Star Whores: Diverse Agenda

[MegaNigger]

I figure with all the star wars talk going around the Internet nobody threads we need to compile the sperg a bit.

Discuss the new LGBTQXYZ shit fest of a franchise that idiot college libshits introduced "RING THEORY" to!

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

The franchise can still be salvaged with the Darth Jar-Jar theory turns out to be true. That would be the greatest twist in cinema history.

[Mr. Saoirse Ronan]

It ain't happening. No way would that even be on the list of 1001 things to even be considered.

Hell, the director of TLJ is already saying he doesn't even really deal with Snoke in his movie. I wouldn't be shocked if we don't even get a last name for Rey or even find out where she comes from, let alone deal with anything outside of this new circle of shitty friends.

And my god, TLJ looks like such a budget movie. Just fucking cheap as hell.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Of course Snoke doesn't play a major role in this Episode. After all, Palpatine didn't really matter until Return of the Jedi!

(And Rey will probably find out where she comes from at the end of TLJ shortly before getting her arm chopped off.)

[Kugelfisch]

The comprehensive review and guide for all Star Wars movies after the original trilogy by Kugelfisch:
It's shit.

Am I the only one already sicker of Star Wars than capeshit? I'd be happy to never hear about the franchise ever again.

[Pope Corky III]

Am I the only one already sicker of Star Wars than capeshit? I'd be happy to never hear about the franchise ever again.

Nope and Yep.

[MegaNigger]

Am I the only one already sicker of Star Wars than capeshit? I'd be happy to never hear about the franchise ever again.

Nope and Yep.

Hollywood just HAD to take it and fuck up a perfectly fine and fun trilogy about space wizards and lasers and mix in all this identity polidick bullshit.

[Seele]

It ain't happening. No way would that even be on the list of 1001 things to even be considered.

Hell, the director of TLJ is already saying he doesn't even really deal with Snoke in his movie. I wouldn't be shocked if we don't even get a last name for Rey or even find out where she comes from, let alone deal with anything outside of this new circle of shitty friends.

And my god, TLJ looks like such a budget movie. Just fucking cheap as hell.

I think they said they're saving Rey's "delightful revelation" for the end of Episode 9. Rumor has it that she's probably not Luke's daughter, but a reincarnation of Anakin reborn through the Force, but with a vagina. It'll probably half-assedly explain why she's conveniently OP and all-knowingly knowledgeable about everything. Or, they'll take the easy safe route and make her Luke's daughter anyway, essentially ripping off Empire. They may even "break new ground" and have her lose a whole foot instead of a hand. How original. They already stated she's stronger than Luke in the new movie, so getting trained by him is ultimately pointless considering everything she did in TFA alone is what took Luke an entire Trilogy to master.

So far, Snoke is a fucking joke. He's a cross between Gollum and Voldemort while being an obvious ripoff of The Emperor from the OT while being nowhere near as imposing because they revealed him too soon. He feels like a Saturday morning cartoon villain in The Farce Awakens alone. Doesn't matter if he's Darth Plagueis or not just to pander to Prequel lovers. He's still a waste of an excuse for a "character" to explain why Emo Ren is emo. Whatever they show of his true form won't matter since we already got Palpatine before, but considering the political responses and stances Lucasfilm was parading lately, they could turn Snoke's true visage into a Trump lookalike to express their political "message" and make him into a "space Hitler with alternative beliefs to kill all non-Force users across the Galaxy" or some desperate shit.

On a sidenote, it seems Mark Hamill doesn't like the direction they're taking the new story and dislikes how they're treating his character, not like it matters since the fanatics will still throw money at the screen and Lucasfilm/Disney will be making billions of shekels anyway no matter how bad the story may be, so actor input be damned. Rian Johnson may be a good writer, but if he really had to rewrite an extensive amount of TLJ's plot due to it being initially very different from how it continued on from TFA, it lends credence to how messy it might be. It also hints at how Lucasfilm stated that they supposedly had "no plans for continuity after TFA unless it became a financial success", to which it obviously did because it's Star Wars in name & a rehash of the original, but it also meant that anything that came after will be made up shit that'll be rewritten to match what TFA brought to the table. Poor planning in a nutshell, but a money attractor nonetheless.

Am I the only one already sicker of Star Wars than capeshit? I'd be happy to never hear about the franchise ever again.

You're​ not alone, but we'll be getting more of this garbage for the next 30+ years, so buckle up and pray for a Hollywood crash. Geek culture tends to be a cancerous growth that infests and infects all forms of fiction, and they'll be more than happy to suck Disney's cock for the next 30 just as they did Lucas' for the last 40. Can hardly wait to see a film about the origins of Jabba's crime cartel or the biography of a gonk droid's life in the style of WALL-E or some other trivial shit.

[Seele]

Am I the only one already sicker of Star Wars than capeshit? I'd be happy to never hear about the franchise ever again.

Nope and Yep.

Hollywood just HAD to take it and fuck up a perfectly fine and fun trilogy about space wizards and lasers and mix in all this identity polidick bullshit.

It was already buttfucked from the retardation of the Prequels alone. These Disney acquisitioned films are just beating a dead horse at this point, but with le feminist & globalist agendas attached because current decade.

[Taco Jim]

Somebody mentioned set reports that claim Ridley was walking around with a prosthetic left arm wound (ie, she gets her arm cut off in the climactic battle). Judging by that, I'm assuming Ren gives her the "Luke is your father" speech, presumably after Luke is already dead or captured. It's the only solution that makes sense. She's basically Anakin (great pilot, able to fix anything, and super powerful). The reincarnation thing is just too stupid. You don't die, go to Jedi heaven, then 30 years later get reborn as an autistic waif. That's not how it works.

Or she's a clone of Luke. Same thing, I guess. Boba is Jango's "son" after all.