Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

[wulfenlord]

Unsure if to put this travesty into the "Woke, broke" thread, or if we have a buried thread, because Magecuck: the Jewening will literally go broke over this.
I simply love the facial expressions of the "content creatress" they put there, especially when the enthusiastic snake oil salesman brushes over the price BEFORE taxes at 3:25. It's like a porn actress that gets told she's gonna be in an ass-to-mouth gangbang for her first time, though she's probably familiar with that

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Magecuck: the Jewening will literally go broke over this.

Sounds almost too good to be true.
And the cherry on top is that you can't actually use these overpriced reprints because they have a non-standard card back (and that's before considering that stuff like dual-land cards are probably not tournament-legal to begin with).

Oh, and they also held an anniversary tournament-thingie where they demanded 350 bucks per ticket.
They eventually gave some away for free after effectively no one showed up.

[Le Redditeur]

They're not going under because of one jewed-up commemorative set. I'll believe when I see signs of their main line, Standard legal sets being expensive flops, and that will probably not be for a while since they're currently revisiting The Brothers War and bringing old, established characters from those old stories back. Only when they resume pushing storylines and cards centering around their pet niggers and genderfluid faggots that nobody else likes that they'll start bleeding money again.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

They can always make the old characters gay.
Or trans.

[Kugelfisch]

Just some predictable cash grab. Move along, nothing to see.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

We now bear the fruits of Wizards' grand keikaku.

So back when they launched the 5e version of their Spelljammer setting, they've gotten a bit of a shitstorm for turning monkey aliens that were supposedly racist caricatures of black people into more racist caricatures of black people. Almost like they wanted backlash or something.
Not any more, my friends. Not any more:

The studio’s new process mandates that every word, illustration, and map must be reviewed by multiple outside cultural consultants prior to publication.

A shadow cabal of SJWs will decide what you are allowed to put into your book.
That is until they fuck up as well and everything becomes even more Draconian.

While the D&D team is racially, ethnically, gender, and cognitively diverse, we don’t want our marginalized employees to be burdened with the task of reviewing content for cultural competency. That’s why we leverage the expertise of outside cultural consultants.

You could've just said that your actual employees are busy with more important shit. The way you write this just makes it sound weird, like as if you consider it only natural to keep pestering your Asian-American diversity hire with sensitivity questions about samurai.
And WTF is "cognitively diverse"? Is that the new phrase for "neurodiverse" aka "fucking retarded"?

The new inclusion-review process applies to not only products in development but also reprints. In other words, every reprint is an opportunity to conduct a new inclusion review on previously published content.

This isn't particularly new - several 5e products had entire paragraphs erased for "problematic content" - but bloody hell, I sure hope they won't to reprints of older edition books for the upcoming anniversary.

[ebin namefag]

While the D&D team is racially, ethnically, gender, and cognitively diverse

So that's why D&D sucks.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

5e has been on a downward spiral ever since they've fully succumbed to the woke, turning races into indistinct blobs and ruining one campaign setting after another.
6e will be one hell of a shitshow because of that, I'm certain of it.

[Kugelfisch]

Weird times. Dumbass faggots try to appease the worst of the worst non-functional retardsband thus create shit nobody can enjoy.
Office drones. They all should be executed violently.

[Le Redditeur]

They have no talent. Meanwhile needs can still develop homebrew gaming systems that are way better than whatever the fuck these talentless hacks do. I remember coming across some 4e homebrew rules that almost completely fixed its most glaring problems on top of introducing new interesting mechanics; at the same time, WotC was power-creeping and introducing math patches on feats so 90% of the optimized characters looked the same.