Pat the NES Cunt

[Keith Chegwin]

Oh her. Yeah no, she's 100% German. Likely an offspring of some SS officer that fled to South America when the Reich went down.

She's fifth generation, actually. Doesn't even speak German

[Kugelfisch]

Eh, doesn't matter. Point is, she's not some HUE.

[Le Redditeur]

Her family does speak German. She learned it in school when she was a kid, but according to her, forgot about it because she never practiced her Nazi Speak after she became a model.

[BobbyBoucher]

Time for another Pat "Gen Xoomer" Contri update:

Since this is getting rather long, so here's the more interesting bits:

• Pat used the Christchurch shooting as an opportunity to complain about PewDiePie. Said PDP should be careful what kind of audience he's attracting. (PewDiePie is complicit?)
  • Guess he didn't read the manifesto. Spyro is the one clearly responsible for this.
• The 2019 marathon was a failure. It took in $9000 less than 2017 ($22k vs $13k in 2009).
  • This is due to holding it in spring, but also James Rolfe didn't make a vid or promote it.
• His SNES guidebook brought in $11k less then the NES book ($144k for NES vs $133K for SNES).
  • I thought it would be closer to $100k. Why would anyone trust a man who never beat Chrono Trigger or waited until the SNES classic to play Star Fox 2?
• Pat's cousin is apparently one of the "more popular" Twitch Thots.
  • He mentioned his cousin streaming on another podcast, but I assumed that was a guy.
• Pat complains repeatedly about the YouTube audience ("this is an audio podcast"). I think he's slowly cracking.
• On Pat's reddit, someone made their own podcast where they speculated that Denise/Storm from his videos was Pat's ex-girlfriend because she attended conventions with him.
  • Coal-burner Contri.
• Pat still doesn't understanding game streaming isn't viable with data caps. It's not even particularly good without them.
• The old developer for his guidebook app apparently screwed him out of thousands of dollars and he's thinking of suing.

cu podcast 149:

• Pat says there is no controversy (Diablo) because no one complained to him at gaming con.
  • Number of people who go to cons is small. Pat goes to like 12 a year.
    • "meet me at a con" is Pat's verison of "Fight me in real life."
• Pat discusses twitter spats.
  • He says he got into twitter fights with two people, but I only saw the one.
  • People are insulting you pat, because you're an object of derision.
  • This is step 3 of Pat's downfall.
  • Downfall of Internet Nobodies:
    • Step 1. Buy a house you can't afford. ($1.2 million)
    • Step 2. Say something incredible stupid that riles people up. (Diablo Immortal.)
    • Step 3. Acknowledge criticism/trolling by doubling down. (Pat is here.)
    • Step 4. Fly high for a while, by income dries up as your niche market (retro gaming) dies/shifts.
      • Or, possibly, someone raises taxes on million dollar homes.
    • Step 5. Lose the house.
    • Step 6. Lose your life. (Suicide.)
  • Look at James Rolfe. People say shit about him, but he never gives it attention.
    • (An exception would be the Ghostbusters 2016 video, but he had Hollywood actors taking swings at him.)
• Now that the retro market is falling, Pat is selling parts of his collection. He sold Uninvited.
  • Starting to reduce his collection.
• "Spread the word that this is an audio podcast to the YouTube audience that doesn't like us."
  • Some people listening to the podcast hate you as well.
• On the Anticipation NES Punk video: "we were ahead of the time, that was a let's play"
• Pat says the last dev for his guidebook app was a piece of crap.
  • Got a new one.

cu podcast 150:

• they were in top 10 or 5 of gaming podcasts in 2013/14.
• They're going to have a "challenge wheel" for the marathon.
• DC cinematic universe talk. Nerd Crew checking in.
  • they claim credit for predicting DC's cinematic failures
    • The only cinematic universe to succeed has been marvel, so they can't really claim credit here.
  • They also say Snyder was fired from Justice league, but he left due to his daughter's suicide.
  • Say all the MCU movies were watchable.
    • it's all capeshit
• during the "old man gives away collection" segment, Ian mentions that game collecting has moved to GameCube and N64. He's lucky if he sells two NES games a shift.
  • Pat should be in full panic mode once he heard this. His "career" is built on the retro market.
  • It's happened to other nobodies like The Game Chasers.
    • The market drove them out (lack of games to find and interest).
    • Classsic Game Room is dead. No one cares about Atari or Vectrex.
    • Spoony's career is dead, though that's mostly his fault.
  • This is probably the last retro book he'll be writing, unless he manuevers himself into being an editor for books other people write.
• pat is planning to sell off a chunk of his collection
• Ian's story about a browbeat man and his drunk girlfriend is amusing
  • but I think he's the "listen and believe" type of person, so he'd turn on Tom the second his drunken girlfriend made an accusation.
• Ian wishes he didn't work in retail
• Podcast without Pat segment:
  • Ian says he'd talk about more modern games.
  • Ian says he'd have ReviewTechUSA as a guest host.
    • Pat says he lied about being sick and missing an interview.
  • pat complains about not having a vacation for 12 years, despite for the last several years doing a podcast one day a week (and he gets Twitter to crowdsource stories for him).
    • if pat has enough time to respond to trolls, he doesn't need a vacation
• had to beg twitter for a scumbag seller of the week
• Dead Or Alive $90 dlc talk
  • attacked by doa fans
  • one handed fighting game, says ian
  • pat thinks it's creepy
  • pat only heard of mai shiranui because tits
  • pat says the games are mechanically fun
    • 15 seconds earlier admitted he doesn't play the games
• pat mentions attacking devin farachi over ghostbsuters/rolfe thing, back when pat was less dumb
  • also pat defended gerstmann against rooster teeth
• Aftershow:
  • They discuss some books and plays:
    • Say that no one ever says books don't age well.
      • It actually happens all the time, Pat and Ian are just dumb.
    • story structure, drama, and moralty never change says Pat.
      • he's an idiot
      • called this "the most intelligent stream on Twitch"
    • Pat never read Great Gatsby.

cu podcast 151:

• pat is mildly upset marathon made less money than last year (2017: $22,253 vs. 2019: $13,334).
  • pat's campaign only hit 13,000 because someone donated $1,000 right at the end.
  • There was no AVGN video this year, not helping pat.
  • Besides that, the giving season is the lead up to Christmas, not March.
  • mystery pizza
    • Pat thinks he knows who sent it (I was hoping someone was pranking them)
• pat enjoyed Captain Marvel, but wouldn't say it was great.
  • ian really liked the story and brie larson's acting
  • pat may cry at next avengers if a character dies
  • frankly I'm surprised neither of them brought up the "controversey" of Rotten Tomatoes and the drama channels.
• pat recommends glue-sticking down the labels on NwC carts
  • potentially damaging the value of collector's items
• Stamps.com is probably going to lose its deal with the USPS, so Pat can kiss his advertising goodbye.
• Pat owned a replica highlander sword.
• Ian can understand why people are upset over Sonic character design.
  • Yet, doesn't understand Diablo Immortal complaints.
  • these guys respect sonic fans more than diablo complainers
• Aftershow:
  
  • Pat forgot to highlight last year's marathon.
    • Does have a copy of 2017.
    • Keeps saying he'll upload the others.
  • 10,000 audio downloads per show for the now defunct not so common podcast
  • pat again mentions that n64 and gamecube collecting is more popular than NES
    • Suggests that he might write a Game Boy or N64 book.
  • pat will cut down on conventions due to lack of energy
  • Pat says his Twitch account was grandfathered as a Partner due to previous marathons.
  • Pat says he's "half-acting" when he complains a lot like the Zelda turtorial during the marathon. Claims he does this sometimes.
  • last app dev owes pat thousands of dollars
  • Pat makes a joke about knowing people's addresses due to book sales.
    • Fair play, everyone knows his now.
  • Pat says east coast pizza is better.
    • Somehow he tangents off into discussion Papa John's pizza and NFL kneeling.
  • Pat says he's nearing 40, but looks younger.
    • No, he looks just like any old guido in New Jersey.
  • Pat suggested Mark Bussler not abandon YouTube
  • Pat didn't know about the Popeye Super Famicom game.
    • Will now add it to his book.
  • Pat only reviewed 80 games for the snes book.
  • Pat says his cousin is one of the more popular female Twitch streamers.
    • His cousin is a Twitch Thot?!
    • Not Amouranth since he didn't recognize name in the trending section.
  • They used Wirecast during marathon because it has more features or something.
  • Gets bit/cheer doesn't know what it's for.

cu podcast 152:

• Pixel Dan was on WWE RAW or something.
• Bunch of shit about Marvel movies.
  • "We don't know how it's going to end."
    • Good guys win, most people live. Any lead who wants out of their contract dies.
  • Pat then complains more about DCU.
• Pat says he'd let his ex-girlfriend bang Idris Elba. (This was probably Denise/Storm.)
• Christchurch shooting
  • The basically say PewDiePie is complicit and should know about the audience he's attracting.
  • By that logic, Candace Owens and Spyro are equally responsible.
  • It's not like the alt-right/white nationalists/whatever are a tiny group despereate to promote themselves in any way possible.
    • No, Pat, better to give in to the trolling.
  • I'm sure Colin Kapernick doesn't have any fans who committed violent crimes.
    • No, don't think this through, Pat.
• Google Stadia annoucnement:
  • Game streaming is a non-starter due to bandwidth caps
  • Pat speaks as if Google Fiber is still a thing and not another dead Google project.
  • Ian says Sony charges $30/month for their game stream, but it also needs PS+ service, so thinks Stadia could cost $50/month.
    • You can build a mid-tier gaming PC for $500 to $600, why use this service?
    • $60/yr for PS+, $100/yr for PSNow. Ian's numbers are off.
  • Pat complains about building PCs because he's no longer in his 20s.
    • Doesn't want to buy $800 GPUs anymore (I thought he bought a 1060, but I guess he is rich).
  • Say goodbye to modding. Pat really doesn't understand PC gaming.
• Pat repeated his "fly out for gold NWC cart" story
  • he bought it in 2011, 5-6k below max price at the time ($18k in 2011, so pat paid $12k)
• Someone was pirating the NES guidebook for $5.
• Aftershow:
  • pat considers doing a morning show.
  • pat think he looks younger than 38, he's delusional
  • pat does yoga
  • Pat is friends with an LA instagram model.

They also have some sycophant running a Twitter account:

[Guest]

i remember when pat first hit the scene, thinking to myself 'this guy looks and acts like a fucking retard and makes james rolfe look like rembrandt by comparison'. the few of his videos i looked at were abysmal train-wrecks. all i can do is but wonder how X amount of people saw anything of value or quality in those videos, allowing him to now have a million dollar house and talk about shit he knows nothing about, while feeling his opinions are somehow important.

what the fuck is wrong with you people who actually watched this retarded curly haired fuck back then? you're to blame for his current existence. never forget that. just like i'll never forget one of the few times i looked at his stupid gay ass, 10+yrs ago, and he did that cringey as fuck face where he opens his eyes really big and kind of wiggles his head from side to side. WHAT THE FUCK. how did that... that THING... become 'efamous'. he's a fucking MUTANT.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

• Pat says there is no controversy (Diablo) because no one complained to him at gaming con.

>Thinking you're important enough for people to actively approach you to share their feelings with you.

[Dehbashi]

Good job for going through his nonsense but I want to focus on parts of it.

Pat used the Christchurch shooting as an opportunity to complain about PewDiePie. Said PDP should be careful what kind of audience he's attracting. (PewDiePie is complicit?)

• Guess he didn't read the manifesto. Spyro is the one clearly responsible for this.

Of course he went after PewDiePie. He has always had a hard on hatred for him. Seems super jealous of him.

• This is due to holding it in spring, but also James Rolfe didn't make a vid or promote it.

I was actually surprised he didn't do this in November as he usually does. Did he give an excuse on why that is. And lol blaming James for it being worse.

Pat says there is no controversy (Diablo) because no one complained to him at gaming con.

Maybe they don't want to deal with your corporate stooge talk since you sucking their dick blew up on YouTube enough that other YouTubers made videos about it. People know that they would be talking to a brick wall.

Look at James Rolfe. People say shit about him, but he never gives it attention.

• (An exception would be the Ghostbusters 2016 video, but he had Hollywood actors taking swings at him.)

[/list]

I don't where this myth that James is not a sperg comes from. The only reason why you don't see it often is because he is not on social media. Mike runs everything. And he admits with Ghostbusters he had no idea his video did anything because he is not really online. He actually does sperg when people criticize him. Watch his commentary on the Sega Activator with Keith Apicary. That was voted as the worst AVGN episode of all time and got torn to shreds when it released. He got assblasted and complained that people were too dumb enough to understand the humor and that is why they couldn't see it was great.

DC cinematic universe talk. Nerd Crew checking in.

I actually watched that part and laughed at their dishonesty. Maybe in their first video they thought the production to JL was too fast but that was never their main complaints of the movies. They complained it was too serious and not goofy like Marvel movies. Also they still don't put in the full context of the prison rape scene of Batman that Snyder said. He was just talking about Dark Knight Rises and how people say it was dark and edgy it was and he just refuted that on how the movie was and how Batman is. He just said if you wanted the make the movie edgy that this is how he would do it. Not that this is Batman.

pat complains about not having a vacation for 12 years, despite for the last several years doing a podcast one day a week (and he gets Twitter to crowdsource stories for him).

That's rich since he barely does Punk episodes. There may be max 2 a year and each one has gotten worse than the previous one when he started this so he has barely put in the effort.

pat enjoyed Captain Marvel, but wouldn't say it was great.
ian really liked the story and brie larson's acting

No surprise the soy boys like it.

frankly I'm surprised neither of them brought up the "controversey" of Rotten Tomatoes and the drama channels.

I am not. They used RT to bash the DC Films as if it's the end all be all of reviews. But them acknowledging this they would have to admit how bias RT is.

Ian can understand why people are upset over Sonic character design.

• Yet, doesn't understand Diablo Immortal complaints.
• these guys respect sonic fans more than diablo complainers

Like SJWs, who mocked people upset about femboy She-Ra but got triggered over the reboot of Kim Possible. Pure Bias. Also since it is in at the retro community to bash anything post 2D sonic.

I'm sure Colin Kapernick doesn't have any fans who committed violent crimes.

• No, don't think this through, Pat.

Of course he is going to ignore Black Lives Matter Only when Killed by Whitey.
And people say oh but blacks don't kill at the high rate at once as Whites do. Well duh. Black people can't aim. If they do hit someone they hit an innocent bystander 100 feet away when their target is 10 feet.

[Guest]

• This is due to holding it in spring, but also James Rolfe didn't make a vid or promote it.

I was actually surprised he didn't do this in November as he usually does. Did he give an excuse on why that is. And lol blaming James for it being worse.

November was the month all the Diablo controversy happened. So he'd have recieved even less than what he already had.

[Guest]

Batman got prison raped?

[Guest]

And people say oh but blacks don't kill at the high rate at once as Whites do. Well duh. Black people can't aim. If they do hit someone they hit an innocent bystander 100 feet away when their target is 10 feet.

what the hell are you talking about? who says this? all people with an IQ over 100 know that black kill at a much higher rate than whites, and it's backed up by government stats.