Movie Thread

[Kugelfisch]

It helps that by now you can unironically claim it to be a better song than most of what they made in the following years.

It's like going to the hospital with a broken leg and seeing a dude that had his lower jaw removed due to cancer. You hobble home and eat a ham sandwich with a totally new sense of greatfulness.

[Guest]

I think III was the last movie to have a theme song (that god awful Kanye shit).

Mission Impossible is like Fast & Furious now: just a mishmash of garbage you forget the moment you see it.

[Guest]

https://screenrant.com/no-time-die-mone ... ie-harris/

With rumors abound Bond might be gender-swapped in the future, a spinoff featuring Harris’ Moneypenny as the lead would be a good way to test the waters and, perhaps, convince Bond’s more conservative fans that women can (and should) amount to more than simple eye-candy in an action-packed spy narrative. It would appear director Barry Jenkins agrees with this sentiment, having discussed a potential Moneypenny spinoff with Harris on the set of 2016’s Oscar-winning Moonlight. That said, Bond producer Barbara Broccoli didn’t seem particularly interested in the concept, but - as Harris later told the hosts of Good Morning America in 2019 - “the conversation has started at least”.

This is what the world has come to, a possible Black Moneypenny movie from a black director and I'm sure a bunch of fucking racists. Ian Fleming is spinning so hard in his grave he's going to drill straight through to China.

The idea of a Bond spinoff isn’t particularly new, with various attempts being made throughout the years - including pitches focusing on Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh) from Tomorrow Never Dies or Giacinta “Jinx” Johnson (Halle Berry) from 2002’s Die Another Day. Unfortunately, none of these potential spinoffs amounted to anything in the end, rejected on rather questionable grounds which implied a woman of color couldn’t possibly lead a hit action movie. Nowadays, the market (and studios) seem more receptive to female-driven genre films - provided, at least, they’re part of a well-known franchise.

RACISM.

Yeah, it couldn't be that Wai Lin was a boring-ass character, and everyone hated Jinx and her stupid Yo Mamma jokes. (Her name is Giacinta? WTF.) The producers also talked about bringing back Camille Montes from Quantum of Solace until everyone on the planet lost their damn mind and started demanding robot sharks and moon bases.

You know, my problem with the whole blackwashing of characters isn't that they are black, it's that they are so fucking goddamn ugly, like the new black 007. The halfu playing Jill in the new Resident Evil movie is actually cute and fappable, so that's not the worst casting. Fucking women ruin everything. Bond is dead and gone and will never recover thanks to Barbara Broccolli.

In other news, MGM is possibly going to be bought by Amazon for $9 billion. What that means for Bond, I don't know. The studio wasn't involved with the Craig movies, and I'm pretty sure EON owns all the rights to the old movies.

Robocop will be owned by Amazon, though, so get read for some riveting race-swapped, troon-filled adventures in New Detroit!

[Guest]

You know, my problem with the whole blackwashing of characters isn't that they are black

That's exactly my problem with them. The fact that they get the ugliest niggers you've ever seen to play them is, in my opinion, incidental

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

The idea of a Bond spinoff isn’t particularly new, with various attempts being made throughout the years - including pitches focusing on Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh) from Tomorrow Never Dies or Giacinta “Jinx” Johnson (Halle Berry) from 2002’s Die Another Day. Unfortunately, none of these potential spinoffs amounted to anything in the end, rejected on rather questionable grounds which implied a woman of color couldn’t possibly lead a hit action movie. Nowadays, the market (and studios) seem more receptive to female-driven genre films - provided, at least, they’re part of a well-known franchise.

People might keep getting ideas about making a Bond spin-off, but they're not gonna happen. People want Bond movies, not Bond-adjacent movies. You're never going to make a Bond Cinematic Universe happen.

Ironically, the reason they can even call this sex-racist (is that even a word?) in the first place is because those oh-so sexist/racist Bond movies have greatly amped up the diversity of Bond Girls. But apparently that's no longer good enough. Every female character needs her own movie now, apparently.

[Guest]

Fleming even sort of did the idea himself. The Spy Who Loved Me is told in the first person, through the perspective of the Bond girl and Bond himself only shows up about 3/4 of the way through. It's not really a spy thriller, basically the girl recounts the events in her life that lead her to managing a motel when two gangsters show up to rob the motel or whatever and then Bond shows up, kills the gangsters, fucks the girl and then fucks off.

Guess what? Everyone hated it. The criticisms were basically 'where's Bond' and 'why are we reading a first person kitchen sink realism story about the Bond girl instead of the usual spy thriller about espionage and world domination'.

If Fleming couldn't make the idea interesting then the hacks in Hollywood have no chance.

[Guest]

You know, my problem with the whole blackwashing of characters isn't that they are black

That's exactly my problem with them. The fact that they get the ugliest niggers you've ever seen to play them is, in my opinion, incidental

I dunno. I would watch the fuck out of a Stacey Dash FemBond movie.

Dick in one hand, remote in the other.

[Guest]

I dunno. I would watch the fuck out of a Stacey Dash FemBond movie.

I mean, I wouldn't watch it but I probably would download the good parts.

I'd suppose I'd view it like Star Trek Into Darkness. On the one hand, I deeply resent the young metrosexual cast dressing up pretending to be Star Trek. On the other hand, Alice Eve's tits and tummy were very hot and the scene was most definitely worth a fap.

[Guest]

JJ Abrams could have been a decent genre director had ChinaWood not decided to anoint him the Chosen One. He's a terrible writer who thinks he's much smarter than he actually is, but Into Darkness was well-directed and was a major step up from the shaky-cam fest of the previous movie.

[Guest]

He's a terrible writer who thinks he's much smarter than he actually is

Does he? I mean. he more-or-less admitted that Star Trek was too smart for him, which is why he plebbed it up massively.

I suppose he's a technically proficient director but he's such a shitty hack otherwise and has so little knowledge of good story or good story-telling that I really can't bring myself to call Into Lens Flare 'well-directed'.