The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

[Le Redditeur]

If the CP is underage, the the Lightbringer must engage!

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Book 4, Chapter 1 - Home
(Or: Pizza Time)



Rejoice, everyone! The dark days of juvenile slop are behind us! Linkara (the author) has evolved into a big college boy now, more embiggened and sophisticated than ever before!
Ready your eyes to feast upon literary delights never thought possible. Let's gooooooo~

(I'm pretty sure we're just gonna get lame "comedy" based on hilarious misunderstandings of Earth culture, customs and technology. That shit's so obvious I didn't even bother to file it as a prediction. I mean, what the fuck else are we gonna waste time with before the bad guys show up? It can't all be about Indow complaining about Sailor Moon being unrealistic.
At least I hope so...)

And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

After waiting and faffing about for a bit too long, our heroes finally get the Stargate ritual going and step through, to be shat out into the antique shop from where Linkara got originally isekai'd from.
Of course, before they got shat out they got grabbed by Stupid Surprise Magic Space Gods, who mostly just mumbled some mystery box bullshit that will maybe become tangentially relevant in about 10+ chapters or so. Who knows.

Also Linkara's lucious hair got restored, because heaven forbid he looks different from when he got isekai'd.

ChapterShow

Louis Williamson ran towards the door of the antique shop...

...and promptly tripped over his own feet. He yelped and fell backwards right on top of Lithmenar, who, in turn, fell on top of White Raven. Indow and Jordahn just stood off to the side and laughed.

“Ow! Get off of me, kid!”

Louis chuckled and rolled off of Lithmenar, closing his eyes and simply laughing into the air. Lithmenar stood up and brushed himself off once more, staring down at Louis with a perplexed look on his face. White Raven similarly followed, getting back on her feet and raising an eyebrow in curiosity at Louis’ behavior.

“Just what is so terribly amusing, kid?” he asked.

“All of this! I can’t believe it, Lithie, I’m really home!” Louis giggled in response before slowly standing up once more.

As soon as Louis was on his feet, he almost tripped over again. Indow moved to catch him, but he reached for a nearby shelf and held on, breathing slowly and closing his eyes as a bead of sweat ran down his forehead.

“Are you all right?” White Raven asked.

“Just a bit dizzy... Does anyone else feel that?” Louis responded.

“I believe it is an after effect of the journey through the vortex, my love. Netersao described similar symptoms when he landed on Earth. I admit, my head is spinning from all of the excitement,” Indow explained.

“Ugh... I’ve got to say, it’s more than that... It feels like my whole body is off-balance...” Louis replied, steadying himself on his feet. “I’m heavier than I was before. You know how I feel? I feel like I did right when I arrived on Sin.”

Indow stepped closer and held onto Louis to help him stand up. “Well, I just had a thought...”

“Enlighten me,” Louis requested, regaining his senses.

“Well, you noticed how your hair is back, right?” Indow asked.

Louis nodded and grinned, running his hand through the hair that had been burned off while on Sin, but, for some reason, had been fully restored upon returning to Earth.

“I do not believe that you left Earth entirely. Somehow, your body was copied... or maybe your spirit was transferred, I’m not sure of the details, but essentially the body that you had on Sin is not the same body you had on Earth. You’ve grown accustomed to a more agile and strengthened body on Sin. When we first found you at the church, Louis... well, you weren’t exactly in the best shape. Your body on earth has not been as strengthened through battle as it was on Sin.”

Muttering to himself, Louis said, “Oh, great, I make a grand homecoming, do a little speech, and then throw up all over myself, that’s just-”

“Where am I?!”

Everyone looked towards the door of the antique shop, but saw nothing. Thinking that someone was screaming from the outside, the group immediately made their way outside, Louis limping behind them a little as he recovered from his nausea. However, as soon as he reached the door, a brief revelation came to him. He looked over at the purchasing counter, where an elderly man was calmly sitting on a stool and flipping through a magazine that Louis couldn’t identify. He had a pair of glasses sitting on the edge of his face. He didn’t seem to have a care in the world, particularly not for the fact that only person had entered his store but now five were leaving.

“Hey, listen, I’ll be right back to pay for the gauntlet, I just need to-”

“Consider it a gift, Linkara.” The man interrupted. “I’ve got a feeling you’ll need it.”

Louis stood awestruck in the doorway. He opened his mouth, about to ask how on heaven or Earth he knew about the Linkara, but Indow cried out for him to get outside quickly. Louis bit his lower lip and forgot about the old man for a moment, running out the door. Although he knew it was a bad idea to let his attention stray from him again, Louis’ eyes widened as he looked around himself at the world that, several months ago, he had left and almost thought he would never see again. It looked exactly as it had when he first left, the sky a bright blue with enough clouds in the sky to give it a textured look. The sun was shining, but half-hidden behind the clouds so that it didn’t seem to beat harshly down on the skin of the people below. It was the beginning of spring, with a comfortable seventy degree temperature.

“Who are you people?!”

Louis snapped back to reality and looked down to where the others were standing. The four kept their distance away from the single figure lying in the grass, but were close enough to be easily noticed by the frightened individual who was slowly starting to sit up. She appeared to be in her early twenties, but around five feet tall in height. She had short blonde hair covered by a red helmet, as well as matching red armor on the rest of her body. There were two rather distinctive features about her, however, that caught everyone’s attention right away. The first was the long, fresh scar that had been carved into her face from one corner to the opposite. It didn’t appear to be bleeding, but it was quite menacing and appeared to be something that had happened to her recently. The scar was only part of her injury, since the blade indentation in her armor indicated that someone had swiped down from her face and through her chest – a killing stroke.

The second odd thing about her was the fact that her entire body appeared to be partially transparent. They could see the grass under her.

“Just stay calm! We’re not going to hurt you!” Lithmenar said.

“I... The Priest attacked me...” the woman stuttered, obviously confused.

Suddenly, she clutched her stomach, yelping in pain. The phasing around her body began to distort slightly, portions becoming more opaque. Indow reached down to try to help her, but White Raven quickly grabbed her wrist, keeping her from touching the fading woman. Within a minute, the screams subsided as the woman seemed to pass out, the injuries on her face and chest disappearing along with her transparency. Her body was completely solid then, but whatever had pushed her into full visibility had knocked the woman out.

White Raven released Indow’s wrist and let her go down. The Priestess felt around the woman’s neck for a pulse, keeping her fingers on the spot for a moment before she looked back up at Louis.

“She’s alive, at least. We should get her someplace more comfortable.” Indow stated.

“We’ll bring her back to my house.” Louis suggested, preparing to pick up the unconscious woman.

“It would be better if I carried her. We don’t know how being back on your world has affected your strength.” Jordahn said, going down and easily hefting the girl up over her shoulder.

Louis nodded, realizing that all the movement had definitely made him a little queasy. As he recovered, he looked to the Antique Shop’s door, seeing that the sign had been changed to read Closed. His gaze wandered to the side of the door as he smiled, seeing that his bike was still there. He ran over to it and picked it up, wheeling it down the street and leading his friends back to his home.

*

John and Erica Williamson slowly looked from Indow to Louis and then back to Indow again. They both sat down on the couch of their living room in front of Louis, whose armor encompassed his body. Indow stood beside him smiling and holding a Lighting Spell in her hand, the small orb illuminating everything in the room.

“So, what do you think?” Louis inquired, winking at his parents.

Both sat with mouths agape at what they had seen and what they had been told. After arriving back at his home, Louis waited for his parents to return and promptly explained about the people who were now in their house and why there was a woman unconscious in the guest room. He had left out a significant number of the details to his angered parents, who were in the middle of chastising Louis for letting people in their house while they weren’t home when he suddenly brought out his gauntlet and allowed his armor to form around him. Needing a bit more convincing, Indow had been happy enough to show the stunned adults her ears and some of her magicks. They were still in awe of the revelation that their son had been on another world for several months, hadn’t aged a day from the experience, and the fact that he was the figurehead of that world’s largest religion.

“This is... a lot to take in, Louis.” Erica stated.

“Of course. Take all the time you need. However, I hate to say this, but everyone in the group needs accommodations while I figure out how long they’ll be here. We do intend on going back to Sin, we’re just not sure when...” Louis pointed out, looking over at Lithmenar and Jordahn.

The two in question were amazed with the refrigerator and the fact that it seemed to generate cold air without any magicks.

Louis’ father raised an eyebrow and looked up at Louis. “You didn’t think about how long they’d be staying before you brought them here?”

Louis shrugged and replied, “We kind of got swept up in the excitement of getting back here. Think of this like taking on a foreign exchange student! Well, a few exchange students...”

White Raven entered the room, rubbing her eyes as she sat down at the kitchen table to relax. “Well, the woman’s still unconscious, but she doesn’t seem to have anything wrong with her. The injuries we saw on her seem to have healed. Could she be a Sorceress?”

“Possibly. I did sense magic coming from her, but she has nothing to indicate such a status.” Indow stated as she let the Lighting Spell dissipate.

Lithmenar took a bite out of an apple he had found in the refrigerator.

“Could she be a witch?” he asked, albeit slightly muffled.

Indow glared at Lithmenar. “Don’t be so hasty to make such an accusation!”

“I presume that calling someone a witch is a much bigger accusation on Sin than it is on Earth?” Louis inquired as he walked over to the kitchen table, sitting down at it.

“A witch is someone who trains in magic outside of the consent of the Sovereign, without undergoing trials or proper training.” Indow stated with a sneer as she sat down beside Louis.

“Why not take her to a hospital?” Louis’ father suggested, standing up and walking over to the refrigerator to get something to drink.

“Normally that’d be a good idea, except if my experiences on Sin are any indication, she’s not going to register entirely as human and we don’t know what kind of effects medication will have on her if they were to try anything.” Louis explained.

“Yes, your ‘experiences’ on Sin... Care to tell us exactly what exactly the whole story is?” Erica questioned of her son, getting up to sit at the kitchen table with the rest of the assembled travelers.

Louis smiled and leaned back a little in his chair. “Have a seat. The rest of my friends here can fill in any of the blanks that I forget. It all began about eleven months ago... or, I suppose, only this afternoon in terms of earth time, wouldn’t it? Anyway, as soon as I got home today, I heard a peculiar voice echo around me and tell me to go to this antique shop...”

*

Indow sat down on the steps of the front walkway into Louis’ home, taking in slow, deep breathes. She looked up into the bright blue sky and smiled, loving how Louis’ world looked to her. Sure, it was certainly different from Sin in minor details when it came to nature, but the same basic structures were there. The bark on the trees of Sin was teal and smooth, almost like painted glass, whereas on Earth they were brown, rough, and broke up into various patterns. The grass retained the same basic structure, but the color was different, a dark green on earth whereas Sin’s had a blue-green color to it.

Indow lay back slightly and sighed up at the sky, closing her eyes and soaking up the light of the sun. Her ears twitched slightly and her tail swung a little beneath her as she relaxed. Louis’ parents had finally been content with a more detailed explanation of events, albeit still having a difficult time accepting that their son hadn’t been gone an hour and yet had experienced eleven months of life on another world that considered him Godlike in all aspects. Louis had just been happy to see them again and had taken every opportunity to hug and kiss them as he could. After the reunion and story, the three members of the Williamson family got to work on preparing accommodations for the guests. The guest room’s daybed was still in use by the unconscious woman, so that, sadly, had been taken. Jordahn had asked only for small accommodations like sheets, something she could use for slight comfort. Lithmenar and White Raven wanted slightly better accommodations, so each were assigned a futon located in the basement. Indow had been given a couch, much to her own joy. She did, frankly, miss sleeping in a bed, and hadn’t done so for at least a week or two by Sin’s time.

“How are you doing, Indow?” Louis asked, leaning against the front door as he looked down at his love.

Indow practically purred in her response.

“I am enjoying this very lovely world of yours. I feel so at ease, so comfortable and carefree here! My magicks almost feel... amplified.”

Louis looked up at the sky, where Indow’s eyes were still gazing off into. He looked back down at her and winked.

“Want to fly for a bit?” he queried.

She smiled and leapt up onto her feet. Indow held out her hand to Louis, who gladly took it. Louis’ armor began spreading over his body as Indow closed her eyes, the wind around her picking up in intensity. As Louis’ wings began forming, Indow was already floating off the ground. However, the two kept their hands together as they went up until the span of Louis’ golden wings prevented him from keeping hold of her. However, in less than a minute, both were up in the air and rising above it all. Louis spread his arms out as his wings did all the work, easily fighting gravity. He closed his eyes as he felt the wind whipping around him. He took deep breaths as he got higher, stopping when he was about fifty feet off the ground. He briefly considered what he might look like to the people below him, but as he opened his eyes, he stopped caring about people on the ground.

Indow hovered several feet away from him, her hands behind her back as she looked at her love. She grinned at him, giving him a ‘come hither’ look. Louis flew over to her and Indow playfully floated away from him just outside of his reach. He grinned and tried once more, but she dodged it again. She giggled and extended her arms, flying down away from Louis like a mischievous pixie. Louis, in turn, pursued her, descending towards the girl he loved as she went past a row of houses and towards a small forest (if one could call a long assortment of trees along the side of a road a forest). Indow flew up and down into the forest, teasing Louis into finding her before she popped back up again.

After five minutes of the game, Louis finally caught Indow and held her in his arms. The two embraced and kissed, flying back hand- in-hand to Louis’ home for dinner.

*

“This, my good friends, is pizza. Eat heartily, but try not to take too much.” Louis said as he opened the Pizza Hut box top up and revealed to them his first example of Earth cuisine.

Indow reached for one first, while the others were more reluctant in going for pieces of the food. Jordahn, in particular, was examining the pizza with a skeptical look, making sure that she didn’t spot any pieces of meat mixed in with the cheese. After Indow grabbed onto a slice of pizza, she pulled it away and onto her plate where she could get a better look at it before she began eating. She leaned in and sniffed at the dish, raising an eyebrow as she looked over at Louis.

“It’s quite... greasy,” she commented.

Louis rolled his eyes. “Yes, it’s supposed to be. Eat up or it’ll get cold.”

Indow shrugged and raised the triangle-shaped slice to her lips, biting off a piece quickly. She chewed for a few moments and swallowed, proceeding then to quickly gobble down the one slice and start reaching for another. While Lithmenar poked at his slice with a fork, Jordahn and White Raven ate as calmly as Louis’ parents and his brother, George, who was still trying to wrap his head around the revelation that Louis had been gone for a year without anyone noticing it or that any time had passed at all. Needless to say, he was more than a little perplexed by the whole thing.

“So, let me see if I get this straight: I leave you alone for two hours and you manage to not only save a planet, but get a girlfriend and a whole heap of other people to stay at our house. That’s just typical, you know that, dork?” George commented.

“Kindly do not refer to my love as ‘dork.’” Indow said between finishing one pizza slice and starting on another.

“You know, I just thought of something: if your friends are going to be staying here, Louis, we’re going to go through a lot of food really quickly.” Erica pointed out.

“Not to mention the bed situation is already a nightmare...” John also stated, referring to the lack of appropriate sleeping space in the house.

“Sleeping arrangements aren’t that big a problem. You’re right about the food, though, so we already have made a decision about that.” Louis explained, taking on another slice of pizza to his plate.

“We shall remain on here for ten days and then return to Sin. It is a small time, I admit, but it should provide adequate time to enjoy some of the fruits of Earth and see if there are, indeed, any peculiarities in time when we travel from one world to another.” Indow said between gulping down pieces of her food.

“And are you going with them, honey?” Louis’ mother inquired, looking over at him.

Louis sat, swallowing the bite of pizza in his mouth and biting his lower lip. He opened his mouth to respond to her, but then stood up from his chair when he saw who was standing at the entranceway to the kitchen. The woman whom they had found right after landing on Earth was leaning against the door, her blonde hair in a mess as she gripped onto the frame of the doorway. The rest of the group looked to her and stood up, White Raven and Indow even going up to help her. Her general disposition seemed to be worn out and tired, her red armor having been removed earlier when White Raven had been assessing her injuries.

The former Dark Knight and the Anako Sorceress lead the woman back to a chair, sitting her down a bit. She took in long, deep breathes before she looked over at Louis and licked her lips in order to speak a bit more clearly.

Her voice was dry and cracked, but Louis understood what she said: “Life giver, please.”

Louis nodded and darted over to the kitchen sink (the kitchen and dining room were adjoined), reached up for a clean glass, and poured a glass of water to the stranger. He then brought it back to the woman, who quickly downed the entire glass in one gulp. She looked from one person to another, not recognizing a single one among them nor understanding her peculiar surroundings.

“Who might you be, young lady?” John inquired.

The woman still seemed to be in a daze, but she turned to him and replied, “My name is Thesia... and I hope there’s no one here named Deiji...”

*

“Give me some, damn it!”

“Fuck you, I did all the work!”

The two muggers argued continuously in a back alley of downtown St. Paul. With the night came the way the two had to make ends meat: thievery. Both had knives in their hands, ready to stab one another over the wallet and purse they had just stolen off of a couple that had been walking home. However, just before their argument could escalate any further, the alleyway was suddenly encased in light. The two hoodlums, in shock over the bright yellow illumination that had filled their alley without any visible source, covered their eyes and dropped the pilfered items. They readied their weapons, as well, wondering if the police had actually managed to track them down or if they had been lured there by the shouting.

The light faded shortly afterwards, returning to its previous ambiance. The two uncovered their eyes and looked down the alley corridor, seeing a man crouching on the ground, his body encased in black armor as smoke drifted off of him as if he had been on fire a few seconds before. The crouching man’s body quivered in the darkness, his eyes closed as the two muggers slowly stepped closer to him. Forgoing normal sense in such a situation, curiosity overtook the two muggers as they walked up within reaching distance of the crouching man.

“Holy mother of-” one began to exclaim.

However, before he could finish his sentence, the crouching man’s arm quickly lashed out and grabbed his leg, pulling tightly to the side and sending the law-breaker into a nearby brick wall. The other mugger, in shock over how his companion had been flung away like a rag doll, proceeded to turn around and start running down the alley. Unfortunately for him, the crouching man rose and reached over to grasp the sword hanging on his side. He charged after the mugger and unsheathed his weapon, swiping it across his back. The mugger fell forward, yelping in pain. The crouching man brought his foot down on the mugger’s back and kept him pinned down.

“The Linkara,” he whispered, “where is he?”

RiffingShow

Louis Williamson ran towards the door of the antique shop...

...and promptly tripped over his own feet. He yelped and fell backwards right on top of Lithmenar, who, in turn, fell on top of White Raven. Indow and Jordahn just stood off to the side and laughed.

• Why were you running?
• Unless you slipped on a banana peel, shouldn't you have fallen forward?
• Why was half of your fellowship directly behind you, while the other half just stood there on the sidelines?

This is off to a great start.

Louis chuckled and rolled off of Lithmenar, closing his eyes and simply laughing into the air. Lithmenar stood up and brushed himself off once more, staring down at Louis with a perplexed look on his face. White Raven similarly followed, getting back on her feet and raising an eyebrow in curiosity at Louis’ behavior.

I think he's lost it.

“Just what is so terribly amusing, kid?” he asked.

“All of this! I can’t believe it, Lithie, I’m really home!” Louis giggled in response before slowly standing up once more.

Did he hit his head when the Stargate shat him out?

As soon as Louis was on his feet, he almost tripped over again. Indow moved to catch him, but he reached for a nearby shelf and held on, breathing slowly and closing his eyes as a bead of sweat ran down his forehead.

"Screw you, woman! My fall shall not be caught by one of the fairer sex!"

“Are you all right?” White Raven asked.

“Just a bit dizzy... Does anyone else feel that?” Louis responded.

“I believe it is an after effect of the journey through the vortex, my love. Netersao described similar symptoms when he landed on Earth. I admit, my head is spinning from all of the excitement,” Indow explained.

Naturally, only Linkara appears to be noticeably affected by this. Is this about muh Earth DNA again?

“Ugh... I’ve got to say, it’s more than that... It feels like my whole body is off-balance...” Louis replied, steadying himself on his feet. “I’m heavier than I was before. You know how I feel? I feel like I did right when I arrived on Sin.”

Dude, that was like a year ago. There's no way you can remember this specific feeling.
Also it's a retcon, anyways? Your trip to Sin was so fast and smooth it happened in the literal blink of an eye. The only reason you started feeling like shit is because you were freaking the fuck out.

Indow stepped closer and held onto Louis to help him stand up. “Well, I just had a thought...”

“Enlighten me,” Louis requested, regaining his senses.

This is gonna hurt, isn't it?

“I do not believe that you left Earth entirely. Somehow, your body was copied... or maybe your spirit was transferred, I’m not sure of the details, but essentially the body that you had on Sin is not the same body you had on Earth. You’ve grown accustomed to a more agile and strengthened body on Sin. When we first found you at the church, Louis... well, you weren’t exactly in the best shape. Your body on earth has not been as strengthened through battle as it was on Sin.”

Oh boy. Someone sure wanted to ensure that nothing about Linkara's looks could've possibly changed between when he left Earth, and when he returned.
It's still the same day as when he left, isn't it?

Muttering to himself, Louis said, “Oh, great, I make a grand homecoming, do a little speech, and then throw up all over myself, that’s just-”

What the fuck are you talking about?

“Where am I?!”

Everyone looked towards the door of the antique shop, but saw nothing. Thinking that someone was screaming from the outside, the group immediately made their way outside, Louis limping behind them a little as he recovered from his nausea. However, as soon as he reached the door, a brief revelation came to him. He looked over at the purchasing counter, where an elderly man was calmly sitting on a stool and flipping through a magazine that Louis couldn’t identify. He had a pair of glasses sitting on the edge of his face. He didn’t seem to have a care in the world, particularly not for the fact that only person had entered his store but now five were leaving.

This better be a situation where only Linkara can see this old geezer. 'Cause I can't imagine his entire entourage failing their Spot checks that badly.

“Hey, listen, I’ll be right back to pay for the gauntlet, I just need to-”

“Consider it a gift, Linkara.” The man interrupted. “I’ve got a feeling you’ll need it.”

Louis stood awestruck in the doorway. He opened his mouth, about to ask how on heaven or Earth he knew about the Linkara...

I feel like Mr. Genre Savvy over here should be more familiar with mysterious old men in mysterious antique shops being a bit too mysterious for their own good.

... but Indow cried out for him to get outside quickly. Louis bit his lower lip and forgot about the old man for a moment, running out the door.

10bux that the old guy and/or his entire shop will have vanished by the time Linkara decides to ask the guy some questions.

It looked exactly as it had when he first left, the sky a bright blue with enough clouds in the sky to give it a textured look. The sun was shining, but half-hidden behind the clouds so that it didn’t seem to beat harshly down on the skin of the people below.

His mom might be a code poet, but he's certainly not a word poet.

“Who are you people?!”

Louis snapped back to reality and looked down to where the others were standing. The four kept their distance away from the single figure lying in the grass, but were close enough to be easily noticed by the frightened individual who was slowly starting to sit up.

I think that means they're at most 50 feet away from him, which should make noticing them a Spot check with Difficulty Class 5 or even lower.

She appeared to be in her early twenties, but around five feet tall in height. She had short blonde hair covered by a red helmet, as well as matching red armor on the rest of her body.

Hey, look. Another blonde character.
And is this fucking Thesia or something? She also had red armor when she pretended to be a ghost for some reason. Though her hair is usually longer. So maybe it's Tomboy Thesia?

(I assume this is about that time Thesia hung out with Varek somewhere in the background of Book 2 and got supposedly "killed". No fucking idea how this all fits chronologically, though.)

The first was the long, fresh scar that had been carved into her face from one corner to the opposite. It didn’t appear to be bleeding, but it was quite menacing and appeared to be something that had happened to her recently. The scar was only part of her injury, since the blade indentation in her armor indicated that someone had swiped down from her face and through her chest – a killing stroke.

I take it the helmet is a bit useless.

The second odd thing about her was the fact that her entire body appeared to be partially transparent. They could see the grass under her.

You'd think that would be the first thing to mention when describing this waifu.

“Just stay calm! We’re not going to hurt you!” Lithmenar said.

“I... The Priest attacked me...” the woman stuttered, obviously confused.

What are the odds of rape being once again involved, I wonder...

Suddenly, she clutched her stomach, yelping in pain. The phasing around her body began to distort slightly, portions becoming more opaque. Indow reached down to try to help her, but White Raven quickly grabbed her wrist, keeping her from touching the fading woman. Within a minute, the screams subsided as the woman seemed to pass out, the injuries on her face and chest disappearing along with her transparency. Her body was completely solid then, but whatever had pushed her into full visibility had knocked the woman out.

I'm sure we will get a logical explanation for this that will leave me completely satisfied.

“She’s alive, at least. We should get her someplace more comfortable.” Indow stated.

“We’ll bring her back to my house.” Louis suggested, preparing to pick up the unconscious woman.

How about a hospital?

“It would be better if I carried her. We don’t know how being back on your world has affected your strength.” Jordahn said, going down and easily hefting the girl up over her shoulder.

He's gonna be even more useless than last book, isn't he?

Louis nodded, realizing that all the movement had definitely made him a little queasy. As he recovered, he looked to the Antique Shop’s door, seeing that the sign had been changed to read Closed.

Usually these mysterious shops just disappear, leaving whatever shop is actually supposed to be there. But I guess a "Closed" sign is enough to stop Linkara from pursuing this any further.

His gaze wandered to the side of the door as he smiled, seeing that his bike was still there. He ran over to it and picked it up, wheeling it down the street and leading his friends back to his home.

I bet not a single hour has passed on Earth.

*

John and Erica Williamson slowly looked from Indow to Louis and then back to Indow again. They both sat down on the couch of their living room in front of Louis, whose armor encompassed his body. Indow stood beside him smiling and holding a Lighting Spell in her hand, the small orb illuminating everything in the room.

“So, what do you think?” Louis inquired, winking at his parents.

"I am disappointed in you, son. This isn't even a real catgirl!"

Both sat with mouths agape at what they had seen and what they had been told.

That works too, I guess.

After arriving back at his home, Louis waited for his parents to return and promptly explained about the people who were now in their house and why there was a woman unconscious in the guest room. He had left out a significant number of the details to his angered parents, who were in the middle of chastising Louis for letting people in their house while they weren’t home when he suddenly brought out his gauntlet and allowed his armor to form around him. Needing a bit more convincing, Indow had been happy enough to show the stunned adults her ears and some of her magicks.

Would've been nice actually reading about this, and not just getting this summary.
Also judging by the parents' reaction, it seems he was never really "missing" from their point of view.

They were still in awe of the revelation that their son had been on another world for several months, hadn’t aged a day from the experience, and the fact that he was the figurehead of that world’s largest religion.

It almost sounds like a bunch of bullshit, but hey, he has a fancy armor and some weird furry elf chick that's supposedly a catgirl, so who are they to judge?

“Of course. Take all the time you need. However, I hate to say this, but everyone in the group needs accommodations while I figure out how long they’ll be here. We do intend on going back to Sin, we’re just not sure when...” Louis pointed out, looking over at Lithmenar and Jordahn.

"Mom, dad? Can my friends stay here for a while?" is for losers. Real alpha chads like Linkara go "So my loyal minions are gonna freeload this place for a while until we decide to fuck off again, and you will like it."

The two in question were amazed with the refrigerator and the fact that it seemed to generate cold air without any magicks.

"OMG! I don't think it uses magick !"

I feel like a fridge is a weird thing to lose your mind over when you're from a high fantasy world that has convenient off-screen teleport networks.

Louis’ father raised an eyebrow and looked up at Louis. “You didn’t think about how long they’d be staying before you brought them here?”

Louis shrugged and replied, “We kind of got swept up in the excitement of getting back here. Think of this like taking on a foreign exchange student! Well, a few exchange students...”

"I am the Great Linkara, father, therefore I call the shots in this household now!"

White Raven entered the room, rubbing her eyes as she sat down at the kitchen table to relax. “Well, the woman’s still unconscious, but she doesn’t seem to have anything wrong with her. The injuries we saw on her seem to have healed. Could she be a Sorceress?”

“Possibly. I did sense magic coming from her, but she has nothing to indicate such a status.” Indow stated as she let the Lighting Spell dissipate.

What would indicate such a status?

Lithmenar took a bite out of an apple he had found in the refrigerator.

Pretty daring considering apples aren't really a thing on Sin. Except for those apples that are actually oranges inside afaik.
And who puts apples in a fridge? Does fruit spoil too quickly in the tropical climate of Minnesota?

“Could she be a witch?” he asked, albeit slightly muffled.

Indow glared at Lithmenar. “Don’t be so hasty to make such an accusation!”

Just look at her character sheet.

“I presume that calling someone a witch is a much bigger accusation on Sin than it is on Earth?” Louis inquired as he walked over to the kitchen table, sitting down at it.

Oh yeah. "Witch" has always been a sign of affection on Earth.

“A witch is someone who trains in magic outside of the consent of the Sovereign, without undergoing trials or proper training.” Indow stated with a sneer as she sat down beside Louis.

Oh, so that's why Myrrha got called a witch like twice in Book 2. She doesn't have a loicense.
And is this Sovereign associated with the Linkaran church? Probably not, considering the last pages of the last book just had to introduce a new wizard religion to wreck the Linkaran Church's monopoly on spellcasters.

“Why not take her to a hospital?” Louis’ father suggested, standing up and walking over to the refrigerator to get something to drink.

"Oh, foolish father. Let me tell you how wrong you are!"

“Normally that’d be a good idea, except if my experiences on Sin are any indication, she’s not going to register entirely as human and we don’t know what kind of effects medication will have on her if they were to try anything.” Louis explained.

It sure is convenient how this differing DNA subplot is a perfect excuse to keep the proper authorities out of the plot.
And how's the hospital staff gonna find out about her dark secret? They don't really do routine DNA checks, and unless her inner organs are noticeably different they will probably just assume she has allergies or incompatibilities something.

Also what are the odds of your beloved fellowship getting offed by the flu in about two weeks?

“Yes, your ‘experiences’ on Sin... Care to tell us exactly what exactly the whole story is?” Erica questioned of her son, getting up to sit at the kitchen table with the rest of the assembled travelers.

"With pleasure, mother. I am certain you will be positively delighted by all the rape!"

Louis smiled and leaned back a little in his chair. “Have a seat. The rest of my friends here can fill in any of the blanks that I forget. It all began about eleven months ago... or, I suppose, only this afternoon in terms of earth time, wouldn’t it? Anyway, as soon as I got home today, I heard a peculiar voice echo around me and tell me to go to this antique shop...”

I fucking knew it. Even after he claimed last book that time on both worlds passes at the same speed. I knew it in my heart of hearts.

Though what does happen when they return to Sin? Will time also not have passed much there? Is everyone's real body just calmly sleeping in that cave?

*

Indow sat down on the steps of the front walkway into Louis’ home, taking in slow, deep breathes. She looked up into the bright blue sky and smiled, loving how Louis’ world looked to her. Sure, it was certainly different from Sin in minor details when it came to nature, but the same basic structures were there.

Remember that one scene early on in Book 1 when Sinnian trees where green and teal?
And "the same basic structures were there"? A modern city looks nothing like your medieval shithole ghettos. The only thing that would look even remotely familiar to you were churches (mostly because every stone building on Sin apparently looks like a cathedral).

The bark on the trees of Sin was teal and smooth, almost like painted glass, whereas on Earth they were brown, rough, and broke up into various patterns. The grass retained the same basic structure, but the color was different, a dark green on earth whereas Sin’s had a blue-green color to it.

I just said that. And you call that "minor details"?

Louis’ parents had finally been content with a more detailed explanation of events, albeit still having a difficult time accepting that their son hadn’t been gone an hour and yet had experienced eleven months of life on another world that considered him Godlike in all aspects.

It is a bit far out.
And did he have to bring up that he's Fantasy Jesus? Dude's just flexing at this point.

Louis had just been happy to see them again and had taken every opportunity to hug and kiss them as he could.

Are we ever gonna get an actual scene for this heartfelt family reunion, or will we have to make do with the CliffsNotes version because Linkara (the author) so obviously doesn't want to focus on the lesser Williamsons any more than he absolutely has to?

After the reunion and story, the three members of the Williamson family got to work on preparing accommodations for the guests.

Speaking of the Williamsons: where's his older brother?

The guest room’s daybed was still in use by the unconscious woman, so that, sadly, had been taken.

Well, it's not every day that you have to deal with five surprise freeloaders, so get fucked, fellowship.

Jordahn had asked only for small accommodations like sheets, something she could use for slight comfort.

She'll fashion a pillow out of her axes.

Lithmenar and White Raven wanted slightly better accommodations...

Spoiled little divas.

... so each were assigned a futon located in the basement.

Why do they have futons?

Indow had been given a couch, much to her own joy.

Only the best for Linkara's cum dumpster.

(Except there won't be any cum dumping, because fantasy girls are icky and might give him fantasy syphilis.)

“How are you doing, Indow?” Louis asked, leaning against the front door as he looked down at his love.

Indow practically purred in her response.

“I am enjoying this very lovely world of yours. I feel so at ease, so comfortable and carefree here! My magicks almost feel... amplified.”

Does that mean she will get to solo encounters even harder than before?

Louis looked up at the sky, where Indow’s eyes were still gazing off into. He looked back down at her and winked.

“Want to fly for a bit?” he queried.

That's a weird euphemism for sex.
And wouldn't this attract unwanted attention for no reason?

As Louis’ wings began forming, Indow was already floating off the ground. However, the two kept their hands together as they went up until the span of Louis’ golden wings prevented him from keeping hold of her.

This kinda implies Indow carried him up a couple feet, since they can't hold hands when his hands are actually doing shit.

He took deep breaths as he got higher, stopping when he was about fifty feet off the ground.

That's barely a fifth of your precious Notre-Dame. I am disappoint.

He briefly considered what he might look like to the people below him, but as he opened his eyes, he stopped caring about people on the ground.

When did you ever care about other people? Or the consequences of your actions, for that matter?

Indow hovered several feet away from him, her hands behind her back as she looked at her love.

An uncommon flight pose, but I appreciate it.

She grinned at him, giving him a ‘come hither’ look.

Bitch you know he doesn't want to have sex with you.

(Though he might like to watch you getting it on with his dad.)

Louis flew over to her and Indow playfully floated away from him just outside of his reach. He grinned and tried once more, but she dodged it again. She giggled and extended her arms, flying down away from Louis like a mischievous pixie.

Anyone else getting rock fucking hard at this foreplay?

Louis, in turn, pursued her, descending towards the girl he loved as she went past a row of houses and towards a small forest (if one could call a long assortment of trees along the side of a road a forest).

I think the words you're looking for are "tree-lined street".

Indow flew up and down into the forest, teasing Louis into finding her before she popped back up again.

It's a line of trees. What are you gonna do, hide in the treetop?

After five minutes of the game, Louis finally caught Indow and held her in his arms. The two embraced and kissed, flying back hand- in-hand to Louis’ home for dinner.

Oh, so this foreplay was for the pizza. I get it.

*

“This, my good friends, is pizza. Eat heartily, but try not to take too much.” Louis said as he opened the Pizza Hut box top up and revealed to them his first example of Earth cuisine.

Pizza Hut? Really? That's the fine Terran cuisine whose absence has caused you existential nigthmares this past year?

Indow reached for one first, while the others were more reluctant in going for pieces of the food.

Even Lithmenar, who casually ate a strange alien fruit like he didn't give a fuck?

Jordahn, in particular, was examining the pizza with a skeptical look, making sure that she didn’t spot any pieces of meat mixed in with the cheese.

It might help knowing what kind of pizza this is.
Personally, I'd say Linkara's a massive dick if he apparently only orders one pizza and knows he has someone in the party who is at least vegetarian.

After Indow grabbed onto a slice of pizza, she pulled it away and onto her plate where she could get a better look at it before she began eating. She leaned in and sniffed at the dish, raising an eyebrow as she looked over at Louis.

“It’s quite... greasy,” she commented.

Louis rolled his eyes. “Yes, it’s supposed to be. Eat up or it’ll get cold.”

[Linkara will remember this.]

Indow shrugged and raised the triangle-shaped slice to her lips, biting off a piece quickly. She chewed for a few moments and swallowed, proceeding then to quickly gobble down the one slice and start reaching for another.

It seems the mystery pizza with ingredients unkown to us mere readers is up to her high standards

While Lithmenar poked at his slice with a fork, Jordahn and White Raven ate as calmly as Louis’ parents and his brother, George, who was still trying to wrap his head around the revelation that Louis had been gone for a year without anyone noticing it or that any time had passed at all.

Oh hi, Linkara's big brother. Is that really how you're introduced back into the plot? You're just suddenly there?

“So, let me see if I get this straight: I leave you alone for two hours and you manage to not only save a planet, but get a girlfriend and a whole heap of other people to stay at our house. That’s just typical, you know that, dork?” George commented.

Linkara's gonna be like

“Kindly do not refer to my love as ‘dork.’” Indow said between finishing one pizza slice and starting on another.

The Great Linkara has no need to defend himself against his lesser kin.

(Also how many slices of pizza are there?)

“You know, I just thought of something: if your friends are going to be staying here, Louis, we’re going to go through a lot of food really quickly.” Erica pointed out.

That's what makes them freeloaders, ma'am.
That and the fact they will obviously not compensate you for your troubles.

“Not to mention the bed situation is already a nightmare...” John also stated, referring to the lack of appropriate sleeping space in the house.

Now what ingenious idea is Linkara gonna whip out to make all of this a non-issue and continue to stop reality from getting in the way of his power fantasy?

“Sleeping arrangements aren’t that big a problem.”

You've certainly slept worse this past year, for the people of Sin apparently do not believe in tents.

“You’re right about the food, though, so we already have made a decision about that.” Louis explained, taking on another slice of pizza to his plate.

Please enlighten us, oh Chosen One.

“We shall remain on here for ten days and then return to Sin. It is a small time, I admit, but it should provide adequate time to enjoy some of the fruits of Earth and see if there are, indeed, any peculiarities in time when we travel from one world to another.” Indow said between gulping down pieces of her food.

"You have heard it, mother and father. I hereby order you to fetch us enough Pizza Hut to let us feast like kings for ten days!"

And if I've paid enough attention, the current time exchange rate appears to be 11 months on Sin for every hour on Earth. I don't think you want to wait for ten days to confirm this.

(Some quick eyeballing tells me we might be looking at 220 years in Sin time.)

“And are you going with them, honey?” Louis’ mother inquired, looking over at him.

"Of course, mother. If it weren't for Pizza Hut, I would've never returned to this shithole planet in the first place!"

Louis sat, swallowing the bite of pizza in his mouth and biting his lower lip. He opened his mouth to respond to her, but then stood up from his chair when he saw who was standing at the entranceway to the kitchen.

Convenient timing.

The woman whom they had found right after landing on Earth was leaning against the door, her blonde hair in a mess as she gripped onto the frame of the doorway.

Messy? Isn't her hair short?

The rest of the group looked to her and stood up, White Raven and Indow even going up to help her. Her general disposition seemed to be worn out and tired, her red armor having been removed earlier when White Raven had been assessing her injuries.

What's she wearing under the armor?
And will no one ever bring up how red armor is pretty darn Terafell-y?

Her voice was dry and cracked, but Louis understood what she said: “Life giver, please.”

I still think this has way too many syllables to be a got replacement for "water".

Louis nodded and darted over to the kitchen sink (the kitchen and dining room were adjoined)

Why do you think the layout of this house is more important than the pizza toppings?

She looked from one person to another, not recognizing a single one among them nor understanding her peculiar surroundings.

It would be pretty weird if you did recognize anyone.

“Who might you be, young lady?” John inquired.

The woman still seemed to be in a daze, but she turned to him and replied, “My name is Thesia... and I hope there’s no one here named Deiji...”

Ah ha! I knew it. This is all part of her grand keikaku. Probably. Maybe she's pretending to be nice, or maybe this is from before she became evil. Because non-linear time bullshit. Who knows.

And yes, Deiji. Got mentioned twice last book, and I have no idea who he is.

(I think he like spared Varek once, and somehow knew that Linkara and gang have made it to Earth.)

*

“Give me some, damn it!”

“Fuck you, I did all the work!”

Must be some vile Terran hoodlums, 'cause only Linkara dropped F-bombs in the previous books.

The two muggers argued continuously in a back alley of downtown St. Paul. With the night came the way the two had to make ends meat: thievery.

Can they also pull off sick parkour tricks like Lithmenar?

Both had knives in their hands, ready to stab one another over the wallet and purse they had just stolen off of a couple that had been walking home.

Do you two do this every time?

However, just before their argument could escalate any further, the alleyway was suddenly encased in light. The two hoodlums, in shock over the bright yellow illumination that had filled their alley without any visible source, covered their eyes and dropped the pilfered items.

Now it's fucking on.

They readied their weapons, as well, wondering if the police had actually managed to track them down or if they had been lured there by the shouting.

If you're paranoid about attracting cops you might want to avoid shouting in the first place.
Also if they are cops they likely have guns, and whipping out your knives is just gonna make them more likely to use them.

The light faded shortly afterwards, returning to its previous ambiance. The two uncovered their eyes and looked down the alley corridor, seeing a man crouching on the ground, his body encased in black armor as smoke drifted off of him as if he had been on fire a few seconds before.

Oh hi, Varek.
You're gonna get your teeth kicked in.

Forgoing normal sense in such a situation, curiosity overtook the two muggers as they walked up within reaching distance of the crouching man.

“Holy mother of-” one began to exclaim.

"It's a bloody cosplayer !"

However, before he could finish his sentence, the crouching man’s arm quickly lashed out and grabbed his leg, pulling tightly to the side and sending the law-breaker into a nearby brick wall.

Since when do you have super-strength? Did Linkara (the author) watch too much animu again?

The other mugger, in shock over how his companion had been flung away like a rag doll, proceeded to turn around and start running down the alley. Unfortunately for him, the crouching man rose and reached over to grasp the sword hanging on his side. He charged after the mugger and unsheathed his weapon, swiping it across his back. The mugger fell forward, yelping in pain.

That doesn't appear to be the kind of injury you can still be yelping about.

The crouching man brought his foot down on the mugger’s back and kept him pinned down.

“The Linkara,” he whispered, “where is he?”

This is used as the chapter's cliffhanger so Linkara (the author) doesn't have to write about the awkwardness and embarrassment that is bound to follow when it dawns upon Varek that nobody has any idea WTF he's talking about.

Next Time: Just how much has Varek been buffed? And will we ever find out what toppings are on the pizza? All that - and more - may or may not be answered next time!

(Srsly WTF was on that pizza? Inquiring minds need to know!)

[wulfenlord]

Rejoice, everyone!

Ready your eyes to feast upon

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Book 4, Chapter 2 - The Stirring of Wolves
(Or: Lone Wolf and Junk)


(I couldn't find a complete version of Spoony's cover he did for one of his FFX videos, so I settled for the next best thing.)

What shall await us in this exciting chapter? More family-friendly foreplay by Linkara and Indow? Will we finally know the pizza toppings? Will Varek notice that his antics are getting him nowhere?
Oh, and I guess we might find out what Young Thesia's deal is.

And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

We start our first few moments on back on Earth with confusing slapstick, as Linkara's acting like he's drunk or something due to the Stargate trip.
We are also informed that the reason his hair is back is because his real body has never left Earth and looks just as when he got isekai'd, which I'm sure isn't some convenient retcon.

It appears that time actually does move at different speeds in both worlds, with an hour on Earth being roughly eleven months on Sin. This gets kinda dumb when they later reveal that they're planning to stay on Earth for ten days before heading back to Sin to see if time actually does move faster there, because we're looking at over 200 Sin years that may have past in the meantime.

We are also introduced to the shop owner of the mysterious antique shop, who of course seems to know all about Sin and the Linkara. Naturally we can't have him exposition dump just yet, so Linkara gets distracted almost immediately, and will likely keep getting distracted for the next couple chapters.
The distraction? An injured, short-haired version Thesia who was also a ghost for a moment before turning back normal and healing all of her wounds. Because reasons.
I'm just gonna call her Young Thesia, as I'm pretty sure this is her from before she became a time-traveling evil overlord who spends all her time relishing in her non-linear keikakus. She got mentioned every now and then since Book 2, as some temporary ally of Varek who supposedly got killed months ago on Sin. Instead she apparently spent the last half Earth hour or so being a ghost on the ground before the antique shop. Sure, why not.

(Also I have no fucking idea which Thesia was the one that showed up as a ghost in Book 2. Guess she was transparent like Young Thesia, but Young Thesia has short hair and all other versions of her have long.)

The family reunion goes about like I expected, with his parents being glorified background characters who are treated more like servants than the actual heads of the family, who apparently just have to put up with whatever Linkara decides for this interdimensional holiday trip for his party. They are only really allowed to spout obvious questions and observations, with anything more involved - like Linkara explaining the whole situation to them - being relegated to a quick summary. His big brother has it even worse, since he just phases into existence with no explanation or introduction to make one dumb comment that doesn't even get a real reaction from anyone.

The closest we ever get to anything sexual between our MC and his waifu involves playful hide-and-seek in a "forest" (aka a sparse line of trees, because looking up terms is for losers), which is one Disney song number away from being completely gay.

The long-awaited pizza feast turns out to be a bit of a letdown:

• It's Pizza Hut.
• The pizza they eat is of unkown quantity and type. All we know is that it's "greasy", and that Indow eats like half a dozen slices.
  • You'd think Linkara (the character & author) would have some kind of favorite pizza topping to sperg about, but we get nothing. This reminds me of when he included a Gundam in his last mind battle without ever specifying which one (because he doesn't actually know much about Gundam), which is fucking bizarre.
• Despite only mentioning one pizza box, I'm just gonna assume they've ordered multiple. Otherwise the logistics just wouldn't work out.
• Thanks for everything being so fucking vague, we have no idea if there even is a veggie pizza, which would probably count as a microaggression because Gyaru Casca famously doesn't eat meat, and pizza is kind of assumed to have meat on it by default.

As the fellowship portion of the chapter nears its end, Linkara's parents ask the obvious question of whether or not he's gonna fuck off with his minions back to Sin. Naturally we can't have him answer this just yet again, so there's gonna be another series of distractions - in this case Young Thesia regaining consciousness.

Meanwhile, Varek has already made his stunning Terminator-style entrance - and it seems he has freshly graduated from the Von Peasantkicking School of Plot-based Power Levels, because as the closest thing this book has to a main villain atm, he's suddenly a thousand times more badass and handily tosses people around with motherfucking super-strength.
His newfound power is kinda underminded by him still being a massive idiot, though.

I mean, you know how Terminators usually know who they're looking for? How they know their appearance and actual name? And how they have a general idea where to find their target, or at least where to get that information?
Yeah, Varek has none of that, so all he's left with is doing a true murderhobo-style investigation where he cripples random people while shouting "WHERE'S THE LINKARA?!"


Realistically, I can only see four scenarios that might get him what he wants, though I'm sure this book will provide one too dumb for me to have considered:

• The random people he decides to pick a fight with just happen to be the fellowship.
• He spots Raven or vice versa (since they should be able to recognize each other).
• He spots Indow (provided he knows that catgirls are not native to Earth).
• The fellowship catches a live news coverage of his inevitable skirmish with the local police force (which I'm just gonna assume he's winning because if his armor didn't make him bulletproof he'd be deader than disco by the time Linkara and gang show up at the scene.).

(Or make that just the last scenario if they're not in the same city, which I'm not entirely sure about.)

ChapterShow

“I’m- or, rather, I was a Conqueror.” Thesia stated.

After briefly allowing Thesia to relax from the sudden rush of waking up, the assembled group had retreated to the living room, hoping the cushioned sofa would be a better place for their formerly-comatose companion. Despite the fact that she was beginning to look more comfortable, the group noticed how she kept bringing her hand towards her face to the area that the scar had been. White Raven stood nearby, leaning against a wall with her arms crossed.

“I’ve heard of you, Thesia. Your only claim to that title is leading a gang of bandits into a city in Ünaré and managing to take it over for a few days before the army retook it.” She replied.

Thesia smiled and leaned back in the couch. “And that was a glorious time, if I do say so, myself. No one believed that some simple blonde woman could do such a thing in Ünaré. After all, such gorgeous women were meant to be ladies of pristine quality and refinement. We were meant to be bargaining tools in Ünaré for people to gain social favor. But I knew we were every bit as strong as the men and I proved it to them. I bested every male those bandits sent against me and made them swear their allegiance to me. Of course, Ünaré was also suffering from attacks by the Darkness at the time, so I admit that the army probably would have struck back against me sooner had they not been busy at the time.”

“But how did you get to the point you were at when we found you?” Jordahn inquired. “Certainly a warrior was in no state to simply be transported away to another world.”

“Oh, if I was just a simple warrior, no, but you see I learned something after my defeat at the hands of the Ünaré military. I learned that I needed to be even stronger than the normal warriors of the world and not just be their equals.” Thesia explained further.

“And how did you do that?” Louis queried.

“I learned magicks.” She responded with a sly grin.

Indow, Lithmenar, and White Raven gasped at her, Indow’s look in particular one of disdain and hatred. Everyone else in the room was baffled.

“Did someone turn over two pages at once?” George asked.

“She’s a witch.” Indow growled.

“If anything, it just further proved my superior strength.” Thesia laughed.

“Umm... Indow? What’s the big deal about the witch thing, anyway?” Louis wondered, looking from one of his companions to the next for clarification.

Indow explained. “There are reasons why people must go through the Guild of Sorcery and Magic in order to use spells. Magic energy is not something to be played with or taken lightly. It can take someone years to master, and even then it’s not without great pain and a significant amount of training. If ordinary people attempt to learn magic without the supervision of an authorized Sorcerer or Sorceress, the lack of preparation on an individual can make a person be consumed by the magic or permanently injured. Worse, there have been instances where someone panics in the middle of the absorption into their body and accidentally releases the raw magic into the area around them, causing death and destruction in their wake. Witches go against the laws that require proper authorization to become a magic-user. Some manage to survive the process, but after they are captured for breaking the law, they tend to be executed if not thrown into a dungeon for the rest of their lives.”

“I managed to survive... if one can call what happened to me surviving.” Thesia said, her smile fading.

“What do you mean?” Erica asked.

“After my independent study into magicks, I emerged from the process quite... enraged. I vowed revenge for my defeat and looked for the strongest magicks in the world, including the Forbidden Spells. Don’t look so surprised, Priestess, it’s not as much of a secret as you would have some believe. Eventually, I located them in Vahn and copied down as much as I could find before I made my escape. That’s when things began to go wrong...”

Indow rolled her eyes at the idea that it was at that time that things were going wrong.

“Ever hear of a demon named Gritsnak?” Thesia asked.

Louis looked to Indow for guidance.

“He was a powerful demon who served the Darkness a hundred and fifty years ago. He pillaged, ravaged, and conquered like no other. However, during this time, a young Linkaran acolyte accidentally discovered magic. He managed to destroy Gritsnak by focusing enough wind spells into a tornado that killed the beast. Many demons that had been under the employ of the Darkness used the name of Gritsnak as a tribute to their original superior, but none have ever been so vile and powerful as the original.” She explained.

Thesia continued. “As I gained more insight into magicks, I began studying necronomica in an effort to gain my own forces. You’d be surprised how few mercenaries want to work for a woman. Through my studies, I discovered methods of resurrecting very powerful demons that had been slain centuries past. They weren’t easy by any stretch of the imagination, but it was possible. As such, I went to a representative of the Darkness and offered my services. The Darkness had been seeking methods of resurrecting his fallen troops in light of the fact that the war with the Five Lands wasn’t going as he had planned. He assigned a Dark Knight General to aide me in my efforts. To make a long story short,”

“Too late...” George murmured.

“A group of individuals tracked us down. Although we succeeded in bringing Gritsnak back to life, they had unusual weapons in their possession that defeated him as soon as he brought back to life. I was ready to take my chances and flee, but one of the individuals was a ghost named Deiji. He sliced me across the face and chest in one clean cut. After that, I fell unconscious and awoke in this place.” Thesia finished.

“And now?” Lithmenar asked, crossing his arms.

“What do you mean?” Thesia inquired.

“Well, you just admitted to being a former ally of the Darkness and a criminal, what is it you intend on doing now?” Indow asked.

Thesia opened her mouth as if she were going to say something. A moment after that, she closed her mouth and leaned back in the couch, blinking in surprise.

“You know, I’ve really no idea.” Thesia replied, mulling over the realization that she had no clue as to what she intended on doing next.

“Perhaps you should be doing some thinking back in the guest room.” Erica suggested.

Thesia nodded and quickly stood, still possessing her baffled expression as she walked back to her accommodations. After they had heard the door close, the group looked to one another and began considering the options before them.

“She’s a danger to all of us and she’s a criminal on Sin. I recommend we tie her up and use the spell to send her back there.” Indow said.

“Considering she hasn’t tried to attack any of us and didn’t have a rebuke for the question of what she wants to do with her life suggests that she may be rethinking her earlier desire to conquer.” White Raven put out to the field.

“Well, if she does suddenly decide that she wants to murder us all, would you be so kind as to make sure the fighting takes place outside of my house? I’m going to go take care of the pizza.” Erica said as she stood.

“We’ll help.” John volunteered, pointing at George for him to come and aide his mother.

Louis was tempted to call his parents back to aide in the decision. After all, they were already taking on the responsibility of housing four of his friends with no prior notice or warning, so he felt that they probably should be involved in the process if that number was to go up to five. However, as he saw them get up and work on the dishes and repacking the pizza back into the refrigerator, he caught the corner of his father’s face as it turned to look at him. There was the faintest hint of not only joy but pride. Louis realized that his parents did believe his story and were not only ecstatic that he’d survived the journey but also matured greatly, even if his body didn’t show it.

The debating continued for another two hours while Thesia sat in the silence of the guest room. Indow seemed to be the most fervently in favor of sending her back to Sin, but she did acknowledge that part of it was her extreme distaste for the fact that Thesia was a witch. Before White Raven could even bring it up, Indow further stated that she also understood the position of White Raven, herself a former wrongdoer, to give Thesia a chance for redemption. Indow’s problem was that while White Raven had gone out of her way to prove her true intentions and desire for atonement for the horrible deeds she had committed, Thesia had seemed to show no such repentance. In fact, she was almost prideful of having done what she had done.

Eventually, it went to vote and the majority was inclined to allow her to stay and see what she would choose to do. At the end of the third hour, Thesia came out of the guest bedroom and into the living room to speak to the others.

“I’ve had a great deal to think about for the past few hours. I decided to analyze everything that’s happened to me over the past few years and see what it had gotten me. Do you know what I’ve gained with my attempts at conquest?” Thesia asked rhetorically.

The group exchanged glances, not sure of what the answer would be.

“Absolutely nothing.” Thesia said in answer to her own question. “One could say that my magicks were a major benefit, but everything I lost in order to get them and the sheer destructive power at my command isn’t what I got them for. I wanted to create something new, a new Empire, but not tear down everything else in the process. That’s all the Forbidden Spells are really good for: chaos and destruction. I’ve conquered nothing since those early days and I doubt at this rate I’m going to be conquering anything anytime soon.

“I believe that all of us have destinies, whether it to be to wallow in poverty or to be exalted to the position of a God. I now think that what I thought was my destiny was a mistake on my part or at least a way to show me my true destiny. I have arrived now on this world and I am ready to begin something... different. With your permission, I’d like to remain here with you all while I seek out this new destiny. Fate has delivered me into your hands and I will be happy to see what you have to offer to me.”

The group looked at one another once again, smiling. Louis extended his hand out to Thesia, who took it and gladly shook hands with him.

“We’re going to need more beds...” Lithmenar pointed out as he leaned against a living room wall.

*

“What is this place?”

Varek the Destroyer stood upon the roof of a six-story building in downtown St. Paul and looked down upon the streets. His cape fluttered in the wind as he crossed his arms, examining all the events occurring below him. Varek glared at the people who walked by, his fists clenched in rage. He turned around, remaining in the same pose as he looked at the man tied up on the rooftop ground. The man was one of the two criminals he had assaulted upon arriving on Earth. His body was covered in bruises and cuts as a result of Varek interrogating him earlier.

“I come from a world known as Sin. Do you know why we refer to it as such?” Varek inquired.

The mugger remained silent. Varek had half-choked him before during the initial interrogation, so his throat remained sore and it hurt for him to speak.

“I admit most people aren’t aware of the legend behind it. Even if they did know it, they wouldn’t make the connection right away. To them, the word ‘sin’ is nothing more than the name of their world. Only well-educated nobles are aware of the negative connotations associated with the word. According to myth, Sin once experienced a great catastrophe as a result of a single person’s sinful behavior. As such, the Goddess Mistress Kaos Dragon decided that the world must forever be encased in a state of sin, so she changed the name of the world, made everyone forget the old name and replaced it with the new one.”

Varek walked over to the mugger and crossed his arms as he stared down at him. The mugger responded only by looking back up at Varek’s face, too weak to even ask what Varek was talking about.

“Do your Gods think so little of your world that they would willingly allow you to wallow in this pit? Popular rumor was that the world of the Linkara was an amazing place filled with innovation and a species of thoughtful, wonderful beings that stood on top of it all. And yet all I behold is a landscape that has paved over things bright and lit and covered the remains in a thick layer of grime and filth. This place both disgusts me and entices me.” Varek sneered and walked away from the man back to the edge of the building.

“Sin leaks out from every crack and crevice like some dark, murky life giver that drips from the gutters of a small house. I hate to say it, but the Darkness would have thrived in a place like this. I can feel every bit of the... I suppose ‘emptiness’ would be the appropriate word that comes from this place. The hopelessness of its people are tossed from the windows and I breathe it all in from the air. The Darkness would have built quite a following from this place. I embrace the Dark willingly because it has truth and meaning to it, but the darkness here is without soul. My God would have given purpose to it.” He continued.

The mugger swallowed hard as his hands, bound behind his back, managed to slip into the back pocket of his jeans and slip out a box-cutter. He managed to extend the blade and turned it around, slowly working the sharp edge into the ropes that kept him tied up. He hoped he’d be able to escape while his armored assailant continued to ramble.

Varek ran his hand through his short hair, sighing. “My hair is beginning to return to its original shade. Is that what this world does to you? Corrupt anything that is righteous and strip away the good in favor of the horrific past?”

The mugger finally managed to slice through the ropes, freeing his hands. He was careful not to make any sound as he sat up, bringing the knife around to the front so he could cut loose the restraints on his legs. Varek’s eyes narrowed as he reached down and gripped the hilt of his sword.

“It’s no surprise that the Linkara comes from such a place as this. Evil is born from that which resembles it. The Elven warrior Shiva spoke that when she liberated her land, but I suppose you wouldn’t know of anything about that, since there are no Elves on this perverse world.” Varek grumbled.

As soon as his restraints were removed, the mugger stood up and began to slowly make his way towards the roof entrance. Varek leaned forward and rested his head on his hand, thinking to himself for a moment as the mugger inched closer to the roof entrance. After a few moments in that position, Varek stood and pulled his sword out from its scabbard. The black metal didn’t reflect any of the light of the moon as he raised it above his head.

“If you wish to live a little longer, I’d suggest you cease your attempt at escape.” Varek said, not even looking at the mugger.

The mugger stopped instantly and remained still as Varek examined his blade, swinging it around several times as if he was attempting to ascertain his skill with it. He moved it around, practicing with it for several moments.

“You are an example of how this world is corrupted. Sin also has similar varieties of your ilk, and they will also be cleansed once I return to my home.” Varek stated.

And with that, Varek quickly turned about and launched his sword at the mugger. The mugger, too surprised by the sudden assault, didn’t move fast enough to evade the blade as it plunged into his chest. The sword continued moving, imbedding itself through the wall of the roof exit and impaling the mugger on it. The mugger died several seconds later, coughing up blood as his body went limp. Varek calmly walked over to the mugger’s body and gripped the corpse by the shoulder with one hand while the other grasped the hilt of the sword and pulled. When the sword was freed from the wall and the mugger’s dead form, Varek let go of the body and let it slide down, a trail of blood following it. Varek then re-sheathed his sword and walked back over to the edge of the roof.

“They are also much faster than you. If that’s what this pitiful excuse for a world has to offer for its villains, I shudder to think of what it has for heroes.” Varek commented to himself.

Varek turned away and walked to the other side of the roof exit, where the other mugger was also tied up. However, unlike his companion, he didn’t have any tools in his pockets to escape the ropes that held him. He did, however, have a large gash across his backside from when Varek had first appeared. The bleeding had stopped, but there was still enough pain from it to keep the mugger alert. Varek kneeled down and turned the mugger’s head so he could look at him.

“I presume that from the fact that you never screamed my name in horror, that you are unfamiliar with me?” he inferred.

The mugger nodded in response, a little afraid to speak up to his captor.

“Then I shall tell you and I will let you tell others and allow word to spread. Eventually, perhaps, this will even reach the Linkara. I am the servant of Darkness, a proponent and warrior of its cause. This world will be engulfed in new, primal Darkness and cleansed of its enemies. I am the Destroyer, the great sword that shall pierce the soul of this world and make it bow before its true master. Tell them that and more, brute, for this is but a prophecy of things to come. The wolf has gone hunting for its prey.”

And with that, Varek calmly cut the ropes on the mugger’s legs and walked away from his former captive, who was a little stunned to believe that he was still alive. He later made his home for the night in an alley behind a warehouse. He positioned himself between two garbage cans and a dumpster, kneeling against a brick wall while holding his sword between his legs. Varek thought it likely that thieves roamed the streets of the city during the night to scrounge for whatever they could get in order to survive and he was not prepared to let his armor become their next prize. As such, he slept lightly, holding his sword at the ready for whatever might come to attack...

*

“I’ve always been curious about the conflict between day and night.” Thesia stated.

“What about it in particular?” White Raven queried.

“Well, the night works so hard to hold onto the sky and plant its seeds of stars upon the world, but it always succumbs to the day when the sun rises again. The light of the stars is overtaken by that of the sun and then the whole process begins again when the sun sets. And then, according to myth, there are two Queens that control it all, but they’re actually not in conflict, but companions who meet every once in awhile to shake hands and acknowledge that both are doing something right.” Thesia explained.

“More legends suggest that the two Queens actually are the ones who control the two kinds of magic.” White Raven said.

The two laid out in front of Louis’ home on the grass and gazed up at the night sky. Everyone else in the house had been more than happy to go to bed and try not to worry about anything else that might surprise them until tomorrow. Thesia and White Raven however weren’t sleepy, so they decided to do what two people did when they had nothing else better to do: sit down and talk. In this case, they had decided to get some fresh air and look at the stars. Although Louis lived in a relatively small community, there was still enough light pollution to obscure a few stars... but not very many.

“So, you’re the infamous Blood Raven, eh?” Thesia inquired

“Not anymore.” White Raven replied.

“But you’re the one people call the ‘Butcher of Vahn?’”

“Yes.”

“...I slaughtered the entire population of the Terlough capitol.”

“This is not turning out to be a very pleasant conversation.”

Thesia turned over and laid on her side as she looked at White Raven. “I just want to know what I should be feeling about it. Now that I’ve looked at my life and realized that my path as a Conqueror wasn’t the correct one, I’m feeling grief... but I admit I’m not sure if it’s what I should be experiencing.”

“Grief would be an appropriate reaction.” White Raven replied.

“Is it what you felt after Vahn?” Thesia asked.

“Not at first. Redemption is not just something you decide to look for one day. After I was exiled from the Dark Knights, my first thoughts were actually of suicide for what I had lost. That changed over time from a very wide range of emotions, including rage, fear, and even a little bliss. Eventually, I sought atonement for the horrible actions I caused at Vahn, but even then, there was always a part of me that cared more for returning to the Darkness than about making amends for it.” White Raven answered.

“Because you were unsure of your destiny?”

“In a matter of speaking. I do not perceive of destiny in the religious manner you do. I believe that we are constantly shaping what is to come by our thoughts and actions, so we should always be careful about what we say or do. We can overcome previous things done by creating new consequences through willpower and activity, albeit with more positive results.”

Thesia sat up. “In my case, I must abandon everything done before and begin life here. I hope that the boy will be a good teacher for living in this place.”

“I would allow him time to adjust to being back here before we pressure him into teaching us the ways of this world. Did you learn anything else when you were meditating on your choices earlier?” White Raven asked, sitting up beside her.

“Only that I am very hungry. Is there any more of that greasy dish still available?” Thesia queried.

“I believe that Louis’ family placed it in the cooling box. Come, we’ll feast for a bit longer and then go to dream of a brighter future.”

Next Time: Of fuck, it's the Code Poet.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Still not impressed with Varek.

RiffingShow

“I’m- or, rather, I was a Conqueror.” Thesia stated.

Don't worry, they'll probably think you're cool. Just ask the assassins.

After briefly allowing Thesia to relax from the sudden rush of waking up...

I'm glad Linkara (the author) didn't have a thesaurus. Otherwise this would probably read like The Eye of Argon.

... the assembled group had retreated to the living room, hoping the cushioned sofa would be a better place for their formerly-comatose companion.

Turns out she prefered the hard floor.

Despite the fact that she was beginning to look more comfortable, the group noticed how she kept bringing her hand towards her face to the area that the scar had been.

It's like she got her face bisected or something.

White Raven stood nearby, leaning against a wall with her arms crossed.

Raven is leaning against a wall.
Lithmenar is eating an apple.

You gotta love these random little "And here's what [character] is doing" asides that you could insert pretty much anywhere. I might just do that for fun.

“I’ve heard of you, Thesia. Your only claim to that title is leading a gang of bandits into a city in Ünaré and managing to take it over for a few days before the army retook it.” She replied.

Fucking loser. Can only take over an entire city for a few days

Thesia smiled and leaned back in the couch. “And that was a glorious time, if I do say so, myself.”

"Verily, our looting, murdering and raping were a jolly good time!"

"After all, such gorgeous women were meant to be ladies of pristine quality and refinement. We were meant to be bargaining tools in Ünaré for people to gain social favor. But I knew we were every bit as strong as the men and I proved it to them. I bested every male those bandits sent against me and made them swear their allegiance to me."

Is this about the much-vaunted sexism of Sin that is never actually shown in practice? Shit doesn't even make sense with regards to what is actually going on in this series:

• Female soldiers have been around for at least a thousand years.
• Even the bad guys have lady knights.
• They make up a good chunk of the priesthood and spellcasters.
• Even the queen from one of the most bigoted, sexist and evil kingdoms around is jacked af.
• Also those assassins have like a shitload of chicks.

The only thing more "Tell, don't show" than this supposedly rampant sexism is the Dark Knights' telepathy.

“Of course, Ünaré was also suffering from attacks by the Darkness at the time, so I admit that the army probably would have struck back against me sooner had they not been busy at the time.”

"I stole this city under their noses when they were distracted!"

“But how did you get to the point you were at when we found you?” Jordahn inquired. “Certainly a warrior was in no state to simply be transported away to another world.”

Considering the hoops you guys had to jump through to get here, you shouldbe surprised at seeing anyone from Sin, no matter their occupation.

“Oh, if I was just a simple warrior, no, but you see I learned something after my defeat at the hands of the Ünaré military. I learned that I needed to be even stronger than the normal warriors of the world and not just be their equals.” Thesia explained further.

I think them having an entire army while you just had a glorified warband was a much bigger factor than you not being swole enough.

“And how did you do that?” Louis queried.

“I learned magicks.” She responded with a sly grin.

Indow, Lithmenar, and White Raven gasped at her, Indow’s look in particular one of disdain and hatred. Everyone else in the room was baffled.

“Did someone turn over two pages at once?” George asked.

Things do happen somewhat faster than usual, aren't they?
I mean, last book we spent two chapters each on everyone sitting around in a ship and cave, respectively.

“She’s a witch.” Indow growled.

“If anything, it just further proved my superior strength.” Thesia laughed.

“Umm... Indow? What’s the big deal about the witch thing, anyway?” Louis wondered, looking from one of his companions to the next for clarification.

Now will Linkara (the author) find a way to make this whole magic system/cosmology even more convoluted and nonsensical? There's gotta be more to "witches" just being spellcasters without a loicense.

Also I feel it's another point against this whole sexism thing that these spellcasters are refered to by "witch", implying once again that spellcasters are primarily female.

Indow explained. “There are reasons why people must go through the Guild of Sorcery and Magic in order to use spells. Magic energy is not something to be played with or taken lightly. It can take someone years to master, and even then it’s not without great pain and a significant amount of training. If ordinary people attempt to learn magic without the supervision of an authorized Sorcerer or Sorceress, the lack of preparation on an individual can make a person be consumed by the magic or permanently injured. Worse, there have been instances where someone panics in the middle of the absorption into their body and accidentally releases the raw magic into the area around them, causing death and destruction in their wake."

Seems like they're mostly a danger to themselves, unless you let them do "the absorption" (whatever that is) inside a city.

"Witches go against the laws that require proper authorization to become a magic-user. Some manage to survive the process, but after they are captured for breaking the law, they tend to be executed if not thrown into a dungeon for the rest of their lives.”

How do they decide which penalty to apply? And why would you leave a human bomb rotting in your dungeon?

“I managed to survive... if one can call what happened to me surviving.” Thesia said, her smile fading.

“What do you mean?” Erica asked.

I just noticed the book's doing that thing again where a newly-introduced character is overexplained. Don't you wanna save Thesia's epic backstory for later?

“After my independent study into magicks, I emerged from the process quite... enraged. I vowed revenge for my defeat and looked for the strongest magicks in the world, including the Forbidden Spells. Don’t look so surprised, Priestess, it’s not as much of a secret as you would have some believe. Eventually, I located them in Vahn and copied down as much as I could find before I made my escape. That’s when things began to go wrong...”

Maybe leaving the most dangerous spells known to man in a random page in a random book in a random drawer in a random house was not a smart idea. You should keep that shit in the Wizard King's Sovereign's vault.

Indow rolled her eyes at the idea that it was at that time that things were going wrong.

"Can you believe this bitch?!"

“Ever hear of a demon named Gritsnak?” Thesia asked.

Louis looked to Indow for guidance.

Oh, it's that weird background character who died before this series even started.

“He was a powerful demon who served the Darkness a hundred and fifty years ago."

Didn't he die fairly recently in Book 1?

"He pillaged, ravaged, and conquered like no other. However, during this time, a young Linkaran acolyte accidentally discovered magic."

Was that before or after this magic space dragon religion came to be? 'Cause it would be pretty weird if they existed before, but just never figured out that their gods hand out spells like candy.

"He managed to destroy Gritsnak by focusing enough wind spells into a tornado that killed the beast. Many demons that had been under the employ of the Darkness used the name of Gritsnak as a tribute to their original superior, but none have ever been so vile and powerful as the original.” She explained.

There are multiple Gritsnaks. That ought to fix any continuity issues!
Also that makes at least two Gritsnaks who suffered death by tornado.

Thesia continued. “As I gained more insight into magicks, I began studying necronomica in an effort to gain my own forces. You’d be surprised how few mercenaries want to work for a woman."

Are you still going on about this?

"Through my studies, I discovered methods of resurrecting very powerful demons that had been slain centuries past. They weren’t easy by any stretch of the imagination, but it was possible."

"Unfortunately, they also thought that girls were icky, and promptly killed themselves again."

"As such, I went to a representative of the Darkness and offered my services. The Darkness had been seeking methods of resurrecting his fallen troops in light of the fact that the war with the Five Lands wasn’t going as he had planned. He assigned a Dark Knight General to aide me in my efforts. To make a long story short,”

Wait, all the undead shit from Book 1 and 2 was thanks to her? WTF have the Darkness and his little army of evil wizards been doing these past 300 years?

“Too late...” George murmured.

Are you doing the riffing now, George?

“A group of individuals tracked us down. Although we succeeded in bringing Gritsnak back to life, they had unusual weapons in their possession that defeated him as soon as he brought back to life."

Either all of the Darkness' minions are fucking pussies, or A'Trex and his stupid mall ninja blades are OP af.

I was ready to take my chances and flee, but one of the individuals was a ghost named Deiji. He sliced me across the face and chest in one clean cut. After that, I fell unconscious and awoke in this place.” Thesia finished.

Oh right. One of the four members of the B-Team was a ghost for some reason. And the fourth was some demon kid thing I think? What the fuck is up with this team? And will this ever get explained? Why is there a ghost killing people in the name of the law, anyways?

“And now?” Lithmenar asked, crossing his arms.

“What do you mean?” Thesia inquired.

“Well, you just admitted to being a former ally of the Darkness and a criminal, what is it you intend on doing now?” Indow asked.

She's a crazy bitch who allies with anyone and anything to fulfill her lust for revenge and power, but I'm sure she will convince you to trust her.
Until the inevitable betrayal when she becomes Evil Time Lord Thesia, of course.

Thesia opened her mouth as if she were going to say something. A moment after that, she closed her mouth and leaned back in the couch, blinking in surprise.

“You know, I’ve really no idea.” Thesia replied, mulling over the realization that she had no clue as to what she intended on doing next.

I see. Play dumb and let them fill in the blanks themselves. Their desire for peace and goodness shall be their undoing!

“Perhaps you should be doing some thinking back in the guest room.” Erica suggested.

Also call the cops, Momkara.

After they had heard the door close, the group looked to one another and began considering the options before them.

She's totally gonna evesdrop on this.

“She’s a danger to all of us and she’s a criminal on Sin. I recommend we tie her up and use the spell to send her back there.” Indow said.

10bux Linkara won't agree, and chastise her for believing that an evil person is still evil.
Bonus points if he brings up Raven.

“Considering she hasn’t tried to attack any of us and didn’t have a rebuke for the question of what she wants to do with her life suggests that she may be rethinking her earlier desire to conquer.” White Raven put out to the field.

"She didn't immediately fall upon us like a rabid animal, so I guess she's good now."


I see you're still in full cope mode after giving up on your chase for Myrrha.

“Well, if she does suddenly decide that she wants to murder us all, would you be so kind as to make sure the fighting takes place outside of my house? I’m going to go take care of the pizza.” Erica said as she stood.

She acts like this isn't the first time Linkara invited complete nutjobs into the house.

“We’ll help.” John volunteered, pointing at George for him to come and aide his mother.

That's right, you filthy NPCs. Piss off so the real characters can conduct important business!

Louis was tempted to call his parents back to aide in the decision. After all, they were already taking on the responsibility of housing four of his friends with no prior notice or warning, so he felt that they probably should be involved in the process if that number was to go up to five.

She was already included when the various guest beds and futons were distributed, you nimrod.

However, as he saw them get up and work on the dishes and repacking the pizza back into the refrigerator, he caught the corner of his father’s face as it turned to look at him. There was the faintest hint of not only joy but pride. Louis realized that his parents did believe his story and were not only ecstatic that he’d survived the journey but also matured greatly, even if his body didn’t show it.

"No need to involve my parents in this. I know they believe in me!"


(He's probably just relieved he has found a girlfriend and is therefore not gay after all.)

The debating continued for another two hours while Thesia sat in the silence of the guest room.

Those are two hours she could've used to GTFO in case they decide to burn the witch after all.

Indow seemed to be the most fervently in favor of sending her back to Sin, but she did acknowledge that part of it was her extreme distaste for the fact that Thesia was a witch.

So what? It's not like you want to murder the bitch. She'll probably happier on Sin because WTF is she supposed to do here on Earth? Munch on that mystery pizza and watch Sailor Moon?
Also if you think she's still evil and just waiting to create an army of the dead, what good will letting her loose on Sin gonna do?

Before White Raven could even bring it up, Indow further stated that she also understood the position of White Raven, herself a former wrongdoer, to give Thesia a chance for redemption.

These CliffNotes discussions are getting really meta here.

Indow’s problem was that while White Raven had gone out of her way to prove her true intentions and desire for atonement for the horrible deeds she had committed, Thesia had seemed to show no such repentance. In fact, she was almost prideful of having done what she had done.

Tbf, she didn't exactly have much time to change her ways.

Eventually, it went to vote and the majority was inclined to allow her to stay and see what she would choose to do. At the end of the third hour, Thesia came out of the guest bedroom and into the living room to speak to the others.

Naturally they will keep her close by, where she can decide to shank them in their sleep if she so chooses.

“I’ve had a great deal to think about for the past few hours. I decided to analyze everything that’s happened to me over the past few years and see what it had gotten me."

Those are real words spoken by a real human.

Do you know what I’ve gained with my attempts at conquest?” Thesia asked rhetorically.

The group exchanged glances, not sure of what the answer would be.

"One Quarter Pounder with cheese and a chocolate milk shake."

“Absolutely nothing.” Thesia said in answer to her own question.

“One could say that my magicks were a major benefit, but everything I lost in order to get them and the sheer destructive power at my command isn’t what I got them for. I wanted to create something new, a new Empire, but not tear down everything else in the process. That’s all the Forbidden Spells are really good for: chaos and destruction. I’ve conquered nothing since those early days and I doubt at this rate I’m going to be conquering anything anytime soon.

Have you tried running for office?

“I believe that all of us have destinies, whether it to be to wallow in poverty or to be exalted to the position of a God."

That's right, kids. Never try to aim for something higher. If you're living in a shithole, it's because that's your destiny!

"I now think that what I thought was my destiny was a mistake on my part or at least a way to show me my true destiny. I have arrived now on this world and I am ready to begin something... different. With your permission, I’d like to remain here with you all while I seek out this new destiny. Fate has delivered me into your hands and I will be happy to see what you have to offer to me.”

That's a lot of words to say "Let's see what happens!"

We will never find out why she ended up here, will we?

The group looked at one another once again, smiling. Louis extended his hand out to Thesia, who took it and gladly shook hands with him.

“We’re going to need more beds...” Lithmenar pointed out as he leaned against a living room wall.

FFS she's already living in the guest bedroom.

*

“What is this place?”

Varek the Destroyer stood upon the roof of a six-story building in downtown St. Paul and looked down upon the streets.

Depending on what you mean, I'd say "city", "street", or "roof".

His cape fluttered in the wind as he crossed his arms, examining all the events occurring below him.

Varek glared at the people who walked by, his fists clenched in rage.

"How dare these people go about their daily lives?!"

He turned around, remaining in the same pose as he looked at the man tied up on the rooftop ground. The man was one of the two criminals he had assaulted upon arriving on Earth. His body was covered in bruises and cuts as a result of Varek interrogating him earlier.

Is that the guy you smashed against the wall, or the one whose spine you cut in half?
Also how long did have torture the guy before it dawned upon you that you're wasting your time?
And why do you keep him around? To deliver your thrilling exposition?

“I come from a world known as Sin. Do you know why we refer to it as such?” Varek inquired.

"Because love ain't it."

The mugger remained silent. Varek had half-choked him before during the initial interrogation, so his throat remained sore and it hurt for him to speak.

I can see why you never made it into the Darkness' Top 5.

“I admit most people aren’t aware of the legend behind it. Even if they did know it, they wouldn’t make the connection right away."

"To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand the legend..."

"To them, the word ‘sin’ is nothing more than the name of their world. Only well-educated nobles are aware of the negative connotations associated with the word."

So none of your religions know of the concept of sinning? Or do they have a dumb replacement word for it?

"According to myth, Sin once experienced a great catastrophe as a result of a single person’s sinful behavior."

I can see why you need a Stephen-Hawking-level IQ to "make the connection".

"As such, the Goddess Mistress Kaos Dragon decided that the world must forever be encased in a state of sin, so she changed the name of the world, made everyone forget the old name and replaced it with the new one.”

"There was this sinful man who was so sinful that the magic space dragon decided to rename our planet 'Sin' to punish us all!"
"But father, I still don't understand. Why 'Sin'?"
"You have to read between the lines, my dear..."


Is "Mistress" like part of her name or something? No one ever says her name without it.
And how did vague, pseudo-philosphical and literally godless bullshit faiths like the Linkaran one even became popular when people know there's a magic space dragon? If gods are real in your fantasy setting, religion is less about believing and more about picking your favorite team.

Varek walked over to the mugger and crossed his arms as he stared down at him. The mugger responded only by looking back up at Varek’s face, too weak to even ask what Varek was talking about.

He's probably also dying from internal and external bleeding.

“Do your Gods think so little of your world that they would willingly allow you to wallow in this pit? Popular rumor was that the world of the Linkara was an amazing place filled with innovation and a species of thoughtful, wonderful beings that stood on top of it all.

Is this about Apartheid?
How old are these "popular rumors", anyways? With the current time exchange rate you couldn't even go back a decade in Earth's past without exceeding Sin's entire known history several times over.

"And yet all I behold is a landscape that has paved over things bright and lit and covered the remains in a thick layer of grime and filth. This place both disgusts me and entices me.” Varek sneered and walked away from the man back to the edge of the building."

Oh yeah? At least (most) Earthlings aren't covered in shit.

He seems pretty quick to judge, just because he ended up in the ghetto part of town.
Meanwhile, two blocks away, Linkara and Indow are probably having another Disney duet in their enchanting two-dimensional "forest".

Provided they're in the same town. The book keeps reminding us that Varek is in St. Paul, Minnesota, but all I know about Linkara is that he goes to "Hillside High School" according to the first book, and that doesn't appear to be a unique or even current name for any school in Minnesota.

“Sin leaks out from every crack and crevice like some dark, murky life giver that drips from the gutters of a small house. I hate to say it, but the Darkness would have thrived in a place like this."

I thought the Darkness wanted a glorious utopia of peace and prosperity, all for the low, low cost of no longer having emotions?
Then again he let you guys live in literal ruins for 300 years for no reason, so fuck if I know what he wanted.

I can feel every bit of the... I suppose ‘emptiness’ would be the appropriate word that comes from this place. The hopelessness of its people are tossed from the windows and I breathe it all in from the air.

Is St. Paul like the Detroit of Minnesota?

The Darkness would have built quite a following from this place. I embrace the Dark willingly because it has truth and meaning to it, but the darkness here is without soul. My God would have given purpose to it.” He continued.

Stop living in the past and become the Sauron to the Morgoth that is the Darkness already.

The mugger swallowed hard as his hands, bound behind his back, managed to slip into the back pocket of his jeans and slip out a box-cutter. He managed to extend the blade and turned it around, slowly working the sharp edge into the ropes that kept him tied up. He hoped he’d be able to escape while his armored assailant continued to ramble.

And here I was worried this guy only exists in this scene so Varek isn't talking to himself (because inner monologues are for losers).

Varek ran his hand through his short hair, sighing. “My hair is beginning to return to its original shade. Is that what this world does to you? Corrupt anything that is righteous and strip away the good in favor of the horrific past?”

I swear if you turn blonde I'm gonna lose it.

The mugger finally managed to slice through the ropes, freeing his hands. He was careful not to make any sound as he sat up, bringing the knife around to the front so he could cut loose the restraints on his legs.

Better hope he doesn't turn around.

Varek’s eyes narrowed as he reached down and gripped the hilt of his sword.

Do all people on Sin have enhanced senses, or only the ones with plot relevance?

“It’s no surprise that the Linkara comes from such a place as this. Evil is born from that which resembles it. The Elven warrior Shiva spoke that when she liberated her land, but I suppose you wouldn’t know of anything about that, since there are no Elves on this perverse world.” Varek grumbled.

And as we all know, all elves from every planet/dimension love peddling the same bits of zen wisdom.

(Also sounds a lot like a more tortured version of "Evil begets evil".)

As soon as his restraints were removed, the mugger stood up and began to slowly make his way towards the roof entrance.

Oh, you're fucked, mate.

Varek leaned forward and rested his head on his hand, thinking to himself for a moment as the mugger inched closer to the roof entrance.

I think the implication is that his elbow is resting on his knee, and his foot resting on the edge of the roof. Otherwise he'd do something like this:

After a few moments in that position, Varek stood and pulled his sword out from its scabbard. The black metal didn’t reflect any of the light of the moon as he raised it above his head.

“If you wish to live a little longer, I’d suggest you cease your attempt at escape.” Varek said, not even looking at the mugger.

"I'd hate to have to find another person to monologue to."

The mugger stopped instantly and remained still as Varek examined his blade, swinging it around several times as if he was attempting to ascertain his skill with it. He moved it around, practicing with it for several moments.

Linkara (the author) probably thinks this is cool, since Gyaru Casca loves swinging around her axes at the slightest provocation, but doing random katas for no reason seems like a lame flex IMO.

“You are an example of how this world is corrupted. Sin also has similar varieties of your ilk, and they will also be cleansed once I return to my home.” Varek stated.

You're talking pretty big for someone who spent the last couple months on the run from teenagers.
Does he like know that time passes faster on Earth, and he's just waiting for A'Trex and gang to die of old age?

And with that, Varek quickly turned about and launched his sword at the mugger. The mugger, too surprised by the sudden assault, didn’t move fast enough to evade the blade as it plunged into his chest. The sword continued moving, imbedding itself through the wall of the roof exit and impaling the mugger on it.

I guess he's done monologuing?

“They are also much faster than you. If that’s what this pitiful excuse for a world has to offer for its villains, I shudder to think of what it has for heroes.” Varek commented to himself.

Sin NPCs have a higher Challenge Rating. Who knew?
Though I wonder if he'll still be this smug once he runs into someone packing heat...

Varek turned away and walked to the other side of the roof exit, where the other mugger was also tied up.

LMAO. On to Round 2!

However, unlike his companion, he didn’t have any tools in his pockets to escape the ropes that held him. He did, however, have a large gash across his backside from when Varek had first appeared. The bleeding had stopped, but there was still enough pain from it to keep the mugger alert.

I don't think that's a wound that you can just walk off. He'll either die of blood loss, or due to an infection.

“I presume that from the fact that you never screamed my name in horror, that you are unfamiliar with me?” he inferred.

You're just looking for an excuse to make some grand villain speech

“Then I shall tell you and I will let you tell others and allow word to spread. Eventually, perhaps, this will even reach the Linkara."

"But I hope he will take a long time to hear about this, for I love talking to myself."

"I am the servant of Darkness, a proponent and warrior of its cause."

He's dead.

"This world will be engulfed in new, primal Darkness and cleansed of its enemies."

What enemies?

"I am the Destroyer, the great sword that shall pierce the soul of this world and make it bow before its true master."

Who is this "master"? You, or your dead boss?

"Tell them that and more, brute, for this is but a prophecy of things to come. The wolf has gone hunting for its prey.”

I know you and Myrrha mentioned them last book, but I'm just wondering if wolves are even a thing on Sin.

Also you kinda forgot to tell him your name. JFC, you suck at this.

And with that, Varek calmly cut the ropes on the mugger’s legs and walked away from his former captive, who was a little stunned to believe that he was still alive.

You think this guy will spread even half of your long, incoherent ramblings? The most you can hope for is that he'll talk about some batshit insane LARPer going full Mazes and Monsters.

(Also the mugger being stunned at being let go is a good indicator he didn't really listen, anyways.)

He later made his home for the night in an alley behind a warehouse.

It's not often you see a murderhobo be a literal murderhobo.
And what's stopping him from breaking into the warehouse? Etiquette?

He positioned himself between two garbage cans and a dumpster, kneeling against a brick wall while holding his sword between his legs.

Is that a sword, or are you just happy to see me?
And you're not really selling me on the whole main villain angle if you're sleeping next to trash.

Varek thought it likely that thieves roamed the streets of the city during the night to scrounge for whatever they could get in order to survive and he was not prepared to let his armor become their next prize. As such, he slept lightly, holding his sword at the ready for whatever might come to attack...

Can you block bullets?

*

“I’ve always been curious about the conflict between day and night.” Thesia stated.

“What about it in particular?” White Raven queried.

Even in ancient times, most cultures have figured out that the night is merely the absence of the sun, but sure, go on.

“Well, the night works so hard to hold onto the sky and plant its seeds of stars upon the world, but it always succumbs to the day when the sun rises again. The light of the stars is overtaken by that of the sun and then the whole process begins again when the sun sets."

How old are you again?

"And then, according to myth, there are two Queens that control it all, but they’re actually not in conflict, but companions who meet every once in awhile to shake hands and acknowledge that both are doing something right.” Thesia explained.

Why do you call it a conflict when you know it's not a conflict?
And are those "two Queens" the same ones Indow is considered a "servant" of for some reason?

“More legends suggest that the two Queens actually are the ones who control the two kinds of magic.” White Raven said.

Didn't we get that last book with these two "pillars", aka the two Stupid Surprise Magic Space Gods? They are supposedly behind the two kinds of magic, but they talked about the two queens as if they were different characters.
This shit just keeps getting more convoluted every time he tries to elaborate. Just drop that shit. It ain't adding shit to this story.

The two laid out in front of Louis’ home on the grass and gazed up at the night sky. Everyone else in the house had been more than happy to go to bed and try not to worry about anything else that might surprise them until tomorrow.

That strikes me as weird even for medieval fellas. If you absolutely have to stargaze, doesn't this house have a terrace? Or at the very least a fucking garden?

Thesia and White Raven however weren’t sleepy, so they decided to do what two people did when they had nothing else better to do:

Fuck like animals.

sit down and talk.

Eh, works too, I guess.

In this case, they had decided to get some fresh air and look at the stars.

How cold are Minnesotan nights? What fucking season is it, anyways?

Although Louis lived in a relatively small community, there was still enough light pollution to obscure a few stars... but not very many.

That should probably still freak them out, what with light pollution probably not even being a concept in their world.

“So, you’re the infamous Blood Raven, eh?” Thesia inquired

“Not anymore.” White Raven replied.

“But you’re the one people call the ‘Butcher of Vahn?’”

“Yes.”

Lithmenar leaned against the entrance door and ate a twinkie.

See? You can pull this shit anywhere.

“...I slaughtered the entire population of the Terlough capitol.”

(Also nice of her to casually drop this bomb after the fellowship has accepted her.)

“This is not turning out to be a very pleasant conversation.”

Jealous much?

Thesia turned over and laid on her side as she looked at White Raven. “I just want to know what I should be feeling about it. Now that I’ve looked at my life and realized that my path as a Conqueror wasn’t the correct one, I’m feeling grief... but I admit I’m not sure if it’s what I should be experiencing.”

"I, like, killed thousands of people, but I, like, just don't know how to feel about it, you know?"


(I think she's on the spectrum.)

“Grief would be an appropriate reaction.” White Raven replied.

“Is it what you felt after Vahn?” Thesia asked.

She enjoyed it so much she got kicked out of the Dark Club for being too emotional.

“Not at first. Redemption is not just something you decide to look for one day."

It kinda is? Redemption is a deliberate series of actions, so you kinda have to decide you're gonna do it.

"After I was exiled from the Dark Knights, my first thoughts were actually of suicide for what I had lost."

You really missed those shithole ruins, eh?

"That changed over time from a very wide range of emotions, including rage, fear, and even a little bliss."

Classic woman. Always going on and on about how suicidal they are, but never actually doing anything.

"Eventually, I sought atonement for the horrible actions I caused at Vahn, but even then, there was always a part of me that cared more for returning to the Darkness than about making amends for it.” White Raven answered.

"That all changed when the Linkara screamed at me."

“Because you were unsure of your destiny?”

Stop pushing your weird beliefs onto others, TERF.

“In a matter of speaking. I do not perceive of destiny in the religious manner you do. I believe that we are constantly shaping what is to come by our thoughts and actions, so we should always be careful about what we say or do. We can overcome previous things done by creating new consequences through willpower and activity, albeit with more positive results.”

So you don't "perceive of destiny" at all.

Thesia sat up. “In my case, I must abandon everything done before and begin life here. I hope that the boy will be a good teacher for living in this place.”

No wonder she becomes an evil Time Lord.
Also I think she's implying she doesn't give a fuck about redemption.

“I would allow him time to adjust to being back here before we pressure him into teaching us the ways of this world."

As if you could stop him from teaching you the art of the TV remote.

"Did you learn anything else when you were meditating on your choices earlier?” White Raven asked, sitting up beside her.

"I think I'm non-binary."

What an oddly-phrased question.

“Only that I am very hungry. Is there any more of that greasy dish still available?” Thesia queried.

“I believe that Louis’ family placed it in the cooling box. Come, we’ll feast for a bit longer and then go to dream of a brighter future.”

How much fucking pizza did Linkara order?

[wulfenlord]

we're looking at over 200 Sin years that may have past in the meantime

Just enough for the next booze to get ready

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Just enough for the next booze to get ready

I hope they've thrown some of that ale down a partially collapsed basement. That's how you get the best ripeness.

[wulfenlord]

VORP's descent into madness-counter:

# of

• Book 1: 8

• Book 2: 14

• Book 3: 26

• Book 4: 7 - can we have a hype train going in chat for another record?

So far the summary of this experience:
Bonus JonTron gifs: 24

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Could be worse.
Could be more screaming.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Book 4, Chapter 3 - Friends Old and New
(Or: Trevor Returns)



So with our heroes and villains doing... stuff, it's time for the Code Poet to make her stunning entrance!
I think.

And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

"Did you know that I slaughtered thousands of people?!"
"Well, that put a slight damper on the mood."


So we got Thesia's amazing backstory and... yeah.

She's am unhingend, mass-murdering psychopath with no sense of right and wrong. She has a massive chip on a shoulder due to Sin's apparently biggest social issue that we never actually see in practice: sexism.


Out to teach those vile men the error of their ways, she started a No Kingdom / War Crimes Only run of Mount & Blade - just to show that you don't need a dick to be a dick.
Except she's familiar with Blood Raven, who already did this over a hundred years ago.
And she might also be familiar with the assassins, who have at least been portrayed as being primarily female.

Naturally going against an entire kingdom when you still only have a warband did not go well, so she allied herself with the forces of evil to commit even more war crimes.
For example, she's responsible for the Total Dwarf Death enacted on an entire city that got mentioned last book. No idea why she did it, though.


Now being confronted with a medieval version of an African warlord doesn't seem to faze our heroes all that much. In fact they reacted much more strongly to her being a spellcaster without a loicense than to her admitting indirectly and directly to various war crimes.
It also doesn't help that the harshest punishment they'd chosen for her would've been "Let's deport her back to Sin and make her someone else's problem."
Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen!

Fortunately for her, she can convince them to join in on the freeloading by going "Man, I really have no idea what to do now. Let's wait a few days and see how I start feeling about things, okay?"

I dunno who's more retarded: Our heroes for keeping this ticking backstab around, Thesia for coming across like she's literally on the spectrum, or the author for this disgusting display of protagonist-centered moraltiy ("We don't think it's that big of a deal for her to be a bloodthirsty conquerer, so it's okay as long as she feels sorry about it eventually.")

Linkara's family is all but non-existent here. His brother does some mild riffing which literally no one reacts to, and then the family just walks out when it's time for the real characters to make tough decisions (aka decide if a war criminal should be allowed to stay in the house).
But don't you worry, guys. Linkara interpreted an expression of his father as him being proud of him, so he has an official carte blanche on his decisions!

Meanwhile, Varek the Guy Who Destroys Things has turned into a literal murderhobo, sleeping between trash cans when he's not kidnapping people so he has an audience for his little antics which Linkara (the author) probably considers "badass villain" behavior:

• Making grand "This world is imperfect" speeches. I dunno WTF wanting to take over the world has to do with his supposed quest of getting revenge on Linkara, but whatever.
• Randomly murdering a guy, giving you just enough gory details to get that this is supposed to be badass (and not just petty showboating).
• Randomly letting the other guy go so he can "spread the word" of Varek's glorious arrival. I'm sure he will follow this order to the letter

I might be a bit more concerned or impressed if I knew WTF this guy can do besides swinging a sword, getting his ass kicked, and being sad because his favorite blob is dead.
Realistically, he's fucked if he runs into a bloke with a gun, but I'm sure his artifically inflated power level will cause him to prevail.

Worldbuilding tidbits

• The world of Sin is called that way because a magic space dragon said so.
• There seems to be some theological differences as to which duo of poorly-defined magic space gods actually provide light and dark magic.
  • The current candidates are the "two queens" (apparently the sun and the moon, though never outright confirmed), or those two "pillars" from last book.
  • It better not be the latter because no one actually knows who of them provides which kind of magic, which is kinda important if you're calling for their help I think
• According to "popular rumor" (Linkara's ramblings?), Earth used to be an amazing utopia ruled by enlightened god-kings or something.

ChapterShow

“Okay, break another rock!”

Louis had not been quite ready to let the group start running out into the world until he had properly prepared them for it. Everyone was split into different small groups as the rest of Louis’ family aided in teaching the five about technology and sociology. Each group had split off and traded with the different teachers, encountering different levels of difficulty or ease depending on the teacher or the taught. Indow was trying to wrap her head around how both men and women could wear loose, often revealing clothes in public (and not be Sorcerers or Sorceresses). Lithmenar wanted to know everything he could about security technology (which no one was particularly eager to give to him). White Raven became intrigued by advanced weaponry, but not to use it; she was simply appalled by a great number of them. Jordahn spent much of her time watching the History Channel, learning about World War II in between UFO documentaries. Thesia examined philosophy books that were scattered about Louis’ home, trying to learn a new purpose for her existence.

Louis himself had decided to get reacquainted with the people he hadn’t seen for months. As such, he called his closest friends and biked down to a local park where he had explained his situation and showing them the abilities of the Linkaran armor. So far, while they were impressed with his newfound ability to fly, they seemed fairly impressed with his abilities to smash rocks with his armored hand.

Although Louis was familiar with pretty much everyone in his grade thanks to spending school with them for seven years, he had a close knit group of friends that he spent most of his time with out of mutual interest and the fact that they had all been so quirky in their own regards.

The one Louis had known the longest was Alice Bealow, nicknamed the Code Poet by the group. She was the most technology- minded individual of the group, always having a laptop in her hands and coding a program. Sometimes she was writing software for some simple little happy face to wink at a person while at other times she could be finding new ways to break encryption software. In fact, there had been a rumor going around Hillside High that she had actually managed to hack into the CIA’s mainframe. Whenever someone asked her about it, she merely smiled and leaned back, not answering. To accompany her nickname, she usually wore black or purple at all times accompanied by a beret on top of her long brown hair. She only differed from the look when the sun was too bright to wear dark colors, so she wore all white in those situations.

Theodore (Ted) Sage was Louis’ best male friend and was nicknamed Shades by the group. This was done for the fact that, due to an eye condition, he had to wear sunglasses most of the time during the day. In the group, he was the most unusual. His knowledge of philosophy was unchallenged by any at Hillside, but what really gained him his popularity among students was his propensity for offering people gum at the most inopportune times. This was part of his offbeat personality, since he would constantly be sending in submissions to the school newspaper ranting sometimes violently about any little subject and promoting Ayn Rand’s Objectivist philosophy but then be the calmest, most laid-back individual (sometimes to the point of apathy or laziness) when one was actually talking to him.

The other male of the group was Trevor Hagen. While they had trouble coming up with a nickname for him, Trevor still had his own quirk that made him unique within the five friends. He rarely was without a book in his hands and anytime he did have one in his possession, he read faster than any thought was humanly possible. He read Gone with the Wind in seventeen hours and comprehended every word of it with ease. The only time he ever had a problem with his speed-reading was when he hit a typo or a spelling error. When that happened, he was stuck at the single problem point, unable to move on until someone either turned the page or pointed him at the next word.

The final member of the five was Mandy Chanette. Like Trevor, the group had a hard time coming up with a nickname for her, so she just went by her first name. However, her own unique skills were in the knitting needles she was constantly working. She had become something of an entrepreneur at Hillside, knitting scarves, shirts, and other various outfits for a nominal fee. She always acted sweet and cheerful around others and in private, believing that anger, resentment, and other negative emotions needed to be bottled up and saved for when they were actually needed. Once, she happened upon a student who was in the process of stealing a laptop from the technology department. Not only did she manage to knock the boy twice her petite size onto his back, she kept him there for ten minutes so she could lecture him about morality and theft. The rumor had been that even after security finally found them and began bringing the boy to the Principal’s office, she was still ranting at him from across the hall, shouting so he could hear her.

Indow, having grown tired of reading and watching TV about Earth, decided to accompany Louis to get a better understanding of it. She also came to bring an air of credibility to Louis’ story (as if the transforming armor he wore wasn’t enough).

“I’ve broken like three rocks now; do you really need to see it again?” Louis grumbled as he crossed his armor-clad arms.

“It’s cool!” Alice laughed, her eyes almost sparkling as she admired the golden armor covering parts of Louis’ form.

The group had assembled at a park bench beneath a tall tree, the springtime sun beating down a little too much on their skin for their tastes. As much as they appreciated the spring sun after a Minnesota winter, even they had their limits for it. Even Alice had broken out her white outfit to combat the sun’s rays, albeit Ted had decided to spend his time sitting in the tree.

“This is so typical. We both get sent down to the Principle’s office one day, but it’s you who gets to become the superhero and save the world. All I get is another worksheet’s worth of homework because I ended up late to class.” Trevor said from behind his book.

Louis rolled his eyes. “If I recall correctly, it was you who insisted on running to class to get there on time because you wanted to finish reading that stupid book of short stories. What was it called again? Tonto and the Lone Ranger Boxing Match?”

“Fistfight in Heaven, not Boxing Match. And look, I feel bad enough as it is about having to read that tripe. I just wanted it over and done with.” Trevor replied as he flipped the page of Sense and Sensibility.

“Ugh, you had to read that thing, too? It was like a book version of a Coleman Francis film – murky, depressing, and confusing as all heck...” Ted groaned.

“Don’t forget racist. It’s always nice when you have to read something that constantly talks about how white people are evil, racist bastards who spend all their time harassing Indians.” Louis stated as his second gauntlet flowed back into the first one.

“Native Americans.” Mandy corrected.

“Mandy, they call themselves Indians in the book.” Ted said as he leaned down from his position in the tree.

“Doesn’t make it right.” Mandy said softly.

Indow giggled softly to herself and looked at the assembled group. “It’s amazing how I don’t have the slightest idea what you’re talking about. It’s exhilarating!”

“Now you know how I felt back on Sin.” Louis said to Indow, embracing her.

“In any case, Louis, you’re a real superhero now. Congrats!” Alice spoke.

“Hey, let’s not jump ahead of ourselves here. I have no intention of fighting anyone while I’m here. This is essentially my vacation from the hero gig.” Louis said.

Ted rolled his eyes. “Nonsense! The forces of good must forever be combating evil, no matter what shape they take. What you’re doing now is becoming reacquainted with your allies in the fight and resting for the next battle. Gum?”

Ted tossed down some Bubble-Yum to Indow, who caught it in her lap. Indow looked quizzically at the candy and slowly unwrapped it.

“Frankly, the very name of the place just seems preachy. I mean, who names a planet ‘Sin?’ It’s basically saying that the place is filled with evil, sinful creatures... it’s like something out of a Christian fantasy story. I can see it now – the evil beings existed in a constant state of hedonistic evil...” Mandy began.

“...but the light of Jesus showed them the error of their ways!” Alice finished.

“Don’t forget Satan’s role, he fought back with a wave of succubae and demonic creatures the likes of which the world had never seen!” Ted continued.

“Jesus challenged Satan to a final showdown...” Trevor began as he turned a page in the book.

“...And Jesus delivered a final right hook to the horned one, thus making the world safe again for good, clean, wholesome fun!” Louis finished.

The group all shared a good laugh, except for Indow, who summarily swallowed her gum.

*

White Raven quickly ran past Lithmenar and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. The former prince blinked and walked over to the bathroom door, knocking on it as he heard the sound of coughing and wheezing.

“Raven? You all right?” he asked.

“By the pit...” she whispered to herself.

Lithmenar walked away from the bathroom and over to the living room, where Jordahn sat on the couch. She was breathing slowly, her face pale as she stared at the television set. Lithmenar looked to the screen, wondering what was causing the unusual behavior off the group. The television had been set up with a TiVo, so the image on the screen was paused so that the two didn’t have to watch any further than what it was at that moment. On the screen was the image of an atom bomb explosion.

“What’s that?” Lithmenar asked, pointing at the screen.

“The end result of Louis’ ‘great’ world. They call it a nuclear weapon... an explosive capable of death and destruction on a scale I doubted possible even for magicks... The kind of weapon that my people have always been terrified of...” Jordahn responded.

John walked in, blinking in confusion. “What’s wrong with White Raven? She’s throwing up in the bathroom.”

“We have beheld your death bringer.” Jordahn said, pointing at the mushroom cloud on the screen.

“Ah. I suspect you haven’t got anything like that on Sin, do you?” John asked.

“I conceive that there are probably people on my world who are capable of such insanity, but to actually go through with it...” Jordahn spoke.

“Insanity? Pardon me, miss, but nukes aren’t insanity. They’re a deterrent.” John replied.

“Ooh, this looks like fun.” Lithmenar laughed, sitting down on the couch.

“If they’re such a deterrent, how come you used them during your World War?!” Jordahn asked, almost yelling at him.

“They were a deterrent when we used them during the war and after it. If we had invaded Japan, millions more would’ve died on both sides. And don’t assume they would’ve surrendered after an initial conflict or some such crap. They were utterly devoted to winning no matter the cost to their own country. And once the war was over, once humanity realized the sheer power of the weapon, the two remaining superpowers, the Soviet Union and the United States, never used them against one another. Oh sure, there was threat posturing, arms races, but the fear of mutual annihilation kept both sides from ever firing a nuke at each other.” John explained.

“You stood on the brink of total destruction thanks to these devices!” Jordahn stated.

“I sincerely doubt that. The closest it ever came was the Cuban Missile Crisis and even then, it was settled peacefully. People who claimed that we were constantly on the verge of Armageddon thanks to the nuclear weapons themselves don’t understand a damned thing about the world. They assume that it’s crazy, trigger-happy morons that have heir finger on the button that are going to be responsible for bringing the world to its knees, that if the right people were in charge, everyone would live in a hippie commune without war or starvation. The truth is that the right people are in charge of the world, but the right people doesn’t equal the best world. The weapons themselves are not going to bring about the apocalypse.” John stated.

And with that, Louis’ father calmly walked away, leaving Jordahn grumbling as she sat back down on the couch.

“I see where Louis got his... tenacity.” She grumbled.

“And his speechifying. Although he’s right, you know.” Lithmenar commented smugly. “I’ve been studying the history books. Wars have actually gotten smaller since the invention of this device, more contained.”

“Oh, be silent, toad.”

*

From the Journal of General T’kata Varek, Date Unknown –

It amazes me sometimes how much I learn from the Black Oracle each time I read it over again. When I first read it, it was as if I memorized every tiny bit of information contained within its glorious pages and retained the knowledge so that I could quote it from memory. However, upon my numerous readings after the initial time, there was always something new that I had not realized was there before. It is entirely possible that the Darkness may indeed have contained some hidden message about its resurrection within the pages of its book, but to comprehend how it works, you have to read it over and over again. It also spoke of a time for a false prophet, not like the Linkara or itself, that shall appear after Seven Circles are activated.

My hunt for the Linkara has been stalled a little as I explore the world that he comes from. I have set up a temporary base of operations out of a disused storage facility within the southern area of the city. There were residents there at the time, a group of marauders who wore very light leather armoring and possessed the weapons that appear to be the most prevalent here, a form of crossbow that shoots a very small cylinder of lead at incredibly fast speeds at the target. Despite temptations otherwise, I have decided not to use the weapons for my own benefit. The Darkness believed in magicks as the best weapon to fight the Linkaran order and I must believe in his holy way if I am to be successful in defeating my enemy.

I continue to be shocked by the world that I have entered. When I exterminated the marauders, the amount of noise in the area must’ve been loud enough for people to hear it half a mile away. After I finished with them, I awaited the presence of other knights or vagabond individuals, either to investigate the noise or to come to the aide of a perceived victim. No one ever came, though. The next day, I broke into a newspaper dispensary and examined the document within. With the magicks of the Black Oracle at my disposal, translation was relatively painless. The people of this world value celebrity status above the critical areas of their world, devoting entire sections of a lengthy publication to gossip and the personal lives of those who work in theatrics. Further, the land that I am in appears to be caught up in a war across the ocean, but most of the stories appear to be critical of it, rarely speaking of successes and focusing in on numerous deaths and defeats.

Their emphasis on trivialities simply confirms my early suspicions on this place. There is nothing grand or mystifying about this world. When I return to Sin, I shall-

...I have suddenly realized something. I have been so focused on my holy quest that I forgot about returning to Sin once my task was completed. While I can think of no magicks that would do the task, I am confident in the words of the Darkness to bring me home.

Speaking of which, I have begun utilizing many of the magicks that the Black Oracle has instructed me upon. While I have shied away from some of the more devastating spells in order to keep my presence hidden, I have gained access to many abilities only partially theorized by mainstream magicks, including the ability to shift myself partially into a magic sub-dimension. If I was to immerse myself fully, I would be lost to both worlds and most likely unable to return. However, in this manner, I am invisible to the people here and can move about freely without fear of the Linkara or his companions from spotting me.

My hair has continued its change back to its natural blue hue. I must say I find it... disconcerting when I look at myself in the mirror and see the bright blue on my head. At first, I am shocked by the stranger staring back at me. This phenomenon is very bizarre, to say the least and it makes me more curious at the Darkness and its origins. The Darkness rarely spoke of where exactly it came from, usually only referring to it being from “very far away.” And in all honesty, it shouldn’t matter, but at times like these, when I have problems keeping myself connected with my fallen God, learning more about the Great Darkness and what made it what it was helps give me strength.

I fear that the change in my hair may be but one symptom of a far greater problem. When the Darkness was killed by the Linkara, I felt it instantly, shattering me to my core and, for a short time, sending me into an almost catatonic state. Back when I was operating in Kien, exterminating the vermin of the sand-coated plains, the Darkness was always there with me, giving voice to me and helping me sustain my bravery even when confronted with the most skilled of warriors. I never felt the melting light of the sun in the sky, for the Darkness cast its great shadow over me and gave me strength.

When the Darkness was dying, it cried out to me, to all his servants and children. The Linkaran church always spread propaganda about us, saying we were emotionless killers, determined to conquer one and all for no reason but to conquer one and all. They clustered in their temples and prayed to their false idol for deliverance, blinding themselves in light instead of embracing the truth in shadow and darkness. In some ways, I pity them. They believed that in the death of the Darkness, they could embrace their savior and light, that it would provide warmth and salvation forever more. But the truth is that their savior is just a boy and the light they embrace will burn them when they try to hold it. As time goes on and they melt and decay under their light, they will slowly come to realize their mistake, and in terror they will flee back to the Darkness for his help. And I will be the one they will look to, for I am the last wolf, the last servant of the Darkness, and despite my pity for them, I shall turn away from them.

“No mercy for the wicked, no pity for the weak, and no sympathy for the unremarkable, for they shall use your charities as chains to drag you down with them as they descend into the Pit.” Said the Darkness in his Black Oracle.

And, as such, I shall have no pity for them, either. Not for them
or their most wicked – the Linkara.

The Darkness’ will be done.

RiffingShow

“Okay, break another rock!”

Louis had not been quite ready to let the group start running out into the world until he had properly prepared them for it.

I take it your endless ramblings about Glorious Terra weren't so helpful after all?

Everyone was split into different small groups as the rest of Louis’ family aided in teaching the five about technology and sociology. Each group had split off and traded with the different teachers, encountering different levels of difficulty or ease depending on the teacher or the taught.

That's sounds somewhat convoluted. Also they're like five people. Can't you keep them in a single group so you don't have to repeat shit all the time?

Indow was trying to wrap her head around how both men and women could wear loose, often revealing clothes in public (and not be Sorcerers or Sorceresses).

I'm trying to wrap my head around WTF this is supposed to mean. Are you implying Indow has been looking like a Dancer from Fire Emblem this whole time?

Lithmenar wanted to know everything he could about security technology (which no one was particularly eager to give to him).

How much could the Williamsons teach him about locks, anyways?

White Raven became intrigued by advanced weaponry, but not to use it; she was simply appalled by a great number of them.

Jordahn spent much of her time watching the History Channel, learning about World War II in between UFO documentaries.

She can also enjoy both with the endless autism that is the Reichsflugscheibe!

(Also why isn't she the one obsessed with weapons?)

Thesia examined philosophy books that were scattered about Louis’ home, trying to learn a new purpose for her existence.

Seriously WTF is this hoe's deal? Is she like an android that has just gained sentience or something? And how many bloody books on philosophy does this household have?

Louis himself had decided to get reacquainted with the people he hadn’t seen for months. As such, he called his closest friends and biked down to a local park where he had explained his situation and showing them the abilities of the Linkaran armor.

I'm sure showing everyone your awesome powers unprompted won't get you unwanted attention in the near future.

So far, while they were impressed with his newfound ability to fly, they seemed fairly impressed with his abilities to smash rocks with his armored hand.

Oh, so that's what the opening line was refering to. Smooth chapter structure there.
Also who cares about stupid strongman tricks? The fucker can fly.

Although Louis was familiar with pretty much everyone in his grade thanks to spending school with them for seven years, he had a close knit group of friends that he spent most of his time with out of mutual interest and the fact that they had all been so quirky in their own regards.

Thanks for explaining to me how different layers of social groups form.

The one Louis had known the longest was Alice Bealow, nicknamed the Code Poet by the group.

Mom-insert detected.

She was the most technology- minded individual of the group, always having a laptop in her hands and coding a program.

Considering this is 2007, the laptop also doubles as an effective self-defense weapon against the roaming hordes of muggers.

Sometimes she was writing software for some simple little happy face to wink at a person while at other times she could be finding new ways to break encryption software.

Other times, she photoshops a teacher's face onto a BDSM photo.
Oh wait, that was GTO.

And how many 1337 hackers are 14?

In fact, there had been a rumor going around Hillside High that she had actually managed to hack into the CIA’s mainframe.

I'd say the fact that she didn't mysteriously disappear one day tells a different story.

Whenever someone asked her about it, she merely smiled and leaned back, not answering.

That's a fairly expected reaction to a cool rumor she probably started herself.

To accompany her nickname, she usually wore black or purple at all times accompanied by a beret on top of her long brown hair. She only differed from the look when the sun was too bright to wear dark colors, so she wore all white in those situations.

I can get the beret, but what the fuck does color have to do with being a (code) poet?

Theodore (Ted) Sage was Louis’ best male friend and was nicknamed Shades by the group. This was done for the fact that, due to an eye condition, he had to wear sunglasses most of the time during the day.

Does he have albinism or something?
Also this is a bit like calling your blind friend "Sticks", or your paraplegic one "Wheeler".

In the group, he was the most unusual. His knowledge of philosophy was unchallenged by any at Hillside...

Of course he's unchallenged. No one at the age of 14 gives a shit about bloody philosophy.
Also all he's probably doing is quote some random philosopher to appear smart.

... but what really gained him his popularity among students was his propensity for offering people gum at the most inopportune times.

He was a real riot during the aftermath of the last school shooting.

This was part of his offbeat personality, since he would constantly be sending in submissions to the school newspaper ranting sometimes violently about any little subject and promoting Ayn Rand’s Objectivist philosophy but then be the calmest, most laid-back individual (sometimes to the point of apathy or laziness) when one was actually talking to him.

The other male of the group was Trevor Hagen.

Fuck yeah, it's Trevor again. He's from the very first chapter when he and Linkara were punished by the insidious Hallway Nazi.

While they had trouble coming up with a nickname for him, Trevor still had his own quirk that made him unique within the five friends.

And that "quirk" doesn't lend itself to a nickname I suppose?

What were Linkara's nickname and quirk? Did they call him "Gendo" or "Asuka" because he wouldn't shut up about how much Shinji sucks? Or can he ignore the entry requirements of this exclusive club because he's the leader and everyone else is just a pet he has collected for this exotic menagerie?

He rarely was without a book in his hands and anytime he did have one in his possession, he read faster than any thought was humanly possible.

And you guys didn't think of calling him "Flash", "Speedster" or "Bookworm" because...?

He read Gone with the Wind in seventeen hours and comprehended every word of it with ease.

GwtW has a word count of 418,053 words. That's about 6.831 words per second. Not quite the upper limit of human speed reading (which is 8 I think), but I'll still press X to fucking doubt.

The only time he ever had a problem with his speed-reading was when he hit a typo or a spelling error. When that happened, he was stuck at the single problem point, unable to move on until someone either turned the page or pointed him at the next word.

trevor.exe has stopped working

(Does that mean he can't read alone and needs a handler to check up on him at least once per hour?)

The final member of the five was Mandy Chanette. Like Trevor, the group had a hard time coming up with a nickname for her, so she just went by her first name.

So only two of them have an actual nickname. I don't think they are quite the intellectual powerhouses that they think they are if they're struggling this hard to come up with this shit.

However, her own unique skills were in the knitting needles she was constantly working.

Needles. Muffler. Granny. Socks.
See? It's not that hard, Team Mensa.

She had become something of an entrepreneur at Hillside, knitting scarves, shirts, and other various outfits for a nominal fee.

That's totally a thing I can see high schoolers do.

She always acted sweet and cheerful around others and in private, believing that anger, resentment, and other negative emotions needed to be bottled up and saved for when they were actually needed.

This doesn't have any ominous undertones at all.

Once, she happened upon a student who was in the process of stealing a laptop from the technology department. Not only did she manage to knock the boy twice her petite size onto his back, she kept him there for ten minutes so she could lecture him about morality and theft.

Mandy was a girlboss before girlbosses became cool.

The rumor had been that even after security finally found them and began bringing the boy to the Principal’s office, she was still ranting at him from across the hall, shouting so he could hear her.

(2:33 for the relevant bit.)

How is this a rumor? I feel like a good chunk of the school should've noticed this kerfuffle.

Indow, having grown tired of reading and watching TV about Earth, decided to accompany Louis to get a better understanding of it.

I thought the fellowship wasn't "ready" yet to venture outside?

She also came to bring an air of credibility to Louis’ story (as if the transforming armor he wore wasn’t enough).

I see she has a lot of confidence in her sweetheart.

“I’ve broken like three rocks now; do you really need to see it again?” Louis grumbled as he crossed his armor-clad arms.

“It’s cool!” Alice laughed, her eyes almost sparkling as she admired the golden armor covering parts of Louis’ form.

Nobody is forcing you to do anything? When did you ever have a problem with saying "no"?

The group had assembled at a park bench beneath a tall tree, the springtime sun beating down a little too much on their skin for their tastes. As much as they appreciated the spring sun after a Minnesota winter, even they had their limits for it. Even Alice had broken out her white outfit to combat the sun’s rays, albeit Ted had decided to spend his time sitting in the tree.

Ah yes, the infamous scorching rays of the Minnesotan spring sun. Few things have claimed more lives.

“This is so typical. We both get sent down to the Principle’s office one day, but it’s you who gets to become the superhero and save the world. All I get is another worksheet’s worth of homework because I ended up late to class.” Trevor said from behind his book.

It's funny 'cause it's not typical.
As far as we know, at least.

Louis rolled his eyes. “If I recall correctly, it was you who insisted on running to class to get there on time because you wanted to finish reading that stupid book of short stories. What was it called again? Tonto and the Lone Ranger Boxing Match?”

“Fistfight in Heaven, not Boxing Match. And look, I feel bad enough as it is about having to read that tripe."

Hey now, that sounds way more interesting than this shit.

"I just wanted it over and done with.” Trevor replied as he flipped the page of Sense and Sensibility.

No you're fucking not reading a fucking romance novel from the early 19th century. I refuse to accept it.

“Ugh, you had to read that thing, too? It was like a book version of a Coleman Francis film – murky, depressing, and confusing as all heck...” Ted groaned.

I take it Linkara (the author) didn't like this collection of surreal short stories centered around Native Americans?
And sure, a bunch of 14-year-olds are totally experts in the field of 1960s cinema

“Don’t forget racist. It’s always nice when you have to read something that constantly talks about how white people are evil, racist bastards who spend all their time harassing Indians.” Louis stated as his second gauntlet flowed back into the first one.

(What are the odds of this book not actually being as "racist" as advertized here, I wonder...)

“Native Americans.” Mandy corrected.

“Mandy, they call themselves Indians in the book.” Ted said as he leaned down from his position in the tree.

“Doesn’t make it right.” Mandy said softly.

The author is (a real) Native American. He can call himself and his people however he damn well pleases, you fucking Karen.
Also weren't you supposed to be "always sweet and cheerful"?

Indow giggled softly to herself and looked at the assembled group. “It’s amazing how I don’t have the slightest idea what you’re talking about. It’s exhilarating!”

“Now you know how I felt back on Sin.” Louis said to Indow, embracing her.

No, that's how she felt on Sin, because you constantly made lame jokes that no one in that world could even begin to understand.

And shouldn't his friends' attention be less on some book they had to read in school, and more on the catgirl elf from another world who can cast real spells? So far none of them have even acknowledged her existence.

“In any case, Louis, you’re a real superhero now. Congrats!” Alice spoke.

“Hey, let’s not jump ahead of ourselves here. I have no intention of fighting anyone while I’m here. This is essentially my vacation from the hero gig.” Louis said.

I see he's just as eager to stop a rapist as the Lightbringer himself. Fuck making his hometown a safer place I guess.

And what's his plan for when he returns to Sin? Bitch and moan about the food while he's checking on the almighty prophecies every now and then to see if they feel like letting themselves get translated?
It certainly can't be about the red herring demon invasion because you guys refuse to acknowledge that shit.

Ted rolled his eyes. “Nonsense! The forces of good must forever be combating evil, no matter what shape they take. What you’re doing now is becoming reacquainted with your allies in the fight and resting for the next battle."

What is there to "reacquaint"? He's been hanging out with them for almost a year. They've spent like three months on a boat doing nothing.

"Gum?”

Ted tossed down some Bubble-Yum to Indow, who caught it in her lap. Indow looked quizzically at the candy and slowly unwrapped it.

He did it! He did his thing!

“Frankly, the very name of the place just seems preachy. I mean, who names a planet ‘Sin?’ It’s basically saying that the place is filled with evil, sinful creatures..."

Who names a planet 'Earth'? It's basically saying that the place is filled with dirt.

"... it’s like something out of a Christian fantasy story. I can see it now – the evil beings existed in a constant state of hedonistic evil...” Mandy began.

“Don’t forget Satan’s role, he fought back with a wave of succubae and demonic creatures the likes of which the world had never seen!” Ted continued.

“Jesus challenged Satan to a final showdown...” Trevor began as he turned a page in the book.

“...And Jesus delivered a final right hook to the horned one, thus making the world safe again for good, clean, wholesome fun!” Louis finished.

The group all shared a good laugh...

... except for Indow, who summarily swallowed her gum.

I am glad for your vital contribution to this transdimensional meeting of the minds.

*

White Raven quickly ran past Lithmenar and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. The former prince blinked and walked over to the bathroom door, knocking on it as he heard the sound of coughing and wheezing.

“Raven? You all right?” he asked.

“By the pit...” she whispered to herself.

A bit early for Raven to watch 2 Girls, 1 Cup, isn't it?

Lithmenar walked away from the bathroom and over to the living room, where Jordahn sat on the couch. She was breathing slowly, her face pale as she stared at the television set.

Yeah, it was a bad idea to watch this on a state-of-the-art home cinema setup.

Lithmenar looked to the screen, wondering what was causing the unusual behavior off the group.

You're gonna love it.

The television had been set up with a TiVo, so the image on the screen was paused so that the two didn’t have to watch any further than what it was at that moment.

You know you can just turn off the TV, right? But then he wouldn't be able to investigate, I guess.

On the screen was the image of an atom bomb explosion.

Really? We're doing this now?

“What’s that?” Lithmenar asked, pointing at the screen.

“The end result of Louis’ ‘great’ world. They call it a nuclear weapon... an explosive capable of death and destruction on a scale I doubted possible even for magicks... The kind of weapon that my people have always been terrified of...” Jordahn responded.

Oh, come on. As if you sand psychos wouldn't relish the thought of dropping one of those bad boys on your enemies.

John walked in, blinking in confusion. “What’s wrong with White Raven? She’s throwing up in the bathroom.”

Really? This bitch waded through the blood and entrails of her innocent victims, and you're telling me some sterile nuclear weapons test is too much for her to handle?

“We have beheld your death bringer.” Jordahn said, pointing at the mushroom cloud on the screen.

“Ah. I suspect you haven’t got anything like that on Sin, do you?” John asked.

“I conceive that there are probably people on my world who are capable of such insanity, but to actually go through with it...” Jordahn spoke.

I'm sure there's a random drawer somewhere containing a Forbidden Spell that does something far, far worse.

“Insanity? Pardon me, miss, but nukes aren’t insanity. They’re a deterrent.” John replied.

The Great Linkara's father condones nuclear weapons.

“Ooh, this looks like fun.” Lithmenar laughed, sitting down on the couch.

He's his father's son alright.

“If they’re such a deterrent, how come you used them during your World War?!” Jordahn asked, almost yelling at him.

This goes on for almost an entire page, btw.

“They were a deterrent when we used them during the war and after it. If we had invaded Japan, millions more would’ve died on both sides. And don’t assume they would’ve surrendered after an initial conflict or some such crap. They were utterly devoted to winning no matter the cost to their own country. And once the war was over, once humanity realized the sheer power of the weapon, the two remaining superpowers, the Soviet Union and the United States, never used them against one another. Oh sure, there was threat posturing, arms races, but the fear of mutual annihilation kept both sides from ever firing a nuke at each other.” John explained.

Thanks, Daddy History Channel.

“You stood on the brink of total destruction thanks to these devices!” Jordahn stated.

“I sincerely doubt that. The closest it ever came was the Cuban Missile Crisis and even then, it was settled peacefully. People who claimed that we were constantly on the verge of Armageddon thanks to the nuclear weapons themselves don’t understand a damned thing about the world. They assume that it’s crazy, trigger-happy morons that have heir finger on the button that are going to be responsible for bringing the world to its knees, that if the right people were in charge, everyone would live in a hippie commune without war or starvation. The truth is that the right people are in charge of the world, but the right people doesn’t equal the best world. The weapons themselves are not going to bring about the apocalypse.” John stated.

"Nukes don't kill people. People kill people (with nukes). So stop being such a Doomer pussy!"

And with that, Louis’ father calmly walked away, leaving Jordahn grumbling as she sat back down on the couch.

That's one way to win an argument, I guess.

“I see where Louis got his... tenacity.” She grumbled.

“And his speechifying. Although he’s right, you know.” Lithmenar commented smugly. “I’ve been studying the history books. Wars have actually gotten smaller since the invention of this device, more contained.”

I guess that's technically true because there has yet to be a WW3, but instead we now have an ever-growing number of regional conflicts that never end.

“Oh, be silent, toad.”

Yeah, I think you should go back to using untranslated Sinnian insults.

*

From the Journal of General T’kata Varek, Date Unknown –

What fresh hell is this?
Did he like steal an empty diary and a pen? Or is he squatting in an internet cafe to fucking blog?

It amazes me sometimes how much I learn from the Black Oracle each time I read it over again. When I first read it, it was as if I memorized every tiny bit of information contained within its glorious pages and retained the knowledge so that I could quote it from memory. However, upon my numerous readings after the initial time, there was always something new that I had not realized was there before.

That's... good for you, I guess.

It is entirely possible that the Darkness may indeed have contained some hidden message about its resurrection within the pages of its book, but to comprehend how it works, you have to read it over and over again.

That's sounds like a very dumb backup keikaku.

It also spoke of a time for a false prophet, not like the Linkara or itself, that shall appear after Seven Circles are activated.

The only time "seven circles" have been mentioned before was in that one Non-Linkaran prophecy in Book 3.
That's right, everyone. Infallible prophecies are back on the menu!

My hunt for the Linkara has been stalled a little as I explore the world that he comes from.

"A little"? You have no fucking clue where to even start looking.

I have set up a temporary base of operations out of a disused storage facility within the southern area of the city.

I guess you did end up feeling a bit stupid sleeping in trash right next to a warehouse.

There were residents there at the time, a group of marauders who wore very light leather armoring and possessed the weapons that appear to be the most prevalent here, a form of crossbow that shoots a very small cylinder of lead at incredibly fast speeds at the target.

Hey, look. Guns are only a minor obstacle for him. Who would've guessed?

Despite temptations otherwise, I have decided not to use the weapons for my own benefit. The Darkness believed in magicks as the best weapon to fight the Linkaran order and I must believe in his holy way if I am to be successful in defeating my enemy.

Tell me, how did that "holy way" work out for him?

I continue to be shocked by the world that I have entered. When I exterminated the marauders, the amount of noise in the area must’ve been loud enough for people to hear it half a mile away. After I finished with them, I awaited the presence of other knights or vagabond individuals, either to investigate the noise or to come to the aide of a perceived victim. No one ever came, though.

The next day, I broke into a newspaper dispensary and examined the document within. With the magicks of the Black Oracle at my disposal, translation was relatively painless.

You better not turn into an armchair politician.

The people of this world value celebrity status above the critical areas of their world, devoting entire sections of a lengthy publication to gossip and the personal lives of those who work in theatrics.

Doesn't Sin also have inane newspapers? And how come you don't know which date it is? It's printed right on the first page.

Further, the land that I am in appears to be caught up in a war across the ocean, but most of the stories appear to be critical of it, rarely speaking of successes and focusing in on numerous deaths and defeats.

The Great Linkara demands a more patriotic news coverage of the War on Terror.

Their emphasis on trivialities simply confirms my early suspicions on this place. There is nothing grand or mystifying about this world. When I return to Sin, I shall-

...I have suddenly realized something. I have been so focused on my holy quest that I forgot about returning to Sin once my task was completed. While I can think of no magicks that would do the task, I am confident in the words of the Darkness to bring me home.

I feel that's definitely a problem best reserved for Future You.
If you ever get that far with your "holy quest", which I doubt.

Speaking of which, I have begun utilizing many of the magicks that the Black Oracle has instructed me upon. While I have shied away from some of the more devastating spells in order to keep my presence hidden, I have gained access to many abilities only partially theorized by mainstream magicks, including the ability to shift myself partially into a magic sub-dimension. If I was to immerse myself fully, I would be lost to both worlds and most likely unable to return. However, in this manner, I am invisible to the people here and can move about freely without fear of the Linkara or his companions from spotting me.

"Only partially theorized by mainstream magicks"? Isn't this just how the bog-standard invisibility spell allegedly works?

My hair has continued its change back to its natural blue hue.

I must say I find it... disconcerting when I look at myself in the mirror and see the bright blue on my head. At first, I am shocked by the stranger staring back at me. This phenomenon is very bizarre, to say the least and it makes me more curious at the Darkness and its origins. The Darkness rarely spoke of where exactly it came from, usually only referring to it being from “very far away.” And in all honesty, it shouldn’t matter, but at times like these, when I have problems keeping myself connected with my fallen God, learning more about the Great Darkness and what made it what it was helps give me strength.

"My hair dye's gone, so I wonder where God came from..."

I fear that the change in my hair may be but one symptom of a far greater problem. When the Darkness was killed by the Linkara, I felt it instantly, shattering me to my core and, for a short time, sending me into an almost catatonic state. Back when I was operating in Kien, exterminating the vermin of the sand-coated plains, the Darkness was always there with me, giving voice to me and helping me sustain my bravery even when confronted with the most skilled of warriors. I never felt the melting light of the sun in the sky, for the Darkness cast its great shadow over me and gave me strength.

Just check out J-Pop. Miku-chan will never let you down UwU

When the Darkness was dying, it cried out to me, to all his servants and children. The Linkaran church always spread propaganda about us, saying we were emotionless killers, determined to conquer one and all for no reason but to conquer one and all.

They kinda did have a point, didn't they?

They clustered in their temples and prayed to their false idol for deliverance, blinding themselves in light instead of embracing the truth in shadow and darkness.

For a false idol, he sure kicked some real ass.

In some ways, I pity them. They believed that in the death of the Darkness, they could embrace their savior and light, that it would provide warmth and salvation forever more. But the truth is that their savior is just a boy and the light they embrace will burn them when they try to hold it.

Oh, I think he has already told them to go fuck themselves at least twice.

As time goes on and they melt and decay under their light, they will slowly come to realize their mistake, and in terror they will flee back to the Darkness for his help. And I will be the one they will look to, for I am the last wolf, the last servant of the Darkness, and despite my pity for them, I shall turn away from them.

"Man, living in peace and prosperity sure sucks. I wish we'd go back to getting conquered by those Dark Knights again. Those were fun times."

“No mercy for the wicked, no pity for the weak, and no sympathy for the unremarkable, for they shall use your charities as chains to drag you down with them as they descend into the Pit.” Said the Darkness in his Black Oracle.

And you wonder why people don't like your kind.

And, as such, I shall have no pity for them, either. Not for them
or their most wicked – the Linkara.

The Darkness’ will be done.

Those are some I assume "badass" villain lines - but you still haven't shown me that you can back this shit up.

Next Time: "That's What Girls Do". If that doesn't sound like hilarious hijinks with Indow and the Code Poet, I don't know what does.