NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Whine and Bitch about people long after they become interesting to talk about
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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Mon Dec 06, 2021 10:10 pm

We have enough German authors. No need to bother with the diaspora.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by Guest » Tue Dec 07, 2021 1:18 am

I strongly recommend reading Cat's Cradle or Slaughterhouse Five or Breakfast of Champions, one of the funniest books I've ever read. A much better expenditure of your time than reading Lindsay's dogshit. But then again, almost anything is

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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by Guest » Tue Dec 07, 2021 4:48 am

VoiceOfReasonPast wrote:
Mon Dec 06, 2021 9:28 am
Figured she would be a bit awkward when it comes to the death of other human beings.
My Secret Fanfic wrote:Her demeanor changed, the jovial veneer thinning. “Right after my first child died.”
“I’m sorry. How did it die?”
“Oh, you know.” Her hand wobbled back and forth awkwardly. Squish, squash. Squish, squash “Coat hanger.”
pibbs wrote:
Mon Dec 06, 2021 3:55 am
We start with a picture. Of texting. Why? She's typed this shit out before.
Why would you do that? I don't think I've ever read anything where a chat discussion was displayed in screenshot form. Books aren't a visual medium. We don't need to see some boring UI to immerse ourselves in this wonderful story.
Plus it must be extra annyoing for the electronic version, unless you want bits of your book to not be compatible with a text-to-speech or similar device. Just think of the visually-impaired, Lindsay.
Yes, that would piss me off on my kindle to no end. I remember years ago when I read Filth (Irvine Welsh) and he used some meta method which came unannounced and was quite brilliant, but which I first thought were errors in the epub because they looked like jumbled lines.
If you don't mind spoilers:
SpoilerShow
The main character developed a tape worm which starts communicating with him. In the print, it starts with some random letters on a first line, then the worm grows and at some point you have whole paragraphs and finally a page split in half by the worm's thoughts interrupting the normal story text flow
.

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Newhalf
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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by Newhalf » Wed Dec 08, 2021 2:41 pm

Sure, I'll take the spoilers for something I will never read. Sounds really disgusting.

Also if anyone would ever describe suicide by rope of a family member to me in such a way I'd be unable to take them seriously. That's how you would only talk if you were joking, or a complete psycho, but you know, Hanlon's razor and all.
It's a trap!

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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by Guest » Fri Dec 10, 2021 8:59 am

Newhalf wrote:
Wed Dec 08, 2021 2:41 pm
Sure, I'll take the spoilers for something I will never read. Sounds really disgusting.

Also if anyone would ever describe suicide by rope of a family member to me in such a way I'd be unable to take them seriously. That's how you would only talk if you were joking, or a complete psycho, but you know, Hanlon's razor and all.
Welsh has this very dark humor going on, you can see it in Trainspotting as well. Situations are so bleak that the absurd just pops through. The movies temper that a bit and make it more accessible for mainstream audiences. Similar to Chuck Palahniuk in many ways.

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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by pibbs » Sat Dec 11, 2021 4:12 am

Truth of the Divine by Best Selling HotDog Girl. Lindsay Ellis
Chapter 22: Interview with a Dumb Bitch
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch

Cora gets her big interview, with a twist.
“As you know, it will be broadcast live, so you’ll get visual cues for when your segment is nearly over. We’re doing a basic point-counterpoint, you with a Third Option proponent.”
“Oh.” Cora had really hoped it would just be her being interviewed, at least this first time. She hadn’t exactly been a member of the debate team in high school.
This makes no sense. The media gets their hands on an alien interpreter, a person with first hand experience with these aliens for the first time... and they set up a debate? That's not how it works dumbass. They would solo interview her and ask all about the aliens. No one would give a shit about alien rights at this point. They want to know what they look like, what they eat, do they have dicks and vaginas, what's their home world like etc etc. Just stupid virtue signaling so Lindsay can parade her so-called high minded concepts, which aren't any of those things as using nonhumans as metaphors for humanity is a tired tired trope. This is high school English creative writing assignment level here.

Oh the person she's debating is Jano Miranda. This is supposed to be a bad thing. HE was mentioned before, I've forgotten who is, and I don't care.
“Today, I am speaking with Jano Miranda, candidate for California’s Forty-Sixth Congressional District and proponent of the Third Option of nonhuman personhood...
Oh. Right. Carry on.

Daddy issues emerge as she's introduced.
“Cora is also the oldest daughter of Nils Ortega—”
God- fucking- damn it. Of course they would say that, it would be suspicious if they didn’t, but she felt kneecapped by it all the same.
Let's take a moment to consider what's going on here. Cora, a first semester college drop out, with no know expertise in anything, except cuddling with space raptors and having psychotic episodes, instead of getting a solo interview like I already said, goes up against a seasoned politician type, who's spearheading a bill on the topic at hand, and who's comfortable in front of a camera. How should this go? A disaster for Cora right? But how does Lindsay write it?
Mr. Miranda, how do you define personhood?”
Miranda chuckled as if they were sharing a joke. “I think the answer to that is obvious. We could get philosophical, but we don’t need to. We can just use common sense. A person is a human.”
“Ms. Sabino?” said Satomi.
This was one she felt ready for, at least. “A person is an individual, but personhood is also a function of being social creatures. So a person is a sentient, autonomous, conscious being capable of language and problem-solving, but a person can only evolve in the context of a species capable of forming societies. All humans are persons, but not all persons are human. The two terms are not interchangeable.”
Uh huh. And between soiling herself and teasing an alien, where'd she learn to talk about this subject like this?
Anyway, the whole debate is this. Boring. Suspension of disbelief over Cora's competence unsuspended.
“Could you describe the personality of any of the ETIs in a way that humans might appreciate?”
What the fuck? That hadn’t been on the roster of preapproved talking points. It had all been broad, conceptual stuff about the nature of what makes a person,
So? BE an adult.

The debate continues. It's exactly like how you think Lindsay would write this. I'm not actually reading it, but skimming, because it is a pretentious bore.

Interview over, Kaveh speaks to Miranda. There's going to be Third Person rally (facepalm) starring Tom Delonge, lead singer of Blink-182.

Sigh.
Kaveh moved his hand to the small of Cora’s back, ushering her toward the exit of the studio, and she melted a little more. He leaned over to her and whispered. “You kicked ass!”
“Really?”
“Yes! Not going to lie, I was about to swallow my tongue when he asked you to describe his personality and you kind of blanked, but then you came back, oh, man. You did way better than I did my first time on TV. This shit is hard!” He stopped to face her. “Do you hug?”
“Yes, I hug.”
He brought it in, and it was already more than a friendly pat-on-the-back hug, it was being held. Three seconds. Four seconds. She took in his smell, and it warmed her, the olfactory equivalent of a sip of hot chocolate.
He pulled away, keeping his hands on her shoulders. “Let’s go get dinner.”
End of chapter.
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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sat Dec 11, 2021 6:28 am

>unable to answer alien questions to military types she's been hanging out for months without having panic attacks
>can't even hear the name of her dad without getting triggered
>easily defeats seasoned politicians in a live debate


Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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Kugelfisch
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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by Kugelfisch » Sun Dec 12, 2021 5:59 am

>autonomous, sentient beings with language and problem-solving skills that form a society
So crows and dolphins get to vote now and are considered people?
Man, if only Cora had ever met and talked to the aliens and could verify them being highly complex and intelligent beings from first-hand experience to formulate a stronger argument.

It would still fail. Xenos have no claim to Holy Terra and should get treated as POWs at best, ideally tortured and butchered for science and then exterminated for engaging in hostile actions.
You don't start a war with a dozen against billions and get to ask for rights, fuckers!
SpoilerShow
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Cannons bray, the mighty quake!
Centuries of blood becomes erased!
I am the white ghost!

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Le Redditeur
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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by Le Redditeur » Sun Dec 12, 2021 6:30 am

They should be grateful the God Emperor was in his The Apprentice phase yet.

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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by pibbs » Sat Dec 18, 2021 4:29 am

Truth of the Divine by Best Selling HotDog Girl. Lindsay Ellis
Chapter 24: Sand... I hate Sand
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch

SO, faggot Kaveh takes Cora to the Cheesecake Factory. Lindsay apparently loves this place as much as her alcohol. She describes it in her “aren't I so clever and whimsical” way.
The two looked up at the blinged-out ancient Egyptian edifice of the Cheesecake Factory at the Spectrum in Irvine, its signage emblazoned with red neon bulbs. A gilded monument to overpriced mediocre food, a confused mess of architecture and interior design that was equal parts sarcophagus and Mordor. A hideous calorieladen monument to man’s hubris.
Could you imagine having to suffer through a conversation with Lindsay? I'd rather take a hammer to my fingers.
Kaveh joked about the turgid aftertaste the food here tended to have...
turgidadjective swollen and distended or congested

Mind explaining what the taste of “swollen or congested” food tastes like, you vapid whore? Idonthtinkthatwordmeanswhatyouthinkitmeans.jpg

(“What are you in the mood for: chocolate freezer burn or lemon raspberry cream freezer burn?”). They went for the mango key lime cheesecake. It tasted like freezer burn.
“I was half joking about the freezer burn,” he said. “I did not expect this to taste more like freezer burn than mango or key lime.”
I'm one page in.

I regret ever doing this review thing.

She compares him to Dr. Malcolm of Jurassic Park. He uses another Lord of the Rings reference.
He smiled, admiring how the soft Eye of Sauron light flattered her hair, her features.
What the fuck does this mean? Cheesecake factory is lit up red?

These two NPCs dance around the whole “will they, won't they thing” in some of the worst romantic writing since Attack of the Clones. See, bitch? Anyone can do references.

But instead of fucking, Cora rehashes the parts Kaveh missed before showing up in the desert. And recounts her attack in the last book. Need to fill out that word count, eh Lindsay?
She placed a hand to her stomach, and her expression curdled like she was going to be sick. “He skewered me, ripped my guts out. No, I’m not exaggerating, that’s what happened. It happened, that happened. But then it looked like— I thought — Obelus’s own subordinates killed him—”
Then lots of boring dialog, about their past traumas and shit. Kaveh whines about his brothers suicide, hee haw, hee haw, rope, neck, dead.

They hold hands. The candle reflecting off her eyes, yadda, yadda, yadda.
He turned her hand to face upward and began drawing light circles on the center of her palm. She drew in a faint little gasp, and not for the first time, he wondered if this was a bad idea, and not just because of their age difference. It was difficult to humor the idea of a relationship with her; they were at such different stages of life, to say nothing of the absolutely bizarre circumstances that had brought them together. But it was hard to think responsibly when she was looking at him as if he were a shiny new car she was dying to take for a ride.
Why so much hand-wringing? They were clearly on the same page, and she was starved for human contact he was more than willing to supply. He wanted to take her home, get her into his bed, smell her and taste her and touch her and fuck her and cover her body with his. He wanted to take care of her. He wanted her to stop being so afraid. He wanted to be the person who made her feel safe.
Lindsay.... just stop.


They kiss.
He smiled widely, resisting a strong urge to swipe this freezer-burned cheesecake off the table and give in to the passion. “God, I just want to take you home with me right now.”
She swallowed so loud it was almost a cartoon gulp. “And do what?”
“Whatever we want.”
“That sounds . . . fun.”
“Bocce ball, Mario Kart , anything.”
“I . . . like things.”
He chuckled, wondering when he started to find “dopey and inarticulate” attractive; the combination of youth, beauty, and befuddlement was working on him.
I'm embarrassed for Lindsay at this point.

Kaveh vows to himself that he won't exploit the situation just to fuck her.

And that's how the chapter ends.
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