Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread
- VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread
Ah, Mettbrötchen, archdevil of gluttony!
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- Kugelfisch
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread
More like avatar of flavour! These foreigners will never understand. How mystifying it must be that raw, spiced and minced pork with onions could even be edible, let alone fantastic!
In the lands of plastic cheese and chlorine-showered chicken it has to sound crazy that any meat not charred to coal or treated with chemicals could be survivable!
Alas! The pinnacle of middle European culture, the Mettbrötchen, defies and surpasses all expectations!
By the way, fuck any bakery that thinks they are smart by putting slices of cucumber on it! Don't mess with perfection!
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- VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread
These fools can barely understand the wonders of Sauerkraut. No way in hell they will ever pierce the enigma of the Mett.
Kugelfisch wrote: ↑Fri Jan 24, 2025 11:29 pmBy the way, fuck any bakery that thinks they are smart by putting slices of cucumber on it!

Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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- VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread
Orcs - and likely other humanoids as well - have been removed from the new Monster Manual in favor of generic NPC statblocks.
Also what do you think Gruumsh's alignment is? It's not Chaotic Neutral, that's for sure.
Except D&D always had an implied setting. Everyone - including official settings - is perfectly free to change what orcs are supposed to be, but that doesn't change the fact that there is a default assumption.
And don't tell me that default assumption isn't important. There are a crapload of other orcoid/goblinoid critters in the first Monster Manual alone. You better throw me a bone and give me a good pitch for every one of them. Otherwise you just have weird humans with different skin and teeth.
And of course those statblocks had low CRs. They're just normal orc dudes. If you need high CR orcs, you're entering the realm of bespoke NPC builds (like with every type of humanoid).
Generic high-level NPC statblocks are gay and lame (outside of basically monsters like liches and vampires), since high-level characters in general aren't supposed to be all that common.
But let's stop being negative for a moment and think: How did others do this better?
Shadow of the Demon Lord
Orcs have a somewhat batshit backstory in the default setting (they were artificialy cobbled together from imprisoned giants to serve as the empire's shock troopers, and decided to rebel when they found out that Soylent Green was orc people), but that's not actually important for this discussion.
SotDL actually does have generic statblocks, just not for humanoids. More specifically, animals, demons and generic monsters get generic statblocks based on their size, though you are then of course customizing them with traits and shit.
In case of our plain orc statblock, you can customize it with role templates, or templates that simulate specific classes.
Plus orcs are actually playable, so you can just build one like a PC if you want.
Adventurer Conquerer King System II
Orcs are grouped together with the other klessik low-level evil humanoids (bugbears, gnolls, goblins, hobgoblins and kobolds) in the Beastmen category, each with their own niche.
Furthermore, you get plenty of tools to customize each and every individual tribe of orc (or other beastmen). Maybe they're particularly disciplined and crafty, and fabled for their cavalry. Or they're extra savage and bestial.
So they're gypsies now?Several months ago, would-be culture warriors complained about the depiction of orcs in the new Player's Handbook. Instead of depicting orcs as bloodthirsty marauders or creatures of evils, orcs (or more specifically, playable orcs) were depicted as a traveling species given endurance, determination, and the ability by their god Gruumsh to see in the darkness to help them "wander great plains, vast caverns, and churning seas."
Also what do you think Gruumsh's alignment is? It's not Chaotic Neutral, that's for sure.
"Oh, those dumb chuds. Always making a huge deal out of tiny, insignificant changes..."Keep in mind that one of the core facets of Dungeons & Dragons is that every game is defined by its players rather than an official canon, but some people were upset or annoyed about the shift in how a fictional species of humanoids were portrayed in two paragraphs of text and a piece of art in a 250+ page rulebook.
Except D&D always had an implied setting. Everyone - including official settings - is perfectly free to change what orcs are supposed to be, but that doesn't change the fact that there is a default assumption.
And don't tell me that default assumption isn't important. There are a crapload of other orcoid/goblinoid critters in the first Monster Manual alone. You better throw me a bone and give me a good pitch for every one of them. Otherwise you just have weird humans with different skin and teeth.
Man, can't wait to get my hands on this tome.The orcs are not the only creature to receive this treatment - drow are no longer in the Monster Manual, nor are duergar.
(It totally is, though.)However, much of this is due to a deliberate design choice, meant not to sanitize Dungeons & Dragons from evil sentient species...
Sure... but rather to add some versatility to a DM's toolbox.

But you could do all of that before. Nothing has ever forced DMs from only using those basic orc statblocks for every orc the PCs will ever encounter forever.Orcs (and drow) are now covered under the expanded set of generic NPC statblocks in the Monster Manual. Instead of players being limited to only three Orc-specific statblocks (the Orc, the Orc War Chief and the Orc Eye of Gruumsh), DMs can use any of the 45 Humanoid statblocks in the book. Campaigns can now feature orc assassins, orc cultists, orc gladiators, or orc warriors instead of leaning on a handful of stats that lean into specific D&D lore.
You could already have orc assassins and pirates. Nothing was ever stopping you.Personally, I generally like that the D&D design ethos is leaning away from highly specific statblocks to more generalized ones. Why wouldn't an orc be an assassin or a pirate? Why should orcs (or any other species chosen to be adversaries in a D&D campaign) be limited to a handful of low CR statblocks? The design shift allows DMs more versatility, not less.
And of course those statblocks had low CRs. They're just normal orc dudes. If you need high CR orcs, you're entering the realm of bespoke NPC builds (like with every type of humanoid).
Generic high-level NPC statblocks are gay and lame (outside of basically monsters like liches and vampires), since high-level characters in general aren't supposed to be all that common.
But orcs haven't really changed in all that time. Aside from looking less like pigs.As for the wider controversy surrounding orcs in D&D, the game and its lore is evolving over time, just as it has over the past 50 years.
But let's stop being negative for a moment and think: How did others do this better?
Shadow of the Demon Lord
Orcs have a somewhat batshit backstory in the default setting (they were artificialy cobbled together from imprisoned giants to serve as the empire's shock troopers, and decided to rebel when they found out that Soylent Green was orc people), but that's not actually important for this discussion.
SotDL actually does have generic statblocks, just not for humanoids. More specifically, animals, demons and generic monsters get generic statblocks based on their size, though you are then of course customizing them with traits and shit.
In case of our plain orc statblock, you can customize it with role templates, or templates that simulate specific classes.
Plus orcs are actually playable, so you can just build one like a PC if you want.
Adventurer Conquerer King System II
Orcs are grouped together with the other klessik low-level evil humanoids (bugbears, gnolls, goblins, hobgoblins and kobolds) in the Beastmen category, each with their own niche.
Furthermore, you get plenty of tools to customize each and every individual tribe of orc (or other beastmen). Maybe they're particularly disciplined and crafty, and fabled for their cavalry. Or they're extra savage and bestial.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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- wulfenlord
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread
Did'ya hear? The ministry of Truth just said they doubled the available monsters instead of taking half of them away. Doubleplusgood, comrade!
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- Old Black Man
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread
Gruumsh is a god of peace.
Vegan? Shit, I'll eat pork wrapped in beef with a side of turkey.
- wulfenlord
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread
Took one look at the cover and knew what the developer is about.
There better be braille books in there, shitlords!
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Smirk & Dagger Games supports racial and intersectional equity, and we strive every day to do right and be better. We listen and learn from those with different backgrounds, perspectives and life experiences to help inform our actions. Because we believe discrimination, even in its subtlest form, has no place in our society, our community nor around the game table and we stand firmly with those who endeavor to effect change.
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- VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread
Why books at all? The history of bookbinding is deeply rooted in white supremacy. Gotta use scrolls like da kangz of old.
And I'm glad tumblr art exists. It tells you instantly which products to avoid.
EDIT: Sandy Petersen, writer of famed Chaosium titles like RuneQuest and Call of Cthulhu, is currently causing the Left some SAN loss by suggesting that playing a non-human race is pointless without stereotypes.
And I'm glad tumblr art exists. It tells you instantly which products to avoid.
Also a Black Peter / Old Maid book in the form of The Collected Works of H.P. Lovecraft.
EDIT: Sandy Petersen, writer of famed Chaosium titles like RuneQuest and Call of Cthulhu, is currently causing the Left some SAN loss by suggesting that playing a non-human race is pointless without stereotypes.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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- wulfenlord
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread
Ruh-roh. Vague dramaposting ensues.
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- Le Redditeur
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread
>hopefully not suicidal
Well, your odds are 41%.
Well, your odds are 41%.
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