"Class of 86" - Brad Jones' Masturbatorial Book Debut

[Oengae]

She realized she hates writing after the first book but was locked into a 3 book deal so she phoned it in. Speedrunning the typical YA author progression

[Complicity]

Nerd emerges from his door and comes to the sad realization that she left for good. But what's this? One of her hairs?

The hair, as viewed through the magnifying glass, gave Fletcher some sort of almost sexual pleasure.

No Brad, we will not vote for Joe Biden no matter how hard you try to sell him.

I don't know. This shit is unintentionally funny. While Lindsey writing was just pretentious, Brad makes you go WTF and want to know how crazy it's going to get.

I genuinely liked the part where the bitch tells Biden that radiation makes her wet, and Biden is all "Whatcha talkin bout Willis?"

[Dehbashi]

I’ll say this - this strikes me as being fun to make fun of - even with Doge, who in their right mind would call To Boldly Flee anything close to watchable.
Lindsay’s book was comedy, too - but like Pibbs said, really pretentious.

Her first book was fun. The space raptor, and the daddy issues which Lindsey raged about when she denied it. But the second one was just boring.

I disagree. Her book also had her own fantasies that didn't make sense. Oh W Bush resigned after the public found out about Area 51. Yeah. The guy who didn't give a shit about lying to attack another country is going to do that. And it had other cringe.

Brad is making me laugh with how random the writing is.

[Complicity]

His characters being stereotypical slasher movie protagonists is a step up from being cardboards with breadtubers' names, who only exist to validate the self-insert.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

A shame the nerd's basement didn't have any G1 ponies.

Meanwhile, Scooby and the Gangbang want to use Nerd's paper on the affects of radiation to copy and ace their chemistry exam so they can graduate skool. Does radiation affects really have anything to do with high school chemistry? Isn't that more Biology and Physics? Fuck it.

Apparently there's such a thing as "nuclear chemistry", which does include "radiation chemistry". But that's not what these folks are talking about.

I disagree. Her book also had her own fantasies that didn't make sense. Oh W Bush resigned after the public found out about Area 51. Yeah. The guy who didn't give a shit about lying to attack another country is going to do that. And it had other cringe.

Sci-fi hack writers have always used "Aliens are confirmed to be a thing" as a flimsy excuse to crowbar the world into the shape the want.
My favorite is "Aliens are real, all religions (except maybe Buddhism) immediately crumble to dust".

She realized she hates writing after the first book but was locked into a 3 book deal so she phoned it in. Speedrunning the typical YA author progression

She probably had some measure of passion on that first book, but then she grew bored when Hollywood studios didn't fall over themselves to buy the movie rights.

[pibbs]

She got her "NYT Best Selling Authot" title (probably surprised her TBH) and had nothing left to aim for. Though didn't she get a Hugo nomination? Fucking hacks.

[wulfenlord]

Team Rod

[Kugelfisch]

Don't touch Rod's beer!

[pibbs]

Class of '86 by Based Brad Jones
Chapter 4: Party at Ground Zero
They going to party like it's 1989!
A DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs

End of school party at Lexi's house! Whooo! Her boyfriend is no help as he's playing that shitty port of Donkey Kong on the Atari 2600.

Hey, Brad, this is the 2nd time you've mentioned an Atari game (Combat! before.) The fucking NES came out a year before this story is set, you knob. Sega was coming out the summer of this year. No one was playing Atari in '86 unless they were a ghetto kid.

Anyway, retard Bryce forgot the beer. No more Atari for you, fucker. He goes to get some as guests arrive. Lexi offers everyone Starbursts for some reason.

Cars also begin pulling up in the driveway and on the street outside her home, which was a typical trailer trash neighborhood where no one was going to complain that dozens of partying teenagers were going to show up and make a lot of noise.

Vic and Laura show up, but she's too busy writing that damn paper based on Nerd's kooky cloning theory to enjoy herself. Kurt and Lilith arrive coming from a showing of Dangerously Close. Brad keeps mentioning this movie. Does anyone remember it?

We're too lazy for tests, research papers, and we're especially too lazy for an end-of-the-world party,” Lilith laughed.

Besides a few snippets of radio reports in the first chapter, no mention of what the fuck is going on in the real world that has everyone scared. All we know, and I'm not kidding, is: US mad, Russia mad.

Air Supply began playing from the record player."

Record player. CDs were out by now, Brad, though cassette tapes were king in the 80s. Teens weren't buying records in '86. The setting he keeps describing feels more like late 70's very early 1980's to me. Just as a reminder of the culture of things that were out by '86, Miami Vice, Back to the Future, Transformers, He-Man, Nintendo, PC's, Apple IIc, Top Gun, Michael Jordan was tearing it up, the Space Shuttle blew up, yuppies, Polo shirts, Member's Only jackets, acid washed jeans, Nikes just started to get big, etc etc etc. My point is Brad is getting too much wrong. Rant over.

Anyway, Laura and Vic go get hamburgers from McDonalds for everyone - 50 of them to be exact. Dude at McDonalds is listening to a radio for some reason?

"What should the American people be concerned about in terms of this countdown? Is this a time for panic, is it a time for calm? What is the President not telling us?" the reporter asked, but everyone else in the McDonald's was ignoring it.

At least Brad gets McDonalds right, I guess.

"Where's the McRib? I'm not seeing it; did they take away the McRib? What's the McDLT?"

Mullet Rod shows up, and he's angry at Vic. HE was supposed to be the party hero by bringing everyone food. Rod orders 50 salads! Cue comedy trumpet Wah-wah!

Bryce seduces Lilith.

"Tonight baby, we are going to fuck."

"I look forward to it," she said sarcastically. "I love it when you get the burger shits and the beer piss while you're in bed. It makes me think that Ronald McDonald is breathing grease right into my face."

Rod arrives with his faggy salads.

"You get out of here with your damn salads," Kurt shouted. "We have booze. We have burgers. We are not at one of your high-society McDonald’s salad parties!"

YEAH! FUCK HIGH SOCIETY AND THEIR SALADS!!! WHOOO!

Kurt challenges Mullet Rod to a 10 burger challenge. But this goes no where. Laura still working on that paper, finds a quiet empty room and decides to call Nerd, because she wants an A on that paper by damn.

Fletcher was laying down in his own bed, though while Diana looked perfectly normal sitting in Lexi’s room and talking on the phone, Fletcher, in his dimly lit bedroom, was on his back, completely naked, and next to his mannequin, which also had its clothes removed. “Got a pen?” he asked Diana.

End of chapter, for fuck's sake.

[Complicity]

4 chapters, and the mandatory black dude who's going to breed Laura hasn't been introduced yet.
Maybe Nerd Biden is going to transform himself into Tyrone with the help of his Weird Science?
I also predict that the mullet gang will end up with a gay orgy.