NCunt: Black Cocks Only

[Guest]

Video essays are strarting to get a backlash. Most of this shit applies to Lindsay, but she's too lazy and unskilled for nice graphical effects.

It happens with every trend. They get popular, then comes oversaturation, then backlash to the oversaturation, then it dies when another trend gets popular. It happened with angry reviews, and the same will happen for video essays.

[Oengae]

Eyerolling and drinking booze on camera are the new "Why did you guys make me review this?!" and shooting a plastic gun for hackfrauds.

[Kugelfisch]

Because smart people are always aloof and enjoy fine whisky the plebs have no sense for. Gotta build up that authority to appeal to it later on.

[Dingus Bajingus]

Video essays are strarting to get a backlash. Most of this shit applies to Lindsay, but she's too lazy and unskilled for nice graphical effects.

8/10. Needed something like "I have no experience or expertise in the field I'll be discussing, but I'm still going to speak and act as though I'm an authority on it anyway."

[pibbs]

Oh god. I found a torrent.

[pibbs]

THE LONG-AWAITED SEQUEL MY FRIENDS!!!

Truth of the Divine by Best Selling HotDog Girl
Chapter 1: Here We Fucking Go Again
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch

Lindsay Ellis asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

I haven't even started reading and already the pretentiousness is Super Saiyan level. And I don't even have my rum and Coke. Fuck.

For Kaveh

Is this one of her pedo friends?

This book has a trigger warning. You can read it if you want. It's only 432 words long. My God.

SpoilerShow

The following serves as a content warning, and as such contains some spoilers. If you feel that you aren’t someone who benefits from or needs content warnings, I suggest you skip this section.
There is much discussion in media criticism circles about the ethics of portrayals of suicide and self-harm, particularly the tendency to romanticize it. Indeed, I have had some very bad nights as a result of certain pieces of media framing suicide as a sad thing that happens, but maybe sometimes the noble thing to do, especially for those of us who have metaphorically pissed our pants at the Grammys (looking at you, A Star Is Born ). But romanticization or no, any depiction of suicide, attempted, contemplated, or completed, can make someone who already experiences those tendencies to fall back into the ideation pit. Depiction of an act need not be romanticized to trigger negative effects, especially if the viewer/reader goes in unaware.
On the flip side, as a writer you never know what will be harmful for others, and just because someone feels hurt or is triggered by your work doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. I don’t like the idea of certain subjects being “off limits” either as a writer or a reader, and I think we should allow ourselves to write about messy, difficult, and painful situations, including sympathetic characters engaging in acts of self-harm or acting in unethical or even abusive ways. Armed with this foreknowledge, the onus is on the reader to decide if this material might be harmful to them.
One of the main themes of Truth of the Divine is trauma, and it contains depictions of post-traumatic stress, depression, addiction, alcoholism, domestic violence, and a wide smattering of manifestations of mental illness such as panic attacks. The book includes depictions of suicidal ideation, suicidal planning, attempted suicide, completed suicide, and violent self-harm. The book also contains depictions of racism, xenophobia, Islamophobia, racially motivated violence, anti-Semitism, and a few incidences of racial slurs. While the book doesn’t contain anything that I would consider sexual violence, it does contain some uncomfortable sexual situations (and no, I don’t mean with aliens, sorry—not yet, anyway).
I include this warning not because I want to dissuade anyone from reading but to inform the reader of content they may not otherwise anticipate, especially given the relatively light tone of the first installment of this series. If indeed you do feel like any of the above might be harmful to you, I suggest you postpone reading this book until such a time that that is no longer the case.

And then she copy pastes “The Universal Declaration of Human Rights” (I embiggened Human Rights because she did in her book) from the United Nations General Assembly in Paris 1948. Becuase of course she did. She doesn't want you to miss that the space raptor is a metaphor of the struggles of transurban white girls like Lindsay.

Still not at Chapter 1 yet. First a Top Secret communique to the President.

FROM SA SOLOMON KAPLANReceived by Washington
TO KEVIN WIXOM FOR THE PRESIDENT 1:38 PM Tuesday January 1 2008
TOPSECRET TOP SECRET
SUBJECT: LIST OF ALL KNOWN INDIVIDUALS OF SPECIES AMYGDALINE (“PEQUOD”) AS OF JANUARY 1 2008, LISTED BY NUMBER, ESPERANTO CODE NAME, FUNCTION (IF KNOWN), CASTE (IF KNOWN), AND STATUS (IF KNOWN)
Inarajan, Guam Event- “Fremda” February 26, 1971
AG- ETI- 001 - “Čefo”technocratcaste: Oligarchstatus: d. (9/20/2007)
AG- ETI- 002 - “Esperas”diplocratcaste: Oligarchstatus: RNSC Building 112
AG- ETI- 003 - “Brako”stratocratcaste: Similarstatus: RNSC Building 112
AG- ETI- 004 - “Kruro”stratocratcaste: Similarstatus: d. (10/7/2007).... etc. etc.

Dudes.... This string of gibberish ( AG- ETI- 003 - “Brako”stratocratcaste: Similarstatus: RNSC Building 1120) goes on for
4 FUCKING PAGES!!! 442 WORDS!!!

We are at about 1,200 words in and haven't even begun the FIRST FUCKING CHAPTER!!!

I know Michael Crichton started his chapter with some some technobabble, but he actually researched whatever technological crap he was writing about, and made it interesting. Also he wrote Jurassic Park. This trash is just a wine-soaked Lindsay desperately trying to project importance into her space-raptor porn book. Wait... tech-babble openers, space raptors, technology and corrupted powers that be... does this bitch think she's Michael Crichton?


Finally, the book starts.

Part 1
It's a Fool Who Plays it Cool (no this isn't one of my snarky made up titles, this is hers)

January 7, 2008

Oh, goodie. An election year. And this book is where she's going to suck Obama's dick.

A whole page: one sentence

A RTICLE 14.1 Everyone has the right to seek and to enjoy in other countries asylum from persecution.

Lindsay, would you please start the fucking story, already?

And then a news article. Another 500 words! GODAMMIT!! It's like she's stalling, because she doesn't want to write this shit any more than anybody wants to read it.

December 14, 2007
The New York Times
A Third Option
To answer legal questions regarding the rights of extraterrestrial intelligences, we must think outside the box.
BY JANO MIRANDA
This week, protests in the capital spilled into violence as demonstrators in front of the White House, demanding accountability, clashed with police. The Cheney administration has seen a steady stream of resignations ever since President Cheney took office, and despite record-low approval ratings for the new president himself, he still refuses to address the topic at the center of these demonstrations: The people want to know the truth about First Contact.
I don’t condone what violence there has been, but we have... horseshit, horseshit and more horseshit!

Here I let out an audible graon. If you recall, Bush resigned in disgrace because he didn't tell the people there were weird albino space raptors. Riots, stock market crash etc, etc.
As I said in my previous review, this dumb bitch knows nothing about pop-culture or Ufology. It is widely believed that every president is hiding the truth about aliens, so this narrative makes no fucking sense. The entire world wouldn't be losing it's shit becuase George Bush hid the truth of aliens, This is stupid, stupid, stupid!

The de facto presumption right now, communicative or no, is that any intelligent extraterrestrial beings have existed and continue to exist in a sort of legal gray area, enjoying no real legal protections and beholden to no human law. Those on the left cry out against the former, those on the right cry out against the latter. And the rest of the world is similarly hamstrung, waiting and holding its breath to see what the United States will do, as the United States is, for the moment, the only country that actually knows what it is dealing with.

This is just a heavy-handed way to screech loudly "alien rights is human rights, derrrr," and to rehash the last book. If you remember half her first book was just rehashing the very shit you just read.

So the discussion has us at an impasse; either we grant ETIs, knowing absolutely nothing about their similarities or differences to us, full human rights, or we grant them no rights. The idea that these are our only two options strikes me as odd because part of what makes us human is our ability to problem solve, to innovate.
I would like to suggest a third option.

And it just ends there.
Finally, Chpater 1 starts. But I'll have to break this review up, it's too long before we even get to the first fucking sentence of the first fucking chapter.
This fucking book is going to be an absolute slog.
Fuck you Lindsay. Why didn't you abort this project as easily as you do human life?

[Guest]

Lindsay is fundamentally not a curious or deep thinker and has little interest in unique settings. But wait, she critiques stories and she has a degree. That means something right? Not really. It just means she's good at the kind of analysis that gets you an English masters degree. She's learned the tricks of the trade to spot biases of authors and meta narratives. However, she most likely was never even taught how to actually write interesting characters or settings. She has no interest in science other than a superficial level, which is kind of a big deal in science fiction since you're trying to take cutting edge discoveries and seeing how they might impact society (for better or worse).

[Guest]

Lindsay is fundamentally not a curious or deep thinker and has little interest in unique settings. But wait, she critiques stories and she has a degree. That means something right? Not really. It just means she's good at the kind of analysis that gets you an English masters degree. She's learned the tricks of the trade to spot biases of authors and meta narratives. However, she most likely was never even taught how to actually write interesting characters or settings. She has no interest in science other than a superficial level, which is kind of a big deal in science fiction since you're trying to take cutting edge discoveries and seeing how they might impact society (for better or worse).

Good job turning that Dan Olson diss about Doge into a diss about Lindsay. Lindsay is just a prime example of those who can't do, become critics instead. I'm beginning to think the only reason Lindsay has gotten where she has is because of her connections and also the people who help her write/edit her videos. Her connections has gotten where she is today and now her career is on the decline if her book sales are any indication.

[Kugelfisch]

A clunky, cluttered first dozen of pages full with trigger warnings, meaningless space shrimp data and the heavy-handed theme already fisting you up the ass.
That's a worse start than I was expecting, honestly.

[Newhalf]

It's like the book equivalent of having to write a 500 words essay and resorting to rambling in order to fill up the pages.
This has promise.