairs) to Phil's fans and they can't get more.

There is zero fucking reason why they should be running out of business because of a dox. It's either nonsense Phil made up, or the guy lied to him. It's not like it matters, who cares about the schmuck behind the company, but it's of course hillarious towards Phil.

>Doesn't know the name of one of the biggest releases coming out this month

The way I understood it, he calls the list "kingdoms of wreckoning", not the game. EDIT: I stand corrected, apparently Phil really is that retarded. His viewers will be lucky if he can figure out how to start the game.

As for kickstarter, this is not a kickstarter game. It's development costs are far higher than what they raised, it's privately funded. Unless you've invested money in the game yourself, there is no need to be hysterical - I've played plenty of kickstarter games, some even failed to raise money, and they turned out to be great. I didn't know about most of them even having kickstarters, I just found out later.

The point is, unless you've given them money, you can simply wait, or do some research and see for yourself if it's something that interests you. Feel free to ask more about the game, since it's being made in Czech republic, I know a lot about it, naturally.

However, I don't understand why Phil wants to play it. The game is rather hardcore in everything, not just the swordplay, you can't just fuck around in it like you could with Skyrim, you need some patience and common sense, it's basically the opposite of what Phil should be playing. He has an attention span of three years old and wits of a boiled egg. Delusions aside, Phil's capabilities are of Angry Joe's. They even look similar, two talentless, ungrateful bloated fucks that can't play video games for shit.

I'm guessing he'll end up being hand-holded by chat the whole time, because he's going to be completely lost.

[Angelfire Memes]

>Doesn't know the name of one of the biggest releases coming out this month

The way I understood it, he calls the list "kingdoms of wreckoning", not the game.

As for kickstarter, this is not a kickstarter game. It's development costs are far higher than what they raised, it's privately funded. Unless you've invested money in the game yourself, there is no need to be hysterical - I've played plenty of kickstarter games, some even failed to raise money, and they turned out to be great. I didn't know about most of them even having kickstarters, I just found out later.

The point is, unless you've given them money, you can simply wait, or do some research and see for yourself if it's something that interests you. Feel free to ask more about the game, since it's being made in Czech republic, I know a lot about it, naturally.

However, I don't understand why Phil wants to play it. The game is rather hardcore in everything, not just the swordplay, you can't just fuck around in it like you could with Skyrim, you need some patience and common sense, it's basically the opposite of what Phil should be playing. He has an attention span of three years old and wits of a boiled egg. Delusions aside, Phil's capabilities are of Angry Joe's. They even look similar, two talentless, ungrateful bloated fucks that can't play video games for shit.

I'm guessing he'll end up being hand-holded by chat the whole time, because he's going to be completely lost.

In a reply to that Tweet thread the guy clarifies that Phil actually put the poll option up as Kingdom of Wreckoning so he genuinely thought that's what the game was called. I initially read it similarly to you but didn't add that clarification in my post because I'm lazy.

The game looks pretty interesting but I'll wait and see how the launch is. I know they raised $2m through crowdfunding but didn't know they'd had private investment too, that at least gives me hope they'll do justice to all the ambitious stuff in the game.

I agree it is everything Phil will hate though. Actual storytelling, missions where you have to be patient and observant to progress without handholding, a bunch of depth to the combat besides button mashing. Plus the whole eating and sleeping system I can see really fucking Phil over, which is amusing because they're the only things in life he seems to be good at. I can see him holding a turkey leg or whatever in his inventory for like a month, eating it and getting sick and dying. "Cammahn dood how was I supposed to know eating a mouldy turkey leg would make you sick! Beginner's trap! Yes, great game! Yes... *sarcastic applause*"

[Some Sick Fuck]

I am cautiously optimistic - I've backed the game, because I know a lot about the main dev guy (Vávra) and basically the whole brain behind the operation, and I have faith in him, not mentioning all the previews, dev logs and other things. This is no shady production.

Worst case scenario I can imagine is the game being pretty buggy at release, like Witcher games were (every single one of them had issues at release), the combat not working that well and visuals and sounds not being too impressive - there are some issues with character faces outside of main cutscenes, and I still hate how quiet the swords are when they hit something, it sounds more like getting hit by a folded newspaper.

Plus the whole eating and sleeping system I can see really fucking Phil over, which is amusing because they're the only things in life he seems to be good at.

Dood, how the fuck was I supposed to know that you need to eat and sleep? That's booollshiiiit! I doubt moldy food will be his first death by basic game systems, he'll starve first (and of course he's gonna get chopped into pieces 100 times before that happens).