Cyrax - A Goblin King Dethroned

Whine and Bitch about people long after they become interesting to talk about
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Kugelfisch
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Cyrax - A Goblin King Dethroned

Post by Kugelfisch » Sun Mar 05, 2023 4:35 pm

So, a quick overview as to who this creature is, despite several of you likely already being aware of him.

Cyrax is some malformed goblin residing in Akron Ohio.
His real name is Chance Wilkins. None of this is doxing, as he's all too happy to invite people to come to his house to fight him.

Ugly mugshot of the creature in question:
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Nobody knows what's exactly wrong with him but he's obviously fucked up, likely due to his mother being a drug fiend. He is about 1.5m or around 5" tall.
Speaking of his family, his mother is dead, his brother died of AIDS, his father is a convicted child molesters and he lives with his grandmother, who he calls his mother.

He has no job and lives off of disability. He spends most of his time playing video games very poorly, screaming (he calls it singing) or screaming, at several people but mostly a troll going by Music Biz Marty.
The interesting parts of history start with Marty as well, so let's quickly look at the greatest hits of the past five or so years.

Marty and some other trolls convinced Cyrax that they own music labels. He got an offer and quickly signed up with the label "Bender Boys", leading to this hilarious video of him thinking he's hot shit:



No need to watch that in full. Just the first few minutes will give you an idea.

However, due to bad performance of his music, his contract was sold off to Music Biz Marty and his record label "Ram Ranch".
Since Marty has been messing with Cyrax for a while, the goblin wasn't too happy about that.



This is the start of the trend of Marty absolutely owning him in every regard.
The fake record label names being obvious gay jokes is, to this day, lost on Cyrax.

What followed are several years of Marty messing with Cyrax in all sorts of ways.
What's important to note is that it came to light that Cyrax was kicked from high-school for molesting a blind kid and also got exposed for exposing himself to underage girls in text chats.
Marty started to despise Cyrax.

Since Cyrax loves to challenge Marty to a fight and tell him to come to his house, Marty did just that - twice. Both times, Cyrax was hiding in his basement and didn't show up.

But this week, things would go a bit different.
After Cyrax lost his title of being the Drift King to Marty by continuously dodging out of a video game race that he himself challenged Marty to, MBM decided that he'd also take Cyrax's title of being the King of Akron.

So Marty rented an Air BNB just a block down from Cyrax's house and set up shop to stream.
To the surprise of everyone, Cyrax did show up:



...and got his nose broken by Marty.
That's where we are now.
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Kugelfisch
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Re: Cyrax - A Goblin King Dethroned

Post by Kugelfisch » Sun Mar 05, 2023 4:40 pm

Keep in mind that I left a lot of stuff out.
Whenever Marty streams, he will join in to scream like a maniac and flash his dick to try and get Marty's channel taken down.

If you've got the time, I can recommend Mr. Snowflake's videos on him for a more comprehensive summation of this lolcow.






I know that Cyrax isn't the type of subject we normally talk about here. But since so little is currently happening with regular INs, I thought we could stand to have a thread about a dumbass that delivers.
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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: Cyrax - A Goblin King Dethroned

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sun Mar 05, 2023 4:45 pm

Kugelfisch wrote:
Sun Mar 05, 2023 4:35 pm
Nobody knows what's exactly wrong with him but he's obviously fucked up, likely due to his mother being a drug fiend. He is about 1.5m or around 5" tall.
He's obviously one of those inbred mutant hillbilies from the Wrong Turn franchise.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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Re: Cyrax - A Goblin King Dethroned

Post by CuckTurdginson » Sun Mar 05, 2023 4:46 pm

Mad Bum already posts here, though.
ebin namefag wrote:
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I don't know when they divorced I just know that it's Brad's fault.

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Kugelfisch
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Re: Cyrax - A Goblin King Dethroned

Post by Kugelfisch » Sun Mar 05, 2023 4:57 pm

VoiceOfReasonPast wrote:
Sun Mar 05, 2023 4:45 pm
He's obviously one of those inbred mutant hillbilies from the Wrong Turn franchise.
I heard The Hills Have Eyes being mentioned a lot as well.
Would it surprise anyone that he used to consider himself a juggalo?
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Dehbashi
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Re: Cyrax - A Goblin King Dethroned

Post by Dehbashi » Sun Mar 05, 2023 5:28 pm

The only reason I know about this dude and the recent ass kicking he got is because one of the Gunt Guards were crying that Null either closed the thread or removed the video of the ass kicking because he thought it was irrelevant

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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: Cyrax - A Goblin King Dethroned

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sun Mar 05, 2023 5:30 pm

Kugelfisch wrote:
Sun Mar 05, 2023 4:57 pm
Would it surprise anyone that he used to consider himself a juggalo?
Well, her certainly looks like he's down to clown...
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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Moe Bitches
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Re: Cyrax - A Goblin King Dethroned

Post by Moe Bitches » Sun Mar 05, 2023 5:37 pm

He looks like Ohio.
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Shit like this is why satire is dead in currentyear.

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Complicity
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Re: Cyrax - A Goblin King Dethroned

Post by Complicity » Sun Mar 05, 2023 6:25 pm

Kugelfisch wrote:
Sun Mar 05, 2023 4:35 pm
What's important to note is that it came to light that Cyrax was kicked from high-school for molesting a blind kid and also got exposed for exposing himself to underage girls in text chats.
Didn't his father rape a little girl on an isolated road like in a movie, and the police figured out it was him specifically because of his retarded attempts at making his trail cold?
I've also heard that after he got out of jail he became an advocate for pedophilia "trans awareness".
Like father like son, i guess.
Plus the deformities caused by her mother being a junkie during the pregnancy.
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Kugelfisch
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Re: Cyrax - A Goblin King Dethroned

Post by Kugelfisch » Sun Mar 05, 2023 6:37 pm

His grandfather was also a diddler. Chance is a third generation paedophile.
Dehbashi wrote:
Sun Mar 05, 2023 5:28 pm
The only reason I know about this dude and the recent ass kicking he got is because one of the Gunt Guards were crying that Null either closed the thread or removed the video of the ass kicking because he thought it was irrelevant
How him getting ragdolled by his biggest troll that he wanted to fight for the last five years is irrelevant is typical Nool logic.
He really does see much of himself in these lolcows, doesn't he?
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Cannons bray, the mighty quake!
Centuries of blood becomes erased!
I am the white ghost!

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