Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Put on your best soyface, 'cause Lego will bless us with its first ever official D&D set

But how much does it cost?Show

350 fucking Dollars

[Kugelfisch]

*laughs in Held der Steine*

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

D&D's Fumbled Marketing Check
WotC really knows how to sell this shiny new Anniversary Edition.
First it got pushed back to the final quarter of the fabled anniversary year (with the final book only coming out the year after), and now they outright admit It's not even a new edition (Warning: The formatting on this archive is a bit effed)

The game is doing better and better and better. So we're not at a point in the life in Fifth Edition where we feel like, OK, the fans are telling us this is not the game for them. They're not saying that. They're saying 'we love Fifth Edition.' So then the question is, how can we make your Fifth Edition games better?

So the legend goes that there is no need for a real 6th edition because the fans just wuv 5e.
They must've really bet a lot on their upcoming subscription model, 'cause actual book sales haven't been good in a while. And it's not hard to tell why: They've effectively released anything under 5e that there is to release. All the campaign settings not deemed to problematic have already gotten the 5e treatment (all of them gutted to be a shallow husk of their former selves, btw), and now they're left with terrible diversity anthologies and books about autistic Paladins.

Speaking frankly, [and] this is my own personal opinion, 12 classes is actually a lot," Perkins says. "If I were redesigning, if I could go back to 2012 to when we were talking about fifth edition for the first time, I would probably put a strong case forward that we could actually do with less classes in the core game.

If only D&D had ever released an edition that was simpler. More basic, if you will.

And then there's the gaslighting.

In things like the Unearthed Arcana [playtests], we will sometimes put things in the articles that we know probably won't fly, that the community will push back on because they're not ready for it or they don't think it's right for the game that they want to play. We do that because we have to know, and that's the only way we can really know

Bitcherino, no one bothers with Unearthed Arcana because it's poorly thought out shit that's either over- or underpowered.

Dino Sex RPG
It was bound to happen.

You may have heard of the works of Dr. Chuck Tingle

An excerpt of Dr. Chuck Tingle's bibliographyShow

• Helicopter Man Pounds Dinosaur Billionaire Ass
• My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass
• Taken By The Gay Unicorn Biker
• I'm Gay For My Living Billionaire Jet Plane
• Space Raptor Butt Invasion
• Pokebutt Go: Pounded By 'Em All
• Slammed In The Butthole By My Concept Of Linear Time
• Pounded In The Butt By My Handsome Sentient Library Card Who Seems Otherworldly But In Reality Is Just A Natural Part Of The Priceless Resources Our Library System Provides

Sign me the fuck up!

[Kugelfisch]

Sounds like Chuck Tingle is the gay lovechild of Francis E. Dec and Viper.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

It comes with little shock to me that someone over at itch.io did a Bundle to support Hamas Palestine.

Sadly there's nothing specific to the Palestine theme, just your usual suspects (minus Lancer for some reason, but don't worry there's plenty of third-party lancershit in here) and the expected metric fuckload of shovelware that will clutter up itch.io's poorly-designed library.
Probably the biggest contributors are Wanderhome (some boring anthroshit that's at least Apocalypse-World-inspired) and just about everything by makapatag (which is just some Philipino dude making Philipino weebshit RPGs where he can rant about the British or something; also a very World-of-Darkness-like obsession with stupid proper nouns because he loves to fill the rules and glossary with weird Philipino terms).

Strangely absent is also Sigmata, the "gold standard" in "ethical terrorism".
Then again the spiritual successor "Bombs and Balaclavas" is free

[Kugelfisch]

>cyberpunk
>1980s america
So you're saying that under Fascist control we'd have had cybernetic implants in the era of the Walkman?
Funny how tankies only ever make Fascism sound awesome.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

It's probably like in those recent Wolfenstein games where all the Nazi mad science is actually ancient Jewish super tech.

[wulfenlord]

Put on your best soyface, 'cause Lego will bless us with its first ever official D&D set

But how much does it cost?Show

350 fucking Dollars

I still don't get how Hasbro selectively forgot about their own Lego brand, guess snorting coke off Danish hookers has to be a corporate delicacy.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

The End Times approach for 40k

The Adeptus Custodes (aka the God-Emperor's bodyguards for the less autistic) have become a playable army in recent times, mostly because of the prequel spinoff Horus Heresy (which is set back when they were still active combatants) and some metaplot changes in the setting's "present" that has forced them to do more than just protect the Golden Throne.
Also as it turns out some of them are girls, as unlike with the Space Marines the lore has apparently never explicitly confirmed that they can only be dudes

If they wanted to score woke points with this I doubt they will have much success. No one cares about female Custodes while they still insist that the Space Marines can only be male. That's what keeps pissing off SJWs, and no amount of femininity in the other armies will work as a compensation.

The Tomb Raider RPG by Evil Fucking Hat

A while ago Evil Hat - aka the Thirsty Sword Lesbians guys - tried to acquire the Terminator license. Didn't work out in the end, so they just grabbed the ever-popular Cthulhu Mythos, wrote a page or so decrying Lovecraft, and salvaged what they've already done so far into Fate of Cthulhu (in case you are curious why a Cthulhu RPG has such a big focus on time travel).

Now they finally did acquire the rights for a big-ish IP, and it's Tomb Raider! What could pawsibly go wroang?!

In this officially licensed tabletop RPG you play members of the Truth Seekers: contemporaries of Lara Croft who strive to reveal long-hidden knowledge and thwart those who would steal and exploit artifacts for their own gains. It is a game of action, exploration, and self-discovery. Face perilous challenges and tough choices as you learn what it takes to be a hero.

You play as ethical archeologists who protect the treasures of non-white civilization from evil grave robbers who are probably white and have problematic opinions about colonizations.
Aka it's the Tomb Raider RPG where you kill Tomb Raiders.

Naturally it uses "playbooks" instead of classes, so it's probably once again be based on Apocalypse World or their in-house Blades in the Dark.
I will never get over them abandoning their own Fate system. Mostly because they did so before they could ever realize the Fate Decolonization Toolkit. You have no idea how much I wanted this

Also take a look at the amazing cover:

Horrors Beyond Your ImaginationShow

So we have (going left to right based on the lineup on the right)

• Some kind of femme fatale with a glowing amulet who is probably an OC / self-insert. Maybe also a troon. Who knows.
• The only dude on the cover. Ethnic and masculine, but both displayed in a non-threatening way, of course. Probably gay, because the only way you can be jacked and a good guy is if you're a "bear".
• A vaguely-ethnic person with face-paint who is almost definitely a troon.
• Standard-issue sassy fat black chick with a DreamWorks smirk. Appears to have lost her feet to the beetus.

[Kugelfisch]

Ah yes, look at how small they made Lara's tits. Why are these absolute sex pests that think and talk about nothing but fucking so bothered by a woman with a busty chest?