The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Let's put a lid on this bad boy...

The DHI Autistic Book Club
The Lightbringer x Angel Armor: Let There Be Darkness
by Lewis Lovhaug.
Introduction
protected by Fair Use, bitch

Unofficial Crossover Movie Poster (4,000 hours in MS Paint)Show

I have issues.
I'm also particularly proud of 90's Kid, Doctor Linksano and "Did you learn your lesson?" Meme Linkara.

I also may or may not reuse this for my secret At4W fanfic project that may or may not be real. If Linkara continues to let his storyline lanquish in development hell, I'll have to continue his legacy. My way.

The Lightbringer may have had his came appearance in Angel Armor Book 4 (where he did pretty much fuckall), but this is different. In the beginning of January, in the year of our Lord 2007, history was written, for the Great Linkara would enter the wild world of webcomics to team up with the Lightbringer in order to defeat the vile Dorkbringer.
And hopefully not have a cringy-ass temper tantrum.

The Lightbringer Crash CourseShow

Now I haven't actually done a proper reading of Linkara's magnum opus (yet), but here's the general gist of it:

The Lightbringer is Carter Granholme (which isn't important to remember because I'm just gonna call him Lightbringer for simplicity's sake), the proud owner of a furniture store in Pharos City, the biggest shithole town in the United Shitholes of America, featuring a positively Gorian society where the roaming gangs are parading around their female (sex) slaves in broad daylight. Because the author is an idiot with a rape fetish.

For reasons which I'm not sure are ever explained, the Lightbringer has had effectively Green Lantern powers ever since he was a child.
He's also a bit fucked in the head, because...

• ... he's a giant pussy.
• ... his parents got killed, just like Batman's.
• ... before his parents got killed, they indoctrinated him into the most retarded interpretation of pacifism. They would've literally hated him if he had done anything to stop the murder beyond saying "Please don't do that, okay?".

Though after letting one too many fair maidens get raped, he finally realizes that sitting around doing nothing won't get him anywhere.

I hate myself for dragging Geed into this mess.

The Lightbringer WebcomicShow

In order to I guess have a more "authentic" capeshit experience, the various pages of the Lightbringer webcomic are separated into "issues" with a page count in the lower 20s. The Crossover story makes up issues 6 and 7.

Now I can already see some issues with this enforced format: You can pretty much guarantee that there will be a cliffhanger every 20-ish pages. And I'm pretty sure there's a good chance of pacing issues, as not every issue will necessarily have the same amount of stuff happening in it, but can't deviate too much from the allowed page range.

This also gives him an excuse to draw shitty mock comic book covers - which proudly mention the artist as a certain "(Ted) Sage".
There is no Ted Sage. While Linkara would later find multiple artists to draw for him, these early issues were all his work. He just came up with a fake artist to make the fake covers for his fake comic look more "legit".
Suddenly, I have to wonder if the editors for the last two Angel Armor books were even real...

He also liked posting fan art, which I won't show here but rest assured that everyone draws better than he does.

I will also omit the last couple pages of issue 7 since they don't have anything to do with this crossover. They just involve Lightbringer fighting some lame villain as part of some "Crossover Wars" thing - because Linkara was apparently always obsessed with doing dumb crossovers with other losers, even before his more infamous work for Crossoverlord and Channel Awesome.

Next Time: I guess the first 3 or 4 pages? I'm still not 100% sure how many of those I should tackle per post.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Let There Be Darkness, Part 1
(Or: What's WRONG with your FACE?!)

Let's all enter this brave new world of webcomics!

And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

The Unofficial Let There Be Darkness Opening SongShow

If this song is good enough for team-ups involving those Japanese heroes of light, it's good enough for the heroes of the Great Linkara.

I'm just gonna do riffing for this one. It's just pictures, anyways.

RiffingShow

Despite this crossover making up issues 6 and 7 of this heroic tale, I'm actually gonna start with the end of issue 5, as it, in true cliffhanger fashion, is the actual debut of our main villain.

Thankfully we don't need to know anything about issue 5. The Lightbringer just beat up some asshole in a tuxedo, and according to that first panel sperged about the cast of Watchmen. I was never more glad to start this shit in the middle.
And just as our hero flies off into the sky, the Dorkbringer enters the webcomic work in all of his dark splendo-

BEHOLDShow

Oh boy.

Yeah, maybe it wasn't the best of ideas to put on your Sunday best before getting yourself recruited in some evil cult and getting turned into a Bootleg Chaos Warrior. The vest is already weird enough, but it's the tie that really "sells" it.
Seriously why the fuck does he keep that thing on? Does he want people to make fun of him? He looks like a Mormon-themed wrestler.
And WTF is that on his his upper arms? He has oddly flat shoulder armor, and then these other things. Is that also armor? The fuck does he want to protect with those tiny-ass discs?

I also have to question his reason for being in this webcomic to begin with. Varek explicitly told him to fuck off so there would be someone left to spread the words and wisdom of the Darkness - so why the fuck is he trying to start shit with some capeshitter who doesn't even know he exists? Just because he has light-based powers? Really?

Oh well, onto the cover.

I'd buy that for a DollarShow

Cute that he has also come up with a fake comic book publisher.
Less cute is the lack of text beyond the comics main title. Almost all of the Lightbringer's covers are like this, and it's bullshit. This is supposed to be the thrilling start of the "Let There Be Darkness" saga, so put that fucking title on the fucking cover.
And for such a "dark" storyline this cover is awfully bright. In fact this is the most snow-blindness-inducing cover of the entire series.

We also have an official author's note for this

It's a new year and a new Issue for Lightbringer! Hope you had a nice New Year! Issue 6 will feature my first prominent use of shading, a few of the initial pages featuring my initial testings with it in PSP before we get some better use in the later pages.

The Lightbringer has shading now. It's on like Donkey Kong !
And you've done this comic with PaintShop Pro? Money well spent

Onto the first page, where we get to marvel at bits and pieces of the Great Linkara (and questionable perspective).

Establishing shots are for losersShow

Oh joy. Looks like Linkara's upgraded armor has the power to grant him whatever bullshit magic the plot demands, all so he can get shit done without Indow around.
Don't you just love it when a crossover has a the characters pull off shit they've never been able to before? This team-up is off to a great start.

And let's meet the Lightbringer's main cast!

This chick looks pissedShow

I love how he's attributing 3/4 of the work to someone who doesn't exist.
And I know the entire internet has made fun of the inept art at this point, but I'd like to point out a few things which appear to be conscious decisions by the artist:

• Why is everyone rocking a onehead? Was Minnesota in this universe ravaged by a Microcephaly epidemic?
• What's up with the inconsistent character profiles? Lightbringer's looking (relatively) normal here, but then you have Purple Chick (and Linkara earlier) drawn with an animu snout. They wouldn't even look like the same species in 3D. Pick one style and stick with it, FFS.

You might also be wondering why the Lightbringer has brown hair in his civilian identity when he's blonde in his capeshit getup. I wondered it myself, and stumbled upon the explanation on accident in issue 13:


Dude just has instant hair dye. I guess it also comes off just as fast when he needs to turn back into a normie, but apparently he never has to worry about it getting washed out when it rains or something?
JFC dude, just get a helmet or a cowl.

Anyhow, apparently there's some relationship drama going on because Purple Chick knows about the Lightbringer's heroic exploits while Blonde Chick doesn't, and they keep it a secret from her because reasons.
We also get subtle easter eggs of the events from Book 4:

Is Purple Chick a cyclops?Show

Why is the headline showing a picture of the place of the final battle (with at least Varek, no less) when it's not actually about the final battle? And that sad MissingNo. looks a lot smaller than I expected.

We round out this part of the riffing with two pages of more relationship drama. Lots of words spent on Blonde Chick thinking that Purple Chick is banging their boss.

Man that black guy's HUGEShow

Fun fact: Despite Purple Chick being just about to tell Blonde Chick about how their boss is actually the Lightbringer before getting rudely interrupted by the Dorkbringer, Blonde Chick would only find out about it six issues later. And it wasn't even planned.

Next Time: The first epic confrontation of light and darkness!

[Le Redditeur]

>Steel Dragon Comics

He wanted a Purple Dragon Dildo in his ass, but he had to compromise I guess.

[wulfenlord]

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Yes. God is dead, and we are in hell.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Let There Be Darkness, Part 2
(Or: The Evil Pink Eye)



The Dorkbringer has made his move - and he just so happens to crash some kind of diner while the webcomic's two main waifus were inside. What a coincidence

And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

Linkara stalks the empty warehouses of Pharos City in search for the Dorkbringer, helped by his newfound magic abilities he has pulled out of his ass.

Meanwhile, the main cast of the webcomic has some weird kind of relationship triangle going on. Let me break it down:

• Blonde Chick and Purple Chick are working for the Lightbringer at his furniture store.
• For reason I don't care enough about to look up, Purple Chick knows that her boss is the Lightbringer, and apparently she assists him as some kind of female Alfred.
• Both are terrible at being inconspicuous, so Blonde Chick couldn't help but notice that the two like spending quality time with each other. Not sure how that happened seeing as the Lightbringer appears to prefer operating at night, but it happened.
• This on the other hand has Purple Chick worried that Blonde Chick might think they're fucking, and that one of them is trying to take advantage of the other with their employer/employee relation.

The Lightbringer, being a man of action and all, doesn't seem to care and just leaves it to Purple Chick to decide whether or not Blonde Chick should learn of their dirty little secret.
Dunno about you, but loading up all that responsibility on her is a bit of a dick move, especially since this whole drama is about him having a secret identity.

Purple Chick plans to spill the beans to Blonde Chick at some diner, but then the Dorkbringer makes his first move just before she can actually get to that bean-spilling. How convenient.

I also noticed something fucked up about the panel layout, and now I can't unsee it: Not only are the margins between panels pretty fucking thicc, but there are vertical lines running down the outer edge of the panels that inexplicably do not stop at the margins.

WTFShow

Apparently he draws an outer border first and then draws the borders for the panels.


He could just draw the panel borders directly. Or put that outer guideline border in a separate layer, to be safely disposed off once he's done. But no, he just does it like that, and he would continue do to it for as long as he was the artist of this webcomic.

RiffingShow

The actual cliffhanger of the Dorkbringer breaking into the diner is finally shown for one panel, and then we're immediately back to the furniture store, where the Lightbringer advertizes his collection of sitting furniture.
Personally, I'd have put the cliffhanger into the previous page, but whatever.

Naughty TentaclesShow

"This furniture does not rust!"

Good to know. I hate it when that happens.

Anyhow, there's apparently some interesting shit on the news.

What's with the random MissingNo. reference?Show

So you have only four employees in total? Including yourself? Then why do you let half of your workforce hang out at a diner at the same time?

And in case you're wondering who that goth chick is...

Special cameo appearance by Cassandra SinClair from Anne Onymous' excellent comic The Wotch! If we were in the Wotch universe, Cassandra would've already made short work of her kidnapper and been out of there, but sadly, she does not have her magical abilities in this universe...

...OR DOES SHE?!

Well, no, not really. Well, maybe...

In any case, this is my first use of a new shading thing I'm trying. Hopefully it'll work well enough for me to use it permanently.

Really? The Wotch?
Then again, I can see why he'd be a fan of it:

• The art is only marginally less shitty, despite having a separate artist.
• It was also surprisingly popular for a time. Mostly thanks to the rampant transformation fetish stuff, but it probably gave Linkara some hope hat he'd be able to "make it", too.
• The main character is overpowered and never has to face the consequences of her actions.
• The main villain is a lot like Thesia in that he gets teased forever without really doing much of anything. I'm honestly not sure he and the main character ever actually met.

(Also her name is indeed canonically written as "SinClair", inexplicable upper case in the middle and all.)

And apparently this is the grand debut of his new shading technique. It's kinda fucking with my eyes a bit.

Thankfully, the very next page has no shading.

This kid is staring into my soulShow

No shading for this page, sadly, due to the fact that there were so many people in it. @_@ Heck, even I felt drained just trying to draw halfway-decent looking people in the crowd. Eventually I just gave up on the premise of having everyone have faces and simply made the shapes of others a little farther back in the crowd.

Lazy fuck.

At least we know why nobody ever uses snipers against Dark Knights: It just doesn't work, okay?!
And here we meet the main cop of the story, who is heavily Batman-coded:

• Grey hair
• Likes the Lightbringer (and he'd better do, considering this shithole town had a literal slave caste before he showed up)
• Has a fucking Lightbringer Signal.

I have no idea what he's actually called, but I'm just gonna call him Games Jordon.
Also is it appropriate for the chief of police to smoke cigarettes during an active hostage situation?

The next page features the stunning return of the shading!

Crackle-Pow!Show

After seeing how the shading came out on this page, I'm sticking with it. Thanks to everyone out there who helped me develop it!

Also, get used to seeing the blue gradient sky for a while. Sorry, but there are very few pages in the upcoming weeks that don't feature it. ^^;;

Don't worry. It wouldn't be a webcomic without lazy gradient backgrounds.

The perspective's kinda fucking with me. I get that he's holding out one of his arms, but in that first panel both hands have the same size, so it just ends up looking like his left bracer is huge.

The author's also trying to be cute by having the two characters mirror their thoughts, in order to I guess sell them as destined rivals or something.
There are a few problems with that setup:

• They've never met each other.
• It's a bit on the nose.
• Those are a lot of thoughts from both of them. Just how long did it take the Lightbringer to reach the roof?

Also JFC motherfucker, how can the Darkness talk to you when it's DEAD? Make it make sense.

And now, finally, the great meeting of the minds.

WTF is that speech bubble arrangement?Show

>despite my training to the contrary
Excuse me for a sec.


Much better. Where was I?
Ah, yes. After some smug thoughts the Dorkbringer reveals that he doesn't actually give a shit about the hostages and just wanted a big audience. Of about three people. Okay.
Also it appears he really is just obsessed with the Lightbringer due to his power set. What a fucking idiot.

So the hostages piss off, and it appears that Blonde Chick has the hots for the Lightbringer - but only in his hero identity. Truly breaking new ground here.

Blonde Chick is staring into my soulShow

"Just because I kidnapped a few people doesn't make me evil!"


Will these darkfags ever make sense?

Also apparently the Dorkbringer can go super evil if he wants to:

KaREEEEEEEEE~Show

On what drugs is this guy on?

>muh eternal stalemate between good and evil
Except all the bad guys got their asses kicked in the books.

>fight evil with evil guys who pretend that they're not evil while doing obvious evil shit
LMAO. This is some literal "It's okay when we do it!" shit. At least he's almost self-aware?

And what say you, oh author?

Wow, an arty shot! We haven't had one of those in awhile!

And yes, "iniquitousness" is a word.

This was one of the few pages of the comic that I actually scripted out. Not a highly detailed one, mind you, but the dialogue needed to be worked in right. See, it's difficult for me to come up with the philosophy/religion of the Darkness beyond what has been seen in my books and even then, it's been mostly about rejecting happiness. Since I don't believe in the same things as the Darkness, my logical little mind has trouble coming up with rationalizations for the terrible things that followers of the Darkness do (not that I agree with the rationalizations), since they believe themselves to be morally perfect. The original scripting for this page had a looooot of text bubbles, so many so that I fear if I had included everything, the entire page would've just been text. As such, I made sure to streamline it down and I actually like the results here. Okay, we've got a baseline for the Darkbringer's beliefs here, so now let's examine why he thinks heroism and the light are wrong in the next two pages.

>I actually scripted this
Shouldn't you do that for every page?
>rejecting happiness
Will that ever be explained? Beyond "Hope is lame and gay" I guess.
>I have trouble coming up with rationalizations for the Darkness


I might have noticed that.
Also he's lying. We will be seeing a fucking wall of text soon enough.

Next Time: The Wheel of Fate is turning. Rebel 1. Action!

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Let There Be Darkness, Part 3
(Or: I'm Gonna Scratch Yer Eyes Out)



The fated clash between the star-crossed lovers rivals Lightbringer and Dorkbringer is on. Just who could possibly win?!

(Judging by Linkara having yet to properly appear, I'd say the Lightbringer will get his ass kicked.)

And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

So it turns out the Dorkbringer kidnapped like three people (including the two main female characters of this webcomic, which didn't actually end up mattering aside from giving the Lightbringer a good excuse to close his store for the day and suit up) and just dumped them on a roof just to wait for the Lightbringer to hopefully show up, which he eventually did.

The Dorkbringer blesses us with a Varek-tier speech about how smiling is bad and he is actually the good guy while the heroes are the bad guys, because hope is a lie or something.
Not a whole lot we haven't rolled our eyes at already, but Linkara (the author) managed to sprinkle in some new nuggets of deep lore:

• Apparently the Dorkbringer originally just wanted to swindle some cool powers out of Varek, but then he saw the light darkness.
• Turns out that if you get turned into a Dark Knight and spend a variable amount of time in some kind of seizure your mind is spending what feels like an eternity chatting with the Darkness.
  • It's a bit weird that Varek didn't mention this and just went "It takes a different amount of time for everyone, and sometimes you just die". Is this a retcon, or another case of muh different Earthling physiology?
  • I'm not entirely sure how you can be chatting with the Darkness if the Darkness is famously dead. Must be a chatbot.
• Dude straight up admits that he and the previous Dark Knights are evil assholes who commit acts of evil assholery for the sake of being evil assholes - but since their cause is a just and righteous one, their sins are automatically forgiven.
  • They're pretty much more honest MovieBlobs, no bad practices and all.

Furthermore, Linkara (the author) almost becomes self-aware of his autism, commenting about how he has a hard time seeing things from the Dark Knights' point of view - which probably explains why their justifications have always been an incoherent mess.
And I get it. You wanna be a big boy author who wants to tell deep and philosophical stories. But if your main villain can't justify himself beyond "I'm the real good guy. Also smiling is bad", he's not really any less shallow than Lithmenar's parents (who were just evil for the lulz).
But it's okay, man. Simple villains aren't necessarily bad. Sometimes, you just wanna have a guy who turns people into dinosaurs because it's fun.

ExampleShow

RiffingShow

When we last left our villain, he shot a beam of darkness at the Lightbringer. How does our hero handle it?

BadlyShow

He's a dark magician who sounds like a deranged cultist and can do demon faces - complete with a creepy voice distortion, I assume - on command. Also he was already attacking you when you flew up the roof. How did you ever manage to lower your guard near this guy?
Well, at least his blast is just a glorified punch. If he had used a gun you'd be dead right now.
At least I don't think that superhuman resilience is part of his power set.

Also apparently it's universally accepted and known in this universe that magic guys are faster. Okay.
This also means the Lightbringer knows that magic is real (and a fair bit about it as well), but let's keep that can of worms closed.

Oh, and the Dorkbringer can apparently change the background by punching someone. That's a cool trick.

It is then that the Dorkbringer decides to unleash his most powerful spell yet: Wall of Text.

Save vs. CringeShow

Holy shit. Even Tim Buckley would tell you to slow the fuck down. What the hell, man?

There wasn't enough room to explore this within the pages itself, so let me try to explain why exactly the Darkbringer believes the Lightbringer to be evil.

Excuuuuse me? You didn't have enough room? This is your webcomic. You can take as much time for every scene as you fucking want. JFC.

Anyhow, to summarize as far as I can be arsed to do:

• Fuck everyone.
• Happiness leads to envy (as does turning people in Horsema'ams, which is why we let them be happy to make them less awesome).
• Fairy tales suck.
• Nobody can make the world perfect, so why give a shit about anything?

But wait, there's more!

The Darkbringer believes that the binary nature of good and evil forces them into a stalemate, that good cannot completely triumph over evil and that evil cannot fully conquer good. However, because the two forces are forever locked in opposition, there must be a reason why one is not stronger than the other (the Darkbringer believes that might is right, as indicated above). In a twisted way, he believes that because good and evil cannot reconcile with one another, one can lead to the other. After all, the promise of good is that it WILL eventually defeat evil, that it will be a shining light over that cannot be forever blotted out.

Since this is, in the eyes of the Darkbringer, an impossibility, it makes the idea of good into a lie. Since good is then committing an act of evil by lying, it indicates that maybe good and evil are of a similar nature, or at least that being purely good is an hypocrisy. As such, the only way to end such a dilemma is to knowingly adopt the methods of the opponent, ergo one must become partially evil in order to destroy true evil. He then believes that his soul will not be tarnished by the evil he commits because the Darkness protects it. But since he also knows that those who claim to be of the light, of the pure and good, are also hypocrites and no better than pure evil itself, he thinks that they are equally his enemy and must be destroyed.

So to further summarize:

• Good's "promise" of "defeating evil" is a lie, because of his unwarranted belief that neither Good nor Evil can ever triumph over the other.
• Therefore Good is actually Evil, and everyone doing good is actually evil.
• So you can do evil shit to the Evil that is Good while still remaining "good".
• It's still pretty much "It's okay when I do it"

Even in the best case, the dude is just a nihilistic doomer faggot.
Kinda like if Desmond was threatening to shoot others instead of himself.


In true Linkaran fashion, the Dorkbringer's little mind rape visions include actual rape. The Lightbringer gets pissed and retaliates.

I cast FIST!Show

The previous page made it look like this darkness had engulfed him fully, but that one also had a different background, so who knows what's going on with time and space here.

The two have a glorified fistfight until the Dorkbringer realizes he can just shank the guy.

Atchka!Show

Really? You can conjure dark energy at will, and you decide to scratch him?

Instead of shanking him some more - or slitting his throat - the Dorkbringer just tosses him off the building and waves him goodbye, hoping that he'd be too weak to fly I assume.

The Lightbringer kinda looks like a worm in profileShow

Btw we already know him being the "first superhero" is bullshit because there have been an unkown number of Linkaras working in secret (thanks, Angel Armor Book 4).
And check out the entitlement on this guy. Nobody else will continue his legacy (and appropriate his name), so the future is doomed? Get the fuck outta here.

The dialogue for this one (particularly the ending) is supposed to be a callback to last year's "Countdown to Infinite Crisis," quite possibly one of the best Blue Beetle stories of all time. It's terrible, though, that he dies at the end of it. However, he mentions how he is the second person to be the Blue Beetle and he tells himself there will be a third. However, it's really tough to have a legacy when you believe you're the only person on the planet with superpowers.

So he appropriated, twisted and turned something that doesn't even apply to the Lightbringer? Okay.

Having decided that was enough melodrama for now, the Lightbringer musters up all of his remaining strength to create a grappling hook.

It kinda looks like he's floatingShow

It's not enough, but just when he's about to fall for good...

Self-Inserts Unite!Show

And really, Dorkbringer? You already know that Varek's dead, so why are you surprised that Linkara would pop out to finish you off, too?
You should be less shocked and amazed and more busy blasting those two fuckers.

Time to meet the Great Linkara (the character) in all of his 2D glory!

He's pretty close to the wall for someone who needs wings to flyShow

There's an awful lot of black on his outfit. If it weren't for the wings the Dorkbringer would have more white. Weird.

Next Time: Will twice the self-inserts deliver twice the pleasure?

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Let There Be Darkness, Part 4
(Or: Nani?!)



We've already left Issue #6 behind us, and now it's time for the team-up of the century! Linkara's two self-inserts are finally united. What could possibly go wrong?!

And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

The Dorkbringer gets the drop on Lightbringer because the guy somehow lowered his guard in front of the deranged lunatic with magic powers. He promptly gets tormented with the Dorkbringer's weird subjective morality about how Good is Evil and therefore Evil is Good or some shit.
Or the torment was getting visions of suffering all across the world beamed into his mind. Whatever you think is worse.

The Lightbringer eventually manages to escape the mind rape session, but after a short brawl he ends up getting shanked and yeeted off of the roof. Luckily for him Linkara shows up to save him from certain doom.

Also while falling the Lightbringer was a bit of an egocentric drama queen, lamenting that the whole world is doomed because he's (allegedly) the world's first and only capeshitter, and no one will ever be awesome enough to replace him upon his death

We also find out that Linkara (the author) either has a set schedule or is too lazy to draw more than what's absolutely necessary, 'cause when he runs into situations involving more text than planned he'd rather drown the page in walls of text instead of just adding one or two extra pages to give the story some breathing room.
I have no idea why he does this (aside from autism and/or laziness). It's his webcomic. There is no excuse for this shit because he has 100% control over every facet of this whole production.

RiffingShow

A new "issue" means a new "cover". Behold:

Elbow Drop on My Enemies!Show

I guess it's more interesting than last time, but there are still some issues:

• What's up with the margins? The oversized copyright thing he puts on every page is almost cut off here.
• Why are they standing in multi-colored fire?
• Why are the oblivious of the Dorkbringer, who's going all "Surpriser, motherfuckers!" on them?
• The layout combined with the character placements makes it look like the characters are hanging out next to their own name.
• It'd require so little editing to make it look like the two self-inserts are in love that I'm not even gonna do it.
  Plus I have a better picture to defile for the next recap.

Before we can continue with our regularly scheduled plot, we have to suffer through a flashback of the Lightbringer's childhood.

Childhood Trauma, ho!Show

"Dammit, woman! This boy needs to learn that there is no hope in this world!"

LMAO, I don't think the Dorkbringer could ever mind rape him harder than his parents already did

Oh, and that outer border thing I complained about last time? It also comes with horizontal bars. I just didn't notice it before because this is the first page in the entire storyline to have two panels on the first row and last row.

Surprisingly, Linkara actually stays in character here.
In that he is an obnoxious asshole to a guy he just met for no reason.

Why isn't the Dorkbringer blasting him already?Show

The fuck?

While I didn't like most of the changes made to the movie version of V For Vendetta, I loved the opening monologue he gave to Evey (including the funny line about "asking a man in a mask who he is") so much I had to homage it here. You'd be surprised just how bloody hard it is to find so many "L" words.

Translated, Louis' dialogue is: "Ah! Let me speak and tell a legendary story. This place of jumping and wounds keeps good guys fighting bad guys. I have come to assist you and free you of your weaknesses. Of late, I have learned a history of knowledge when I'm not hanging out on a parallel world. Disbelieve me if you wish, but people like us (superheroes) love the exaggeratingly absurd. Light is my ideal, as is yours, so let me just say it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me Louis."

I don't care if it's an homage. It's fucking obnoxious - and also not the time and place for it. There's some evil wizard above you, and the guy you're holding is currently bleeding to death or something. Why do you recite some overly long and nonsensical bullshit (which you probably practiced for for who knows how long)? What the fuck.

Speaking of bleeding to death, that's apparently not an issue for the Great Linkara:

Holy shit this street is HUGE. You could drive a Zord through itShow

Yeah, so he can just heal people now. In record speed, no less. As if he wasn't overpowered enough already.

At the time of this writing, this page is my absolute favorite so far. I love the poses I got them in for the last panel and the expressions on their faces are awesome - a strong, confident smile for both. Plus I love how the shading/highlighting turned out

You're proud of the expression? Linkara's has had this dumb smirk ever since he showed up, and Lightbringer can barely emote beyond changing his mouth because his Microcephaly doesn't leave much room for his eyebrows.
And the poses? Really? WTF is Linkara even doing here? Why isn't he flying more like Lightbringer? What the fuck is this squat he's doing?

Huh...

Also why does Lightbringer think that team-ups tend to end in disaster?

Anyhow, they finally decide to fly up, and Commissioner Jordon wants in on the action.

Also the two have swapped their flying posesShow

The Lightbringer is still heartbroken over no longer being as special as he thought he was. Though he does raise a good question: Why isn't Linkara covering up his face? I thought his armor could do that?

(Fun fact: This page does have an author's comment, but it's a copy-paste of the V for Vendatta one)

The answer is pretty dumb:

Vanity, thy Name is LinkaraShow

Really? You now have selective illusion powers? Just so Linkara (the author) can draw you with your face in full display, without having to worry about your identity being revealed?
What the fuck, man? Also shouldn't you want to cover up your face as much as possible? Your armor is pretty much indestructible, and most instances of you losing a fight involved getting hit in your pretty boy face.

And what's with the "Nice to see you again"? The only time you ever met was during one fight, and the book mentioned mulitple times that Linkara was explicitly ignoring the Dorkbringer.

(Also this has another copy-paste of an author's comment. This one is the one where he's proud of the cool poses and expressions.)

The Dorkbringer and Linkara get ready for a fight (which gets a bit ruined by Linkara referencing Mr. Mackey), when suddenly...

Schlink!Show

What are you shouting "No!" for, Lightbring-

Nani?!Show

The Lightbringer blasts Linkara, allowing the Dorkbringer to make a run for it.

What.
The.
Fuck?

Oh, and the cops are there to try and apprehend the Dorkbringer, but when did they ever matter?

Next Time: Relationship drama involving our two self-inserts?!

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Let There Be Darkness, Part 5
(Or: I cast GURO!)



So, err, I guess our heroes are gonna let the Dorkbringer get away because they're too busy arguing with each other for some reason?

And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

So Linkara patches up the Lightbringer with the help of his new plot device magic. They quickly team up and return to the Dorkbringer, with him and Linkara acting like old enemies even though they've never actually interacted with each other before.
Then Linkara gets ready to beat the shit out the Dorkbringer, only for the Lightbringer to blast his new ally, giving their enemy a chance to make a run for it.


Oh, and another one of Linkara's new powers is to make people think that his face is covered up in order to protect his identity.
Instead of, you know, actually covering his face up - which he has done in the past like twice -, which would actually do something in case someone punches him in the face.

RiffingShow

So to the surprise of no one, the cops don't turn out to be that big of a deal and just force the Dorkbringer to use a different way of escape.

He's almost doing a Naruto RunShow

That's a Chaos Shield? Weren't they personal force fields (or area-of-effect ones if enough spellcasters were present) that lasted longer than a few seconds? What the hell, man?

And the whole drama was caused because the Lightbringer was afraid that Linkara might accidentally kill his opponent.
Never mind that this little stunt from Lightbringre could've gotten both of them killed if the Dorkbringer had decided to attack instead of run.


You know, it's kinda funny that this whole crossover could've been a lot shorter if Linkara had only decided to kick Dorkbringer in the balls.

Also what the fuck is going on with Linkara's wings?

The little effect coming out of Louis' back? That's his wings retracting back in.

Ah, thanks.

They get chewed out by Commissioner Jordon and decide to chase after the Dorkbringer.

Why is Lightbringer flying like that?Show

Really? He still can't fly? What gives?
And how fast can this fucker swing around that these two wouldn't be able to find him in like 5 minutes?

On their way to track down the world's fastest acrobat, the Great Linkara brings the webcomic-only readers an abridged version of the Angel Armor saga:

WTF is Indow wearing on her head?Show

He hasn't actually explained that his powers come from a gauntlet, but whatever.

Chibikara is fucking peak, though. Though he still doesn't really explain why he decided on a Pacifist Run between books.
Also love how this summary effectively skips Book 3, such is the amount of plot-relevant content found wihtin.

So, there you have it - the rather abridged breakdown of the first four books of Angel Armor. Also, that picture of Indow in the top right corner of the panel comes from a sketch I did of her years ago, back in the days when if I cranked out a picture every three months or so, there was a good chance it'd look fairly good (not something I'm planning on doing for this comic, however).

Lazy fuck. No wonder she's looking a bit out of place by virtue of not being chibi.

The Lightbringer is a bit concerned about Linkara's murderous ways, but he manages to convince the him that he no longer kills by channeling the power of Batman lore:

WTF is that grey stuff in the background?Show

Really? "Cassandra Cain"? How is that better than just going "I don't kill anymore, okay?"

Cassandra Cain is the third woman to be Batgirl. She also had a strict moral code that resulted after she had killed someone as a child and realized how wrong it was to kill, hence the connection in the above page.

She was raised to read people like a book from their body language, and seeing the body language of a dude dying for the first time freaked her out so much that she swore to never kill ever again.
Meanwhile Linkara was hooting and hollering at the prospect of slaughtering people until he arbitrarily decided he no longer wanted to.
Except when a stranger he doesn't know swears to him that the enemy knights he doesn't know are totally incapable of actually dying, then he goes right back to eviscerating people like it's Mortal Kombat.
Now that I think about it, I can see now why he left out Book 3 in his summary.

Sadly my attempts at drawing the full Pharos City continue to meet with less than success. That weird grayish background there is an attempt to create smog that would obscure buildings... with poor results.

Oh, so that's what that is? Personally I wouldn't have bothered, 'cause that ominous grey wall looks downright apocalyptic.

The Lightbringer checks up on his harem just before they find the Dorkbringer's lair.

Man that table's HUGEShow

"Crane" is the actual name of Commissioner Jordon, btw. I'm still gonna call him Jordon, though.
This is also the last time we see one of the two chicks in this story arc. I think Linkara (the author) just forgot about Purple Chick wanting to tell Blonde Chick about their boss' secret identity, because she wouldn't find out until Issue #12. Good job.

And of course they're not gonna sneak into the building. A real Linkaran hero always charges in like a fucking idiot.

Double KaREEEEE~Show

The new and improved Linkara somehow manages to suck balls here (the reason of course being that this is a Lightbringer story), and the Dorkbringer has no issues curbstomping both heroes.

This is also where he starts developing an annoying verbal tic that probably sounded a lot cooler in his head.

Let there be CringeShow

Seriously, man? WTF is wrong with you?

Also I think Linkara's holding those anti-magic shackles that got mentioned at the end of Book 4. Who knows if they will ever be explained here.

It is then that the Dorkbringer decides to set his beam's power output to something more impressive than "Punch".

This is just like my favorite doujinsShow

Hot dayum. That ought to smart. I might actually be concerned if I didn't know that Linkara can fix this with a pad on the back.

That last panel is also the most impressive so far in terms of perspective. Not much, but credit where credit is due.
Now if only the Dorkbringer's head would stop changing its shape every panel...

Next Time: The stunning finale of the crossover to end all crossovers! Just how fucked are our heroes?!

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Let There Be Darkness, Part 6
(Or: Not with a Bang, but with a Whimper)



The grand finale has arrived. Will our heroes perish, or will they rise up to be big damn heroes?!
Judging by this webcomic continuing for several more chapters, I think it's somewhere in the middle.

And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

(I will never get tired of that expression.)

So it turns out that the Lightbringer knocked down Linkara because he didn't want the kid to endager the health of the magic psychopath by waving around his fancy arm blades. Naturally, the psychopath manages to get away.

They give chase, during which Linkara embiggens us all with an abridged version of the Angel Armor saga which still doesn't really explain why he stopped murdering the fuck out of people. He just did, okay?
The Lightbringer isn't entirely convinced of Linkara's pacifistic ways, but the kid convinces him that he can be trusted by revealing that he is a fellow capefag.

They make their way to the Dorkbringer's hideout (aka some oversized table inside of an abandoned warehouse), where the guy managed to beat the shit out of the dynamic duo.
Then he sets his magic to "Kill", and the Lightbringer ends up getting penetrated by his big black energy beams.

RiffingShow

Instead of just blasting Linkara as well, the Dorkbringer conjures a dagger to finish him off - and a real physical one at that, instead of "just" an energy one like last time. Who knows what the difference is.

Why is Linkara so FLAT in this?Show

Tbf, I wouldn't put it past his armor to just regrow his head. Also title drop!

But it turns out that the Lightbringer is still alive and kicking!

It's just a Flesh WoundShow

I fear I have to whine and bitch with regards to continuity.
So the guy gets stabbed between the ribs with a blade made out of dark energy, and he's immediately at death's door and can't do shit no more. But when that same energy punches a hole through his chest, he can just power through? And how does his spine still work?

The Dorkbringer is also a bit dumb. How do you not notice immediately that you're handcuffed?

Notice anything? While the Crossover Wars stuff has hinted at it a bit, what we've got here is a new art style, people! The exaggerations of the faces only last for this page thanks to a tutorial, but we're going to be getting better proportions from now on! Issue 8 will featuer it the most prominently, though. ^_^

Why are you only changing up your style for one page in this issue?
And why do you change it at all here? I'd love less shit art as much as the next guy, but if you insist on grouping your pages into issues you might as well stay consistent within the same issue like an actual comic would.

With his last ounce of strengh, Lightbringer finishes his new nemesis off.

Dorkbringer's looking pretty bored hereShow

Oh, so he guessed that these shackles might be useful? Did Linkara not manage to find the 5 seconds it would've taken him to go "Oh btw, I have these anti-magic shackles that will allow us to turn his powers off"?

Man, could you imagine if those WERE a superhero's last words? Oh, wait...

Even in his final moments, the Lightbringer can't help but shit on capeshit moments that have triggered him.

Of course we know that Linkara can now heal people, so guess what happens next?

Linkara whispered softly into his ear to call the copsShow

So the bad guy's just gone from the comic now. We don't see him lying around, and we won't see him getting dragged off by the cops. The show's just over, and the two incels are ready to talk over important shit like comic books.

Just how long did they sperg about Scarlet Witch?Show

Four women would end up getting raped that night, because the Lightbringer decided to go home early.
And Linkara's afraid of his mom? Doesn't she know who the real head of the household is ?

Also time for useless trivia:

For those wondering why there's a solid-metal building there with no windows and a huge reflective arc across it, that's Steel Tower, one of the seven towers (including Lodestar Tower) owned by the seven businessmen who originally created Pharos City. The entire building is covered with steel panels that can be lifted should an individual wish to look out the window, but since it's near the end of the day, most of the panels are shut (save for a few that we can't see because of the angle).

I wonder if this one has similar problems to the Walkie-Talkie

And because people keep praising my pencils for the last panel, I'm afraid I have to point out that I actually used a reference picture for it - the cover to the book Superheroes and Philosophy. Sorry I broke any illusions by pointing out that I sometimes use reference pics. ^_~

The book in questionShow

Good to know that you're a lazy, tracing piece of shit.

As for what Louis is talking about, it's referencing the House of M crossover Marvel did a short while ago. Essentially, the Scarlet Witch goes insane and the other heroes decide they have to kill her so her reality-altering powers don't screw everyone up. It occurred to me after I had read the trade of it that essentially if the Scarlet Witch could really alter reality on such a wide scale, all she'd need is to be sane enough at a point to realize she was insane and fix her own mental issues (or, barring that, have Professor X or another powerful psychic plant the idea within her mind). Oversimplification and a Deus Ex Machina? Perhaps, but bear in mind this is the medium that tried to make us think that Superboy-Prime punching a wall is the reason Hawkman doesn't make any sense, so I don't think my idea's too far out there.

Ah yes, Linkara and mental health in capeshit stories. Nothing ever goes wrong there.
Also your little solution hinges on the insane woman somehow having a lucid moment that lasts long enough for her to decide to fix herself.

But all good things must come to an end, as the Lightbringer returns to his apartment.

Looks like a fine neighborhoodShow

It's funny 'cause his parents are dead.

Then he does what he apparently loves doing: Talking to the photo of his dead parents. I don't think that's healthy, but okay.

I think he might be schizoShow

"I had to knock him out using non-lethal force. Please forgive me!"

Holy shit, did they fuck you up as a child.
Also LMAO at him still being hung up over no longer being the only hero around

Yeah. That's kinda it. Story's over.
He almost had a proper team-up ending when the two were going their separate ways, but he decided to go with this wet fart instead.

*record scratch*

Hang on a sec. What happened to the Ultimate Book of Ultimate Evil? Dude clearly had it with him, but it's never actually brought up by anyone, so fuck if I know what happened to it.

Proof (in the last panel)Show

Next Time: The final verdict, and a little bonus.