The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

wulfenlord · Post by **wulfenlord** » Sat Jun 28, 2025 10:46 am

This isn't the last Angel Armor story...

Post by **VoiceOfReasonPast** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 12:08 pm

Book 4, Chapter 13 - The Break II
(Or: The Linkara Iceberg Explained?)

(I went with this unofficial version because the official full version of the opening has neutered the guitar into the fucking ground, leaving it with none of the energy of the TV cut. It boggles the mind.)

So after... whatever the fuck that last chapter was, we're are apparently about to be hit with a giant exposition dump that will most definitely not contradict anything from the previous books!

"Remember when Indow got raped?" Count: 12
"Baddies Never Smile" Count: 21
And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

So we basically got a repeat of the last time Linkara fucked around and found out, with his Earthling and Sinnian minions flinging shit at the other group until he swaggers into the scene to tell everyone to shut up - except this time the hysteria got cranked up to the point of hilarity.
The two warring factions cycle through endless repetitions of "Nu-uh~, your planet is the shithole one!" until Linkara goes all "SHUT UP, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!"

Attempts to calm him down just have him go full Spoony meltdown on them, including...

... calling his sweetheart a bitch. Twice.
... making fun of Lithmenar's dead sweetheart.
... getting ready to (verbally) tear apart Raven, only to be interrupted by his mom.
... telling his mom she can no longer push him around because he's a manly man now.

He eventually storms off into the pouring rain, almost immediately feels guilty for being such a colossal asshole, decides to literally lie down and die (eventually), and just as quickly decides to keep on living when he meets Old Man Urahara from the antique shop again.

What a fucking drama queen. I bet he was that kind of kid to always "run away" from home at the slightest conflict with his parents, only to come crawling back an hour or so later.
I suppose this was supposed to be our "beloved" optimists' darkest hour, but I was too busy laughing my ass off at the gratuitous angst and melodrama. My sides were in fucking orbit when he settled on the world's laziest suicide attempt, only to pull a 180 in the next paragraph.

In other news, Indow just pisses off into the rain as well (probably to be kidnapped by the Dark Duo), Raven and Thesia decide to hunt for the Dark Duo alone (yeah, good fucking luck with that one), and Lithmenar and Gyaru Casca are big pussies who don't want to go out while it rains.
Speaking of Raven, she spent this entire drama sitting at the sidelines enjoying the show with psychopathic glee. She was just missing popcorn. I can empathize, but it's weird that the other characters, didn't have an issue with that.

Oh, and the big reason for all of this stupid drama is that growing arms back is apparently the one thing magic can't do.
Personally, I suspect Indow just has a thing for amputees. Not that I'd judge. I mean, you know those doujins with quadruple amputee waifus who walk around like dogs? That shit's art.

ChapterShow

Louis wrapped the warm blanket around his battered form carefully, still instinctively trying to reach with his left hand only to find it missing. The old man’s home was actually attached to the antique shop, much to Louis’ surprise, since the building had seemed much smaller when he initially looked at it. The old man had led him to a roaring, hot fireplace for him to dry off and get his bearings.

“Tea?” the man called from the kitchen.

“Hot chocolate, if you’ve got it. I actually can’t stand tea, but I never wanted to hurt Indow’s feelings. She prides herself on her tea.” Louis answered.

“And I’m sure it’s a fine brew. Have you gathered who I am yet?” he called out to Louis as he prepared the drinks.

Louis shrugged as he scooted himself over slightly so he could be closer to the fire. “Well, since my life seems to have become a science fiction book, I have only two guesses. You’re either me from about fifty years in the future...”

“I’m not.” the old man interrupted as he brought in the tea and hot chocolate on a tray.

“...Or you’re the guy responsible for sending me to Sin in the first place.” Louis finished.

“Guilty as charged. I also created the gauntlet. May I see it, by the way?” he requested, sitting down on the couch opposite of Louis’.

Louis nodded and held out his right arm. The old man reached out and he slid it off of his arm, examining it gently. The man had a pair of glasses attached to a string around his neck and he brought them up as he examined Louis’ weapon. He smiled and set the gauntlet down beside him on the couch, pushing the tea tray closer to Louis so he could take his hot chocolate.

“Let me guess – been feeling nauseous? Unsteady? And I bet after your arm was removed, it hasn’t felt right at all?” the old man queried.

Louis nodded.

“It’s a design flaw, one that I think I’ve stamped out. It never works quite right when on Earth. Every other dimension it seems to work perfectly, but for some reason whenever it’s here it acts up.” the old man explained.

“So that’s why I couldn’t beat Varek? The armor was weaker or something?” Louis asked.

“Oh, heavens no. The armor is just as strong as it always has, it’s the user who has the problem.” the old man answered, laughing a little.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your question about the armor being weaker is part of the problem. Tell me something, Louis, have you ever heard the adage that says that might is right?”

Louis nodded. “Of course. It’s true, too. The more powerful take control and it’s from their perspective that history takes shape, thus from that the ‘right’ is based.”

The old man laughed and shook his head, setting down his tea on the tray and leaning back. “Ah, a true product of the 1990s. History isn’t just superior forces winning, you know. There are plenty of examples of the weak overcoming the strong. And the lesson goes far beyond history. Just because you’re very powerful doesn’t mean you’re right.”

Louis sighed and closed his eyes. “I’m not sure what ‘right’ is anymore. I’m sorry, Mr.- um...”

“Thomas. My name’s Thomas.”

“I’m sorry, Thomas, but with everything that’s happened recently, I’m not sure what I should believe.”

Thomas smiled and leaned forward. “Just follow your heart.”

Louis rolled his eyes and groaned. “Oh, come on! Don’t give me that fortune cookie clichéd crap! I need real advice! Okay, might isn’t right, so what the hell is right? What does might have to do with it, if at all?!”

Thomas continued smiling and picked up his tea, taking a sip before he spoke:

“Once upon a time, there was a great King who wanted to do wonderful things for the people of the world. He thought that war should not be a game for vain men to use for their own boredom. He believed that life was worth being lived through freedom, compassion, and generosity to others rather than barbaric plundering and foolishness. The old saying is ‘Might makes right.’ For him, he believed maybe that Might ought to serve right, that the ideal of being a good person should be served by those who were mighty. However, many were ignorant of the ideals he tried to teach. Eventually, through no fault of his own, he was killed by someone that he loved even through all the hardships that person had put him through. Before he died, he charged me with the task of letting his memory live on, to tell all others of what he tried to do. I’ve tried to do that in many ways, although my favorite method was through writing about it. I’ve always felt that the printed word could hold more poignancy and thought than any action, but nevertheless I have come to understand that evil cannot simply be met with our words, but with our strength, as well. That was what this King believed should be done, and that’s why you’re here today, Linkara.”

Thomas picked up the gauntlet and held it in front of Louis. “This is part of your might, Louis. Throughout your journey on Sin, you’ve used it to throw about your power, making your law the right law. And in most cases, that’s been good. You do have a good sense of right and wrong, but you haven’t been doing it because you want to do right. Oh, sure, every once in a while it’s for that reason, but doing the right thing shouldn’t be a once-in-a-while excursion. Varek the Destroyer has physical and magical power that rivals any other individual on Earth.”

Thomas leaned forward, tilting his glasses forward to the edge of his nose. “But you have the strength of heart and spirit that even rivals his devotion to his fallen Darkness. Your optimism and capacity for good have always been your strongest allies, Linkara. You call my advice clichéd, but people often forget that there’s probably a meaning behind the cliché that might actually have some value to it. I don’t roll my eyes at ideas like love, justice, and the powers the heart wields. It’s serious business as long as one knows how to take it seriously, and I believe you’re someone who does. You are the greatest of any who have wielded the armor.”

Louis raised an eyebrow as he picked up his hot chocolate, suddenly very intrigued by this new revelation. “There have been others?”

Thomas nodded. “Many. But you are the only person to unlock both the wings and the crown. I have tried a multitude of ways of trying to promote the ideal of ‘Might for right.’ Sometimes I’d assist the Linkara; other times I’d never reveal myself. Sometimes they acted in secret here on Earth; other times I’d send them to other dimensions.”

Thomas grimaced as he set his tea down, frowning. “Some have been disappointments. Others have met terrible ends. When I saw what had happened to you, Louis, I knew it was time I stepped in to save you. I could not allow the greatest Linkara to fall.”

Louis smiled. “Thanks. Did they all use the same armor? And how come I’ve never heard of them before?”

“I forge the gauntlet whenever I need to create a new Linkara. Someone long ago taught me how to see the future and see who would be the best for the task the king imparted on me. As for why you’ve never heard of it before, it’s because most have acted on their own out of a choice to do things in secret, not wanting to bring unwanted attention unto themselves. Others acted on Earth, but not the Earth of this dimension.” Thomas explained.

“Is the legend true? Did angels really imbue it with their strength?”

Thomas chuckled. “I wrote the legend, Louis. Part of that ‘seeing into the future’ thing allowed me to pass myself off as a Seer on Sin. In case you hadn’t already figured it out, I’m the Linkaran man who wrote the prophecies. I wish I could say I remember all the details or even some of my experiences on Sin, but seeing into the future or even my own past isn’t exactly a simple process. It’s kind of like living backwards.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Quite right. The answer’s really a ‘maybe’ since I don’t know for certain. Originally, the gauntlet and the blade that came out of it were just that. They were the beginnings of an armor I was making to try to create a shining knight who would exemplify the ideal of might for right. The night after I had completed the gauntlet, I awoke to find a glow encompassing my home. I went down to my workshop where I saw three radiant figures in white. They were pouring water out of a censer onto the gauntlet. While the blade had originally been a triggered mechanism, it now slid out at the user’s will. After that night, I considered building the rest of the armor, but I discovered that the gauntlet itself knew how to form the rest whenever a new piece was unlocked, somehow triggered when the user was virtuous in some way. Now, every time I’ve made the gauntlet anew, the beings return and begin the process again.” Thomas spoke.

Louis laid back and drank his hot chocolate, a smile curling across his lips. “I hope you’ve got a lot of tea, Thomas, because I’ve got a lot more questions...”

*

Indow crossed her legs and swung them beneath her as they hung over the edge of the tall building. After leaving Louis’ house, she just began flying, trying to get as far away from the people she knew and loved as quickly as possible. After passing over some countryside, she had arrived in Pharos City, beholding the skyscraper of Lodestar Tower off in the distance. As such, after perusing the city for a spot where she could gather her thoughts, she finally descended to the edge of a large apartment building and looked down to the streets below. She thought of everything that they had argued about a few hours ago, frowning as she continued to recall her belief that the world was in a Dark Age that it could never hope to escape from.

“You know, there are safer places to relax than this.”

Indow looked up and gasped, leaning back in shock. A man was floating in front of her and smiling, his arms crossed in front of him. His hair was short and artificially blonde, his skin Caucasian and a little pale. The upper half of his face was covered by a white mask that hid his features along with lenses that protected the eyes from being seen. He wore a costume that mixed white and black, the fabric itself looking like sweat clothes. Indow slowly regained herself and moved closer.

“My apologies, I just I never expected anyone else to be able to fly...” she stated.

“Likewise, it’s not every day that I see a woman with fur. If I may ask about it...?” the man queried.

“I’m an Anako. I believe the word that you people have as an equivalent is ‘catgirl.’ I am visiting your world, although I’m not sure for how much longer. My name’s Indow, by the way. You actually seem quite calm considering I just told you I wasn’t from your world.” She answered, holding out her hand to him.

The man smiled and took it, shaking it gently. “Mine’s Lightbringer. As for not being surprised, well, as you’ve noticed, I can fly, so I’m not exactly unfamiliar with the unusual.”

Lightbringer sat down beside Indow and hung his legs down over the edge like her as she looked at him, smiling as her eyes brightened up.

“Oh! I’ve heard of you. You’re the world’s first and only superhero.” Indow stated.

Lightbringer nodded. “That’s me! Now, what’s got a lovely woman like you so melancholy? You weren’t exactly looking at things down there like you wanted to be there.”

Indow looked back down at the people down in the streets. “This world was not what I was expecting. While I have a lot of pride in where I’m from, I expected this place to be somehow... better than mine. It hurts inside to think about this place. Earth is technologically more advanced than mine, but the morality is the same. There’s too much evil, a lot of ambiguity, and not nearly enough good.”

She turned her head over to Lightbringer and frowned. “I’ve done a lot I’m not proud of, Lightbringer. I’ve done shameful things and things that I wish I could have taken back. For some reason I expected a lot of those feelings to be gone when I came here, but it’s just the same if not worse.”

“Because those aren’t feelings you can get rid of. Our emotions are a part of who we are and while some people say it’s rational or logical to deny them, the truth is that how we feel is every bit a part of who we are as our appearance and how we perceive ourselves. However, that doesn’t mean you have to be mired in them all the time.” Lightbringer replied.

“How do you mean?”

“Well, think about it. You can’t tell me that this place has been that bad, has it?”

Indow winced. “My beloved had his arm cut off here. Then he said hurtful things to me and his friends because of his rage and grief.”

“Do you still love him?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then it shouldn’t matter. Couples have fights all the time, Indow, and usually it’s because of misplaced feelings. He’s in pain because of losing his arm, but that pain’s not necessarily going to last. If you don’t feel you can handle that pain alongside him, then you have every right to leave him. Otherwise you can help him through it, be the light in his life that makes it so that it doesn’t matter what he’s lost as long as he has you. All that matters is that he loves you and you love him. If you come out of a verbal argument with something better than you started with, then you’ve really got something special. Of course, if he’s abusing you physically or emotionally, dump his ass and it doesn’t matter what he thinks.” Lightbringer advised.

“He has never harmed me even when I have harmed him.”

Indow turned her head to Lightbringer, still frowning. “And what about the world? Loving one person will not change the nature of this place.”

Lightbringer got off of the edge and floated in front of Indow. “You see this city all around you?”

Indow blinked, looking at Lightbringer as if he were insane. “Of course I see it. I’d have to be blind not to.”

“You know about its reputation? How much crime and corruption that there is?”

Indow nodded.

“Well, I’m going to save it. I’m going to make this place the best city in the world to live in and it doesn’t matter how long it takes for me to accomplish that goal. And it won’t be easy. Men and monsters will try to stop me and they’ll tell me the same things you’re saying about the world, that it’s corrupt, it’s hopeless, it’s a dark, dismal place that will probably sooner destroy itself than be saved, but I won’t believe them.”

“Why not?” Indow queried.

Lightbringer leaned in and whispered into Indow’s ear, “Because I wouldn’t be a good guy if I let evil be right. My love for this place is the catalyst for changing how it is. If I didn’t care about it, I couldn’t do a thing to help it. But I do and now I’m taking action the best way that I can.”

“But what about me? I’m not a superhero like you.”

“Maybe not, but there was a world before I became a superhero and there will be a world after I’m dead. Everyone has the power to change the world, be it actual physical change or how we can view it. Indow, the world is what you view it to be. I was once told that the world is a place for the dominating and the dominated and I refused to see the world that way, so I didn’t allow that view to alter mine. The world is painful. There’s no denying it. But I don’t think that’s the only thing about it even in light of all the evil in it, so I bolster the good while defeating the bad. I fight to bring the world to where it should be. It doesn’t matter if I actually succeed. I live my life as if the world is a place of goodness to show it that it can be a place of goodness.”

Indow raised an eyebrow and recalled Ted’s words, speaking them softly: “‘You force the world to make sense...’”

“What was that?” Lightbringer asked, not hearing her whispers.

She paused for a moment and then smiled. She jumped off the ledge and began hovering, leaning over and giving Lightbringer a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you, sir; I believe I have what I need.” She spoke before flying away from him.

Lightbringer blinked for a moment, then smirked and put his hand to the cheek where Indow had kissed him. “I tell you, Hannah, only in this city...”

*

White Raven dropped down from a warehouse and crouched, looking around herself. Seeing no one in her immediate line of sight, she brought her arm up and signaled Thesia to follow her. Thesia levitated down and readied her sword, nodding to White Raven. The two kicked open the warehouse doors and roared as they charged ahead into Varek’s location, Thesia at the ready with her sword while White Raven brought her bow and arrow up to aim for her target.

Varek, however, seemed to not notice them at all. He stood in the middle of the warehouse with the Black Oracle in front of him on a pedestal, his gaze never leaving its pages. White Raven launched an arrow straight at his head, her aim not deviating for a moment. However, as the arrow came within a few inches of his pale skin, Varek’s hand went up and caught the arrow, much to the shock and horror of the two. Thesia quickly regained her composure and ran at her former ally with the full intent of coating her sword with his blood.

White Raven prepared another arrow in the case she could distract Varek for Thesia to accomplish her mission with greater ease. At the very least, with Thesia engaging him in combat, she believed she could get a clear shot of him. However, before she could ready herself, White Raven felt a sharp pain enter her backside. She collapsed forward as images began to flash in front of her eyes. She saw scenes of human atrocity and pain – of the rape of children, the slaughter of an innocent by some malicious agent of destruction, and even Louis’ arm being chopped off by Varek.

She brought herself around as tears welled up in her eyes, looking to the doorway she and Thesia had entered. The Darkbringer stood with a sadistic grin on his face, his hand practically sparking with black energy.

“The feminine traitors acting together? How ironic.” Varek spoke as his sword clashed with Thesia’s.

“Do you realize what we’re going to do? We’re going to bring him back... and this world will never be the same.” The Darkbringer stated.

White Raven winced and gripped the edge of her bow. It was going to be dreadful night.

*

“Is the armor translating for me or is Sin just a parallel world where everyone speaks English?” Louis queried.

“It’s the armor, all right. Another innovation of the angels or whatever it was that made it so powerful. Anyone you come in contact with is mystically linked to the gauntlet, able to hear their own language instead of other tongues.” Thomas answered.

The two had spent all night and morning talking to one another about everything Louis had done and where he was going. Throughout it all, they had used up Thomas’ entire supply of tea and hot chocolate and even had briefly moved into Thomas’ workroom where he began upgrading the armor. Louis had been curious about what exactly he could do to it if it was the angels who originally made it so powerful to begin with. Thomas merely smiled and told him that he had access to magicks of his own that could enhance and upgrade the gauntlet and, subsequently, the rest of the armor.

Through it all, Louis learned that Thomas had been observing Louis through much of his journey, albeit had kept his distance at anything that seemed private. Thomas explained little of his own past, only that he knew a very powerful Wizard who had taught him the secrets of living almost to an endless age as well as foretelling the future. Louis gazed out the window and winced, slowly standing up as he turned to face Thomas.

“Oh, it’s morning now! Thomas, I’ve got to call my house, let them know I’m okay and-”

Louis stopped when he saw out of the corner of his eye that the morning sky was beginning to darken. It was unlike how the sun passes behind a cloud, the area itself seeming to blacken over rapidly. Thomas himself got up and walked over to the window as Louis looked up at the sky. The sun was being engulfed in darkness, as if tendrils were flowing through it and covering it up. With what little light was still available, Louis looked to the side and saw the moon still in the sky, meaning it wasn’t the one causing the eclipse.

“Thomas, I have to go now! This has got to be Varek!” Louis stated.

“But I haven’t finished upgrading the armor! You’re no match for Varek in your current state!” Thomas responded.

Louis reached for his trench coat, but then realized it was still soaking wet, so he left it where it was. “Thomas, you’ve given me a lot to think about, not the least of which is that I need to fight injustice wherever I see it. It doesn’t get more unjust than the last scion of the Darkness. Besides, I need to go apologize to everyone, get us all organized to finally take him down.”

“If I can’t convince you to wait until you’re ready, at the very least, let me properly equip you.” Thomas said as he walked over to a nearby bookshelf, pulling on one of the books.

The bookcase began to slide open, revealing a secret compartment.

“Thomas, I’ve only got one arm, how am I supposed to wield a sword or- whoa.” Louis said, gawking at the contents of the compartment. “That’s... That’s a little ungallant, isn’t it? What are you doing with all of that?”

Thomas smiled and crossed his arms. “You said it yourself; you can’t wield any bladed weapon with just one arm. As for why I have them, I’m an old man living alone in the United States. I’m not exactly at my prime and I was always better with bows and arrows than swords. Louis, why wouldn’t I have them?”

“Ooh! Ooh! I see which ones I want!” Louis exclaimed exuberantly, running towards the compartment.

Thomas chuckled and began walking away. “I’ll get a bag.”

As Louis began to examine the weapons of the compartment, Thomas smiled and opened up a closet, getting out a black duffel bag and singing softly to himself:

“‘In short, there’s simply not/a more congenial spot/for happily ever-aftering...’”

Next Time: We're finally back to what passes off for the main plot. Maybe.

Post by **VoiceOfReasonPast** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 12:13 pm

Does it qualify as a backstory when it explains nothing?

RiffingShow

Louis wrapped the warm blanket around his battered form carefully, still instinctively trying to reach with his left hand only to find it missing.

You need a hand ?
Also I'm pretty sure you shouldn't have an issue with a blanket if you apparently managed to put on the trench coat just fine.

The old man’s home was actually attached to the antique shop, much to Louis’ surprise, since the building had seemed much smaller when he initially looked at it.

What kind of building is it, anyways? Is it some standalone building, or just a storefront? In either case there's always room for some apartment.

The old man had led him to a roaring, hot fireplace for him to dry off and get his bearings.

“Tea?” the man called from the kitchen.

“Hot chocolate, if you’ve got it."

Pussy.

"I actually can’t stand tea, but I never wanted to hurt Indow’s feelings. She prides herself on her tea.” Louis answered.

Pussy.

(Also it was only in the third book that it was even hinted at Indow making tea.)

“And I’m sure it’s a fine brew. Have you gathered who I am yet?” he called out to Louis as he prepared the drinks.

Either some Magic Space God, the elusive Linkaran Man, and/or a shallow copy of this guy:

Louis shrugged as he scooted himself over slightly so he could be closer to the fire. “Well, since my life seems to have become a science fiction book, I have only two guesses. You’re either me from about fifty years in the future...”

Holy Main Character Syndrome, Batman!

“I’m not.” the old man interrupted as he brought in the tea and hot chocolate on a tray.

And thank God for that.

“...Or you’re the guy responsible for sending me to Sin in the first place.” Louis finished.

Why is that your second guess?

“Guilty as charged. I also created the gauntlet. May I see it, by the way?” he requested, sitting down on the couch opposite of Louis’.

Louis nodded and held out his right arm. The old man reached out and he slid it off of his arm, examining it gently.

That was surprisingly easy. I guess the gauntlet just comes off like that after scanning his fingerprints.

The man had a pair of glasses attached to a string around his neck and he brought them up as he examined Louis’ weapon.

I'm pretty sure this is the only description we've gotten of this "old man" so far. Though I guess we can assume that he's blonde.

“Let me guess – been feeling nauseous? Unsteady? And I bet after your arm was removed, it hasn’t felt right at all?” the old man queried.

Louis nodded.

"I bet having your arm chopped off sucks, eh?"

“It’s a design flaw, one that I think I’ve stamped out. It never works quite right when on Earth. Every other dimension it seems to work perfectly, but for some reason whenever it’s here it acts up.” the old man explained.

Some reason = hack writing.

Also JFC, this is the big plot twist of The Contest of Champions storyline.

At4W loreShow

So the grand prize of the contest is a fucking Infinity Gauntlet - but as it turns out they only work in their home dimension, and the omnipotent aliens running the contest ain't telling you which one it's from. It's really just an elaborate prank if you think about it.

“So that’s why I couldn’t beat Varek? The armor was weaker or something?” Louis asked.

“Oh, heavens no. The armor is just as strong as it always has, it’s the user who has the problem.” the old man answered, laughing a little.

"You just suck, mate."

“What are you talking about?”

That you speedran through all stages of grief in less than an hour?

“Your question about the armor being weaker is part of the problem. Tell me something, Louis, have you ever heard the adage that says that might is right?”

Louis nodded. “Of course. It’s true, too. The more powerful take control and it’s from their perspective that history takes shape, thus from that the ‘right’ is based.”

This explains so much.

The old man laughed and shook his head, setting down his tea on the tray and leaning back. “Ah, a true product of the 1990s. History isn’t just superior forces winning, you know. There are plenty of examples of the weak overcoming the strong. And the lesson goes far beyond history. Just because you’re very powerful doesn’t mean you’re right.”

Name some example, Mr. Zen Wisdom.

Louis sighed and closed his eyes. “I’m not sure what ‘right’ is anymore. I’m sorry, Mr.- um...”

“Thomas. My name’s Thomas.”

"I'm a tank engine."

“I’m sorry, Thomas, but with everything that’s happened recently, I’m not sure what I should believe.”

"Believe in the me who believes in you!"

Thomas smiled and leaned forward. “Just follow your heart.”

Louis rolled his eyes and groaned. “Oh, come on! Don’t give me that fortune cookie clichéd crap! I need real advice! Okay, might isn’t right, so what the hell is right? What does might have to do with it, if at all?!”

What an ungrateful little shit drama queen.

Thomas continued smiling and picked up his tea, taking a sip before he spoke:

“Once upon a time, there was a great King who wanted to do wonderful things for the people of the world."

Dude, he just whined about your "fortune cookie" crap. You think he's in the mood for a fairy tale?

"He thought that war should not be a game for vain men to use for their own boredom."

That's... not how wars happen, man.

"He believed that life was worth being lived through freedom, compassion, and generosity to others rather than barbaric plundering and foolishness."

And his name? Albert Einstein.

"The old saying is ‘Might makes right.’ For him, he believed maybe that Might ought to serve right, that the ideal of being a good person should be served by those who were mighty."

I'm pretty sure Linkara (the author) is just copy-pasting from the musical Camelot here. He's a big fan of it (see his cosplay in Suburban Knights), and there's at least one video where he spergs about it being one of the cornerstones of his sense of right and wrong.

>tfw your moral compass was built around a fucking musical because it was your first exposure to the romanticized version of chivalry

"However, many were ignorant of the ideals he tried to teach. Eventually, through no fault of his own, he was killed by someone that he loved even through all the hardships that person had put him through."

Can't we get a book about this story instead?

"Before he died, he charged me with the task of letting his memory live on, to tell all others of what he tried to do."

I fear it didn't work out.

"I’ve tried to do that in many ways, although my favorite method was through writing about it. I’ve always felt that the printed word could hold more poignancy and thought than any action..."

"Also I hate talking to people."

"... but nevertheless I have come to understand that evil cannot simply be met with our words, but with our strength, as well."

LMAO. Nigga, most people learn this in school when they're getting (rightfully) bullied.

"That was what this King believed should be done, and that’s why you’re here today, Linkara.”

“I don’t quite get it.” Louis said, a bit perplexed.

"Punch Evil in the face, you litte shit."

Thomas picked up the gauntlet and held it in front of Louis. “This is part of your might, Louis. Throughout your journey on Sin, you’ve used it to throw about your power, making your law the right law. And in most cases, that’s been good."

I have my doubts about that.

"You do have a good sense of right and wrong, but you haven’t been doing it because you want to do right."

He mostly does it because he loves brutalizing people.

"Oh, sure, every once in a while it’s for that reason, but doing the right thing shouldn’t be a once-in-a-while excursion. Varek the Destroyer has physical and magical power that rivals any other individual on Earth.”

That's not how to use "to rival". I'm pretty sure his power level is somewhat higher than "any other individual on Earth".

Thomas leaned forward, tilting his glasses forward to the edge of his nose. “But you have the strength of heart and spirit that even rivals his devotion to his fallen Darkness."

He loves himself more than some goth creep loves a magic blob.

"Your optimism and capacity for good have always been your strongest allies, Linkara."

No. His strongest allies are his OP armor and his capacity to threaten people with violence.

"You call my advice clichéd, but people often forget that there’s probably a meaning behind the cliché that might actually have some value to it."

So far you've mostly been spouting nonsense.

"I don’t roll my eyes at ideas like love, justice, and the powers the heart wields. It’s serious business as long as one knows how to take it seriously, and I believe you’re someone who does."

Are you senile? Dude takes nothing seriously.

"You are the greatest of any who have wielded the armor.”

"You're so great and talented, oh Great Linkara. And so handsome!"

Louis raised an eyebrow as he picked up his hot chocolate, suddenly very intrigued by this new revelation. “There have been others?”

>tfw you're not as special a snowflake as you think you were

Thomas nodded. “Many. But you are the only person to unlock both the wings and the crown."

"You're even more special than all the other losers!"

(What does the crown even do, exactly?)

"I have tried a multitude of ways of trying to promote the ideal of ‘Might for right.’ Sometimes I’d assist the Linkara; other times I’d never reveal myself. Sometimes they acted in secret here on Earth; other times I’d send them to other dimensions.”

I feel like this grand origin story for the armor - which didn't exist until now - raises more questions than it answers.
Also note how they had to "act in secret" so that the Lightbringer can still be the world's first capeshitter. I'm not entirely sure how you can stay secret if you're an electrical knight with wings, but whatever.

...

Hang on a sec. Are they all called "the Linkara"? And why?
And... does that mean.. Comic Book Linkara is one of them?!

Thomas grimaced as he set his tea down, frowning. “Some have been disappointments. Others have met terrible ends. When I saw what had happened to you, Louis, I knew it was time I stepped in to save you. I could not allow the greatest Linkara to fall.”

FFS take Linkara's dick out of your mouth already.

Louis smiled.

Of course you do

“Thanks. Did they all use the same armor? And how come I’ve never heard of them before?”

I just explained, man. It's so the Lightbringer can still pretend to be the first capeshitter.

“I forge the gauntlet whenever I need to create a new Linkara."

This becomes a lot more cringe if you remember that our Linkara now has a gauntlet, too.

"Someone long ago taught me how to see the future and see who would be the best for the task the king imparted on me."

"You wanna know how I can do all of this stuff? Someone else showed me how!"

This reminds me a bit of how Creationism also just pushes core questions it pretends to answer just up by another layer (what I'd like to call the "If God created the universe, where does God come from?" dilemma).

"As for why you’ve never heard of it before, it’s because most have acted on their own out of a choice to do things in secret, not wanting to bring unwanted attention unto themselves."

Did you teach them the Create Pocket Dimension spell? That's a good trick.

"Others acted on Earth, but not the Earth of this dimension.”

The Angel Armor Tokusatsu Multiverse (tm) confirmed.
Also more proof hat Angel Armor is part of At4W canon. JFC.

“Is the legend true? Did angels really imbue it with their strength?”

Who cares? Do you even know what a Sinnian angel is supposed to be? 'Cause I fucking don't. This series just adds more confusing mythology shit instead of explaining anything.

Thomas chuckled. “I wrote the legend, Louis. Part of that ‘seeing into the future’ thing allowed me to pass myself off as a Seer on Sin. In case you hadn’t already figured it out, I’m the Linkaran man who wrote the prophecies."

So sometimes you let your Linkaras act in secret because I guess they want to. But at other times you create an entire religion centered around the Linkara as a messiah before the guy is even born.

"I wish I could say I remember all the details or even some of my experiences on Sin, but seeing into the future or even my own past isn’t exactly a simple process. It’s kind of like living backwards.”

You can see at least a thousand years into the future. Don't play senile old fool on me, you little shit.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Quite right. The answer’s really a ‘maybe’ since I don’t know for certain."

Really? Are you like a World of Darkness vampire who got his memories scrambled because he just awoke from Topor?

"Originally, the gauntlet and the blade that came out of it were just that. They were the beginnings of an armor I was making to try to create a shining knight who would exemplify the ideal of might for right. The night after I had completed the gauntlet, I awoke to find a glow encompassing my home."

Is this ripping off The Simpsons or something?

I went down to my workshop where I saw three radiant figures in white. They were pouring water out of a censer onto the gauntlet. While the blade had originally been a triggered mechanism, it now slid out at the user’s will. After that night, I considered building the rest of the armor, but I discovered that the gauntlet itself knew how to form the rest whenever a new piece was unlocked, somehow triggered when the user was virtuous in some way. Now, every time I’ve made the gauntlet anew, the beings return and begin the process again.” Thomas spoke.

So all you do is built a glorified normal-ass gauntlet with a spring-loaded blade gimmick - which would be a moderately cute gadget for a street-level vigilante -, and then three Magic Space Gods which you apparently never bothered to talk to do all the actual work by sprinkling magic pond water on it? Are you serious? WTF kind of origin story is this supposed to be? Bloody hell.

Louis laid back and drank his hot chocolate, a smile curling across his lips. “I hope you’ve got a lot of tea, Thomas, because I’ve got a lot more questions...”

Can't imagine why. The guy is either batshit insane, or a glorified middleman. Plus he has already admitted that he knows shockingly little.

*

Indow crossed her legs and swung them beneath her as they hung over the edge of the tall building.

I think the only other way to be artistically sad would involve sitting on a swing in the middle of the night.

After leaving Louis’ house, she just began flying, trying to get as far away from the people she knew and loved as quickly as possible.

I bet you miss Lithmenar, who shouts at you that religion is pure evil any time Linkara forgets to tard wrangle him for five seconds

After passing over some countryside, she had arrived in Pharos City, beholding the skyscraper of Lodestar Tower off in the distance.

"And I beheld the skyscraper of Lodestar Tower off the dis- oh FFS it's the Lightbringer's hometown"

As such, after perusing the city for a spot where she could gather her thoughts, she finally descended to the edge of a large apartment building and looked down to the streets below.

Looking for just he right atmosphere for your depression, eh? Picky little bitch.

She thought of everything that they had argued about a few hours ago, frowning as she continued to recall her belief that the world was in a Dark Age that it could never hope to escape from.

You've been here for what, a week at the most? And you're already condemning the place for all eternity. What a Debbie Downer.

“You know, there are safer places to relax than this.”

It is time, my friends.

Indow looked up and gasped, leaning back in shock. A man was floating in front of her and smiling, his arms crossed in front of him.

You know, when Superman does this it's to talk a suicidal person out of jumping. The Lightbringer on the other hand does it to cheer up a chick that can fly who is sad because her sweetheart has thrown an irrational temper tantrum.

And holy shit, this is what the official crossover art is based on, really?

ArtShow

Now in hindsight, you might be wondering why Indow has a weird tattoo on her cheek. As it turns out that tattoo is mentionend - once in Book 1 and 2. Can't blame you for forgetting, though. I did, too.

What I can't explain though is why she threw a temper tantrum earlier over having to put on "idecent" Earthling clothes when she is dressed like this.

And doesn't "edge of the tall building" imply she's sitting on the roof?

His hair was short and artificially blonde, his skin Caucasian and a little pale.

I know it's the Lightbringer, but I appreciate the reminder that he's yet another blonde white character.

The upper half of his face was covered by a white mask that hid his features along with lenses that protected the eyes from being seen.

Friendly reminder that this Bootleg Lantern is also ripping off Batman's lense thingies which he never really has in live-action (outside of a short cameo in The Dark Knight) because they'd look kinda dumb.
Also he does realize such a tiny little mask does fuckall to protect his identity, right?

He wore a costume that mixed white and black, the fabric itself looking like sweat clothes.

Oh, so it's one of those "desexualized" capeshit clothes? I usually only see them for internet "redesigns" of lady capeshitters, which always end up looking like lame overalls.

Indow slowly regained herself and moved closer.

Move closer? He's floating in front of you. You'd fall.

“Likewise, it’s not every day that I see a woman with fur. If I may ask about it...?” the man queried.

LMAO. Even he can't see that she's supposed to be a "catgirl".

“I’m an Anako. I believe the word that you people have as an equivalent is ‘catgirl.’ I am visiting your world, although I’m not sure for how much longer. My name’s Indow, by the way. You actually seem quite calm considering I just told you I wasn’t from your world.” She answered, holding out her hand to him.

He can fly. He's probably seen some shit.
He didn't freak out that you're a furry.
You didn't even give him time to react.

The man smiled and took it, shaking it gently. “Mine’s Lightbringer. As for not being surprised, well, as you’ve noticed, I can fly, so I’m not exactly unfamiliar with the unusual.”

See?

Lightbringer sat down beside Indow and hung his legs down over the edge like her as she looked at him, smiling as her eyes brightened up.

“Oh! I’ve heard of you. You’re the world’s first and only superhero.” Indow stated.

(Not counting the numerous Linkaras who didn't have an entire religion centered around them.)

Lightbringer nodded. “That’s me! Now, what’s got a lovely woman like you so melancholy? You weren’t exactly looking at things down there like you wanted to be there.”

Are you hitting on her?

Indow looked back down at the people down in the streets. “This world was not what I was expecting. While I have a lot of pride in where I’m from, I expected this place to be somehow... better than mine."

Are you perhaps suggesting that Linkara's lectures about Earth where in fact vile propaganda?

"It hurts inside to think about this place. Earth is technologically more advanced than mine, but the morality is the same. There’s too much evil, a lot of ambiguity, and not nearly enough good.”

WTF is this "ambiguity" you guys keep complaining about? Are you mad our leaders aren't as transparently evil as the von Peasantkickings?

She turned her head over to Lightbringer and frowned. “I’ve done a lot I’m not proud of, Lightbringer. I’ve done shameful things and things that I wish I could have taken back. For some reason I expected a lot of those feelings to be gone when I came here, but it’s just the same if not worse.”

Getting railed was a necessary evil, honey.
And are you going to tell him that you got raped? I feel the discussion migth veer off into that direction.

“Because those aren’t feelings you can get rid of. Our emotions are a part of who we are and while some people say it’s rational or logical to deny them, the truth is that how we feel is every bit a part of who we are as our appearance and how we perceive ourselves. However, that doesn’t mean you have to be mired in them all the time.” Lightbringer replied.

Who says to deny them? And who says that's rational and/or logical?

“Well, think about it. You can’t tell me that this place has been that bad, has it?”

Indow winced. “My beloved had his arm cut off here. Then he said hurtful things to me and his friends because of his rage and grief.”

The arm thing was clearly the work of an illegal Sinnian immigrant. It doesn't count.
And you're shocked and amazed that Linkara can be a mean asshole? Have you forgotten the previous books?

“Do you still love him?”

“Of course I do!”

"To be honest, him calling me a bitch turned me on."

(She sounds more like someone stuck in an abusive relation, tbh.)

“Then it shouldn’t matter. Couples have fights all the time, Indow, and usually it’s because of misplaced feelings."

Stand by your abusive man. The Lightbringer said so!

"He’s in pain because of losing his arm, but that pain’s not necessarily going to last."

I would've just told him to get the fuck over it. It wasn't even his jerk-off arm, FFS.

If you don’t feel you can handle that pain alongside him, then you have every right to leave him. Otherwise you can help him through it, be the light in his life that makes it so that it doesn’t matter what he’s lost as long as he has you.

Oh, so now it's okay to ditch him?

"All that matters is that he loves you and you love him."

I have some doubts about that.

"If you come out of a verbal argument with something better than you started with, then you’ve really got something special."

Screaming at each other for no reason is a good thing!

"Of course, if he’s abusing you physically or emotionally, dump his ass and it doesn’t matter what he thinks.” Lightbringer advised.

He very much is. Holy shit, you have no fucking idea

“He has never harmed me even when I have harmed him.”

Are you alluding to that part in Book 1 when you were brainwashed and shanked him? That was just a lame cliffhanger. It doesn't count.
Or maybe she just means that time she called Sailor Moon gay and lame.

Indow turned her head to Lightbringer, still frowning. “And what about the world? Loving one person will not change the nature of this place.”

Just respect and tolerate our wonderful culture, just like you were ready to respect and tolerate the naked catgirl slave.

Lightbringer got off of the edge and floated in front of Indow. “You see this city all around you?”

Breathtaking.

Indow blinked, looking at Lightbringer as if he were insane. “Of course I see it. I’d have to be blind not to.”

“You know about its reputation? How much crime and corruption that there is?”

Indow nodded.

"I hope you've heard about the rape."

“Well, I’m going to save it. I’m going to make this place the best city in the world to live in and it doesn’t matter how long it takes for me to accomplish that goal. And it won’t be easy. Men and monsters will try to stop me and they’ll tell me the same things you’re saying about the world, that it’s corrupt, it’s hopeless, it’s a dark, dismal place that will probably sooner destroy itself than be saved, but I won’t believe them.”

The Great Lightbringer refuses to accept the dystopian nature of his hometown.

“Why not?” Indow queried.

Lightbringer leaned in and whispered into Indow’s ear, “Because I wouldn’t be a good guy if I let evil be right. My love for this place is the catalyst for changing how it is. If I didn’t care about it, I couldn’t do a thing to help it. But I do and now I’m taking action the best way that I can.”

Why the fuck are you whispering? And what do you love about the place? The literally burning dumpsters? The assaults on women? The slavemongering gangs?
I know the place was more pleasant when it started out, but JFC man, cut your losses.

“But what about me? I’m not a superhero like you.”

“Maybe not, but there was a world before I became a superhero and there will be a world after I’m dead. Everyone has the power to change the world, be it actual physical change or how we can view it."

Eh, "changing how you view it" does not, in fact, change anything.

"Indow, the world is what you view it to be."

No, no it's not.
Also why does your zen wisdom sound like it comes from Pippi Longstocking?

(Specifically the lyrics of the German version of Här kommer Pippi Långstrump, which effectively glorifies rejecting reality and substituting our own.)

"I was once told that the world is a place for the dominating and the dominated and I refused to see the world that way, so I didn’t allow that view to alter mine."

Says the guy who is dominating the criminals.

"The world is painful. There’s no denying it. But I don’t think that’s the only thing about it even in light of all the evil in it, so I bolster the good while defeating the bad."

The Lightbringer, bolsterer of the Green M&M.

"I fight to bring the world to where it should be. It doesn’t matter if I actually succeed."

"At least I tried."
- The Lightbringer

"I live my life as if the world is a place of goodness to show it that it can be a place of goodness.”

No, that doesn't mesh with what you said earler. You fight to make it a place of goodness.

Indow raised an eyebrow and recalled Ted’s words, speaking them softly: “‘You force the world to make sense...’”

Can you guys stop equating "goodness" with "making sense"?

“What was that?” Lightbringer asked, not hearing her whispers.

You're still whispering? Both of you?!

She paused for a moment and then smiled. She jumped off the ledge and began hovering, leaning over and giving Lightbringer a kiss on the cheek.

I think Linkara just got cucked.

“Thank you, sir; I believe I have what I need.” She spoke before flying away from him.

I don't think the advice was worth much, but whatever makes you happy I guess.

Lightbringer blinked for a moment, then smirked and put his hand to the cheek where Indow had kissed him. “I tell you, Hannah, only in this city...”

Nobody cares about your supporting cast.

(Though if you're curious, Hannah is the purple-haired bitch who has super-strength for some reason, but never bothered becoming a cape-shitter herself until towards the end of the comic's run. All because Linkara wanted a female character who wasn't a helpless damsel

)

*

White Raven dropped down from a warehouse and crouched, looking around herself.

I see she went to the Lithmenar School of Unnecessary Parkour Tricks.
Also can't Thesia just make both of you float around? She did so earlier.

Seeing no one in her immediate line of sight, she brought her arm up and signaled Thesia to follow her.

Are you a SWAT team now?
Also Thesia is a spellcaster. Her diviniation magic is probably better than your fucking eyes.

Thesia levitated down and readied her sword, nodding to White Raven.

Only her floating around makes it even dumber.

The two kicked open the warehouse doors and roared as they charged ahead into Varek’s location, Thesia at the ready with her sword while White Raven brought her bow and arrow up to aim for her target.

I don't think the roaring was necessary. Or the kicking the door open, for that matter. Fuck the element of surprise, I guess.

Varek, however, seemed to not notice them at all. He stood in the middle of the warehouse with the Black Oracle in front of him on a pedestal, his gaze never leaving its pages.

That's totally not some kind of trap.

White Raven launched an arrow straight at his head, her aim not deviating for a moment. However, as the arrow came within a few inches of his pale skin, Varek’s hand went up and caught the arrow, much to the shock and horror of the two.

How is that shocking? You think only the Dorkbringer can catch your arrows?

Thesia quickly regained her composure and ran at her former ally with the full intent of coating her sword with his blood.

Sounds kinky when you word it like that.

White Raven prepared another arrow in the case she could distract Varek for Thesia to accomplish her mission with greater ease.

Or he'll just catch the arrow and stab your nakama with it. You know, like during the last fight.

At the very least, with Thesia engaging him in combat, she believed she could get a clear shot of him.

Have you not learned your fucking lesson?

However, before she could ready herself, White Raven felt a sharp pain enter her backside. She collapsed forward as images began to flash in front of her eyes. She saw scenes of human atrocity and pain – of the rape of children, the slaughter of an innocent by some malicious agent of destruction, and even Louis’ arm being chopped off by Varek.

Gee, I wonder if that was the work of the other evil guy who you haven't spotted yet.
Why are you two so bad at this? I thought you're supposed to be the two female badasses of the team.

She brought herself around as tears welled up in her eyes, looking to the doorway she and Thesia had entered. The Darkbringer stood with a sadistic grin on his face, his hand practically sparking with black energy.

Called it.
Also is his hand sparking with black energy or not?

“The feminine traitors acting together? How ironic.” Varek spoke as his sword clashed with Thesia’s.

It's like rai~iain~ on your wed~ding~ day~...

“Do you realize what we’re going to do? We’re going to bring him back... and this world will never be the same.” The Darkbringer stated.

White Raven winced and gripped the edge of her bow. It was going to be dreadful night.

Who would've guess that two would fail where six also failed

?

*

“Is the armor translating for me or is Sin just a parallel world where everyone speaks English?” Louis queried.

“It’s the armor, all right."

Why'd you even ask? The Sinnians have used dumb fantasy words for basic shit like "year" for most of Book 1 until your language translater catched up, and to this day they can't say "water".
Though personally, while the text translation feature of the armor is well documented, I feel like the spoken language translation is actually a feature of the dimensional travel - because riddle me this: If the Sinnians aren't natively speaking English, how can they communicate with the Earthlings when Linkara isn't even in the same scene?

"Another innovation of the angels or whatever it was that made it so powerful."

Friendly reminder that Linkara (the author) considers the armor's origin story "fairly original". I guess it is somewhat of a novelty that the backstory still contains way too many instance of "I don't fucking know, nigga".

"Anyone you come in contact with is mystically linked to the gauntlet, able to hear their own language instead of other tongues.” Thomas answered.

Oh, so it can translate for others via magic Wi-Fi.
How can the Lightbringer understand Indow, though? The way you describe it makes it sound like the translation only goes one way.

The two had spent all night and morning talking to one another about everything Louis had done and where he was going.

Couldn't we have gotten this live? You had no issue recapping shit back in the Garick chapter, and I was hoping to increase the Rape Counter some more.

Throughout it all, they had used up Thomas’ entire supply of tea and hot chocolate and even had briefly moved into Thomas’ workroom where he began upgrading the armor.

Can't have been a very large supply then. Do you have any idea how long even a tiny box of tea lasts?

Louis had been curious about what exactly he could do to it if it was the angels who originally made it so powerful to begin with.

I assume he just bangs on the gauntlet with a hammer for a bit, and then the angels pop out and squirt some magical lemon on it.
Also why is he upgrading it? I thought there was nothing wrong with the armor itself?

Thomas merely smiled and told him that he had access to magicks of his own that could enhance and upgrade the gauntlet and, subsequently, the rest of the armor.

I sure love this quality writing.

Through it all, Louis learned that Thomas had been observing Louis through much of his journey, albeit had kept his distance at anything that seemed private.

That's not creepy at all, and I don't trust him on that last bit.

Thomas explained little of his own past, only that he knew a very powerful Wizard who had taught him the secrets of living almost to an endless age as well as foretelling the future.

This backstory has at least two layers of "A wizard did it".

Louis gazed out the window and winced, slowly standing up as he turned to face Thomas.

“Oh, it’s morning now! Thomas, I’ve got to call my house, let them know I’m okay and-”

Louis stopped when he saw out of the corner of his eye that the morning sky was beginning to darken. It was unlike how the sun passes behind a cloud, the area itself seeming to blacken over rapidly.

It's nice of Varek to wait a little past morning before starting his dark ritual.

Thomas himself got up and walked over to the window as Louis looked up at the sky. The sun was being engulfed in darkness, as if tendrils were flowing through it and covering it up. With what little light was still available, Louis looked to the side and saw the moon still in the sky, meaning it wasn’t the one causing the eclipse.

Why would you assume that moon could be at fault here? Lunar eclipses don't involve shadow tentacles.

“Thomas, I have to go now! This has got to be Varek!” Louis stated.

“But I haven’t finished upgrading the armor! You’re no match for Varek in your current state!” Thomas responded.

What happened to "The armor's fine. You just have to believe in yourself"?

Louis reached for his trench coat, but then realized it was still soaking wet, so he left it where it was. “Thomas, you’ve given me a lot to think about, not the least of which is that I need to fight injustice wherever I see it."

If you haven't fought injustice before, then what was the whole deal with the naked catgirl slave?

"It doesn’t get more unjust than the last scion of the Darkness. Besides, I need to go apologize to everyone, get us all organized to finally take him down.”

"Justice" means "Total Darkness Death".

“If I can’t convince you to wait until you’re ready, at the very least, let me properly equip you.” Thomas said as he walked over to a nearby bookshelf, pulling on one of the books.

The bookcase began to slide open, revealing a secret compartment.

Not this shit again...

“Thomas, I’ve only got one arm, how am I supposed to wield a sword or- whoa.” Louis said, gawking at the contents of the compartment. “That’s... That’s a little ungallant, isn’t it? What are you doing with all of that?”[/i]

Just pick a sword that you can wield with one arm?

Thomas smiled and crossed his arms. “You said it yourself; you can’t wield any bladed weapon with just one arm."

Explain this, then:

(Also "any bladed weapon" implies that knives are two-handed as well.)

"As for why I have them, I’m an old man living alone in the United States. I’m not exactly at my prime and I was always better with bows and arrows than swords. Louis, why wouldn’t I have them?”

Bows very much do require two arms.
Though I guess he's referring to guns, but I'm pretty sure they'd do fuckall against Varek even if Linkara weren't limited to dingy pistols.

“Ooh! Ooh! I see which ones I want!” Louis exclaimed exuberantly, running towards the compartment.

Thomas chuckled and began walking away. “I’ll get a bag.”

Every warriors should enter the field of battle with a tote bag.

As Louis began to examine the weapons of the compartment, Thomas smiled and opened up a closet, getting out a black duffel bag and singing softly to himself:

“‘In short, there’s simply not/a more congenial spot/for happily ever-aftering...’”

This musical is even gayer than I imagined.

BenComicGraphics · Post by **BenComicGraphics** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 11:59 pm

my at4w lore is lacking, at4w lewis has a gauntlet too? God, this is more incestuous than a Chandler family reunion.

Post by **VoiceOfReasonPast** » Mon Jun 30, 2025 6:11 am

BenComicGraphics wrote: ↑
Sun Jun 29, 2025 11:59 pm
my at4w lore is lacking, at4w lewis has a gauntlet too? God, this is more incestuous than a Chandler family reunion.

It's sadly a bit of a hole in my conspiracy theory, but he did win an Infinity Gauntlet at the end of the Contest of Champions. It just doesn't do anything outside of its home dimension because the people running the contest are assholes.

The fuck is even their deal? They have like a stash of effectively WMDs who probably don't work outside of their original dimension, so they just give them away as prizes?

BenComicGraphics · Post by **BenComicGraphics** » Wed Jul 02, 2025 10:35 pm

VoiceOfReasonPast wrote: ↑
Mon Jun 30, 2025 6:11 am

BenComicGraphics wrote: ↑
Sun Jun 29, 2025 11:59 pm
my at4w lore is lacking, at4w lewis has a gauntlet too? God, this is more incestuous than a Chandler family reunion.
It's sadly a bit of a hole in my conspiracy theory, but he did win an Infinity Gauntlet at the end of the Contest of Champions. It just doesn't do anything outside of its home dimension because the people running the contest are assholes.

The fuck is even their deal? They have like a stash of effectively WMDs who probably don't work outside of their original dimension, so they just give them away as prizes?

Loki season 1. " We use them as paperweights"

Post by **VoiceOfReasonPast** » Sat Jul 05, 2025 8:07 am

Book 4, Chapter 14 - Cavalry
(Or: The Smug Poet)

It took the better part of three chapters, but it appears we're finally back to some semblance of a plot.
Also Linkara is still just a one-armed messiah, which has been the most surprising thing so far.

"Remember when Indow got raped?" Count: 12
"Baddies Never Smile" Count: 21
And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

Everything's connected, man! Angel Armor! Lightbringer! Atop the Fourth Wall! M&Ms! Everything!

Erm, anyways... I'll think I'll just sort the previous chapter's scenes by how much I have to sperg about them:

The "Feminine Traitor" Duo (shouldn't that be "female traitors"? Oh, whatever) of Raven and Thesia somehow tracks down the warehouse that the Dark Duo is squatting in. Their attempt to stop their vile schemes turns into an unmitigated disaster because...

... they have somehow forgotten that arrows are fucking useless against their foe.
... they have either also forgotten that the Dorkbringer exists, or it somehow doesn't ring any alarm bells that he is nowhere to be seen after they burst into the warehouse.

Meanwhile, Indow's just flying off in a random direction and lands on a random roof (or window ledge, if you go by the "official" art) in the first city she runs into - which just so happens to be Pharos City of Lightbringer fame.
I'd really like to know how close these two cities actually are. I mean, can't the Slavers just get into a fucking bus and move their human-trafficking empire over to the neighboring town that doesn't have Bootleg Lantern protecting it? Just sayin'.

Speaking of Bootleg Lantern, the Great Lightbringer embiggens this book with his presence and gives Indow quality advice like "You shouldn't leave your boyfriend unless he's an abusive asshole" which is kinda hilarious in context.
He also doesn't really refute Indow's belief that Earth is the most horrible shithole planet of them all with something like "Stop being so autistic about the nukes, you stupid bitch. We used them like twice". Instead he has this very strange Oscar bait speech that seems to conflate "I fight to make the world less of a shithole" with "I make-believe that the world is less of a shithole".
Though apparently that's enough for Indow to get over her little relationship drama, proving that both she and Linkara are obnoxious drama queens.
And speaking of conflating weird shit just to have people say something that sounds profound, the Lightbringer is yet another Earthling who believes that "The world is kinda shit" is equivalent to "The world doesn't make sense".

Oh, and have you ever wondered about how Sinnians and Earthlings can understand each other? I bet you didn't really think much of it (as did I), because this kind of stuff is just kinda glanced over in (reverse) isekai stories.
But Linkara (the author), in his infinite wisdom, decided to give us an explanation that is actually worse than if he had never explained anything.
So what happens is that having been in contact with Linkara once connects you to a magical Wi-Fi that automatically translates shit into a language you can understand - without you noticing anything, apparently.

It would've probably been less of a headache to make this translating part of the dimensional travel magic itself, 'cause the magical Wi-Fi actually raises further questions:

Is that how shit worked out for Gyaru Casca? Is she speaking a different language, or does she just happen to know a language that everyone speaks a thousand years into her future with no changes?
How can the Lightbringer understand Indow? He has never met Linkara, and according to the explanation the magical Wi-Fi would only translate his English for Indow, not Indow's gibberish into English.
What about Varek? He spent a good deal of time on Earth before meeting Linkara, and not only did he read the newspapers, but he also held dumb villain speeches in front of a live audience (one member being so impressed by it that he just turned evil).
And how much range does this have? How far away can you get from the gauntlet and still enjoy its translation powers?

And finally the Great Linkara's chatting with the old man. Aka Thomas. Aka the elusive Linkaran Man
Now I'm betting you were hoping for an amazing origin story for the titular Angel Armor that isn't just "The angels (whatever the fuck they are) created it for mysterious reasons."

Turns out that the angels (whatever the fuck they are) created it for mysterious reasons. No, seriously.

Okay, there's like a step of separation because they're like throwing Thomas a bone because some old king (which I'm just gonna assume was King Arthur because why the fuck not) really impressed him with his incoherent ramblings about heroism, so ever since then he really, really loves building magical power armor to hand to people, except the angels always stop him once he's finished a single gauntlet and literally do all the work for him. And he never once bothered to ask them WTF their deal is.

And yes, you heard right. Linkara isn't the first one he handed a celestial suit of super-armor. Dude has filled the entire multiverse with Linkaras. Even on Linkara's Earth - but those ones have always decided to operate in secret (so Lightbringer can pretend he's this Earth's first capeshitter) so they don't count. But don't worry about our Linkara, for Thomas constantly reminds him that he is the bestest and greatest Linkara that ever was

Oh, and the guy can really see into the future. Though I'm not sure why he decided to go all Missionaria Protectiva on Sin and change that world's course of history by creating the Linkaran faith. Or why he isn't just telling Linkara the rest of this book. Fuck, Linkara isn't even asking.
Now what do you think is going on here? Is this a Dr. Manhattan situation where Thomas does not have any real agency because he's a slave to his own precognition? Or has our author not considered the ramification of introducing a character who can see at least a thousand years into the future with about 99.99% accuracy?

They have a weird, rambling discussion about heroism or chivalry or something, which is really just an excuse for Linkara (the author) to sperg about the boundless wisdom of the fucking Camelot musical.
Basically it's about the philosophy of "Might for right", which is from the musical (and the book The Once and Future King which the musical is at least partially based on). Think "With great power comes great responsibility" or "The strong should help the weak", but formulated a bit weird because author T. H. White really wanted an antithesis for "Might makes right".
Despite being a big fan of the musical itself (he doesn't confirm it directly, but sings a song from the musical at the end of the chapter; I bet the author felt really clever with that part), using his god-like power to protect the weak and fight against injustice is like this brand new concept for him, which explains so much.

Then the sky darkens beause I guess Varek has decided to cast some Doomsday / Resurrect Darkness spell. Didn't he just want to create Dark Scientology? Oh, whatever.
Linkara wants to stop him, Thomas can't seem to make up his mind on whether or not Linkara's armor needs an upgrade or the kid just needs to believe in himself harder, so he just opens his secret stash of probably illegal firearms. Because we're back to porting over the mind battle excess into IRL. Complete with Linkara filling an entire douffle bag with guns. Where the fuck does Linkara (the author) even have this idea from? Every badass action hero I can think of carries their guns on their body, but this series is convinced there's nothing cooler than storing them in douffle bags.

I have like this dark premonition that Linkara will hand out guns to his muggle friends and family, and then they'll all pull off perfectly executed gun fu moves during some big, dumb fight featuring shadow monsters or some shit. Because Earth is a shithole planet, and we only exist to suffer.

We also get this discussion, which I have only slightly paraphrased for dramatic effect:

"I cannot use a sword, old man, for I have only one arm."

"Indeed, Linkara. All bladed weapons require two arms, so you cannot use them!"

(Seriously WTF was that?)

Conspiracy Theory Time

Atop the Fourth Wall is a stealth sequel /soft reboot of Angel Armor.

Now admittedly it doesn't map perfectly, as he doesn't have a magic gauntlet. Before his Contest of Champions, at least.
But he is a Linkara from a different universe, and also happens to be that universe's "champion".

Am I just going (more) insane, or did Linkara (the author) introduce the Multiverse of Linkaras (tm) in this book so he can tie everything he does creatively to his grander continutiy? You make the call.

(For extra tinfoils, I'm pretty sure he's already done at least his text reviews by the time this book was finished.)

ChapterShow

“Scientists are baffled by the sudden eclipse that seems to cover only the St. Paul area. NASA has reported that no satellites can detect anything obstructing the sun from the cities in orbit. The President is planning on making an address to the Nation later tonight at an unscheduled time if and when they can gain any more information on the eclipse. We have reporters on the scene at the moment describing...”

“It’s Varek, it has to be.” Indow said as she watched the news report, biting her lower lip gently in fear.

After her talk with Lightbringer in Pharos City, Indow had quickly flown back to Shoreview and Louis’ house, hoping that Louis would have returned, as well, so they could reconcile. When she found he hadn’t, she decided to stay the night and hope he returned in the morning. Lithmenar and Jordahn had advised Louis’ family not to go searching for him, thinking he’d return on his own when he was ready. No one had heard from Thesia or White Raven since they had left.

When the group awoke the next day, it was to a quickly-fading sunlight that became completely dark in a matter of minutes. They assembled in the living room and turned on the news, Jordahn standing behind the couch while the rest sat in the comfortable cushions, the warrior finding it increasingly irritating for her to be soothed when she knew enemies lurked nearby.

“If it is, what’s he up to? There’s got to be a more specific reason for this.” Jordahn stated.

“He’s got one. He’s calling me out.”

The group in front of the TV quickly turned their heads towards the kitchen. Louis stood in the entranceway of the kitchen to the living room, gently setting down his full duffel bag. He entered the living room and waved with a slight movement of his hand, wincing a little as he came closer.

“Listen, I need to apologize about last night...” he stated.

“You’re forgiven.” Indow replied, smiling as she stood up.

Louis ran over to Indow and hugged her with his one arm.

“Oh, thank God, I don’t think I’d get that much after all the dumb things I said...”

Indow just hugged him back, holding him tightly in her arms. “Just forget about it for now...”

“You said he was calling you out... but why the eclipse?” Jordahn queried.

“Yeah, he could have just as easily spelled out ‘mortal enemy come here’ in big letters in the sky.” George said.

“The Darkness...”

Everyone’s eyes widened. The voice that had spoken was White Raven’s, but it was weak and coming from the foyer. While those already standing began dashing for the main entrance of the house, those sitting were in the process of standing and following behind to reach her.

Everyone gasped in horror as they saw White Raven leaning herself against the doorway. Her hair was mussed up and uncared for and her face and any exposed areas of skin were littered with cuts and bruises. Her eyes looked tired and bloodshot and she fell forwards. Lithmenar leapt forward and caught her, gently holding her as she grasped his arms, looking up at him with tired and shocked eyes.

“He’s going to bring him back... He’s bringing back the Darkness!” she proclaimed before her body fell limp and her eyes closed.

*

“Take it easy, Raven, just tell us what happened from the beginning.” Louis said calmly.

White Raven sat at the kitchen table, physically drained and her body tingling. Indow had been quick to use her magicks to help heal much of the damage to her, but there was nothing she could do about her lack of sleep. George was helping her by trying to hold a drink cup for her, but after drinking some of the beverage itself, she pushed it away and winced in disgust.

“No more! No more of that vile concoction! By the pit, do you torture young children with that liquid?!”

“George, stop giving her Red Bull and let her explain.” Louis suggested.

Lithmenar brought her a glass of water and asked, “What happened to you? And where’s Thesia?”

White Raven took the water and drank it gratefully. After she had finished the glass, she explained:

“Thesia and I were pooling our resources before we went off to fight that Missing Number creature, trying to think of new ways to locate Varek. We managed to track some of the residual magic energy still present from the spell he had used to shift us into the sub- dimension and located where he has been operating out of. However, it seems he knew we would eventually locate him. His associate, that Darkbringer person, caught us completely off guard.

“Before we knew what was happening to us, we were directly fighting Varek and the Darkbringer. Thesia put up a valiant fight against Varek, but he managed to slam the broad side of his sword against her face and knocked her out. He ordered the Darkbringer to retreat since he needed to begin the ceremony to eclipse the sun and bring back the Darkness.”

“You said that before, what do you mean? Even if he did have the ability to resurrect the Darkness, he was killed on Sin, not here.” Indow stated.

“There’s something in the Black Oracle, some sort of spell that he believes will either bring the Darkness back to life or create an entity like him. The blotting out of the sun is but the first step, it’s what the Darkness did when it attacked Soyah 300 years ago. The next step will be demanding the hundred that will be the new Dark Knights. And then the Darkness will march forth through this world just as it did on Sin.” White Raven said.

“The government won’t just hand a hundred people over to him. It doesn’t matter what he threatens us with.” Louis’ father stated.

“Then he’ll take them by force and turn them into the fighting force he needs.” White Raven answered.

“Then let’s make sure he doesn’t get that far.”

Everyone looked out into the foyer. Alice stood inside with her hands in her pockets as the door squeaked and shut behind her, a result of the outer door’s spring. Alice walked up to them, smiling as she looked down at White Raven.

“We should just keep our door open 24/7 considering how many people just waltz right in...” George grumbled.

Ignoring George’s comment, Alice inquired, “You know where Varek’s base of operations is?”

White Raven nodded. “More or less.”

“Show us.” She said, taking White Raven’s arm and leading her towards the front door.

White Raven, too tired to resist, simply went along with her.

Lithmenar ran out in front of Alice and in front of the door, blocking her path. He crossed his arms and stood defiantly in her way, glaring at her with a stern, rigid look.

“Excuse me, but what do you mean, ‘We?!’ And furthermore, kindly do not drag around our friends like rag dolls!” he yelled.

“Alice, he’s right. I’m sorry, but it’s not like you can hack into Varek and delete some code in him. You’re not useful at all in this fight, not you or any of the others.” Louis said as he walked up closer to her.

Lithmenar extended his arm close to Alice as he began to speak: “So kindly leave this to us and do not so brazenly- AGH!”

Alice acted faster than Lithmenar thought possible for an untrained human to move, grabbing onto his outstretched arm and quickly pulling it behind his back, locking him in that position. He yelped in pain as she forced him down to the ground. The others blinked in surprise, their mouths gaping open in surprise as they beheld Alice’s less-than-predictable maneuvering. She looked over to Louis, winked at him, and then released Lithmenar from her grasp, standing in front of the door as she put her hands back in her pockets.

“Damn, Code Poet... Have you been taking martial arts classes from Mr. Hartnell?” Louis asked.

Alice shook her head. “As you can see, I’m not entirely useless in this fight in terms of my actual fighting skills. Of course, those said skills aren’t what I’m really bringing in to show my usefulness as your friend and ally, Louis.”

Louis smirked and raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “Oh, yeah? What are you bringing, then?”

“This.” Alice replied, opening the door and stepping outside.

The others followed her out, Jordahn helping White raven. For the fourth time in a matter of minutes, they had a reason to be surprised. At least half a dozen nondescript cars were parked in front of the house with three dozen men and women wearing business suits or riot gear loitering around, drinking coffee, or talking to one another. In addition to the average vehicles, there were two SWAT vans as well as an armored truck that was handing out handguns and rifles to the more protected individuals. Ted, Trevor, and Mandy stood nearby conversing with a woman who was showing them her own weapon.

“Alice, who are all these people?!” George demanded to know.

“The FBI. I asked them to stop here before we made our way out to Varek.” She replied.

“But how do you have so much pull with them?” Louis queried.

“Well, you know that rumor about how I hacked into the CIA mainframe? Well, it was a lie. It was the FBI’s mainframe I hacked into. It wasn’t easy for them to track it back to me, but they did it and raided my house. At first they thought I was a terrorist, but after learning I was just a really great hacker, they were so impressed by what I’d done that they made a deal with me – I could go to a detention facility and face the consequences or I could work for them.” She explained.

Louis smirked and wryly commented, “Oh, goody. Blackmail.”

“On the contrary, my sentence would’ve actually been very short thanks to being a minor. However, I liked the idea of working for the good guys and I’ve never regretted my choice. As the Code Poet, I’ve helped take down criminals across the United States and my position has earned me a lot of respect in the Bureau. I’m almost considered an independent agent these days, but they love me for what I can do for them and I love them back for letting me do the things I can do. They listened to me when I said we should let you handle Missing Number due its unusual circumstances, but they want this to be a joint operation when we attack Varek.” Alice stated.

“Alice, no offense, but in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly in the best shape for battle here. My armor’s being upgraded as we speak – long story, I’ll explain on the way – and my arm’s been cut off. How the heck do you think we’re going to beat him?”

“You know that spell you told us about? The one you used to beat the Darkness in the first place?” Alice queried.

“Lokmanwo?” Indow suggested, getting the gist of what she was saying. “You want me to cast a Lokmanwo spell on Louis? But he still doesn’t have his armor.”

“He won’t need it!” White Raven said exuberantly as she pulled herself to her own feet. “Back in Soyah when Myrrha had taken control of the Dark Knights, the Dark Sorcerers cast a Lokmanwo on her, feeding her enough energy that she was able to wield magic even though she had never had any real training with it!”

“So we just keep pumping enough people into Louis and he should be able to beat Varek?” Erica asked.

“Exactly. It’s why I brought the others, Louis. We’re all going to be there with you in the fight one way or another. Mr. and Mrs. Williamson, with your permission, you can contribute to the spell, as well, but then afterwards we’re taking you to a safe place.” Alice briefed.

“Just let me grab my bag and I’ll fill you guys in on what happened after I left last night!” Louis exclaimed, running back to the house to retrieve the items he had obtained from Thomas.

*

Varek glared down at the city streets below him and bit his lower lip. He had chosen the location of the ritual itself to be on the roof of the Landmark Center in downtown St. Paul thanks to its close proximity of the warehouse he had been living in. The Center may not have been the tallest building in the area, but he simply needed to have a fairly wide area around him for the Darkness to occupy once the ritual was complete. The Center was almost castle-like in its appearance, with gray stone walls and conical towers at each corner, the cones colored a light teal to contrast with the orange-red tile roofing. Window arches were a combination of triangular and half- circle shapes, implying a Victorian design in its construction.

The Darkbringer suddenly leapt to his side. Varek was becoming more and more impressed by the Darkbringer’s development. Within only a few days of gaining his new powers, he was more agile than any thief and his mastery of dark energies was rivaled by none but Varek himself (at least in Varek’s opinion).

Darkbringer stood and crossed his arms. The tips of his fingers were sharpening into points, a result, Varek conjectured, thanks to his difference in biology to humans from Sin.

“There doesn’t seem to be anyone here within a mile’s radius. Most of the people have fled due to the eclipse while others were evacuated. There are reporters trying to gain access, but I whipped up a bit of magic to mess with most of their equipment until you’re ready to send your message.” He stated.

“Good. Any resistance from local authorities?” Varek asked.

“There is a convoy of what I think are police on their way here. The Linkara is with them in one of the cars.” The Darkbringer answered.

Varek nodded. “Good. I have something to ask of you now, my Darkbringer.”

“What is your wish, my lord?”

“Leave.”

The Darkbringer raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Sir?”

Varek looked up the road as he saw the faintest shimmering of light reflecting off of a moving car’s surface. He could tell that the group of cars was coming quickly.

“I need you to leave here. I am no fool, Darkbringer. This will be my final confrontation with the Linkara. One of us shall not leave this place alive. While I have eternal faith in the Darkness, I cannot allow that destiny not be in our favor and he prevail over us. I have absolutely no faith in that whore back on Sin to try to keep the Darkness alive, either. It is you, Darkbringer, who must continue on if I fail. Go to where there are the downtrodden and the weak, go to places where hope is extinguished and give the people something real to believe in instead of the empty hollowness of the light. Find people to become like us. You made the copy of the Black Oracle, I take it?”

The Darkbringer nodded. “I’m not sure how a copy can even be made; didn’t you tell me that the book seems to be adding in new pages all the time? It’s how you discovered the spell to bring the Darkness itself here to begin with – it was not there when you first read it.”

“The Darkness makes plans within plans. Make sure no other copies are made. We cannot allow the power within the book to fall into the wrong hands.” Varek said.

“I shall go to Pharos City, my lord, and if you should fall, I will make sure the world ascends into darkness.” He promised.

Varek held out his hand to the Darkbringer. “In the Darkness’ name."

The Darkbringer took his hand and shook it, nodding. “In his name."

And with that, the Darkbringer leapt off of the roof of the Landmark Center, swinging on a flagpole nearby and making his way across rooftops away from Varek.

The Destroyer glanced over at his blonde captive, tied with heavy rope around a pyramid spire of the building and only now beginning to stir from her slumber. He then looked back to the oncoming trucks and took in a deep breath.

“This is where it shall be decided. My entire life has led me to this moment...”

RiffingShow

“Scientists are baffled by the sudden eclipse that seems to cover only the St. Paul area. NASA has reported that no satellites can detect anything obstructing the sun from the cities in orbit. The President is planning on making an address to the Nation later tonight at an unscheduled time if and when they can gain any more information on the eclipse. We have reporters on the scene at the moment describing...”

Must be slow news week if a small-scale freak weather phenomenon that can't have been going on for more than two hours (and honestly sounds more like a hoax at this point) is treated like the next 9/11.
Speaking of one of the greatest disasters in modern history: what about the Lightbringer? Will he fly over to the neighboring town to check WTF is going on there, or will this be a repeat of last book's Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Letdown?

“It’s Varek, it has to be.” Indow said as she watched the news report, biting her lower lip gently in fear.

(TBF it's possible that Mr. Burns is up to his old tricks again.)

Also shouldn't you be busy using your magic to figure out WTF is going on?

After her talk with Lightbringer in Pharos City, Indow had quickly flown back to Shoreview and Louis’ house, hoping that Louis would have returned, as well, so they could reconcile. When she found he hadn’t, she decided to stay the night and hope he returned in the morning.

You don't appear to have a whole lot of agency in this.
How about using your magic to find him? You put a magic tracker on Lithmenar's fucking pendant for shits and giggles. You telling me you've got nothing on your sweetheart and messiah?

Lithmenar and Jordahn had advised Louis’ family not to go searching for him, thinking he’d return on his own when he was ready. No one had heard from Thesia or White Raven since they had left.

"Don't worry about your flesh and blood. I'm sure he'll return on his own eventually!"

"Okay, stranger from a another world!"

Worst. Parents. Ever.

When the group awoke the next day, it was to a quickly-fading sunlight that became completely dark in a matter of minutes.

I love how our heroes noticed the eclipse right when it started.
What's up with this book being all fancy about telling the story out of sequence? I think it's so Linkara (the author) can abridge more "boring" shit.
Also I just remembered this usually happens to fellowship scenes when Linkara isn't around (or knocked out). No wonder this book is so short.

They assembled in the living room and turned on the news, Jordahn standing behind the couch while the rest sat in the comfortable cushions, the warrior finding it increasingly irritating for her to be soothed when she knew enemies lurked nearby.

What do you expect to hear from these news reports? The people making these have even less of a clue WTF is going on than you.
And go eat an apple, Gyaru Casca.

“If it is, what’s he up to? There’s got to be a more specific reason for this.” Jordahn stated.

A "more specific" reason? Right now you don't even have a vague reason for why he's doing this.

“He’s got one. He’s calling me out.”

The group in front of the TV quickly turned their heads towards the kitchen. Louis stood in the entranceway of the kitchen to the living room, gently setting down his full duffel bag.

I know you love interrupting your minions in this book for dramatic effect, but how long have you been standing there, waiting for just the right moment?
And really? He's calling you out? And here I thought he'd do some important ritual or something...
Also that douffle bag probably contains at least your body weight in guns and ammo. There's no gentle way to settle that shit down.

He entered the living room and waved with a slight movement of his hand, wincing a little as he came closer.

“Listen, I need to apologize about last night...” he stated.

“You’re forgiven.” Indow replied, smiling as she stood up.

Louis ran over to Indow and hugged her with his one arm.

“Oh, thank God, I don’t think I’d get that much after all the dumb things I said...”

Indow just hugged him back, holding him tightly in her arms. “Just forget about it for now...”

So much for that drama. Was fun while it lasted, I guess.

“You said he was calling you out... but why the eclipse?” Jordahn queried.

“Yeah, he could have just as easily spelled out ‘mortal enemy come here’ in big letters in the sky.” George said.

You're Linkara's brother alright.

“The Darkness...”

Everyone’s eyes widened. The voice that had spoken was White Raven’s, but it was weak and coming from the foyer.

Is the main door not locked or something? Or did Linkara's parents hand out keys to everyone? Either way you probably still want to ring the fucking bell if you're running on fumes like that.
Anything so everyone can dramatically interrupt an ongoing discussion at any time I guess...

While those already standing began dashing for the main entrance of the house, those sitting were in the process of standing and following behind to reach her.

"The people who already stood ran to her. Those who sat had to stand up first."

Get the fuck outta here, Tolkien. Fantasy literature has a new master now!

Everyone gasped in horror as they saw White Raven leaning herself against the doorway.

I'm pretty sure you've all seen more horrifying sights.

Her hair was mussed up and uncared for and her face and any exposed areas of skin were littered with cuts and bruises. Her eyes looked tired and bloodshot and she fell forwards.

Oh, that's what got you pissing your pants. The Dorkbringer has cast Domestic Abuse on her!

Lithmenar leapt forward and caught her, gently holding her as she grasped his arms, looking up at him with tired and shocked eyes.

“He’s going to bring him back... He’s bringing back the Darkness!” she proclaimed before her body fell limp and her eyes closed.

Oh, so this ritual actually does something productive. This might actually raise the stakes if we didn't know that Linkara could just one-shot it again. At this point in the series, the Darkness is effectively Cyborg Tao Pai Pai.

*

“Take it easy, Raven, just tell us what happened from the beginning.” Louis said calmly.

I guess we won't get a "cool" warehouse brawl? That's actually a good thing with this writing.

White Raven sat at the kitchen table, physically drained and her body tingling. Indow had been quick to use her magicks to help heal much of the damage to her, but there was nothing she could do about her lack of sleep.

Okay, I can get the bruises and cuts, and even the messy hair. But why are you sleepy? Unless your nightly warehouse raid somehow took 12 hours or so I feel like that's all on you.

George was helping her by trying to hold a drink cup for her, but after drinking some of the beverage itself, she pushed it away and winced in disgust.

“No more! No more of that vile concoction! By the pit, do you torture young children with that liquid?!”

“George, stop giving her Red Bull and let her explain.” Louis suggested.

I'm glad we're getting this as an in-universe narration so we can have hilarious interruptions like these.

Lithmenar brought her a glass of water and asked, “What happened to you? And where’s Thesia?”

Raven fell down the stairs.
As for Thesia my guesses are dead (again), captured or turned evil (again; though I'm not sure she ever stopped being evil).

White Raven took the water and drank it gratefully. After she had finished the glass, she explained:

“Thesia and I were pooling our resources before we went off to fight that Missing Number creature, trying to think of new ways to locate Varek. We managed to track some of the residual magic energy still present from the spell he had used to shift us into the sub- dimension and located where he has been operating out of. However, it seems he knew we would eventually locate him. His associate, that Darkbringer person, caught us completely off guard.

You're shocked and amazed that Varek didn't expect unwelcome guests (either due to him using magic himself, or just general paranoia)?
I could almost understand it if you sneaked into the place, but no. Instead you...

... kicked down the door.
... charged in roaring like a group of troons who just recognized J. K. Rowling in the women's bathroom.
... spotted Varek being suspiciously ignorant of your little entry ceremony.
... didn't see the Dorkbringer anywhere.

And yet you act surprised when it turns out this was a trap?

“Before we knew what was happening to us, we were directly fighting Varek and the Darkbringer."

Erm, isn't that exactly what you were there for? This was certainly no intel gathering mission.

"Thesia put up a valiant fight against Varek, but he managed to slam the broad side of his sword against her face and knocked her out. He ordered the Darkbringer to retreat since he needed to begin the ceremony to eclipse the sun and bring back the Darkness.”

I don't think they needed to know the exact way she got knocked out. It's a bit of a superfluous detail. And extra weird because we don't actually find out how her fight with the Dorkbringer went.

Now this isn't spelled out directly, but I guess they just kidnapped Thesia and left Raven alone? Boy, I sure love it when the only reason our heroes are still alive is because the bad guys keep them alive for no reason. It's like we're back in Book 1 or something.

“You said that before, what do you mean? Even if he did have the ability to resurrect the Darkness, he was killed on Sin, not here.” Indow stated.

Is that another arbitrary limitation of healing magic?

“There’s something in the Black Oracle, some sort of spell that he believes will either bring the Darkness back to life or create an entity like him."

Seems Varek was awfully chatty during that failed raid.
And you'd think the spell would be more specific on what it actually does.

The blotting out of the sun is but the first step, it’s what the Darkness did when it attacked Soyah 300 years ago.

Is that like a necessary component of the spell, or just show?

"The next step will be demanding the hundred that will be the new Dark Knights. And then the Darkness will march forth through this world just as it did on Sin.” White Raven said.

Why? The Darkness was already on Sin, and he got those 100 Dark Knights from a deal to use for human experiments. Why do they need to recreate these events that closely?

“The government won’t just hand a hundred people over to him. It doesn’t matter what he threatens us with.” Louis’ father stated.

Unless we're talking about illegal immigrants.

“Then he’ll take them by force and turn them into the fighting force he needs.” White Raven answered.

I thought the idea was to convert them using Dark Scientology because everyone on Earth would be so on board with becoming an emotionless goth.

“Then let’s make sure he doesn’t get that far.”

Everyone looked out into the foyer. Alice stood inside with her hands in her pockets as the door squeaked and shut behind her, a result of the outer door’s spring. Alice walked up to them, smiling as she looked down at White Raven.

Hey look. It's the Code Poet. I wasn't aware she wasn't already hanging out with the others. In fact I don't actually know who exactly is in this scene.
And what's with the pose? I think you're overestimating how cool having your hands in your pockets looks if you're not rocking a trench coat and hat.

“We should just keep our door open 24/7 considering how many people just waltz right in...” George grumbled.

I'm pretty sure it is already open 24/7, if this chapter is anything to go by.

Ignoring George’s comment, Alice inquired, “You know where Varek’s base of operations is?”

White Raven nodded. “More or less.”

“Show us.” She said, taking White Raven’s arm and leading her towards the front door.

White Raven, too tired to resist, simply went along with her.

"I don't care if you're tired, bitch. You're comin' with me!"

Now this probable kidnapping is a bit weird, but what are the alternatives? They kinda have to attempt another raid. They can't just do nothing, sit around at the TV all day and hope that the Dark Duo won't succeed with their quest, can they?

But wait. Didn't Raven just say they left the warehouse?

Lithmenar ran out in front of Alice and in front of the door, blocking her path. He crossed his arms and stood defiantly in her way, glaring at her with a stern, rigid look.

“Excuse me, but what do you mean, ‘We?!’ And furthermore, kindly do not drag around our friends like rag dolls!” he yelled.

Now I would've expected you to bitch and moan to do just about anything that doesn't involve filling your pockets with stolen riches, but since when do you care so much about your "friends"?
He's gonna get his ass kicked, isn't he?

“Alice, he’s right. I’m sorry, but it’s not like you can hack into Varek and delete some code in him. You’re not useful at all in this fight, not you or any of the others.” Louis said as he walked up closer to her.

I'm pretty sure she expects you guys to come with her.

Lithmenar extended his arm close to Alice as he began to speak: “So kindly leave this to us and do not so brazenly- AGH!”

Alice acted faster than Lithmenar thought possible for an untrained human to move, grabbing onto his outstretched arm and quickly pulling it behind his back, locking him in that position. He yelped in pain as she forced him down to the ground. The others blinked in surprise, their mouths gaping open in surprise as they beheld Alice’s less-than-predictable maneuvering. She looked over to Louis, winked at him, and then released Lithmenar from her grasp, standing in front of the door as she put her hands back in her pockets.

Seems that Earth has the better Bene Gesserit training.
This is probably about her being an FBI agent in the Lightbringer comics, but I think there are more civilized ways of showing that off.

“Damn, Code Poet... Have you been taking martial arts classes from Mr. Hartnell?” Louis asked.

"We schoolgirls have to take mandatory self-defense courses, now that all the rapists and slavers from Pharos City have set up camp here."

Alice shook her head. “As you can see, I’m not entirely useless in this fight in terms of my actual fighting skills."

I don't think the magical superhumans will be impressed by your little martial arts tricks.

"Of course, those said skills aren’t what I’m really bringing in to show my usefulness as your friend and ally, Louis.”

Louis smirked and raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “Oh, yeah? What are you bringing, then?”

“This.” Alice replied, opening the door and stepping outside. The others followed her out, Jordahn helping White raven. For the fourth time in a matter of minutes, they had a reason to be surprised.

At least half a dozen nondescript cars were parked in front of the house with three dozen men and women wearing business suits or riot gear loitering around, drinking coffee, or talking to one another. In addition to the average vehicles, there were two SWAT vans as well as an armored truck that was handing out handguns and rifles to the more protected individuals.

"Should we come with you, Code Poet?"
"Oh no. I'm gonna let them think I'm just a dumb kid. It'll be hilarious once they see that I'm with you guys!"

Fucking Code Poet, man.
Also why are they loitering here? They have cars. They can hang out and meet up for the raid literally anywhere.

Ted, Trevor, and Mandy stood nearby conversing with a woman who was showing them her own weapon.

Now what are they doing here? Unless they're also working for the government they have no reason being here. And why is that government official flexing with her gun in front of kids?

“Alice, who are all these people?!” George demanded to know.

“The FBI. I asked them to stop here before we made our way out to Varek.” She replied.

Pretty sure they will accomplish fuckall in the big showdown, considering that Varek seemed unimpressed by guns, but it's the thought that counts, I guess.

“Well, you know that rumor about how I hacked into the CIA mainframe? Well, it was a lie. It was the FBI’s mainframe I hacked into."

"I told everyone that I hacked the other intelligence agency! That ought to keep 'em off track!"

At least I'm pretty sure it was her who spread that rumor in the first place? I mean, how else are people gonna hear about it?
And I can't help but feel like Linkara (the author) changed his mind about which agency she's working for, and couldn't be arsed to change previous mentions of the CIA.

"It wasn’t easy for them to track it back to me, but they did it and raided my house. At first they thought I was a terrorist, but after learning I was just a really great hacker, they were so impressed by what I’d done that they made a deal with me – I could go to a detention facility and face the consequences or I could work for them.” She explained.

Should've gotten NordVPN. And you just had to do an extra flex with that hard-to-track part, didn't you

?

Louis smirked and wryly commented, “Oh, goody. Blackmail.”

“On the contrary, my sentence would’ve actually been very short thanks to being a minor."

Actually, if they felt like really ruining your life they could've tried you as an adult. Especially since you managed to hack the FBI.

"However, I liked the idea of working for the good guys and I’ve never regretted my choice."

I mean the other choice would've involved getting raped by prison dykes...
And what are modern Leftists' stances of the FBI? There's gotta be something problematic about them.

"As the Code Poet, I’ve helped take down criminals across the United States and my position has earned me a lot of respect in the Bureau."

More flexing I see

I’m almost considered an independent agent these days, but they love me for what I can do for them and I love them back for letting me do the things I can do.

What even is an "independent agent" in this context? If it's about them not barking orders at you all the time, it's probably because you're underage and therefore technically not allowed to be a "real" employee.
Though speaking of your "job", you're effectively a freelance hacker. Why do you participate in this upcoming raid (beyond recruiting your friend with the magical power armor)? And while we're at it, why did you become the Lightbringer's government liaison? What does your skill set have to do with any of this?

"They listened to me when I said we should let you handle Missing Number due its unusual circumstances, but they want this to be a joint operation when we attack Varek.” Alice stated.

Anyting to delay the involvement of the proper authorities I guess.

“Alice, no offense, but in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly in the best shape for battle here. My armor’s being upgraded as we speak – long story, I’ll explain on the way – and my arm’s been cut off. How the heck do you think we’re going to beat him?”

Wait, you did leave your gauntlet with the old man to get upgraded? Then why did you leave in the first place if you're not gonna do anything before the upgrade is finished? And why did you bring a shitload of guns with you?

“You know that spell you told us about? The one you used to beat the Darkness in the first place?” Alice queried.

I know it's a bit late to complain about it, but I find the constant use of "queried" really annoying.

“Lokmanwo?” Indow suggested, getting the gist of what she was saying. “You want me to cast a Lokmanwo spell on Louis? But he still doesn’t have his armor.”

Not sure if this matters considering I have no idea how the spell has actually affected him in that final battle.

“He won’t need it!” White Raven said exuberantly as she pulled herself to her own feet. “Back in Soyah when Myrrha had taken control of the Dark Knights, the Dark Sorcerers cast a Lokmanwo on her, feeding her enough energy that she was able to wield magic even though she had never had any real training with it!”

Turns out the spell works on people who don't have a celestial suit of super-armor. What a shocker.
And you're sure about the no magic thing? The Darkness has turned her into a Horsema'am with a decaying touch in Book 1, so I don't think she was entirely normal after that.
Then again she used that OP ability at most twice in the entire series, so I won't fault you for forgetting it.

Also she got pumped full of magic juice by a small army of spellcasters, which might have had an impact on her Super Saiyan abilities.

“So we just keep pumping enough people into Louis and he should be able to beat Varek?” Erica asked.

“Exactly. It’s why I brought the others, Louis. We’re all going to be there with you in the fight one way or another. Mr. and Mrs. Williamson, with your permission, you can contribute to the spell, as well, but then afterwards we’re taking you to a safe place.” Alice briefed.

This sounds like the "epic" finale of the At4W movie, where Linkara's lesser reviewer friends lend him their energy so he could defeat MechaKara with one shot.

“Just let me grab my bag and I’ll fill you guys in on what happened after I left last night!” Louis exclaimed, running back to the house to retrieve the items he had obtained from Thomas.

Dude. They're gonna turn you into a Super Saiyan. You think some fucking pistols are gonna make a difference?

*

Varek glared down at the city streets below him and bit his lower lip.

Great. Now they're doing that biting for no reason.

He had chosen the location of the ritual itself to be on the roof of the Landmark Center in downtown St. Paul thanks to its close proximity of the warehouse he had been living in.

It's this thing:

Not a fan of the cyan. Looks tacky af.
Also picking it just because you couldn't be arsed to fly farther away doesn't sound very impressive.

The Center may not have been the tallest building in the area, but he simply needed to have a fairly wide area around him for the Darkness to occupy once the ritual was complete.

How about picking a park or stadium instead?
I mean, there's the Xcel Energy Center located a stone's throw away from this building. You'd have to be blind to not see it from the roof.
Also there's the Rice Park, which is right next to it.
And if that's not enough, there's the fucking St. Paul Downtown Airport just on the other side of the Mississippi River, not to mention all the parks just a few miles away.

I just googled this shit in 5 minutes. WTF, man? Admit it. You just wanted a dumb rooftop duel.

The Center was almost castle-like in its appearance, with gray stone walls and conical towers at each corner, the cones colored a light teal to contrast with the orange-red tile roofing.

At least he didn't compare it to Notre-Fucking-Dame again.

Window arches were a combination of triangular and half- circle shapes, implying a Victorian design in its construction.

Technically it's Richardsonian Romanesque, which was inspired by European architecture from the 10th to 13th century.

The Darkbringer suddenly leapt to his side. Varek was becoming more and more impressed by the Darkbringer’s development.

That's a weird usage of "suddenly".

Within only a few days of gaining his new powers, he was more agile than any thief and his mastery of dark energies was rivaled by none but Varek himself (at least in Varek’s opinion).

Don't act to surprised if he stabs you in the back to become the one true Darkness champion.

Darkbringer stood and crossed his arms. The tips of his fingers were sharpening into points, a result, Varek conjectured, thanks to his difference in biology to humans from Sin.

Again with the dumb difference in biology. I don't see Indow and crew shitting their guts out because they can't handle Earth microbes, so it can't be too different.
And do you mean that his nails are growing sharp, or the whole fingertips?

“There doesn’t seem to be anyone here within a mile’s radius. Most of the people have fled due to the eclipse while others were evacuated."

Really? This is downtown St. Paul. Even if they were that freaked out by the sky getting dark, they wouldn't be able to evacuate that fast even if they wanted to. The streets would be full of honking cars.

"There are reporters trying to gain access, but I whipped up a bit of magic to mess with most of their equipment until you’re ready to send your message.” He stated.

How nice of you to leave them alive.
Can't you just use magic to project your mugs onto the sky or something?

“Good. Any resistance from local authorities?” Varek asked.

“There is a convoy of what I think are police on their way here. The Linkara is with them in one of the cars.” The Darkbringer answered.

How do you know that? And why didn't you just blow up the cars?

Varek nodded. “Good. I have something to ask of you now, my Darkbringer.”

“What is your wish, my lord?”

“Leave.”

The Darkbringer raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Sir?”

Or "I need you to fuck off so you can show up in the Lightbringer webcomic". Pick your poison.

Varek looked up the road as he saw the faintest shimmering of light reflecting off of a moving car’s surface. He could tell that the group of cars was coming quickly.

And you're not blowing them up because...?

“I need you to leave here. I am no fool, Darkbringer. This will be my final confrontation with the Linkara. One of us shall not leave this place alive."

Just blow up the fucking car. There's not much confronting to be done when Linkara is stuck in a burning wreck with most of his bones broken.

"While I have eternal faith in the Darkness, I cannot allow that destiny not be in our favor and he prevail over us. I have absolutely no faith in that whore back on Sin to try to keep the Darkness alive, either."

She stopped caring about the Darkness about two books ago, and was very clear on that part.

"It is you, Darkbringer, who must continue on if I fail. Go to where there are the downtrodden and the weak, go to places where hope is extinguished and give the people something real to believe in instead of the empty hollowness of the light. Find people to become like us."

You love to bring up that you're just trying to "help" people, but so far you have done fuckall in that department. Where's your army of super-powered hobos, HMMM~?

(Also if I remember the webcomic correctly, the Dorkbringer will also do fuckall in terms of "helping".)

"You made the copy of the Black Oracle, I take it?”

The Darkbringer nodded. “I’m not sure how a copy can even be made; didn’t you tell me that the book seems to be adding in new pages all the time? It’s how you discovered the spell to bring the Darkness itself here to begin with – it was not there when you first read it.”

“The Darkness makes plans within plans. Make sure no other copies are made. We cannot allow the power within the book to fall into the wrong hands.” Varek said.

So did he make a copy or not? And if he did, shouldn't you be able to tell if it's as cursed as the original?
And if you fear that you might fall in this battle, shouldn't you hand the original to the Dorkbringer, just to be on the safe side?

And what "wrong" hands? Near as I can tell reading it corrupts you. Upload that shit to the internet or something.

“I shall go to Pharos City, my lord, and if you should fall, I will make sure the world ascends into darkness.” He promised.

And you decided to go to the only city in the entire world that has a capeshitter protecting it because...?

Varek held out his hand to the Darkbringer. “In the Darkness’ name."

The Darkbringer took his hand and shook it, nodding. “In his name."

You should really work on those slogans for this religion you say you want to spread, but never actually do.

And with that, the Darkbringer leapt off of the roof of the Landmark Center, swinging on a flagpole nearby and making his way across rooftops away from Varek.

Motherfucker just fly. Every spellcaster in this book can do it.
How's this gonna look once you actually leave the city? Will you have to steal a car, or are you just gonna jog over to Pharos City?

The Destroyer glanced over at his blonde captive, tied with heavy rope around a pyramid spire of the building and only now beginning to stir from her slumber. He then looked back to the oncoming trucks and took in a deep breath.

“This is where it shall be decided. My entire life has led me to this moment...”

FFS blow up the fucking cars.

Next Time: The prelude to the final duel I think. Are you at the edge of your seats yet? I sure am not.

Post by **VoiceOfReasonPast** » Sun Jul 06, 2025 7:59 pm

Book 4, Chapter 15 - Dark Beginnings
(Or: Varek: Before Journey's Start)

The FBI has arrived to... probably not accomplish much besides dying, but still. The thrilling finale is getting closer, chapter by painful chapter.

"Remember when Indow got raped?" Count: 12
"Baddies Never Smile" Count: 21
And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

Only half-joking, unfortunately. It was mostly a bunch of nothing, lame exposition and tie-ins with the Lightbringer webcomic that felt like they existed for the sake of existing, instead of meaningfully tying the two "IPs" together in any meaningful way.

We also got a hilarious running gag where random people would just waltz into the Williamson Manor to surprise the cast for dramatic effect, like it's some kind of soap opera theater play. Fuck locking your door, I guess. Hope the crime rate isn't too high, or this might get ugly.

We start with Linkara's family and the remaining fellowship just sitting around watching TV, because without their Lord and Savior the Great Linkara they have no agency on their own and would probably just continue to watch the news as the word gets doomed.
Luckily Linkara does arrive, and his previous temper tantrum is forgiven and forgotten without much work from him, as if this drama couldn't get any more performative.
Well at least Indow has forgiven and forgotten. I have no idea how Lithmenar feels about him having made fun of his dead waifu. Though nobody else seems to care, so why should I?

Then it is Raven's turn to make her dramatic entrance. Turns out that after they got their shit kicked in by the Dark Duo, they proceeded to kidnap Thesia (for some reason) and also left her alone and alive (for some reason). It's just hack writing and an excuse to have someone explain Varek's ultimate plan, which he has of course shared with Raven (for some reason).
Remember how Sinnians from both sides have been going on and on how Earth would be ripe for the taking for the Dork Side, and how easy it would be for Varek to recruit more followers?
Yeah, he's not doing any of that shit. He just wants to either revive the Dorkness, or make a new Dorkness. The spell's apparently not very specific on that part, and that's before we factor in that Sinnian spells are allegedly hard to predict when cast on Earth (except it only happens when the plot calls for random nonsense to happen).
Also he apparently needs 100 guinea pigs to turn into Dark Knights for this to work for some reason. Probably just a dumb excuse to delay the ritual.
Oh, and he picked the rooftop of some old building in Downtown St. Paul for the final showdown. Because the resurrection will require a "fairly wide area". Except there multiple wider areas within sight of his current location:

And then the Code Poet barges in. She does some mild trolling and then starts bragging about how she's working for the FBI and is pretty hot shit. She also brought about two dozen or so FBI agents and SWAT members to join in on the final attack on Varek.

But there is drama afoot after all! You see, despite being unwiling to wait for his gauntlet getting upgraded and storming off with a bag full of guns, Linkara has left his gauntlet to be upgraded and apparently doesn't want to stop Varek until it's done after all.

Seriously why the fuck did you leave at all - and without your gauntlet no less? What was your original plan supposed to be if that FBI team hadn't shown up?

"Okay, here's a bunch of guns. You can use them if you want to stop Varek I guess. I certainly won't, 'cause I gave away my gauntlet. I guess I'll just chill out and watch the world burn on TV."

Oh, fuck it. Let's just keep going.

Instead of just driving over to the old man and just getting the gauntlet back, they have a much dumber idea: The Genkidama spell from the first two books. Because if it can turn Myrrha into a fucking Super Saiyan, it ought to work just as well on Linkara!
Except Myrrha had dozens of spellcasters at her command.
And probably hundreds of energy donors.
And a good chunk of them still died from the stress.
But I'm sure it'll work out.

Why use it to power up Linkara, though? Without his precious gauntlet, he's just a dumb kid with a missing arm. Literally every other member of the fellowship would be a superior choice.
Indow is probably out of the question because she has to do the ritual, but what about Raven? She has centuries worth of combat experience and actually does have some knowledge about the magic arts.
But no. This is a self-insert power fantasy story, so even the US government acknowledges that the self-insert has to do all the important stuff

(Also 10bux that the spell is gonna cause his arm to grow back. Because fuck arbitrary magic rules established just a few chapters ago. The Great Linkara must never face long-term consequences for his actions!)

Over at the Dark Duo, Varek just tells the Dorkbringer to fuck off, so he can be in pristine condition for his webcomic debut continue the legacy of Dorkness should Varek fail and die in battle.
I'm pretty sure having the Dorkbringer around would make failing a lot more unlikely, but whatever.
And what happened to starting Dark Scientology? That was the Dorkbringer's elevator pitch, and you keep bragging about how it would be so easy to convert people - but you never did anything, so your grand revival of the Dork Faith is just you two guys. Great job!

For extra retardation, they are aware that the heroes are coming at them in cars, and they can even see the cars - but they apparently don't think about just blowing them up.

ChapterShow

...And may I fall into oblivion if I should fail.

Nothing else matters anymore, only resurrecting the Great Darkness. When I think of his glory, his absolute magnificence, it makes me want to smile and be joyous. But I restrain myself, knowing that those are the things that no servant of the Darkness should ever allow himself to experience. And yes, it’s himself. I never understood why the Darkness would ever allow women to be a part of his plans. They are vile beings, to the last one. Everything about them implies weakness. They are no better than breeding horses, to be used only to produce more warriors for the Darkness.

Blood Raven betrayed the Darkness’ ideals first. I don’t understand why the Darkness didn’t see that her weakness was because of her femininity. Of course, I was but a simple soldier in those days. I dared not question the Darkness nor his ways. He believed in equality for all under his rule, regardless of gender or species. I said once that in shadow, there is no gender or distinction amongst us. But Blood Raven was the first sign. She showed what happens when you let emotional creatures like women enter into perfection – they betray it.

At least the Darkness was wise enough to expel her after that incident. Myrrha’s shameful actions should have earned her a similar fate, but instead she got promoted.

“The Darkness has requested that I come before him, as well as three other Potents and a General exploring the border of Jilad and Kien.” She said to me.

“Perhaps he has grown tired of your incessant boastings.” I replied to her.

Myrrha rolled her eyes as she looked out into the night. Her Assault Squadron had been in retreat ever since the King of Ai had sprung his trap with the aide of the Linkara, forcing the remaining Dark Knights in the land to retreat back to Ünaré. At the time, I was on the retreat, as well. After several failed attempts to resurrect the demon Gritsnak, I was to meet with a mercenary who claimed to have access to spells that would guarantee the return of the fallen demon, who had been slain over a century ago when magicks had first been discovered by the Linkaran religion.

I despised Myrrha as much as I despise her now, but for different reasons. Back then, other than being a woman, I had only one other reason for hating her. But now, after the Darkness gave her back her emotions as a way of ensuring that the other Dark Knights need not feel jealous of the elite Horsemen of the Armageddon, she has become a power-mad dictator, who embraces her restored happiness and laughter so that she might drink and whore herself out to make up for lost time while also trying to dominate anyone and everything she can get her hands on.

“Are you jealous, Destroyer, of my newfound fame among the Dark Knights and the favor that has been granted to me by the Darkness?” she inquired.

“I do not become jealous, Potent. I am appalled by how you’ve gained notoriety for something so idiotic. And you shall address me by my proper title. You do not even deserve the title of Potent, and yet there is rumor speculating amongst many circles that your status will be rising because of what you did. Having sex with a Linkaran Priestess?! It’s ridiculous! Dark Knights raid churches all the time and rape the Priestesses... the Priests, sometimes, as well.”

“Ah, but there is a difference, General. What I did with her was by her own consent. A Linkaran Priestess submitted herself to be soiled by a Dark Knight by her own choice. That is what has made me more famous than others and that is why the Darkness will be promoting me.”

“To gain fame for such a thing... If we lose this war, Potent, it will be because of people like you, not because of the Linkara. In any case, you shall receive no promotion. The Darkness would never allow you a higher status for such a base thing.”

But she did get promoted. And the Darkness removed the emotional blocks. She became psychotic and lustful, giving in to her pleasures and desires instead of just doing what the Darkness commanded. In that respect, I suppose, I’m satisfied that I was never chosen to become a Horseman of the Armageddon. Of course, at least Myrrha had some semblance of sanity within her during that first time I met her. The next woman I had to be partnered with had had her senses knocked out of her long ago.

She’d laugh a deep, throaty laugh and I’d cringe. It wasn’t even a natural laugh of ‘Ha.’ For some reason, she’d do it slowly and it sounded more like ‘Haw’ or ‘Ho.’ The Darkness had given me strict orders not to harm her until Gritsnak was resurrected, but how I so wished I could have silenced her by jamming my sword down her throat. Instead, I just had to stand idly by while she smugly stood in her red armor, laughing insanely at our enemies when there was but a simple sign of defeat on their part. She couldn’t succeed in even killing one of them, and yet she always stood confidently!

Thesia the Conqueror, I hated you from the very moment I met you.

“So, you are the famed General of destruction!” she had said to me, smiling.

Smiling... She was always smiling...

“My name is Varek, woman. My nickname is Destroyer, but you shall address me as ‘General’ or ‘Sir.’”

“Sorry, can’t do that, Varek. I’m afraid I’ve no desire to be under your command. I am here merely to assist you and your Darkness where you’ve failed. But perhaps you and I could get a little more acquainted with one another later?” she had said, wrapping her arms over my shoulders and looking into my eyes with lust.

Filthy cow. Just for that, I should have cut her stomach open with my blade. Women are whores and all they crave is sex. Every woman I’ve seen or heard about has been like that. It was always like it from the start, from the very first woman I ever had the misfortune of meeting.

“Varel, darling, go into the other room, mother has to help some of her ‘friends’ out.”

I was never really a child; I know that now, and I’m glad I never was. Children are taught to believe things contrary to what the nature of things are. They’re taught light and told to embrace it instead of giving in to darkness, the natural state of things until light perverts it by revealing the ugliness behind it all. It’s why my mother never whored herself out at night and always kept the candles on in her room when she brought home ‘friends.’

I stood in the other room listening to her take multiple men into her room a night. They’d use her and discard her after an hour. Whenever I ventured into her room afterwards, she was a drunken wreck, her body covered in whiskey and other liquids. She was so inebriated she couldn’t even open her eyes. Sometimes I’d prop her up so she wouldn’t choke on her own vomit. After a few years I finally asked myself the all-important question – why bother? Let her destroy herself.

Or better yet, cleanse myself of her and eliminate her sickness from my life.

I did it after one of her sessions. The men left and I went into her room like I normally would. She was a little more conscious this time, much to my surprise, but she was in no state to fight me off. I took one of the kitchen knives, one of the ones I had used to make my own meals since I was five years old and plunged it through her heart. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes after I had done the deed. She simply stared back at me, as if she couldn’t contemplate what I had done and why. Could she not even comprehend what she had become and what she had done to me?

I left afterwards, venturing out on my own to create meaning in my life. I stole what I needed to survive and killed whoever would threaten my independence. I was lost on more than one occasion, starving for several days as I tried to find the next sign of civilization. By the time I was fourteen, I had made my way into Jilad. I had never read a newspaper... by the Pit, I didn’t even know how to read at the time.

I had heard whispers and talk, of course, about some dark force that had taken control of the city of Soyah and massacred its inhabitants, slowly spreading its forces across the land, but I had never paid any mind to it. After all, I had no idea where Jilad or Soyah were.

Perhaps it was destiny that guided me, but I never encountered a single Dark Knight on my journeying. I went south and eventually I came upon Soyah. The place had only been destroyed a few years back, but the stink of its inhabitants still hung in the air. The Darkness had not yet taken human form, so when I went into the city, he was in his immense, gelatinous form.

“Who is so brazen as to enter my presence unannounced?”

“I... What are you?!” I asked.

I could hardly believe my eyes as this great blob of black... stuff spoke to me. I had never set eyes upon an Orc, much less a creature such as this.

“I am Darkness, child. What is your name and what are you doing here?”

“I... I was just traveling and- and...”

I could barely get out my words. I half-expected the Darkness simply to swoop down with a mighty tentacle and crush my frail young form right there, but it didn’t. He had obviously grown impatient with my fear and decided a more direct route of communication was needed. Reflecting upon it now, I don’t even think the Darkness was angry that I had come. He was altogether curious by it, I think.

The Darkness gently moved a tentacle above me, a liquid portion of its body dropping before the appendage was reabsorbed by he whole of the mass. The black drop splashed on top of me and in that instant I was changed. I had been pulled into the telepathic link shared between all of the Dark Knights. We could not read one another’s thoughts, of course, but we could speak to one another over it or express our own emotions unto the others. It was a very satisfying experience, to suddenly be without happiness, in the calm serenity where I no longer had to worry or be consumed by my feelings, but merely experience the anger, sadness, or satisfaction of the others.

I believe it was at that moment that I realized how truly small we all were in comparison to the Darkness. Because while I could feel the emotions of the few hundred Dark Knights there were at the time, I could also feel the Darkness’ emotions as he guided and directed, providing comfort to the wounded and communicating with those in need of moral guidance. We were so tiny but he loved us as equals. I told him everything that had happened to me, of my mother and of the people I had met on my journey for meaning, and he simply responded that he would provide help and answers to my questions.

And after that, I beheld a universe of wonders and magnificence that I could be detached from, that I could observe without damaging it. I was a Dark Knight and nothing could change that. And for over two centuries, I lived and trained, making my way up the ranks of the Dark Knights before I became one of the Darkness’ most trusted Generals. I have been everywhere in the Five Lands, slaughtered thousands, and have never regretted any decision that got me my place. It was all for the Darkness, of course.

Until he was killed, that is.

The Darkness had invited his most hated opponent to his presence and tried to convince him to join his side. And the Linkara responded by stabbing my God through his heart and dooming everything I believed in.

I felt it the instant the Darkness was killed, the pierce of the Linkara as he collided into his vast form... It happened right after Thesia and I had resurrected Gritsnak. The only satisfaction I could derive from the experience was that we killed one of our pursuers, a Kien warrior named Caris. But her companions had come with her and made all of our plans for nothing.

Thesia had declared her intent had been all along to use Gritsnak to her own ends and I took it upon myself to deal with her... But then the Darkness cried out in pain and we all heard it. Every Dark Knight still attached to the link heard the one thing that had ever truly loved us shriek in horror as it was destroyed, taken from the world by a false idol who would bring his deceitful evil into our world and preach his horrible word. The Linkarans clustered around him, worshipping every drop of blood he spilled and every drop of sweat he excreted.

And now that very same being is on his way again to fight me. Twice before I have humiliated him and yet he still comes. But I will not waver in my faith. The Darkness shall return and the evil that the Linkara does shall be no more. The Darkness shall thrive and breathe in this place, taking all the tired, the downtrodden, and the ones who believed here is no one else left that cares for them and he shall show them the dark.

Let the armies of Earth come; I fear no power.
Let the swords of the enemy be drawn; I fear no weapon.
And let the Linkara come; I fear no evil.
In the Darkness’ name.

RiffingShow

...And may I fall into oblivion if I should fail.

That's a bit of an overly dramatic, defeatist attitue, but sure.
Also WTF is going on? Who said this? This shit isn't italicized or in quotes or anything.

Nothing else matters anymore, only resurrecting the Great Darkness. When I think of his glory, his absolute magnificence, it makes me want to smile and be joyous.

Uh, I... think this entire chapter appears to be written in first-person from Varek's perspective.
Not entirely sure what is up with this sudden format switch, but if Linkara (the author) wanted to confuse the fuck out of me, he certainly succeeded.

But I restrain myself, knowing that those are the things that no servant of the Darkness should ever allow himself to experience.

You know you have a quality religion when your devout followers mentally chastise themselves for being too euphorica over just how cool your religion is.

And yes, it’s himself. I never understood why the Darkness would ever allow women to be a part of his plans. They are vile beings, to the last one. Everything about them implies weakness. They are no better than breeding horses, to be used only to produce more warriors for the Darkness.

Friendly reminder that Varek is supposed to be sexist. Never really amounted to anything, though.

Blood Raven betrayed the Darkness’ ideals first. I don’t understand why the Darkness didn’t see that her weakness was because of her femininity.

She got kicked out because she was laughing too hard as she was painting an entire village in the blood and guts of its innocent inhabitants. Surely a sign of twisted, wicked femininity.

Of course, I was but a simple soldier in those days. I dared not question the Darkness nor his ways.

Did you ever start questioning him? You're like his biggest dick rider.

He believed in equality for all under his rule, regardless of gender or species.

How progressive of him.
Not sure how much this matters, though. We never ran into a Dork Knight who wasn't human, and I think there are like only three female Dork Knights in the entire series (Myrrha, Raven, that one chick Raven befriended who never mattered).

Also how can you call yourself the most true-and-honest follower of the Dorkness' teachings when you don't actually agree with him?

I said once that in shadow, there is no gender or distinction amongst us. But Blood Raven was the first sign. She showed what happens when you let emotional creatures like women enter into perfection – they betray it.

He should call himself "Varek the Strawman", 'cause I can smell the hay from here.

And it just dawned on me that this entire chapter is probably gonna be some disjointend auto-biographical flashback thingie.
Aka the plot has once again come to a screeching halt.

At least the Darkness was wise enough to expel her after that incident. Myrrha’s shameful actions should have earned her a similar fate, but instead she got promoted.

Do you think Varek's an incel because he's jealous of Myrrha's career? Or is he a giant faggot because he's so disgusted at the mere idea of hardcore lesbian struggle snuggle?

“The Darkness has requested that I come before him, as well as three other Potents and a General exploring the border of Jilad and Kien.” She said to me.

“Perhaps he has grown tired of your incessant boastings.” I replied to her.

I wonder what his cope is for the four male Dork Knights that were chosen instead of him.
Then again the rest of the Horsema'ams never really mattered.

Myrrha rolled her eyes as she looked out into the night.

Her Assault Squadron had been in retreat ever since the King of Ai had sprung his trap with the aide of the Linkara, forcing the remaining Dark Knights in the land to retreat back to Ünaré.

The "trap", in case you have forgotten, was "I was only pretending to work with you!"
He still gave them effectively free reign to pillage his kingdom to their hearts' content, so I'd say it's still mostly the Dorkness' fault that this failed.

At the time, I was on the retreat, as well. After several failed attempts to resurrect the demon Gritsnak, I was to meet with a mercenary who claimed to have access to spells that would guarantee the return of the fallen demon, who had been slain over a century ago when magicks had first been discovered by the Linkaran religion.

Thanks for recapping all the superfluous bullshit.
Also technically it's more like two centuries, since magic was discovered/invented 100 years after the Dorkness' arrival, which in turn was 300 years ago.
Either way that's still a bit of a short time frame, now that I think about it. I mean, Indow's fucking dad was already alive when people found out how to cast spells.

And how come the Linkarans discovered that shit when there's this unnamed religion that it all about worshipping the gods of magic? Or is that religion like younger than the Linkaran faith?

I despised Myrrha as much as I despise her now, but for different reasons. Back then, other than being a woman, I had only one other reason for hating her.

Her knitting skills.

But now, after the Darkness gave her back her emotions as a way of ensuring that the other Dark Knights need not feel jealous of the elite Horsemen of the Armageddon...

This plot point will never not be retarded to me.
Imagine some WW2 pulp story were the Nazis manage to create the Ubermensch, but decide to make them black so the other Aryans wouldn't get too jealous.

... she has become a power-mad dictator, who embraces her restored happiness and laughter so that she might drink and whore herself out to make up for lost time while also trying to dominate anyone and everything she can get her hands on.

You're just jealous because she never wanted to fuck you.

“Are you jealous, Destroyer, of my newfound fame among the Dark Knights and the favor that has been granted to me by the Darkness?” she inquired.

I find "inquired" almost as annoying as "queried", btw.

“I do not become jealous, Potent. I am appalled by how you’ve gained notoriety for something so idiotic."

Can't be that idiotic if the Dorkness loved it so much he gave her a prrrromotion.

And you shall address me by my proper title. You do not even deserve the title of Potent, and yet there is rumor speculating amongst many circles that your status will be rising because of what you did.

For being emotionless you guys sure love gossipping.

Having sex with a Linkaran Priestess?! It’s ridiculous! Dark Knights raid churches all the time and rape the Priestesses... the Priests, sometimes, as well.”

The Rape Counter has increased (12 -> 13)

Varek: "We're the good guy. He just want to help people."
Also Varek: "Oh yeah, we rape bitches all the time in the name of our glorious religion of peace."

But not with rocks

“Ah, but there is a difference, General. What I did with her was by her own consent. A Linkaran Priestess submitted herself to be soiled by a Dark Knight by her own choice. That is what has made me more famous than others and that is why the Darkness will be promoting me.”

No? You pretty much just kidnapped and then raped her. I think your getting that event confused with that time you gave that antidote to her.

“To gain fame for such a thing... If we lose this war, Potent, it will be because of people like you, not because of the Linkara."

Actually, it was all because the Dorkness insisted on capturing Linkara alive because of its unwarranted belief that it could convince him to join its cause.

"In any case, you shall receive no promotion. The Darkness would never allow you a higher status for such a base thing.”

But she did get promoted.

And the Darkness removed the emotional blocks. She became psychotic and lustful, giving in to her pleasures and desires instead of just doing what the Darkness commanded.

Sounds to me like you're blaming Myrrha for the Dorkness' retarded promotion idea.

In that respect, I suppose, I’m satisfied that I was never chosen to become a Horseman of the Armageddon.

(I'm still pretty mad I didn't get chosen, though.)

Of course, at least Myrrha had some semblance of sanity within her during that first time I met her. The next woman I had to be partnered with had had her senses knocked out of her long ago.

She’d laugh a deep, throaty laugh and I’d cringe. It wasn’t even a natural laugh of ‘Ha.’ For some reason, she’d do it slowly and it sounded more like ‘Haw’ or ‘Ho.’

Nigga I was joking.

The Darkness had given me strict orders not to harm her until Gritsnak was resurrected, but how I so wished I could have silenced her by jamming my sword down her throat.

Seems the Dorkness had a lot of faith in you if it had to remind you not to kill your ally until she has had time to at least uphold her part of the deal

Instead, I just had to stand idly by while she smugly stood in her red armor, laughing insanely at our enemies when there was but a simple sign of defeat on their part. She couldn’t succeed in even killing one of them, and yet she always stood confidently!

I can see why the career of Thesia the "Conqueror" was so short-lived.

Thesia the Conqueror, I hated you from the very moment I met you.

“So, you are the famed General of destruction!” she had said to me, smiling.

Will we ever find out how he got his fancy title?

Smiling... She was always smiling...

“My name is Varek, woman. My nickname is Destroyer, but you shall address me as ‘General’ or ‘Sir.’”

“Sorry, can’t do that, Varek. I’m afraid I’ve no desire to be under your command. I am here merely to assist you and your Darkness where you’ve failed."

I have a hunch that Linkara (the author) didn't know how medieval etiquette worked.

"But perhaps you and I could get a little more acquainted with one another later?” she had said, wrapping her arms over my shoulders and looking into my eyes with lust."

I don't think he floats that way.

Filthy cow. Just for that, I should have cut her stomach open with my blade. Women are whores and all they crave is sex. Every woman I’ve seen or heard about has been like that.

The world according to Varek:

It was always like it from the start, from the very first woman I ever had the misfortune of meeting.

“Varel, darling, go into the other room, mother has to help some of her ‘friends’ out.”

Oh fuck me. Now we get to behold his childhood.

I was never really a child; I know that now, and I’m glad I never was. Children are taught to believe things contrary to what the nature of things are. They’re taught light and told to embrace it instead of giving in to darkness, the natural state of things until light perverts it by revealing the ugliness behind it all. It’s why my mother never whored herself out at night and always kept the candles on in her room when she brought home ‘friends.’

I stood in the other room listening to her take multiple men into her room a night. They’d use her and discard her after an hour. Whenever I ventured into her room afterwards, she was a drunken wreck, her body covered in whiskey and other liquids.

Sounds like an interesting bukkake session

She was so inebriated she couldn’t even open her eyes. Sometimes I’d prop her up so she wouldn’t choke on her own vomit.

Ever noticed how these tragic backstory are all a tad bit over-the-top?

After a few years I finally asked myself the all-important question – why bother? Let her destroy herself.

Or better yet, cleanse myself of her and eliminate her sickness from my life.

A picture of Young Varek:

I did it after one of her sessions. The men left and I went into her room like I normally would. She was a little more conscious this time, much to my surprise, but she was in no state to fight me off. I took one of the kitchen knives, one of the ones I had used to make my own meals since I was five years old and plunged it through her heart.

I’ll never forget the look in her eyes after I had done the deed. She simply stared back at me, as if she couldn’t contemplate what I had done and why. Could she not even comprehend what she had become and what she had done to me?

I left afterwards, venturing out on my own to create meaning in my life. I stole what I needed to survive and killed whoever would threaten my independence. I was lost on more than one occasion, starving for several days as I tried to find the next sign of civilization.

Fucking hell, even the natives get lost on Sin. Just stick to the roads, FFS.

By the time I was fourteen, I had made my way into Jilad. I had never read a newspaper... by the Pit, I didn’t even know how to read at the time.

Reading would probably just trigger you.

I had heard whispers and talk, of course, about some dark force that had taken control of the city of Soyah and massacred its inhabitants, slowly spreading its forces across the land, but I had never paid any mind to it. After all, I had no idea where Jilad or Soyah were.

You'd think you would notice either way if you were approaching an active war zone.

Perhaps it was destiny that guided me, but I never encountered a single Dark Knight on my journeying.

I'd say it's plot convenience, because they'd definitely kill you on sight for fun (benevolent saviors that they are).

I went south and eventually I came upon Soyah. The place had only been destroyed a few years back, but the stink of its inhabitants still hung in the air.

And it only got worse in the following centuries.
Well, at least the booze was still alright.

The Darkness had not yet taken human form, so when I went into the city, he was in his immense, gelatinous form.

Sounds like the beginning of a wonderful doujin.

“Who is so brazen as to enter my presence unannounced?”

Really? Is that the best you got?

“I... What are you?!” I asked.

"The future contents of your bowels, you little shit. Now get on your knees and spread those buttcheeks!"

I could hardly believe my eyes as this great blob of black... stuff spoke to me. I had never set eyes upon an Orc, much less a creature such as this.

How long did you take to spot this giant kaiju blob?

“I am Darkness, child. What is your name and what are you doing here?”

“I... I was just traveling and- and...”

"I see. Then you must not be aware that today is Soyah's traditional Penis Inspection Day."

I could barely get out my words. I half-expected the Darkness simply to swoop down with a mighty tentacle and crush my frail young form right there, but it didn’t.

"He just put a mighty tentacle up my butt."

He had obviously grown impatient with my fear and decided a more direct route of communication was needed.

"If you catch my drift."

Reflecting upon it now, I don’t even think the Darkness was angry that I had come. He was altogether curious by it, I think.

Curious to see how much he can increase your anal circumference.

The Darkness gently moved a tentacle above me, a liquid portion of its body dropping before the appendage was reabsorbed by he whole of the mass. The black drop splashed on top of me and in that instant I was changed.

You're never the same after your first bukkake.

I had been pulled into the telepathic link shared between all of the Dark Knights.

Holy shit we can finally behold the fabled telepathic link that has always been told about, but never shown

We could not read one another’s thoughts, of course, but we could speak to one another over it or express our own emotions unto the others.

So it's literally just Skype

It was a very satisfying experience, to suddenly be without happiness, in the calm serenity where I no longer had to worry or be consumed by my feelings, but merely experience the anger, sadness, or satisfaction of the others.

"Truly, it was all the happiness in my life that was the cause of all of my problems."

I believe it was at that moment that I realized how truly small we all were in comparison to the Darkness. Because while I could feel the emotions of the few hundred Dark Knights there were at the time, I could also feel the Darkness’ emotions as he guided and directed, providing comfort to the wounded and communicating with those in need of moral guidance.

So he's a giant, amorphous tard wrangler.

We were so tiny but he loved us as equals.

Great. Now we're ripping off Papa Nurgle.

I told him everything that had happened to me, of my mother and of the people I had met on my journey for meaning, and he simply responded that he would provide help and answers to my questions.

"In hindsight, he probably didn't give a shit."

And after that, I beheld a universe of wonders and magnificence that I could be detached from, that I could observe without damaging it.

Fuck me, this is too long and obtuse to make a live-action Street Fighter joke about.

I was a Dark Knight and nothing could change that. And for over two centuries, I lived and trained, making my way up the ranks of the Dark Knights before I became one of the Darkness’ most trusted Generals. I have been everywhere in the Five Lands, slaughtered thousands, and have never regretted any decision that got me my place. It was all for the Darkness, of course.

"I'm still totally one of the good guys, though."

Until he was killed, that is.

The Darkness had invited his most hated opponent to his presence and tried to convince him to join his side.

"In hindsight, this may have been one of his less brilliant plans."

And the Linkara responded by stabbing my God through his heart and dooming everything I believed in.

You have to make everything about yourself, don't you

?

I felt it the instant the Darkness was killed, the pierce of the Linkara as he collided into his vast form...

This sounds a lot hotter than it actually was.

It happened right after Thesia and I had resurrected Gritsnak. The only satisfaction I could derive from the experience was that we killed one of our pursuers, a Kien warrior named Caris. But her companions had come with her and made all of our plans for nothing.

And then they kicked the shit out of you.

Thesia had declared her intent had been all along to use Gritsnak to her own ends and I took it upon myself to deal with her... But then the Darkness cried out in pain and we all heard it.

What did she actually needed the Dorkness for in this plan?

Every Dark Knight still attached to the link heard the one thing that had ever truly loved us shriek in horror as it was destroyed, taken from the world by a false idol who would bring his deceitful evil into our world and preach his horrible word. The Linkarans clustered around him, worshipping every drop of blood he spilled and every drop of sweat he excreted.

And now that very same being is on his way again to fight me. Twice before I have humiliated him and yet he still comes.

Maybe try to actually kill him next time? Would be hard to come back for more after that.

But I will not waver in my faith. The Darkness shall return and the evil that the Linkara does shall be no more. The Darkness shall thrive and breathe in this place, taking all the tired, the downtrodden, and the ones who believed here is no one else left that cares for them and he shall show them the dark.

"And then we shall murder and rape thousands for the Greater Good!"

Let the armies of Earth come; I fear no power.
Let the swords of the enemy be drawn; I fear no weapon.
And let the Linkara come; I fear no evil.
In the Darkness’ name.

Next Time: We're finally at the final showdown. JFC.

Post by **VoiceOfReasonPast** » Mon Jul 07, 2025 8:33 pm

Book 4, Chapter 16 - The Way of the World III
(Or: The Paper is Mightier than the Sword)

Okay, okay. Now is finally the time for the thrilling showdown to end all showdowns.
Right?

"Remember when Indow got raped?" Count: 13
"Baddies Never Smile" Count: 21
And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

So in yet another detour from what can charitably be described as this book's plot, we are blessed with Varek telling a disjointed account of random events form his life to... himself? The Dorkbringer? Thesia? Fuck if I know. It's just in first person for no reason, okay?!

Worst of all we don't really learn anything new, aside from him being a literal son of a bitch who killed his mom and then wandered around aimlessly until he rolled up an encounter with the Dorkness.
Weirdest of all is probably his incel-tier hatred for women. It was more of a minor quirk in previous books (and completely absent from this one until now), but here just about every other paragraph is a variation "Fuck women".
Also his core belief makes even less sense now than it did before. So he's like eternally grateful for the Dorkness that he can no longer smile and be happy - but his backstory, in true Lovhaugian fashion, was grimdark and full of misery. Being turned into a Dark Knight didn't even appear to have had much of an effect on him.
I mean, his strongest emotion is his misogyny, and that never really went away. In fact he has to summon all of his inner strength to not shank any hoe that is even slightly annoying to him.

And remember the bit in the introduction? About how Linkara (the author) is gonna be more ambivalent with his villains and shit?

Bullshit wrote:While I enjoy villains who are unrepentantly evil, some of the best evils are the ones who actually have kind of a point behind them, hence where we can see a better idea of why exactly Dark Knights aren't supposed to smile.

LMAO. Nigga, I don't have a better idea on this shit, and the only remaining proponent of the "No smiles" philosophy is a mass-murdering, psychopathic incel. That's not a great start for a "But what if he's got a point?" angle.

ChapterShow

“Tell me, Destroyer, what makes you think any of this is going to work?”

Thesia grinned as she looked over at Varek, tilting her head ever slightly to the left. It was the only movement she was capable of making thanks to the bindings on her, keeping her firmly attached to the spire of the Landmark Center. Varek ignored her as he looked to the Black Oracle, reading the next part of the ritual to bring the Darkness to life. The first part had been completed – blot out the sun in order to prevent sunlight from eliminating the newly formed mass.

“You can’t possibly believe this is going to work, can you? Even if the Linkara and his companions don’t slice your throat, the military of this place will surely not allow the Darkness to form here and have its way. Have you seen the weapons these people have produced? They can level an entire city with the drop of one explosive and leave it uninhabitable for years. I hope your new Darkness enjoys it precious few minutes of life before it is eradicated.”

“I would think that dying once would have already softened your tongue, woman, yet you still seem devoted to smacking your lips together until my ears falls off.” Varek finally replied, not taking his eyes away from the Black Oracle.

Thesia arched her neck back slightly and laughed wildly into the air. Varek narrowed his eyes and slowly turned them towards his captive, reaching slowly for the knife hidden in his gauntlet. Thesia stopped laughing and kept her eyes focused on Varek, seeing what he was starting to grab hold of.

“So, Destroyer, still not cracking a smile, are we?” she queried.

Varek winced and held the knife in his hand, gripping it tightly. “It... It is getting rapidly difficult to keep myself from controlling the emotions of happiness and joy... For example, I gain immense pleasure from the image of carving your innards from your stomach.”

Thesia smirked. “And your hair is now blue. Missing your God that much?”

Varek turned to Thesia and held the knife to her throat, pressing the edge gently into her skin. “The Darkness shall purge these horrid imperfections from my being and restore me to my natural state. It’s a pity you can’t watch his resurrection, but your blood will be necessary for the-”

“VAREK THE DESTROYER!”

Varek shifted himself away from Thesia and walked to the edge of the roof to see who had called out his name. In the streets below, the FBI cars had all stopped and taken positions around the Landmark Center. Dozens of agents were aiming assault rifles up at the roof, taking cover behind their vehicles as they all tried to approximate the best shot necessary to hit Varek from their places. Alice stood in front of the other FBI agents with a megaphone in her hand, aiming it up at the roof so she could speak to Varek.

“YOU WILL SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY OR WE WILL HAVE TO REMOVE YOU BY FORCE!” she called out through the megaphone.

Varek merely glowered back at her, making no move to do anything else. Louis got out of the car and ran over to Alice, asking her for the megaphone. He carried the duffel bag on his back, not wanting to be separated from its contents. Alice gave the megaphone to him and he looked up at the Dark Knight.

“VAREK, IT’S ME! YOUR MORTAL ENEMY IS HERE! WHAT’S THE MATTER, ARE YOU FINALLY AFRAID OF ME?!”

Varek’s eyes widened and he let out a low growl, aiming his hand at Louis. Louis gave the megaphone back to Alice just as his body was suddenly surrounded by a black bubble. Encased in the bubble, Louis floated up to the roof as the Agents cocked their weapons, readying themselves to shoot. Alice held up her arm and called out for them to hold their fire. Louis’ friends and companions ran up to Alice, watching as Louis was brought to Varek.

“He took the bait?” Mandy asked.

Alice nodded. “How soon can the spell be ready, Indow?”

“I can begin casting as soon as we need to, but if we do it too early, it will be wasted. If Varek sees what we’re doing before we can distract him, it will be for nothing.” She answered.

Alice smiled and crossed her arms, handing the megaphone off to one of the few FBI personnel not aiming weapons at the Landmark Center’s rooftop. “All right, then. White Raven, get in your position. You sure you can hit it from that distance?”

White Raven raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, scowling back at Alice. Alice winced and bit her lower lip.

“Never mind, just get in place.” She said.

*

Louis landed softly on the rooftop and smiled at Varek, whose spell faded as soon as Louis had arrived. Varek turned away from Louis and back to the Black Oracle, flipping its page as he readied the next section of the spell. Louis put down the duffel bag and sat down, continuing to grin at his opponent as he unzipped the bag itself.

“So, no threats? No exclamations about how I’m weak and the Darkness is great and all that?” he asked.

“There is no need for it. The Darkness will tell you himself before he squeezes the life from you and spills your blood on the streets of this perverse world.” Varek answered softly.

“Oh, is that so? How do you know I won’t stop you?” Louis questioned.

Varek turned around, pointing his knife at Louis and scowling. “You?! The very example of everything wrong on this planet?! Hardly. I broke you before with the Darkness’ power and now he can do the same. I see even your vaunted armor has abandoned you, since you wear nothing but the garb of an ordinary urchin.”

Louis glared back at Varek, his smile gone. “And here we go again, you ranting to me about the wickedness of Earth and its people and how happiness and joy are self-defeating and destructive to us.”

“The Darkness removed happiness so we need not contrast it with tragedy. Without them, we had the noblest feelings of pride and patriotism to the flag of Darkness. We were not taken in by childish promises of ‘seeing the light’ or that there is a happily ever after like in fairy tales. There is good and there is evil, and whoever wields the greatest might and power will be the one that wins through in the end. It’s the way of the world, Linkara.”

Louis shook his head and smiled. “You know what I really hate, Varek? When someone tells me that they didn’t like that a story had a happy ending. They tell me it’s ‘unrealistic.’ Why is that, Varek? Why is it that an unhappy ending is, with things turning out badly for people, ‘more realistic’?”

“It is, isn’t it?”

Louis shook his head. “Varek, there are six billion people on Earth. Are you telling me that more often than not, lives end in unhappiness and tragedy? I can’t believe that. You see, I believe in those childish things that the Darkness abandoned. I believe in happily ever after. I believe in the power of love and hope and dreams even if everyone else has ‘outgrown’ them or discarded them as childish novelties. There’s nothing funny or corny about clichéd concepts like believing in hope or thinking that in the worst of situations we’ll get through somehow. People die, of course; that’s an unavoidable consequence of existence, but death after a lifetime of happiness or average happiness is not a death made in horror, pain, or tragedy. I’m an optimist, Varek, which is why even after everything that’s happened – after you’ve beaten me twice, even cut off my arm and made me unable to wield my own armor, I still have faith in my ability to beat you. Maybe it’s insanity, maybe even it’s childish foolishness, but may God have mercy on my soul if I let you have the world you want, where Darkness encompasses our vision and hate is a superior emotion to happiness. And even if I’m wrong and you kill me today, my world will beat you, because the way of the world is not tragedy, but triumph.”

Varek’s lips almost began to curve into a smile, but he managed to restrain himself. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

“And what are you going to use to beat me, exactly? You have no armor to fight me with, no sword to wield or axe to cleave. You’re just a boy.”

Louis grinned and narrowed his eyes. “No, I’m a boy with a friend who just took your magic book...”

Varek’s eyes widened and he snapped around, gasping in shock as he saw the Black Oracle gone. He heard a whistling sound to signal him and he immediately turned to his right towards a building across the street from the Landmark Center. White Raven stood on its rooftop, holding the Black Oracle in her hands with an arrow shot into it attached to a rope. She smiled and waved the book at Varek. Varek, in his anger, looked back to his enemy, who stood up confidently with a double-barreled shotgun aimed right at his chest.

“...And I’m a boy with a gun.”

Louis fired, the impact from the shot against his armor sending Varek onto his back. Louis tossed the gun aside, unable to reload it and reached into the duffel bag, taking out a handgun before he ran over to Thesia.

“Did you kill him?” she asked as Louis tried to both hold his weapon and free Thesia at the same time.

Louis replied, “Rubber bullets, non-lethal at a distance but strong enough to pierce skin if-”

Varek roared as he got back on his feet, swiping his sword at Louis’ head. Louis ducked as the blade hit the ropes, cutting them as his weapon hit the spire. Thesia quickly leapt away from her position and launched a fireball at Varek, who merely winced and growled as it hit him. The Dark Knight freed his sword and swung again at Louis, who dodged out of the way. However, Varek kicked his foot hard against Louis’ gut as he began to get up again. The hit sent Louis rolling away and down off the edge of the Center. Louis yelped in pain as he fell down off of the building, rolling on some of the overhangs before he hit the pavement hard on his back.

Much of the group screamed in horror as they saw Louis hit the ground, but sighed in relief as they saw him trying to get up.

Alice turned to Indow, exclaiming to her, “Start the spell!”

She then yelled out to her forces, “OPEN FIRE!”

The FBI Agents all began to shoot at the Landmark Center’s roof, hoping one of the bullets would hit Varek.

Varek himself turned to Thesia as she formed her sword from her hand, but she moved too slowly. Varek reached down and grabbed Thesia by her neck, breaking her concentration and disrupting her ability to summon her own weapon. As bullets flew through the air around them, Varek held Thesia up by her neck, his fist glowing with blackened energy. Thesia kicked at him as she felt him squeeze, desperately trying to get out of his grasp.

“Die, witch, and behold sweet oblivion.” Varek growled.

The glow from Varek’s fist encompassed Thesia’s body as she screamed in pain, feeling as if her entire body was burning. White Raven’s eyes widened from across the street as she saw what Varek was doing and quickly brought her bow and arrow to bear. However, despite her trained speed and skillful precision, she was too late. Thesia’s body vaporized along with her armor two seconds after White Raven’s arrow bounced off of Varek’s armor. White Raven stood in stark horror as she saw how coldly and easily Varek had eliminated Thesia, but it quickly turned to anger as she held the Black Oracle in her hands.

As White Raven ran down the stairs of the building to get back to the streets, Varek cast a Chaos Shield around his body and floated towards where Indow had begun casting the Lokmanwo spell. She had her arms extended out from her as they began to glow a bright white, her eyes closed and her head bowed down.

“Lana kobo so kabalaboshan.” She spoke, the untranslatable words igniting the magicks she wielded.

With a more visible target, the FBI agents began to fire more precisely, bullets hammering against the Chaos Shield. However, the weapons had little effect on the barrier as he floated down closer to see what Indow was doing. He aimed his hand at Indow, a black orb of energy launching out of it and slamming directly into Indow’s stomach. The Priestess was pushed back hard against the car she had come in, yelling out in pain as her fragile form collided with metal, knocking her out. The civilians of the group were taking cover as Varek descended towards the nearest group of FBI agents, who were starting to realize that their guns weren’t going to have an effect on him.

Jordahn and Lithmenar readied their own weapons as they ran at Varek, determined to use more melee-based assaults to end him. White Raven came running out of the building with the Black Oracle in hand. Alice went to her, wincing in fear as she saw Varek fighting against two FBI agents who were trying to use their rifles as clubs.

“Is there anything in that book that can help us out here?!” she wanted to know.

White Raven panted, a little out of breath as she tried to come to terms with what she had seen within a matter of minutes.

“I... I’ve never read it before! There were only rumors about the kinds of magicks contained! Wielding dark magicks, simplistic spells that non- magic users could wield, imbuement blessings-”

White Raven’s eyes lit up and she smiled, turning to Alice and grabbing her arms. “Imbuement blessings, of course! Get Ted, Trevor, and Mandy! I have an idea!”

*

Lithmenar tossed a throwing knife at Varek, who merely brought his sword into the path of the blade, deflecting it away. Lithmenar winced and backed up as Varek came running at him, out of throwing knives. Varek swung his sword at Lithmenar, who ducked down to evade the first swipe. He chopped down at Lithmenar, who dodged and rolled to the left. Varek kicked Lithmenar’s leg, slowing him down. Varek tried to bring his weapon down on Lithmenar to kill him, but Jordahn punched Varek across the face, knocking him back and throwing off his balance. She followed up by kicking Varek in the chest and swinging her axe at his right side, but Varek regained enough of his composure to block the assault. One of Varek’s hands began to glow in an ebony hue. He kept one hand on his sword to force back the axe while the glowing palm of his other hand hit Jordahn in the stomach, sending her flying back and through the window of a storefront.

Varek then kicked Lithmenar in the stomach and sent him rolling away, groaning in pain. He considered killing the thief for a moment, but then saw a single figure through all of the various bodies lying in the street. It was Louis, who was still trying to pull himself up after having fallen off the roof. He quickly charged over to Louis as the teenager looked up at Varek, his breathing strained and hoarse.

Varek brought his sword up, holding onto the hilt as he pointed the blade down at Louis’ chest. “Just a boy.”

He pushed the sword down and Louis’ eyes widened as the blade came down at him. All of a sudden, however, a sheet of paper slipped in between Varek’s blade and Louis’ chest and, much to Varek’s surprise, stopped the blade entirely. He pushed down against the paper, but it didn’t pierce through it. He blinked and brought his sword back up, the paper suddenly floating away in the wind.

“What in the pit...?” he whispered as he took a step backwards, watching as the piece of paper suddenly flew back.

The paper drifted right in front of Trevor, who took hold of it with a smile. Varek turned his body completely towards Trevor as he stood alongside Alice, Ted, and Mandy.

“Leave him alone, asshole.” Trevor said, toying with the piece of paper.

“Or what?” Varek asked with a sneer.

The four looked at one another and smirked, turning their gaze back to Varek. Pieces of paper began to fly out of windows and garbage cans and gathered in front of Trevor, forming into a solid mass. Mandy ran straight at Varek holding her knitting yarn, tossing it at him. Varek merely took a step behind him as the threads began to unravel from the main spool, each strand wrapping around something in the area. The main ball sent out three threads that hit Varek’s body, one thinning itself so it was as sharp as a blade and cut Varek’s face while the other two scraped against his armor. As the yarn began to retract back to Mandy, the ball of paper came flying through the air and collided with Varek, sending him against a light post and denting it in half.

Varek winced as he started to get up, seeing that Ted was standing in front of him and holding a piece of gum out to him.

“Gum?” the boy asked.

Varek leapt up to try to attack him, but suddenly hit himself against a black wall that had formed in his path. The shield faded away, leaving Ted as he tilted his head slightly, popping the gum into his mouth. He then snapped his fingers, a black wave of energy hitting Varek from his left and sending him sprawling away. Mandy and Trevor ran to Ted’s side as Varek came rising, cracking his neck. Trevor sent another sheet of paper out at Varek, but he brought his hand up, a Chaos Shield blocking the paper’s path.

White Raven winced as she and Alice stood behind the commotion near the cars, continuing to look into the Black Oracle for anything else they could do.

“Why aren’t you trying to fight, too?” White Raven asked.

“The power that I got from the imbuement blessing isn’t useful here. I panicked and thought of being able to physically travel through electronics and data as my ability as well as manipulating code. What about you, shouldn’t you be getting your bow and arrow or something?” Alice queried.

“Can you read the written languages of Sin?” White Raven asked in response.

“No...” the Code Poet answered.

“Then leave me to this and go help the ones of us who aren’t standing!” White Raven ordered.

*

Louis rolled onto his stomach as he crawled through the street towards the sidewalk, his one arm barely able to move him at all. He could feel his consciousness already slipping from him as he sensed that death was just tugging at him. He beheld vague images of his friends fighting Varek and not doing so well. Varek had adjusted his tactics to focus more on magicks than melee attacks. Louis got onto the sidewalk over to a large, broken chunk of pavement and looked up, trying to pull himself onto his feet. His eyes widened as his muddled vision saw a gold and silver object before him that was in crystal clarity in comparison to the blurred darkness around it. It was his gauntlet, but it was obviously changed. The side panels and the underside were silver instead of the full gold as before and it looked as if much of the metallic paneling of the armor itself had been changed in design, in addition to a blue jewel that was equipped to the end of the gauntlet where the elbow would be located.

He reached for the gauntlet and smiled as he saw a post-it note attached to the top of it. It read, ‘Try not to break this one. Sincerely, Thomas.’ Louis set it down on the ground and slid his hand inside of it, gasping as he felt as if he hadn’t had the gauntlet on in years. He stood up as his vision became clear again, the pain that had he had felt from falling off the building disappearing in an instant. He clenched his fist and took in deep breathes as he looked to Varek, who was fighting against Trevor and Mandy, who had formed their respective paper and string into solid swords and trying to fight Varek on his level. Varek easily thrust them away with a simple swipe of his blade, knocking them out of his path. Ted lay on the ground unconscious nearby.

“VAREK!” Louis called out.

Varek looked over to Louis and grit his teeth, seeing that Louis was not only standing, but had his gauntlet on again. Louis sent the mental signal for his gauntlet to cover his body, but it felt different than the previous times, as if the armor was renewing him somehow. He shuddered as he felt the nerve connections starting to form again in his left shoulder and he looked down to see flesh growing out from the spot where his arm had been cut off, pale skin coating the newly- formed muscle and bone. After the hand itself had finished forming, the armor followed suit and created the mirror copy of his right gauntlet over it. There were pockets of silver incorporated into the new armor, particularly at his abs and along the underside of his circlet and along his legs.

Louis held his rebuilt left arm up and extended the blade out, his wings flowing out from his back as he looked from his blade to Varek.

“Groovy.” Louis said proudly.

Varek aimed a glowing hand at Louis, a ball of dark energy rocketing through the air at the Linkara. Louis’ blade extended from his right arm and he slashed up at the ball as it came in range, dissipating it with ease. Louis ascended into the air as Varek came running at him, his feet soon leaving the ground to follow Louis. With both blades extended, Louis flew right at Varek, ready for the final confrontation. Both said nothing as they dodged and assaulted, their blades crashing against each other. They had no more need to speak their philosophies and beliefs – each knew what the other believed and thought what the other believed in was wrong.

On the streets, Code Poet was calling for backup and medical personnel while White Raven helped Indow to her feet. They looked up into the sky as they beheld Varek and Louis’ forms circling each other, occasionally meeting only to break apart again. Each attack made against the other was countered or defeated in some manner, every blow matched and deflected. Louis, deciding to shake things up, led Varek away from St. Paul itself, flying around in other areas to try to throw him off-balance and gain an advantage. They flew to Valleyfair, navigating the twists and turns of the roller coaster tracks as one tried to beat the other. They followed the course of the wind and traveled to highways and streets, pummeling each other high above onlookers who gasped and pointed up at the two. They traveled over Como Zoo, amazing spectators who could see an epic confrontation before them but had no context by which to understand what exactly it was that was occurring. Minutes that seemed to stretch for hours passed as the mortal enemies engaged each other, never relenting from their attack posture. Eventually, they returned back to the Landmark Center and the original battleground, neither one tired or worn out from their already-lengthy battle.

A fireball shot up through the space between Varek and Louis, its origin Indow. The two looked down and saw that many of the FBI agents were already back on their feet along with Louis’ magic-enhanced friends. Jordahn and Lithmenar were coming to as Louis turned to Varek and crossed his arms.

“It seems you’re outnumbered, Destroyer.” He stated.

Varek snarled at him. “I shall not leave until I hold your bloody, festering corpse in my hands, you retched-”

Louis took advantage of Varek’s momentary lack of concentration and rammed his shoulder into Varek’s chest.

The angle of the impact sent Varek down into a nearby building, crashing through a skylight. Varek grumbled as he picked himself up, the ground beneath him littered with bits of broken glass. Louis descended through the broken skylight and dropped down in front of Varek, who held his right arm as he felt as if he had broken it. Louis crossed his arms and smirked.

“Had enough?” Louis queried.

Varek roared and brought both of his arms up, ignoring the searing, biting pain that ached at him. His hands resumed their ebony glow and he shot solid beams of dark energy at the ceiling and walls, moving his arms in a wild fashion, sending the energy everywhere around him. Louis gasped in shock as the ceiling and the walls began to collapse...

*

Indow cried out Louis’ name as she ran at the collapsed building, waving away the dust cloud surrounding it as she climbed on the debris and wreckage. Everyone else followed as she looked around, trying to find any sign of her love amidst the remains. She began pushing aside concrete and drywall remains, desperately seeking Louis or his body. About twenty feet away from Indow, a pile of debris exploded outwards, Louis standing in its place with fully-extended wings. He staggered for a moment and coughed for a few seconds. Indow ran at him and practically leapt into his arms, crying as she hugged him. Louis held onto her, smiling and taking in a few deep breathes [sic].

Nearby, the two could hear a coughing voice. They followed the sound to its source – Varek. The Destroyer was lying half-buried in rubble and with several gashes on his form, including a sharp spike of metal embedded inside his broken armor and a heavy cut on the left side of his head that leaked blood. Varek looked up as he took in deep breathes, seeing that Louis was perfectly all right.

“You... survived?” he asked rhetorically.

“My armor covered me at the last second to protect me from the collapse.” Louis answered.

Varek sighed and swallowed, a bit of blood was dripping from the tip of his lip. “It seems you have won... You are indeed a skilled fighter, boy...”

“Or you just have incredibly bad luck.” Louis responded.

Much to the surprise of the growing group around him, Varek smiled and laughed into the air, sighing as he looked up at Louis with tired eyes.

“So this is elation? It seems I need it to feel better about this... I think I’m dying...” Varek spoke.

“Save your strength, we’ll take you to a hospital.” Louis said.

Varek shook his head, still smiling. “No, no. I do not intend to make myself a prisoner of this place. I am dying and will soon be free from this horrid world.”

“So it’s over? The last of the Darkness gone?” Indow asked.

Varek laughed maniacally into the air. “Over?! Gone?! Stupid girl, it is only beginning! Even now, my disciple, the Darkbringer, heads to your Pharos City! He will bring the word of the Darkness with him and it shall spread! The glory of the dark shall enter the hearts of the people and you will all see yourselves for the evils that you are! The Darkness will live on and where I have failed he shall succeed!

“And before you go rushing to the rescue of your precious wicked world, I have even better news, oh Linkara! Do you recall Myrrha?! The vile witch has been very busy back on Sin... Before he became convinced that he could bring you to join us, the Darkness plotted and planned, looking for every single weapon he thought capable of destroying you... His storehouse and arsenal still exist, and Myrrha is going to take every weapon there and slaughter you and every other Linkaran to cleanse Sin! Behold, Linkara, Darkness shall triumph!”

Varek chuckled and laughed, letting loose a torrent of joyous emotion to compensate for the immense pain he felt in his body. For a few seconds, the group just stared at Varek as he laughed, but eventually the sound faded and Varek closed his eyes, dead.

The group exchanged glances, all slowly looking to Louis. Louis crossed his arms and glared down at his dead nemesis.

“Not today.”

Next Time: The Aftermath of this afterbirth of a book.

Post by **VoiceOfReasonPast** » Mon Jul 07, 2025 8:46 pm

tl;dr: It's basically a mind battle, but instead of remembering that he is Mind God Linkara just goes God Cloth on Varek's ass.

RiffingShow

“Tell me, Destroyer, what makes you think any of this is going to work?”

This is the most sensible question I've heard all series.

Thesia grinned as she looked over at Varek, tilting her head ever slightly to the left. It was the only movement she was capable of making thanks to the bindings on her, keeping her firmly attached to the spire of the Landmark Center.

Can you tilt your head in both directions, or has he bondaged you with your right cheek against the spire?

Varek ignored her as he looked to the Black Oracle, reading the next part of the ritual to bring the Darkness to life. The first part had been completed – blot out the sun in order to prevent sunlight from eliminating the newly formed mass.

Oh, so if this whole eclipse thing was to get rid of sunlight, how about casting this in a subway?

“You can’t possibly believe this is going to work, can you? Even if the Linkara and his companions don’t slice your throat, the military of this place will surely not allow the Darkness to form here and have its way. Have you seen the weapons these people have produced? They can level an entire city with the drop of one explosive and leave it uninhabitable for years. I hope your new Darkness enjoys it precious few minutes of life before it is eradicated.”

I know Varek is a fucking idiot, but it kinda undermines this book's main villain when other characters agree with this observation.

“I would think that dying once would have already softened your tongue, woman, yet you still seem devoted to smacking your lips together until my ears falls off.” Varek finally replied, not taking his eyes away from the Black Oracle.

Is there any particular reason why you need her alive? And can't you just gag her?

Thesia arched her neck back slightly and laughed wildly into the air. Varek narrowed his eyes and slowly turned them towards his captive, reaching slowly for the knife hidden in his gauntlet. Thesia stopped laughing and kept her eyes focused on Varek, seeing what he was starting to grab hold of.

Oh, so he could just kill her, but doesn't?

“So, Destroyer, still not cracking a smile, are we?” she queried.

Varek winced and held the knife in his hand, gripping it tightly. “It... It is getting rapidly difficult to keep myself from controlling the emotions of happiness and joy... For example, I gain immense pleasure from the image of carving your innards from your stomach.”

Also you had those violent fantasies long before you started getting un-dorkened.

Thesia smirked. “And your hair is now blue. Missing your God that much?”

Future Evil Time Lord Thesia, Mistress of School-Level Bullying.

Varek turned to Thesia and held the knife to her throat, pressing the edge gently into her skin. “The Darkness shall purge these horrid imperfections from my being and restore me to my natural state. It’s a pity you can’t watch his resurrection, but your blood will be necessary for the-”

“VAREK THE DESTROYER!”

Varek shifted himself away from Thesia and walked to the edge of the roof to see who had called out his name. In the streets below, the FBI cars had all stopped and taken positions around the Landmark Center. Dozens of agents were aiming assault rifles up at the roof, taking cover behind their vehicles as they all tried to approximate the best shot necessary to hit Varek from their places. Alice stood in front of the other FBI agents with a megaphone in her hand, aiming it up at the roof so she could speak to Varek.

It's nice of the FBI to address him by his proper title.
And shouldn't they have brought a couple snipers?

“YOU WILL SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY OR WE WILL HAVE TO REMOVE YOU BY FORCE!” she called out through the megaphone.

Just cap the fucker. He's not even from Earth.
How would he even parley with them? Shout really loudly?

Varek merely glowered back at her, making no move to do anything else. Louis got out of the car and ran over to Alice, asking her for the megaphone. He carried the duffel bag on his back, not wanting to be separated from its contents.

How much do you wanna bet that Chekov's Duffel Bag is not gonna amount to anything?

Alice gave the megaphone to him and he looked up at the Dark Knight.

“VAREK, IT’S ME! YOUR MORTAL ENEMY IS HERE! WHAT’S THE MATTER, ARE YOU FINALLY AFRAID OF ME?!”

Do you actually want him to surrender, or do you just want to piss him off?

Varek’s eyes widened and he let out a low growl, aiming his hand at Louis.

You're surprised? You knew he was coming, and you know he's a smug little shit.

Louis gave the megaphone back to Alice just as his body was suddenly surrounded by a black bubble. Encased in the bubble, Louis floated up to the roof as the Agents cocked their weapons, readying themselves to shoot. Alice held up her arm and called out for them to hold their fire. Louis’ friends and companions ran up to Alice, watching as Louis was brought to Varek.

That's one way to isolate our duelists from the filthy peasants.

“He took the bait?” Mandy asked.

Alice nodded. “How soon can the spell be ready, Indow?”

“I can begin casting as soon as we need to, but if we do it too early, it will be wasted. If Varek sees what we’re doing before we can distract him, it will be for nothing.” She answered.

So you won't start the Genkidama ritual right away because you don't want him to notice it too early - but what if he's already busy breaking every bone in Linkara's body.

And how about casting the ritual before you arrive at the scene? Who needs those FBI losers around if you can just have Linkara punch the shit out of him at about Mach 5?

Is this like another remnant of those mind battles? Create fake drama by having Linkara get curbstomped until he turns into God again?

Alice smiled and crossed her arms, handing the megaphone off to one of the few FBI personnel not aiming weapons at the Landmark Center’s rooftop. “All right, then. White Raven, get in your position. You sure you can hit it from that distance?”

White Raven raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, scowling back at Alice. Alice winced and bit her lower lip.

“Never mind, just get in place.” She said.

She better have a sniper rifle, 'cause her arrows are useless in this.

*

Louis landed softly on the rooftop and smiled at Varek, whose spell faded as soon as Louis had arrived.

How nice of Varek to provide him with a soft landing.

Varek turned away from Louis and back to the Black Oracle, flipping its page as he readied the next section of the spell.

"I'm just gonna TK my arch nemesis over here so I can then ignore him. That'll teach him!"

How fucking retarded are you?

Louis put down the duffel bag and sat down, continuing to grin at his opponent as he unzipped the bag itself.

Naturally, Linkara is not confused. I'm sure everything is going exactly according to keikaku

Though does he have a Plan B in case Varek's countering his 4D chess with 5D chess again?

“There is no need for it. The Darkness will tell you himself before he squeezes the life from you and spills your blood on the streets of this perverse world.” Varek answered softly.

Not if you've got a bullet through your head.

“Oh, is that so? How do you know I won’t stop you?” Louis questioned.

Varek turned around, pointing his knife at Louis and scowling. “You?! The very example of everything wrong on this planet?! Hardly. I broke you before with the Darkness’ power and now he can do the same. I see even your vaunted armor has abandoned you, since you wear nothing but the garb of an ordinary urchin.”

Is there something about the teachings of the Dorkness that compels people to think that the Great Linkara is mostly harmless? They just keep him alive until he kicks their shit in.

Louis glared back at Varek, his smile gone. “And here we go again, you ranting to me about the wickedness of Earth and its people and how happiness and joy are self-defeating and destructive to us.”

Most of this "fight" is gonna be an asinine "philosophy" debate, isn't it?

“The Darkness removed happiness so we need not contrast it with tragedy."

"Without them, we had the noblest feelings of pride and patriotism to the flag of Darkness."

Doesn't that count as being happy? And since when do you guys have a flag?

"We were not taken in by childish promises of ‘seeing the light’ or that there is a happily ever after like in fairy tales."

"Instead we are childish doomers and emos!"

There is good and there is evil, and whoever wields the greatest might and power will be the one that wins through in the end.

Not entirely sure what the first part has to do with the latter. Probably some tortured "Might makes right" variation.
Also seeing the world in black and white is not childish, and you can still consider yourself "good" after killing your mom, slaughtering thousands and having violent fantasies regarding women.

"It’s the way of the world, Linkara.”

Chapter title drop.

Louis shook his head and smiled. “You know what I really hate, Varek? When someone tells me that they didn’t like that a story had a happy ending. They tell me it’s ‘unrealistic.’ Why is that, Varek? Why is it that an unhappy ending is, with things turning out badly for people, ‘more realistic’?”

"Eww, I don't like this story! It has a happy ending! That's sooo unrealistic!"

You know what I really hate, Linkara? When someone makes up some weird strawman argument just so they can make some long-winded point.

“It is, isn’t it?”

Louis shook his head. “Varek, there are six billion people on Earth. Are you telling me that more often than not, lives end in unhappiness and tragedy?"

What? You're now gonna use statistics to determine how realistic a happy ending is?

"I can’t believe that."

"I am literall incapable of believing that. It's a birth defect."

"You see, I believe in those childish things that the Darkness abandoned. I believe in happily ever after. I believe in the power of love and hope and dreams even if everyone else has ‘outgrown’ them or discarded them as childish novelties."

My nigga. The main point you have to debunk is "Smiling bad". But no, Varek made some tangent about how fairy tales are dumb, so now you just have to make this grand Oscar bait speech about how fairy tales and happy endings are actually awesome. JFC. WTF, even.

"There’s nothing funny or corny about clichéd concepts like believing in hope or thinking that in the worst of situations we’ll get through somehow."

You think this shit is gonna convince the mass-murdering psychopath from just giving up?

"People die, of course; that’s an unavoidable consequence of existence..."

"Except when those darn Buddhists are talking about it. I refuse to accept their negative teachings!"

"but death after a lifetime of happiness or average happiness is not a death made in horror, pain, or tragedy."

>average happiness

"I’m an optimist, Varek, which is why even after everything that’s happened – after you’ve beaten me twice, even cut off my arm and made me unable to wield my own armor, I still have faith in my ability to beat you."

You know he could just ram a sword through your chest right the fuck now, right?
But of course he won't, because we're dealing with two autists who just have to have the last word.

"Maybe it’s insanity, maybe even it’s childish foolishness, but may God have mercy on my soul if I let you have the world you want, where Darkness encompasses our vision and hate is a superior emotion to happiness."

Or you could just go "Fuck you asshole, this is my planet!"

"And even if I’m wrong and you kill me today, my world will beat you, because the way of the world is not tragedy, but triumph.”

Also lots and lots of murder.

Varek’s lips almost began to curve into a smile, but he managed to restrain himself. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

Varek while listening to this shit:

“And what are you going to use to beat me, exactly? You have no armor to fight me with, no sword to wield or axe to cleave. You’re just a boy.”

Just lop his head off, FFS.

Louis grinned and narrowed his eyes. “No, I’m a boy with a friend who just took your magic book...”

Varek’s eyes widened and he snapped around, gasping in shock as he saw the Black Oracle gone. He heard a whistling sound to signal him and he immediately turned to his right towards a building across the street from the Landmark Center. White Raven stood on its rooftop, holding the Black Oracle in her hands with an arrow shot into it attached to a rope. She smiled and waved the book at Varek.

A fucking trick arrow? Our main villain gets foiled by a Looney Tunes gag?
And like quite a few times in this book, I have to ask where exactly the Black Oracle was? Was it lying on the ground? Was it floating in the air? Did Varek carry a pedestal up the roof for it? I don't know.
Whatever the case, they were expecting the book to be in a position where it could be easily snatched.

But ask yourself: Wouldn't it have made more sense for him to hold the book in his hand? What then, HMMM~?!

Varek, in his anger, looked back to his enemy, who stood up confidently with a double-barreled shotgun aimed right at his chest.

“...And I’m a boy with a gun.”

Linkara in a moment:

And really? You make a weird point about how you can no longer wield "any bladed weapon" because you only have one arm, but a motherfucking double-barreled shotgun is A-OK?

(Also this is totally ripping off his favorite mind battle moment where he turns into Ash from Evil Dead.)

Louis fired, the impact from the shot against his armor sending Varek onto his back. Louis tossed the gun aside, unable to reload it and reached into the duffel bag, taking out a handgun before he ran over to Thesia.

Of course he aims for the armor and not the head.

“Did you kill him?” she asked as Louis tried to both hold his weapon and free Thesia at the same time.

Louis replied, “Rubber bullets, non-lethal at a distance but strong enough to pierce skin if-”

Varek roared as he got back on his feet, swiping his sword at Louis’ head.

And that's not even going into how rubber bullets would probably do fuckall against normal plate armor.

Louis ducked as the blade hit the ropes, cutting them as his weapon hit the spire.

That's an awfully convenient slash.

Thesia quickly leapt away from her position and launched a fireball at Varek, who merely winced and growled as it hit him.

FFS stop casting Fireball.

The Dark Knight freed his sword and swung again at Louis, who dodged out of the way. However, Varek kicked his foot hard against Louis’ gut as he began to get up again.

How about stabbing him next time?

The hit sent Louis rolling away and down off the edge of the Center. Louis yelped in pain as he fell down off of the building, rolling on some of the overhangs before he hit the pavement hard on his back.

I'm pretty sure those overhangs would do fuckall to save you.

Much of the group screamed in horror as they saw Louis hit the ground, but sighed in relief as they saw him trying to get up.

Alice turned to Indow, exclaiming to her, “Start the spell!”

If only...

She then yelled out to her forces, “OPEN FIRE!”

The FBI Agents all began to shoot at the Landmark Center’s roof, hoping one of the bullets would hit Varek.

That's a great tactic considering he's not the only person on the roof.
And ever heard of snipers?

Varek himself turned to Thesia as she formed her sword from her hand, but she moved too slowly. Varek reached down and grabbed Thesia by her neck, breaking her concentration and disrupting her ability to summon her own weapon.

You know what would've broken that concentration even better?

As bullets flew through the air around them, Varek held Thesia up by her neck, his fist glowing with blackened energy. Thesia kicked at him as she felt him squeeze, desperately trying to get out of his grasp.

“Die, witch, and behold sweet oblivion.” Varek growled.

Could you like stop showboating for a second and just get shit done?
Also nice of the FBI to keep shooting when you're effectively using a hostage as a human shield.

The glow from Varek’s fist encompassed Thesia’s body as she screamed in pain, feeling as if her entire body was burning. White Raven’s eyes widened from across the street as she saw what Varek was doing and quickly brought her bow and arrow to bear. However, despite her trained speed and skillful precision, she was too late. Thesia’s body vaporized along with her armor two seconds after White Raven’s arrow bounced off of Varek’s armor.

(Also lol @ her arrows being revealed to be even more useless than I previously thought.)

White Raven stood in stark horror as she saw how coldly and easily Varek had eliminated Thesia, but it quickly turned to anger as she held the Black Oracle in her hands.

"The mass-murdering psychopath is a cold-blooded killer?!"

As White Raven ran down the stairs of the building to get back to the streets, Varek cast a Chaos Shield around his body and floated towards where Indow had begun casting the Lokmanwo spell. She had her arms extended out from her as they began to glow a bright white, her eyes closed and her head bowed down.

Man, if only Varek could shoot lightning or something...

“Lana kobo so kabalaboshan.” She spoke, the untranslatable words igniting the magicks she wielded.

Dammit, we're already past the Kobo hest bogos. That's the best part

(And what exactly does it mean when the words are "untranslatable"? Are they literally gibberish?)

With a more visible target, the FBI agents began to fire more precisely, bullets hammering against the Chaos Shield. However, the weapons had little effect on the barrier as he floated down closer to see what Indow was doing.

Turns out the FBI is kinda useless. What a shocker.

He aimed his hand at Indow, a black orb of energy launching out of it and slamming directly into Indow’s stomach. The Priestess was pushed back hard against the car she had come in, yelling out in pain as her fragile form collided with metal, knocking her out.

Of course this had to be the one fuck-off spell where she doesn't turn on a force field beforehand

The civilians of the group were taking cover as Varek descended towards the nearest group of FBI agents, who were starting to realize that their guns weren’t going to have an effect on him.

So Linkara's family and muggle friends were just standing there in the open? Okay.

Jordahn and Lithmenar readied their own weapons as they ran at Varek, determined to use more melee-based assaults to end him.

I am sure you will succeed where modern firearms failed

(Now if only Lithmenar would remember his date rape drug...)

White Raven came running out of the building with the Black Oracle in hand. Alice went to her, wincing in fear as she saw Varek fighting against two FBI agents who were trying to use their rifles as clubs.

Keep in mind this is all happening because Linkara didn't just shoot two slug rounds through Varek's brain.

“Is there anything in that book that can help us out here?!” she wanted to know.

There's gonna be a convenient Dark Knight to Human spell so they can defeat him without killing him, isn't there?

White Raven panted, a little out of breath as she tried to come to terms with what she had seen within a matter of minutes.

Yeah, yeah. Thesia got killed in a most PG-friendly fashion. Whoop dee freakin' doo.

“I... I’ve never read it before! There were only rumors about the kinds of magicks contained! Wielding dark magicks, simplistic spells that non- magic users could wield, imbuement blessings-”

White Raven’s eyes lit up and she smiled, turning to Alice and grabbing her arms. “Imbuement blessings, of course! Get Ted, Trevor, and Mandy! I have an idea!”

Wow. A type of magic that has never come up before. Now that's what I call quality writing!

*

Lithmenar tossed a throwing knife at Varek, who merely brought his sword into the path of the blade, deflecting it away. Lithmenar winced and backed up as Varek came running at him, out of throwing knives.

LMAO. Dude literally disarms himself. You think that last knife would've done the trick, after all the previous ones failed?

Varek swung his sword at Lithmenar, who ducked down to evade the first swipe. He chopped down at Lithmenar, who dodged and rolled to the left. Varek kicked Lithmenar’s leg, slowing him down.

Fucking speed debuff kick.

Varek tried to bring his weapon down on Lithmenar to kill him, but Jordahn punched Varek across the face, knocking him back and throwing off his balance.

Any particular reason why everyone's always punching the guy in the face when they have a free surprise attack against him - instead of just hitting him with their weapon?

She followed up by kicking Varek in the chest and swinging her axe at his right side, but Varek regained enough of his composure to block the assault.

Two hits. She had two free hits against him and wasted it all on a punch and a fucking kick.

One of Varek’s hands began to glow in an ebony hue.

You sure you couldn't find a fancier word for "glow" to go with your "ebony hue"?

He kept one hand on his sword to force back the axe while the glowing palm of his other hand hit Jordahn in the stomach, sending her flying back and through the window of a storefront.

You should do more disintegrations. That's a good trick.

Varek then kicked Lithmenar in the stomach and sent him rolling away, groaning in pain.

Have Sinnian warriors like a taboo against using a weapon against a defenseless opponent or something?

He considered killing the thief for a moment, but then saw a single figure through all of the various bodies lying in the street.

So apparently all the FBI and SWAT guys are just dead. Good job, Linkara!

It was Louis, who was still trying to pull himself up after having fallen off the roof.

Nigga, you got any idea how many of your bones should be broken?

He quickly charged over to Louis as the teenager looked up at Varek, his breathing strained and hoarse.

Varek brought his sword up, holding onto the hilt as he pointed the blade down at Louis’ chest. “Just a boy.”

Title drop... for the first book?

He pushed the sword down and Louis’ eyes widened as the blade came down at him. All of a sudden, however, a sheet of paper slipped in between Varek’s blade and Louis’ chest and, much to Varek’s surprise, stopped the blade entirely. He pushed down against the paper, but it didn’t pierce through it. He blinked and brought his sword back up, the paper suddenly floating away in the wind.

I've heard about plot armor, but this is ridiculous.

“What in the pit...?” he whispered as he took a step backwards, watching as the piece of paper suddenly flew back.

The paper drifted right in front of Trevor, who took hold of it with a smile. Varek turned his body completely towards Trevor as he stood alongside Alice, Ted, and Mandy.

The nerd brigade's gonna save the day.

“Leave him alone, asshole.” Trevor said, toying with the piece of paper.

“Or what?” Varek asked with a sneer.

Nigga, dude just stopped your sword with a piece of fucking paper. It's okay to be worried.

The four looked at one another and smirked, turning their gaze back to Varek. Pieces of paper began to fly out of windows and garbage cans and gathered in front of Trevor, forming into a solid mass. Mandy ran straight at Varek holding her knitting yarn, tossing it at him.

Knitting yarn. They're gonna kick his ass with knitting yarn.

Varek merely took a step behind him as the threads began to unravel from the main spool, each strand wrapping around something in the area. The main ball sent out three threads that hit Varek’s body, one thinning itself so it was as sharp as a blade and cut Varek’s face while the other two scraped against his armor. As the yarn began to retract back to Mandy, the ball of paper came flying through the air and collided with Varek, sending him against a light post and denting it in half.

I see this fight's gonna be about as dignified as Varek's debut brawl with that mall ninja kid.

Varek winced as he started to get up, seeing that Ted was standing in front of him and holding a piece of gum out to him.

“Gum?” the boy asked.

He's gonna do it! He's gonna do his thing!

Varek leapt up to try to attack him, but suddenly hit himself against a black wall that had formed in his path.

Dude's just straight up Niggaduck at this point.

The shield faded away, leaving Ted as he tilted his head slightly, popping the gum into his mouth. He then snapped his fingers, a black wave of energy hitting Varek from his left and sending him sprawling away.

What the fuck does this have to do with bubble gum?
JFC, all you had to do was cover the fucker in something sticky.

Mandy and Trevor ran to Ted’s side as Varek came rising, cracking his neck. Trevor sent another sheet of paper out at Varek, but he brought his hand up, a Chaos Shield blocking the paper’s path.

Oh, so now his force field works? Is this like a Borg shield that needed time to adapt to these cartoon attacks?

White Raven winced as she and Alice stood behind the commotion near the cars, continuing to look into the Black Oracle for anything else they could do.

I'm sure there's a spell to summon Pyramid Head or something.

“Why aren’t you trying to fight, too?” White Raven asked.

"I'm a crossover character from the Lightbringer webcomic and not allowed to interfere directly with this fight."

“The power that I got from the imbuement blessing isn’t useful here. I panicked and thought of being able to physically travel through electronics and data as my ability as well as manipulating code."

So apparently an "Imbuement blessing" can just give you any superpower you can think of.
Yeah, I'm just gonna ignore that can of worms. Otherwise I might need three posts for this nonsense.

"What about you, shouldn’t you be getting your bow and arrow or something?” Alice queried.

Bitch they just bounced off of the guy even before he activated his force field.

“Can you read the written languages of Sin?” White Raven asked in response.

"Of course. It's an elective at our school!"

“No...” the Code Poet answered.

“Then leave me to this and go help the ones of us who aren’t standing!” White Raven ordered.

Could the old man please hurry up with showing up with the upgraded gauntlet at a dramatically convenient time? I'm starting to get more annoyed than usual.

*

Louis rolled onto his stomach as he crawled through the street towards the sidewalk, his one arm barely able to move him at all. He could feel his consciousness already slipping from him as he sensed that death was just tugging at him.

Man, he's doing a lot worse than I initially thought.

He beheld vague images of his friends fighting Varek and not doing so well.

"And he beheld vague images of his friends fighting Varek - and not doing so well - LIKE LIGHTNING!"

It's the little things that keep me going through the mess.

Varek had adjusted his tactics to focus more on magicks than melee attacks.

Turns out that charging everything with a sword like a fucking lunatic is inferior to shooting bolts of eldritch might. Who would've guessed?

Louis got onto the sidewalk over to a large, broken chunk of pavement and looked up, trying to pull himself onto his feet. His eyes widened as his muddled vision saw a gold and silver object before him that was in crystal clarity in comparison to the blurred darkness around it. It was his gauntlet, but it was obviously changed. The side panels and the underside were silver instead of the full gold as before and it looked as if much of the metallic paneling of the armor itself had been changed in design, in addition to a blue jewel that was equipped to the end of the gauntlet where the elbow would be located.

The upgraded gauntlet's just sitting there. This is even more convenient that I ever thought possible.

He reached for the gauntlet and smiled as he saw a post-it note attached to the top of it. It read, ‘Try not to break this one. Sincerely, Thomas.’

What are you talking about? He never broke the first one. You yourself said the first one was working fine.

Was there like a draft of this where the gauntlet got fucked up or something?

Louis set it down on the ground and slid his hand inside of it, gasping as he felt as if he hadn’t had the gauntlet on in years. He stood up as his vision became clear again, the pain that had he had felt from falling off the building disappearing in an instant.

Turns out the gauntlet pumps you full of painkillers.

He clenched his fist and took in deep breathes as he looked to Varek, who was fighting against Trevor and Mandy, who had formed their respective paper and string into solid swords and trying to fight Varek on his level. Varek easily thrust them away with a simple swipe of his blade, knocking them out of his path. Ted lay on the ground unconscious nearby.

You have any idea how lame this would look in any kind of visual medium?

“VAREK!” Louis called out.

Varek looked over to Louis and grit his teeth, seeing that Louis was not only standing, but had his gauntlet on again.

I bet you're now regretting that you didn't cut off his right arm.
Or his head.

Louis sent the mental signal for his gauntlet to cover his body, but it felt different than the previous times, as if the armor was renewing him somehow.

The arms gonna grow back, isn't it?

He shuddered as he felt the nerve connections starting to form again in his left shoulder and he looked down to see flesh growing out from the spot where his arm had been cut off, pale skin coating the newly-formed muscle and bone.

Screw the rules (of magic).

After the hand itself had finished forming, the armor followed suit and created the mirror copy of his right gauntlet over it. There were pockets of silver incorporated into the new armor, particularly at his abs and along the underside of his circlet and along his legs.

Does anyone else find it weird that is upgraded armor has more "inferior" metal?

Louis held his rebuilt left arm up and extended the blade out, his wings flowing out from his back as he looked from his blade to Varek.

“Groovy.” Louis said proudly.

Varek aimed a glowing hand at Louis, a ball of dark energy rocketing through the air at the Linkara. Louis’ blade extended from his right arm and he slashed up at the ball as it came in range, dissipating it with ease.

Oh, turns out that was just an evil fireball spell.

Louis ascended into the air as Varek came running at him, his feet soon leaving the ground to follow Louis. With both blades extended, Louis flew right at Varek, ready for the final confrontation.

And about damn time. Just put this fucking chapter out of its misery already.

Both said nothing as they dodged and assaulted, their blades crashing against each other. They had no more need to speak their philosophies and beliefs – each knew what the other believed and thought what the other believed in was wrong.

Who the fuck cares? This isn't a debating club. Just kill each other already.

On the streets, Code Poet was calling for backup and medical personnel while White Raven helped Indow to her feet.

You know, it's a bit weird that Indow has so far done fuckall in this fight. Usually she has to do everything.

They looked up into the sky as they beheld Varek and Louis’ forms circling each other, occasionally meeting only to break apart again.

"And they beheld Varek and Louis' forms circling each other - LIKE LIGHTNING!"

Each attack made against the other was countered or defeated in some manner, every blow matched and deflected.

You usually describe every dum dodge, twirl and kick - and now this?

Louis, deciding to shake things up, led Varek away from St. Paul itself, flying around in other areas to try to throw him off-balance and gain an advantage.

Leave your friends behind, that ought to do the trick!

They flew to Valleyfair, navigating the twists and turns of the roller coaster tracks as one tried to beat the other.

(It's an amusement park.)

They followed the course of the wind and traveled to highways and streets, pummeling each other high above onlookers who gasped and pointed up at the two.

Did this turn into a Superman movie or something?

They traveled over Como Zoo, amazing spectators who could see an epic confrontation before them but had no context by which to understand what exactly it was that was occurring.

I do have context, and I'm only slightly less confused.

Minutes that seemed to stretch for hours passed as the mortal enemies engaged each other, never relenting from their attack posture.

How many different "postures" can you have while flying?

Eventually, they returned back to the Landmark Center and the original battleground, neither one tired or worn out from their already-lengthy battle.

Oh, so this long-ass paragraph about battling all over Minnesota was essentially filler? Good to know.

A fireball shot up through the space between Varek and Louis, its origin Indow.

Sure. Just keep using fireballs. Maybe one of these days one of them might actually accomplish something.

The two looked down and saw that many of the FBI agents were already back on their feet along with Louis’ magic-enhanced friends. Jordahn and Lithmenar were coming to as Louis turned to Varek and crossed his arms.

“It seems you’re outnumbered, Destroyer.” He stated.

Well, as long as he can stay away from the paper and knitting yarn he should be fine.

Varek snarled at him. “I shall not leave until I hold your bloody, festering corpse in my hands, you retched-”

Oh, so now you want to kill him?

Louis took advantage of Varek’s momentary lack of concentration and rammed his shoulder into Varek’s chest.

The fuck did that happen? He was likely looking at you while ranting.

The angle of the impact sent Varek down into a nearby building, crashing through a skylight. Varek grumbled as he picked himself up, the ground beneath him littered with bits of broken glass. Louis descended through the broken skylight and dropped down in front of Varek, who held his right arm as he felt as if he had broken it. Louis crossed his arms and smirked.

Really? You get knocked through a fucking skylight and break your arm? Did Linkara score a critical hit or something?

“Had enough?” Louis queried.

Varek roared and brought both of his arms up, ignoring the searing, biting pain that ached at him. His hands resumed their ebony glow and he shot solid beams of dark energy at the ceiling and walls, moving his arms in a wild fashion, sending the energy everywhere around him. Louis gasped in shock as the ceiling and the walls began to collapse...

You know you can just punch him or something? Or fly up?

*

Indow cried out Louis’ name as she ran at the collapsed building, waving away the dust cloud surrounding it as she climbed on the debris and wreckage.

As if he didn't use his wings as a shield or something.

Everyone else followed as she looked around, trying to find any sign of her love amidst the remains. She began pushing aside concrete and drywall remains, desperately seeking Louis or his body.

Can't you just cast Detect Life or something?

About twenty feet away from Indow, a pile of debris exploded outwards, Louis standing in its place with fully-extended wings.

Called it.

He staggered for a moment and coughed for a few seconds. Indow ran at him and practically leapt into his arms, crying as she hugged him. Louis held onto her, smiling and taking in a few deep breathes [sic].

Nearby, the two could hear a coughing voice. They followed the sound to its source – Varek.

Shit. There's more.

The Destroyer was lying half-buried in rubble and with several gashes on his form, including a sharp spike of metal embedded inside his broken armor and a heavy cut on the left side of his head that leaked blood. Varek looked up as he took in deep breathes, seeing that Louis was perfectly all right.

Varek merc'd himself.

“You... survived?” he asked rhetorically.

“My armor covered me at the last second to protect me from the collapse.” Louis answered.

>mfw I forgot how indestructible my opponent's armor is

Varek sighed and swallowed, a bit of blood was dripping from the tip of his lip. “It seems you have won... You are indeed a skilled fighter, boy...”

“Or you just have incredibly bad luck.” Louis responded.

"Or my armor is OP."

Much to the surprise of the growing group around him, Varek smiled and laughed into the air, sighing as he looked up at Louis with tired eyes.

“So this is elation? It seems I need it to feel better about this... I think I’m dying...” Varek spoke.

“Save your strength, we’ll take you to a hospital.” Louis said.

Really? For someone who whines and bitches about "stupid" story tropes every book, you seem to be pretty obsessed with the "The hero refuses to kill beyond any reason" one.

Varek shook his head, still smiling. “No, no. I do not intend to make myself a prisoner of this place. I am dying and will soon be free from this horrid world.”

And I'm almost free from this horrid series.

“So it’s over? The last of the Darkness gone?” Indow asked.

Did everyone forgot about Myrrha again?

Varek laughed maniacally into the air. “Over?! Gone?! Stupid girl, it is only beginning! Even now, my disciple, the Darkbringer, heads to your Pharos City! He will bring the word of the Darkness with him and it shall spread! The glory of the dark shall enter the hearts of the people and you will all see yourselves for the evils that you are! The Darkness will live on and where I have failed he shall succeed!

Boy, are you in for a disappointment.
And again with this "Spreading the Dorkness" bullshit. You literally had all the time in the world for that, but you did jack shit.

“And before you go rushing to the rescue of your precious wicked world, I have even better news, oh Linkara! Do you recall Myrrha?! The vile witch has been very busy back on Sin... Before he became convinced that he could bring you to join us, the Darkness plotted and planned, looking for every single weapon he thought capable of destroying you... His storehouse and arsenal still exist, and Myrrha is going to take every weapon there and slaughter you and every other Linkaran to cleanse Sin! Behold, Linkara, Darkness shall triumph!”

Knowing Myrrha, she'll probably waste what feels like months for some dumb ceremony before she even considers opening this "storehouse".

Varek chuckled and laughed, letting loose a torrent of joyous emotion to compensate for the immense pain he felt in his body. For a few seconds, the group just stared at Varek as he laughed, but eventually the sound faded and Varek closed his eyes, dead.

The group exchanged glances, all slowly looking to Louis. Louis crossed his arms and glared down at his dead nemesis.

“Not today.”

Dead Horse Interchange

The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

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