Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue

[RedLine]

my mortgage is only $1,054/month. I lease a 2011 F150. I use Magnum condoms cuz I'm only about 6in but I got some haft to my shaft. I smoke weed.

He's obviously doing a bit because no one could actually be this gay.
It's better than his Spoony trolls but still needs work. Luckily, I hear he has a lot of down time.

[TheSpongeyOne]

my mortgage is only $1,054/month. I lease a 2011 F150. I use Magnum condoms cuz I'm only about 6in but I got some haft to my shaft. I smoke weed.

He's obviously doing a bit because no one could actually be this gay.
It's better than his Spoony trolls but still needs work. Luckily, I hear he has a lot of down time.

No bit, I'm incredibly average, and I'm totally fine with that. I like living comfortably.

[Dingus Bajingus]

THREAD SUCKS
POST BUNNIES

[Guest]

splogey's turning into quite the lolcow himself.

[Moe Bitches]

Those aren't Playboy bunnies.

[Guest]

why would anyone brag about sex on dhi

[wulfenlord]

Hey guys, I'm giving my super hot yoga wife a legendary hard-body dicking when I'm not making Spoony troll posts on Twitter and Reddit.

Oof imagine thinking being semi health conscious and sexually active with your spouse is some utter madness. I troll Spoony cuz I have a lot of down time. I work a low key job with zero stress, my mortgage is only $1,054/month. I lease a 2011 F150. I use Magnum condoms cuz I'm only about 6in but I got some haft to my shaft. I smoke weed.

Of course you have a lot of down time :3


Anyway, time for Hogswatch Weekend

Remember her yammering about how being a deathfat is all her fault (and rightfully so)? Turns out the cop-out was just a therapy session away

Who? Me? taking responsibility for my actions? Nah, it has to be childhood trauma/genetic defects/thyroid glands/spoony haters
Should I stop stuffing my face like a pig and lay in my piss in apathy eating only a teeny little bit when I'm hungry for real u guise and being productive (googling 2 pages of rent ads a day until I'm exhausted)? Nah, since my therapist said trauma could be a factor ITS NOT MY FAULT IM #SICKNOTWEAK! I will demand my doctor give me a prescription for a nutritionist

See? Everything I have to endure is the fault of my parents! They were feeding me before I could consent! Abuse!!! And they fed me HORRIBLE TASTING AND HEALTHY FOOD! I wanted CHOCOLATE AND SODA! #RapeSurvivor

Oh God my joints are SCREAMING! If only there is something I could do instead of abusing opioids and the states health system! But alas, since my self-diagnosed eating disorder is all traumatic, I NEED specialist help. But even though my pain is severe, I will continue to pray for my @S.O., whose pain threshold is immeasurable for us mortals, ain't I such a good human being GO FUCK A CACTUS MEGAN HATER!!! BLOCKED AND REPORTED!

[Guest]

Rachel can join Screenwave. Maybe, take a seat on next podcast.

[Guest]

Maybe, take a seat

No chair can withstand the Rachel's 1-ton bulk.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

So it took her therapists until now to hypothesize that her fatness might be a problem? Was this like the first time she actually met them in the flesh? Or the first time she sent them a full-body picture?

Not that this will amount to anything. There's really only two possible outcomes for the nutritionist saga:

• Rachel throws a tantrum and gives up when she realizes that she'd have to change her diet to something with less junk food
• The nutritionist turns out to be a charlatan who gets her hooked on the "Intuitive Eating" doctrine, which has convinced many a landwhale that you can pretend to live healthier without actually changing your diet ("I have to eat these twinkies. It's what my body wants. If I abstain I'll just binge eat later!")

I'm hoping for the former, since she's not actually talking all that much about food and will probably not have many opportunities to be smug about being an Intuitive Eating expert.
Unless she decides to defend other landwhales with a "Please educate yourself about Intuitive Eating before blah blah blah".

Those aren't Playboy bunnies.

Fixed that for you.

SpoilerShow