Star Whores: Diverse Agenda

[Keith Chegwin]

It sets up the idea that even though his dad was a big influence on him with archaeology, they've always been emotionally distant.

Jones Sr isn't an archaeologist, he's a Medieval History professor. The whole point of their relationship is that Indy's dad didn't do shit for him, he grew up to be his own man and followed his own path and yet in many ways they're like mirror images of each other.

All of which you got in the bulk of the movie. Jones Sr not looking up from his book could have easily been cut and the movie wouldn't have lost anything of any significance.

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, on the other hand, had an overcomplicated plot that wasn't just DUMB but DULL. The movie is loaded with lame exposition and a lot of the time Indy is reduced to an extra in his own movie because Harrison Ford was getting too old for this shit.

I don't think anyone tried to argue that Crystal Skull wasn't total shit

[Rapeculture]

I never saw Crystal Skull. The notion of ancient Harrison Ford trying to be Indy again was both hilarious and sad. And they're wanting to make another one! Give it up, assholes.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Indiana Jones and the Retirement Home of Terror.

[Rapeculture]

Indiana Jones and the Retirement Home of Terror.

That would be the only way I'd watch. Make it self-aware. Hell, copypasta the plot of Bubba Ho-tep onto the movie and you've got a suitable new Indy flick.

[Guest]

I never saw Crystal Skull. The notion of ancient Harrison Ford trying to be Indy again was both hilarious and sad. And they're wanting to make another one! Give it up, assholes.

No! Luca$ is retired now! Who will we blame for the movie Spielberg is directing against his will and has absolutely no say on!?

[Guest]

Watch Phasma show up in 9, maybe in a fightercraft in a space battle for 5 minutes and gets blown up and the fans bawww
about how she's still alive somehow.

Considering how rare it is for big hollywood movies to kill off a female character I wouldn't put it past them

[Charlar]

Watch Phasma show up in 9, maybe in a fightercraft in a space battle for 5 minutes and gets blown up and the fans bawww
about how she's still alive somehow.

Considering how rare it is for big hollywood movies to kill off a female character I wouldn't put it past them

I can see what they'll write in the Shitney EU to justify her being there again: the'll bring up either cloning or "Phasma is a title" and whoever wears the armor is Phasma or shit like that

[Guest]

She's clearly not dead since the movie went out its way to show how indestructible her armor is just before she "died". A few flames and a short fall aint going to put a dent in that.

[Charlar]

She's clearly not dead since the movie went out its way to show how indestructible her armor is just before she "died". A few flames and a short fall aint going to put a dent in that.

I soppose then she managed somehow to get off (off screen) something being destroyed again not that it matter

[Tony Schiavone]

The dumbest thing they could do is set up the climax of the last movie to be Rei vs. Phasma.

SpoilerShow

Leia hands over all the keys to the Resistance to Rei before she quietly goes off to the retirement home to be one with the Force with her brother and Han (this is all offscreen).

Meanwhile, Phasma takes over the First Order and turns it into an effective fighting force because boys are dumb.
(Kylo Ren's destiny is to fight and lose to the black guy).

Rei leads a squadron of mostly untrained kids to fight the battle army. She crashes but gets to fight Phasma somehow--who takes off her helmet and says she secretly knows lightsabering.
Even though it's two women, Rei wins because evil is bad, and she captures her to put in jail for bad people.

The black guy wins because he finally figures himself out, after the brown pilot dies earlier in the movie (1) because he's a lower minority on the totem pole and (2) because he must pay for the sin of disobeying a woman.
Kylo Ren is taught that lessen about being yourself and not someone else and is thus spared and now good so girls in the audience can have their non-threating bad boy to fawn over.

They all end with staring at the space sky which is now a wonderful magical place filled with children who can now learn force powers, because the universe is happy.

So of course that will probably happen.