Movie Thread

[Guest]

Rather telling what a piece of shit the film is that they don't even want to release it on streaming

They'll have no choice if they want to recoup any of their box office. Even by November theaters are still going to be ghost towns. I'm going to laugh if they delay it again.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

The film will probably end with female 007 dying and Bond being reinstated.

[CuckTurdginson]

I thought the white dude from Saw was the new killer. Did they bother mentioning what happened to him?

No, its Chris Rock's partner now. He's killing cops because >muh police brutality and its so poorly executed.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Does he have a torture porn machine that kneels on people?

[CuckTurdginson]

No, you'd think there would've been, right?

[Rushy]

Instead he's treated like a clown and replaced by a strong black woman who don't need no man.

Goddammit Rushy.

He IS a clown. Craig's Bond has gone rogue in literally every single film. At this point, Moneypenny would probably be a more efficient secret agent.
Besides, he quit his job in the last one, so no shit were they going to get somebody else. And it would be a pretty dull dynamic for a movie if they just got another guy who looks and acts exactly like Bond, but isn't Bond.

[Guest]

How was the latest episode of Batwoman, Rushy?

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

It's also ridiculous to assume that the black chick will die so that Bond can take the 007 callsign back from her. That'd be colonialism all over again.

[Guest]

We already discussed spoilers on here like a year ago: Bond is in retirement when his wife is killed. They have a young daughter. He returns to MI6 to find the guy who did it, finds out his wife isn't really dead but is hiding some deep secret about her real identity. Rami Malek's villain is actually Dr. No and he's Blofeld's son. Bond tracks them down with the help of Mo'Nique 007 and spicy Latina, kills bad guys, goes back into retirement to raise his daughter while Mo'Nique remains 007. If they need him, they know where to find him.

That was the version before the wuflu shut everything down. They reshot part of the movie because Malek's character unleashed a virus that was going to kill the world or something and China got pissed. No idea what else they changed, but the director made certain to let everyone know that the woke shit wasn't touched. Bond is still a white clown who isn't even the main character in the movie. Rushy will be happy to know that.



The mission that changes everything begins. (Note how the women handle most of the action.)

[Guest]

Again, very telling that they don't even want to put it on streaming. When this thing finally drops it's going to be like dogshit on a sidewalk