Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Tue Aug 17, 2021 10:26 am

So I decided to finally make a thread about gaming for true gentlemen, with paper, dice and loads of plastic men, to further diversify our esteemed forum. I'll try to stick to topics that might be interesting for a general audience that likes a good kek or two.

Games Workshop Strikes Again

For those of you who don't know, GW is the company behind Warhammer (be it Fantasy or 40k. Also Age of Sigmar I guess.). They're kinda the EA of the wargaming world, with questionable business practices, toxic customer relations and plenty of blunders. I think my favorite one is that they have decided to not mention the writers of their books anywhere, out of fear that it might hurt sales to attach one of their many infamous writers (all legendary in their ability to fuck up both fluff and rules) to one of their new products.

They've tried to be a bit nicer in the past years, but it has all come crashing down once again.
Basically they have decided to enter the streaming market, no doubt to further milk their audience. Unfortunately this would put them in direct competition to many creators of fan animation (which they have mostly ignored in the past thanks to the free publicity they produce). So now the fan animation has to go.
To make this even better, they have effectively forced fan animators to either take the knee and produce content for their new service (effectively hiding once free content behind a paywall), or to take a C&D up the arse.

Thankfully there are still mirrors around. For now.


The fanbase ain't exactly taking this lightly, and some animators have protested in their own way. The bloke behind the popular If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device for example has put his series on an indefinite hiatus.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Kugelfisch » Tue Aug 17, 2021 12:15 pm

After Age of Shitmar I can't be surprised about terrible decisions by GW anymore. Axing Fantasy was already dumb on its own. Doing so right when it reached a new height of popularity thanks to the Total War games is just tonedeaf.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Guest » Tue Aug 17, 2021 5:59 pm

They're also on a C&D spree with 3D printers/modellers, although they're too cowardly to threaten anyone who might actually fight back.

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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Tue Aug 17, 2021 6:12 pm

3D printers are surely their worst fucking nightmare.
That, and Tabletop Simulator.
Kugelfisch wrote:
Tue Aug 17, 2021 12:15 pm
After Age of Shitmar I can't be surprised about terrible decisions by GW anymore. Axing Fantasy was already dumb on its own. Doing so right when it reached a new height of popularity thanks to the Total War games is just tonedeaf.
The End Times started around 2014, and Age of Smegma came out in 2015, a full year before the first Total Warhammer. Not sure if they had any way to gauge interest in the games back then.
It's also possible Creative Assembly was able to make the most extensive vidja adaptation yet specifically because GW no longer had interest in the setting.

They've since tried a bit of course correction by announcing The Old World, set even earlier in the timeline than Warhammer Fantasy ever was. No idea when this will actually come out, though. They've been pretty slow in terms of news.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Kugelfisch » Tue Aug 17, 2021 6:15 pm

Either way, AoS is a terrible mess.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by wulfenlord » Tue Aug 17, 2021 6:23 pm

Kugelfisch wrote:
Tue Aug 17, 2021 12:15 pm
After Age of Shitmar I can't be surprised about terrible decisions by GW anymore. Axing Fantasy was already dumb on its own. Doing so right when it reached a new height of popularity thanks to the Total War games is just tonedeaf.
Don't worry Kugel, the suits in Nottingham see that there is $$$ to be made, they will milk Warhammer Fantasy using the Classic Coke stunt. Hope you haven't thrown out all your square bases :3

Though a couple of years late to the party (with pen&paper RPGs and videogames coming beforehand) GW is a prime example why hobbies should be worth gatekeeping. For some years the woke & tranny crowds are thriving & assimilating the wargaming hobby. While in 2017, GW still told PETA in a roundabout way "it's only a game, go fuck yourself", three years later it is the crowd not cow-towing to the die-vörr-city mob that will not be missed.

Meh, since Cavatore & Chambers are gone, the only remaining husk of oldschool nerds are Kelly & Goodwin* anyway. I'm sticking with 6th ed. Fantasy Battles & 4th ed. 40K, thankyouverymuch.
VoiceOfReasonPast wrote:
Tue Aug 17, 2021 10:26 am
So I decided to finally make a thread about gaming for true gentlemen, with paper, dice and loads of plastic men, to further diversify our esteemed forum. I'll try to stick to topics that might be interesting for a general audience that likes a good kek or two.
Very good. Truely a gentlemanly sport
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I think my favorite one is that they have decided to not mention the writers of their books anywhere, out of fear that it might hurt sales to attach one of their many infamous writers (all legendary in their ability to fuck up both fluff and rules) to one of their new products.
Wasn't that the curse of the Ward?

*edit: turns out I was completely wrong even with their oldschool staff, but seeing as they don't feature prominently anymore anyways... Thorpe & Priestley fled 2009 - the Perry twins & even Matt Ward left in 2014, and to top it of Jervis Johnson left for good this July.
Last edited by wulfenlord on Wed Oct 06, 2021 4:58 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Tue Aug 17, 2021 6:28 pm

I can also recommend the Warhammer Armies Project, which is a fanmade 9th edition of WFB, featuring armies that GW has stopped supporting long ago (Amazons, Dogs of War, Chaos Dwarves) and armies that have only ever been mentioned in fluff (like Cathay aka Not-China, Albion aka Not-Scotland, and Nippon aka Nippon).

The heroes the guy behind the project made up for these new armies are dumb in an awesome way: Albion has Not-Highlander, Ind has Not-Mowgli, Araby has Not-Jafar, and Cathay has heroes who are totally not based on Three Kingdoms.
wulfenlord wrote:
Tue Aug 17, 2021 6:23 pm
Wasn't that the curse of the Ward?
Indeed. He's not the only shitty writer, but definitely one of the most notorious ones.
Kugelfisch wrote:
Tue Aug 17, 2021 6:15 pm
Either way, AoS is a terrible mess.
And 40k might go that way next. They've rewritten the rules in the last edition, but they already seem to have managed to break the fuck out of it in the current edition.

They also came up with some retarded new plot about Primaris Marines, aka Super Spess Mehreens - because if there's one thing 40k was lacking, it was more Spess Mehreen units.
There was - and maybe still is - real concern that GW might be planning to axe the regular Mehreens entirely, which would be the biggest dick move in GW history as it would render a good chunk of the existing 40k collections obsolete (half of the armies in 40k are just different Spess Mehreen chapters)

I'm also really curious how the SJWs will fuck up the setting even harder - especially considering that Spess Mehreens can only be male, and the only non-white ones are like that due to a genetic defect.
Oh, and hair of any kind is another genetic defect, so most of them are skinheads.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by wulfenlord » Tue Aug 17, 2021 6:55 pm

Not even their own Specialist Games brand is safe from their power creep of having to buy everything again the next generation. For eons, Bloodbowl has been a fun littly pastime, with rules that have been slightly tweaked, but essentially stayed the same for 30 years. Then, as to spit on Cavatore's perfection, they split up the passing ability from the agility stat and give it its own set of numbers (also re-defining tackle zones, but that's a minor gripe). It's like saying: "Dude! You know Chess? Why don't you try our new improved Chess 2.0! Now the pawns can move backwards! Totally radical! Of course you can use your old pieces. Just buy the rules seperately for a small fee.

Speaking of SJW infiltration, it's prevalent in other companies, too. A game I liked in its Prime:Remix edition back in the day has gone from full-on machismo to full-on "We stand for a game that everyone should enjoy free of harassment".
This is how it started around 2008:
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This is its current state:
https://home.privateerpress.com/harassment-policy/
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Wed Aug 18, 2021 3:23 pm

Shoul've played a real mech game.


Which reminds me: Did you know they've finally ended the Dork Age era forced upon them by WizKids?
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Kugelfisch » Wed Aug 18, 2021 7:25 pm

Nope. Do people actually still play current rules Battletech?
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