Star Whores: Diverse Agenda

[Guest]

I really hope Episode 9 starts exactly where 8 left off. Gotta keep that weird-ass trend going.

[MegaNigger]

Rey can age 3 years in 3 days and accumulate all the Jedi knowledge by proxi in even less time! Stunning. And Brave.

[Tony Schiavone]

It's ok, River Phoenix is dead so all is forgiven.

Small consolation, as it's not because of River Phoenix that I hated it. The entire sequence just added absolutely nothing to the movie, whilst taking away from Indiana Jones by adding these dumb, overly contrived origins for things that didn't need an origin. Maybe he just likes fedoras. Maybe he just hates snakes. Maybe he just thinks a whip is a useful weapon when you're traversing mostly jungles and deserts

How George Lucas has had a career absolutely baffles me.

Guess I'm the opposite in absolutely liking it. But for reasons that have to do with "good George" (pre-1995) and better storytelling.
So I'll sperge:

SpoilerShow

He gets the scar in the opening, true. But the rest is just a kid doing what he thinks is right, barely escaping...and still losing out. Just getting back that part of it later in life.

They don't spell out, like they do in prequels nowadays, that everything he does is why he has it later in life. He gets scared of a snake because a scary cobra lands in front of him, reacting like most normal people, but he still gets away. (Snakes have always been an dreaded annoyance to Dr. Jones more than a crippling fear).
He grabs a whip in the circus car because there's a fucking lion in front of him, and he's using anything he can to keep it back. On top of that, he hurts himself ... and doesn't keep it as a frigging momento or anything. (He throws it down and keeps running.) Later it's not like his whip is the only or even primary weapon. He mainly uses it in fights only when his gun runs out of bullets (e.g. second movie), and even then, usually he punches people. The whip is usually just a tool.

I thought the fedora scene was actually pretty cool. He wears it not because he liked the robber, but because it reminds him that when the odds are stacked against him, he still has a small chance to beat the odds even for a small victory. Even though the robber gets the cross back, he still manages to earn Indys respect with his grit and determination--thats why he gets the hat and pans over to how he thinks on the ship in the present. I love the quote from that scene and still use it today: "You lost, kid. But that doesn't mean you have to like it!"

It was for fans, but subverts them by showing him using them screwing up with them and succeeding only accidentally...we only know they're famous later. It's not like Rei Sue where he's just be amazing picking it up.
That said, he does have enough pluck and wits where the audience isn't immediately inclined to hate him (like Mutt). Also, nothing in the opening shows he was destined to be anything more in the future than a goid boy scout.

If it was nowadays we wouldn't earn the hat--it would show up in a box somewhere where he's put it on for a dumb reason (like it'd be raining or something). Also the whip would've magically killed the first person he touched with it, and he's be standing there in awe going, "Woah!..." and the aydience would be expected to be impressed too. Lastly, hed have gotten the scar when the snake hit him with his tail, in a 'comedy' effect because no animals of any kind would be harmed nowadays.

Be glad in 1989 they still knew how to direct good action movies.

[Rushy]

I really hope Episode 9 starts exactly where 8 left off. Gotta keep that weird-ass trend going.

Because TV > Movies these days, I guess. Maybe they'll start with a Previously On montage

[Guest]

TV stinks too.

[da PAC Nigguh]

TV stinks too.

Everything sucks.

[Keith Chegwin]

Weird, I thought Spielberg directed it. Luca$$$$!!!!1!1!!

The prologue was Lucas' idea. Spielberg even resisted it, because he'd done Empire of the Sun, which had a young boy protagonist and it didn't do too well.

Guess I'm the opposite in absolutely liking it. But for reasons that have to do with "good George" (pre-1995) and better storytelling.

Well, you're certainly entitled to your opinion.

In my opinion it didn't add anything to the movie (Did anybody really ask or care why Indy wears fedoras? Especially since it was set in the '30s, where fedoras were common?). You could cut out the entire prologue and it wouldn't hurt the movie at all. It doesn't even really lay the foundation for what is the key theme of that movie, which is the father-son relationship between the two Joneses.

[Gunner445]

Watch Phasma show up in 9, maybe in a fightercraft in a space battle for 5 minutes and gets blown up and the fans bawww
about how she's still alive somehow.

[Guest]

In my opinion it didn't add anything to the movie (Did anybody really ask or care why Indy wears fedoras? Especially since it was set in the '30s, where fedoras were common?). You could cut out the entire prologue and it wouldn't hurt the movie at all. It doesn't even really lay the foundation for what is the key theme of that movie, which is the father-son relationship between the two Joneses.

Actually the very end of it kinda does. The part where he rushes in to tell his dad about the crazy chase he was just in and Sean Connery can't even be bothered to look up from his work. It sets up the idea that even though his dad was a big influence on him with archaeology, they've always been emotionally distant. The movie isn't about a father and son reconnecting. It's about them connecting when they NEVER HAVE before.

Personally I think the intro is pretty fun, if kinda dumb. The Indiana Jones movies are based on pulp action shows anyway, so it's okay if they're a bit unrealistic. It's fun, simple, pulp fun. (not the previous guest, BTW)

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, on the other hand, had an overcomplicated plot that wasn't just DUMB but DULL. The movie is loaded with lame exposition and a lot of the time Indy is reduced to an extra in his own movie because Harrison Ford was getting too old for this shit.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

In my opinion it didn't add anything to the movie (Did anybody really ask or care why Indy wears fedoras? Especially since it was set in the '30s, where fedoras were common?).

I think Georgie used the same "logic" to turn Kenobi's desert garb into the standard Jedi outfit.

Watch Phasma show up in 9, maybe in a fightercraft in a space battle for 5 minutes and gets blown up and the fans bawww
about how she's still alive somehow.

She's basically like those Team Rocket clones from Final Fantasy X-2, except even they had actually some connection with the plot.

(Also I bet she will get worfed by Rose, which will finally cause her to die of pure shame.)