E3 - June 9-12

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Really? He even got his own DLC story mode and everything!

[Kugelfisch]

Really? He even got his own DLC story mode and everything!

You don't think I actually played nu-DMC, do you?

[Guest]

I didn't even know Vergil was in nu-DMC.

I assume you've never seen either of these videos?


(apparently the second one of these is blocked in burgerland now)

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Fuck me, those are ugly Ifrit/Beowful replacements.

Really? He even got his own DLC story mode and everything!

You don't think I actually played nu-DMC, do you?

Neither did I, but I've heard the stories.

[ban]

The Lupaposter showed the only two clips necessary for anyone caring about DmC. Top taste.

Also, nu-Vergil's DLC is him going full emo and fighting his Hollow in the dreamscape of his heart to receive Vizard powers. What, don't believe me?

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_AZAPCsPBI
[/youtube]
You know, when DMC went full animu and copied Ichigo, Orihime and Bleach's story for DMC4, they did it with grace instead of this...blatant rip-off. GG Tameem, DMC was too japanese eh, that's why you copied Bleach. the most japanese manga you could find?

Fuck Miyazaki and how he fucked AC5. He even inerted Lore for the thirsfags to drool over. For Answer was great and the only bit of mystery anyone ever wanted was how the fuck you could beat White Glint and its pilot, the Anatolia Mercenar with no name(who's supposed to be nameless to be like you, the nameless self-insert character) but the fags mistook it as hidden lore as well and Miyazaki dragged them along with his boner to AC5. It was bad enough that AC4 semi-rebooted the franchise in terms of story and technology but at least it moved the gameplay forward. AC5 was a travesty that focused on big numbers and unnecessary multiplayer. It was Armoured Souls to a T.

It's Virgin voice, Donte's brother or rather Dino's brother since the initial joke was "Dino and Virgin".

In other news, Todd announced DOOM Eternal(sounds like a spin-off to Kamen Rider W, starring Kamen Rider Eternal) and Wolfenstein Youngblood, starring (((B.J. Blazkowitz)))'s (((twin daughters))) one of which has a lesbian haircut. I really want the nazis to win in the new Wolfie games. Fuck the characters and Machine games, they cucked Billy Blaze and his glorious family of Commander Keen and Billy Blaze III / Doomguy. It'll be a wonder if Doomguy is a straight male in the new Doom sequel and not some secret demonsexual deviant or something.

[ban]

>Assassin Creed Odyssey
>About Spartan Wohman warriors
>SPARTAN WOMEN WARRIORS

Get fucked Ubisoft, get really fucked. Trying to act like one of the best people in ancient greece when it came to women had shit like barbaric practices like women being drafted in the army, doing everything to grow muscles and go to war. GET FUCKED! The one place were women were allowed to be women, partake in sports have their own gymnasia(they basically did exercises naked, like the men did) and be /fit/ and beautiful to be perfect mothers and kind humble creatures ad you made her a really gay Athenian with boobs. You know what, on second thought, it's far more laughable they can't even get history straight and have some godawful accents as if they watched the Wonder Woman movie and botched the already botched accents they have there.

Kugel, you're next, you know it. We already had KANGZ Egypt, cucked Greece, shit Paris, Murka, Carribean, Syria or wherever te first game took place, India, China and Italy. Japan's never happening so it's either you, Austria or worse, Spain during the El Cid era and having all the moors be noble and El Cid be a savage that you have to kill and adopt his identity as a woman in disguise.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Couldn't they just use amazons? Why make them Spartan?

(And Japan will eventually happen when they run out of other shit to set their games in.)

[ban]

But the idea is "Ancient Greek assassins" and Amazonians aren't greek, contrary to popular belief. They were some really barbaric midget tribe that was full of muscles and loped off breasts, nobody loved them, especially when used to really love boobs over here. The only time anyone portrayed Amazons in a positive light when they made them Hera's favourite foreign people(yeah, the shrill abusive women are the favourite of the Mother of the Gods who constantly got cheated on and yelled at her husband ) and people used them for the labours of Hercules and later when they made Hippolyta Theseus waifu by making her a tall and amazingly beautiful woman with great sexual ability and Shakespeare made that version of Amazons more popular. But given how brown(not even olive, straight up brown) Ubisoft made the characters, they may as well set it in a world where Amazons took over and allowed their male spawns to live.

As for Japan, I'm almost conveinced they'll have a zombie Assassin Creed, a Space Assassin and an Assassin on the moon with aliens first, before even thinking about touching them. I'm almost certain they'll even invent a mecha AssCreed to avoid japan.

[Kugelfisch]

Kugel, you're next, you know it.

Us? You mean us who are constantly and have been for decades the go to bad guys? You mean us who got memed on by Battlefield 1 with nothing but niggers in the Waffen SS? You mean us who'll get some female semi-cyborg in the next Battlefield? You mean us who get Wolfenstein being the dumbest shit ever?
You know, my grandfather was in the Africa Corps, the one with the baller palm and swastika logo.

In southwest, you'll still be welcome by the local niggers for liberating them from the enternal Anglo. I'm well used to the one-sided, jew propaganda shit we get. Don't act like I don't know what it feels like. I've known from the day I was born. Deal with it. Get fit, prepare and use it as coals on your fire when the day comes.
We'll have one hell of a time in the field, tell you hwhat, boy!

phpBB [video]

[ban]

We're in the same boat, people acting like it's our damn fault the Byzantines were clueless fucks and fucked the rest of europe with them, people acting we should be ashamed we aren't muslim or haven't been covnerted like our 400 year overlord kid diddlers etc and get acused for not bending over backwards and giving all of our land to the Balkan-mongol roaches from above just because they demanded it. And apparently we are also Nazi spawn just because some overly sensitive kiddie didlers took over the military and roleplayed as Hitler's elite squad for some year while the rest of us were either asking for help or getting gunned on the streets.

And they'll still find a way to meme us all even further and trounce whatever history any of us had. Hell, I semi expect some Goth AssCreed to happen where the TRUE goths were some random niggers and moors and the evulz hwite Ostrogoths and Visigoths were actually secret roman propaganda soldiers trying to uplift the noble dark skinned warriors of Old Germania. I know you think I'm joking but we're talking about the same people who made Egyptians into Wakandans.

Wait, do I have to drink Jones' special bone juice and instal a water filter as well? But my frogs aren't gay.