NCunt: Black Cocks Only

[wulfenlord]

Anyway, back on track (somewhat) with Lindsay. This is one of her newest fans :3

Looks like Orcril with a fake-ass Kigurumi wig

[Dingus Bajingus]

]It is an eternal circle jerk of mutual demotivating that never actually goes anywhere because nobody involved actually wants to change/improve.

A minor fix, but a crucial one. They somehow think it's motivating, but constant asspatting and esteem-stroking don't exactly have stellar track record when it comes to actually getting shit done.

[Le Redditeur]

Anyway, back on track (somewhat) with Lindsay. This is one of her newest fans :3

Looks like Orcril with a fake-ass Kigurumi wig

Someone should link Lindsay's Iron Liz tweet to him.

[Rushy]

I am. I have no idea who this bitch is or how she got on the DHI radar.

All the funny Spoony cultists left, so this is what's left to talk about.

[pibbs]

Yeah, I'd been skipping over the warthog shenanigans. She's a bore/boar! HA!

[pibbs]

Truth of the Divine by Best Selling HotDog Girl. Lindsay Ellis
Chapter 21: MAKEOVER!!!
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch

We start with a picture. Of texting. Why? She's typed this shit out before.



Fuck it.

Cora is at Kaveh's house judging his family for the nice things they have for a few pages. Fuck you, Lindsay, you fucking hypocrite.

Then she launches into a short diatribe about subprime loans.

had preferred to invest in real estate rather than the stock market, which had insulated their wealth from the worst of the stock market crash, despite the real estate market being the cause of the stock market crash. “Subprime loans are mainly what caused it— that doesn’t have anything to do with our investments, since none of our properties have mortgages,” he told her, and she nodded like she’d understood a word he said.

Lindsay I hope you choke on your own vomit while sleeping.

Kaveh tries to clean up Cora so she'll be presentable on TV. First thing, washing the blue out of her hair.
MAKEOVER!

“Wow, look at you,” he said in a tone that could either be read as brotherly or . . . not brotherly, and her mouth went dry again. “I’m getting ‘Jennifer Aniston opens up about life, love, and divorce,’ vibes. Chic, professional, yet relatable.”

He coaches her on how not to sound like a dumb ass. Lindsay decides it's time to establish a blossoming romance.

Maybe it would get too hot, and he’d take off his blazer and she’d have to hold it for him, and she’d have to smell the cologne on his blazer. Wouldn’t that be terrible.

Cora was suddenly possessed with a desire for him to laugh heartfelt laughs at things she said, jokes she made, and with jealousy at whoever he’d been talking to.

This surprised Cora. Did he not have a girlfriend? If so, why not? Ignoring the fact that he was so charming and, well, nice, he was rich, and successful, and he was good-looking. Objectively, he was good-looking, she could admit that, in an offbeat quirky way, more a character actor than a leading man.

“I seem to recall you mentioning a girlfriend at some point.”
Said “girlfriend” had up until this point been her only real relationship that had lasted for more than two months, but how to gracefully telegraph that she wasn’t only interested in girls?

Somebody must have told Lindsay that the general reading public prefer their romances straight, not perverted.

Then she describes someone hanging themselves in the most... bizarre way I have ever seen.

His demeanor changed, the jovial veneer thinning. “Right after my brother died.”
“I’m sorry. How did he die?”
“Oh, you know.” His head wobbled back and forth awkwardly. Hem, haw. Hem, haw. “Rope.”
“Rope?” Then it hit her what he meant. “Oh, I’m so sorry.

Lindsay you're a fucking sociopath or something. Good God,

Anyway... fuck hee haw, hee haw... Cora and Kaveh talk about what Cora wants to do with herself. Snore.

She blames her dropping out of college on everything but herself. Muh daddeh issues, break up, etc

This goes on for ages.

Kaveh reveals he knows about the psychic butt buddy thing. She's mortified.

Kaveh put his hand on her shoulder, running the tips of his fingers to the nape of her neck, and smiled that warm honey smile. “We’re on the same team, okay?” he said, giving her neck a tiny squeeze.

You forgot to ask for consent. FBI moves in, and shoots him on the spot. Kidding.

He promises to keep her butt buddy secret.
End of chapter.

[Rapeculture]

Touching without her consent? That's very anti-feminist, Lindsay.

[wulfenlord]

Lindsay is not a feminist, just an opportunist who happens to be born in easy-mode, thus she picks her stances like her dicks, inconstant, fickle, uncommited.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Figured she would be a bit awkward when it comes to the death of other human beings.

Her demeanor changed, the jovial veneer thinning. “Right after my first child died.”
“I’m sorry. How did it die?”
“Oh, you know.” Her hand wobbled back and forth awkwardly. Squish, squash. Squish, squash “Coat hanger.”

We start with a picture. Of texting. Why? She's typed this shit out before.

Why would you do that? I don't think I've ever read anything where a chat discussion was displayed in screenshot form. Books aren't a visual medium. We don't need to see some boring UI to immerse ourselves in this wonderful story.
Plus it must be extra annyoing for the electronic version, unless you want bits of your book to not be compatible with a text-to-speech or similar device. Just think of the visually-impaired, Lindsay.

[Guest]

Books aren't a visual medium.

Never read Vonnegut, then?