The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sat Jun 07, 2025 6:33 pm

Book 4, Chapter 4 - That's What Girls Do
(Or: Zombie Rights)



Our dear reader has already given us plenty of quality girl-on-girl interactions - but this time we're back to a modern setting, so we can hope for some excellent and authentic high school girl hijinks!

And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.
RecapShow
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Everyone's still waiting for an actual main plot to happen, so we have to enjoy a bunch of morons spouting dumb shit at each other.

Linkara has a reunion with his school buddies. Oh, and Indow is also there, but she might as well not because she doesn't really interact with anyone. For some reason this book seems to really love shoving extraneous characters into scenes where they are nothing but passive observers.
You probably can't become a BFF of Linkara's without being an insufferable nerdlinger in need of an atomic wedgie like himself, and they certainly do not disappoint in that regard. And just to make them extra quirky, each and every one of them has some super talent and/or hobby that doesn't make sense for a 14-year-old:
  • Alice aka Code Poet: 1337 hacker who allegedly makes the CIA her bitch. Is very autistic about the color of her clothes.
  • Ted aka Shades: The school's undisputed chief philosopher. Is either a radical objectivist, or at least pretends to be one for some reason.
    He also like to hand out bubble gum at "inopportune" times - like after you've just seen your brother get run over by an SUV.
  • Trevor: First introduced in the very first chapter of this series. Here it turns out he has autistic speed reading powers at near peak human capacity, which comes with the horrible flaw of his brain freezing whenever he comes across a typo.
    He also apparently likes reading Jane Austen novels for fun, which somehow manages to make even less sense.
  • Mandy: The school's knitting goddess. She pretends to be "nice" and "sweet", but IMO is more of a Karen and Proto-SJW who gets triggered when those darn redskins are calling themselves "Indians".
I assume Linkara (the author) had to read Sherman Alexie's antholoy The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven in school and hated every second of it, because it just so happens to also be a subject matter in Linkara's school, and he and his Nerd Brigade start an unprompted rant against the book.
Personally I find it incredibly weird when characters in your story suddenly start spitefully shitting on a different bit of fiction, but then again this is Linkara we're talking about, and it's not like he hasn't done it before (see his numerous rants against Shinji Ikari).

Back in the Williamson Manor, the other members of the fellowship are busy educating themselves about Earth. They catch footage of a nuke blowing up (I'm just gonna assume a clip from the Operation Crossroads tests), and the reaction of our heroes is all over the place:
  • Raven throws up.
  • Gyaru Casca gets scared shitless and starts having an argument with Linkara's dad. The guy promptly proves he has the Linkaran genes by lecturing her about how wrong and dumb she is for being scared of nukes.
  • Lithmenar's just laughing his ass off - though I'm not sure if he's laughing at the nukes or Gyaru Casca.
Thesia, after serving her purpose of over-explaining her backstroy and non-motivation last chapter, has already been sidelined. She's just reading books on philosophy or something. Maybe one day she might actually do something approaching human behavior.

The obligatory Varek segment has turned into a diary/blog format for some fucking reason.
Oh wait, I think I know the reason: He describes how he's started to squat in the warehouse by kicking out the previous squatters - who had guns. I suspect Linkara (the author) didn't know how to actually write this fight scene without Varek gaining a few extra holes in his head, so he just won off-screen.

(10bux we will never actually see any guns used against him, or anyone for that matter.)

Other than that, he seems to be mostly wasting his time reading newspapers and shit. Apparently he is also in possession of the Darkness' Ultimate Book of Ultimate Evil. Myrrha probably had to give it to him as the price for him fucking off. Allegedly the book unveils ever deeper secrets each and every time one reads it, like it has some form of sentience. Or maybe Varek's just going insane. Who knows.
At least he can now cast Invisiblity, which is a plus because it means he doesn't have to put on casual outfits to not attract attention. His hair is also back to its natural color for some reason, which is blue in his case. I guess he was originally from Aigol? At least it's not blonde.

And just when I thought this shit was over, he threatens the possibility of the dumb prophecy shit from the first two books making a stunning return.
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Also for some reason he is sure that the Linkaran will grow bored of the Linkara, and will start begging him to restore the old status quo. I assume Linkara (the author) just wanted him to spout more generic evil dialogue.
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Following the initial introduction of Indow to the group, she, Alice, and Mandy went off ahead of the group to the mall. Indow, ever curious about Earth, wanted to know how merchants operated in the world Louis came from. Louis, in the meantime, went along with Ted and Trevor on their own to the mall where they’d meet up with them later.

“It’s exactly that kind of attitude that keeps them down and enforces outdated stereotypes!” Trevor stated firmly.

“Perhaps, but the stereotype is an accurate one! And I speak from experience on this one.” Louis responded.

“But that doesn’t mean that they’re all like that! Why are you being so prejudiced against them?!” Ted queried.

“Guys, I’m just trying to say why an ethics paper on the oppression faced by zombies isn’t going to work.” Louis replied.

“Louis, I’m telling you it’s gold! Look at the way zombies are portrayed in movies – they’re slow, dim-witted flesh-eaters who do nothing but cause a menace to society. It’s a xenophobic and deadist point of view.” Ted continued.

“Deadist?” Louis asked.

“You know, like racist or sexist but against the dead.” Ted explained.

“Well, it’s not exactly a prejudiced view when it’s a hundred percent accurate.” Louis replied.

“It is not a hundred percent accurate!” Trevor spoke.

Louis stood up from the bench he had been sitting at. While the three had initially thought that they were going to shopping, their conversations had consumed their attentions and [sic] weren’t going to make them budge an inch until the matter had been resolved. Louis had brought up the fact that, while on Sin, he had encountered zombies and fought them. Ted had mentioned that his English class was preparing to do original papers for discussions on ethics and he was planning on working on a paper with Trevor about the oppression of zombies.

“Oh, yeah? Name three occurrences where zombies aren’t a menace to society.” Louis challenged.

Shaun of the Dead’s ending. We see zombies as happy, productive members of society who contribute to the world by being entertaining for people to watch. Shaun even has a zombie he can play video games with!”

“Doesn’t count because it was a comedy. Only official horror movie zombies count.” Louis balked.

“Ha! It might have been sold to the public as a comedy, but don’t you tell me that the scenes in the pub didn’t get you the least bit horrified, with the guy being pulled through the window and-”

“Yes, thank you, Ted, but I’d appreciate not being reminded of horror movie scenes that made me kind of queasy and disturbed.” Louis said, making a sick look on his face.

“HA! There, you see? You called it a horror movie!” Trevor said proudly in victory.

Louis rolled his eyes. “Okay, that’s one exception. You’re going to need at least two other-”

Ted interrupted, “Marvel Zombies. Intelligent zombies who managed to take over the world.”

“Oh, come on! That miniseries didn’t make the least bit of sense! And it was just really gross. We’re expected to believe that not only do most of the heroes survive even after various parts of their bodies have been ripped apart, but also that for some reason the plague only seemed to affect superheroes and supervillains. And for crying out loud, how exactly do you make Luke freaking Cage a zombie?! He’s got invulnerable skin; you can’t bite into him!”

“Mind you, we’re having a discussion on something that doesn’t exist-” Trevor began to say.

“Again, I’ve fought real zombies.”

“Maybe so, but you have to look beyond the plot holes and admit that these were take-charge zombies who were intelligent and calculating.” Trevor finished.

“Okay, but what about your third example?” Louis inquired.

Land of the Dead.” Ted replied.

“What about it? I’ve never seen it.” Louis said.

“Well, actually Ted and I never saw it, either, but we hear that there’s some leader zombie who’s intelligent.”

“We’re going to rent it later and find out if it’s true.”

Louis sighed and put his head in his hands.

*

“So this mall is essentially just an indoor marketplace?” Indow asked, looking around her at the various shops and stores.

“I suppose you could say that. So you do have capitalism back on Sin?” Alice queried.

“Well, I’m afraid that while I’ve studied various subjects and fields in my normal teachings and learning, I never really got around to economics. We could very well have it, but I wouldn’t know for certain because I don’t know what it is.”

Alice and Mandy took their time teaching Indow various economic models as they moved from shop to shop, focusing mostly on getting Indow some new clothes to wear. From capitalism to communism to monopolies, they gave Indow a crash course in business and money based on whatever knowledge they retained from the economics classes they had during their first two trimesters. Interspersed throughout their discussions, they had to somehow convince Indow to try on new clothing. Indow was confused about what exactly was wrong with her robes.

At one store, when they finally forced her into a dressing room, she refused to come out after putting on the clothes.

“I’m sure you look fine, Indow.” Alice stated.

“I’ve got nothing covering my stomach or my arms! I’ll freeze to death in this outfit! And where’s my tail supposed to go?!” she called from behind her changing room.

“Indow, it’s like seventy degrees outside!” Mandy stated.

“I don’t care! I might as well be naked in this outfit!” Indow yelled back.

“Well, then you’re coming out of there naked, Indow. We have your robes and we’re not giving them back to you until you show us what you look like.” Alice demanded.

“You know, a thought occurs, why hasn’t anyone around us commented on the fact that Indow has fur and pointed ears?” Mandy inquired.

“Did you notice she had fur when you first saw her?” Alice asked, smirking.

“No, I thought she just had kind of darker skin until I saw her up close.”

Alice leaned back against a wall in the changing room hallway. “And if you saw a person that looked like they had fur or pointed ears in a mall, like in a food court, what would you do?”

Mandy blinked and didn’t respond, trying to think about what her reaction would be.

“You’d do nothing, exactly. Weirder things and people show up in places. They probably think she’s doing some weird cosplay or dare or something. People have been staring a bit, but that’s all.” Alice explained.

“I suppose that makes sense...” Mandy said, trailing off.

The door to the changing room opened and Indow stepped out, her cheeks red thanks to her blushing. She had her arms crossed over her midriff-exposed stomach, almost like she was trying to hide it. She was wearing a bright pink tube top over her chest and a tight pair of dark blue jeans on her legs, her tail tucked down one pant leg. She kept the simple shoes she had worn since the start of her journey, however, over the objections of the girls. Her hair was let down and rested on her shoulders.

“I wore an outfit like this once when I was working at a Warrior’s Rest...” she complained.

“Well, get used to seeing it around here, sister. Women dress like this all the time.” Mandy said with a smile.

“Only girls who can’t figure out what to wear on a regular basis.” Alice stated as she smirked, posing a little in her beatnik-like outfit.

“Can I have my robes back? People will stare at me if I try to go out in this.” Indow spoke, still blushing.

“Hun, you want people to look at you. Especially the guys.” Mandy explained as she crossed her arms.

Indow blinked at her and tilted her head slightly in confusion.

“Why?”

Mandy stared back at her. “What do you mean?”

“Why would you want men to look at you?” Indow queried.

It was Mandy’s turn to be confused. “I don’t know... I suppose because then you can feel appreciated and beautiful because all of those people looking at you in envy and admiration.”

Indow’s brow furrowed slightly as she tried to make sense of what Mandy was saying. “But you’re already appreciated and beautiful. Why do you need the validation of others on it? Their opinions on your beauty are as irrelevant as their opinions on what color the sky should be. It does not change the true facts of the situation. I’m not some statue to be ogled at.”

“Right on, woman!” Alice said with a laugh, distracting the two from their train of thought.

Indow looked to Alice and smiled. “All right, I will wear this ridiculous outfit, but only if I can wear some other long-sleeved shirt over it. I want to at least cover my arms.”

“Deal. Change back into your robes and we’ll go pay for the clothes.” Alice said, handing the robes back over to Indow.

The Priestess went back inside the fitting room to get back into her normal clothes. Alice looked to Mandy, who shrugged her shoulders and leaned back against the wall beside Alice.

“I don’t see anything wrong with liking to be looked at.” Mandy said.

“Neither do I and I suspect Indow doesn’t, either, she just doesn’t come from a place where the mass media creates an irregular standard that people, especially women, are supposed to live up to.” Alice explained.

Mandy rolled her eyes. “Please, you don’t buy into the idea that people are that influenced by the media. We’ve talked about this. People only are influenced by it if they let themselves be influenced by it. People have free will and can make their own choices.”

Alice smirked. “Yeah, but does Indow get that?”

*

“In other news, questions still remain unanswered by the Pharos City police chief Eddie Crane on the actual relationship the police now share with the costumed vigilante ‘Lightbringer.’ The questions came about after Chief Crane announced his public support and commitment to working with the ‘superhero’ in cleaning up the crime rate of the city. While public opinion of the world’s first ‘real’ superhero has been high, many lawmakers and law enforcement personnel are taking offense to Chief Crane’s support of what they call a ‘violent, lawbreaking vigilante.’ The Pharos City police commissioner has so far refused to comment on-”

The image on the TV paused thanks to the TiVo installed into it. Lithmenar looked over at White Raven, confused as to why she had paused the news program. White Raven looked intently at the screen, a confused look on her face.

“I’m watching this, you know.” He pointed out.

“I’m aware of that; I’m just trying to figure out what a ‘superhero’ is.” She replied.

“Human beings with abilities beyond those of ordinary people who put on costumes to hide their identity and engage criminals in combat.” said Louis’ brother as he entered the room, eating some jello from a small container.

“Louis never mentioned this to us.” White Raven stated.

“He wouldn’t, really. Thing is, that Lightbringer guy’s only been around for a few weeks now and he’s the only one out there.” George replied.

“Then where did the term ‘superhero’ come from if it’s that recent?” Lithmenar asked.

“Comic books. Did Louis tell you about those?”

The two nodded.

“Well, then there you have it. Superheroes have been around in comic books for over sixty years. While I really only read Nightwing, Louis is pretty much a walking encyclopedia for everything else going on. Lightbringer’s been taking out criminals in Pharos City and doing a damned good job of it.” George explained.

“So he’s like some warrior who stays in one place and eliminates thugs? How droll.” Lithmenar says, leaning back on the couch.

“He doesn’t kill them. He hasn’t killed a single person yet. Sure, intense burns and broken limbs, but no one’s died. Hell, no one even got killed during the raid on the Slavers’ HQ.”

“Slavers? I thought Louis said slavery was an illegal and immoral practice on your world.” White Raven said.

George nodded and swallowed some of his jello. “Damn right it is. It still happens, though. Pharos has had so much crime in it that the Slavers were abducting people, raping and killing, and all the other fun, happy stuff in broad daylight because they knew no one would do anything about it. Suddenly Lightbringer starts showing his face and in two weeks, he takes out the entire organization just by throwing their leader through a window.”

Jordahn walked into the living room, having overheard the conversation from the other room. “But he hasn’t killed anyone? Louis would’ve just eliminated them like any warrior should.”

George turned to face her. “What are you talking about?”

“Enemies like that should not be allowed to survive. If it had been Louis in that spot, he would’ve annihilated his foes with honor.” Jordahn responded.

“What the hell are you saying?! Louis doesn’t kill people!” George almost yelled.

“Of course he does. He did when he was back on Sin. He killed Dark Knights and Terafell Arbiters in battle all the time,” Jordahn said, pausing for a moment to cringe and add, “And sometimes when he wasn’t.”

“Louis killed people?!” George exclaimed in shock.

“Of course he did. It was wartime and he was a soldier. Why do you look so surprised?” Jordahn inquired, confused by George’s reaction.

*

Louis’ jaw almost dropped as he saw Indow approach with Mandy and Alice following. The change of outfit suited her well as she wore the clothes that his two friends had bought for her, with the addition of a plaid button-down shirt similar to Louis’ own usual attire. The conversation about zombies had long since ended and he, along with Ted and Trevor, had gone to the food court to wait for the girls to return. After getting some Arby’s, they were just about to return to conversing about things that only geeks would consider fascinating until the girls showed up.

“Indow, you look... uh... um...” Louis tried to speak, his words getting muffled as he continued to stare at Indow.

“I look like a whore.” She responded, crossing her arms and glaring at Mandy.

Mandy rolled her eyes and sat down at the table where the three boys were. “You’re so afraid of people looking at you, but wearing those robes everywhere will get you to stick out like a sore thumb.”

“At least they’re dignified.” Indow replied as she sat down at the table.

“I can tell you right away, Indow, that you are the most beautiful woman in the world in whatever clothes you where [sic].” Louis commented as he leaned over to give Indow a kiss on the cheek.

Indow gladly accepted it and blushed. “Thank you, my love.”

Ted grinned and leaned forward, pushing his sunglasses down to the edge of his nose. “Ah, ‘She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies; and all that’s best of dark and bright meet her aspect and her eyes: thus mellow’d to that tender light which heaven to gaudy day denies.’ Gum?”

Ted offered a piece of gum to the two young lovers. They declined his offer.

“Well, what else are we going to be doing for the rest of the day?” Alice asked.

“I was thinking that after we finished lunch, Indow and I would go back home. Tomorrow, we might head out to the Mega Mall and show her Camp Snoopy as her introduction to amusement parks.” Louis replied.

“Can I get you anything to drink, my love? Perhaps some of that brown liquid you were drinking yesterday?” Indow queried.

“No pop for me, Indow. My body’s still getting readjusted to being back here, so it’s just water from now until-”

Louis almost yelled in shock as he looked down at his water. The others turned to look at him and their gazes followed down with his. Louis’ eyes widened and the blood drained from his face, making it appear pale and sick as he stared down at the water glass in front of him. The others got just as surprised by the sight before them, albeit it was only Indow and Louis who truly understood what was happening. A black cloud was moving through the water, as if a spot of black paint had been dropped into the clear liquid. As the water completely turned black, blackened steam rose from the glass as Louis looked up from the glass across the food court to its nearby entrance of but ten feet away. Varek the Destroyer was standing in the doorway, his face twisted into a glare.

“Hello, Linkara. I’ve come to kill you.”
RiffingShow
Following the initial introduction of Indow to the group...
Which we didn't get to see, btw. Though who honestly wants to see some teenagers meet some hoe from another world for the first time :roll: ?
And does this imply the introduction happened after the whacky hijinks at the park? When she had already sat there awkwardly on the sidelines for I assume at least an hour, ignored by (almost) all? Wouldn't it have made more sense for her to join later?
... she, Alice, and Mandy went off ahead of the group to the mall.
Oh, so that's why she had to already be at the park. Because they had to immediately go to the mall, which is the actual location where Indow is important.
Except Linkara (the author) has already shown to just skip shit like her introduction, so I dunno why he couldn't just cut her out of the previous chapter and then start this one with "After picking up Indow...".
Indow, ever curious about Earth, wanted to know how merchants operated in the world Louis came from.
They accept the local currency in exchange for goods and services, just like in your world.
Louis, in the meantime, went along with Ted and Trevor on their own to the mall where they’d meet up with them later.
I'm sure leaving Indow alone with are effectively two strangers to her won't backfire at all.
“It’s exactly that kind of attitude that keeps them down and enforces outdated stereotypes!” Trevor stated firmly.
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This is off to a great start.
“Perhaps, but the stereotype is an accurate one! And I speak from experience on this one.” Louis responded.

“But that doesn’t mean that they’re all like that! Why are you being so prejudiced against them?!” Ted queried.
I dunno if this'll be better or worse once we actually know WTF they're talking about.
“Guys, I’m just trying to say why an ethics paper on the oppression faced by zombies isn’t going to work.” Louis replied.
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Worse it is.
“Louis, I’m telling you it’s gold! Look at the way zombies are portrayed in movies – they’re slow, dim-witted flesh-eaters who do nothing but cause a menace to society. It’s a xenophobic and deadist point of view.” Ted continued.

“Deadist?” Louis asked.

“You know, like racist or sexist but against the dead.” Ted explained.
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“Well, it’s not exactly a prejudiced view when it’s a hundred percent accurate.” Louis replied.

“It is not a hundred percent accurate!” Trevor spoke.
They're arguing about whether or not Linkara's real experience with the undead is sufficiently representative of the concept of fictional zombies. This is the type of "intellectual" and "philosophical" discussions we're dealing with.
Louis stood up from the bench he had been sitting at. While the three had initially thought that they were going to shopping, their conversations had consumed their attentions and [sic] weren’t going to make them budge an inch until the matter had been resolved.
The Great Linkara shall not allow his minions to indulge in consumerist behavior until they have accepted the wrongness of their opinion.
Louis had brought up the fact that, while on Sin, he had encountered zombies and fought them. Ted had mentioned that his English class was preparing to do original papers for discussions on ethics and he was planning on working on a paper with Trevor about the oppression of zombies.
You know, you'd think that Hillside's famous philosopher king would be able to realize that the zombies are the oppressors here. They intrude upon everyone else's life, and they try to force everyone to conform to their way of living (erasing their individuality in the process).
But no, they're bad guy portrayed in a negative light, so they're oppressed I guess.
“Oh, yeah? Name three occurrences where zombies aren’t a menace to society.” Louis challenged.
Are you guys now trying to figure out which of the various fictional zombies are in favor and against your theory? Get a fucking life, you losers.
Shaun of the Dead’s ending. We see zombies as happy, productive members of society who contribute to the world by being entertaining for people to watch. Shaun even has a zombie he can play video games with!”
They have to be put in chains because they're still trying to eat people, which you might just see as a form of slavery, Mr. Philosopher.
“Doesn’t count because it was a comedy. Only official horror movie zombies count.” Louis balked.
This discussion has all the sophistication of a playground pretend-fight.
“Ha! It might have been sold to the public as a comedy, but don’t you tell me that the scenes in the pub didn’t get you the least bit horrified, with the guy being pulled through the window and-”

“Yes, thank you, Ted, but I’d appreciate not being reminded of horror movie scenes that made me kind of queasy and disturbed.” Louis said, making a sick look on his face.

“HA! There, you see? You called it a horror movie!” Trevor said proudly in victory.
Give me a moment. I'm too sober for this.

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Much better.
Louis rolled his eyes. “Okay, that’s one exception. You’re going to need at least two other-”

Ted interrupted, “Marvel Zombies. Intelligent zombies who managed to take over the world.”
Apparently taking over the world (by killing everyone) does not count as being a "menace to society".
“Oh, come on! That miniseries didn’t make the least bit of sense! And it was just really gross. We’re expected to believe that not only do most of the heroes survive even after various parts of their bodies have been ripped apart, but also that for some reason the plague only seemed to affect superheroes and supervillains. And for crying out loud, how exactly do you make Luke freaking Cage a zombie?! He’s got invulnerable skin; you can’t bite into him!”
Thor, Hulk and I think Galactucs also got zombified - and you draw the line at some glorified strongman?
“Mind you, we’re having a discussion on something that doesn’t exist-” Trevor began to say.
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“Again, I’ve fought real zombies.”

“Maybe so, but you have to look beyond the plot holes and admit that these were take-charge zombies who were intelligent and calculating.” Trevor finished.
And are still a menace to society.
“Okay, but what about your third example?” Louis inquired.

Land of the Dead.” Ted replied.

“What about it? I’ve never seen it.” Louis said.

“Well, actually Ted and I never saw it, either, but we hear that there’s some leader zombie who’s intelligent.”

“We’re going to rent it later and find out if it’s true.”
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Louis sighed and put his head in his hands.
Hey, that's my thing.

*
“So this mall is essentially just an indoor marketplace?” Indow asked, looking around her at the various shops and stores.
Did Linkara never tell you guys about malls? I thought Burgers loved those things.
“I suppose you could say that. So you do have capitalism back on Sin?” Alice queried.
This better not turn into another inane discussion.
“Well, I’m afraid that while I’ve studied various subjects and fields in my normal teachings and learning, I never really got around to economics. We could very well have it, but I wouldn’t know for certain because I don’t know what it is.”
That's a lot of words just to say "Bitch, I dunno what you're talking about."
Alice and Mandy took their time teaching Indow various economic models as they moved from shop to shop, focusing mostly on getting Indow some new clothes to wear. From capitalism to communism to monopolies, they gave Indow a crash course in business and money based on whatever knowledge they retained from the economics classes they had during their first two trimesters.
Thank God, we only get the CliffNotes version.
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I assume these cerebrally stimulating discourses are only of interest to Linkara (the author) if his self-insert is present to deliver unto us the objective truth.
Interspersed throughout their discussions, they had to somehow convince Indow to try on new clothing. Indow was confused about what exactly was wrong with her robes.
If she took a look around she would notice that she's the only one dressed like this. But I guess this is another one of those cases where name- and faceless civilians don't really exist.
And did she or Linkara do anything to cover her ears, tail and that thin layer of fur she supposedly has? That would raise some eyebrows if there's not an anime convention going on at the same time.
At one store, when they finally forced her into a dressing room, she refused to come out after putting on the clothes.

“I’m sure you look fine, Indow.” Alice stated.

“I’ve got nothing covering my stomach or my arms! I’ll freeze to death in this outfit! And where’s my tail supposed to go?!” she called from behind her changing room.
Did you not look at the clothes before trying them on. And where does your tail usually go?
“Indow, it’s like seventy degrees outside!” Mandy stated.
But did she complain about the heat before?
“Indow, it’s like seventy degrees outside!” Mandy stated.

“I don’t care! I might as well be naked in this outfit!” Indow yelled back.

“Well, then you’re coming out of there naked, Indow. We have your robes and we’re not giving them back to you until you show us what you look like.” Alice demanded.
Peer pressure and/or bullying? What a delightful collection of friends Linkara's got there.
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“You know, a thought occurs, why hasn’t anyone around us commented on the fact that Indow has fur and pointed ears?” Mandy inquired.
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I see our dear author has recognized this issue and is about to put our worries at ease.
“Did you notice she had fur when you first saw her?” Alice asked, smirking.

“No, I thought she just had kind of darker skin until I saw her up close.”

Alice leaned back against a wall in the changing room hallway. “And if you saw a person that looked like they had fur or pointed ears in a mall, like in a food court, what would you do?”

Mandy blinked and didn’t respond, trying to think about what her reaction would be.

“You’d do nothing, exactly. Weirder things and people show up in places. They probably think she’s doing some weird cosplay or dare or something. People have been staring a bit, but that’s all.” Alice explained.

“I suppose that makes sense...” Mandy said, trailing off.
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Oh, Mandy. Being worried about those NPCs. They aren't even real.
The door to the changing room opened and Indow stepped out, her cheeks red thanks to her blushing. She had her arms crossed over her midriff-exposed stomach, almost like she was trying to hide it. She was wearing a bright pink tube top over her chest and a tight pair of dark blue jeans on her legs, her tail tucked down one pant leg.
Those jeans can't be that tight if you can tuck a fucking tail in there, can they?
She kept the simple shoes she had worn since the start of her journey, however, over the objections of the girls.
You have weird priorities.
“I wore an outfit like this once when I was working at a Warrior’s Rest...” she complained.
But not for long, Honey.
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“Well, get used to seeing it around here, sister. Women dress like this all the time.” Mandy said with a smile.
"You'd have noticed it if we had background extra in this series."
“Only girls who can’t figure out what to wear on a regular basis.” Alice stated as she smirked, posing a little in her beatnik-like outfit.
I'm sure everyone is really impressed by your unique and fascinating style that hasn't been en vogue ever.
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“Can I have my robes back? People will stare at me if I try to go out in this.” Indow spoke, still blushing.

“Hun, you want people to look at you. Especially the guys.” Mandy explained as she crossed her arms.
"Especially the older guys."
Image
Indow blinked at her and tilted her head slightly in confusion.

“Why?”
Really? You were the town bicycle of at least two entire kingdoms. Can you seriously not pick up what this hoe is putting down?
Mandy stared back at her. “What do you mean?”

“Why would you want men to look at you?” Indow queried.

It was Mandy’s turn to be confused. “I don’t know... I suppose because then you can feel appreciated and beautiful because all of those people looking at you in envy and admiration.”
I get the feeling that Linkara (the author)'s view on women here did not age well.
Indow’s brow furrowed slightly as she tried to make sense of what Mandy was saying. “But you’re already appreciated and beautiful. Why do you need the validation of others on it? Their opinions on your beauty are as irrelevant as their opinions on what color the sky should be. It does not change the true facts of the situation. I’m not some statue to be ogled at.”
Can we go back to sperging about capitalism. Pretty please?
Indow looked to Alice and smiled. “All right, I will wear this ridiculous outfit, but only if I can wear some other long-sleeved shirt over it. I want to at least cover my arms.”

“Deal. Change back into your robes and we’ll go pay for the clothes.” Alice said, handing the robes back over to Indow.

The Priestess went back inside the fitting room to get back into her normal clothes.
So what, she's getting a sweater over her top? But what about the scorching Minnesotan spring sun?
Alice looked to Mandy, who shrugged her shoulders and leaned back against the wall beside Alice.

“I don’t see anything wrong with liking to be looked at.” Mandy said.
Seems to me you haven't had the wrong kind of male attention yet.
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“Neither do I and I suspect Indow doesn’t, either, she just doesn’t come from a place where the mass media creates an irregular standard that people, especially women, are supposed to live up to.” Alice explained.

Mandy rolled her eyes. “Please, you don’t buy into the idea that people are that influenced by the media. We’ve talked about this. People only are influenced by it if they let themselves be influenced by it. People have free will and can make their own choices.”
So you're like okay with being slutty, but you also are aware that the mass media wants you to be slutty?
Alice smirked. “Yeah, but does Indow get that?”
Nope. She will do what ever her sweetheart and messiah demands.

*
“In other news, questions still remain unanswered by the Pharos City police chief Eddie Crane on the actual relationship the police now share with the costumed vigilante ‘Lightbringer.’ The questions came about after Chief Crane announced his public support and commitment to working with the ‘superhero’ in cleaning up the crime rate of the city. While public opinion of the world’s first ‘real’ superhero has been high, many lawmakers and law enforcement personnel are taking offense to Chief Crane’s support of what they call a ‘violent, lawbreaking vigilante.’ The Pharos City police commissioner has so far refused to comment on-”
Warning. Linkara's IPs are crossing over for real. This is not a drill.
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(And the Chief has already declared his undying support for the Lightbringer. What more information does the press want, and why is he avoiding them? And no, I'm not gonna read the comic to see if this shit makes more sense there.)
The image on the TV paused thanks to the TiVo installed into it.
Linkara (the author) sure is getting his mileage out of this TV having a pause function.
Lithmenar looked over at White Raven, confused as to why she had paused the news program. White Raven looked intently at the screen, a confused look on her face.

“I’m watching this, you know.” He pointed out.

“I’m aware of that; I’m just trying to figure out what a ‘superhero’ is.” She replied.
And you had to pause the TV for that?
“Human beings with abilities beyond those of ordinary people who put on costumes to hide their identity and engage criminals in combat.” said Louis’ brother as he entered the room, eating some jello from a small container.

“Louis never mentioned this to us.” White Raven stated.
Holy fucking shit. George is actively interacting with the real characters.

(And why did Linkara never compare himself a capeshitter in their presence?)
“He wouldn’t, really. Thing is, that Lightbringer guy’s only been around for a few weeks now and he’s the only one out there.” George replied.
Yeah, but capeshitters have been around for decades in comics.
“Then where did the term ‘superhero’ come from if it’s that recent?” Lithmenar asked.

“Comic books."
See?
"Did Louis tell you about those?”

The two nodded.

“Well, then there you have it. Superheroes have been around in comic books for over sixty years. While I really only read Nightwing, Louis is pretty much a walking encyclopedia for everything else going on.
Then why are you so sure that he wouldn't mention capeshitter in their presence?
"Lightbringer’s been taking out criminals in Pharos City and doing a damned good job of it.” George explained.
Then again, things can't really get worse for Pharos City anymore...
“So he’s like some warrior who stays in one place and eliminates thugs? How droll.” Lithmenar says, leaning back on the couch.
It's like he's actually doing shit, instead of just stealing money.
“He doesn’t kill them. He hasn’t killed a single person yet. Sure, intense burns and broken limbs, but no one’s died. Hell, no one even got killed during the raid on the Slavers’ HQ.”
"Oh sure, some are scarred and crippled for life, but at least they're still alive, right?"
“Slavers? I thought Louis said slavery was an illegal and immoral practice on your world.” White Raven said.
It's almost like these two stories weren't originally intended to be part of the same cinematic universe.
George nodded and swallowed some of his jello. “Damn right it is. It still happens, though. Pharos has had so much crime in it that the Slavers were abducting people, raping and killing, and all the other fun, happy stuff in broad daylight because they knew no one would do anything about it.
You know you're reading an authentic Lovhaug when rape is casually brought up.
"Suddenly Lightbringer starts showing his face and in two weeks, he takes out the entire organization just by throwing their leader through a window.”
I assume this was on the first floor? Or did he like catch him before he got splattered on the ground?
Jordahn walked into the living room, having overheard the conversation from the other room. “But he hasn’t killed anyone? Louis would’ve just eliminated them like any warrior should.”
Book 1-2 Linkara? Most definitely. Book 3+ Linkara? Not so much.
Fuck, if Book 3 is any indication he'd just kick the Chief Slaver in the nuts and then just piss off without dismantling his organization.
George turned to face her. “What are you talking about?”

“Enemies like that should not be allowed to survive. If it had been Louis in that spot, he would’ve annihilated his foes with honor.” Jordahn responded.
Kicking people in the balls isn't exactly honorable.
“What the hell are you saying?! Louis doesn’t kill people!” George almost yelled.

“Of course he does. He did when he was back on Sin. He killed Dark Knights and Terafell Arbiters in battle all the time,” Jordahn said, pausing for a moment to cringe and add, “And sometimes when he wasn’t.”

“Louis killed people?!” George exclaimed in shock.

“Of course he did. It was wartime and he was a soldier. Why do you look so surprised?” Jordahn inquired, confused by George’s reaction.
This is like the first natural reaction in this entire book, and it only took us getting past 1/4 of the story.

*
Louis’ jaw almost dropped as he saw Indow approach with Mandy and Alice following.
Image
The change of outfit suited her well as she wore the clothes that his two friends had bought for her, with the addition of a plaid button-down shirt similar to Louis’ own usual attire.
"Fuck yeah! My sweetheart is dressed just like me!"
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The conversation about zombies had long since ended and he, along with Ted and Trevor, had gone to the food court to wait for the girls to return.
I'm glad this conversation got such a satisfying conclusion.
After getting some Arby’s, they were just about to return to conversing about things that only geeks would consider fascinating until the girls showed up.
I am a geek, and I couldn't give less of a shit about the inane bullshit you guys are talking about.
“Indow, you look... uh... um...” Louis tried to speak, his words getting muffled as he continued to stare at Indow.

“I look like a whore.” She responded, crossing her arms and glaring at Mandy.
Well, you are one.
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And how exactly did they force you to put that outfit back on after they bought it for you and you were back in your robes? You're a fucking wizard. Just tell them to go fuck themselves.
Mandy rolled her eyes and sat down at the table where the three boys were. “You’re so afraid of people looking at you, but wearing those robes everywhere will get you to stick out like a sore thumb.”
Didn't you just talk with the Great Code Poet about how being a total freak isn't a big deal?
“At least they’re dignified.” Indow replied as she sat down at the table.

“I can tell you right away, Indow, that you are the most beautiful woman in the world in whatever clothes you where [sic].” Louis commented as he leaned over to give Indow a kiss on the cheek.

Indow gladly accepted it and blushed. “Thank you, my love.”
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(You know things are dire when I can use fucking RWBY to make fun of this.)
Ted grinned and leaned forward, pushing his sunglasses down to the edge of his nose.
Quick! use a flashlight!
“Ah, ‘She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies; and all that’s best of dark and bright meet her aspect and her eyes: thus mellow’d to that tender light which heaven to gaudy day denies.’ Gum?”
He did it again!
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And I guess we can add Lord Fucking Byron to the list of shit this 14-year-old is into for some reason.
Ted offered a piece of gum to the two young lovers. They declined his offer.

“Well, what else are we going to be doing for the rest of the day?” Alice asked.

“I was thinking that after we finished lunch, Indow and I would go back home. Tomorrow, we might head out to the Mega Mall and show her Camp Snoopy as her introduction to amusement parks.” Louis replied.
Sounds like a real riot.
“Can I get you anything to drink, my love? Perhaps some of that brown liquid you were drinking yesterday?” Indow queried.
Can't see that going wrong, so by all means send her on this quest.
“No pop for me, Indow. My body’s still getting readjusted to being back here, so it’s just water from now until-”

Louis almost yelled in shock as he looked down at his water. The others turned to look at him and their gazes followed down with his. Louis’ eyes widened and the blood drained from his face, making it appear pale and sick as he stared down at the water glass in front of him. The others got just as surprised by the sight before them, albeit it was only Indow and Louis who truly understood what was happening. A black cloud was moving through the water, as if a spot of black paint had been dropped into the clear liquid. As the water completely turned black, blackened steam rose from the glass as Louis looked up from the glass across the food court to its nearby entrance of but ten feet away. Varek the Destroyer was standing in the doorway, his face twisted into a glare.
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Now you might be wondering how the fuck Varek managed to find and recognize Linkara, and I'm sure we will get an amazing explanation next chapter.
I'm mostly confused by the water. I thought water no longer did that after the Darkness got killed? Plus the guy is turning "normal" again to the point that his hair color changed. So how come the water's still turning black in his presence?
“Hello, Linkara. I’ve come to kill you.”
"I am T'kata Varek. You killed my blob. Prepare to die."
Next Time: The first real fight of this book. Just how much will Varek get his ass kicked this time?!
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by wulfenlord » Sun Jun 08, 2025 9:08 am

I will make sure to add [X sits idly and swallows a piece of gum] to my literary oeuvre, aside the eating of apples.
Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl muh'fugen bix nood

Whenever you feel down :3
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Tue Jun 10, 2025 10:34 pm

Book 4, Chapter 5 - The Way of the World I
(Or: Being Linkara is Suffering)



Ladies and gentlemen! It is time for the first exciting confrontation between Linkara and Varek!
And it's another three-parter thing, with the second part happening around the middle and the final one being the penultimate chapter of the whole book.
Tell me they're gonna have a total of three duels without telling me they're gonna have a total of three duels.

And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.
RecapShow
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There was a lot of stupid in the last chapter, but fortunately it can be summarized quite easily:
  • Linkara and his bros have the most retarded zombie discussion I have ever witnessed.
  • Linkara's female friends are forcing Indow to dress up as a slut against her consent.
  • The fucking Lightbringer is mentioned
  • Linkara's brother George is losing his goddamn mind at the idea that Linkara has killed people.
  • Linkara flaunts his new sweetheart in front of his friends.
  • And then a Varek popped out!
ChapterShow
Indow and Louis were too much in shock to react to what they saw. As such, Varek had the first move. He immediately leapt across the room, his agility further surprising the assembled group. He unsheathed his sword in mid-air and swung down at Louis as he came down. Louis, finally acting in response to what was happening, stood up from his seat and raised his gauntlet up to block the attack. As soon as Varek’s sword touched his armor, Louis quickly became aware of the fact that everyone else in the food court had disappeared at once, leaving only him and his attacker. Electrical sparks flew out of the spot that Varek’s sword touched, the armor’s defense system working as well as it always had. Louis quickly gave the command to it to form up his other gauntlet, swinging his arm at Varek’s face as he did so. By the time it reached the Destroyer’s face, his metal-encased fist slammed against Varek’s exposed cheek and sent him flying across the room.

Louis took the moment he had to look around, thinking for a moment as if everyone else had simply ducked out of the way because of what had happened. However, it was quite evident that everyone had just spontaneously vanished, including other patrons, mall walkers, and the cashiers at the counters. Varek got up once again and Louis realized he needed more room to fight in than the cramped floor space of a food court. He ran out the doorway, Varek quickly giving pursuit.

Since the food court was on the second level of the mall, Louis jumped up over the glass that guarded those walking along the edge of the second level from falling over and let the rest of his armor take shape. The back and the wings came out first so he could fly while the rest of his armor followed suit. Louis spun himself around as his wings flapped, stabilizing him so he was hovering high above the ground. Varek came after him only a second later, surprising Louis by the fact that he could fly, as well. He figured that his attacker was undoubtedly a magic user, which frightened him a little. The tenacity of the Dark Knight before him was quite different than the standard fare Louis had been used to back on Sin.

Questions raced through his mind as he blocked or evaded more sword swipes from the caped knight.

Who is this guy? He asked himself. How did he get to Earth? Why is he so intent on killing me? Weren’t the Dark Knights on Sin happy now?

Louis pushed aside the questions as the tip of Varek’s blade struck his armor. While it still produced an electrical shock, Louis felt the impact through his armor, much to his continued surprise. He figured that the assailant was attacking him with very powerful blows and he needed to strike back as soon as he could. The blades from his gauntlets quickly emerged and he rushed forward with both, hoping the sudden attack would catch the knight by surprise.

Varek yelped in pain as one of the blades pierced his armor just enough to stab an inch into him. However, he fought back by slamming his elbow against Louis’ face, sending him spiraling backwards and away. Louis shook his face to clear it and he flew up, ordering his armor to protect his head as he crashed through the glass ceiling of the mall. Varek growled and flew up, following after him.

*

In the blink of an eye, Louis and Varek had disappeared. The group looked from Louis’ chair to the spot where they had seen the Dark Knight and they saw nothing there. Indow rose up from her chair and closed her eyes. The others followed suit with standing up, but didn’t know what Indow was up to. The Anako priestess’ body began to glow a bright yellow, so the others moved in closer to her, hoping to hide her sudden illumination from the rest of the populace. After a few more seconds of glowing, Indow opened her eyes and winced, the light from her body vanishing.

“Louis is still here, tethered to this plane.” She proclaimed.

“What are you talking about? Who was that guy and what happened to him and Louis?!” Ted demanded to know.

“I’m not entirely certain...” Indow replied as she ran outside of the food court.

The other four ran after her as she continually looked from one direction to the next, her eyes shutting for a moment before she came to the glass wall over the edge of the floor, holding her hands to the railing. Her eyes shifted around under her eyelids as she focused herself, trying to trace magical patterns and residual energies. She looked up at the skylight and opened her eyes, wincing. Indow quickly turned around to face the others, leaning back against the wall.

“We must return to Louis’ home! I may need some assistance!” she proclaimed.

Alice reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. “Who needs to go all the way back there...”

*

Thesia kept her eyes focused on the chess board in front of her, her hands entwined as she examined her available pieces and the moves she could make with them. White Raven sat across from her at the table while John Williamson sat between them, looking almost bored silly from the lack of playing occurring between the opponents. After another several seconds of waiting for Thesia to make a move, he opened his mouth, ready to give her a suggestion for a move, but before a sound could be uttered from his lips, Thesia’s hand snapped up and a finger went vertically across John’s lips, keeping him silent.

Thesia reached out and moved one of her pawns a space forward. John sighed and leaned back in his chair, shaking his head.

Erica smiled as she worked on making a pot pie for herself for lunch.

“You know, this game would be over by now if you had agreed to time it like I said you should.” He stated.

“Thesia is still a newcomer to chess. I do not wish to let her try to make her moves on a timed basis when she has not yet properly absorbed the rules of the game.” White Raven responded as she moved a piece of her own.

“She’s beaten you three times now. I don’t think she’s that much of a beginner.” John responded.

Lord of the Rings or Tarnsman of Gor?” Lithmenar asked from the living room.

“What?” Erica inquired, looking up from the kitchen and into the living room, which were adjoined with the dining room between them.

Lithmenar called back, “Louis recommended that I use his laptop and download an e-book to read through to get a better understanding of how earth views so-called ‘fantasy’ worlds like Sin. While it took me a bit of time to understand how to use this curious device, my general searching has come up with several recommendations for both and I frankly don’t feel like trying to read two books, so which should I choose – Lords [sic] of the Rings or Tarnsman of Gor?”

“Neither in my humble opinion.” John mumbled from the table as he continued to watch the chess game slowly unfold.

“You’re not going to get either!” Erica called as she stomped over to the living room. “We have the DVDs to the Lord of the Rings movies and you can watch those if you want. And if I see anything related to Gor or John Norman in this house, digital or print, whatever it’s being viewed on I’m going to set fire to!”

Lithmenar blinked and raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Why the disliking of the books? According to what I’ve read, it’s a fascinating philosophical read and I could be able to understand the plot thanks to the ‘fantasy’ setting.”

“Lithmenar, that ‘philosophical read’ is nothing but a misogynistic handbook. There have been philosophers in the world who I have disagreed with, there have been liberal writers who I wanted to have jailed and imprisoned for the kind of garbage they peddle out, and there has been more than one occasion when I’ve wanted to just shoot myself instead of listen to an idiotic speaker talk, but John Norman... John Norman is heralded in some circles as a fucking philosophical liberator for that crap he wrote. He believes that women are the ‘submissive natural helper’ and, figuratively speaking, then, the slaves of men. His books have women delighted and elated that suddenly they’re wearing chains and collars and BDSM crap.

“Lithmenar, I’m not a feminist. I believe that men and women are very different and that more usually than not, men are better at something than women are and women are better at something that men are. But the presumption of some science fiction writer to fucking tell me that I’m supposed to be submissive to men in order to be happy? Not on your life. On top of that, people actually live their lives according to this guy, surrendering their freedom to live a 24/7 life of servitude to a master. It sickens me to think that anyone would ever willingly give up their freedom. It just sickens me.” Erica said, shaking her head and going back to her pot pie.

Lithmenar blinked. “So, Lord of the Rings, then?”

“People on this planet really like to give speeches on ethics.” White Raven stated as she moved one of her rooks in close, hoping to make a checkmate in a few moves.

Before anyone else could speak, the phone rang. John got up from his seat and answered it, a confused look on his face as he heard Indow on the other line.

“Varek the who?” he asked.

Thesia couldn’t have gotten up to her feet faster. She swept her body around, her eyes wide. The sudden movement had her scrape against the table, bumping it hard enough to move all the pieces remaining on the board over by a few inches.

“What did you say?!” she yelled.

*

"Varek the Destroyer, isn't it? I never really met you after I decked your 'Queen,'" Louis said with a grin.

It had taken Louis a bit of time to finally recognize his attacker. After returning from Sin’s past, the rest of his group had given him the full, detailed explanation of the takeover by the Dark Knights in Soyah and what Dark Knights were still at large after Myrrha had been dethroned from her position as Queen of the Eclipsed Legion. They had shown him a visage of Varek in case they ran into him on their way back to the church and Louis had finally remembered the face of one of the most sworn and loyal servants of the Darkness. Figuring that he could catch his opponent off guard, he decided to taunt Varek, let him make a mistake while he planned his moves. After fleeing from the mall, they had flown closer to a small collection of stores along the road and gone down into a fairly wide alleyway, where Louis withdrew his armor in order to lull Varek into a false sense of security.

Varek didn't answer Louis’ question. Instead, he charged again at his nemesis, slicing his sword horizontally. Louis laughed and leapt up using his enhanced agility, making Varek's swipe hit nothing but air. Louis flipped once in the air and landed gracefully again, his arms outstretched to maintain his balance. Varek twisted around and did another slash with his sword, but Louis nimbly went backwards, making the shot miss again. Louis chuckled and crossed his arms, rolling his eyes as he stared at the Dark Knight before him.

"I give you credit for following me this far, Varek. I'm not sure how you did it, but you followed me all the way to my home planet just so you could get revenge for your fallen master." Louis stated as Varek continually swiped at Louis' lithe form.

Each attempt at Louis' life was countered and avoided, but Varek wasn't showing any sign of irritation from this. Louis hoped to taunt Varek into making a big mistake, allowing him his chance to dispense with him and have Indow send him back to Sin or get him arrested by the police. Oddly enough, despite the sudden intrusion that Varek had created, the police were nowhere to be seen. However, Louis didn't give this a second thought at that moment, since his attentions were focused on Varek and all of the things he was trying to do to him.

"Face it, Varek, there's no point to all of this. I'm the guy who beat the Darkness in the first place! What makes you think you're going to be able to beat me? You're swinging like a mad man, but all you're hitting is-"

Varek slammed his fist into Louis' gut. Louis hadn't seen it coming at all. The force of the blow completely knocked the wind out of his lungs and sent pain spiraling up from his stomach. Varek swiped with the sword again, but Louis dodged it... narrowly. The edge of his shirt was split by the blade. However, despite dodging the weapon, Varek was suddenly moving faster than he had been before, allowing him to go up and punch Louis across the face. Louis felt a tooth come loose from the punch as he collapsed to his side, once again barely avoiding a blade that came at his head. He rolled over to the side, but Varek used the opportunity to kick Louis in the back, sending him rolling away and into a brick wall.

"Yes, you killed the Darkness, didn't you?" Varek growled.

Louis got up and fought off the pain that was irritating him. His armor began to form on his body, but it was still far too slow. Varek came up and slammed the hilt of his sword against Louis' forehead, knocking him backwards. Varek slashed across Louis' stomach, this time drawing blood from the Linkara. Louis was dumbfounded by this sudden change of events. How had Varek moved so quickly? A moment ago he was just a big brute force that couldn't swing fast enough to chop at a tree, much less at him. It was then that Louis realized it: Varek had been testing him, seeing how fast he could go before he tried to really assault him.

Seeing the need to take it up a notch, Louis summoned his wings from his back and jumped up to see what he could do from the skies. However, Varek quickly latched his arms around Louis' legs, holding him back from flapping up and out of his range. Varek snarled and pulled a small dagger from his gauntlet, taking the blade and jabbing it into Louis' leg. Louis yelped in pain as Varek dug the weapon into his flesh, not even smiling at this small victory. All Louis could see in his attacker's eyes was pure, unbridled rage. Varek pulled Louis down and threw him by his legs over to a brick wall, smashing his back against it. Louis yelled from the pain that went through his spine as he fell to the ground, his wings melting into his back. Varek slowly walked towards Louis, his blade dragging across the ground.

"This little boy murdered the only thing that ever cared about me, that actually gave me purpose and solace during the times when all hope had been destroyed. How does it feel, boy? How does it feel to be as helpless as my God when you slaughtered him?"

Varek's voice was cold and unsympathetic to Louis, whose breathes were becoming quite pained. He looked up at Varek, blood seeping down from his mouth.

"You really think you're going to defeat me by taunting me, you pasty son of a bitch?" Louis coughed.

"No, I'll defeat you and bring justice for the Darkness like this."

Varek proceeded to kick Louis in the stomach again, causing Louis to spit blood from his mouth as he gasped for air. Varek kicked him twice more, once in the chest and again in the stomach. Louis' armor protected him from the full brunt of the attack on his chest, but his stomach wasn't as protected. Louis tried to focus his armor, to get it fully materialized so that he could better fight off the Dark Knight, but his senses were reeling from the hurting going through him. Seeing that the situation was desperate, he tried to do whatever he could to Varek with what little strength he had left. He jumped up, much to Varek's surprise, and tackled the pale warrior to the ground. He punched Varek across his face twice before Varek managed to grab a hold of Louis' fist and keep it from hitting him. Louis' eyes went wide as he saw that the electrical protection of the gauntlet was obviously sending mystical lightning through Varek's arm, but the Dark Knight just ignored the pain and pushed Louis off of him.

Louis got to his feet again, but was met by Varek, who wrapped his arms around the boy. He grabbed Louis' arms and twisted them behind the Linkara's back, causing him to yelp once more as a new pain was sent through his nervous system.

"You know, I never thought I'd actually be able to hurt you. After all, something so powerful as to destroy the thing I served must have been quite a force to be reckoned with, but you're just a boy. You're a small, weak, fragile little thing whose blood I shall spread across these roads!"

Louis turned his head, grinning despite the pain he felt. "If I'm just a boy, then what does that say about the Darkness?

Louis regretted saying that a moment later. Varek twisted the Linkara's arm so much that the bone snapped. Louis let out a blood-curdling scream as nerves were severed and a little blood seeped from a small cut that Varek's forceful hold had created. The last traces of Louis' arrogant remarks were quickly swallowed by his own throat as he attempted to keep himself together in the face of so much pain. He clenched his teeth as Varek threw him to the ground face-first. He landed on his nose and broken arm, causing his whole body to shudder. He slowly rolled over onto his back as Varek stood over him, blocking the sun as he looked over his vanquished opponent.

“I suppose you’re wondering why the people of earth aren’t scrambling to your rescue, aren’t you, whelp?” Varek said with a sneer.

In truth, Louis wasn’t thinking of anything but how much it hurt to have his arm broken as it was. In his entire life, the worst injury he had ever suffered (besides for being stabbed in the leg once by Indow and engulfed in fire back in Sin’s past) had been some cuts and bruises on his face after he had fallen out of a tree. He had never been stung by a bee, much less have any of his bones broken. He wasn’t quite certain of his senses, all his willpower being devoted to keeping the pain from overwhelming him.

“The Darkness’ great book, the Black Oracle, has taught me much. For example, if one wishes to engage in uninterrupted combat except for a single fight of one person vs. another, he may cast a spell that shifts the two temporarily into a magic domain. One does not even need to have been an adept study of magic to learn it. You presumed the Darkness to be a complete force of evil, but his achievements were far and fantastic, particularly when it came to magic. Many of the spells in the Black Oracle are powerful and deadly, yet most are less than a single magic level in difficulty! This spell, for instance, allows me to return all the pain and suffering you instilled upon the Darkness tenfold!”

Varek brought his hand up the sky where it started to glow with a black aura. Varek was silently chanting a spell as he brought his hand down on Louis’ chest, slamming him once more against the pavement. Louis screamed as he felt as if every muscle in his body was boiling in hot oil, his heart in particular beating so hard that Louis could feel the pumping of blood in his teeth. Varek released Louis from this torment a moment later, bringing his hand away, but then just as quickly bringing it back down on his victim. The pain was more intense the second time and Louis could feel blood beginning to rush from his nose and ears. Varek held the hand there, his face twisted into a scowl. If there was any joy left in him after what the Darkness had transformed him into, it certainly wasn’t evident to Louis, who could only see the anger of one who has lost a loved one.

Varek pulled his hand up from Louis’ chest, the aura fading from it. He reached for his sword and lifted it above Louis’ body, aiming the blade down at his face.

“The Darkness welcomes you to oblivion, Linkara.” Varek spoke, thrusting the blade down against Louis’ face.

The pupils in Louis’ eyes shrunk as he saw the black tip of the sword rush at him, wondering if this was indeed the end for him. However, like ancient Greek tales of the Gods coming to the rescue of a performance’s characters, Louis was delivered from his fate by a force from on high.

A burst of fire slammed against Varek’s blade, the impact deflecting it and sending it just to the side of Louis’ head. Varek quickly snapped his attention up into the sky where Indow Chyprea floated, her eyes glowing red along with her hands. She glared at the Dark Knight and gritted her teeth. She raised her hands up, winds blowing around her and making her elegant dress flutter as she launched a burst of magical fire down at Louis’ attacker. It collided into Varek’s chest, pushing him away from Louis and against the brick wall.

Indow descended towards the two, another fireball already forming between her hands. As she spoke, her voice echoed throughout the silent pocket of magic energy, charged with a commanding tone that would’ve made brave men fall to their knees and weep if they ever had to face such a woman:

“You shall get away from my love or I shall burn your flesh to the point that it is as black as your armor.”

Varek hesitated for a moment. At first, he considered facing the woman and slaying her before he finally rid himself of the Linkara, but then he realized as he saw Indow commanding her Fireballs with such intensity and power that his own inexperience with the magicks of the Darkness were too insignificant to confront such a foe... just yet. He ran from the two, his form vanishing from the magic domain as swiftly as he had originally entered it. Indow landed alongside Louis, who merely laid upon the ground, tears flowing from his eyes and mixing with his blood as he sobbed openly from his pain. He slowly looked to Indow, who took him in her arms and wept alongside him, horrified to see him in his state of total defeat.
Next Time: The "Comfort" portion of this "Hurt/Comfort" fanfic, I presume.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Tue Jun 10, 2025 10:48 pm

10/10. Best chapter.
RiffingShow
Indow and Louis were too much in shock to react to what they saw. As such, Varek had the first move.
Of course it's the battle-hardened warriors going Surprised Pikachu at seeing a second stranger from Sin in a matter of what, 1-2 days?
Not that it matters, seeing how Linkara's armor is perfectly capable of defending itself on its own.
He immediately leapt across the room, his agility further surprising the assembled group.
According to last chapter he's like ten feet away, which wouldn't even be the world record for a standing long jump.
Though I think he probably did some higher jump with a somersault or two because that looks cooler. Just hope the ceiling is high enough for that stunt.
He unsheathed his sword in mid-air and swung down at Louis as he came down.
Oh shit, it's a Helm Breaker!
Louis, finally acting in response to what was happening, stood up from his seat and raised his gauntlet up to block the attack. As soon as Varek’s sword touched his armor, Louis quickly became aware of the fact that everyone else in the food court had disappeared at once, leaving only him and his attacker.
Image

Really? Is that gonna be a thing now? Fights on Earth are gonna take place in some pocket dimension, or their bodies are vibrating at a different motion to the rest of Earth?
I assume the reasoning behind is so Linkara (the author) can write dumb animu duels without having to worry about bystanders, the proper authorities becoming aware of these shenanigans, and the Lightbringer comic having to comment on events from this book.
But who did this, exactly? If this is a feature of Linkara's armor, why is it happening now and not earlier (like say when his Band of the Linkster got roflstomped by that Shadow Nazgul)?
I guess it was Varek, though. This effectively takes Indow out of the picture, so it makes some kind of sense.
Electrical sparks flew out of the spot that Varek’s sword touched, the armor’s defense system working as well as it always had.
Except, of course, when Linkara's been taken out by date rape drugs. Nothing the armor could do about that.
Louis quickly gave the command to it to form up his other gauntlet, swinging his arm at Varek’s face as he did so. By the time it reached the Destroyer’s face, his metal-encased fist slammed against Varek’s exposed cheek and sent him flying across the room.
I see Varek stays true to his fighting performance from last book.
Louis took the moment he had to look around, thinking for a moment as if everyone else had simply ducked out of the way because of what had happened.
Sure. The people of Hillside have taken Duck & Cover to a whole new level :roll:
However, it was quite evident that everyone had just spontaneously vanished, including other patrons, mall walkers, and the cashiers at the counters.
Oh no, not the cashiers!

(Will this ever get explained, I wonder? Probably some variant of this phase-shifting invisiblity spell, though it's weird how this only shows up now.)
Varek got up once again and Louis realized he needed more room to fight in than the cramped floor space of a food court. He ran out the doorway, Varek quickly giving pursuit.
Why? You have your fists and short arm blades, he has a big-ass sword he needs to swing around. You're doing him a favor by moving to a more spacious location.
Since the food court was on the second level of the mall, Louis jumped up over the glass that guarded those walking along the edge of the second level from falling over and let the rest of his armor take shape. The back and the wings came out first so he could fly while the rest of his armor followed suit.
How long does his henshin sequence even last, that it becomes important in which order the individual suit parts form?
Louis spun himself around as his wings flapped, stabilizing him so he was hovering high above the ground.
Ever noticed how easy it always is for winged dudes to hover in place? I know it happens to save up on animation, but it's weird if you've ever seen a bird that's not a hummingbird try that.
I assume he's just sorta floating in the air, with the wings not actually moving. Just like in all those cartoons who have to save up on animation budget all the time.
Varek came after him only a second later, surprising Louis by the fact that he could fly, as well.
Oh, so that's why you wanted more space. You thought you'd be safe in the air. That didn't even register with me because it would make for a very dull duel :lol:
He figured that his attacker was undoubtedly a magic user, which frightened him a little.
Considering you've never fought an enemy spellcaster alone, and all your previous encounters with them relied entirely around Indow being able to take care of them, I'd be more than a little frightened.
The tenacity of the Dark Knight before him was quite different than the standard fare Louis had been used to back on Sin.
How so? Your previous Dark Knight opponents just kept charging you until you killed them. How is this guy different?
Questions raced through his mind as he blocked or evaded more sword swipes from the caped knight.

Who is this guy? He asked himself. How did he get to Earth? Why is he so intent on killing me? Weren’t the Dark Knights on Sin happy now?
Those seem like sensible thoughts for this situation, buuuuut...
  • You already know from Thesia that it is well within the realm of possibilit for Sinnians to end up on Earth for seemingly now reason.
  • He's an evil Dark Knight. Of course he's trying to kill you. That was their whole deal in Book 1.
  • If you had actually paid attention to Raven's paranoia, you'd know that Myrrha is still at large, and that there's this guy called "Varek" as well.
I also wonder how Varek was able to track him down and identify him. I guess the magicks told him.
Louis pushed aside the questions as the tip of Varek’s blade struck his armor. While it still produced an electrical shock, Louis felt the impact through his armor, much to his continued surprise.
OMG, he can feel it when someone tries to stab him. The stakes have never been higher.
He figured that the assailant was attacking him with very powerful blows and he needed to strike back as soon as he could.
His STR bonus mustbe at least +4!
The blades from his gauntlets quickly emerged and he rushed forward with both, hoping the sudden attack would catch the knight by surprise.
You know what would've been a great moment to snikt out your arm blades? When you punched the guy in the face.
Varek yelped in pain as one of the blades pierced his armor just enough to stab an inch into him.
What's stopping it from penetrating any deeper? The armor obviously doesn't seem to be doing much.
However, he fought back by slamming his elbow against Louis’ face, sending him spiraling backwards and away. Louis shook his face to clear it and he flew up, ordering his armor to protect his head as he crashed through the glass ceiling of the mall. Varek growled and flew up, following after him.
Dude, is your fucking armor complete already, or are you still missing parts?

*
In the blink of an eye, Louis and Varek had disappeared. The group looked from Louis’ chair to the spot where they had seen the Dark Knight and they saw nothing there.
Did the other customers react to all of this nonsense, or have they stopped existing once again?
I mean, you had like some black knight dude do some acrobatics number, and then he and some kid just disappeared. People have panicked for less.
Indow rose up from her chair and closed her eyes. The others followed suit with standing up, but didn’t know what Indow was up to. The Anako priestess’ body began to glow a bright yellow, so the others moved in closer to her, hoping to hide her sudden illumination from the rest of the populace.
I'm pretty sure everyone's eyes are on you already, so good luck with that.
Also nice to warn your new friends, Indow.
After a few more seconds of glowing, Indow opened her eyes and winced, the light from her body vanishing.
Just wanted to note that this is this book's first wince.
“Louis is still here, tethered to this plane.” She proclaimed.
That doesn't explain much of anything, but good for him, I guess.
“What are you talking about? Who was that guy and what happened to him and Louis?!” Ted demanded to know.

“I’m not entirely certain...” Indow replied as she ran outside of the food court.
You used to be a lot more useful in previous books, Indow.
And I know they have been assholes to you, but would it kill you tell Linkara's buddies what you're planning to do?
The other four ran after her as she continually looked from one direction to the next, her eyes shutting for a moment before she came to the glass wall over the edge of the floor, holding her hands to the railing. Her eyes shifted around under her eyelids as she focused herself, trying to trace magical patterns and residual energies. She looked up at the skylight and opened her eyes, wincing. Indow quickly turned around to face the others, leaning back against the wall.

“We must return to Louis’ home! I may need some assistance!” she proclaimed.
Are you gonna explain shit eventually?
Alice reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. “Who needs to go all the way back there...”
I take it that catgirl telepathy doesn't have a far reach.

*
Thesia kept her eyes focused on the chess board in front of her, her hands entwined as she examined her available pieces and the moves she could make with them. White Raven sat across from her at the table...
This is getting very Game Overthinker finale in here.
... while John Williamson sat between them, looking almost bored silly from the lack of playing occurring between the opponents.
Read a book, mate. The fuck are you even doing here?
After another several seconds of waiting for Thesia to make a move, he opened his mouth, ready to give her a suggestion for a move, but before a sound could be uttered from his lips, Thesia’s hand snapped up and a finger went vertically across John’s lips, keeping him silent.
It's funny 'cause the women are thinking.
Thesia reached out and moved one of her pawns a space forward. John sighed and leaned back in his chair, shaking his head.
This is the most exciting chess match in all of fiction.
Erica smiled as she worked on making a pot pie for herself for lunch.
Add that to the list of random character side-activities.
“You know, this game would be over by now if you had agreed to time it like I said you should.” He stated.

“Thesia is still a newcomer to chess. I do not wish to let her try to make her moves on a timed basis when she has not yet properly absorbed the rules of the game.” White Raven responded as she moved a piece of her own.

“She’s beaten you three times now. I don’t think she’s that much of a beginner.” John responded.
Isn't Raven supposed to be one of the smarter ones of this team?
Lord of the Rings or Tarnsman of Gor?” Lithmenar asked from the living room.
I know which one was more inspirational for Linkara (the author)...
Image
“What?” Erica inquired, looking up from the kitchen and into the living room, which were adjoined with the dining room between them
So all the rooms are basically one big area. Got it.
Lithmenar called back, “Louis recommended that I use his laptop and download an e-book to read through to get a better understanding of how earth views so-called ‘fantasy’ worlds like Sin."
"Here's a laptop. Now go buy or torrent a fantasy e-book or something. I don't give a fuck."
Image

Couldn't Linkara have made this part of his personalized curriculum?
While it took me a bit of time to understand how to use this curious device, my general searching has come up with several recommendations for both and I frankly don’t feel like trying to read two books, so which should I choose – Lords of the Rings or Tarnsman of Gor?”
What kind of research have you been doing that LotR and and Tarnsman of Fucking Gor are the two most widely recommended books? And if he's too lazy to read two books, shouldn't he have ditched LotR by virtue of it being three books?

This is all just a setup to shit on a Gor novel, isn't it? This is about the same kind of low bar as the fucking Twilight series.
“Neither in my humble opinion.” John mumbled from the table as he continued to watch the chess game slowly unfold.
Oh ho ho. Are we gonna shit on Tolkien too or something?
“You’re not going to get either!” Erica called as she stomped over to the living room. “We have the DVDs to the Lord of the Rings movies and you can watch those if you want."
"Don't worry with those antiquated books. We already have the movies!"
Image

Now admittedly that trilogy is the only decent adaptation we're ever gonna get, but that's a very weird stance - especially for an "intellectual" family owning multiple books on fucking philosophy.
"And if I see anything related to Gor or John Norman in this house, digital or print, whatever it’s being viewed on I’m going to set fire to!”
Do you think Linkara (the author) is trying to make amends for all the rape in Angel Armor by shitting on one of the most notorious series of fantasy rape fiction?
Lithmenar blinked and raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Why the disliking of the books? According to what I’ve read, it’s a fascinating philosophical read and I could be able to understand the plot thanks to the ‘fantasy’ setting.”
Gor made it into the finale of your quest for a fantasy book to read, and you never so much as raised an eyebrow at the literal BDSM cult the series has spawned?
And shouldn't your "plot understanding" be based on the time period, not the genre? I'd imagine shit like Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal or Clash of the Titans being very confusing to you.
“Lithmenar, that ‘philosophical read’ is nothing but a misogynistic handbook."
Next you're telling me that Mein Kampf is a little bit based fascist.
" There have been philosophers in the world who I have disagreed with..."
Duh. It'd be weird if you did agree with everyone. The Greek philosophers alone have plenty of incompatibilities between them.
Also there's just weird shit. Like did you know that Pythagoras didn't believe in decimal numbers?

It's also starting to grind my gears that everyone and their mother (literally, in this case) is yapping on and on about "philosphy" like it's the hottest fad in town, but we never actually hear anyone saying anything remotely philosophical. I'm starting to suspect that Linkara (the author) doesn't actually know what he's talking about.
And no, Book 3's "Optimism means to always smile like retard!" doesn't count.
"... there have been liberal writers who I wanted to have jailed and imprisoned for the kind of garbage they peddle out..."
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Care to elaborate Miss Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS?
"... and there has been more than one occasion when I’ve wanted to just shoot myself instead of listen to an idiotic speaker talk..."
Image
"... but John Norman... John Norman is heralded in some circles as a fucking philosophical liberator for that crap he wrote."
"Some circles"? You mean his fanbase?
"He believes that women are the ‘submissive natural helper’ and, figuratively speaking, then, the slaves of men. His books have women delighted and elated that suddenly they’re wearing chains and collars and BDSM crap."
He has written fictional stories about this. That doesn't mean he actively believes this. You should know the difference.

(It took me less than 5 minutes to find out that Mr. Norman has no active involvement in the weird-ass BDSM cult that has sprung around his book series.)
“Lithmenar, I’m not a feminist. I believe that men and women are very different and that more usually than not, men are better at something than women are and women are better at something that men are."
Gender is a spectrum, you TERF.
"But the presumption of some science fiction writer to fucking tell me that I’m supposed to be submissive to men in order to be happy? Not on your life."
Image

You are aware of the concept of fiction, right?
"On top of that, people actually live their lives according to this guy, surrendering their freedom to live a 24/7 life of servitude to a master."
Stop kink-shaming.
And as I've just said, the dude has nothing to do with this. You might as well claim that Hasbro created the brony community on purpose.
"It sickens me to think that anyone would ever willingly give up their freedom. It just sickens me.” Erica said, shaking her head and going back to her pot pie.
You are aware of the concept of erotic roleplay, right?
Lithmenar blinked. “So, Lord of the Rings, then?”
"Don't even get me started on Tolkien!"
“People on this planet really like to give speeches on ethics.” White Raven stated as she moved one of her rooks in close, hoping to make a checkmate in a few moves.
Nah, that's just this batshit insane family.
Before anyone else could speak, the phone rang. John got up from his seat and answered it, a confused look on his face as he heard Indow on the other line.

“Varek the who?” he asked.
"Varek the who?"
"Who."
"Varek the who."
"Who."
"Varek, the who."
"WHO!"
"VAREK THE WHO!"
Thesia couldn’t have gotten up to her feet faster. She swept her body around, her eyes wide. The sudden movement had her scrape against the table, bumping it hard enough to move all the pieces remaining on the board over by a few inches.

“What did you say?!” she yelled.
I'm surprised Raven doesn't seem to give a fuck, considering she's filed Varek under "Even more dangerous than Myrrha (for some reason)".

*
"Varek the Destroyer, isn't it? I never really met you after I decked your 'Queen,'" Louis said with a grin.
"I did before, though."
It had taken Louis a bit of time to finally recognize his attacker.
He's like the only male Dark Knight with a name, so the process of elimination should be quite short.
After returning from Sin’s past, the rest of his group had given him the full, detailed explanation of the takeover by the Dark Knights in Soyah and what Dark Knights were still at large after Myrrha had been dethroned from her position as Queen of the Eclipsed Legion.
According to Myrrha and Varek, the only Dark Knights "still at large" are Myrrha and Varek.
They had shown him a visage of Varek in case they ran into him on their way back to the church and Louis had finally remembered the face of one of the most sworn and loyal servants of the Darkness.
Who the fuck keeps drawing these hyper-realistic wanted posters? Have you seen what medieval art looks like?
And didn't you just say moments ago that you thought all Dark Knights are happy now?
Figuring that he could catch his opponent off guard, he decided to taunt Varek, let him make a mistake while he planned his moves.
I'm sure nothing bad has ever come out of pissing off a spellcaster.
After fleeing from the mall, they had flown closer to a small collection of stores along the road and gone down into a fairly wide alleyway, where Louis withdrew his armor in order to lull Varek into a false sense of security.
That doesn't look like a trap at all.
Varek didn't answer Louis’ question.
Image
Instead, he charged again at his nemesis, slicing his sword horizontally.
Standard Dark Knight protocol, I see.
He can say goodbye to his balls.
Louis laughed and leapt up using his enhanced agility, making Varek's swipe hit nothing but air. Louis flipped once in the air and landed gracefully again, his arms outstretched to maintain his balance.
Image
Varek twisted around and did another slash with his sword, but Louis nimbly went backwards, making the shot miss again. Louis chuckled and crossed his arms, rolling his eyes as he stared at the Dark Knight before him.
Are you Peter Pan now?
I guess you want to psyche him out, but just evading shit without retaliating will just keep the initiative on Varek's side.
"I give you credit for following me this far, Varek. I'm not sure how you did it, but you followed me all the way to my home planet just so you could get revenge for your fallen master." Louis stated as Varek continually swiped at Louis' lithe form.
Thanks for this amazing banter, Captain Obvious.
Each attempt at Louis' life was countered and avoided, but Varek wasn't showing any sign of irritation from this.
It's almost like this isn't working or something.
Louis hoped to taunt Varek into making a big mistake, allowing him his chance to dispense with him and have Indow send him back to Sin or get him arrested by the police.
I assume you guys will go with "Let's make him Sin's problem again", because man would the cops make shit awkward for everyone involved.
Oddly enough, despite the sudden intrusion that Varek had created, the police were nowhere to be seen.
I thought you noticed that everyone except you two are gone?
However, Louis didn't give this a second thought at that moment, since his attentions were focused on Varek and all of the things he was trying to do to him.
Kick him in the balls?
"Face it, Varek, there's no point to all of this. I'm the guy who beat the Darkness in the first place! What makes you think you're going to be able to beat me? You're swinging like a mad man, but all you're hitting is-"

Varek slammed his fist into Louis' gut. Louis hadn't seen it coming at all. The force of the blow completely knocked the wind out of his lungs and sent pain spiraling up from his stomach.
Image
Varek swiped with the sword again, but Louis dodged it... narrowly. The edge of his shirt was split by the blade.
RIP shirt.
However, despite dodging the weapon, Varek was suddenly moving faster than he had been before, allowing him to go up and punch Louis across the face.
Image

This is almost like back in Book 1 kept being smug despite having get bailed out by surprise allies all the fucking time.
Louis felt a tooth come loose from the punch as he collapsed to his side, once again barely avoiding a blade that came at his head. He rolled over to the side, but Varek used the opportunity to kick Louis in the back, sending him rolling away and into a brick wall.
This is easily my favorite fight scene in the entire series so far.
"Yes, you killed the Darkness, didn't you?" Varek growled.
Thanks for the banter, Captain Dark Obvious.
Louis got up and fought off the pain that was irritating him. His armor began to form on his body, but it was still far too slow.
LMAO nigga, how long does this henshin take?!
Varek came up and slammed the hilt of his sword against Louis' forehead, knocking him backwards. Varek slashed across Louis' stomach, this time drawing blood from the Linkara.
Image
Louis was dumbfounded by this sudden change of events. How had Varek moved so quickly? A moment ago he was just a big brute force that couldn't swing fast enough to chop at a tree, much less at him.
It's like he was only pretending to be a big brute. And he didn't even have to take his fucking armor off for that trick.
It was then that Louis realized it: Varek had been testing him, seeing how fast he could go before he tried to really assault him.
Image

I dunno what's worse: That Linkara never considered an opponent not showing his entire hand at the start of the fight, or that Varek is apparently his first opponent to do so.
Seeing the need to take it up a notch, Louis summoned his wings from his back and jumped up to see what he could do from the skies.
JFC, just henshin everything on at once.
However, Varek quickly latched his arms around Louis' legs, holding him back from flapping up and out of his range.
Did he just forget that he can also fly?
Varek snarled and pulled a small dagger from his gauntlet, taking the blade and jabbing it into Louis' leg.
That's an odd location to store a dagger.
Louis yelped in pain as Varek dug the weapon into his flesh, not even smiling at this small victory.
The Smile Counter has increased (17 -> 18)

What a blast from the past.
All Louis could see in his attacker's eyes was pure, unbridled rage.
Image
Varek pulled Louis down and threw him by his legs over to a brick wall, smashing his back against it. Louis yelled from the pain that went through his spine as he fell to the ground, his wings melting into his back. Varek slowly walked towards Louis, his blade dragging across the ground.
You're just ruining your sword tip, mate.
"This little boy murdered the only thing that ever cared about me, that actually gave me purpose and solace during the times when all hope had been destroyed. How does it feel, boy? How does it feel to be as helpless as my God when you slaughtered him?"
I dunno if it had much time to feel helpless, seeing how it got one-shotted.
"You really think you're going to defeat me by taunting me, you pasty son of a bitch?" Louis coughed.
No, he's gonna defeat you by continuing to kick your ass.
Varek proceeded to kick Louis in the stomach again, causing Louis to spit blood from his mouth as he gasped for air.
Image
Varek kicked him twice more, once in the chest and again in the stomach. Louis' armor protected him from the full brunt of the attack on his chest, but his stomach wasn't as protected.
What kind of weird-ass armor are you wearing, exactly?
Louis tried to focus his armor, to get it fully materialized so that he could better fight off the Dark Knight, but his senses were reeling from the hurting going through him.
Motherfucker you're still not done henshining?!
Seeing that the situation was desperate, he tried to do whatever he could to Varek with what little strength he had left. He jumped up, much to Varek's surprise, and tackled the pale warrior to the ground.
Jumping: Works every time.
He punched Varek across his face twice before Varek managed to grab a hold of Louis' fist and keep it from hitting him. Louis' eyes went wide as he saw that the electrical protection of the gauntlet was obviously sending mystical lightning through Varek's arm, but the Dark Knight just ignored the pain and pushed Louis off of him.
How do you get around your MC's invincible defense mechanism if the plot calls for him to lose? Just have the bad guy no-sell it!
Louis got to his feet again, but was met by Varek, who wrapped his arms around the boy.
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He grabbed Louis' arms and twisted them behind the Linkara's back, causing him to yelp once more as a new pain was sent through his nervous system.
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"You know, I never thought I'd actually be able to hurt you. After all, something so powerful as to destroy the thing I served must have been quite a force to be reckoned with, but you're just a boy. You're a small, weak, fragile little thing whose blood I shall spread across these roads!"
TBF Linkara's doing one hell of an amateur hour at the moment.
Also title drop for the first book, for some reason.
Louis turned his head, grinning despite the pain he felt. "If I'm just a boy, then what does that say about the Darkness?

Louis regretted saying that a moment later. Varek twisted the Linkara's arm so much that the bone snapped.
Image
Louis let out a blood-curdling scream as nerves were severed and a little blood seeped from a small cut that Varek's forceful hold had created. The last traces of Louis' arrogant remarks were quickly swallowed by his own throat as he attempted to keep himself together in the face of so much pain.
Image
He clenched his teeth as Varek threw him to the ground face-first. He landed on his nose and broken arm, causing his whole body to shudder. He slowly rolled over onto his back as Varek stood over him, blocking the sun as he looked over his vanquished opponent.

“I suppose you’re wondering why the people of earth aren’t scrambling to your rescue, aren’t you, whelp?” Varek said with a sneer.
If you were worried about that you could've saved yourself this whole phase shift spell.
In truth, Louis wasn’t thinking of anything but how much it hurt to have his arm broken as it was.
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In his entire life, the worst injury he had ever suffered (besides for being stabbed in the leg once by Indow and engulfed in fire back in Sin’s past) had been some cuts and bruises on his face after he had fallen out of a tree. He had never been stung by a bee, much less have any of his bones broken. He wasn’t quite certain of his senses, all his willpower being devoted to keeping the pain from overwhelming him.
Have you forgotten that one time an orc beat the shit out of you?
Also you got captured like at least four times by Dark Knights. At least one of them ought to have at least punched you in the face.
“The Darkness’ great book, the Black Oracle, has taught me much. For example, if one wishes to engage in uninterrupted combat except for a single fight of one person vs. another, he may cast a spell that shifts the two temporarily into a magic domain."
It's a pretty lame magic domain if it just looks like the regular area, tbh.
"One does not even need to have been an adept study of magic to learn it."
You'd think the Darkness would've taught more people this spell. Would've been amazing for assassins, for starters.
"You presumed the Darkness to be a complete force of evil, but his achievements were far and fantastic, particularly when it came to magic."
Bad guys can do magic too, bigot.
"Many of the spells in the Black Oracle are powerful and deadly, yet most are less than a single magic level in difficulty! This spell, for instance, allows me to return all the pain and suffering you instilled upon the Darkness tenfold!”
And he kept all of them locked in his book instead of using them to actually win this war because...?
Varek brought his hand up the sky where it started to glow with a black aura.
Black doesn't glow.
Varek was silently chanting a spell as he brought his hand down on Louis’ chest, slamming him once more against the pavement.
It's not exactly chanting when it's silent.
Louis screamed as he felt as if every muscle in his body was boiling in hot oil, his heart in particular beating so hard that Louis could feel the pumping of blood in his teeth.
Image
Varek released Louis from this torment a moment later, bringing his hand away, but then just as quickly bringing it back down on his victim. The pain was more intense the second time and Louis could feel blood beginning to rush from his nose and ears.
Image
Varek held the hand there, his face twisted into a scowl. If there was any joy left in him after what the Darkness had transformed him into, it certainly wasn’t evident to Louis, who could only see the anger of one who has lost a loved one.
The Smile Counter has increased (18 -> 19)

Motherfucker.
Varek pulled his hand up from Louis’ chest, the aura fading from it. He reached for his sword and lifted it above Louis’ body, aiming the blade down at his face.

“The Darkness welcomes you to oblivion, Linkara.” Varek spoke, thrusting the blade down against Louis’ face.
Time for someone to bail him out I assume.
The pupils in Louis’ eyes shrunk as he saw the black tip of the sword rush at him, wondering if this was indeed the end for him. However, like ancient Greek tales of the Gods coming to the rescue of a performance’s characters, Louis was delivered from his fate by a force from on high.
Sure. You invent shit like the "Kassandra Conflict", but you don't know that this is called a Deus Ex Machina?
A burst of fire slammed against Varek’s blade, the impact deflecting it and sending it just to the side of Louis’ head. Varek quickly snapped his attention up into the sky where Indow Chyprea floated, her eyes glowing red along with her hands.
Hey, look. Indow's gonna save the day. Again.
She glared at the Dark Knight and gritted her teeth. She raised her hands up, winds blowing around her and making her elegant dress flutter as she launched a burst of magical fire down at Louis’ attacker. It collided into Varek’s chest, pushing him away from Louis and against the brick wall.
Image

I may have gotten distracted by the "elegant dress".
Indow descended towards the two, another fireball already forming between her hands. As she spoke, her voice echoed throughout the silent pocket of magic energy, charged with a commanding tone that would’ve made brave men fall to their knees and weep if they ever had to face such a woman:
Are you a Bene Gesserit or something?
“You shall get away from my love or I shall burn your flesh to the point that it is as black as your armor.”
That's not nearly as badass as you made it out to be.
Varek hesitated for a moment. At first, he considered facing the woman and slaying her before he finally rid himself of the Linkara, but then he realized as he saw Indow commanding her Fireballs with such intensity and power that his own inexperience with the magicks of the Darkness were too insignificant to confront such a foe... just yet.
Pussy.
And aren't those the same kind of fireballs that other Dark Knights could harmlessly cut in half with their swords?
He ran from the two, his form vanishing from the magic domain as swiftly as he had originally entered it. Indow landed alongside Louis, who merely laid upon the ground, tears flowing from his eyes and mixing with his blood as he sobbed openly from his pain. He slowly looked to Indow, who took him in her arms and wept alongside him, horrified to see him in his state of total defeat.
Image

Not impressed.
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sat Jun 14, 2025 7:41 pm

Book 4, Chapter 6 - the Dark Things That Hurt Me
(Or: Bring on the Dark)


Image

Linkara got what he fucking deserves. We all had our fun, but just how big of a pity party will we have to endure now?

And since it got brought up twice in last chapter, I felt the need to resurrect the Smile Counter. Let's hope this gravy train keeps on going.

"Baddies Never Smile" Count: 19
And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.
RecapShow
Me: Turns off armor to fool enemy, and showboat for good measure.
Enemy: *Was only pretending to be slow*
Me:
Image

The grand duel between Linkara and Varek rages on, and leads both of them outside of the mall into some alley. Linkara pulls a 4D chess move to lure Varek into a false sense of security, but it turns out that Varek is playing 5D chess and has lured Linkara into a false sense of security this whole time :o.
Long story short, Linkara gets an excellent beating the likes of which he hasn't experienced since he pissed off that one orc way back in Book 1 (an event he strangely enough didn't bring up when reminiscing about the most grievous injuries he has suffered before).
Sadly the epic curbstomp is interrupted when Indow busts into what is now confirmed to be some kind of pocket dimension created by Varek. She shoos him away using a fireball or two (which is kinda weird considering fireballs have always been her most useless attack spell, but whatever), and I'm sure this will all be followed up with Linkara bitching and moaning in this chapter, as he is contractually obligated to do at least once per book.

As hilarious it is to see Linkara get his just desserts for once, the quality writing kinda ruins it a bit. First of he just kinda decides to showboat and flaunt his martial superiority, even though the entire fight up to that point appeared to have them be evenly matched.
It's also probably not a good idea to turn off your nearly invincible suit of super-armor as part of your ruse when the full henshin sequence for the damn thing has more individual stages than all of the Sailor Senshi's combined - plus they have to happen in real-time.
Really, he seems to have primarily lost because he's a dumbass, not because Varek was "better".
We also get an explanation as to why Varek can now kick all kinds of asses: It turns out that the Darkness' Ultimate Book of Ultimate Evil contains a new generation of super spells that are extremely cost-effective, yet so easy to cast that even a complete n00b like Varek can pull them off.
Now you might be wondering why the Darkness never taught these amazing spells to his followers when he still had the time, and the answer is fuck you.
There's also a weird bit where he's at first confused how there's still an evil Dark Knight left, and then he remembers that he has in fact been educated about the remaining evil Dark Knights (all two of them) - complete with one of those photo-realistic pictures the people of Sin can just mass-produce.

And throughout all of this we are reminded just how much Varek is not smiling. Talk about a blast from he past.

Meanwhile, the losers over at the Williamson Manor are blessing us with the world's slowest game of actual chess, and Lithmenar finds himself pondering a question which no doubt everyone has had when they first set foot into the wild world of fantasy literature: Should I start with Lord of the Rings or a fucking Gor novel?
Of course, this is all a heavily constructed setup for Linkara (the author) to use his self-insert's mom as a mouthpiece to lay the smackdown on the Gor series - and not only does he complete and utterly miss the point, he also shows a shocking lack of being able to differentiate between fiction and reality. Him not understanding BDSM is just the icing on the cake.
Oh, and also his mom wants to imprison certain "liberal writers", and becomes suicidal when she hears dumb shit, which makes me wonder how she managed to survive this long.
ChapterShow
“How is he?” White Raven asked as Indow reentered the kitchen.

After Indow had called Louis’ house and explained the situation, White Raven was able to talk her through how to shift into the magical domain and get to Varek and Louis. It had taken quite a while, though, due to White Raven only understanding a little of it, herself, and Indow since the possibility of shifting like that existed purely to her as magic theory, one of several thousand discussed in her books. On White Raven’s part, she only knew of it thanks to having spent time with some of the few remaining Dark Sorcerers while she had been in Soyah.

Upon shifting herself into the sub-dimension, it took Indow a few minutes to try to locate Varek and Louis. When she followed, she saw that Varek was about to kill Louis and managed to scare off the Dark Knight. Following that, she shifted them back into their normal plane of existence and flew Louis back to his home, trying to heal him along the way. Sadly, trying to heal him while also flying took out too much of her own energy and she collapsed near a county road. Using street signs and Alice’s phone, she managed to call Louis’ home and got them to pick them up. Louis had lost consciousness and while his parents initially insisted they take him to a doctor, Indow convinced them he’d be fine and was just exhausted from the battle.

After arriving back at his home, she remained alone with him for fifteen minutes before coming out.

“I’ve healed all the damage, including the broken arm, but he’s still pretty shaken up. He woke up about two minutes ago after I finished up with the deep cuts. He’s still pretty tired, so I recommend we leave him alone for now.” She stated.

Indow looked over to the table, where Thesia sat, her body glowing a bright green. She raised an eyebrow and approached her, but did nothing to interfere with what she was doing. After a few more seconds, Thesia sighed, opened her eyes, and the glow from her body disappeared.

“Any luck on your end?” Jordahn queried.

Thesia shook her head. “Nothing. Either he has found a way to shroud himself from my own magicks or something on this world scatters the search.”

“What were you doing?” Indow asked.

Thesia smirked and leaned back in her chair. “Hunting for an old friend.”

“What?” Indow exclaimed.

“Thesia apparently used to be partners with Varek.” Lithmenar said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

“WHAT?!” Indow yelled.

Thesia smiled and looked over at Indow. “Just another thing to add to your list of things you disapprove of me, Priestess. Yes, I used to work with that animal. Remember when I spoke of trying to resurrect Gritsnak? Well, the good Destroyer had already been on the project long before I worked for the Darkness. The Darkness partnered me up with him to help facilitate matters and keep me protected while I completed the spells. However, I had my own ambitions for Gritsnak. After the group that had been following us defeated them, Varek attempted to fight me and get revenge. However, it was at that moment that your hero upstairs defeated the Darkness and Varek became paralyzed by the sudden loss of his God.”

“Who is this Varek guy, anyway? And why did he come after my son?” Erica wanted to know.

“Varek the Destroyer is one of the most infamous Dark Knights from Sin. Nothing is known about his origins, but it could be said that he was the most faithful and loyal servant of the Darkness. He never questioned, never demanded explanation, never believed the Darkness was anything but the purest good and a divine entity. Even after the Darkness had died and Myrrha took command of the Dark Knights, he remained solely committed to the religion of the Darkness. He disappeared after Louis dealt with Myrrha and now it seems we know where he went. Evidently he wants revenge for what Louis did to the Darkness.” White Raven explained.

“But how did he get here? It took us months to find the spell to Earth and even then it required very specific materials for the task.” Lithmenar pointed out.

“It doesn’t matter how he did it; it’s done. The question is what we’re going to do about it?” George brought up.

“You will do nothing. The same goes for you, John and Erica. I hate to say it, but none of you have the combat experience necessary to defeat someone like Varek.” Jordahn said.

“You mean none of us are capable of killing people like Louis.” George said angrily, crossing his arms.

“What are you talking about?!” John asked his oldest son.

George replied, “The thing that Louis left out about his little adventures is that he killed people. Dark Knights, the Arbiter guys, other-”

“The Dark Knights hardly count! He fought soulless abominations as a soldier of war!” Indow interrupted.

Ahem.” White Raven said, narrowing her eyes at Indow as she sat at the table.

Indow rolled her eyes. “I meant they were like that while under the influence of the Darkness.”

“Louis is 14 years old! He’s just a kid, not a soldier!” Erica yelled.

“He needed to be a warrior where he was. When he was in Kien battling the Terafell Arbiters, the only way to defeat them was by killing your enemies. And even then, the Arbiters count even less than the Dark Knights by no stretch of the imagination. They are- were honorless, mindless legions bent on only conquest and enforcement of their own ideology.” Jordahn rebuffed.

“He should never have been put into that position to begin with! Children don’t fight wars-” John said.

“On Sin they do. Military service is grantable to anyone at the age of 12 and up.” Indow replied.

“In Kien it’s a requirement that all citizens serve at least some time as military personnel.” Jordahn stated further.

“Yeah, well this ain’t Sin or Kien!” George yelled back at her.

“A fact I am constantly having to be reminded of!” White Raven shouted.

“Excuse me?”

The group all stopped when they looked over at the doorway into the kitchen. Louis stood in the entrance, looking tired as he stood before them all. Everyone quickly ended their discussion as Louis turned to Indow.

“Where are the others?” he queried.

“I had them go back to their homes. I said I’d call them and let them know of what happened with you.” Indow answered.

Louis nodded. “Good. If you need me, I’ll be out back.”

With that, he walked over to the front door and stepped out, making his way towards the back yard. The assembled group of Louis’ friends and family exchanged glances. Indow started walking towards the door, intent on following Louis out and seeing if he was okay, but Thesia reached out and touched her shoulder to stop her.

“No, not you. If he’s in pain, he won’t speak to someone he knows for fear of having himself appear weak. I’ll go.” She said, quickly going towards the door, herself.

*

Louis stood in his back yard and looked down at a fairly large rock that had somehow found its way there. He postulated that it had been thrown there from a flower garden of a neighbor or other decorative display that featured rocks. He simply looked down at it as Thesia approached, still wearing the same armor she had worn when she had first arrived, although sans the helmet and the gloves.

“Louis?” she called to him.

If he noticed she was there, he made no indication that he showed it. Thesia stepped up closer.

“How are you feeling?”

Louis took a step forward and descended himself down by his knees enough so he could slam his gauntlet-covered right fist into the rock. As soon as it hit, the rock cracked and exploded out into powder and smaller pieces, Louis’ hand continuing on to hit the grass beneath it. Thesia jumped back a little and gasped at this, not expecting the maneuver. Louis remained where he was as he closed his eyes.

He spoke softly: “With this gauntlet, I can crush a rock with my fist. The others were so impressed by it and I loved it. I can smash through a building, I can fly through the air, and I can defeat big blobs of evil by plowing myself into them...”

Louis quickly got up and turned around to face Thesia, opening his eyes. “...But I got my ass handed to me by some Dark Knight! A Dark fucking Knight!”

He stopped for a moment and giggled, closing his eyes again. “It’s weird, you know? When I started trying to get to Aigol to find a way back here, I tried to stop swearing so much but now that I’m back on Earth I’ve been swearing up a- a...”

Louis collapsed to his knees and his smiled disappeared. Tears flowed down from his eyes and he sobbed, his hands going up to cover his face. Thesia looked around and bit her lower lip. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was supposed to do. If she had seen someone crying back before she had been ‘killed,’ she would’ve either ignored them or stabbed them for their weakness. Now, however, she was reforming herself and she didn’t have the slightest clue what to do with the boy.

“He beat me, Thesia... HE BEAT ME!” he cried.

Thesia winced and approached Louis, the only thing she could think of to offer comfort was to put her hand on his shoulder.

*

Varek looked at himself in the mirror and took in swift, deep breathes [sic]. He had sorted through everything that was in the warehouse he took from the gang and was happy to discover a few boxes of canned food, a little water bit of bottled water, and the mirror. And it was then that he realized that he had gotten happy about something.

He examined himself in the mirror, hoping it might offer some insight as to what had caused him to feel an emotion that he had steadfastly refused since he first joined the Darkness. The Darkness had always told him that mirrors were in fact reflections of the soul, and when one looks at one’s image in it, that they are seeing their own true face. To Varek’s satisfaction, he didn’t see a face smiling back at him.

He bit his lower lip and took a step back, sighing. “The infection of this world is spreading. It’s only a matter of time before I start to smile. My hair is already fully blue again. If I can’t kill the Linkara...”

“Why kill him?”

Varek twisted himself around and unsheathed his sword, aiming it in the direction of the voice he had heard. Standing in the doorway of the warehouse was the mugger he had assaulted a few days earlier. He was smiling and leaning against the door frame, now wearing a nice white shirt, a black tie, and black suit pants. He kept his hands in his pockets and his sleeves were rolled up. His hair was short and black, formed into a spiky pattern in the front.

“So not only are the criminals in this world poor at their skills, but they are also fools? No wonder this world is so corrupted by its own light and hubris.” Varek sneered.

“Since you don’t know anything about me, I’m going to let that slide. I’m going to be honest, Destroyer – you scared the shit out of me when you killed Jason and I was hoping I’d never see you again. But a few hours later, I started to realize that the things you did, what you were capable of and where you came from... well, it was all like something out of a Sci-Fi movie. And I’m not going to be sitting on the side watching it all. I want in on the action.” The mugger stated.

“There is no ‘action’ to be had. I am here to kill my enemy and anyone who stands in my way... or annoys me.” Varek replied.

The mugger stopped leaning against the door and held up his hands in a ‘surrender’ gesture. “Whoa! Don’t kill me until you’ve heard my pitch. I’ve been following you, Destroyer, ever since you first beat the shit out of me and killed my partner. While you were out and hunted for your Linkara, I snuck in here and took a look at your little book. At first it was a blur to me, but I was able to read it within a few seconds. I even took a peak through your journals, which is how I know your name.”

“My patience and my irritation are quickly rising. Make your point!” Varek growled.

“After you kill the Linkara, what are you planning on doing?” The mugger asked.

“Return to Sin!” Varek yelled his answer.

“And?” The mugger further questioned, wanting to know more.

“And-” Varek paused. “And-... I don’t know. My thoughts are only for revenge against the false idol.”

“Then allow me to offer you an alternative. You wrote in your journal that the Darkness would’ve thrived in this place. Why couldn’t it? Why bother with simple revenge against the Linkara? Why not instead humiliate him, shatter the faith he has in his own religion and bring new life to the Darkness here?” The mugger suggested.

Varek raised an eyebrow as the mugger made his ‘pitch.’ He hadn’t considered the possibility of trying to reestablish the Darkness religion; he had simply planned on killing the Linkara and had contemplated ending his own life once his holy task was completed. After all, he was the only person left who still fully believed in the greatness of the Darkness. The thought of recruiting new members on Sin would be impossible with the death of the Darkness itself.

“On this world, no one has heard of the Darkness or the Linkara. You’ve got a shot at a fresh start with the religion and you’ve got millions of impressionable people who’ll go to you. And why? Because your faith has some meat to it.” The mugger continued.

“What do you mean?”

“I admit it – I like having power. I know exactly what I am. I’m a criminal, an assaulter, a ‘degenerate of society,’ and I do want to change, but there’s nothing solid that the world has shown to offer me. Religions like Christianity, Islam, and other crap are a fucking joke. They tell you to do this and do that or else some big invisible guy’ll punish you. Well, I haven’t seen any Gods coming down to smite me for my sinful ways so I think I’m in the clear. But the Darkness...”

The mugger grinned. “I’ve seen what the Darkness can do and you’re living proof of it. Your religion can actually offer solid evidence behind its truths and its perceptions. None of that ‘just have faith’ BS, you’ve got the real thing packing in that book of yours.”

“Be warned, toad, faith is still an integral part of the Darkness. It’s not about achieving power or wealth or any such nonsense. It’s a belief that the Darkness is truth and its word is divinity. And even then, I have no way of trusting that you have the same faith that I have in my fallen lord.” Varek said, narrowing his eyes at him.

“Oh, but there is a way. The Darkness himself wrote down the procedure.” The mugger said, pointing at the Black Oracle as it lay on a box near Varek.

Varek glanced over at it, and then brought his gaze back to the mugger, who was several feet closer to him. “You are referring to the procedure that creates Dark Knights. I would’ve done it on myself again if I could so that it could stop the infection that your world is doing to me.”

“But it can only be done on one person to another. And I am fully ready to receive the blessing of the Darkness.” The mugger said proudly.

Varek resheathed his sword and walked over to the book. “Be warned – it will not strip you of your ability to smile. Only the Darkness itself could do that. Also, only those who truly have embraced Darkness can hope to survive the process. If you resist it in any way, it will consume your flesh and leave you an irritating mess to clean up.”

“I’m prepared, Destroyer. I want to be on the winning team and I want a new life.” The mugger proclaimed.

Varek almost smiled at this, but he resisted the temptation as he picked up the book. “You remind me of myself when I first joined the Darkness. On your knees and we shall see if you are worthy of my fallen lord.”

The mugger dropped down to his knees as Varek approached, holding the book open in his hands. He held out his right hand above the mugger’s head while his left held the book steady. His eyes focused on the pages of the book and the mugger kept himself still as Varek began to read:

“Within my hand is the power of Darkness. It is the power that resists light and the power that was natural to the world before the candle’s flame. This man wishes to share in that power and it shall be granted unto the Darkness to judge him worthy.”

Varek’s eyes became completely blackened as an ebon-colored energy began to form around his hands, forming out like smoke from his limb.

“If his spirit is strong, let the Darkness fuel him and transform his flesh. May illness never claim him nor shall age. His hair shall be as black as his soul and his complexion untouched by that of light. While the sword may strike him down, he is forever bound to the Darkness’ will in life and death hereafter!”

The glow from Varek’s hand began to melt down and hit the mugger’s skin. He began to shiver, feeling a cold feeling start to rush over him under his skin.

“If he is worthy of your blessings, may he reject the light and all of its empty promises and hopes! Let the life giver become black as pitch to signal his approach, the approach of your agent! Make him your knight in black armor, forever defending your eternal truth against your enemies! In the Darkness’ name, make this man yours!”

The rest of the energy shot down at the mugger, causing him to fall backwards. He was screaming at the top of his lugs, writhing around on the ground as his eyes were consumed by the same blackness that had inhabited Varek’s eyes a moment before. Varek himself had returned to normal and he closed the book, staring down at the mugger as he clawed at the ground beneath him. Varek wasn’t at all surprised by the behavior. He recalled his own transition to accepting the Darkness into his body was especially painful and had lasted a few minutes. He had seen it on others. Sometimes the process took minutes and other times it was seconds. For those it took longer, it was more likely they would be killed.

However, it took only forty seconds for the mugger to stop struggling and lay down flat on the ground. He was still breathing and his forehead was coated in a layer of sweat. Varek walked closer to him, leaning over slightly to examine his body. The mugger’s skin was already beginning to look a little paler and his eyes had returned to their original appearance, albeit there almost appeared to be a dark film over them.

“How do you feel?” Varek asked.

The mugger slowly rose to his own knees and then fully stood. He stretched out his arms and legs, a smile slowly crawling over his lips. Varek bit his lower lip. He had never seen someone smile after the procedure, thanks to the Darkness’ influence over them that suppressed certain emotions. The mugger looked over to Varek and nodded.

“I feel... dark. I can feel it in my veins, in my very teeth. Is this the feeling that you have? Even the air I breathe now has the glorious feeling of darkness about it.” He said.

“Yes, it is. It shall take some time for me to get used to you smiling. Without the Darkness, you are susceptible to the emotions that he wanted to suppress and we must find a way to deal with it for other new knights, lest they be overtaken by the emotional affliction.” Varek explained.

The mugger nodded. “Of course. Do you have any suggestions for the moment that I can use to deal with them?”

“When you do your tasks, do not allow your emotions to enter into any equation. You have jobs to do and that is all that matters. Revel not in victories nor be tempered by defeat. The Darkness’ will is all that matters. What is your name, sir?”

The mugger began to open his mouth to answer, but Varek suddenly brought his hand up, signaling him to stop.

“No! Kneel, sir.” Varek commanded.

The mugger did as he was ordered.

Varek slid his sword from his sheath and held it up in front of him. “If I’m to be the man that you think I can be, the first Priest of the Darkness and the first leader of his new order, than I must make very important decisions, starting with this.”

Varek laid the flat side of his blade on the mugger’s left shoulder, and then his right and back again to the left while speaking:

“Whoever you were before now is of no consequence. In honor of the service you have provided today, the first volunteer of the new Dark Knights, you shall be my messenger, my voice to this world for what shall come. I am Darkness, now, until the great Darkness himself returns, and as I am Darkness, you are my Darkbringer.”

The mugger remained on his knees as Varek finished his knighting ceremony.

Varek resheathed his sword and reached the Black Oracle. “Rise, Darkbringer. There is much to do.”
Next Time: It's the chapter with the dumb title that heralds the start of the table of contents being fucked.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sat Jun 14, 2025 7:55 pm

So I guess even Linkara agreed that Varek couldn't carry the main villain role alone.
SpoilerShow
“How is he?” White Raven asked as Indow reentered the kitchen.
Image
After Indow had called Louis’ house and explained the situation, White Raven was able to talk her through how to shift into the magical domain and get to Varek and Louis. It had taken quite a while, though, due to White Raven only understanding a little of it, herself, and Indow since the possibility of shifting like that existed purely to her as magic theory, one of several thousand discussed in her books. On White Raven’s part, she only knew of it thanks to having spent time with some of the few remaining Dark Sorcerers while she had been in Soyah.
I know this magical domain shifting didn't exist until one chapter ago, but really? The Dark Sorcerers knew about this shit, and they just never used it and didn't tell anyone about this?
And does Raven know more arcane breakthroughs she isn't sharing with the team's only spellcaster for no reason?
Upon shifting herself into the sub-dimension, it took Indow a few minutes to try to locate Varek and Louis. When she followed, she saw that Varek was about to kill Louis and managed to scare off the Dark Knight.
Why yes, I did read the previous chapter.
Following that, she shifted them back into their normal plane of existence and flew Louis back to his home, trying to heal him along the way. Sadly, trying to heal him while also flying took out too much of her own energy and she collapsed near a county road.
How about healing him first and then do whatever else you have planned?
Using street signs and Alice’s phone, she managed to call Louis’ home and got them to pick them up. Louis had lost consciousness and while his parents initially insisted they take him to a doctor, Indow convinced them he’d be fine and was just exhausted from the battle.
This all might've made for a bit of tension and drama, but the Great Linkara isn't conscious during these scenes, so CliffNotes it is.
After arriving back at his home, she remained alone with him for fifteen minutes before coming out.
I'm suddenly reminded of Sonic.exe, which famously tracks the passage of time to an autistic degree.
“I’ve healed all the damage, including the broken arm, but he’s still pretty shaken up. He woke up about two minutes ago after I finished up with the deep cuts. He’s still pretty tired, so I recommend we leave him alone for now.” She stated.
Hooray for no lasting injuries.
Outside of his feefees of course, but he'll get over those after one or two painfully cringy scenes.
Indow looked over to the table, where Thesia sat, her body glowing a bright green. She raised an eyebrow and approached her, but did nothing to interfere with what she was doing. After a few more seconds, Thesia sighed, opened her eyes, and the glow from her body disappeared.
I assume spellcasters glow in random colors when doing divination magic to make things more "exciting".
“Any luck on your end?” Jordahn queried.

Thesia shook her head. “Nothing. Either he has found a way to shroud himself from my own magicks or something on this world scatters the search.”
Image
“What were you doing?” Indow asked.
Bitch you did the same thing at the mall.
Though I guess this is different because it's green and not yellow :roll:
“What were you doing?” Indow asked.

Thesia smirked and leaned back in her chair. “Hunting for an old friend.”

“What?” Indow exclaimed.

“Thesia apparently used to be partners with Varek.” Lithmenar said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

“WHAT?!” Indow yelled.
Well, it stands to reason that they might've teamed up during some of her more "minor" misdemeanors like allying herself with the forces of evil or enacting Total Dwarf Death.
Thesia smiled and looked over at Indow. “Just another thing to add to your list of things you disapprove of me, Priestess."
Classic Indow. Always bigoted against people who have committed multiple war crimes and aren't sure just yet whether or not they should feel bad about it :roll:
"Yes, I used to work with that animal. Remember when I spoke of trying to resurrect Gritsnak?"
One of the Gritsnaks, at least. I think this one's Gritsnak Prime.
"Well, the good Destroyer had already been on the project long before I worked for the Darkness."
I can't see him being able to do much besides ordering Dark Sorcerers around, seeing how he wasn't a spellcaster back then.
"The Darkness partnered me up with him to help facilitate matters and keep me protected while I completed the spells. However, I had my own ambitions for Gritsnak."
Casually betraying an ally for personal gain. How trustworthy.
"After the group that had been following us defeated them, Varek attempted to fight me and get revenge. However, it was at that moment that your hero upstairs defeated the Darkness and Varek became paralyzed by the sudden loss of his God.”
I don't think it was necessary to include this bit of hyper-convenient timing, but sure, why not?
“Who is this Varek guy, anyway? And why did he come after my son?” Erica wanted to know.
Because he killed his god? Didn't you pay attention?
“Varek the Destroyer is one of the most infamous Dark Knights from Sin."
We have yet to know why he is one of the most infamous, but rest assured that he is.
"Nothing is known about his origins..."
"He does have blue hair though, so he's probably Marth."
"... but it could be said that he was the most faithful and loyal servant of the Darkness."
"He never got promoted to being one of the five Horsemen, so all his faith and loyalty were for nothing."
"He never questioned, never demanded explanation, never believed the Darkness was anything but the purest good and a divine entity."
"It could be said that he was just a useful idiot who never thought for himself."

And I don't care how much you think your blob god is "good". If you're living in depressing ruins hanging out with undead while wearing spiky black armor, you ought to get at least one instance of "Are we the baddies?" - and that's not even getting into the war crimes.
"Even after the Darkness had died and Myrrha took command of the Dark Knights, he remained solely committed to the religion of the Darkness."
She's a crazy bitch who fantasized about a human breeding program and a stupid coronation ceremony where she wanted to prove their peaceful intentions with human sacrifice, so I'm shocked he's the only one who noped out of this.
"He disappeared after Louis dealt with Myrrha and now it seems we know where he went."
It only seems that way?
Image
"Evidently he wants revenge for what Louis did to the Darkness.” White Raven explained.
It does seem that way, but we might never know for certain.
“But how did he get here? It took us months to find the spell to Earth and even then it required very specific materials for the task.” Lithmenar pointed out.
You kinda ignored him and Myrrha for that time period, and have no fucking idea WTF those two have been doing.
Come to think of it, how come the B-Team was somehow able to be kept up-to-date with Linkara's happenings (using some informant apparently), yet they never managed to send them a "We're hunting Myrrha and Varek" message in all this time?
“It doesn’t matter how he did it; it’s done. The question is what we’re going to do about it?” George brought up.
Ask him to stop, or call the cops.
One of these is a lot more likely.
“You will do nothing. The same goes for you, John and Erica. I hate to say it, but none of you have the combat experience necessary to defeat someone like Varek.” Jordahn said.
I'm pretty sure that's not what he was going for.
And if Lithmenar's mom can kick all sorts of asses, I wouldn't be surprised with Linkara's mom is even more badass.
“You mean none of us are capable of killing people like Louis.” George said angrily, crossing his arms.

“What are you talking about?!” John asked his oldest son.

George replied, “The thing that Louis left out about his little adventures is that he killed people. Dark Knights, the Arbiter guys, other-”
You're still butthurt about this? The hell did you think he did? Annoy his enemies into submission with Looney Tunes pranks?
“The Dark Knights hardly count! He fought soulless abominations as a soldier of war!” Indow interrupted.

Ahem.” White Raven said, narrowing her eyes at Indow as she sat at the table.

Indow rolled her eyes. “I meant they were like that while under the influence of the Darkness.”
Image

Oh, Indow and her classic casual racism.
“Louis is 14 years old! He’s just a kid, not a soldier!” Erica yelled.
If it's any consolation it was one hell of a hoot for him in the first two books.
“He needed to be a warrior where he was. When he was in Kien battling the Terafell Arbiters, the only way to defeat them was by killing your enemies. And even then, the Arbiters count even less than the Dark Knights by no stretch of the imagination. They are- were honorless, mindless legions bent on only conquest and enforcement of their own ideology.” Jordahn rebuffed.
Except for the various times you came close to a mutiny because Linkara was more interested in killing as many Terafellas as possible than to actually accomplish his mission which he himself insisted on doing.
And mindless? They may not have been the sharpest tools in the shed, but they certainly acted less moronic than you.
“He should never have been put into that position to begin with! Children don’t fight wars-” John said.

“On Sin they do. Military service is grantable to anyone at the age of 12 and up.” Indow replied.
That sounds a bit too young unless they're just glorified servants for the actual combatants.
“In Kien it’s a requirement that all citizens serve at least some time as military personnel.” Jordahn stated further.
Now you just need to mention an age range for this compulsory military service, and it might even be related to this discussion on child soldiers.
And I thought Kienians hate the fuck out of serving in the regular military?
“Yeah, well this ain’t Sin or Kien!” George yelled back at her.
Now are the cultures of Sin evil enough that you don't have to respect and tolerate them, I wonder?
“A fact I am constantly having to be reminded of!” White Raven shouted.
Must be hard walking around town without everyone pointing at you and shouting "Blood Raven!"
“Excuse me?”

The group all stopped when they looked over at the doorway into the kitchen. Louis stood in the entrance, looking tired as he stood before them all. Everyone quickly ended their discussion as Louis turned to Indow.
The Great Linkara has rejoined the narrative. Everyone be quiet and prepare for the important discussions.
“Where are the others?” he queried.

“I had them go back to their homes. I said I’d call them and let them know of what happened with you.” Indow answered.
Seems Linkara's obnoxious nerd brigade was pretty easy to get rid off.
Louis nodded. “Good. If you need me, I’ll be out back.”
The Great Linkara has left the narrative. Meaningless yapping is once again allowed.
With that, he walked over to the front door and stepped out, making his way towards the back yard. The assembled group of Louis’ friends and family exchanged glances. Indow started walking towards the door, intent on following Louis out and seeing if he was okay, but Thesia reached out and touched her shoulder to stop her.

“No, not you. If he’s in pain, he won’t speak to someone he knows for fear of having himself appear weak. I’ll go.” She said, quickly going towards the door, herself.
Who needs friends or loved ones to get through dark times? Just bitch and moan at a stranger!

(I'm sure Linkara (the author) could've found a different way to give Linkara and Thesia some quality alone time if he wasn't such a hack.)

*
Louis stood in his back yard and looked down at a fairly large rock that had somehow found its way there. He postulated that it had been thrown there from a flower garden of a neighbor or other decorative display that featured rocks.
How large is "fairly large"? I feel there's a distinct upper limit for rocks that neighbors can just casually toss into your backyard.
And this thing's here so Linkara can punch the shit out of it, isn't it?
He simply looked down at it as Thesia approached, still wearing the same armor she had worn when she had first arrived, although sans the helmet and the gloves.
Will it ever be explained why she's wearing Terafella colors?
“Louis?” she called to him.

If he noticed she was there, he made no indication that he showed it. Thesia stepped up closer.

“How are you feeling?”
"I feel pretty, and witty, and gay."
Louis took a step forward and descended himself down by his knees enough so he could slam his gauntlet-covered right fist into the rock. As soon as it hit, the rock cracked and exploded out into powder and smaller pieces, Louis’ hand continuing on to hit the grass beneath it. Thesia jumped back a little and gasped at this, not expecting the maneuver. Louis remained where he was as he closed his eyes.
What a surprise. I did not see that coming.
He spoke softly: “With this gauntlet, I can crush a rock with my fist. The others were so impressed by it and I loved it."
Eh, it's an okay trick I guess.
"I can smash through a building, I can fly through the air, and I can defeat big blobs of evil by plowing myself into them...”
"I can't burst out of chains from people other than the Terafellas, though."
Louis quickly got up and turned around to face Thesia, opening his eyes. “...But I got my ass handed to me by some Dark Knight! A Dark fucking Knight!”
Because you acted like a dumbass.
And more casual racism. He and Indow really are made for each other.
He stopped for a moment and giggled, closing his eyes again. “It’s weird, you know? When I started trying to get to Aigol to find a way back here, I tried to stop swearing so much but now that I’m back on Earth I’ve been swearing up a- a...”
Really? Huh, I can only find two "fuck"s in Book 3, so it must be true.
Louis collapsed to his knees and his smiled disappeared. Tears flowed down from his eyes and he sobbed, his hands going up to cover his face.
We are indeed doing this shit again.
But don't you worry, I'm sure he'll be back to his insufferable self next scene.
Thesia looked around and bit her lower lip. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was supposed to do.
I'm glad you insisted on doing the therapy session here.
If she had seen someone crying back before she had been ‘killed,’ she would’ve either ignored them or stabbed them for their weakness.
We both know you're not doing it now because of the gauntlet.
Now, however, she was reforming herself and she didn’t have the slightest clue what to do with the boy.
I see your study of "philosophy" has been well worth it.
“He beat me, Thesia... HE BEAT ME!” he cried.
Image
Thesia winced and approached Louis, the only thing she could think of to offer comfort was to put her hand on his shoulder.
Image

*
Varek looked at himself in the mirror and took in swift, deep breathes [sic]. He had sorted through everything that was in the warehouse he took from the gang and was happy to discover a few boxes of canned food, a little water bit of bottled water, and the mirror.
Fucking hobo.
Where has he learned about canned food, anyways?
And it was then that he realized that he had gotten happy about something.
Image

It would be hilarious if Varek turns to the side of Good because he's having too much fun curbstomping Linkara.
He examined himself in the mirror, hoping it might offer some insight as to what had caused him to feel an emotion that he had steadfastly refused since he first joined the Darkness.
Are you hoping that your reflection will start talking or something?
The Darkness had always told him that mirrors were in fact reflections of the soul, and when one looks at one’s image in it, that they are seeing their own true face.
That first part is just a nonsensical variation of "The eyes are the mirror of the soul", and the latter is just physics.
To Varek’s satisfaction, he didn’t see a face smiling back at him.
The Smile Counter has increased (19 -> 20)

JFC now the characters are commenting on their own not-smiling.
He bit his lower lip and took a step back, sighing. “The infection of this world is spreading. It’s only a matter of time before I start to smile. My hair is already fully blue again. If I can’t kill the Linkara...”
And what exactly would be so bad about it? And didn't you say last book that the Darkness never actually fully removed you guys' emotions?
“Why kill him?”
Personally, I'd be happy if Linkara got chained up in this warehouse and beaten within an inch of his life for the rest of this boo-

OMG who's talking?!
Image
Varek twisted himself around and unsheathed his sword, aiming it in the direction of the voice he had heard. Standing in the doorway of the warehouse was the mugger he had assaulted a few days earlier.
I take it this is probably not the one you killed risen from the dead, but if it's the one you let go it's only slightly more believable.
He was smiling and leaning against the door frame...
So he's not entirely evil.
... now wearing a nice white shirt, a black tie, and black suit pants.
Any reason why he's showing up in his Sunday best now?
He kept his hands in his pockets and his sleeves were rolled up. His hair was short and black, formed into a spiky pattern in the front.
Image

Not a perfect match, but close enough I guess.
And is his hair now different from last time, or did you just not bother giving him any physical characteristics until now?
“So not only are the criminals in this world poor at their skills, but they are also fools? No wonder this world is so corrupted by its own light and hubris.” Varek sneered.
Careful. If he comes back for more like this, he's either batshit insane, or has learned kung fu and will kick your ass.
“Since you don’t know anything about me, I’m going to let that slide. I’m going to be honest, Destroyer – you scared the shit out of me when you killed Jason and I was hoping I’d never see you again. But a few hours later, I started to realize that the things you did, what you were capable of and where you came from... well, it was all like something out of a Sci-Fi movie. And I’m not going to be sitting on the side watching it all. I want in on the action.” The mugger stated.
Batshit insane it is.
“There is no ‘action’ to be had. I am here to kill my enemy and anyone who stands in my way... or annoys me.” Varek replied.
That's what he was talking about, nimrod.
The mugger stopped leaning against the door and held up his hands in a ‘surrender’ gesture.
Image
“Whoa! Don’t kill me until you’ve heard my pitch. I’ve been following you, Destroyer, ever since you first beat the shit out of me and killed my partner."
Didn't Varek learn invisibility and plane shift so shit like this wouldn't happen?
And how come this mugger's now keeping his cool all of a sudden?
"While you were out and hunted for your Linkara, I snuck in here and took a look at your little book. At first it was a blur to me, but I was able to read it within a few seconds. I even took a peak through your journals, which is how I know your name.”
Oh, so that's why we got a chapter with Varek's blog entry.
This guy's a fucking idiot if he was impressed by Varek's prose.
Also good to know that Varek apparently leave his most prized possession just lying around in the warehouse, completely unsupervised for what must be hours on end.
“My patience and my irritation are quickly rising. Make your point!” Varek growled.

“After you kill the Linkara, what are you planning on doing?” The mugger asked.

“Return to Sin!” Varek yelled his answer.

“And?” The mugger further questioned, wanting to know more.

“And-” Varek paused. “And-... I don’t know. My thoughts are only for revenge against the false idol.”
There are a lot of (potential) villains in this book with no idea WTF they want to do.
Though didn't he have a grand villain speach about his overall goals in a previous chapter?
And if he wants revenge, there's like an entire continent full of potential targets on Sin.
“Then allow me to offer you an alternative. You wrote in your journal that the Darkness would’ve thrived in this place. Why couldn’t it? Why bother with simple revenge against the Linkara? Why not instead humiliate him, shatter the faith he has in his own religion and bring new life to the Darkness here?” The mugger suggested.
Do you mean the Linkaran faith (which he doesn't really care about) or the Christian one (which he can't be that devout of a follower of seeing how he keeps comparing himself to Jesus)?
Varek raised an eyebrow as the mugger made his ‘pitch.’ He hadn’t considered the possibility of trying to reestablish the Darkness religion; he had simply planned on killing the Linkara and had contemplated ending his own life once his holy task was completed.
Really? What happened to that grand vilain speech? I thought you wanted to fix this "imperfect" Earth, and wanted to wait until the people of Sin were flung into Dark Times (somehow) and then came crawling back to you to reestablish the glorious old order (for some reason).
What happened, mate? You were pretty sure and full of yourself before, but now you're suddenly all insecure, and easily molded by this random guy who effectively just popped into existence (his debut as a glorified background character doesn't really count as a debut).

Did Linkara (the author) like rewrite at least one earlier chapter, and just forgot to include it in this book?
Then again this was never actually released, so who the fuck knows how the lack of coherency can be excused with that.
After all, he was the only person left who still fully believed in the greatness of the Darkness.
Hard to imagine with great teachings such as "Smiling bad" and "Kill anyone who thinks otherwise".
The thought of recruiting new members on Sin would be impossible with the death of the Darkness itself.
And he's not exactly less dead on Earth, so I'm not sure why you specifically pointed out Sin here.
“On this world, no one has heard of the Darkness or the Linkara. You’ve got a shot at a fresh start with the religion and you’ve got millions of impressionable people who’ll go to you."
Really? We're gonna have a cult plot in this?
"And why? Because your faith has some meat to it.” The mugger continued.

“What do you mean?”
Yeah, seriously. I guess we know a bit more Darkness teachings than Linkaran ones, but this shit is still paper-thin and just dumb.
“I admit it – I like having power. I know exactly what I am. I’m a criminal, an assaulter, a ‘degenerate of society,’ and I do want to change, but there’s nothing solid that the world has shown to offer me."
Just go the born-again Christian route, and you can go on and on about how much of a bad person you were before accepting Jesus in your heart :roll:
"Religions like Christianity, Islam, and other crap are a fucking joke. They tell you to do this and do that or else some big invisible guy’ll punish you."
Welcome to religion, homie.
"Well, I haven’t seen any Gods coming down to smite me for my sinful ways so I think I’m in the clear. But the Darkness...”
"He can't smite me for my sins because he's already dead!"
Image
The mugger grinned. “I’ve seen what the Darkness can do and you’re living proof of it. Your religion can actually offer solid evidence behind its truths and its perceptions. None of that ‘just have faith’ BS, you’ve got the real thing packing in that book of yours.”
I liked my argumentation chain better.
And technically the book just contains magic, not miracles.
“Be warned, toad, faith is still an integral part of the Darkness. It’s not about achieving power or wealth or any such nonsense. It’s a belief that the Darkness is truth and its word is divinity."
Dead divinity, to be exact.
"And even then, I have no way of trusting that you have the same faith that I have in my fallen lord.” Varek said, narrowing his eyes at him.
Don't worry. I'm sure he can butter you up some more like the Wormtongue that he is.
“Oh, but there is a way. The Darkness himself wrote down the procedure.” The mugger said, pointing at the Black Oracle as it lay on a box near Varek.
Oh, another fantastic - and plot-convenient - spell he never shared with anyone? What are the odds?!
Varek glanced over at it, and then brought his gaze back to the mugger, who was several feet closer to him.
Where is the book at the moment? And why is this guy going all Weeping Angel on you?
“You are referring to the procedure that creates Dark Knights. I would’ve done it on myself again if I could so that it could stop the infection that your world is doing to me.”
And what a terrible infection it is. Today, his hair is blue. Tomorrow, he might just end up smiling as he makes Linkara cough up his own teeth.
“But it can only be done on one person to another. And I am fully ready to receive the blessing of the Darkness.” The mugger said proudly.
Convenient. I'm sure there's nothing fishy about this random guy wanting superpowers.
Varek resheathed his sword and walked over to the book. “Be warned – it will not strip you of your ability to smile. Only the Darkness itself could do that."
The horror. This spell is but a hollow shell of its former glory :|
"Also, only those who truly have embraced Darkness can hope to survive the process. If you resist it in any way, it will consume your flesh and leave you an irritating mess to clean up.”
Resistance will only make its penis harder.
“I’m prepared, Destroyer. I want to be on the winning team and I want a new life.” The mugger proclaimed.
Hooray for opportunism!
Varek almost smiled at this, but he resisted the temptation as he picked up the book.
The Smile Counter has increased (20 -> 21)

Fuck it, I'll count this one.
“You remind me of myself when I first joined the Darkness. On your knees and we shall see if you are worthy of my fallen lord.”
"I hope your gag reflexes aren't too strong."
The mugger dropped down to his knees as Varek approached, holding the book open in his hands. He held out his right hand above the mugger’s head while his left held the book steady. His eyes focused on the pages of the book and the mugger kept himself still as Varek began to read:
Fuck yeah, an evil baptism scene!

“Within my hand is the power of Darkness. It is the power that resists light and the power that was natural to the world before the candle’s flame. This man wishes to share in that power and it shall be granted unto the Darkness to judge him worthy.”
Not sure how this works when the Darkness is dead, but go on.
“If his spirit is strong, let the Darkness fuel him and transform his flesh. May illness never claim him nor shall age. His hair shall be as black as his soul and his complexion untouched by that of light. While the sword may strike him down, he is forever bound to the Darkness’ will in life and death hereafter!”
Now semi-immortality is fine and all, but it's the 100% tan resistance that really sells it.
“If he is worthy of your blessings, may he reject the light and all of its empty promises and hopes! Let the life giver become black as pitch to signal his approach, the approach of your agent!"
Is that one really necessary? Is that some kind of flaw the Darkness had to put in there to reduce the Difficulty Class for his Spellcraft check?
"Make him your knight in black armor, forever defending your eternal truth against your enemies! In the Darkness’ name, make this man yours!”
Suffer not the infidel who claims that smiling is okay!
The rest of the energy shot down at the mugger, causing him to fall backwards. He was screaming at the top of his lugs, writhing around on the ground as his eyes were consumed by the same blackness that had inhabited Varek’s eyes a moment before.
Image
Varek wasn’t at all surprised by the behavior. He recalled his own transition to accepting the Darkness into his body was especially painful and had lasted a few minutes. He had seen it on others. Sometimes the process took minutes and other times it was seconds. For those it took longer, it was more likely they would be killed.
Is this just random, or has this anything to do with your state of mind? If so why was yours one of the longer ones?
However, it took only forty seconds for the mugger to stop struggling and lay down flat on the ground. He was still breathing and his forehead was coated in a layer of sweat. Varek walked closer to him, leaning over slightly to examine his body. The mugger’s skin was already beginning to look a little paler and his eyes had returned to their original appearance, albeit there almost appeared to be a dark film over them.
He michael-jacksoned that guy alright.
“How do you feel?” Varek asked.
Image
The mugger slowly rose to his own knees and then fully stood. He stretched out his arms and legs, a smile slowly crawling over his lips. Varek bit his lower lip. He had never seen someone smile after the procedure, thanks to the Darkness’ influence over them that suppressed certain emotions. The mugger looked over to Varek and nodded.
Image

We're in deep shit now, aren't we?
“I feel... dark. I can feel it in my veins, in my very teeth. Is this the feeling that you have? Even the air I breathe now has the glorious feeling of darkness about it.” He said.
Image
“Yes, it is. It shall take some time for me to get used to you smiling. Without the Darkness, you are susceptible to the emotions that he wanted to suppress and we must find a way to deal with it for other new knights, lest they be overtaken by the emotional affliction.” Varek explained.
Sure, the other knights. I'm sure you don't have to worry about this guy :roll:
The mugger nodded. “Of course. Do you have any suggestions for the moment that I can use to deal with them?”
"I recommend books by L. J. Lovhaug. They make you feel dead inside."

And why are you asking an emotionally disabled person for advice on emotion management?
“When you do your tasks, do not allow your emotions to enter into any equation. You have jobs to do and that is all that matters. Revel not in victories nor be tempered by defeat."
Can't see that not working out in practice at all.
"The Darkness’ will is all that matters. What is your name, sir?”
Image
The mugger began to open his mouth to answer, but Varek suddenly brought his hand up, signaling him to stop.

“No! Kneel, sir.” Varek commanded.

The mugger did as he was ordered.
JFC, man. Make up your mind.
Varek slid his sword from his sheath and held it up in front of him. “If I’m to be the man that you think I can be, the first Priest of the Darkness and the first leader of his new order, than I must make very important decisions, starting with this.”
"Should I enact mandatory penis inspections or not?!"
Varek laid the flat side of his blade on the mugger’s left shoulder, and then his right and back again to the left while speaking:

“Whoever you were before now is of no consequence. In honor of the service you have provided today, the first volunteer of the new Dark Knights, you shall be my messenger, my voice to this world for what shall come. I am Darkness, now, until the great Darkness himself returns, and as I am Darkness, you are my Darkbringer.”
The Darkbringer?!
Image

(Really, this is how that guy came to be? He's just some random asshole who convinced another asshole to zap him with dark energy?)
The mugger remained on his knees as Varek finished his knighting ceremony.

Varek resheathed his sword and reached the Black Oracle. “Rise, Darkbringer. There is much to do.”
"These Dark Tracts won't distribute themselves!"
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Thu Jun 19, 2025 8:38 am

Book 4, Chapter 7 - The Night Gwen Stacy Died
(Or: The History of Comic Books)


(One does not not simply name their chapter after a Spider-Man reference without me embiggening it with Spider-Peak)

How much longer will Linkara bitch and moan before he returns to his usual smug self? How many more war crimes will Thesia casually admit to? And what delightful deviltry has the new dark dynamic duo in mind?
Maybe we'll get an answer. Who knows.

This is also the chapter where the table of contents starts fucking up. According to it this chapter is 22 pages long, but it's actually 7.

"Baddies Never Smile" Count: 21
And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.
RecapShow
As much as I got to ramble about the last chapter, there wasn't really a whole lot actually happening.

On the hero side of things, Linkara got patched up just fine with magic, but his feefees are still hurt so he's just crying and moaning about having lost like the Angry German Kid.
A lot of it was handled in a CliffNotes fashion, because fuck writing detailed scenes when the self-insert main character is knocked out.

Over on Varek's side, some suave animu gangster just shows up and effectively takes over Varek's bad guy operation by convincing him to start his own version of Scientology or something.
Sure, this is supposedly that one mugger that Varek let go away, but that mugger's characterization was so non-existent that this barely counts as a debut.
I'm not entirely sure what the point of all of this is. This would make more sense if Varek got his ass kicked and was in the depths of an existential crisis - but dude's on a roll atm.
Wait, I think I get it: The plot calls or Varek to get distracted so he'll take his sweet-ass time to actually finish his main objective.

Oh, and Varek just zapped the guy with dark energy to create The Darkbringer (tm), who will move on to become one of the Lightbringer's most legendary enemies or something.
He's pretty much a Dark Knight, except he's dressed like a businessman for some reason, and I'm sure the fact that only the Darkness could suppress a Dark Knight's emotion won't blow up in their face at all.
ChapterShow
“What are you reading?”

Indow gasped in surprise, the blanket over her head falling away and landing over her shoulders. The Lighting spell she had been using under the blanket faded away so Indow couldn’t see who it was that had interrupted her. She quickly recast the spell, illuminating the living room where she had been placed for her sleeping. Louis was standing on the other side of the room, looking over at her. Indow let out a sigh and smiled.

“Oh, I’m sorry, my love. You startled me.” She stated.

“I imagine I would considering it’s two in the morning. What’s got you so preoccupied that you don’t want to put the book down and sleep?” Louis inquired and stepped closer.

“It’s nothing, really. Lithmenar told me about these ‘comic books’ of yours and I decided to take a look for myself. The first I read was quite epic. It was called Crisis on Infinite Earths. I was so enthralled in it that I hadn’t realized that it took me but three hours to finish. When your brother mentioned it had a sequel story and you had the copies of it, I just had to start reading them.” Indow explained.

Louis chuckled and sat down next to her. “Yeah, but the sequel story came out twenty years later, kitten. On top of that, Infinite Crisis had about eight months or so worth of back stories and build up to it, so you probably shouldn’t start reading it right off the bat.”

Indow nodded. “Of course, how silly of me. If you could get them for me, I’d love to start reading now and-”

“Shouldn’t you get some sleep?” Louis interrupted.

Indow blushed and turned away. “I- I don’t feel tired. I wish to read some more.”

Louis’ face turned into a frown. “Indow, what’s wrong?”

“It’s... It’s silly, my love, you shouldn’t worry about it.”

Louis reached over and turned Indow’s face over to look at him again. “What’s wrong?”

Indow closed her eyes and sighed. “I can’t remember my dreams.”

Louis raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “Oh?”

“Yes, and it’s been bothering me ever since we arrived on Earth. On Sin, each night I vividly recalled my dreams and nightmares. It’s a humbling and peaceful experience being able to recall fantasies and horrors. Sometimes it can be frightening, but the benefits outweigh the consequences. But ever since I started sleeping here... I cannot recall my dreams. I know I had them, but the memory of them slips my mind and that frightens me. And when you were hurt so badly by Varek, I...”

Tears began to fall from Indow’s eyes. Louis quickly moved in close and embraced her, holding her tenderly as she cried.

“I can’t lose you again, my love... I lost you once when I thought you were dead and I just can’t let it happen again!” she exclaimed between sobs.

“Indow, we won’t let it happen. You hear me? You and me are going to be side-by-side and we’re going to take on Varek and he’s going to regret ever having signed on with the Darkness to begin with. And you know what? It’s not just the two of us, either. Jordahn and Lithie and White Raven... hell, even Thesia will be standing with us and we won’t let anything happen. I promise you, kitten.” Louis reassured her.

Indow smiled and looked down to the copy of Infinite Crisis #1 that laid on the couch, sniffling a little as her tears began to stop. “I’ve lost myself in dreams like this here, Louis... Dreams of people flying about like birds and wielding powers that make the strongest sorcerers on Sin seem amateurish in comparison...”

She looked up at Louis’ face and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “And you’re one of them, you know that?”

“One of what?”

“A ‘superhero.’ You defend the helpless, inspire others to great things, and never back down to evil.”

Louis smirked. “Heh. I suppose I am at that.”

“By the way, I noticed a distinctively different style in the writing between the first Crisis story and this one here. But they were only a short twenty years apart...” Indow inquired.

Yeah, that’s Silver-Age writing style right there. Well, I say Silver-Age but really the Silver-Age ended with Gwen Stacy dying, so...”

“Silver-Age?” Indow interrupted.

“Ah, ever since comic books started publishing superhero material, people have named when there’s a certain turning point in the overall comics that demonstrated a switch from the previous era. It started with the Golden-Age with the earliest versions of characters like Superman or Batman. After several years, when superheroes had lost their popularity, the genre got revitalized by the reintroduction of characters from the Golden-Age with new origins and background information and whatnot. That was the start of the Silver-Age.

“The Silver-Age was marked mostly by, well, sometimes goofier stories but also more attention being paid to drama and giving the characters problems to overcome. Sometimes stories would be outright ridiculous while others had such a natural feel that some people could finally use comic books to relate to their own lives. But the Silver-Age ended the night Gwen Stacy died.” Louis explained.

“Gwen Stacy?”

Louis nodded. “She was the romantic interest of a superhero named Spider-Man... he’s from a different universe from the books you’re reading here. Anyway, to make a long story short, she was thrown, unconscious, off of a bridge. Spider-Man tried to save her, but in his efforts, he accidentally killed her. Mind you, the real sad thing is that there was nothing he could’ve done to save her at all. She would’ve died when she hit the water and Spider-Man couldn’t have swung down in time to grab her. It marks the end of the Silver-Age because no longer could one ever guarantee that the hero was going to save the damsel in distress. It was a turning point to indicate the growing darkness in comics.”

“Growing darkness?”

“After the Silver-Age, comics started to focus more and more on trying to make themselves more ‘realistic.’ Realistic to them seemed to mean ‘let’s make everyone depressed and destroy their lives in varieties of ways while commenting on social and political issues.’ This finally hit a head in the last twenty years or so, with the rise of the anti-hero and more focus on ‘events’ and ‘turning points’ than on actually telling good stories. Comics would advertise big changes that would ‘affect them for years to come,’ and then those events were quickly removed from continuity later. It was more about gimmicks and publicity stunts than compelling storylines. People died all the time just to add drama and then were brought back to life again shortly afterwards. ‘The revolving door of death’ they call it.”

“So what did they name this age and how did they escape it?” Indow queried.

“Well, that’s where a lot of debate and discussion still take place. Most people call it the Bronze-Age leading up right to 1985 when Crisis on Infinite Earths happened. That’s when I think the Dark-Age began.” Louis speculated.

“And when did the Dark-Age end?”

“Well, some people would tell you it hasn’t ended, but personally I believe that with Infinite Crisis, we’re entering a new age away from the ‘grim and gritty’ likes of the Dark Age and more of an emphasis on good stories. I call it the Diamond-Age... albeit people aren’t exactly following me in it.”

“Why Diamond?”

“A few reasons. For starters, there’s the Diamond comic-shipping company that seems to have a lot of power over comic distribution. Also, like diamonds in the real world, while there are actually lots of them in the world, a few are sprinkled out into the world and are valuable in themselves as a result of it. I think things are going to get better from it from here on in.” Louis said, smiling.

He then stood up from the couch and leaned over, kissing Indow’s cheek. “In any case, Indow, you should get some sleep. If you forget your dreams again, I’ll tell you mine in the morning.”

Indow took hold of Louis’ arm and pulled him back down to the couch. “Please... sleep here, tonight? We need not do anything, I just want you here beside me...”

Louis smiled and nodded. Indow wrapped her arms around him and laid her head down on his shoulder, slowly falling asleep. Louis frowned as he looked up, taking in a deep breath as he hoped to himself that his Silver-Age didn’t end with the death of someone he loved...

*

“You’re sure you’re all right?”

“For the ninth time, yes! I don’t need any pampering.”

Everyone slept in late that morning and got up to have a late pancake lunch in the afternoon. Everyone was still worried over Louis’ heavy defeat at Varek’s hands and were trying to do everything possible to make sure Louis felt comfortable after it. Louis, however, was getting sick and tired of everyone asking him about his state of mind and body.

While most of the group was working on preparing lunch or getting ready to eat it, Thesia and White Raven were concerned with matters of their own. They put themselves down in the basement, where White Raven was trying to use her meditation abilities to track Varek down. Thesia was there both to learn of White Raven’s rituals and also to serve as a tethering point for her to try to locate Varek. They had been working on it for two hours before White Raven finally slapped her hands down on the floor and groaned in frustration.

“This is ridiculous!” she called it out in anger. “I cannot be expected to meditate without the aroma of my candles! And this world is constantly rejecting my techniques!”

Thesia sat cross-legged from White Raven, blinking at her. “Well, we could always go outside with them, but I doubt the rain would work well with your fiery candles, either.”

As if to elucidate her point, the roar of thunder gave the home a light, unnerving shake. It had been raining all morning and it did not appear to be clearing up any time soon. White Raven stood up and began to quickly pace back and forth along the lines of the carpeting, Thesia remaining still where she was.

“What’s the harm in lighting some candles in this place, anyway? I frankly find these unnatural lights they hang above them quite disturbing.” White Raven grumbled.

“This isn’t about the meditation, Raven, it’s about Louis.” Thesia said matter-of-factly.

White Raven stopped and glared down at her. “If you are implying that in some way I cannot focus on meditations that I have been able to accomplish for decades just because a friend of mine was harmed severely in a fight...”

She paused and bit her lower lip. Afterwards, she sighed and sat down on the futon behind her.

“...you’re right. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Indow and Louis have been hurt before, it’s never bothered me. For the sake of the heavens, Indow’s been raped and it never bothered me like this has.”

Thesia crawled over to the futon and slid up onto it, sitting beside White Raven. “How long have you been traveling with the boy?”

“We traveled together for nearly a year if you don’t count the time he spent in Sin’s past.” She answered.

“After everything you told me about your time with him, the defeat of the Darkness, the battle with the Kelitrat, overcoming even your dark demons within your mind, let’s face it – you admire and love him as a brother, companion, and protector. He has battled and won every major conflict you’ve seen him face and now suddenly he’s encountered a force that has not only beaten him, but was within an inch of killing him if not for Indow’s rescue. You’re scared for him because there is potential for Louis to be really killed.” Thesia analyzed.

“It’s more than that.” White Raven whispered, her eyes looking down at her hands as she listened to Thesia.

“What do you mean?”

“This is partially my fault.”

“What?”

“I wasn’t going to come with Louis to Earth at first. After he helped liberate Soyah and the former Dark Knights from Myrrha’s hold over them, I half-dedicated myself to the idea of chasing after her and stopping whatever plot she was no doubt working on. Instead I chose to remain with my friends and, as a result, Varek was able to come to this world to kill Louis.” White Raven explained.

“You can’t be certain that Myrrha and Varek were working together.” Thesia stated.

“Oh, but I can.” White Raven clenched her teeth, her fists balling up in her lap. “Louis said that Varek claimed to have the Black Oracle in his possession, that that was why he had access to powerful magicks. It took us months find a spell that would take us to Earth, but even then it was with a stroke of luck, otherwise it would’ve taken us another year or two if we had gone ahead with our plan of searching the entire continent of Aigol. The Black Oracle must have had knowledge of a way to get to Earth or some kind of spell that took him there. There was only one copy of the Black Oracle and that belonged to Myrrha. If I had gone in pursuit of Myrrha like I’d originally intended, this wouldn’t have happened. Louis would be safe and Varek would be no more a threat than any other Dark Knight.”

Thesia tried to calm her down: “But there’s no guarantee you’d be able to track them! At least now that you’re here, you can be of good use against Varek the next time we face him-”

White Raven interrupted her: “I am an expert tracker and hunter, Thesia! There is no place in heaven or on Sin that I could not find her! No dark corner that she could have shrouded herself in, no cave too deep for her to bury herself in! But because I was lonely and did not wish to abandon my friends, I may have doomed my closest companion!”

Thesia slapped White Raven across the face, much to her surprise.

“Get a hold of yourself, Raven! Your misplaced guilt will do you no good! I thought it was in your faith that whatever happens will happen and you must learn to live with it? If you wallow in self-pity, all you will do is be a liability to us all when we need you. I may not yet have fully developed my own purpose in life, but I suggest you get yours back on track before we face my former partner, because when the time comes and I need to plunge my sword through his black heart, I don’t want to suddenly have to worry that the arrows from your quiver aren’t going as straight as they should be!” She proclaimed.

White Raven, still surprised by the slap, blinked and looked over at Thesia, the former Conqueror glaring back at her. “You intend to be the one who slays Varek?”

“It’s only fitting. All I need is for that boy upstairs to-”

“Hey!” Lithmenar called down from the main level. “Are you two coming up here or are you going to sit down there and annoy us while we’re trying to eat?!”

The two women looked at each other, blushing slightly as they hadn’t realized they had been raising their voices so much. The two remained silent for several seconds afterwards. Thesia was the one who finally decided to break it:

“Lunch?”

White Raven smiled and nodded. “Let’s.”
RiffingShow
“What are you reading?”
Image
Indow gasped in surprise, the blanket over her head falling away and landing over her shoulders. The Lighting spell she had been using under the blanket faded away so Indow couldn’t see who it was that had interrupted her. She quickly recast the spell, illuminating the living room where she had been placed for her sleeping. Louis was standing on the other side of the room, looking over at her. Indow let out a sigh and smiled.
JFC, just turn on the light switch.
“Oh, I’m sorry, my love. You startled me.” She stated.
It is a normal reaction to the Great Linkara.
“I imagine I would considering it’s two in the morning. What’s got you so preoccupied that you don’t want to put the book down and sleep?” Louis inquired and stepped closer.
She was just enthralled by the theories of German Lebensraum in the East.
“It’s nothing, really. Lithmenar told me about these ‘comic books’ of yours and I decided to take a look for myself."
Knowing Lithmenar, I bet the top two recommendations he came across during his extensive research were Watchmen and Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose.
The first I read was quite epic. It was called Crisis on Infinite Earths. I was so enthralled in it that I hadn’t realized that it took me but three hours to finish."
That's like two pages per minute. Perfectly doable I guess, though Google claims you usually require about twice as much to read the whole thing - especially someone like Indow who has no idea about the characters and past events.
"When your brother mentioned it had a sequel story and you had the copies of it, I just had to start reading them.” Indow explained.
A shame every Crisis after the first has been trash.
And how fucking confusing must these stories be if you don't even know who Superman or Batman are?
Louis chuckled and sat down next to her. “Yeah, but the sequel story came out twenty years later, kitten. On top of that, Infinite Crisis had about eight months or so worth of back stories and build up to it, so you probably shouldn’t start reading it right off the bat.”
Also it sucks.
And there we have it: Linkara doing some flavor of comic review!
Indow nodded. “Of course, how silly of me. If you could get them for me, I’d love to start reading now and-”

“Shouldn’t you get some sleep?” Louis interrupted.

Indow blushed and turned away. “I- I don’t feel tired. I wish to read some more.”

Louis’ face turned into a frown. “Indow, what’s wrong?”

“It’s... It’s silly, my love, you shouldn’t worry about it.”

Louis reached over and turned Indow’s face over to look at him again. “What’s wrong?”
"I didn't have my period."
Indow closed her eyes and sighed. “I can’t remember my dreams.”
Image
Louis raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “Oh?”

“Yes, and it’s been bothering me ever since we arrived on Earth. On Sin, each night I vividly recalled my dreams and nightmares. It’s a humbling and peaceful experience being able to recall fantasies and horrors. Sometimes it can be frightening, but the benefits outweigh the consequences. But ever since I started sleeping here... I cannot recall my dreams. I know I had them, but the memory of them slips my mind and that frightens me."
Talk about First World problems :roll:
"And when you were hurt so badly by Varek, I...”

Tears began to fall from Indow’s eyes. Louis quickly moved in close and embraced her, holding her tenderly as she cried.

“I can’t lose you again, my love... I lost you once when I thought you were dead and I just can’t let it happen again!” she exclaimed between sobs.
Linkara beat up. Indow most affected.
No seriously. Looks like he's already back to his normal self.

And what does not remembering dreams have to do with worrying that your sweetheart will get atomic wedgies again?
“Indow, we won’t let it happen. You hear me? You and me are going to be side-by-side and we’re going to take on Varek and he’s going to regret ever having signed on with the Darkness to begin with. And you know what? It’s not just the two of us, either. Jordahn and Lithie and White Raven... hell, even Thesia will be standing with us and we won’t let anything happen. I promise you, kitten.” Louis reassured her.
See? His little crying orgy is already forgotten.
Also Thesia is totally gonna betray you.
Indow smiled and looked down to the copy of Infinite Crisis #1 that laid on the couch, sniffling a little as her tears began to stop. “I’ve lost myself in dreams like this here, Louis... Dreams of people flying about like birds and wielding powers that make the strongest sorcerers on Sin seem amateurish in comparison...”
It's a comic book, not a dream.
She looked up at Louis’ face and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “And you’re one of them, you know that?”

“One of what?”

“A ‘superhero.’ You defend the helpless, inspire others to great things, and never back down to evil.”

Louis smirked. “Heh. I suppose I am at that.”
I'm surprised you never drew that connection yourself.
I guess you were to busy comparing yourself to Jesus.
“By the way, I noticed a distinctively different style in the writing between the first Crisis story and this one here. But they were only a short twenty years apart...” Indow inquired.
Friendly reminder that she's about 150, but has the mental development of a 15-year-old.
Yeah, that’s Silver-Age writing style right there. Well, I say Silver-Age but really the Silver-Age ended with Gwen Stacy dying, so...”

“Silver-Age?” Indow interrupted.
Actually it's just "Silver Age". Also where the fuck is this discussion going? Can't you just go "Actually, 20 years are a huge time span here on Earth"? Does this have to turn into a proto-At4W episode?
“Ah, ever since comic books started publishing superhero material, people have named when there’s a certain turning point in the overall comics that demonstrated a switch from the previous era. It started with the Golden-Age with the earliest versions of characters like Superman or Batman. After several years, when superheroes had lost their popularity, the genre got revitalized by the reintroduction of characters from the Golden-Age with new origins and background information and whatnot. That was the start of the Silver-Age.
Wow, that actually sounds more or less correct-ish.
“The Silver-Age was marked mostly by, well, sometimes goofier stories but also more attention being paid to drama and giving the characters problems to overcome. Sometimes stories would be outright ridiculous while others had such a natural feel that some people could finally use comic books to relate to their own lives. But the Silver-Age ended the night Gwen Stacy died.” Louis explained.
Kinda forgot to mention the Comics Code, but whatever.
Also Gewn Stacy's death is one possible end point. There really isn't a general consensus on when exactly the Silver Age ended.
This shit is more of a gradual process. You can't just go "This specific issue was released, and suddenly everything was different!"
It's why everything from 1985 to Current Year is filed as some vague "Modern Age". This Age system only really works to give you a rough overview of past comic eras.
“Gwen Stacy?”

Louis nodded. “She was the romantic interest of a superhero named Spider-Man... he’s from a different universe from the books you’re reading here. Anyway, to make a long story short, she was thrown, unconscious, off of a bridge. Spider-Man tried to save her, but in his efforts, he accidentally killed her. Mind you, the real sad thing is that there was nothing he could’ve done to save her at all. She would’ve died when she hit the water and Spider-Man couldn’t have swung down in time to grab her. It marks the end of the Silver-Age because no longer could one ever guarantee that the hero was going to save the damsel in distress. It was a turning point to indicate the growing darkness in comics.”
Conan the Barbarian already had an ongoing comic series at Marvel by that point. I'm pretty sure he killed people left and right in that one.
“Growing darkness?”

“After the Silver-Age, comics started to focus more and more on trying to make themselves more ‘realistic.’"
They were just telling the Comics Code to go fuck itself.
"Realistic to them seemed to mean ‘let’s make everyone depressed and destroy their lives in varieties of ways while commenting on social and political issues.’"
I'm sure Peter Parker's life has been nothing but sunshine and rainbows before that infamous issue.
And I think I'm starting to understand why Linkara (the author) keeps complaining about angst in storytelling so much: Because he's pretty bad at writing about that himself. All he does is have his self-insert howl in impotent rage for one scene, and then he's back to being a smug asshole.
"This finally hit a head in the last twenty years or so, with the rise of the anti-hero and more focus on ‘events’ and ‘turning points’ than on actually telling good stories."
In Burger comics perhaps. European comics already had stories about straight-up villains long before this nonsense.
"Comics would advertise big changes that would ‘affect them for years to come,’ and then those events were quickly removed from continuity later. It was more about gimmicks and publicity stunts than compelling storylines. People died all the time just to add drama and then were brought back to life again shortly afterwards. ‘The revolving door of death’ they call it.”
LMAO this is more in-depth that most of his At4W output.
Also not very accurate. The fucking Joker got killed and resurrected in his first ever comic debut. In the Golden Age where Batman killed all the time.
“Well, that’s where a lot of debate and discussion still take place."
Just like with the Silver Age, btw.
"Most people call it the Bronze-Age leading up right to 1985 when Crisis on Infinite Earths happened. That’s when I think the Dark-Age began.” Louis speculated.
How about The Dark Knight Returns or Watchmen? Or Image Comics? They made the attitude of the Dork Age popular.
“And when did the Dark-Age end?”

“Well, some people would tell you it hasn’t ended, but personally I believe that with Infinite Crisis, we’re entering a new age away from the ‘grim and gritty’ likes of the Dark Age and more of an emphasis on good stories. I call it the Diamond-Age... albeit people aren’t exactly following me in it.”
Stop making this about Crisis. Nobody gives a fuck about Infinite Crisis anymore.
Also stop making up your own stupid terms for shit. It'll never catch on.

>emphasis on good stories
Image
“Why Diamond?”

“A few reasons. For starters, there’s the Diamond comic-shipping company that seems to have a lot of power over comic distribution. Also, like diamonds in the real world, while there are actually lots of them in the world, a few are sprinkled out into the world and are valuable in themselves as a result of it. I think things are going to get better from it from here on in.” Louis said, smiling.
Considering the previous ages where all named after the Ages of Man of Greek mythology, the current one should probably be the Iron Age. Or maybe the Heroic Age if you wanna use the five-age-model. In fact Marvel once used the latter as a cheap marketing gimmick.
You certainly don't jump up in "quality" because that'd be missing the entire point of the Ages of Man (the gods rebooting mankind in a more flawed way each time the previous attempt succumbed to hubris).
Though really this system doesn't work for current comics, as that shit is just a meandering mess of short-lived fads. Though you might argue that we're currently in the Woke Age, where every great hero needs to get a more diverse - and therefore superior - successor.
Also your weird rambling about diamonds is confusing and self-contradicting.
He then stood up from the couch and leaned over, kissing Indow’s cheek. “In any case, Indow, you should get some sleep. If you forget your dreams again, I’ll tell you mine in the morning.”
"I hope you like the Green M&M as much as I do."
Indow took hold of Louis’ arm and pulled him back down to the couch. “Please... sleep here, tonight? We need not do anything, I just want you here beside me...”
"It doesn't count if I just touch it with my hand!"
Louis smiled and nodded. Indow wrapped her arms around him and laid her head down on his shoulder, slowly falling asleep. Louis frowned as he looked up, taking in a deep breath as he hoped to himself that his Silver-Age didn’t end with the death of someone he loved...
I take it Rain is no longer a thing?
Just did a quick check and yep, looks like she ain't gonna be mentioned in this book.
And something's gonna happen to Indow, isn't it?

*
“You’re sure you’re all right?”

“For the ninth time, yes! I don’t need any pampering.”
"JFC. I cry like a literal toddler for one scene, and suddenly everyone thinks there's something wrong with me!"
Everyone slept in late that morning and got up to have a late pancake lunch in the afternoon.
The fuck is going on here? Shouldn't his medieval companions be used to waking up at first light?
Everyone was still worried over Louis’ heavy defeat at Varek’s hands and were trying to do everything possible to make sure Louis felt comfortable after it.
That was so last chapter. Get with the times, guys.
Louis, however, was getting sick and tired of everyone asking him about his state of mind and body.
Don't cry like a little bitch if you don't want to be treated like a little bitch.
And you know you're reading a quality story when the major inner-party conflict is people worrying too much about the self-insert protagonist.
While most of the group was working on preparing lunch or getting ready to eat it...
They're pancakes. All you really need is one person and a bit of time.
... Thesia and White Raven were concerned with matters of their own.
No pancakes for you, then.
They put themselves down in the basement, where White Raven was trying to use her meditation abilities to track Varek down.
Gee, I wonder if Zen Wikipedia will fail once again.
Thesia was there both to learn of White Raven’s rituals and also to serve as a tethering point for her to try to locate Varek.
Any reason why Indow never bothered to learn this shit?
They had been working on it for two hours before White Raven finally slapped her hands down on the floor and groaned in frustration.

“This is ridiculous!” she called it out in anger. “I cannot be expected to meditate without the aroma of my candles! And this world is constantly rejecting my techniques!”
Check out the First World problems on this chick :roll:
Thesia sat cross-legged from White Raven, blinking at her. “Well, we could always go outside with them, but I doubt the rain would work well with your fiery candles, either.”
Find a gazeebo.
As if to elucidate her point, the roar of thunder gave the home a light, unnerving shake. It had been raining all morning and it did not appear to be clearing up any time soon.
Why do you even suggest going outside when there's a full-on storm raging?
“What’s the harm in lighting some candles in this place, anyway? I frankly find these unnatural lights they hang above them quite disturbing.” White Raven grumbled.
Bitch you're an unloicensed spellcaster. You probably conjure balls of Eldritch light all the time.
“This isn’t about the meditation, Raven, it’s about Louis.” Thesia said matter-of-factly.
(He's totally not a Gary Stu, though.)
White Raven stopped and glared down at her. “If you are implying that in some way I cannot focus on meditations that I have been able to accomplish for decades just because a friend of mine was harmed severely in a fight...”
"Harmed severely"? Indow patched him up like 5 minutes after the fact.
She paused and bit her lower lip. Afterwards, she sighed and sat down on the futon behind her.

“...you’re right. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Indow and Louis have been hurt before, it’s never bothered me. For the sake of the heavens, Indow’s been raped and it never bothered me like this has.”
That's just the internalized misogyny endemic to the medieval rape culture you hail from.

Also The Rape Counter has increased (10 -> 11)
Thesia crawled over to the futon and slid up onto it, sitting beside White Raven. “How long have you been traveling with the boy?”

“We traveled together for nearly a year if you don’t count the time he spent in Sin’s past.” She answered.
Does this count as failing the Bechdel test?
“After everything you told me about your time with him, the defeat of the Darkness, the battle with the Kelitrat,...
Really? You single out that giant tentacle monster that got one-shotted by Indow as some major milestone of this series?
"... overcoming even your dark demons within your mind, let’s face it – you admire and love him as a brother, companion, and protector."
"This Linkara guy sure is cool, isn't he?"
:roll:
"He has battled and won every major conflict you’ve seen him face and now suddenly he’s encountered a force that has not only beaten him, but was within an inch of killing him if not for Indow’s rescue. You’re scared for him because there is potential for Louis to be really killed.”
He and the rest of you got captured all the time in Book 1, and the only reason you're not dead or maimed already is because plot convenience demanded the Dark Knights go through painful lengths to capture all of you alive and unharmed.
“It’s more than that.” White Raven whispered, her eyes looking down at her hands as she listened to Thesia.

“What do you mean?”

“This is partially my fault.”

“What?”
This better be about how she was paranoid about Myrrha's evil schemes, yet did nothing about them and instantly gave up before her investigations could properly start.
“I wasn’t going to come with Louis to Earth at first. After he helped liberate Soyah and the former Dark Knights from Myrrha’s hold over them, I half-dedicated myself to the idea of chasing after her and stopping whatever plot she was no doubt working on. Instead I chose to remain with my friends and, as a result, Varek was able to come to this world to kill Louis.” White Raven explained.
Called it.
Though I was hoping for a bit of an in-universe justification for what was clearly an authorial mandate to keep the fellowship together at all costs, logic be damned.
“You can’t be certain that Myrrha and Varek were working together.” Thesia stated.
"They're only the last two remaining evil Dark Knights!"
“Oh, but I can.” White Raven clenched her teeth, her fists balling up in her lap.
Tell her, sistah!
“Louis said that Varek claimed to have the Black Oracle in his possession, that that was why he had access to powerful magicks. It took us months find a spell that would take us to Earth, but even then it was with a stroke of luck, otherwise it would’ve taken us another year or two if we had gone ahead with our plan of searching the entire continent of Aigol."
And, you know, there was that distinct chance of such a spell not existing at all. The only reason you went to that other continent in the first place was because your knowledge of the place was just vague enough that such a spell could potentially exist somewhere.
"The Black Oracle must have had knowledge of a way to get to Earth or some kind of spell that took him there. There was only one copy of the Black Oracle and that belonged to Myrrha. If I had gone in pursuit of Myrrha like I’d originally intended, this wouldn’t have happened. Louis would be safe and Varek would be no more a threat than any other Dark Knight.”
Oh, I thought Myrrha was completely harmless after she actively stopped you from zen-googling her whereabouts.
Thesia tried to calm her down: “But there’s no guarantee you’d be able to track them! At least now that you’re here, you can be of good use against Varek the next time we face him-”
Didn't you claim previously the only reason he hasn't killed you before was due to the convenient timing of his master blob's demise?
White Raven interrupted her: “I am an expert tracker and hunter, Thesia!"
The the speed with which you gave up on Myrrha tells a different story.
"There is no place in heaven or on Sin that I could not find her! No dark corner that she could have shrouded herself in, no cave too deep for her to bury herself in!"
That sounded a lot different last book.
"But because I was lonely and did not wish to abandon my friends, I may have doomed my closest companion!”
Clingy little bitch :roll:
Thesia slapped White Raven across the face, much to her surprise.
Image

I was worried I had missed my chance for a Bright Slap.
“Get a hold of yourself, Raven! Your misplaced guilt will do you no good!"
It kinda is her fault?
"I thought it was in your faith that whatever happens will happen and you must learn to live with it?"
That's not a good excuse for intentional inaction after getting paranoid about the potential consequences of said intentional inaction.
Also WTF is her faith supposed to be? This is like the second time Raven's "faith" is brought up without any elaboration. She just has a faith, end of story.
If you wallow in self-pity, all you will do is be a liability to us all when we need you.
For what it's worth she hasn't really contributed much to anything in this series. Even the grand Dark Knight arc in Book 2 had her be a glorified passive observer.
"I may not yet have fully developed my own purpose in life..."
(Beyond committing war crimes and not feeling bad about it)
"... but I suggest you get yours back on track before we face my former partner, because when the time comes and I need to plunge my sword through his black heart, I don’t want to suddenly have to worry that the arrows from your quiver aren’t going as straight as they should be!” She proclaimed.
You've lost already if you're banking on her contribution to the fight.
White Raven, still surprised by the slap, blinked and looked over at Thesia, the former Conqueror glaring back at her. “You intend to be the one who slays Varek?”
Kill-stealing bitch.
“It’s only fitting. All I need is for that boy upstairs to-”

“Hey!” Lithmenar called down from the main level. “Are you two coming up here or are you going to sit down there and annoy us while we’re trying to eat?!”
"This scene not featuring the Great Linkara has gone on long enough!"

Also they're in the basement. Nigga, just close the door if their antics are too loud for your delicate ears.
The two women looked at each other, blushing slightly as they hadn’t realized they had been raising their voices so much. The two remained silent for several seconds afterwards. Thesia was the one who finally decided to break it:

“Lunch?”

White Raven smiled and nodded. “Let’s.”
Image
Next Time: Another multi-part chapter thing - except this time the individual parts are back-to-back. Okay.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

4 wikia: static -> vignette

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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Fri Jun 20, 2025 8:40 pm

Book 4, Chapter 8 - Missing Things I
(Or: Stuff Happens, Part 1)



We are blessed with the first part of a two-parter that's not spread over the book. Instead it's more of an extra-large chapter with a (probably dumb) cliffhanger at the halfway point.
I assume that after their absence last chapter, this is where the Dark Duo will strike once again. At least I hope it will involve the villains, 'cause any time our heroes are left to themselves they just split up into different groups to spout inane dialogue at each other.

"Baddies Never Smile" Count: 21
And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.
RecapShow
Image

Yeah, this was pretty darn filler-tastic.
Okay, besides the casual reminder that Indow got raped, which was a real blast from the past.

Indow starts getting obsessed with capeshit comics, of course focusing entirely on big, dumb multi-crossover event stories, aka the worst possible entry point for a complete capeshit n00b.
Linkara uses this as the perfect excuse to start a biased lecture about the various ages of (capeshit) comic books, aka one of the worst possible history lessons for a complete capeshit n00b.
He doesn't appear to understand why the various ages are named the way they are, but that doesn't stop him from proposing a name for the new age: The Diamond Age, in honor of the strangehold that Diamond Comics Distributor, Inc. has had on the US comics industry for decades. Okay.
Also we may or may not have gotten subtle foreshadowing to Indow getting kidnapped or something in this chapter. Hard to tell with the sperging.

Meanwhile, Raven and Thesia are having some quality alone time to at first assure each other of how cool Linkara is - and then promptly get into a loud argument over whether or not Raven should feel bad for letting the last evil Dark Knights do whatever the fuck they want even though she's also the only person worried about what the last evil Dark Knights might do if you let them do whatever the fuck they want.
If you hoped for an in-universe explanation for what was clearly an authorial mandate to keep the fellowship together at all costs, you'll be disappointed. The closest we get is a short "I just wanted to be with my friends :|"
Also apparently Raven's undisclosed faith has "Whatever happens will happen, so whatever LMAO" as a teaching, which comes across as a particular dumb interpretation of fate/destiny - especially when it's used to justify Raven's active decision to not do anything about Myrrha despite her own paranoia.
ChapterShow
“It makes no sense whatsoever.”

“This is going to turn into the chess thing all over again, isn’t it?”

Perhaps that was just a game, but this is different! This is an entire universe with people and locations and an entire history behind it! It needs to make sense or else it’s not worth watching.”

“Ever hear of ‘suspension of disbelief?’”

“No and if it has anything more to do with this nonsensical program, I do believe I’ll just have to hurt you, my love.”

“What are you two talking about?”

Lithmenar had entered the living room where Indow and Louis sat, watching TV. Louis paused the program and pointed at it to indicate what the subject of their discussion was. Another day had passed without incident and everyone was starting to feel a little better about Louis’ near-death at the hands of Varek. White Raven and Thesia had gone out on their own in an attempt to hunt down the Destroyer, but had failed to turn up any results other than several loose magic trails in St. Paul.

“We’re watching a show and Indow is being nitpicky again.” Louis replied, rolling his eyes.

“What are you watching?” Lithmenar queried.

Sailor Moon.” He answered.

Indow grumbled and rolled her eyes. “It makes no sense. They use magical abilities, but there seems to be no rules or regulations behind it. On top of that, it takes the girl a full minute for her sorceress outfit to appear over her body! What are her enemies doing, just standing there and tapping their feet?!”

Louis reached over and patted Indow’s shoulder. “Believe it or not, you’re not the first person to make that criticism. Just sit back and enjoy the magical girls-”

“IT’S NOT MAGICAL!” Indow yelled, crossing her arms and scowling at the TV screen.

Louis smirked and narrowed his eyes at her. “Either sit back and watch the show peacefully or else I won’t let you finish watching Slayers Next.”

Indow’s eyes opened wide and her ears perked up. She snapped her head over to look in Louis’ direction and then bit her lower lip.

“I’ll be good!” she replied.

Louis chuckled and sat back, reaching for the remote so he could continue playing the DVD. However, just as he was about to hit the button, the phone in the kitchen rang. As Lithmenar sat down on the couch, Louis sighed and got up, walking into the kitchen and answering the phone.

“Hello?” he spoke.

Lithmenar reached over to grab the remote and start watching, himself.

“Oh, hey, Code Poet! I’m sorry, I’ve been meaning to call you after Varek attacked.” Louis spoke.

Indow grabbed the remote from out of Lithmenar’s grasp, sticking her tongue out at him teasingly.

“What do you mean? What’s on the news?”

Lithmenar glared at Indow as she just smiled and kept the remote ready for when Louis came back. Louis walked back into the room with the phone still in his hand and politely gestured for Indow to hand him the remote. She gave it over to him as he brought it back to live TV, changing channels to one of the local networks. The three gasped as they looked at the video from one of the on-screen cameras.

The scrolling text on the bottom of the screen indicated that the footage was coming from midtown St. Paul, focusing on an intersection that was no longer there. Instead, what was there appeared to be a scrambled mishmash of colors. Most of it was white, green, and a very light purple, but the really odd thing about it was the fact that the mashing of color wasn’t in swirls or splotches, but in very small rectangular sections, like a noise effect used in a program like Paint Shop Pro or Photoshop. Even though it could’ve been an effect due to the image on his television set, Louis could tell one certain thing about the mass: it was pixilated [sic]. What was worse was that Louis recognized it.

Louis at first thought that it was just a trick of his memories or senses, but then the TV made a sound. The reporter on the scene said that the noise had been occurring every few minutes since the mass had appeared – a high-pitched shriek, almost like nails on a chalkboard had been mixed with the shriek of an angry bird. On top of that, the noise almost sounded as if it were coming out of a low-grade computer speaker, with a bit of static noise added into it.

Louis looked over to Lithmenar, who was still blinking in surprise. “Get the others! Tell them to get over here! We’re going to head out!”

Lithmenar nodded and ran out of the room in search of Louis’ other companions. Louis winced and looked back at the TV, whispering a name to himself:

“Missing Number...”

*

Varek put down the binoculars he had been using to watch the growing mass of static in the street and crossed his arms. His face was scowling, as always, but now he had a good reason for it. His hair was now almost entirely blue save for darkened areas at the roots. However, while the return of his hair to its natural hue was irritating, the fact that this unknown being had appeared was more than enough cause for concern for him. On top of that, he had a good idea of where it had come from.

The Darkbringer walked up alongside him, wincing as he set down the Black Oracle. Varek glanced down at the book the Darkness had written and then over at Darkbringer, the sweat on his knight’s head confirming his suspicions – the Darkbringer had been responsible for creating the monstrosity.

“What did you do?” he asked.

Darkbringer didn’t even try to deny his guilt. “I was attempting to summon a demon that might aide us in fighting the Linkara without trying to find new recruits so soon.”

Varek raised an eyebrow and turned his head to look at the Darkbringer. “You tried a Summoning spell?”

Darkbringer nodded.

Varek turned his body so he was facing his knight, glaring down at him like a parent scolding a child.

“I am most satisfied with your ability to assimilate so much knowledge from the Black Oracle in such a short amount of time. I am also quite satisfied with how you have been teaching me many of the ways of this dismal world, but bear in mind, Darkbringer, that you know very little of the forces you are tampering with! The Darkness’ spells were never designed to be used on this planet! On top of that, while he may have designed most of these spells to be used by the simplest of soldiers, they are still SPELLS and neither of us are magicians!

“Magic is not some sword you can pick up and swing around with ease! It is a force of nature, with science and rules behind it that take even the most sophisticated of Sorcerers years to master! We have been very lucky so far that none of the spells we’ve used here have torn us apart! Magical energy on its own is not harmful to living things, but if concentrated, it can melt your flesh and boil your blood! This world is not Sin therefore it does not operate under the same rules as Sin with the magic energy! As I said, we have been lucky so far. Did you think I hadn’t thought of using the Summoning spell myself? I have been very careful with every new spell I have been attempting, making sure nothing goes wrong with their executions. Do not toy with the Black Oracle’s spells again without my consent or be prepared to suffer the consequences!” Varek growled."

The Darkbringer nodded and bowed respectfully. “Yes, my liege. What are your orders?”

Varek looked back towards the direction of the static mass. He raised an eyebrow as he saw six human-sized figures flying through the air towards the being that the Darkbringer had summoned and reasoned that it was Louis and his companions.

“You may yet be able to redeem yourself for your failure, Darkbringer. The Linkara is moving towards the being you created.” Varek stated.

“Shall we attack, then?” Varek shook his head.

“No. If the being destroys him, our vengeance is complete and we shall continue forth with our plans. If not, he will be in a weaker state, at least, and it will be that much easier to destroy him. Come, we must prepare ourselves for the coming battle – whether it be against the Linkara or the creature you have summoned.”

Varek turned around and began walking away towards the exit so he could get down from the roof, picking up his binoculars and the Black Oracle on his way. Darkbringer looked back in the direction of the static mass, narrowing his eyes a bit to try to get a closer focus on it.

“I wonder what it is that I’ve created...”

*

“Why did you call it ‘Missing Number?’” Lithmenar asked.

“It looks like Missing Number, it sounds like Missing Number. Okay, technically it’s Missing-No-Period, but it’s easier and makes more sense to say ‘Missing Number.’” Louis answered.

While Louis’ parents were reluctant to let him leave the house again in fear of another attack from Varek, the group reassured them by stating that they’d be going with Louis to ensure he had plenty of assistance in case Varek should attack again, especially since they now knew how to enter the magic sub-dimension the Destroyer had used earlier to try to screen him from his friends. Thanks to Thesia’s own sorcery, each of the group was able to carry someone else so they could fly towards what Louis had dubbed ‘Missing Number.’

“But what is Missing Number is what I believe Lithmenar was trying to figure out.” Indow stated.

Louis thought for a moment on how to explain it in the simplest terms he could, then spoke, “Several years ago, there was this video game released. I told you about video games, right? Okay. This particular type of game is called a ‘role-playing game,’ where you play as a character in a fictional world with its own history, people, and all that stuff. Well, in this game, you had the ability to summon up monsters to use in battle against other people, who had their own set of monsters. Except this game had... well, a glitch.”

“A what?” White Raven asked.

“A glitch. It’s what happens when the written code of a program has some kind of fault or mistake in it that causes an error.” Lithmenar explained.

“What, do you think I’d learn all about those wonderful computer devices this world has and not study up on basic terms?” he asked smugly.

“Anyway, the program’s code had 151 different monsters in the game, but they had 256 slots that they could have used for monsters. They basically used up a bunch of those slots with information on people or other such things, but the unused ones were assigned just to display the word ‘MissingNo.,’ which is shorthand for ‘Missing Number.’ While the reason of why it appears is more complicated than that, the fact is that you could take advantage of the glitch and fight this little static image, it kind of looked like an inverted-L shape, called Missing Number. It was an easy cheat to get some nifty stuff for your game, but...”

Louis bit his lower lip before he continued. “Well, a glitch is still a glitch and an error is still an error. The thing was notorious for screwing up sections of the game, especially if you tried to catch the thing. The game wasn’t designed to allow the thing to work and it could corrupt the data of the game.”

“How did this... error manifest in this world, though? And how do you even know it’s the same thing?” Jordahn asked.

“That sound it’s making? It’s the same one that Missing Number made in the game when you saw it. It creeps me out. Hell, even the original glitch creeps me out.” Louis responded.

“Why?” White Raven inquired.

“I really don’t know. There’s just something about it... this feeling that it’s completely unnatural, that it doesn’t belong at all and if I make some mistake with it, it’ll destroy something I worked hard on. It’s just creepy, is all.” Louis explained.

“Shouldn’t we be afraid of the local militia taking offense to our presence?” Indow wondered aloud.

“Alice said on the phone that the FBI and the local police are keeping people three hundred feet away from the thing and out of sight range, even the cops themselves. They’re not taking any chances with it. The camera shots they got are from when the thing first arrived and they hadn’t set up a cordon around it.” Louis replied.

“By the way, why are you wearing that ridiculous thing on your face?” Thesia asked.

Thesia was referring to the golden mask that covered Louis’ upper face, although it was opened up for his eyes to see through. The mask came down from the coronet around his head, ending just where his ears were.

“Because if I wear it anywhere else, it chafes.” Louis answered, giggling slightly.

“What?” Lithmenar asked, not getting the joke.

Louis rolled his eyes. “Remind me to have you guys watch Real Genius before we go back to Sin...”

“It was my idea.” Indow explained. “Louis was worried that people might recognize him if any cameras were close to the area. While it won’t be a problem for the rest of us, since we technically do not exist here, we do not want attention being drawn on Louis by the news authorities.”

“We’re coming up on it now. Stay sharp.” Louis ordered, taking charge.

The six descended towards the monstrosity before them, the tell-tale shriek coming out once again. The blob of static didn’t appear to be moving or doing anything, it merely sat in the middle of the road, touching all four sidewalk corners of the street. The streets all had two lanes for each direction with no shoulder, indicating just how large the creature was. The pixels on its body seemed to shift every once in awhile, but nothing seemed to indicate that it was even aware of anything else around it.

The six dropped down on the northernmost street ten feet away from Missing Number, preparing themselves for battle. While White Raven and Lithmenar pulled out a bow and throwing knives respectively, Indow’s hands charged with green energy, preparing herself for an Amplify spell. Thesia held her arm up in the air and shaped her hand as if she were holding a sword. Red energy spilled forth from her hand, extending up before the energy faded away, leaving behind an arming sword with a red hilt. The hilt itself was designed fancifully, as if it were more a decoration than something to be utilized. Jordahn swung her axe around to test its balance while the blades from Louis’ gauntlets crackled with electricity.

Louis raised an eyebrow as he stared at Missing Number and looked over at Indow. “You know, a thought occurs – do we actually know if this thing is hostile?”

All of a sudden, a tendril made of the same material as Missing Number lashed out at Louis, who just barely managed to move his body to the side. The tendril landed in the street behind them, piercing through it. The tendril just as quickly retracted back into Missing Number’s ‘body.’

“Definitely hostile!” Lithmenar proclaimed and tossed a throw knife straight at the garbled mass of static.

The knife hit right on target, but instead of puncturing Missing Number, it merely froze upon contact with it, the static of its body spreading out and covering the knife in the pixilated design. Lithmenar blinked and exchanged glances with the others.

“Right, don’t let it touch you!” Louis proclaimed as he went airborne, flapping his wings and flying above the creature.

Missing Number sent out a tendril at each of the attacking forces and each countered in their own particular way. Lithmenar leaped out of the way at the one sent at him, letting the attack merely hit the ground once again and retract away slightly. Jordahn, sadly, was not as agile. However, she saw the attack coming and slammed the blade of her axe against the tendril. However, the instant it touched the static of Missing Number, the weapon began to be consumed as the throwing knife had earlier. She tossed the axe away just as the handle was engulfed in pixels.

White Raven managed to dodge the attack sent at her and began releasing a slew of arrows at Missing Number, each one hitting their target but all were absorbed by the same effect that had ensnared the throwing knife and axe. Missing Number’s tendril suddenly lashed around her neck, much to her shock and horror. She screamed in pain as she felt the static effect all ready taking hold of her, a cold sensation spreading from her neck and across her entire body.

“RAVEN!” Thesia screamed as she ran for her friend.

A tendril reached out to grab Thesia, but the blonde former- conqueror slashed her sword across the attacking limb and, surprisingly, sliced it away without any problem to her own weapon. She knelt down beside White Raven’s static-infested body, purple and orange pixels racing across her body and forming into rectangles before they broke off and continued on.

The tendril that made its move against Indow found the Anako Priestess protected by her Amplify spell. Indow smirked as she formed fireballs in her hands, launching them quickly out at Missing Number in the hope that it would do some damage to the creature. She realized that due to the difference in magical physics on Earth, her Amplify spell was doubling as a defensive shield for her while still powering up the intensity of her own spells. She winced, however, as she saw each fireball collide into Missing Number with no effect.

Multiple attacks were made on Louis and he was having a hard time fighting back. While the electric defenses of the armor were managing to aide in slicing away at the tendrils, the fact that so many of them were going for him made it difficult to fend them off for much longer. He gazed over at Indow and gasped as he saw a tendril pop up from the ground under her, well inside the Amplify spell, and grab onto her leg. Louis was about to yell out to warn her, but all of a sudden a tendril wrapped around his neck and a cold feeling began to run through his skin.

Thesia looked over to the others and winced as she saw Lithmenar and Jordahn both eventually get snagged by Missing Number, their flesh replaced by the random pixilation [sic]. Even Louis fell to the ground beside them, his armor untouched but his skin covered by the patterns of the being. She stood up and looked to Indow, who had fallen, as well. Thesia narrowed her eyes at Missing Number and raised her sword. She wasn’t sure why or how it was that she or her weapon was immune to it, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t feel or hear White Raven breathing, so she suspected she was dead. And if the only people who had shown her compassion as of late were dead, she was going to make certain that the beast responsible for it paid for its crime.

And so she charged at Missing Number...
RiffingShow
“It makes no sense whatsoever.”
I don't think I could summarize this entire series better if I tried.
“This is going to turn into the chess thing all over again, isn’t it?”

Perhaps that was just a game, but this is different! This is an entire universe with people and locations and an entire history behind it! It needs to make sense or else it’s not worth watching.”
Oh, I get it. This is the infamous scene where Indow bitches about Sailor Moon, isn't it? I wasn't aware how that scene started.
“Ever hear of ‘suspension of disbelief?’”

“No and if it has anything more to do with this nonsensical program, I do believe I’ll just have to hurt you, my love.”
Really? This is where Indow starts getting uppity? Because some Japanese cartoon is unrealistic?

I fear I ask this every time Indow is at the center of some hilarious skit, but is she on the spectrum or something? She's 150-ish years old and should be well-educated due to being both a priest and a sorcerer - and yet she keeps taking everything way too literally. Are fiction and abstract thought just not a thing on Sin?
“What are you two talking about?”
I had that thought more than once while doing this shit...
“What are you two talking about?”

Lithmenar had entered the living room where Indow and Louis sat, watching TV. Louis paused the program and pointed at it to indicate what the subject of their discussion was.
Ah, another "Character interrupts other characters sperging about the TV program" scene. This is like the third one already. How exciting.
And I know being able to pause the program is cool and all, but these discussions always revolve around the program you just paused. Just keep it going so the intruding character can actually experience WTF you're going on about. JFC, is this behavior normal in the Lovhaug household?
Another day had passed without incident and everyone was starting to feel a little better about Louis’ near-death at the hands of Varek.
Boy, I sure am thrilled to know that one of the most dramatic moments in this series has had such far-reaching consequences.
White Raven and Thesia had gone out on their own in an attempt to hunt down the Destroyer, but had failed to turn up any results other than several loose magic trails in St. Paul.
How long until Raven starts arguing that Varek is probably harmless now?
“We’re watching a show and Indow is being nitpicky again.” Louis replied, rolling his eyes.
Being a nitpicky little bitch sure is annoying when other people do it, eh?
“What are you watching?” Lithmenar queried.

Sailor Moon.” He answered.
I'm pretty sure he can't really do much with that short an answer, unless he had to suffer through Linkara sperging about Sailor Moon during one of their many campfire nights on Sin.
Indow grumbled and rolled her eyes. “It makes no sense. They use magical abilities, but there seems to be no rules or regulations behind it."
They string together nonsense words to make magic attacks happen - just like you. How are their Burning Mandalas any more nonsensical than your Holy Life-Givers?
"On top of that, it takes the girl a full minute for her sorceress outfit to appear over her body!"
That's literally what your sweetheart is doing with his armor - except it takes even longer, it actually happens in real-time, and since at least this book he never bothers with the full set for some reason.
"What are her enemies doing, just standing there and tapping their feet?!”
It doesn't happen in real-time.
And who are you to judge people for taking too long with their magic? You spend 90% of every fight reciting some way too long Genkidama or Kamehameha spell, and the only reason your enemies leave you alone is because you're hiding behind a quasi-invincible force field.
Louis reached over and patted Indow’s shoulder. “Believe it or not, you’re not the first person to make that criticism. Just sit back and enjoy the magical girls-”

“IT’S NOT MAGICAL!” Indow yelled, crossing her arms and scowling at the TV screen.
Image

(Somehow, this is the biggest crisis their relationship has ever faced.)
Louis smirked and narrowed his eyes at her. “Either sit back and watch the show peacefully or else I won’t let you finish watching Slayers Next.”

Indow’s eyes opened wide and her ears perked up. She snapped her head over to look in Louis’ direction and then bit her lower lip.

“I’ll be good!” she replied.
"Get the fuck outta here, Sailor Moon! Slayers is the herald of how real magick works!"
Image

I'd hate to be that guy, but the "attack magic" shown in Sailor Moon and Slayers are effectively the same thing, except in Slayers you get the occasional "Shamanism is super effective/ineffective against this guy because of his creature type!"
Sure, Lina doesn't henshin, but instead her finishers take like a full minute where her enemies do nothing besides standing there and tapping their feet - even when they're standing right in front of her and are fully aware of what she's doing.

And are you suggesting that the Sinnian school of magic sees nothing weird about a literal lightsaber, giant robots with tits and this:

(I'd love to know who greenlit this horrible tracing.)
Louis chuckled and sat back, reaching for the remote so he could continue playing the DVD. However, just as he was about to hit the button, the phone in the kitchen rang.
Hey, look. The plot being advanced due to a convenient phone call. Linkara (the author) is really using this brand new setting to its full potential here.
As Lithmenar sat down on the couch, Louis sighed and got up, walking into the kitchen and answering the phone.

“Hello?” he spoke.

Lithmenar reached over to grab the remote and start watching, himself.
Add that last one to the list of filler sentences, yourself.
“Oh, hey, Code Poet! I’m sorry, I’ve been meaning to call you after Varek attacked.” Louis spoke.
Shit, I'm surprised Linkara's muggle friends are still a thing.
Then again the Code Poet is special because of the oh-so important crossover connection with The Lightbringer :roll:
Indow grabbed the remote from out of Lithmenar’s grasp, sticking her tongue out at him teasingly.
Image
“What do you mean? What’s on the news?”
Looks like Dark Scientology has made its first move :o
Lithmenar glared at Indow as she just smiled and kept the remote ready for when Louis came back.
Lithmenar's contribution to this scene has been most valuable.
Louis walked back into the room with the phone still in his hand and politely gestured for Indow to hand him the remote.
Image
She gave it over to him as he brought it back to live TV, changing channels to one of the local networks. The three gasped as they looked at the video from one of the on-screen cameras.
Image

Horrifying, I know. Would you believe she's even fatter now?
The scrolling text on the bottom of the screen indicated that the footage was coming from midtown St. Paul, focusing on an intersection that was no longer there.
How does one focus on that which is no longer there?
Instead, what was there appeared to be a scrambled mishmash of colors.
Did the Dark Duo attack an ice cream truck or something?
Most of it was white, green, and a very light purple, but the really odd thing about it was the fact that the mashing of color wasn’t in swirls or splotches, but in very small rectangular sections, like a noise effect used in a program like Paint Shop Pro or Photoshop.
Image
Even though it could’ve been an effect due to the image on his television set, Louis could tell one certain thing about the mass: it was pixilated [sic].
(I assume this is a typo and he meant pixelated, "pixilated" is an actual word, but probably not what he had in mind.)
What was worse was that Louis recognized it.
This is gonna hurt, isn't it?
Louis at first thought that it was just a trick of his memories or senses, but then the TV made a sound. The reporter on the scene said that the noise had been occurring every few minutes since the mass had appeared – a high-pitched shriek, almost like nails on a chalkboard had been mixed with the shriek of an angry bird. On top of that, the noise almost sounded as if it were coming out of a low-grade computer speaker, with a bit of static noise added into it.
Image

This better not be what I think this is.
Louis looked over to Lithmenar, who was still blinking in surprise. “Get the others! Tell them to get over here! We’re going to head out!”

Lithmenar nodded and ran out of the room in search of Louis’ other companions. Louis winced and looked back at the TV, whispering a name to himself:

“Missing Number...”
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Fucking really? I've heard rumors of MissingNo. making an appearance in this book, but I thought it would be in a mind battle. Instead it just pops out with no warning or anything? Fictional nonsense can just show up IRL now?

*
Varek put down the binoculars he had been using to watch the growing mass of static in the street and crossed his arms. His face was scowling, as always, but now he had a good reason for it.
Yeah, this world is getting decidely too silly.
His hair was now almost entirely blue save for darkened areas at the roots.
I hope a hypothetical graphic novel adaptation will keep accurate track of his hair color change.
However, while the return of his hair to its natural hue was irritating, the fact that this unknown being had appeared was more than enough cause for concern for him.
Eh. A natural hair color change. Some digital glitch monster manifesting itself in the real world. Same difference.
On top of that, he had a good idea of where it had come from.
I see he has studied the ancient Earth game known as Pokemon.
The Darkbringer walked up alongside him, wincing as he set down the Black Oracle.
You guys should invest in some nice furniture to rest your Bible.
Varek glanced down at the book the Darkness had written and then over at Darkbringer, the sweat on his knight’s head confirming his suspicions – the Darkbringer had been responsible for creating the monstrosity.
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So you grant this random guy the powers of darkness, and the first thing he does is try to make Pokemon real?
“What did you do?” he asked.
"You don't understand! I just wanted to fuck Misty!"
Darkbringer didn’t even try to deny his guilt. “I was attempting to summon a demon that might aide us in fighting the Linkara without trying to find new recruits so soon.”

Varek raised an eyebrow and turned his head to look at the Darkbringer. “You tried a Summoning spell?”

Darkbringer nodded.
Could've gone worse, I guess...
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“I am most satisfied with your ability to assimilate so much knowledge from the Black Oracle in such a short amount of time. I am also quite satisfied with how you have been teaching me many of the ways of this dismal world, but bear in mind, Darkbringer, that you know very little of the forces you are tampering with! The Darkness’ spells were never designed to be used on this planet! On top of that, while he may have designed most of these spells to be used by the simplest of soldiers, they are still SPELLS and neither of us are magicians!
Oh, so now casting spells on Earth is problematic? They seem to work just fine when you do them, but as soon as the Dorkbringer tries them out he breaks reality.
“Magic is not some sword you can pick up and swing around with ease! It is a force of nature, with science and rules behind it that take even the most sophisticated of Sorcerers years to master!"
Except it kinda sounded like that when you bragged about the Darkness' superior super spells.
"We have been very lucky so far that none of the spells we’ve used here have torn us apart!"
You sound like you're trying to nerf yourself.
Did Linkara (the author) realize it was a mistake to make Varek a spellcaster?
"Magical energy on its own is not harmful to living things, but if concentrated, it can melt your flesh and boil your blood!"
Much like how too much waifu will ruin your laifu.
"This world is not Sin therefore it does not operate under the same rules as Sin with the magic energy!"
How do you know that?
"As I said, we have been lucky so far. Did you think I hadn’t thought of using the Summoning spell myself? I have been very careful with every new spell I have been attempting, making sure nothing goes wrong with their executions. Do not toy with the Black Oracle’s spells again without my consent or be prepared to suffer the consequences!” Varek growled."
Trick question: Do you have to specify what you're trying to summon, or does some thing just show up? What did the Dorkbringer intend to summon, anyways?
Varek looked back towards the direction of the static mass. He raised an eyebrow as he saw six human-sized figures flying through the air towards the being that the Darkbringer had summoned and reasoned that it was Louis and his companions.
Aren't you keeping track where Linkara is atm? How did you run into him the first time if you're not doing that?
“You may yet be able to redeem yourself for your failure, Darkbringer. The Linkara is moving towards the being you created.” Varek stated.

“Shall we attack, then?” Varek shook his head.

“No. If the being destroys him, our vengeance is complete and we shall continue forth with our plans. If not, he will be in a weaker state, at least, and it will be that much easier to destroy him. Come, we must prepare ourselves for the coming battle – whether it be against the Linkara or the creature you have summoned.”
I don't see that happening. He'll just dodge MissingNo's attacks for a bit until Indow is done charging her Bootleg Slave.
Varek turned around and began walking away towards the exit so he could get down from the roof, picking up his binoculars and the Black Oracle on his way. Darkbringer looked back in the direction of the static mass, narrowing his eyes a bit to try to get a closer focus on it.
You should try jumping from rooftop to rooftop like Lithmenar.
“I wonder what it is that I’ve created...”
A Digimon, I think.

*
“Why did you call it ‘Missing Number?’” Lithmenar asked.
Shouldn't you be asking what it is? Whatever it's called ain't important.
“It looks like Missing Number, it sounds like Missing Number. Okay, technically it’s Missing-No-Period, but it’s easier and makes more sense to say ‘Missing Number.’” Louis answered.
Quick user poll: How do you pronounce "MissingNo."? I've always went with "missingno" because it sounds less lame and more like an actual monster name than "missing number".

Also good to know that the useless question got a useless answer. I guess Linkara (the author) just wanted to bless us with the true-and-honest way to say the name.
While Louis’ parents were reluctant to let him leave the house again in fear of another attack from Varek, the group reassured them by stating that they’d be going with Louis to ensure he had plenty of assistance in case Varek should attack again, especially since they now knew how to enter the magic sub-dimension the Destroyer had used earlier to try to screen him from his friends.
Also Indow is the main breadwinner of the team.
Thanks to Thesia’s own sorcery, each of the group was able to carry someone else so they could fly towards what Louis had dubbed ‘Missing Number.’
Convenient. Though how come she's so much better at this flying business than Indow?
“But what is Missing Number is what I believe Lithmenar was trying to figure out.” Indow stated.
Except that's not how he phrased it at all.
Louis thought for a moment on how to explain it in the simplest terms he could, then spoke, “Several years ago, there was this video game released. I told you about video games, right?"
Oh, I bet his fellowship has been thoroughly educated on Nekopara.
"Okay. This particular type of game is called a ‘role-playing game,’ where you play as a character in a fictional world with its own history, people, and all that stuff. Well, in this game, you had the ability to summon up monsters to use in battle against other people, who had their own set of monsters. Except this game had... well, a glitch.”
Can't you just keep it at "This is a fictional being that shouldn't exist in the real world"? You just seem to be coming up with explanations that need further explanations themselves.
“A what?” White Raven asked.

“A glitch. It’s what happens when the written code of a program has some kind of fault or mistake in it that causes an error.” Lithmenar explained.

“What, do you think I’d learn all about those wonderful computer devices this world has and not study up on basic terms?” he asked smugly.
I bet he already knows where to download the best futa hentai for free.

Also errors are a possible effect of a glitch. In a more general sense they cause unintended behavior.
“Anyway, the program’s code had 151 different monsters in the game, but they had 256 slots that they could have used for monsters. They basically used up a bunch of those slots with information on people or other such things, but the unused ones were assigned just to display the word ‘MissingNo.,’ which is shorthand for ‘Missing Number.’ While the reason of why it appears is more complicated than that..."
Your explanation is already too complicated and specific.
They don't need to know about monster slots and shit. Just say the game looks for monster data at the wrong spot and tries to make sense of what it finds there.
"... the fact is that you could take advantage of the glitch and fight this little static image, it kind of looked like an inverted-L shape, called Missing Number. It was an easy cheat to get some nifty stuff for your game, but...”
Actually there are four shapes it can have by exploiting the same glitch, depending on the player's chosen name, only one of which looks like garbled nonsense.
Louis bit his lower lip before he continued. “Well, a glitch is still a glitch and an error is still an error. The thing was notorious for screwing up sections of the game, especially if you tried to catch the thing. The game wasn’t designed to allow the thing to work and it could corrupt the data of the game.”
Oh no, the Hall of Fame screen got corrupted. The horror.
“How did this... error manifest in this world, though? And how do you even know it’s the same thing?” Jordahn asked.

“That sound it’s making? It’s the same one that Missing Number made in the game when you saw it. It creeps me out. Hell, even the original glitch creeps me out.” Louis responded.
"I am scared of a convenient item duplication exploit!"
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“Why?” White Raven inquired.

“I really don’t know. There’s just something about it... this feeling that it’s completely unnatural, that it doesn’t belong at all and if I make some mistake with it, it’ll destroy something I worked hard on. It’s just creepy, is all.” Louis explained.
What a giant pussy.
I bet he thinks very highly of Sonic.exe.
“Shouldn’t we be afraid of the local militia taking offense to our presence?” Indow wondered aloud.

“Alice said on the phone that the FBI and the local police are keeping people three hundred feet away from the thing and out of sight range, even the cops themselves. They’re not taking any chances with it. The camera shots they got are from when the thing first arrived and they hadn’t set up a cordon around it.” Louis replied.
Image

Three hundred feet? This is a fucking eldritch horror oozing into reality, not a fucking car crash.
And everything's set up so that not even the cops can see WTF is going on? Sure, man. Whatever bullshit you have to pull to avoid including law enforcement in your little plot.
“By the way, why are you wearing that ridiculous thing on your face?” Thesia asked.
Image
Thesia was referring to the golden mask that covered Louis’ upper face, although it was opened up for his eyes to see through.
That's how masks usually handle eyes?
“Because if I wear it anywhere else, it chafes.” Louis answered, giggling slightly.
"It feels good in my butt, though."
“What?” Lithmenar asked, not getting the joke.

Louis rolled his eyes. “Remind me to have you guys watch Real Genius before we go back to Sin...”
Image
“It was my idea.” Indow explained. “Louis was worried that people might recognize him if any cameras were close to the area. While it won’t be a problem for the rest of us, since we technically do not exist here, we do not want attention being drawn on Louis by the news authorities.”
But otherwise face protection is for losers!

And it doesn't matter if you "don't exist". If they catch you on video you better stay inside the Lovhaug Manor for the rest of your stay.
“We’re coming up on it now. Stay sharp.” Louis ordered, taking charge.

The six descended towards the monstrosity before them, the tell-tale shriek coming out once again. The blob of static didn’t appear to be moving or doing anything, it merely sat in the middle of the road, touching all four sidewalk corners of the street. The streets all had two lanes for each direction with no shoulder, indicating just how large the creature was. The pixels on its body seemed to shift every once in awhile, but nothing seemed to indicate that it was even aware of anything else around it.
Truly, one of the most terrifying kaiju of all time.
The six dropped down on the northernmost street ten feet away from Missing Number, preparing themselves for battle.
That's two squares in D&D terms, well within its reach. You sure you want to land that close to the thing?
While White Raven and Lithmenar pulled out a bow and throwing knives respectively, Indow’s hands charged with green energy, preparing herself for an Amplify spell.
I can already tell one of these is gonna be a lot more effective than the others.
Thesia held her arm up in the air and shaped her hand as if she were holding a sword.
Image
Red energy spilled forth from her hand, extending up before the energy faded away, leaving behind an arming sword with a red hilt. The hilt itself was designed fancifully, as if it were more a decoration than something to be utilized. Jordahn swung her axe around to test its balance while the blades from Louis’ gauntlets crackled with electricity.
Bitch, I don't even know how exactly Gyaru Casca's various axes are shaped. You think I give a shit about how "fancy" your sword is?
Louis raised an eyebrow as he stared at Missing Number and looked over at Indow. “You know, a thought occurs – do we actually know if this thing is hostile?”
I think it has like Water Gun or something?
All of a sudden, a tendril made of the same material as Missing Number lashed out at Louis, who just barely managed to move his body to the side. The tendril landed in the street behind them, piercing through it. The tendril just as quickly retracted back into Missing Number’s ‘body.’
That doesn't look like a valid Pokemon move.
“Definitely hostile!” Lithmenar proclaimed and tossed a throw knife straight at the garbled mass of static.
A throw knife?
The knife hit right on target, but instead of puncturing Missing Number, it merely froze upon contact with it, the static of its body spreading out and covering the knife in the pixilated design.
Oh shit. It's gonna turn the city into Minecraft!
Lithmenar blinked and exchanged glances with the others.
The fuck did you think was gonna happen? You think it gives a toss about your tiny baby knives?
“Right, don’t let it touch you!” Louis proclaimed as he went airborne, flapping his wings and flying above the creature.

Missing Number sent out a tendril at each of the attacking forces and each countered in their own particular way.
How many "particular" ways of "get out of the fucking way" are there?
Lithmenar leaped out of the way at the one sent at him, letting the attack merely hit the ground once again and retract away slightly.
This is one of the most boring descriptions of a dodge I have ever encountered.
Jordahn, sadly, was not as agile. However, she saw the attack coming and slammed the blade of her axe against the tendril. However, the instant it touched the static of Missing Number, the weapon began to be consumed as the throwing knife had earlier. She tossed the axe away just as the handle was engulfed in pixels.
Well, at least that axe has had some use. Usually hers do fuckall.
White Raven managed to dodge the attack sent at her and began releasing a slew of arrows at Missing Number, each one hitting their target but all were absorbed by the same effect that had ensnared the throwing knife and axe.
In a shocking turn of events, arrows turn out to be just as ineffective as knives.
Missing Number’s tendril suddenly lashed around her neck, much to her shock and horror. She screamed in pain as she felt the static effect all ready taking hold of her, a cold sensation spreading from her neck and across her entire body.
Any reason why the pixelation takes longer for meatbags?
“RAVEN!” Thesia screamed as she ran for her friend.
Bitch you barely know each other.
A tendril reached out to grab Thesia, but the blonde former-conqueror slashed her sword across the attacking limb and, surprisingly, sliced it away without any problem to her own weapon.
How convenient. Though shouldn't your arm turn Minecraft either way? And what the fuck kind of word is "former-conqueror"?
She knelt down beside White Raven’s static-infested body, purple and orange pixels racing across her body and forming into rectangles before they broke off and continued on.
It's almost like Infinity War or something. I'm literally crying.
The tendril that made its move against Indow found the Anako Priestess protected by her Amplify spell.
Fuck relying on tanks. This catgirl is a one-woman-party!
Indow smirked as she formed fireballs in her hands, launching them quickly out at Missing Number in the hope that it would do some damage to the creature. She realized that due to the difference in magical physics on Earth, her Amplify spell was doubling as a defensive shield for her while still powering up the intensity of her own spells.
Is there any rhyme or reason to how these spells work on Earth? Some summon spell just makes video game glitches real, while Indow just becomes even more overpowered.
She winced, however, as she saw each fireball collide into Missing Number with no effect.
Why does she keep using these fireballs, anyways? I don't think they've ever done anything more than maybe knock down a Dark Knight or two. It's fucking trash tier.
Multiple attacks were made on Louis and he was having a hard time fighting back. While the electric defenses of the armor were managing to aide in slicing away at the tendrils, the fact that so many of them were going for him made it difficult to fend them off for much longer.
Maybe don't make yourself such an enticing target?
He gazed over at Indow and gasped as he saw a tendril pop up from the ground under her, well inside the Amplify spell, and grab onto her leg.
Tentacles always find a way past a waifu's defenses.
Louis was about to yell out to warn her, but all of a sudden a tendril wrapped around his neck and a cold feeling began to run through his skin.
I see the automatic electroshock defenses are conveniently absent once again.
Thesia looked over to the others and winced as she saw Lithmenar and Jordahn both eventually get snagged by Missing Number, their flesh replaced by the random pixilation [sic].
Man, you guys suck now.
Is this some forced setup to have Thesia "prove her worth" or some shit?
Even Louis fell to the ground beside them, his armor untouched but his skin covered by the patterns of the being.
You suck even more than the rest.
She stood up and looked to Indow, who had fallen, as well.
Pixel tentacle rape. The thinking man's fetish.
Thesia narrowed her eyes at Missing Number and raised her sword. She wasn’t sure why or how it was that she or her weapon was immune to it, but she didn’t care.
(It's horrible plot convenience.)
She couldn’t feel or hear White Raven breathing, so she suspected she was dead.
Not even the writing sounds very convinced.
And if the only people who had shown her compassion as of late were dead, she was going to make certain that the beast responsible for it paid for its crime.
Compassion? They just don't give a shit that you're a mass-murdering psychopath.
And so she charged at Missing Number...
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This is some edge-of-the-seat material.
Next Time: Boy. I sure wonder if Thesia will save the day...
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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BenComicGraphics
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by BenComicGraphics » Fri Jun 20, 2025 11:29 pm

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All the revelations, the chris-chan-isms, the sonichu levels... I've known for years. Missingno, Code Poet, Darkbringer... I love that now, only now, is the interconnected mess fully and completely revealed to others.

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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sat Jun 21, 2025 6:47 am

It is finally unearthed, like an ancient statue to an Elder God.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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