Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Talk about the life consuming, celibacy inducing hobby that is all the rage these days.
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wulfenlord
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by wulfenlord » Thu Sep 30, 2021 11:45 am

sigh
Frustrated rant incoming...

I said it once and I'll say it again - every pastime that is enjoyable is worth gatekeeping. This year has seen a massive influx of nignogs, trannies, & other neurodiverse spastics ruining the hobby of Roleplaying, be it tabletop or p&p. My usage of the word gatekeeping does not entail "keep out of my secret clubhouse", because roleplaying games were always about welcoming any social outcasts, rather its about "keep your dick and/or mental illness out of my secret clubhouse" - a simple request, which, those subhumans just won't do, as they are wont to do...

One of the 2 worst things about it is, that not even the "Get woke etc."-mantra is working, because they are actually getting funded. The other gripe I have is that noone is actually combating those mentally deranged fucks - now, this is mostly the fault of nerds in being too welcoming in general (see Speedrunning, which is now 1/3 Troons). This is a massive mistake, and, looking up to my first point - if you don't protect the hobbies you love, they will get overrun by the current year loons. And once they have infiltrated, they will not leave, or rather force others out that don't adhere to their codices of mental gymnastics:
"How dare you use the wrong pronouns when addressing my wheelchair-bound dwarfen genderfluid mage! GM, I file an official complaint to have this racist/classist/sexist players level capped!"

Now you could say "There there my little Nazi sperg, you play your Dungeons & Goblins, and let others play their Dragons & Moblins, so if you are not actively interacting, noone's being hurt by that" - No, fuck you! The whole industry is being hurt by it, as:

- more and more retards look at the hobby and, finding that they are being welcomed by other freaks and seeing that they can play as a multigendered otherkin pedofile in the newest "Personalized Fetish - the RPG" they will join the hobby, thinking that their little fetish is being welcomed
- the big publishers want to appease the retarded vocal minorites
- whenever there is a crime/drama being uncovered (more on that later), the media/press will never say "Oh, some tranny who posed as a roleplayer acted antisocial at an event", but rather "Roleplayer literally raped another player at a convention - is roleplaying dangerous for your kids? (*no literal rape happened as it was in-game)

Now I said my piece about how and why I find this alarming, both in itself & in general, and to prove that I am not shitting you (and what tipped me over the edge) here is just an excerpt - of the successful funding campaigns, of this year only:

Cities of Myth: Atlantis Divided
"is a 5e compatible system that immerses players in the ancient myths and cultures they love, while updating them with 21st-century representation and renewed narrative. "
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"Artwork of an LGBTQ+ wizard couple working together to recreate historical events. (Human School of Technomancy Wizard - she/her, Elf School of Times Past Wizard - She/They)"
- asking for 4k$, received 7700$

Demiverse: A Campaign Setting for 5e & Those Who Wander
"Everything was going more or less as it had for millions of millennia when suddenly the unthinkable happened. The multiverse, uh, kinda exploded. The fractured realities were sent hurtling (fifth-dimensionally) sometimes combining and reforming in a dizzying number of ways.

Once the dust settled, all that remained were demiplanes, strange fragments of reality the largest of which are only a few thousand square miles and the smallest of which is reported to be a five-foot dungeon tile, if you can believe it.

There's plenty to see and do on any one demiplane alone. And each would be completely isolated from the others if not for interplanar gates scattered among them. Those foolhardy enough to travel widely throughout the demiverse will find marvels and dangers in abundance, enough to rival your dreams and fuel your nightmares. One thing such intrepid people would never lack is adventure!"


Now, "That reads strange, but interesting!" I hear you ask - Oh, you, that don't see the horrors I have seen, you are forgiven. Once you have eyes that see you will realize, that just the title, "Demiverse" will strike you as ~ off. Why would you name a roleplaying campaign after something that could be associated with, oh I don't know, demisexual? (Granted, you could also chip in Demigod, but let's see who is right, won't we?)
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When creating a whole new multiverse, diversity of perspective and experience is a huge boon. We've assembled an incredibly diverse team of 50 writers. Let's fund each one's demiplane!

72% Women or Nonbinary
78% LGBTQA+
62% People of Color or Ethnic Minorities
26% Physically Disabled
42% Neurodiverse
Now, that was fun, wasn't it? Ready for more? :3
- BTW, the asking goal of 6k$ has already been reached, with 21 days of the campaign still remaining

Coyote & Crow the Role Playing Game
"is a tabletop role playing game set in an alternate future of the Americas where colonization never occurred. Instead, advanced civilizations arose over hundreds of years after a massive climate disaster changed the history of the planet. You'll play as adventurers starting out in the city of Cahokia, a bustling, diverse metropolis along the Mississippi River. It's a world of science and spirituality where the future of technology and legends of the past will collide. "

And, who would've thunk:
We have a diverse team of folks working on this game, most of whom are Native. Additionally, we are striving to bring in other marginalized voices whenever possible. Our team features people from across the LGBTQIA spectrum, including two spirit folks. It's not even a question that this game is political. If you have a problem with a game where there are no people of European descent represented, than this game is probably not for you.
- Fucking Raked In 1 MILLION $

Fat Magic - inspired by PushinUpTiddies
" is a 5e campaign set in a world saturated by delicious and dangerous food magic. It’s packed with more than 250 pages of terrible food puns, off-the-wall culinary adventure, and more kissable hotties than you can shake a carbonated beverage at."
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- Those fucking faggots (scroll down the KS page at your own risk) received 40k$, after asking for 20k.

Rat Queens: To the Slaughter
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Look at this shit. Just look at it. And they got 340.000!

Cursed Captains of Cthulhu
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I know, I just know, simply by looking at the teaser image with a swashbuckling pirate negress, that this shitty game will be woke up the ass. And, wouldn't you know, scrolling to the last third of the campaign page, to see who is responsible for this Lovecraftian cash grab, the made-up pronouns start amassing. Of course, invoking Kufulus name means they got some 30k$

The Bard Chronicles: A Dungeons and Dragons Rap Album
- Nigger stealing 10k$ from Kikestarter sycophants
"I see D&D as a really big, really important part of my life. I grew up black and "gifted" in an area where there weren't a lot of other people like me. We'll go with "a lot of the other kids' parents didn't like me and I didn't know why" - you get it. "
Wow, even the whitest and dorkiest of niggers is still using the race card to beg for money. "I grew up black". Wow. Imagine any white person typing this as an opener.

Which leads us to...

Into the Mother Lands - An Original Afrofuturist TTRPG
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YES! Finally, I can be rid of my white guilt! I want to be pegged by an anthro-hyenas clit while getting all the BBC in my mouth I can fit!
This Star Drek/Wakanda Slashfic raked in 340.000$ also.

Monsters of Murka: Chromatic Gamut
Want your eyes raped? I know you do:
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If that is not enough for you, how about a fRiEnDlY disclaimer aimed at anyone who dares bring homophobia:
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So, those ultra-faggots got 37k$ for their "work".

Dreampunk: a surreal TTRPG
"A player-driven tabletop roleplaying game about shaping and confronting a strange dreamworld, played using surreal art cards. "

Another case of "So what? Where's the mental illness at? This looks totally normal" - Call it intuition, call it a curse, but sure enough, the author reveals itself/manyself:
I'm Xavid (they/them), a plural genderqueer game designer and software engineer. I've written award-winning LARPs and interactive fiction and have been hacking on tabletop RPGs for over a decade. I previously successfully Kickstarted an annotated translation of a 17th-century book of Japanese heraldry. (Voice, eat your heart out).

SHASN: AZADI - What Will Freedom Cost?
"Ignite the Revolution. Topple the Imperials. Emerge as the leader of your nation. A semi-coop retelling of rebellion through the ages."

I didn't delve into it, but the title alone reeks of either Derka Derka Muhammejihad! or Marxist propaganda

Also, there are the sandnigger/Injun creators:
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Flabbergasted! A comedic tabletop RPG
"set in the roaring 20s! Join a social club & get up to mischief & mayhem - all before your afternoon tea!"

>Roaring 20's
>Successful Nigger PCs

Checks out

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SPECIAL BONUS:
The drama I was mentioning before the FailStarter Roundup. When you let a faggot like this
SpoilerShow
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run as GM, you know your player characters get raped sooner or later. Pretty sure a guy like this also diddles kids. If you were impartial until now, hopefully you can understand how drama like this can affect the gaming hobby as a whole.
Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl muh'fugen bix nood

Whenever you feel down :3
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Le Redditeur
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Le Redditeur » Thu Sep 30, 2021 11:55 am

You see, WotC tried to steer the ship back with 4th Editions OGL, which was much more restrictive in what authors could and could not do. But no one, except for me and Spooky (!), ever shed a tear for 4th Edition. One of the reasons was that those assholes wanted the SRD and "creative freedom" "back to the community". Well, you get what you fucking deserve.

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Kugelfisch
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Kugelfisch » Thu Sep 30, 2021 1:10 pm

It's all just money laundering. Nobody actually ever plays that shit.
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Cannons bray, the mighty quake!
Centuries of blood becomes erased!
I am the white ghost!

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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Thu Sep 30, 2021 4:15 pm

Pretty much. They're all just in for the Kickstarter money. And virtue signaling of course, what with them going all "query this", "diverse that", "death to TERFs" and such which hasn't (or rather should'nt) have all that much to do with the actual game.
They're not gonna sell a lot of physical or digital copies afterwards (outside of the obligatory itch.io bundle thingie), especially not since the next queer RPG is just around the corner - written by an even more diverse team, and featuring an even more confrontational "NO TERFS AND NAZIS ALLOWED" box!
Plus this whole deal reminds me a bit of the OGL shovelware craze back when D&D 3.X was still around. At least 95% of that shit is dead and forgotten.

Before replying to wulfenlord's post in detail, I can summarize everything with this oddly prophetic webcomic page:
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wulfenlord wrote:
Thu Sep 30, 2021 11:45 am
Fat Magic - inspired by PushinUpTiddies
" is a 5e campaign set in a world saturated by delicious and dangerous food magic. It’s packed with more than 250 pages of terrible food puns, off-the-wall culinary adventure, and more kissable hotties than you can shake a carbonated beverage at."
Image
- Those fucking faggots (scroll down the KS page at your own risk) received 40k$, after asking for 20k.
I see the next Extreme Meatpunks Forever has already arrived. Also look at this shit from the Kickstarter page:
SpoilerShow
Image

Two weird non-humans of undeterminable gender and/or sex having a date, ideally with one of them being shy. That's like bog-standard tumblr queershit filler art that should serve as your final warning sign to close the book ASAP.
Cursed Captains of Cthulhu
Image
I know, I just know, simply by looking at the teaser image with a swashbuckling pirate negress, that this shitty game will be woke up the ass. And, wouldn't you know, scrolling to the last third of the campaign page, to see who is responsible for this Lovecraftian cash grab, the made-up pronouns start amassing. Of course, invoking Kufulus name means they got some 30k$
Bold move to make a Lovecraftion RPG these days. No wonder they didn't get too high above their goal.
Remember Evil Hat Productions? Who made the Thirsty Sword Lesbians Kickstart that made around 300k? Their previous Kickstarter for Fate of Cthulhu made under 100k instead, and cost them a lot of goodwill from both sides that would cause them to double-down with those lesbians.
What went wrong? Well, they effectively marketed the game by going "Lovecraft was a vile racist pig! Please buy our product based on his work!". It was also easily the worst Lovecraft RPG on the market at the time, using oddly little of the Mythos at all, like say completely ignoring the Great Race of Yith and the Hounds of Tindalos in a Cthulhu game all about time travel.
Why the time travel? This game was originally supposed to be a Terminator game, but they couldn't get the license and instead borrowed from everyone's favorite public domain content :roll:
Flabbergasted! A comedic tabletop RPG
"set in the roaring 20s! Join a social club & get up to mischief & mayhem - all before your afternoon tea!"

>Roaring 20's
>Successful Nigger PCs

Checks out
That's what makes it a comedy!
SPECIAL BONUS:
The drama I was mentioning before the FailStarter Roundup. When you let a faggot like this
SpoilerShow
Image
run as GM, you know your player characters get raped sooner or later. Pretty sure a guy like this also diddles kids. If you were impartial until now, hopefully you can understand how drama like this can affect the gaming hobby as a whole.
>making your players roll Save vs Rape during a public podcast
Could've been worse. At least they played Stars Without Number instead of Starfinder.
Also relevant:
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For those that cannot watch, most of the statement revolves around the show not having ‘Safety Tools’ in place. RPG Safety tools have become a lot more prevalent, with many people using tools like the X-Card or Lines and Veils, or the Checklist included in Monte Cook Games’ Consent in Gaming, which we’ve covered before. But many people have pointed out that the presence or absence of safety tools isn’t at the heart of the issue–had they been in place there’s no guarantee the players could have used them.
All the "safety tools" in the world can't help you if you GM is a degenerate fuck.
Unless one of those tools is a taser I guess. Or a gun.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Guest » Thu Sep 30, 2021 4:56 pm

D&D was invented by UCB professors and their commie friend. The major RPG companies were all founded in Seattle. The current state of the hobby should not be a surprise.

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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Thu Sep 30, 2021 5:40 pm

You say that, but Gary is considered a vile racist in certain communities because orcs are totally supposed to be black people.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Guest » Thu Sep 30, 2021 5:56 pm

I was talking about Dave. Gary was a fucking thief.

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Complicity
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Complicity » Thu Sep 30, 2021 8:27 pm

That woke garbage gets funded, but doesn't sell.
And that's probably the point; those grifters make money through the kikestarter, not through sales.
Their shit costs pennies to produce and distribute, and they grift woke idiots with the right talking points like "no fascists and bigots allowed".
And then "thirst lesbian swords" or whatever the fuck ends up gathering dust on store shelves and in the basements of said woke idiots, because they have no friends to play with.
Last edited by Complicity on Fri Oct 01, 2021 2:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Thu Sep 30, 2021 8:31 pm

I don't think a gaming store that offers these games is worth visiting in the first place. Plus this business is niche enough even if you offer nothing but D&D and Warhammer. Oh, and Magic of course if you want to even think about breaking even.
Guest wrote:
Thu Sep 30, 2021 5:56 pm
I was talking about Dave. Gary was a fucking thief.
At least he stuck to his guns with his autistic focus on Blackmoor.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Guest » Fri Oct 01, 2021 1:29 am

wulfenlord wrote:
Thu Sep 30, 2021 11:45 am
All That faggorty!
Friendly reminder to fathers everywhere you are obligated beat your children. That ugly motherfucker with the pink hear and manly pedo beard is prime example when you neglect your Civic duty!

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