The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Book 1, Chapter 9 - King's Test II
(Or: White Men Can Jump)

We're entering part 2 of what I assume to be some kind of mid-book climax. Linkara has finally confronted the king of Ai, who is suspected of being a traitor because the criminally lax border patrols in the south are letting in too many illegal immigrants Dark Knights.
Instead of explaining/justifying himself, the king promises to finally believe in the prophecy if Linkara can best his aggressively French champion (who technically has a name but is just called "the Champion" by the narration, signifying that he's not important and will get his ass handed to him).
This is convenient for Linkara for two reasons: he's too much of an asshole to actually convince anyone with words and arguments, and the champion happens to be the Designated Bad Guy for this two-parter because he dared to question his authority (mostly because he's like the only other relevant character in this entire court aside from the king himself).

Other things of note that happened:

To Summarize Is HumanShow

• The Linkaran faith continues to become more retarded each time it is fleshed out more. Every piece of the prophecy was written in a different language, some of which have been forgotten and can no longer be translated.
• The thief Lithmenar has joined Linkara's party. His primary purpose appears to applaud Linkara for his sociopathic behavior.
  How convenient that the only member in his fellowship so far who has not been indoctrinated to shower him with unqestioned loyalty happens to be his heterosexual soulmate. Heaven forbid anyone ever call the Linkara out for anything.
• Even if we only get a single paragraph from Indow's point of view, she will let you know that she's still a nasty bislut
• Apparently the kingdom of Ai - or at least its capital - is French-coded. At least it's Linkara's closest reference point, and I doubt the 14-year-old US boy has seen all that many European historical districts.
• Linkara continues to be amazed at certain buildings being more "advanced" than he'd assume from the time period the world of Sin is supposed to resemble.
  Note that we have yet to hear what time period this is supposed to be, and the shit he's amazed about has already been figured out in the Iron Age at the latest.
  Also I don't trust the architectural expertise of a 14-year-old who thinks that metallurgy has something to do with making stone buildings fancier.
• Linkara the author has once again channeled his inner Ernest Cline with yet another Lord of the Rings comparison. I guess that elf in that random portrait looked like Hugo Weaving.
• The people of Sin are unfamiliar with "fucking" and its many colorful uses, but do know what a "two-by-four" is.
• Linkara the character is a violent psychopath who uses threats of murder to get what he wants, scares people for fun, and ruthlessly antagonizes anyone who dares question him.

Now onto the current chapter:

The Perils of WritingShow

"My lord, are you quite sure about this?" Indow asked, taking Louis' flannel shirt from him to allow for easier combat.

"Quite. I take out two assholes in one day." Louis replied.

"But the King's Champion is said to be the greatest swordsman in Ünaré!" Indow exclaimed.

"Well, fortunately, we are in Ai." Louis grinned.

And with that, the crowd around the two was made into a circle, surrounding Louis and the Champion. Louis cracked his knuckles and stretched as the Champion merely stood ready, his hand on his sword. The King then stood up and looked at both of the fighters.

Then he extended his arms outwards and shouted, "Begin!"

The battle began slowly, the two fighters encircling one another as they looked for weak spots in which to claim their victory. Louis did notice one thing that he knew might be a severe problem in the battle: the Champion's armor. It extended down halfway to his legs in metal plates, like a Roman legion's outfit, but this armor basically had a crotch guard. Louis' old trick he used against the Dark Knights wouldn't work on the Champion.

However, Louis had recently come to realize that the affects [sic] of wearing the gauntlet were beginning to come in. He felt more agile, more lithe, and more alive then ever before. He felt as though he could jump up and hold onto the ceiling (which happened to be more than ten feet above him). It seemed that the Champion was going to make the first move, because he quickly unsheathed his sword and charged at Louis. Louis smiled and saw where he was going to strike, and quickly placed his gauntlet in the way of the sword. The shining blade struck down upon his gauntlet, which immediately discharged an electrical surge from it that traveled through the sword and down to the base, where it stopped until the Champion pulled his sword back.

Louis smiled and mentally commanded the gauntlet's blade to come out, which it did. The Champion came in once more, but this time, Louis blocked with the blade instead of the gauntlet itself. Louis realized the Champion was pushing with all of his might, but despite that, the gauntlet seemed to surge new energy and strength through his body, giving him just enough to fight off the Champion's advances. Louis had forced the Champion back once more, who narrowed his eyes at Louis and moved his sword in a complete circle using only one hand. He came at Louis once more, roaring and Louis winced as the Champion began waving his sword in some sort of psychotic, wild fashion.

And Louis, just after wincing, leapt into the air, retracting the gauntlet, and spun three times in midair, landing on the opposite side of the Champion. When he landed, it was more of a crash than a land. He had never done anything like that before, so the experience had been overwhelming in the middle of it. The Champion shifted around, looking at Louis in awe.

Meanwhile, in the back of the crowd, Danlor and Lithmenar watched the battle intensely.

"Incredible! I've never seen such feats of acrobatics! The Linkara truly is our savior!" Danlor exclaimed silently.

"Maybe, but I'm not converting back to the Linkara from Jelitism just because the kid can do some fancy moves." Lithmenar stated.

Danlor rolled his eyes. "Honestly, how can one remain faithless like you with all of the things happening all around us?"

"With a little faith in ourselves instead of blind hope in things that don't exist. Speaking of members of your backwards religion, where's Indow?" Lithmenar asked.

Danlor turned away from him and responded, "She went in search of Dark Knights just after they started fighting. She believes that if the King really is in league with them, some Dark Knights would most likely be in the Castle, acting as ambassadors between the Darkness and the King."

"She might just be right. But what do we do about the King if Louis and Indow are right about him?"

"I'm afraid we'll probably have to kill him. When one is converted to the Darkness, there is no turning back. If he truly is in league with the Darkness, we'll have to depose him before he does any more damage."

"Won't the guards try to stop us?"

"The guards have pledged their life to protect Ai, not the King. If the King is acting against the best interests of Ai, they'll bring the King down."

"Then what?"

"Well, by the traditional rules of succession, in a situation like this, the religious leader of the city is declared King until the next Council of Ministers is decided. When the next Council is decided, either the King's heir takes the throne, or it's the current Military leader if the King has no heirs."

"So, in essence, if we killed the King, you'd become King for another kiro?"

"Precisely."

*

Indow moved stealthily through the bright hallways, easily avoiding any people that passed by. Any time she thought she heard someone or something coming her direction, she would cast an invisibility spell around herself until the person passed. Luckily, the King hadn't believed that sorcerers and sorceresses were necessary for his protection, so there weren't any within the castle that could detect her when she shrouded. The only problem was that any time she left the spell, she was nearly exhausted. Invisibility spells were some of the most grueling ones to perform, even for experienced sorcerers and sorceresses.

She also hugged the wall, hoping that she could at least hide at most moments from someone glancing down the hallway. She was moving deeper and deeper down the castle's levels, evident by the increasing number of small insects and dankness. She sighed and tore part of her robes off of so she wouldn't trail behind dust and other dirty items in her otherwise clean white outfit. And although she was increasingly irritated by the amount of dirt, dust, and tattered garbage, what she was mainly focusing on was the lack of people. As she moved farther and farther down the castle, she evaded less and less people.

"The time to act is now! The Linkara's arrival has forced us to accelerate our plans, so is the will of the Great Darkness."

Indow stopped immediately. A normal human would never have heard it from within the room she had just passed, but she wasn't entirely human. Her mother had been an Anako, and with that she had some of her mother's abilities. One of these abilities just happened to be enhanced hearing that went along with her slightly Elfish ears. She put her ear up against the door of the room, and heard the clanking of metal slapping against metal from some type of armor. She reached into her pocket, pulling out a small vial of water and placed it against the door. Immediately, as if black paint were seeping through it, the water turned a black hue.

Indow smiled, realizing she had found the Dark Knights. All of a sudden, however, a hand wrapped around her head and covered her mouth.

*

Louis winced as he blocked off another strike from the Champion's sword. Although the abilities of the armor were giving him increased stamina and strength, he was still human. He was getting easily tired and couldn't pull off his energetic leaps and jumps as he had done before. And now, the Champion was taking advantage of that, striking and forcing his sword down at Louis as many times as he could as he also blocked Louis' own advances with his shield.

"Surrender, boy! You cannot stop one such as I!" the Champion shouted.

Louis growled as he continued pushing against the sword that was slowly gaining more ground against him.

And all of a sudden, a new strength began coursing through Louis' veins. He
looked down at his gauntlet, which was glowing a bright gold. He felt an odd cold feeling come from the arm where the gauntlet was pass through his chest and go into the other arm. His hand started glowing as well as beams of light shot out from the underside of his wrist and wrapped around the arm. The lights then solidified, forming a new gauntlet exactly like the one on his right arm. A blade slid out of the top of the gauntlet, and Louis grinned widely.

"OH HELL YEAH!" Louis proclaimed.

And with a cheer of happiness, Louis brought the second blade to his rescue, pushing against the sword with renewed vigor and strength. The Champion was dumbfounded by this turn of events, and was caught completely off-guard as Louis' blades pushed the sword back. Louis then did a flip into the air right over the Champion, landing right behind him. In one quick motion, Louis slammed the flat side of the new blade against the Champion's head, sending his head against a nearby stone pillar and knocking him unconscious. Louis smiled as he looked down at the limp body. He then looked up at the King, who raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Believe me now?" Lous asked.

*

"Silence! I shall not harm you. Please stop struggling."

The voice had come from the being that now held Indow in his strong arms. Indow stopped struggling when she looked down to see the crest of a noble house patched onto the glove that covered her mouth. She recognized the pattern on the crest as the House of Kuyo, a very proud and honorable family that usually brought its children into the service of personal guards of the King. She nodded and the knight pulled her aside. The knight kept his hand on her mouth, then put his other finger in front of his mouth, indicating to her that she needed to stay silent. She nodded, and he took his hand off of her mouth.

Indow examined the sight before her: about a dozen knights that served as personal guards to the King. The knight that had had his hand over her mouth now unsheathed his sword, and the other knights followed suit. Indow suddenly turned her attention to the room she had been listening in on earlier, and she heard the Dark Knights within starting to ask one another if they had heard something.

And then, with a mighty roar, the dozen knights charged the door, breaking it off of its hinges. As soon as they were all within, Indow looked inside to see a very quick but valiant battle between the Dark Knights and the castle knights. Within thirty seconds, all of the Dark Knights were on the ground, unconscious or dead. Indow just stared at the three bodies, not sure what to make of the situation.

"What's going on here?!" she demanded to know.

The knight that had grabbed her before stepped up. "I know this seems odd, but because of the arrival of the Linkara, we had to step up our original plans. Here, allow me to explain..."

*

"'Honorable Combat?' What's that?" Lithmenar inquired.

"As the King, he has the right to invoke his own mastery of a sword against another. It's only been done once or twice in Ai's history, but when it has happened, it was a spectacular duel to behold." Danlor explained.

The two turned their attentions back to the beginning fight, which began with Louis trying to charge at the King, who responded by blocking both gauntlets with his sword. The strange thing was that Louis had retracted his blades and was fighting the King with just the gauntlets. Lithmenar, although he was watching the fight, wasn't really paying attention to it. He was thinking about everything that had happened ever since they had arrived in Ai. And then, he turned to look at Danlor, and he raised an eyebrow in surprise as he saw a single bead of sweat roll down his head.

Danlor clenched his teeth and looked over at Lithmenar. "What's he doing?! He can easily defeat the King! Why is he not using his Angelic weapons?!"

"Because he's thinking about the same things I am." Lithmenar stated. "Why didn't the King just have the boy killed the moment he arrived? He's skilled, but he'd never last against a full platoon of Royal guards. I'll tell you why: Honor and Tradition. It's by the King's Honor that these challenges and Honorable fights exist, but here's the strange thing: the Darkness doesn't care about honor or tradition. They care about conquest. So if the King was in league with the Darkness, why does he oblige to the honors and traditions of the past? And here's something a little more interesting: when we met, you said you had been expecting us, but Louis and Indow told me that for security purposes, they hadn't informed the church that they were coming. Tell me, Danlor, when was the last time you had a life-giver test?"

Danlor's eyes narrowed at Lithmenar.

*

Louis winced and pushed his gauntlets back against the sword. The only thing that he wasn't thinking about was Danlor, but yet he was still wondering why someone with so much power and was associated with the Dark Knights would take the risk that he could lose against the Linkara. But then, everything became clear moments later.

The first thing that happened that got Louis' attention was Indow running in along with one of the King's knights. She immediately pulled Louis away from the King.

"My lord, stop! The King's not in league with the Darkness!" she exclaimed.

"Then who's-"

But before he could finish his sentence, Lithmenar was thrown across the room and crashed into the throne. Everyone stared at him as he groaned in pain. That was the second thing.

And then Lithmenar shouted, "It's Danlor! Danlor's the traitor!"

All eyes shifted over to Danlor. He was standing and growling in anger with a deep scowl. Indow gasped and took a step back in surprise. One of the people who had already been there before Louis and the others had arrived grabbed a jug of water that was sitting on a nearby table and flung the liquid at Danlor. Danlor growled as the cold water splashed onto him and dripped down in black splotches.

"It's true!" someone cried out. "The Priest works for the Darkness!"

There was heavy shouting and roaring in the crowd, mostly angry ones. Danlor shifted his gaze over to Louis, who was smiling and already unsheathing his blades. Danlor's eyes narrowed as he glared at Louis.

"YOU! It was you! You broke my cover! You filthy Grishna!" Danlor exclaimed

And then Danlor charged at Louis in blind rage.

Louis announced, "Quick decision!" and proceeded to step to the side just as Danlor had reached him, and extended his leg out so that Danlor tripped on it when he got to Louis' previous position. The King snapped his fingers and pointed at Danlor, and a collection of knights picked Danlor up and dragged him (kicking and screaming, of course) away from the throne room. Louis turned back to Indow and the King while Lithmenar groaned and got off of the throne.

"How did you know about Danlor?" Louis asked.

"When I went looking for the Dark Knights and found them, a platoon of his majesty's finest guards stormed the room and arrested them. According to this knight, the King has been secretly negotiating with the Darkness, but not to take over the rest of Sin, but to destroy them from within." Indow explained.

Louis raised an eyebrow and looked over at the King, who chuckled. "I may not believe in the Linkaran religion, but I'm not stupid. The Dark Knights are the biggest threat this land has encountered since the Terafell Arbiters a thousand kiros ago."

Louis smiled and snapped his fingers in revelation. "And so you struck a deal with the Dark Knights! You'd open the doors and let them inside your borders, but then you'd- "

"-let my own army finish them off from within our own borders." the King finished.

"Unfortunately, the Dark Knights suspected foul play from the beginning. After they found out you had arrived from Rain's letter, they hatched a plan to get you here and kill the King." Indow said.

"But what would killing the King accomplish?" Louis asked.

"By rules of succession, Danlor would've become the new King." Lithmenar replied.

"And if the boy had indeed killed me, and Danlor would've become King, that means he would've let the Darkness in and devastate this wonderful land." the King stated.

"But luckily they underestimated the Linkara!" Indow said, smiling widely at Louis.

Louis narrowed his eyes and walked over to a nearby window, looking out at it with a cold glare. The others looked at him inquisitively.

"My lord, is everything all right?" Indow asked.

"The Dark Knights killed Rain, an innocent priestess, and countless others. They've walked where they weren't wanted, murdered thousands, and slaughtered probably tens of thousands more than that. They tried to manipulate me into killing yet another innocent person! No more running into blind alleys trying to uncover the true machinations. No more cloak and dagger games. It's time to stop being so defensive and go on the offensive!" Louis stated.

"What are you saying?" Lithmenar asked.

"I'm saying," Louis said, turning to them. "that I'm going to go to the Darkness itself and kill the fucker!"

Riffing Makes the Heart Go YonderShow

I hate this protagonist so goddamn much. Also the author's attempt at mystery requires too much withholding information (that may or may not be a retcon).

"My lord, are you quite sure about this?" Indow asked, taking Louis' flannel shirt from him to allow for easier combat.

It's a flannel shirt. Roll up the sleeves if they hinder you too much.

"Quite. I take out two assholes in one day." Louis replied.

Not quite as badass considering Dark Knights come in groups of at least three, and you would've gotten your ass killed when you fought two at the same time if Indow hadn't intervened.

"But the King's Champion is said to be the greatest swordsman in Ünaré!" Indow exclaimed.

"Well, fortunately, we are in Ai." Louis grinned.

Also not quite as badass considering you have only started fighting for about a month, and usually with kicks.
You really have to be a smug asshole no matter what, don't you?

Louis did notice one thing that he knew might be a severe problem in the battle: the Champion's armor.

Shouldn't you have noticed this earlier? It's not like the champion has left the hall to put on a new set of armor. He still has this "leather/steel hybrid" thing, whatever the fuck that's supposed to be

It extended down halfway to his legs in metal plates, like a Roman legion's outfit, but this armor basically had a crotch guard. Louis' old trick he used against the Dark Knights wouldn't work on the Champion.

• Roman legionaries wore tunics, you nimrod.
• Why do you compare it with a Roman getup only to go "but this has a crotch guard"? Does it have a crotch guard (in which case how can you see it), or do the metal plates effectively act as one?
• So you'd basically be screwed if the knights wore chain mails instead (which generally cover the upper legs as well)?
• LMAO get fucked

However, Louis had recently come to realize that the affects [sic] of wearing the gauntlet were beginning to come in.

Man, if I didn't know any better I'd say this is a retcon.

It seemed that the Champion was going to make the first move, because he quickly unsheathed his sword and charged at Louis.

Yeah, that sure seems like a first move. Better wait and see, though.

Louis smiled and saw where he was going to strike, and quickly placed his gauntlet in the way of the sword. The shining blade struck down upon his gauntlet, which immediately discharged an electrical surge from it that traveled through the sword and down to the base, where it stopped until the Champion pulled his sword back.

Why is this happening? What is the significance? It's not freaking out anyone, so what is the point?

And Louis, just after wincing, leapt into the air, retracting the gauntlet, and spun three times in midair, landing on the opposite side of the Champion. When he landed, it was more of a crash than a land. He had never done anything like that before, so the experience had been overwhelming in the middle of it. The Champion shifted around, looking at Louis in awe.

Is this really more impressive than the lightning parry? Also if you keep doing that you will just end up getting impaled on that guy's sword.

"Incredible! I've never seen such feats of acrobatics! The Linkara truly is our savior!" Danlor exclaimed silently.

Dude could take a shit, and you would find a way to sing his praises.

"Maybe, but I'm not converting back to the Linkara from Jelitism just because the kid can do some fancy moves." Lithmenar stated.

Danlor rolled his eyes. "Honestly, how can one remain faithless like you with all of the things happening all around us?"

So Jelitism = Atheism. Okay, but why? Too cool for the vegetarian blood cult?

"With a little faith in ourselves instead of blind hope in things that don't exist. Speaking of members of your backwards religion, where's Indow?" Lithmenar asked.

Probably getting fucked.

Danlor turned away from him and responded, "She went in search of Dark Knights just after they started fighting. She believes that if the King really is in league with them, some Dark Knights would most likely be in the Castle, acting as ambassadors between the Darkness and the King."

Let me quote the first part of the prophecy (aka the one Indow was raised with):

Servants who work in secret shall smile and laugh and act like all those around them, and they shall be clothed like citizens of Sin.

Why would Dark Knights hang out in the castle if the Darkness has inconspicuous spies specifically for this type of shit?

"I'm afraid we'll probably have to kill him. When one is converted to the Darkness, there is no turning back. If he truly is in league with the Darkness, we'll have to depose him before he does any more damage."

Man, they really need a Gandalf.
Also can't you just check his bath water to see whether or not he's evil?

"The guards have pledged their life to protect Ai, not the King. If the King is acting against the best interests of Ai, they'll bring the King down."

Good thing this medieval fantasy kingdom believes in ethical military coups.
I'd say in reality, a good chunk - if not all - of the guards would stay loyal to their actual employer, but what do I know bout the rich culture of Ai?

"Well, by the traditional rules of succession, in a situation like this, the religious leader of the city is declared King until the next Council of Ministers is decided. When the next Council is decided, either the King's heir takes the throne, or it's the current Military leader if the King has no heirs."

Why go through a priest regent first if the actual heir is crystal clear? This is just asking for Ai to be turned into a theocracy. Especially if the king is an infidel.

"So, in essence, if we killed the King, you'd become King for another kiro?"

"Precisely."

How convenient. So you're the "religious leader"? If the Linkaran faith is the state religion and so integral to the country that it takes over the government during the interregnum period, why is the king himself not beholden to the Linkaran teachings? Where does his mandate of heaven come from?

*

Indow moved stealthily through the bright hallways...

Oh, fuck me. Another Indow section. Please try and keep your panties dry this time.

... easily avoiding any people that passed by

Why are you acting so suspiciously?

Luckily, the King hadn't believed that sorcerers and sorceresses were necessary for his protection, so there weren't any within the castle that could detect her when she shrouded.

That king is just asking to get shanked by a magic assassin.

Invisibility spells were some of the most grueling ones to perform, even for experienced sorcerers and sorceresses.

Which is why you spam this shit like a mofo, ensuring that you will be too exhausted in case you actually do run into Dark Knights. And all so the garçon de pisse doesn't notice you.

She sighed and tore part of her robes off of so she wouldn't trail behind dust and other dirty items in her otherwise clean white outfit. And although she was increasingly irritated by the amount of dirt, dust, and tattered garbage, what she was mainly focusing on was the lack of people. As she moved farther and farther down the castle, she evaded less and less people.

Turns out there aren't a lot of people walking around when the ground is covered in dust.

Her mother had been an Anako, and with that she had some of her mother's abilities. One of these abilities just happened to be enhanced hearing that went along with her slightly Elfish ears.

So not even pure-blooded catgirls have actual cat ears? Fuck this noise.

She reached into her pocket, pulling out a small vial of water and placed it against the door. Immediately, as if black paint were seeping through it, the water turned a black hue.

Back in the First Church the test involved getting doused in water. Now you just have to hold a vial in the rough vicinity of the test subject?
How come you can't do that with the king to unravel this mystery of whether or not he is evil? And if the Linkaran faith is the state religion, why aren't vials of water built into the throne?

Indow smiled, realizing she had found the Dark Knights. All of a sudden, however, a hand wrapped around her head and covered her mouth.

If this is anything like the other Indow sections, it must be Rape O'Clock in the castle.

*

Although the abilities of the armor were giving him increased stamina and strength, he was still human. He was getting easily tired and couldn't pull off his energetic leaps and jumps as he had done before.

I hope those needless feats of gymnastics were totally worth it.

And now, the Champion was taking advantage of that, striking and forcing his sword down at Louis as many times as he could as he also blocked Louis' own advances with his shield.

I thought the Power Glove can cut through shields? Or does this only work in the surprise round?

"Surrender, boy! You cannot stop one such as I!" the Champion shouted.

Nobody talks like that.

"I shall not yield! You might kill me, but I shall not surrender!" Louis roared.

Oh, so you stop talking like a jackass if you're getting your ass handed to you, eh?
Also is this bloody duel to the death or not?

Luckily for him, Athena decides to award his rare display of acting in-character by giving him another piece of the Linkara Cloth.

The lights then solidified, forming a new gauntlet exactly like the one on his right arm. A blade slid out of the top of the gauntlet, and Louis grinned widely.

Nice, now he'll have to be attacked by three knights for certain death.

*

Indow stopped struggling when she looked down to see the crest of a noble house patched onto the glove that covered her mouth. She recognized the pattern on the crest as the House of Kuyo

Will we ever get descriptions of the crests that keep popping up? There's a lot of cool shit in European heraldry to copy-paste.

Indow examined the sight before her: about a dozen knights that served as personal guards to the King. The knight that had had his hand over her mouth now unsheathed his sword, and the other knights followed suit.

So the guards were already going to purge the unclean, and Indow's little adventure was pretty much pointless (aside from a cliffhanger that promised rape - or at least torture - and delivered nothing).

*

"As the King, he has the right to invoke his own mastery of a sword against another. It's only been done once or twice in Ai's history, but when it has happened, it was a spectacular duel to behold." Danlor explained.

So the king goes back on his promise by starting another duel, this time with him instead of a champion? Okay?

The strange thing was that Louis had retracted his blades and was fighting the King with just the gauntlets.

But why?

Why didn't the King just have the boy killed the moment he arrived? He's skilled, but he'd never last against a full platoon of Royal guards. I'll tell you why: Honor and Tradition.

So Linkara is holding back (even though he is perfectly capable of ending a fight non-lethally with his blades) because it is dawning on him that the king is too honorable to be evil.

"My king, a crazed madmen wants to see you and threatens to behead you if you don't 'move your fat ass'. Should we kill him?!"
"No, this would not be honorable!"

Checks out.
Also wouldn't have been a mystery at all if water just didn't exist whenever it's about the king.

And here's something a little more interesting: when we met, you said you had been expecting us, but Louis and Indow told me that for security purposes, they hadn't informed the church that they were coming. Tell me, Danlor, when was the last time you had a life-giver test?

So Danlor is the evil traitor. Makes sense I guess considering he gets to sit on the throne if the king dies for some fucking reason.
But why didn't they kill the king sooner?
And why was it never brought up before that Danlor knew a bit too much?
And if the Darkness can corrupt a Linkaran head priest, why can't they do the same with a non-believer like the king?
If I didn't know any better, I'd suspect more retcons.

But before he could finish his sentence, Lithmenar was thrown across the room and crashed into the throne. Everyone stared at him as he groaned in pain. That was the second thing.

And then Lithmenar shouted, "It's Danlor! Danlor's the traitor!"

Try snapping his neck with your super-strength next time, Danlor.

All eyes shifted over to Danlor. He was standing and growling in anger with a deep scowl. Indow gasped and took a step back in surprise. One of the people who had already been there before Louis and the others had arrived grabbed a jug of water that was sitting on a nearby table and flung the liquid at Danlor. Danlor growled as the cold water splashed onto him and dripped down in black splotches.

I wonder how long he kept his evil ways hidden considering how quickly he goes into "HULK SMASH!" mode here.

"YOU! It was you! You broke my cover! You filthy Grishna!" Danlor exclaimed

And then Danlor charged at Louis in blind rage.

• Using the G-word is just rude
• Why are you angry at the Linkara? It's the thief who blew your cover, and he only managed to put 2 and 2 together because you fucked up

Louis announced, "Quick decision!" and proceeded to step to the side just as Danlor had reached him, and extended his leg out so that Danlor tripped on it when he got to Louis' previous position.

"Slapstick! My one weakness!"

"According to this knight, the King has been secretly negotiating with the Darkness, but not to take over the rest of Sin, but to destroy them from within."

"I was only pretending to betray my people!"

Shouldn't the Darkness figure this out? It would probably know if you've successfully joined the dark side even without the water trick.

Louis raised an eyebrow and looked over at the King, who chuckled. "I may not believe in the Linkaran religion, but I'm not stupid. The Dark Knights are the biggest threat this land has encountered since the Terafell Arbiters a thousand kiros ago."

"I was only pretending to be stupid!"

Louis smiled and snapped his fingers in revelation. "And so you struck a deal with the Dark Knights! You'd open the doors and let them inside your borders, but then you'd- "

"-let my own army finish them off from within our own borders." the King finished.

So he led 100-200 Dark Knights (that he knows of, at least) into his kingdom to freely slaughter Linkarans (which might actually be how Rain ended up getting killed), all so he could enact some kind of Red Wedding?
He does know the Darkness' actual army probably numbers in the tousands, right? This plan is fucking stupid.

"Unfortunately, the Dark Knights suspected foul play from the beginning. After they found out you had arrived from Rain's letter, they hatched a plan to get you here and kill the King." Indow said.

Turns out the Darkness was not completely retarded, and decided to abuse Ai's nonsensical rules of succession. Guess this was a battle of the minds to determine who was less retarded.

"And if the boy had indeed killed me, and Danlor would've become King, that means he would've let the Darkness in and devastate this wonderful land." the King stated.

Wait, what happened to the guards' ethical military coup gimmick? Does this not work on priest regents?
Also why was the Darkness so sure that Linkara would end up killing the king? Where they expecting the king declaring this rare honorable fight for no reason? I'm still not sure if that one is even to the death or not.

"But luckily they underestimated the Linkara!" Indow said, smiling widely at Louis.

All he fucking did was not dying to the Champion. All the detective work and Dark Knight busting was someone else's work.

It's time to stop being so defensive and go on the offensive!" Louis stated.

"What are you saying?" Lithmenar asked.

"I'm saying," Louis said, turning to them. "that I'm going to go to the Darkness itself and kill the fucker!"

While it's nice that you're abandoning the stupid fetch quest and go right for the final boss, I'm pretty sure you kinda need the entire prophecy to know WTF you're supposed to do to win this.

Next Time: Linkara getting himself killed, hopefully.

[Kugelfisch]

Okay, a few things.
Can those characters fucking stop "whincing"? Everyone constantly has to whince at everything and it's getting really old.

I called the high priest being evil right away, thanks to the prophecy mentioning smiling and Linky going out of his way mentioning said smile at character introduction.
Same as with the temple guards, although that calls into question why the water didn't turn black, despite now mere proximity to water seems to be enough.

Nobody outside of modern times America knows what the fuck a "two-by-four" is. Two and four what? By four as in made by four?
These niggers have a retarded word for "year", they sure as shit don't know what an inch is, that "two-by-four" means "2 inces wide, four inces tall" or that it refers to a wooden beam.
They don't use those in construction for their drywall houses in the middle-fucking-ages!

What's the point of the cat girl Mischling being concerned over her purity when she apparently already has spent considerable time getting blown out before prostituting herself twice to pay for the cure to GRIDs?

The prophecy and the entire church is utterly retarded.
"Some bad shit is going to happen and some hero will show up" isn't appealing enough to form a religion around.
Imagine the Bible was just the book of Revelations, only a sixth of it, no copies exist and the rest of it is relics in long dead languages nobody can decipher anymore.
That shit doesn't go anywhere!

But seeing as the invasion of evil is actually going on and somehow the Linkaran church is the main religion, so much so that the Pope gets to be king by default if he croaks during his reign, how do you remain a non-believer?
Oh sure, this army of evil possessed guys looking like late stage Sith is invading us, tells us they serve the Darkness of the prophecy and there's these orcs - that presumably didn't exist before - roaming around. Meh, I guess it's nothing.

Fundies flip out over barcodes as the sign of Satan! You mean to tell me that in a medieval setting with actual fucking magic the forces of evil come along with basically inverted crosses and pentagrams etched in their armor in terms of subtlety, who practically call themselves "666th Blaspemy Assault Squad of Baphomet" and bring along what are essentially daemons just have the king be all atheist about it?
These fuckers turn water black! Not holy water, not some purity potion, regular fucking water! They couldn't hold a mug of ale or tea without it turning black!

Even at 14 this is embarrassing writing!

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

And we haven't even started with the Ernest Cline shit from later books.

Okay, a few things.
Can those characters fucking stop "whincing"? Everyone constantly has to whince at everything and it's getting really old.

It's a "great" way to pad out a book little by little, so I expect more to come.

I called the high priest being evil right away, thanks to the prophecy mentioning smiling and Linky going out of his way mentioning said smile at character introduction.
Same as with the temple guards, although that calls into question why the water didn't turn black, despite now mere proximity to water seems to be enough.

Nah, those temple guards where actual good guys. The narration had to specifically point out that they're just doing "casual smirks", instead of overdoing it like some tryhard spy.

Nobody outside of modern times America knows what the fuck a "two-by-four" is. Two and four what? By four as in made by four?
These niggers have a retarded word for "year", they sure as shit don't know what an inch is, that "two-by-four" means "2 inces wide, four inces tall" or that it refers to a wooden beam.

This is just more proof that the thief is Linkara's biggest dickrider (despite being atheist). He's not allowed to question the dumb shit that comes out of LInkara's mouth because his job is to find that shit kewl.

[Kugelfisch]

The kicker is likely that Lewis first thought of saying "baseball bat" but considered that the magical world likely doesn't have that sport.
He should've just said "club" or "stick".


Besides, why even make up other words for shit like "year" when that's just what it is? Clearly the length of a year are the same, seeing as "the Linkara" is 14 years old and the fantasy world equivalent also talks of 14 years old.
Wouldn't that word just translate to "year" for him? I mean, they aren't speaking English. He just somehow understands them and they him via plot magic (which is fine). Basically a Babelfish. Okay. Cool.

Them not quite understanding figures of speech or even current curse words is also fine, as those have changed IRL over the years as well.
But basic shit both them and us have the same word equivalent for should just translate and have no "foreign" word in the text.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Oh, he doesn't just stop at "foreign" words. Don't forget about "water" being "the life giver".

[Kugelfisch]

That's exactly what I'm talking about! If your magic translation works for everything else, it should also work for "year" and "water", whatever fucking word they use!
Only names or terms for stuff that doesn't even exist as a concept in the real world should remain untranslated.

Like if he were to talk about a computer or they about some creature we don't even have in fables.

He's handwaving so much of the isekai shit, why not in this very specific case?
Incidentally, if "linkara" translates to something like "assfister" or "lightbringer" that's exactly what he should hear as well.


In other words, a full translation wouldn't have you hear "This is my nakama." but "This is my friend.".

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

The Linkara is "He who gives life to his bed every night".

[wulfenlord]

He is The Great Crotchkicker.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Book 1, Chapter 10 - Journey of the Destined
(Or: The Caravan of Dunces)

So last time saw the thrilling conclusion of a sloppy traitor whodunnit arc, where the king of Ai and the Darkness effectively entered a fake alliance with the goal do double-cross each other. Let's compare and contrast:

All According to KeikakuShow

The King: Let 150-ish or more Dark Knights into the kingdom, where they are apparently free to terrorize the population, indulge in purges against the Linkarans and do God knows what else. All so the royal guards could enact some kind of Red Wedding / Order 66 backstab maneuver that likely only put a dent into the army of darkness (after the months it will likely take to hunt down every Dark Knight squad).
And despite still being hung up over Rain's death, Linkara thinks that the king's plan was some brilliant 4D chess move even though Rain is one of the casualties of this plan.
It wouldn't surprise me if the king being a good guy all along wasn't a thing when he wrote the early chapters.

The Darkness: Get the king killed so the leader of the Second Church will take over as a regent, who just so happened to be a spy / corrupted.
Now this might sound much simpler and straightforward, but the Darkness for some reason banked on Linkara doing the killing.
Even though he didn't really have any reason to kill him even if he was evil.
And the situation the king found himself (some kind of honorable duel with Linkara) is an incredibly rare event even by the actual traitor's admission. Plus I don't think this duel was an actual duel to the death? Whe never got any actual rules for the duel, but if it's anything like the duel with the Champion (which also has no specified rules) you can just surrender or win by KO.

tl;rd: Everyone is an idiot.

With a bit of reflecting, I also couldn't help but notice that the setting's main quirk (water as an objective alignment scanner) has been deliberately used inconsistently to make this mystery plot work.

Hang on a second...Show

Water could've been used to actually find the traitor(s), but so far it has only ever be used to confirm that an obviously good/evil character is, in fact, good/evil.

And remember how even being in the same room as the prophecy piece in the First Church required an elaborate security ritual where you have to essentially do a water bucket challenge to prove your goodness?
In chapter 9, Danlor is clearly hanging out with Linkara while he's reading the scroll, so the security measurements in the Second Church either don't exist, or are a lot more lax. The narration just skips past all of this because elaborating on the Second Church's security would just raise suspicion.
But apparently our protagonists didn't care, and it was never brought up as evidence that something's off with Danlor. It's like the author forgot about this.

Linkara also got two upgrades. Not only does he know have a second Power Gloves, but even before that his first Power Glove has started giving him your typical Captain America peak human / mild superhuman physique package.
And apparently he needed that boost in his first fight with a regular human. I guess either his Power Level drops hard if he can't groin-kick, or orcs and Dark Knights are worse duelists than a 14-year-old with no actual combat training.

And now Linkara has decided to ditch the stupid prophecy fetch quest and go straight for the main villain. I'm sure nothing will go wrong.

Content Warning: Wincing.

The ChapterShow

"We should've known this would happen, Linkara." the General said to Louis.

"For the last time, my name is Louis, not Linkara. I blame myself for this. I should've moved out sooner, but everyone convinced me to stay here and plan out things tactically before I leave for the Zlad Delta to fight the Darkness." Louis responded, walking down a slight of stairs.

"A week, sir! It's been a week since you've made that glorious announcement. I've heard tales of your battle with the Champion, each one more extraordinary than the next. If some of the things I've heard about you are true, the Darkness will not be able to stand a chance." the General stated.

"I hope you're right, General. I hope you're right." Louis replied.

The two went down one final flight of stairs, coming into a brightly lit room thanks to a large assemblage of candles. Five Knights stood in front of the archway, and shifted to the side as they saw whom it was. Louis and the General nodded and walked past them into the main chamber, which had a large table with several chairs around it. On the table were several maps and documented reports. The King sat at the head of the table along with several other Generals.

"What's the situation?" Louis asked.

"We got word that two days ago, the Dark Knights began advancing against our defensive lines between us and Ünaré. It's been a constant onslaught, their forces simply advancing without logic or strategy. A similar thing is happening within our own borders, where a great number of Dark Knights are still located. The troops we send to capture or kill them meet with immediate resistance. We've won most of the battles, but each time not without heavy casualties." one of the Generals stated.

Louis leaned over the table. "Where are the troop positions?"

One of the other Generals stood up and pointed to a line separating the two countries. "This is where the primary fighting is occurring: along the Elana River. We may need to start a draft to help with the troop shortage."

Louis looked at the map briefly, then thought about everything that had been said. He smiled and told the King, "Sir, I'd like to advise that you withdraw all troops along the border back to the nearest cities, forts, and castles."

"Retreat?" The King asked. "Why would we do that?"

"The Dark Knights aren't trying to start an invasion, they're trying to weaken your army, make it easier for them when they make the final push into Ai and destroy us all. We have to delay them as long as possible so that my companions and I can reach the Darkness and destroy it."

"I must still object to such an exercise. Give us some time to formulate some alliances with the other lands. We have never faced an invasion like this since the Terafell Arbiters!" one of the Generals pleaded.

Louis shook his head. "No. We have to go now. We have run out of time, people. The Dark Knights are determined to get here and kill me because they know I'm a threat to their plans. I say it's time we took the fight to them! Inform Indow and Lithmenar that we leave in three hours."

*

Indow sighed and let out a purr of happiness as she wrapped silky sheets around herself. She was lying in a soft white mattress, and she continued to purr as she rolled around in it. Her entire body felt completely relaxed in the smooth, cool cushions, she thought she was in some form of heaven. Ever since Danlor had been exposed as the traitor, the three had been treated to luxuries the likes of which only the King had been known to experience. Indow had spent most of her time in the bed, however. Back at the church, the most comfortable thing had experienced had been a mattress that was made of animal furs. Anything else was considered a distraction from her work.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Indow snapped out of her mattress-induced daze and saw Lithmenar leaning against the doorway. Indow took a quick look at herself, giving a mental sigh of relief that the sheets were protecting her naked form from the thief who now had entered her room. She narrowed her eyes at him, pulling more of the covers over to her just in case Lithmenar could make out any of her 'features.'

"What do you want?" she hissed.

"To tell you to get out of bed and start packing." Lithmenar replied.

"What are you talking about?!" Indow shouted.

"Louis is sick of waiting around doing nothing. He says its time we finally went got on our way to the Zlad Delta. And by that he means that we're going on a suicide mission against the Darkness of yours." Lithmenar explained.

Indow glared at Lithmenar. "You Jelitics are all the same! You blame the Linkara for all the problems in the world! If it were up to you, the Linkara would be responsible for any time a small child scraped a knee!"

Lithmenar balked, "Well, begging your humble pardon, your 'eminence,' but you can just be quiet for a second while I tell you why your backwards religion is wrong!"

Indow was about to shout something back, but Lithmenar silenced her by throwing a small metal marble at her head. It hit her squarely in the forehead, not doing any serious damage, but it did knock her back onto her comfortable sheets with a not-so comfortable headache. She clenched her teeth when she grabbed the small marble, recognizing it as a weapon frequently used by thieves. Lithmenar had used it differently, though, considering that the object was supposed to be thrown into someone's throat to choke them for a minute.

"The Linkaran faith preaches about some divine savior who's supposed to come and save our world from the Darkness, yet the only positive proof so far is that boy, who for all we know could be some sprite summoned up by a magician to pretend to be your savior! Not to mention that he's supposed to come from a land no one has seen or heard of, which only seems to make him more mysterious! This guy's supposed to be heavenly and sent down to us by Angels, yet the Angels only seem to care when it comes to the fate of the entire world! If they're so loving and forgiving like everyone in your religion seems to think they are, why do they let terrible things happen to good people?!"

"A very old question, Lithmenar."

Lithmenar snapped his head to the side, seeing Louis approaching the room. Indow regained her composure, growling loudly at Lithmenar. Louis smiled, though, stepping inside the room and sitting in a chair.

"On my world, the very debate you two are having has been occurring for centuries." Louis stated.

"Yes. 'Your world.' Tell me, Louis, where exactly is this world of yours?" Lithmenar inquired.

"In relation to this planet? Not sure. Of course, for all I know, I could be in an alternate dimension. The plant life here seems to support that..." Louis replied.

"And what sort of backwards superstitions does your world have?" Lithmenar asked.

Louis glared back at him. "I'll thank you not to call any religion some type of backwards superstitions. I smack people who say that VERY hard."

"But it doesn't make any sense! Why would any higher being that loved us want us to have suffering and death?!" Lithmenar demanded.

"You think he wants it? You think he wants us to suffer horribly and experience innumerable amounts of pain? According to my religion, God gave the first two living beings free will. He didn't want living beings to be mindless automatons that didn't do anything but worship him, he wanted people to choose what they wanted in their lives. He doesn't regret his decision but he does mourn for the suffering that people endure! Now let's stop this argument right here and head out! We've got an evil to destroy!" Louis shouted.

"What, it's your way or no way at all?" Lithmenar growled, stepping up.

Louis narrowed his eyes. "As a matter of fact, YES. I remind you, Lithmenar, that you chose to be a part of this group. Indow raised objections to you joining us, but I believe you can be trusted and can be an asset to us. Now, do you want to follow us and have the opportunity to be a hero and possibly make a profit in the process or are you just going to sit there and be an uptight jackass?"

*

Louis smiled and breathed in deeply as his horse galloped along the paths in the Ai countryside. He then let his normal senses take over, making sure he wasn't feeling nauseous or anything like what happened the last time he had left a large building. Fortunately, he didn't feel any ill effects or stomachaches that could be attributed to a certain disease that was native to Sin. Upon thinking about it, Louis winced. He knew from Civics class that when the Spanish came to the Western World, they brought along all their precious diseases, as well. He wondered if he had inadvertently brought along any diseases with him.

Fortunately, it didn't seem that they had affected Lithmenar, Indow, or anyone else here yet. And so, Louis merely chuckled with glee as the trio made their way along Ai's roads to get to the front lines of the war between the Dark Knights and Ai. Lithmenar grunted angrily at Louis' happiness.

"This is a suicide mission, kid." he stated.

"Indow said a similar thing about fighting the King's Champion. And yet, not only did I defeat him, but I gained a new toy in the fight against the Darkness." Louis smiled, looking down at his new gauntlet.

"I still don't believe in the Linkaran religion." Lithmenar said.

"Then don't believe in the religion, believe in the prophecies. Just because the prophecies are true doesn't mean the entire religion is correct." Louis replied.

"Yes it does!" Indow shouted.

"Hush." Louis commanded.

Indow sighed and continued to simply move along the paths on her horse. Lithmenar grinned as Indow moved her own horse closer to Louis'. She leaned in next to him to whisper.

"Why are you treating him with so much respect? He is a thief!"

Louis turned his head to her. "Does that mean he deserves any less of our respect?"

"Yes, it does!" Indow exclaimed.

Louis' eyes got wide as he stared at her.

Indow continued: "Thieves are below the common people. They are below peasants and all other beings! They lie, pickpocket, and steal, making their own lives better for the suffering of others! They are a menace, a plague to be wiped-"

"Shut. Up." Louis said.

His voice was strong yet quiet. Indow felt all the blood from her face drain as Louis slowly turned his head towards her. His eyes were filled with rage, and his mouth was straight and serious. He narrowed his eyes at her in a glare, sending shivers down Indow's spine.

"That kind of attitude once sent six million innocent people to their deaths, and started one of the bloodiest wars in my world's history. By the way, the same attitude was adopted by humans a thousand years ago on this very world. Do the words 'Terafell Arbiters' ring a bell?" Louis asked.

Indow winced and turned away, frowning. To her people, the Terafell Arbiters had been one of the greatest signs of evil ever to exist on Sin. There had been two great wars against the Arbiters, both of which were almost lost. And now, the very symbol of her religion had just accused her of thinking like one of the greatest enemies of the religion. She shivered at the thought.

"I'm sorry, my lord. You're quite right." she whispered.

"Damn straight. We need to-"

"We're being watched." Lithmenar interrupted.

Louis and Indow turned their attentions to the area around them. Lithmenar had already stopped, his head moving from side to side slowly with his eyes closed. All of a sudden, he opened his eyes.

"Jump! NOW!" he shouted.

The two didn't wait for an explanation. They leapt off their saddles just as two fiery red balls collided with the horses. The animals cried out in pain briefly before falling over, writhing in their own blood. Louis and Indow had crashed into the ground, but they quickly regained their senses. Louis' blades slid out of his gauntlets, and Indow began chanting some type of spell silently. Lithmenar leapt off his own horse, pulling a dagger from his leg and preparing himself for some type of knife fight. The three moved in a circle, back to back, to see if something was coming. Almost immediately, about six Dark Knights came storming out of the bushes and brushes. They roared and waved their swords in the air wildly.

Lithmenar moved with lightning speed, switching the position of the dagger in his hand so that he was holding the blade. He threw the knife at the nearest Dark Knight's head, piercing the helmet and digging the metal into its brain. The Knight toppled over immediately, leaving five more. Indow, not one to take chances (even with the Linkara nearby), finished casting her spell, and a white shield suddenly encompassed the three of them.

"PROTECTION!"

The Dark Knights slammed headfirst into the energy shield, getting knocked onto their backs from the impact. Louis and Lithmenar smiled. Indow stood walked up beside them.

"The shield will repel any force pushing down on it and repel it right back with equal intensity. I believe that victory is-"

"CHAOS SHIELD!"

Indow gasped as a black energy suddenly flowed over the Protection Shield that Indow had cast. And between the two shields, a storm was raging. White bolts of lightning shot into the black shield, trying to force it back. However, with equal fury and intensity, black bolts slammed back down onto the white shield. Louis readied his blades once more as he saw that the white shield was beginning to destabilize. Lithmenar had expected as much and shrugged, preparing more knives to throw at their attackers.

"PALE BINDINGS!"

Louis winced, realizing that whatever was casting the spells was once again doing something to incapacitate the group. All of a sudden, his arms went to his sides without his control. Louis tried to fight back against whatever had sealed his arms to his sides, but the more he pushed the more they clamped down on him. He looked down and it looked as if the air itself seemed to be wrapping around him and tying his arms. Louis was about to ask the others for assistance when he saw a similar plight befalling them, as well. Louis turned himself straight forwards once again only to see a black metal slam against the front of his face.

He tried to fight against the almost irresistible urge to fall asleep, but spots of color appeared in front his eyes and he could fight no longer. He fell to the ground as the other Dark Knights knocked Indow and Lithmenar unconscious. And down from the sky, two figures descended. They sat upon large pillows and wore black robes and shoulder armoring. They glared down at the three unconscious bodies.

"Now things will get interesting." one stated.

RiffingShow

"We should've known this would happen, Linkara." the General said to Louis.

"For the last time, my name is Louis, not Linkara."

We've been calling you Linkara since this season of the book club started. Better get used to it.

(Also pretty sure this is the first time someone calls him "Linkara" instead of "the Linkara". Truly one for the At4W history books.)

"I blame myself for this. I should've moved out sooner, but everyone convinced me to stay here and plan out things tactically before I leave for the Zlad Delta to fight the Darkness." Louis responded, walking down a slight of stairs.

Your exposition dumps are as smooth as always.
And how dare you plan things out before heading to fucking Mordor. Also I think this should be "strategically".

"A week, sir! It's been a week since you've made that glorious announcement."

I see the general (whose name we will probably never find out) joins in on the fun. I wonder how often they had this kind of discussion.

"I've heard tales of your battle with the Champion, each one more extraordinary than the next. If some of the things I've heard about you are true, the Darkness will not be able to stand a chance." the General stated.

He like jumped over the champion a few times. You better not go watch actual acrobats, for it'd probably blow your mind.

Five Knights stood in front of the archway

The King sat at the head of the table along with several other Generals.

Though it warms my German heart, you don't have to capitalize every bloody noun relating to a character.

It's been a constant onslaught, their forces simply advancing without logic or strategy.

So the Dark Knights are either zombies, or Russian.

"We may need to start a draft to help with the troop shortage."

Pretty sure "conscription" or better yet "levy" would be more fitting for the (still unspecified) time period. Must be the Babel fish.

"Sir, I'd like to advise that you withdraw all troops along the border back to the nearest cities, forts, and castles."

"Retreat?" The King asked. "Why would we do that?"

"The Dark Knights aren't trying to start an invasion, they're trying to weaken your army, make it easier for them when they make the final push into Ai and destroy us all. We have to delay them as long as possible so that my companions and I can reach the Darkness and destroy it."

"Let them raze the villages and farmland. That ought to keep them busy while you starve to death!"
Also hope you bring some troops along with your companions and yourself. Otherwise this will be a short journey.

Indow sighed and let out a purr of happiness as she wrapped silky sheets around herself. She was lying in a soft white mattress, and she continued to purr as she rolled around in it.

Now this paragraph doesn't mention where her hands are, but I have a hunch.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Indow snapped out of her mattress-induced daze and saw Lithmenar leaning against the doorway.

Without the specification, I would've assumed this nonchalant asshole was Linkara. They truly are heterosexual soulmates.

Indow took a quick look at herself, giving a mental sigh of relief that the sheets were protecting her naked form from the thief who now had entered her room.

Why are you sleeping naked, anyways? Does your new life of luxury not include a chemise?

"What do you want?" she hissed.

"To tell you to get out of bed and start packing." Lithmenar replied.

The people of Sin do not believe in knocking at the door.

"Louis is sick of waiting around doing nothing. He says its time we finally went got on our way to the Zlad Delta. And by that he means that we're going on a suicide mission against the Darkness of yours." Lithmenar explained.

And you're joining this "suicide mission" because...?

Lithmenar balked, "Well, begging your humble pardon, your 'eminence,' but you can just be quiet for a second while I tell you why your backwards religion is wrong!"

Dis Gon B Gud.

Indow was about to shout something back, but Lithmenar silenced her by throwing a small metal marble at her head. It hit her squarely in the forehead, not doing any serious damage, but it did knock her back onto her comfortable sheets with a not-so comfortable headache.

Lithmenar's such a chad, he can pimp slap from a distance.

"The Linkaran faith preaches about some divine savior who's supposed to come and save our world from the Darkness, yet the only positive proof so far is that boy, who for all we know could be some sprite summoned up by a magician to pretend to be your savior!"

I probably would've mentioned how the entire religion revolves around a single prophecy whose full text no one has known in several generations, but this is a servicable start, I suppose. Never mind that the Darkness from the prophecy has been around for 300 years and has only ever confirmed both the prophecy and Linkara being the chosen one.

This guy's supposed to be heavenly and sent down to us by Angels, yet the Angels only seem to care when it comes to the fate of the entire world! If they're so loving and forgiving like everyone in your religion seems to think they are, why do they let terrible things happen to good people?!"

Dude's going all the problem of evil here. Though I'm not sure if this is the best religion to use this against, seeing how this religion only cares about the Linkara.
Also is anyone starting to get annoyed that the people of Sin apparently know of no higher spiritual power than angels? Where the fuck are the gods?
Is Linkara's translation power acting up? Is the Linkaran faith off-brand Shintoism, but his Babel fish decided to translate "Not-Kami" as "Angel"?

"A very old question, Lithmenar."

Lithmenar snapped his head to the side, seeing Louis approaching the room.

Of course. Why should the devout sorcerer-priestess defend her faith? Have our fucking isekai hero ramble incoherently about something called "Christianity". That ought to do the trick.
Though maybe it's for the best. After all, as Linkara's atheist dickrider, Lithmenar has no choice but to agree with everything he says.
Also he also didn't knock at the door.

Indow regained her composure, growling loudly at Lithmenar.

Has Linkara (the author) been watching animu with feral catgirls before writing this chapter? Why is Indow so animalistic all of a sudden?

"And what sort of backwards superstitions does your world have?" Lithmenar asked.

Louis glared back at him. "I'll thank you not to call any religion some type of backwards superstitions. I smack people who say that VERY hard."

Somewhere in Africa: "Hey guys! My neighbor has an albino son. Let's kill him and sell his body parts!"
Somewhere in Haiti: "A voodoo priest told me that an old witch is responsible for my son's sickness. Let's go and kill every old person we see!"

The Great Linkara will smack you VERY hard if you think this is "backwards superstition".

"You think he wants it? You think he wants us to suffer horribly and experience innumerable amounts of pain?

Well if you go by the Old Testament alone...

According to my religion, God gave the first two living beings free will. He didn't want living beings to be mindless automatons that didn't do anything but worship him, he wanted people to choose what they wanted in their lives.

You kinda forgot the part where God exiles all of humanity into a world of misery because the two first humans got a bit too uppity with their free will.
Is this really the best retort you managed to find / come up with, Linkara (the author)?

"What, it's your way or no way at all?" Lithmenar growled, stepping up.

Oh ho ho. Seems I judged him too soon. He still has a spine and has not been fully buck broken by Linkara.

Louis narrowed his eyes. "As a matter of fact, YES. I remind you, Lithmenar, that you chose to be a part of this group. Indow raised objections to you joining us, but I believe you can be trusted and can be an asset to us. Now, do you want to follow us and have the opportunity to be a hero and possibly make a profit in the process or are you just going to sit there and be an uptight jackass?"

"If God the Angels are real, why do bad things happen to good people?!"
"Oh, that's an old hat in my world. It's really all about free will..."
"I am not convinced."
"SHUT UP OR I WILL KICK YOU OUT OF MY PARTY!"

Well, that discussion certainly went nowhere. Glad to have witnessed this rare moment of... character bonding?

*

Upon thinking about it, Louis winced. He knew from Civics class that when the Spanish came to the Western World, they brought along all their precious diseases, as well. He wondered if he had inadvertently brought along any diseases with him.

The Spanish also got the shits in return, so it all balances out in the end.

Fortunately, it didn't seem that they had affected Lithmenar, Indow, or anyone else here yet.

I dunno. Lithmenar seems to have suddenly stopped being your dickrider, and Indow seems to be going feral. Coincidence? I think not.

And so, Louis merely chuckled with glee as the trio made their way along Ai's roads to get to the front lines of the war between the Dark Knights and Ai.

So it's really just the three of them, meaning they're fucked if they run into a squad or two of Dark Knights.
Riding on an open road, where any watchpost will see them for miles.
Merrily traveling to the front line of an active war, where the Dark Knights will be extra diligent with looking out for enemy scouts and raiding parties.



This is like if walking through Osgiliath was Sam and Frodo's plan all along.

Lithmenar grunted angrily at Louis' happiness.

"This is a suicide mission, kid." he stated.

Turn around if you think this is a stupid idea. No one is forcing you to be here.

"Indow said a similar thing about fighting the King's Champion. And yet, not only did I defeat him, but I gained a new toy in the fight against the Darkness." Louis smiled, looking down at his new gauntlet.

You will need a lot more than another Power Glove if the horizon starts filling with the banners and lances of the Darkness' heavy cavalry.

"I still don't believe in the Linkaran religion." Lithmenar said.

"Then don't believe in the religion, believe in the prophecies."

Dude, this entire religion is nothing but the prophecies.

"Just because the prophecies are true doesn't mean the entire religion is correct." Louis replied.

"Yes it does!" Indow shouted.

"Hush." Louis commanded.

I think this is an abusive relationship. Linkara finds her reverence amusing and wants to find out how much of a dick he has to be before she snaps.

"Why are you treating him with so much respect? He is a thief!"

Louis turned his head to her. "Does that mean he deserves any less of our respect?"

I dunno, the tried to steal your shiny toy, and since he's both a criminal and an atheist you have no reason to assume that he won't sell you out to the Darkness for a big enough bag of gold. In fact he specifically said he's just hanging out with you guys in hopes of riches, not because he particularly cares about you.

Indow continued: "Thieves are below the common people. They are below peasants and all other beings! They lie, pickpocket, and steal, making their own lives better for the suffering of others! They are a menace, a plague to be wiped-"

"Shut. Up." Louis said.

His voice was strong yet quiet. Indow felt all the blood from her face drain as Louis slowly turned his head towards her. His eyes were filled with rage, and his mouth was straight and serious. He narrowed his eyes at her in a glare, sending shivers down Indow's spine.

"That kind of attitude once sent six million innocent people to their deaths, and started one of the bloodiest wars in my world's history. By the way, the same attitude was adopted by humans a thousand years ago on this very world. Do the words 'Terafell Arbiters' ring a bell?" Louis asked.

"I hate criminals. They break the law and cause suffering and misery to innocent people!"

"This reminds me of Jews..."

What did Linkara mean by this?

"We're being watched." Lithmenar interrupted.

Turns out the enemy notices it if you casually stroll on an open road towards their territory during a war.

Indow began chanting some type of spell silently

Cool trick.

Lithmenar leapt off his own horse, pulling a dagger from his leg and preparing himself for some type of knife fight.

I don't think the evil knights have interest in any "type of knife fight". You're fucked, mate.

He threw the knife at the nearest Dark Knight's head, piercing the helmet and digging the metal into its brain.

Why even wear armor at all at this point? Seems the only thing it is good for is protecting against groin kicks, but there's only one person in all the land who has figured this out.

"The shield will repel any force pushing down on it and repel it right back with equal intensity. I believe that victory is-"

"CHAOS SHIELD!"

Don't you just hate it when the bad guys also have mages? Why can't the Darkness be like the king of Ai and not care about wizards for some reason?

So our heroes get hit with a Save or Suck spell that instantly ends the fight and paralyzes them long enough for the remaining knights to deck them in the face.
The hell did Linkara think was gonna happen?

Next Time: Will we find out why the next chapter is called "Dark Raven" when the people of this world don't even know what a "chicken" is? And will I get it done before Christmas?

[BenComicGraphics]

>writes power fantasy
>gets cucked again and again

It gets ever clearer that he takes everything he can get IRL

I just want to point out Fesworks, who has been in many of Lewis's videos, is a cuck under the guise of an open marriage. And Dr Crafty the disgraced fired titlecard artist was trying to form a polycule