Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

[Kugelfisch]

"It is common in Orcish households to hear the chime of a ceiling bird. This little creature chirps every 32 seconds to signal that there is no house fire."

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Turns out the upcoming 6e Monster Manual is full of gendershit.
Seems someone took offense at all those female monsters, so now stuff like dryads, hags and medusas can be male, too.

And don't think a male dryad will be some treant-looking motherfucker like one of those Age of Sigmar Sylvaneth. They're gonna be gay af:

At least the female one is ginger

Nevermind that this goes against anything we know of dryads from folklore. This is especially true for hags. The fuck is a male hag even supposed to be? The whole deal of a hag is that they're old witches who may or may not be fey.
Male medusas are also stupid since D&D already has the Maedar to fill that role (though they're usually just somewhat snake-y bald dudes).

Succubi and Incubi are also gonna be genderfluid. Now at first this actually sounds sensible, since these demons have been described as being two forms of the same creature in folklore.
Of course they decide to make it extra dumb:

Rather than having succubus and incubus indicating the gender of one monster, we’ve now turned them into two monsters. Either of those monsters can appear as male or female.

*sigh*

[Kugelfisch]

That's just nonsense.
"Instead of making women and men being an indication of different human genders, we made them two distinct species that can be either gender each"
>it's ma'am
>male or female ma'am?

[wulfenlord]

At least Terry Pratchett has been a horndog witty about his descriptions of male dryads, putting the question back to the reader why much of plantlife looks phallic.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Nymphs will most likely also gonna have male versions. Even though that word literally means "young woman/bride".
Also I hope every monster will have art for both genders. I wanna see Lady Balor and Dude Marilith.

Though I guess there are always Monstergirls...

Technically a LotR Balrog but fuck itShow

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Do you wanna know the best thing about the furry inflation RPG GorgeWorld (Gold Best Seller on DrivethruRPG!)?


The writers successfully argued that DrivethruRPG can't reject the book for being too pornographic because they were A-OK with Thirsty Sword Lesbians

[Kugelfisch]

They have a point.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

The mods have spoken: Links to twitter will no longer be tolerated in the esteemed subreddits for modern D&D (aka r/dndnext and r/onednd).

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

The weebshit sperging about Übel Blatt has reminded me that the Nips aren't the only use with questionable usages of the German tongue:


Aihrde is the in-house setting of the Castles & Crusades blokes, with two major quirks:

• The setting's backstory is written in a style similar to the Silmarillion
• The overall setting is very Germanic

Now the important bit is the last point, which mostly translated to using German words in the weirdest ways:

• There's a kingdom called Aachen - which is also the name of an actual German city, so this is a bit like having "The Kingdom of Edinburgh" in your fantasy setting
• The main Big Bad Evil God is called Unklar, which basically means vague, uncertain, unclear etc.
• The dude has also created a race of demonic henchmen, which are called the Ungern, which in turn means reluctantly/grudgingly
• There's a country know as "the land without gods", which somehow turned into Gottland Ne, aka "Godland Nope"

[Kugelfisch]

Gottland? Ne. Mettbrötchen? Jo!