The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

[wulfenlord]

Indow starts getting obsessed with capeshit comics

This fucking shitbag has no shame to insert every perversion in his stories except for actually fucking his self-insert waifu.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Book 4, Chapter 9 - Missing Things II
(Or: Stuff Happens, Part 2: Stuff Harder)



I'm pretty sure that Thesia will save the day, but how much more cringe will we have to suffer through? And will the actual villains finally make their next move?

"Baddies Never Smile" Count: 21
And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

I'm starting to feel like Linkara (the author) has been phoning it in more than usual after his self-insert's epic beatdown.

So the "comedy" segment of last chapter centers around Indow throwing a "SONIC'S ARMS ARE NOT BLUE"-tier temper tantrum because magic in Sailor Moon is unrealistic.
I've already catched bits and pieces of that scene long before I started reading Angel Armor, but with proper context it's somehow even dumber.

And just when you thought what little passes for a plot here couldn't come to an even more screeching halt, we are dumped straight into a fucking filler arc because a giant version of the glitch Pokemon MissingNo. is just chilling out in the real world, pixelizing anyone and anything that gets too close (which is apparently a bad thing, but so far the plot hasn't explained WTF happens to you if you get pixelized).

Remember way back in this book's introduction, when Linkara (the author) claimed to have seen the error of his ways with regards to his self-indulgent mind battles? Well turns out he's just porting this nonsense into the real world now, logic be damned.
Shit don't even make sense. The Dorkbringer tries out one spell and suddenly reality glitches out. Varek tries to justify things by claiming that trying out any spell on Earth for the first time is like playing Russian Roulette, but that doesn't mesh with what we've seen so far. Both him and Indow have cast spells with reckless abandon, and they've all worked at least as good as on paper. Indow never even hinted at her having to be more careful now.

I could also swear that Linkara (the author) ripped this two-parter's premise off of some Saturday morning cartoon episode. You know, Starscream tries to prove that he's hot shit, he fucks up, and now the Thundercats have to content with a giant plant monster as a change of pace while Starscream gets reprimanted by Skeletor for being a moron. I'm sure something like that has happened in at least one of these shows.

For whatever reason, this is also a very obvious attempt at a "spotlight episode" for Thesia, where she'll prove her worth to the rest of the team.
Mostly because said rest of the team is suddenly taking their biggest L's since the first book (where they got captured by almost every Dark Knight patrol they ran into).
Oh, and for some reason her (fancy) sword is the only weapon effective against MissingNo. I'm sure the inevitable explanation will be both logical and satisfying

ChapterShow

Louis opened his eyes and sighed in frustration. He slowly picked himself up and looked around, confirming what his eyes had told him when he had first opened them. The area was surrounded in blackness, the only light coming down from some unseen source from high above him. He looked around, trying to see if any of the others were with him. He had been in places like this before and it was never a pleasant experience when he had. Sometimes it would be a mental vision that made him fight off the effects of a disease ravaging his body or it could be some creature attempting to torture him for information, but it always meant fighting something.

As he peered past the light encasing him, he saw the rest of his companions on the ground, sans Thesia. Jordahn was beginning to stir from her own slumber and grumble, so Louis went over to her first to try to help her up.

Jordahn nodded, holding up her hand to indicate she needed no help. Louis nodded and went to Indow next as she beheld the others already beginning to get up. Lithmenar leapt to his feet and pulled a throwing knife from his belt, the adrenaline fueling him and making him recover from his sleep quicker than the others.

“What’s going on?!” he demanded to know.

“I’m not sure, Lithie. Is everyone okay?” Louis asked as he helped Indow to her feet.

“As best as can be expected... where are we? The last thing I remember is being assaulted by the creature...” White Raven said, looking up to try to discover where the light was coming from that covered her own form.

“The same for me. It seems we are captured by this Missing Number.” Indow suggested as an explanation.

“I’ve been in a place like this when I was attacked by that shadow creature with Jordahn.” Louis brought up.

“Where’s Thesia?!” White Raven asked, realizing that she was not along with the group.

The five looked around, trying to see if they could spot their latest companion.

“It seems that the Conqueror has been more fortunate than the rest of us.” Lithmenar said.

“Or she’s dead.” Indow offered.

“Unlikely.” Lithmenar replied. “This creature didn’t seem interested in killing us, just touching us.”

“Perhaps Thesia’s been able to hold it back with her own magicks. She did mention that she had access to very powerful spells.” Jordahn pointed out.

“Let’s not worry about Thesia for the moment. Indow, can you cast some light and give us a better view of what’s going on?” Louis asked.

Indow nodded and held out her hand in front of her. She blinked and tilted her head to the side in confusion as she stared at her hand. Her eyes widened as she continued staring at her hand, her body shaking a little. She then balled her hand into a fist and looked to Louis.

“It seems I cannot cast a spell...” she stated.

Louis turned around to face White Raven and opened his mouth so he could ask her to try to use her meditations, but when Louis had turned completely around, a small boy stood in front of him. Louis gasped in surprise and fell back onto his rear, suddenly realizing that his armor was no longer with him. The boy was short and appeared six years old in age. His hair was black and his skin was pale as he slowly looked from one member of the group to the next, his expression never changing.

The others turned to look at him as Louis got back up. It was then that they noticed the boy’s eyes had two different colors, one on each side. His right was light purple while the left was orange, but the really odd thing about his eyes was the fact that they lacked pupils. Each eye was just the solid color.

You are incomplete.

The boy’s mouth hadn’t moved yet the five could hear his voice. They grouped together in front of the boy as he tilted his head to the ground.

I am also incomplete. We will be good friends.

*

Thesia growled and panted softly as she got on one knee, trying to support her body as she looked back at Missing Number. She had slashed at the being for five minutes, trying to get in close enough to make a killing strike, but her attempts to get closer than four feet from the mass of static were met with nothing but a sharp blow from a tendril that knocked her away. While Missing Number’s touch did not effect her, it still was solid enough to hit her and she had a difficult time trying to deflect any of the tendrils that forced her back. She did admit to herself, though, that she was fortunate that the thing was no longer trying to attack her, instead simply defending itself whenever she came too close.

“All right, standard attacks won’t work. Perhaps this foul beast would prefer the taste of my magicks!”

With that, Thesia put her sword down into the sheath attached to her belt and kneeled down, extending her arms out away from her. Her eyes glowed with a yellow light while her hands became encased in fiery red auras, lightning bolts suddenly forming under her hands and to the ground. After a few seconds of keeping herself still in that position, she stood up and clapped her hands together, the energy bursting out in a harmless shockwave. She curled her fingers apart, keeping her wrists pressing against one another and formed a bowl shape with her fingers, aiming it directly at Missing Number.

“BURNING LIGHTNING!” She screamed.

Red bolts of lightning blasted forth from the palms of her hands and headed straight for Missing Number, moving far too quickly for it to try to swat at it with its tendrils. As the bolts hit its ‘skin,’ the creature shuddered, making its screech as if in pain. However, as the spell subsided, Missing Number returned to simply sitting in the street as if nothing had happened to it.

Thesia bit her lower lip and drew her sword once again. “Well, back at it, I suppose!”

*

“What do you mean we’re ‘incomplete?’ Who are you?”

Lithmenar questioned the child, his throwing knife gripped hard in his hand.

The child tilted its head to the left.

I am-

...Data not retrievable at this time. Error.

“It really is Missing Number.” Louis said, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. “It can’t identify itself because it doesn’t have the list of identification slots.”

“Still, what does he mean when he says we’re incomplete?” Jordahn asked.

I have analyzed your cache data and have discovered you are not complete in several key aspects.

“Okay, it is really disturbing when it does that...” Lithmenar said, referring to the boy’s ‘speaking.’

Subject: Lithmenar is incomplete. He lacks subjects: Analee and Lauralen.

The boy pointed at Lithmenar as it spoke, a smile crossing across his lips.

We are both incomplete. We will make excellent friends.

“Okay now it’s creeping me out...” Louis stated, biting his lower lip.

“What do you mean you’re incomplete?” Indow asked.

I am missing key sectors of information such as my identification. Together we can become a complete entity and complete primary programming.

“I hate to ask, but what’s your primary programming?” Louis requested to know.

The boy paused for a moment, the smile disappearing and returning to his emotionless demeanor.

Battle and attempt victory through every possible strategy. Would you like to begin the integration?

“No!” the group all yelled at the same time.

The boy blinked, one of his eyes twitching.

Error. When shall integration take place?

“It won’t be. We have no desire to ‘integrate’ with you.” White Raven answered.

Desire? Word not recognized. Please restate.

“We’re trying to argue with a computer glitch, it doesn’t understand itself, much less what we’re saying.” Louis said to the others.

When shall integration take place?

“It’s not going to happen. We are unwilling to integrate with you.” Jordahn replied, crossing her arms.

The boy blinked for a moment, then narrowed his eyes, glaring at the group.

Error. Integration MUST take place. Summoning protocols... ERROR. Protocol selection corrupted. Initiating primary programming function. Battle!

The boy quickly brought up its hand and aimed it at Jordahn, a stream of water spontaneously appearing and colliding into her with the power of a fire hose. Jordahn grunted as she was pushed back by the force of the water, the boy not relenting. White Raven charged at the boy in an attempt to stop his burst, but the boy brought his other hand up in her direction, another stream of water colliding into her and forcing her back. Indow instinctively began to ready a fireball, but winced as she realized that her magicks weren’t working. Lithmenar, however, charged forward at the boy, stabbing one of his knives into the boy’s shoulder.

The boy made no outward expression of pain. He merely looked down at the knife and then back at Lithmenar, the water streams ceasing

Hit points reduced by 12. Counter-attack initiated.

The boy brought his hand up right at Lithmenar’s chest and fired the water stream again, blasting him back to the ground like the others. Jordahn growled as she managed to recover from her own assault and dodged out of the way of another water stream aimed her way. She swung her fist at the boy once she was in range... and missed!

The boy had disappeared from sight, but then Jordahn looked up and winced. The boy was floating high in the air, glaring down at the five in contempt.

Error. You are all missing things and yet you do not wish to integrate to make yourselves complete. ERROR. Number not recognized... Integration must take place. Alone...

The boy charged down straight at Louis, but much to the surprise of the entire group, he merely stood his ground and glared right back at the boy. At the point where he would’ve been two feet away from Louis, the boy stopped and blinked, hovering in the air in front of him.

You are not initiating primary function.

“No, I’m not.”

You will become integrated?

“No. I’m not doing anything.”

...ERROR. Primary function or integration – which choice are you initiating?

“Neither. Like I said, I’ve done this sort of thing before – get trapped in a black room, probably a little trip inside my mind, fight off a few bad guys with some materials from books, TV, and movies, and frankly I’m more than a little bored with it. As such, I have decided that I’m not going to do anything. I’m just going to sit here and wait.”

Louis sat down on the ground cross-legged. He rested his hands in his lap and began twiddling his thumbs, ignoring the boy.

...ERROR! Primary function cannot continue until opponent subject: Louis initiates response.

“It can’t, eh? Oh, well. Anyone know a good song?” Louis asked, looking to the others, three of whom were soaking wet.

*

Thesia took in a deep breath as she slowly walked towards Missing Number, having finally thought of a way she might be able to finally defeat it. She had put her sword away and removed her gauntlets, cracking her knuckles as she approached her enemy. The move she had thought of was a risky one, but every other spell or attack plan she had attempted had failed miserably.

“There is nothing to worry about, Thesia... You once conquered an entire city with nothing but two-dozen bandits at your command. Every male who has attempted to usurp your power has met the tip of your blade.” She reassured herself.

The tendrils of Missing Number began to slide out as it sensed Thesia’s approach, but Thesia was counting on that to happen. She brought her hands to bear as she moved within a few feet of the creature, making herself appear as if she were going to pounce upon her enemy.

“This filthy thing is nothing in comparison to your glory. You bested knights, warriors, soldiers... you resurrected Gritsnak and have now even survived death itself at the hands of a ghost. There is nothing that can stop you!” she told herself.

The tendrils lashed out and tried to hit Thesia away, but her hands grabbed onto two of them. The tendrils tried to shake her loose, but her grip maintained. She clenched her teeth and growled as her eyes began to glow a bright white, the spell initiating. The glow spread around her body, eventually reaching her hands. Missing Number slowly began to struggle less as the glow eventually spread into it, as well, the static pixels on its body slowing to a crawl.

“FORCED TRANSFER!” Thesia yelled, completing the spell’s casting.

The effect was swift – much faster than Thesia had predicted. Missing Number shrank, its formless body being sucked into Thesia’s hands. It took only ten seconds for its entire body to be absorbed inside of her. She howled in pain for a moment as she collapsed to her knees, panting as she looked to the others. The static covering them faded within a few seconds and they began taking deep breathes, blinking and looking around as if trying to get their bearings. Thesia took in a few depth breathes as the glow slowly subsided and, to her surprise, she felt no pain at all.

Indow was the first to go over to her and offer her hand to help her up. Thesia smiled and took it, her legs wobbling a little as she got up. She was still a little dizzy from the spell’s completion, but none the worse for wear.

“What did you do?” White Raven asked.

“A Forced Transfer spell.” She answered.

“That’s a Forbidden spell.” Indow said, albeit smiling.

“Indeed it is... and it did the trick.” She replied, giving Louis a ‘thumbs up.’

“What’s a Forced Transfer?” Lithmenar queried as he walked over, recovering the throwing knife that had been initially taken by Missing Number.

“It forces the built-up magicks within the body of one Sorcerer or Sorceress to be pulled into the body of another. It was forbidden because each person’s magical signature is different and trying to absorb another’s can cause irreparable damage to the body. The transfer itself is usually quite painful for the first few days.” Indow explained.

“And I surprisingly feel fine... fantastic, even, albeit slightly woozy from draining so much.” Thesia continued.

“How’d you know that’d work?” Jordahn inquired.

“It was a hunch. I knew that creatures like that were not exactly common on this world, so there must have been some sort of magic influence behind it.” Thesia responded.

Lithmenar winced. “But, wait, the only magical people here are you, Indow, and...”

Louis narrowed his eyes. “...And Varek.”

“Hello again, Linkara.”

Louis twisted his body around and shivered. He had felt it before the last time it had happened, but he hadn’t paid much mind to it, assuming it was just a chill up his spine from seeing the water turn black. But now he knew it was a part of the transition of what was occurring. He brought his blades up and saw the silhouetted form standing on the roof of a small building. He ignored the second figure that stood beside him, since his eyes were focused entirely upon his enemy.

Varek the Destroyer had once again shifted Louis into the magic sub-dimension.

“Ready, boy?” he asked.

Louis glanced to his right and smiled as he blinked twice and Indow stood beside him, her eyes glowing yellow as she completed her own transition into the sub-dimension. He looked to his left and behind him, seeing that Indow had brought the others along. Louis pointed up at Varek and smirked.

“Let’s go!”

RiffingShow

Louis opened his eyes and sighed in frustration.

I feel you, brother.

He slowly picked himself up and looked around, confirming what his eyes had told him when he had first opened them.

That's a weird way to phrase things, but whatever.

The area was surrounded in blackness, the only light coming down from some unseen source from high above him.

This is gonna lead into a mind battle after all, isn't it?

He looked around, trying to see if any of the others were with him. He had been in places like this before and it was never a pleasant experience when he had.

At least for the few minutes it takes you to remember that you are Mind God.

Also why do these mind battle realms apparently all look the same? That's not every imaginative.

Sometimes it would be a mental vision that made him fight off the effects of a disease ravaging his body or it could be some creature attempting to torture him for information, but it always meant fighting something.

And it's always the cringiest nonsense in these books.

I think I'll take up the proper position for these kinds of chapters.

As he peered past the light encasing him, he saw the rest of his companions on the ground, sans Thesia. Jordahn was beginning to stir from her own slumber and grumble, so Louis went over to her first to try to help her up.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

I think her arm is pixels now, so she probably felt better once.

Jordahn nodded, holding up her hand to indicate she needed no help. Louis nodded and went to Indow next as she beheld the others already beginning to get up.

"I beheld the others, as they began to get up LIKE LIGHTNING!"


I needed that one.

Lithmenar leapt to his feet and pulled a throwing knife from his belt, the adrenaline fueling him and making him recover from his sleep quicker than the others.

And he's more agitated than everyone else because...?

“What’s going on?!” he demanded to know.

“I’m not sure, Lithie. Is everyone okay?” Louis asked as he helped Indow to her feet.

Well, I think most of them now look like Minecraft characters, but it should be alright.

“As best as can be expected... where are we? The last thing I remember is being assaulted by the creature...” White Raven said, looking up to try to discover where the light was coming from that covered her own form.

"Her own form"? The fuck is up with the writing in this one? Did you buy a Thesaurus, Linkara (the author)?

“The same for me. It seems we are captured by this Missing Number.” Indow suggested as an explanation.

That might be a nicely suggested explanation, but it's not explaining enough IMO.

“I’ve been in a place like this when I was attacked by that shadow creature with Jordahn.” Louis brought up.

Just turn into Ash again and get this over with already.

“Where’s Thesia?!” White Raven asked, realizing that she was not along with the group.

The five looked around, trying to see if they could spot their latest companion.

“It seems that the Conqueror has been more fortunate than the rest of us.” Lithmenar said.

That's an ominous nickname.

“Or she’s dead.” Indow offered.

“Unlikely.” Lithmenar replied. “This creature didn’t seem interested in killing us, just touching us.”

Well, technically jellyfish also only "touch" you...

“Perhaps Thesia’s been able to hold it back with her own magicks. She did mention that she had access to very powerful spells.” Jordahn pointed out.

Do the spellcasters of this party ever just sit down and explain their magic nonsense to each other?

“Let’s not worry about Thesia for the moment. Indow, can you cast some light and give us a better view of what’s going on?” Louis asked.

I see Indow's doing the heavy lifting again.

Indow nodded and held out her hand in front of her. She blinked and tilted her head to the side in confusion as she stared at her hand. Her eyes widened as she continued staring at her hand, her body shaking a little. She then balled her hand into a fist and looked to Louis.

“It seems I cannot cast a spell...” she stated.

I spoke too soon.
Then again, if this a mind battle it's clear that only the Great Linkara can get anything done, for these medieval peasants aren't don't have that modern entertainment brainrot.

Louis turned around to face White Raven and opened his mouth so he could ask her to try to use her meditations...

Why? That shit never works.

... but when Louis had turned completely around, a small boy stood in front of him.

I bet it's a creppy kid. That would be breaking new ground in this series.

(Though he did mention Slayers Next last chapter, which did have a creepy kid...)

Louis gasped in surprise and fell back onto his rear, suddenly realizing that his armor was no longer with him.

What's with the cartoonish shock reaction? I'm pretty sure people IRL don't get surprised so hard they land on their ass. And why are you only now noticing that your armor is missing?

The boy was short and appeared six years old in age.

Is he short because he's six, or is he short for a six-year-old?

His hair was black and his skin was pale as he slowly looked from one member of the group to the next, his expression never changing.

Oh shit, that's dangeorusly close to not smiling

The others turned to look at him as Louis got back up. It was then that they noticed the boy’s eyes had two different colors, one on each side.

As opposed to having both colors on the same "side"?
Speaking of "side", I've never heard that being used in relation with eyes. People generally just use "eye".

His right was light purple while the left was orange, but the really odd thing about his eyes was the fact that they lacked pupils. Each eye was just the solid color.

Maybe you should start with that one, instead of at first suggesting the eyes were fairly normal besides each one having a different color?
And I guess it's kinda creepy, though the two colors strike me as a bit random.

You are incomplete.

The boy’s mouth hadn’t moved yet the five could hear his voice.

I would've still used quotation marks for the kid, 'cause using italics for actual dialogue is a bit confusing IMO.

They grouped together in front of the boy as he tilted his head to the ground.

I am also incomplete. We will be good friends.

Whatever that means.
And boy, will you regret having Linkara as a homie.

*

Thesia growled and panted softly as she got on one knee, trying to support her body as she looked back at Missing Number.

We can assume that she probably already winced and bit her lower lip.

She had slashed at the being for five minutes, trying to get in close enough to make a killing strike, but her attempts to get closer than four feet from the mass of static were met with nothing but a sharp blow from a tendril that knocked her away.

Do you even know which part of this thing would cause a "killing" blow?

While Missing Number’s touch did not effect her, it still was solid enough to hit her and she had a difficult time trying to deflect any of the tendrils that forced her back.

Oh, so on top of having the only effective weapon against this thing, she also just so happens to be immune against its pixelization effect? That's very convenient.

She did admit to herself, though, that she was fortunate that the thing was no longer trying to attack her, instead simply defending itself whenever she came too close.

I mean, this thing was just relaxing before you all got within two squares of it...

“All right, standard attacks won’t work. Perhaps this foul beast would prefer the taste of my magicks!”

Now here would've been a good excuse for italics. But no, we're back to people talking to themselves.

With that, Thesia put her sword down into the sheath attached to her belt and kneeled down, extending her arms out away from her. Her eyes glowed with a yellow light while her hands became encased in fiery red auras, lightning bolts suddenly forming under her hands and to the ground. After a few seconds of keeping herself still in that position...

A few seconds. For an attack spell. But it's Sailor Moon that has the dumb magic

... she stood up and clapped her hands together, the energy bursting out in a harmless shockwave. She curled her fingers apart, keeping her wrists pressing against one another and formed a bowl shape with her fingers, aiming it directly at Missing Number.

“BURNING LIGHTNING!” She screamed.

How come Linkara (the author) can't come up with spell names that aren't gay and lame?

Red bolts of lightning blasted forth from the palms of her hands and headed straight for Missing Number, moving far too quickly for it to try to swat at it with its tendrils.

This implies that backhanding the magic lightning might potentially be a valid defense.

As the bolts hit its ‘skin,’ the creature shuddered, making its screech as if in pain. However, as the spell subsided, Missing Number returned to simply sitting in the street as if nothing had happened to it.

Thesia bit her lower lip and drew her sword once again. “Well, back at it, I suppose!”

Are you sure you don't wanna zap it 2-3 times before giving up on magic entirely?

*

“What do you mean we’re ‘incomplete?’ Who are you?”

Lithmenar questioned the child, his throwing knife gripped hard in his hand.

When did you steal Gyaru Casca's anger issue shtick?

The child tilted its head to the left.

I am-

...Data not retrievable at this time. Error.

This will be an annoying discussion.

“It really is Missing Number.” Louis said, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. “It can’t identify itself because it doesn’t have the list of identification slots.”

This will be a painful discussion.

“Still, what does he mean when he says we’re incomplete?” Jordahn asked.

I have analyzed your cache data and have discovered you are not complete in several key aspects.

“Okay, it is really disturbing when it does that...” Lithmenar said, referring to the boy’s ‘speaking.’

LMAO. Nigga, like, don't look at the creepy kid.

Subject: Lithmenar is incomplete. He lacks subjects: Analee and Lauralen.

Holy shit, his loli sister has been mentioned.

The boy pointed at Lithmenar as it spoke, a smile crossing across his lips.

We are both incomplete. We will make excellent friends.

“Okay now it’s creeping me out...” Louis stated, biting his lower lip.

That's not a particularly high bar considering you're creeped out by a glitch in a Game Boy game.

“What do you mean you’re incomplete?” Indow asked.

I am missing key sectors of information such as my identification. Together we can become a complete entity and complete primary programming.

I bet Indow will become the Hyper Beam move.

“I hate to ask, but what’s your primary programming?” Louis requested to know.

The boy paused for a moment, the smile disappearing and returning to his emotionless demeanor.

Battle and attempt victory through every possible strategy. Would you like to begin the integration?

This is starting to sound a lot kinkier than I expected.

“No!” the group all yelled at the same time.

That's not even cartoonish. It's just silly.

The boy blinked, one of his eyes twitching.

Error. When shall integration take place?

“It won’t be. We have no desire to ‘integrate’ with you.” White Raven answered.

Fucking TERF bitch.

Desire? Word not recognized. Please restate.

“We’re trying to argue with a computer glitch, it doesn’t understand itself, much less what we’re saying.” Louis said to the others.

I dunno what's more annoying: This helpful reminder of how stupid this whole scenario is, or Linkara once again being the expert in everything who knows exactly WTF is going on.

When shall integration take place?

“It’s not going to happen. We are unwilling to integrate with you.” Jordahn replied, crossing her arms.

Just give her enough booze and she'll "integrate" with anyone, if you catch my drift.

The boy blinked for a moment, then narrowed his eyes, glaring at the group.

Error. Integration MUST take place. Summoning protocols... ERROR. Protocol selection corrupted. Initiating primary programming function. Battle!

The boy quickly brought up its hand and aimed it at Jordahn, a stream of water spontaneously appearing and colliding into her with the power of a fire hose.

OMG it used Water Gun!

Jordahn grunted as she was pushed back by the force of the water, the boy not relenting.

It's gonna Water Gun her hard.

White Raven charged at the boy in an attempt to stop his burst, but the boy brought his other hand up in her direction, another stream of water colliding into her and forcing her back.

Now what will it do when a third person attacks?

Indow instinctively began to ready a fireball, but winced as she realized that her magicks weren’t working.

Well your fireballs would've likely done fuckall - like they always do - so it's not a big loss.

Lithmenar, however, charged forward at the boy, stabbing one of his knives into the boy’s shoulder.

The boy made no outward expression of pain. He merely looked down at the knife and then back at Lithmenar, the water streams ceasing

Hit points reduced by 12. Counter-attack initiated.

Cute.

The boy brought his hand up right at Lithmenar’s chest and fired the water stream again, blasting him back to the ground like the others. Jordahn growled as she managed to recover from her own assault and dodged out of the way of another water stream aimed her way. She swung her fist at the boy once she was in range... and missed!

The boy had disappeared from sight, but then Jordahn looked up and winced. The boy was floating high in the air, glaring down at the five in contempt.

So he just tanks a knife, but will teleport out of the way for a punch?

Error. You are all missing things and yet you do not wish to integrate to make yourselves complete. ERROR. Number not recognized... Integration must take place. Alone...

Don't you wanna FUSE?

The boy charged down straight at Louis, but much to the surprise of the entire group, he merely stood his ground and glared right back at the boy.

Here we go full Linkara I guess

At the point where he would’ve been two feet away from Louis, the boy stopped and blinked, hovering in the air in front of him.

If he stops at two feet, he is two feet away. JFC this prose.

You are not initiating primary function.

“No, I’m not.”

You will become integrated?

“No. I’m not doing anything.”

...ERROR. Primary function or integration – which choice are you initiating?

Bitch you started attacking in the first place because Gyaru Casca told you to fuck yourself. Now Linkara's doing the same thing, but you're just confused instead?

“Neither. Like I said, I’ve done this sort of thing before – get trapped in a black room, probably a little trip inside my mind, fight off a few bad guys with some materials from books, TV, and movies, and frankly I’m more than a little bored with it. As such, I have decided that I’m not going to do anything. I’m just going to sit here and wait.”

You know, it's nice that you admit that these mind battles are shit, but this isn't exactly better.

Louis sat down on the ground cross-legged. He rested his hands in his lap and began twiddling his thumbs, ignoring the boy.

...ERROR! Primary function cannot continue until opponent subject: Louis initiates response.

“It can’t, eh? Oh, well. Anyone know a good song?” Louis asked, looking to the others, three of whom were soaking wet.

And thus the Great Linkara outsmarted the insane machine god by doing nothing

*

Thesia took in a deep breath as she slowly walked towards Missing Number, having finally thought of a way she might be able to finally defeat it. She had put her sword away and removed her gauntlets, cracking her knuckles as she approached her enemy. The move she had thought of was a risky one, but every other spell or attack plan she had attempted had failed miserably.

I don't think bare-knuckle boxing is the way to go here.

“There is nothing to worry about, Thesia... You once conquered an entire city with nothing but two-dozen bandits at your command. Every male who has attempted to usurp your power has met the tip of your blade.” She reassured herself.

Man, you start one short-lived autonomous zone, and suddenly you think your the meanest bitch in town

The tendrils of Missing Number began to slide out as it sensed Thesia’s approach, but Thesia was counting on that to happen. She brought her hands to bear as she moved within a few feet of the creature, making herself appear as if she were going to pounce upon her enemy.

“This filthy thing is nothing in comparison to your glory. You bested knights, warriors, soldiers... you resurrected Gritsnak and have now even survived death itself at the hands of a ghost. There is nothing that can stop you!” she told herself.

I'm getting the distinct impression that she's regretting nothing.

The tendrils lashed out and tried to hit Thesia away, but her hands grabbed onto two of them. The tendrils tried to shake her loose, but her grip maintained. She clenched her teeth and growled as her eyes began to glow a bright white, the spell initiating. The glow spread around her body, eventually reaching her hands. Missing Number slowly began to struggle less as the glow eventually spread into it, as well, the static pixels on its body slowing to a crawl.

How come this spell doesn't require you to awkwardly pause for a couple seconds?

“FORCED TRANSFER!” Thesia yelled, completing the spell’s casting.

These fucking spell names, man.

The effect was swift – much faster than Thesia had predicted. Missing Number shrank, its formless body being sucked into Thesia’s hands. It took only ten seconds for its entire body to be absorbed inside of her.

You sure that's a good idea?
Also motherfucker, if Evil Time Lord Thesia was born because she gobbled up fucking MissingNo. I'm gonna lose it.

She howled in pain for a moment as she collapsed to her knees, panting as she looked to the others. The static covering them faded within a few seconds and they began taking deep breathes [sic], blinking and looking around as if trying to get their bearings. Thesia took in a few depth [sic] breathes [sic] as the glow slowly subsided and, to her surprise, she felt no pain at all.

The deep breathes most deeply.

Indow was the first to go over to her and offer her hand to help her up. Thesia smiled and took it, her legs wobbling a little as she got up. She was still a little dizzy from the spell’s completion, but none the worse for wear.

That sure was anticlimactic.

“What did you do?” White Raven asked.

“A Forced Transfer spell.” She answered.

“That’s a Forbidden spell.” Indow said, albeit smiling.

“Indeed it is... and it did the trick.” She replied, giving Louis a ‘thumbs up.’

“What’s a Forced Transfer?” Lithmenar queried as he walked over, recovering the throwing knife that had been initially taken by Missing Number.

“It forces the built-up magicks within the body of one Sorcerer or Sorceress to be pulled into the body of another. It was forbidden because each person’s magical signature is different and trying to absorb another’s can cause irreparable damage to the body. The transfer itself is usually quite painful for the first few days.” Indow explained.

I'm sure absorbing a living glitch will have no side effects at all.

“And I surprisingly feel fine... fantastic, even, albeit slightly woozy from draining so much.” Thesia continued.

I think you guys might wanna start running before she goes all Zalgo on you.

“How’d you know that’d work?” Jordahn inquired.

“It was a hunch. I knew that creatures like that were not exactly common on this world, so there must have been some sort of magic influence behind it.” Thesia responded.

That's awfully convenient. And couldn't you have at first tried to dispell the thing?

Lithmenar winced. “But, wait, the only magical people here are you, Indow, and...”

Louis narrowed his eyes. “...And Varek.”

How is that a shocking revelation to you?

“Hello again, Linkara.”

Oh hi, Varek.
Did you wait for them to mention your name?

Louis twisted his body around and shivered. He had felt it before the last time it had happened, but he hadn’t paid much mind to it, assuming it was just a chill up his spine from seeing the water turn black. But now he knew it was a part of the transition of what was occurring.

"The transition of what was occuring"?

He brought his blades up and saw the silhouetted form standing on the roof of a small building. He ignored the second figure that stood beside him, since his eyes were focused entirely upon his enemy.

I'm sure the second bad guy deserves no attention.

Varek the Destroyer had once again shifted Louis into the magic sub-dimension.

Oh, so that's the "transition that was occuring". Not it all makes sense!
Didn't the first dimension shift happen so seemlessly you didn't notice anything? Now it always comes with a tingling sensation?

“Ready, boy?” he asked.

Louis glanced to his right and smiled as he blinked twice and Indow stood beside him, her eyes glowing yellow as she completed her own transition into the sub-dimension. He looked to his left and behind him, seeing that Indow had brought the others along. Louis pointed up at Varek and smirked.

“Let’s go!”

I think Varek's fucked as long as Indow cast anything but her worthless fireballs.

(And couldn't Indow bring the rest of the gang with her?)

Next Time: Round 2. Fight!

[BenComicGraphics]

wait until Lightbringer shows up....

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

[Le Redditeur]

The Lightbringer shows up, coatless and beaten up. "At least I taught that sonofabitch to not talk about ME, THE LIGHTBRINGER!"

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Book 4, Chapter 10 - The Way of the World II
(Or: Linkara Disarmed)



The fated rematch of our favorite rivals is upon us. Will Indow manage to defeat Varek?
Oh, and the other losers are there too, I guess.

Correction: I did not notice that last chapter did in fact confirm that Indow brought everyone along for the ride, not just herself. This will be one hell of a clusterfuck.

"Baddies Never Smile" Count: 21
And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

So everyone who got pixelized by MissingNo.'s naughty tentacles finds themselves in Angel Armor's typical mind battle arena - a fact which Linkara is reminding us with every other sentence, for the topography of a mind battle arena is apparently a universal constant.

They run into the mind representation of MissingNo., which is a creepy shota for some reason. It rambles on about how it is "incomplete" and needs to fuse with everyone to become "complete". They tell it to go fuck itself, so it starts using its iconic Water Gun move to hose everyone down, making this probably the lamest boss fight of the entire series so far.
Linkara suddenly decides that mind battles are gay and lame now, and does no longer want to indulge himself, so he just sits down on his ass and refused to do anything. Luckily for him this is the correct move to make, as MissingNo. can't compute this behavior and is just generally confused.

Sadly we never find out if Linkara's peaceful protest would've accomplished anything - because Thesia defeats MissingNo. in the real world all on her own using a save-or-die spell, with nothing that happened in the mind battle appearing to have had any impact on anything (aside from maybe making it more reactive and passive, but her finishing move required it attacking her anyways).


At least it was shorter than the last mind battle, I guess.

Now if you were hoping for an explanation for why Thesia is both super effective and resistant to MissingNo.: Get fucked, 'cause we don't even get the hint of an explanation.
The way she defeats it is also confusing and poorly explained: She used the forbidden Noncon Transfer spell to gobble up MissingNo.'s magic energy, and since it was all magic she effectively gobbled up the entire glitch Pokemon (which I'm sure won't have any negative consequences at all).

And then Varek pops out and does his pocket dimension thing on Linkara again - except this time Indow and those other losers follow them so I guess Linkara will get fewer rips broken this time.
Maybe the Dorkbringer also went along the ride, but I'm not entirely sure.

ChapterShow

“Darkbringer, at your leisure.”

The Darkbringer leapt down from the top of the roof and somersaulted twice in the air before landing on the ground gracefully. Lithmenar went at him first, tossing two throwing knives in his direction. Darkbringer dodged the first two with ease and winced as he saw a third fly at him and graze the edge of his shoulder. Darkbringer brought his hands up and balled them into fists, firing a burst of black energy straight at Lithmenar. Indow leapt into the path of the beam and brought her hands up, yelling “PROTECTION!” just as the beam reached a few feet in front of her. The magic shield blocked the attack, much to Darkbringer’s anger.

Louis ignored Varek’s compatriot completely and flew right at him, letting loose a battle roar at him. Varek brought his sword up and prepared to strike at him when he got in range, but Louis moved far quicker than he had anticipated and deflected the attack with his left blade, allowing the right to punch forward towards his face. Varek winced and dodged to the side, rolling away for a moment before he got to his feet. Louis retracted the blades back into his armor and simply flew at Varek again, who dodged to the right and tried to swing at Louis’ back. However, thanks to being in the air, Louis managed to twist his body completely around and catch the blade of Varek’s sword.

Varek winced as Louis pushed the sword back against him, fighting Varek’s hold over it. Louis felt the sword scraping at the cloth of his gauntlet and while in the past he might’ve feared that the blade would easily pierce it and cut into his skin, he trusted his armor and knew that the sword wouldn’t even come close to penetrating it. As such, he simply pushed back with all his might and released, catching Varek by surprise and punching him across the face. Varek fell back, his face grimacing as he realized Louis had fully recovered from not only his previous battle with him but also with the recent encounter with the static creature.

“Not so tough now, are we, asshole?!” Louis proclaimed with a grin.

“Impertinent whelp!” Varek yelled as he got back to his feet and aimed his hand at Louis.

Varek sent out a torrent of black lightning from his hands at Louis, knocking him into the building across the street and making a sizeable indentation in the wall. He groaned for a moment in pain and opened his eyes, seeing Varek fly right at him with his sword poised to stab him. He immediately dropped himself out of the hole and let his wings take care of the rest, catching an updraft and flying back up to meet Varek. His blades extended out as he swiped at the Destroyer.

Varek blocked the attacks as he led Louis back to the rooftop, hoping to force him to the ground. He knew Louis had the advantage in the air, but he hoped he had the greater advantage on solid ground, where he could use-

“VAREK!”

Varek swung around and winced as a red, armored fist swung at him and landed right in the middle of his face. He winced for a moment, his vision blurred. He blinked a few times and regained his composure, opening his eyes wide in shock as he beheld the form of who had punched him. Thesia smiled and pulled out her red-hilted sword, aiming the blade at her former partner.

“You!” he snarled in both surprise and anger.

“Me.” She replied with a smirk.

Louis crossed his arms and grinned as he hovered above Thesia, looking over at Varek with a similar smug expression on his face.

“Well, well, well!” he said, looking from one to the other. “It seems you two have a lot of catching up to do.”

“You were killed! The ghost Priest slashed you across your chest and face!” Varek stated as his grip tightened on his sword.

“It seems destiny decided I was needed for something else, oh Destroyer! Shall I kill you in the same manner and see if destiny is as fond of you as it is with me?” she asked with a laugh.

Varek lowered his sword and closed his eyes. “Unnecessary.”

He then reopened them, his eyes covered entirely in blackness.

“We’ll just see if destiny cares to save your life once again!”

The rooftop beneath Thesia exploded up as black tentacles wrapped around her body, pulling her down into the building. Louis cried out her name and tried to reach for her, but Varek rushed at him and slammed his shoulder into Louis, forcing him down against the neighboring roof.

Meanwhile, the others were having a hard enough time trying to hold back the Darkbringer. After first repelling the energy he had sent at them, trying to fight against him in other manners proved difficult at best. Magic and arrows that were flung in his direction were blocked in the same manner as Indow had stopped his attack on Lithmenar – a magic shield, in this case a Chaos Shield spell. Jordahn rushed at him axe in hand and swung it at him, but he nimbly dodged every single blow that was sent his way.

Finally, he grew bored of simply dodging and rammed the palm of his gloved hand against Jordahn’s stomach, knocking her back twenty feet and into a wall. Lithmenar and White Raven moved in next, Lithmenar slicing and cutting while dodging the Darkbringer’s own kicks and punches. White Raven simply moved around the two lithe figures, trying to send arrows at the Darkbringer and put him off-balance enough for either Lithmenar or herself to make a killing blow. However, he seemed perfectly adept at deflecting the arrows when they came in close while still evading every attack Lithmenar tried to make on him. Eventually, he simply caught an arrow and plunged it into Lithmenar’s shoulder.

White Raven gasped in horror, allowing for Darkbringer to grab the injured thief and toss him towards her as if he weighed nothing at all, knocking the both of them down. Darkbringer then turned his attentions at Indow, firing another burst of black energy at her. Indow fired back with a slew of fireballs, breaking up the energy before it could reach her.

Back on the other roof, Louis groaned and got himself up again only to be met by Varek’s foot. Varek brought his sword up and swung down at Louis, but he rolled out of the way and jumped up, trying to gain flight again. Varek aimed his free hand at Louis and fired a burst of black energy at him, hitting him squarely in the back and sending him back to the ground.

“You pretentious worm! You would cloak yourself in the garb of an angel and deceive the world, wouldn’t you?” Varek asked.

“I wasn’t the one who deceived people, Varek, your so-called God did that!” Louis retorted, getting back up and turning to face Varek.

His wings melted back into the rest of his armor as he brought up his blades in a defensive posture. Varek readied his sword in a similar posture, slowly moving to circle around Louis. Louis moved his own body so he was always facing Varek, not wanting him to suddenly attack his backside. However, whenever he had an opportunity, he’d glance back at the Darkbringer and ensure that Indow and the others were keeping him occupied.

“The Darkness promised peace throughout the world if only people would see his shadowed greatness and his philosophy. Why did your kind always have to reject him?” Varek queried.

“The Darkness taught people to reject joy, love, happiness! You must live in a very depressing world if you want to reject something as simple as a smile.” Louis answered.

Louis made the first move. The last time he had tried to let Varek make a mistake, it had ended him up with a broken body so he figured he had to power on through. As such, he tried for a maneuver of swinging one blade after another, forcing Varek to continually block his frontal assaults while keeping the rest of him open. Once Louis felt he had an opening, he kicked Varek in the thigh, forcing him down to one knee. Louis swung his right arm at Varek, the blade aimed for the middle of his head. Varek ducked out of the way and punched Louis in the stomach, hitting the armor and causing an electrical discharge. However Varek ignored the pain and merely tried to put enough force in the attack to push Louis back. It succeeded, Louis taking several steps back and coughing from the force of the blow.

“Happiness is a crutch. When one has joy, it pacifies them into only attempting to be at ease. There’s no patriotism, no sacrifice... nothing that will make someone stand up and do what needs to be done!” Varek growled.

Varek charged in and swung his sword towards Louis’ side. Louis spun himself to face the oncoming sword and blocked with both of his blades, trying to force the sword back against Varek.

“And no pride? No pleasure out of what one does? A life without happiness is just emptiness! Even through all the terrible things I’ve experienced, I know that I had fun through most of it and nothing can take that away from me.” Louis responded as his blades scraped against Varek’s sword.

Louis jumped up away from the sword, allowing Varek’s swinging to continue and throw him off-balance. While he didn’t get close enough to make a deep cut, he did slice his blade across Varek’s face, cutting skin-deep. Varek brought his hand up to feel the bleeding cut as Louis landed, spinning to face Varek and grinning widely.

Varek narrowed his eyes at his opponent. “Ah, there it is... the moral decay of your world seeping through. I had heard such wondrous things about your world, Linkara, but I can see it for what it really is. You speak of fun? If an event is painful or tragic for people, there is no fun in that! You have enjoyed yourself?! You enjoyed stripping the Dark Knights of everything they believed in?! There is the truth of it, Linkara! Your world takes joy from pain and torment! You’re sadistic, every single one of you.”

Louis was about to respond when Varek quickly plowed his shoulder into Louis’ chest, forcing him to the ground. Varek got on top of him and slammed his fist against Louis’ face twice as he struggled to force him off. Varek finally got off on his own power, but kicked Louis in the stomach twice hard, the electrical response actually lessening each time he hit him.

“The Darkbringer told me all about it. You cluster around boxes to watch people be humiliated or harmed and laugh at it all. You gossip in your papers about your leaders and your celebrities, trying to chop away at them until they are destroyed in the eyes of history. And then, when you’re all done, you sit back and laugh, always smiling. The inhumanity of it all is disgusting. Your religions promise salvation when all they take is your freedom. The Darkness offered us true freedom to see and to understand. Those that were worthy made their choice and became something greater.”

Varek spoke to Louis, each sentence beginning with him slamming his armored foot into some part of Louis. Louis struggled to get up, but his body was aching and Varek had made several hard kicks to his face and one to his neck. The only thing that allowed him to survive was the enhanced strength the armor provided, but it wasn’t much protection as Louis felt his own willpower starting to fade.

“And Sin was much like this world once. We may not have had your technological mastery, but the situations are the same – religions taking advantage of people like you, praising your wickedness while people enjoy the torment of their fellows. But the Darkness showed the world the right way. It offered them the chance to become greater than they were, to reject wickedness and temptation, and live without the laughing, smiling evil that the problem stemmed from.”

Louis coughed up some blood and glared up at Varek. “And killed anyone who disagreed with you!”

“Your Linkaran order had already declared war a millennium ago when your seer foretold of the Darkness’ coming. On top of that, your existence is an evil one that would never have stopped being blinded by light and trying to destroy us. That’s the truth, you know that? You surround yourself in light, hoping its radiance will blind you from the pit you have dug for yourselves. Darkness is the world’s natural state. Anything else is a perversion.”

Varek brought his foot down onto Louis’ chest. To his surprise, the electrical defense of the armor was not blasting into the metal greaves. Varek lifted his sword over his head.

“And if it had not been for your vile treachery, attacking the Darkness when you were an honored guest, the war would have been won by him, Linkara. The Darkness was right and proved his righteousness by continual victory in battle. And now, I give you another example of our might, so that you may one day realize your folly.”

Varek brought his sword down right at Louis’ left shoulder, cutting straight through and removing the arm completely. Louis’ body lurched up and no sounds came out of his throat as his eyes widened. The armored parts of it vanished in a puff of smoke and Varek got off of Louis’ chest, aiming his hand down at the dismembered limb and firing a blast of black energy down at it. The arm vaporized within two seconds and Varek merely floated into the air.

“Consider your convictions, Linkara, and see if they are as strong now as they were before.” He spoke.

He called to the Darkbringer, who was still clashing with Indow. The two had been having an exchange of magic attacks, usually small things like Fireballs or dark bolts, but as soon as Varek called to him, the Darkbringer stood, bowed to Indow and jumped up to meet his lord. He swung on anything he could find, using complex agility and leaping as opposed to flying as Varek did.

Indow chose not to pursue, levitating up to Louis and gasping as she saw the blood exiting his shoulder. She landed on the roof and ran to him, already beginning to cast spells to heal up the injury. She looked around for his arm, hoping she could reattach it, but she winced as she didn’t see it. As such, she focused her attentions on sealing up the injury directly. Louis slowly turned his head to where his left shoulder had been, his body shivering as beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. His armor was beginning to shrink and revert back into the gauntlet, melting away as it was a candle left in the hot sun. Louis’ pupils shrunk quickly.

If not for the fact that he was still in the magic sub-dimension, his scream would’ve been heard miles away.

RiffingShow

“Darkbringer, at your leisure.”

The Darkbringer leapt down from the top of the roof and somersaulted twice in the air before landing on the ground gracefully.

Who's this showboating supposed to impress? All the actually dangerous opponents can fly.

Lithmenar went at him first, tossing two throwing knives in his direction.

Darkbringer dodged the first two with ease and winced as he saw a third fly at him and graze the edge of his shoulder.

I think you're fucked, mate.

Darkbringer brought his hands up and balled them into fists, firing a burst of black energy straight at Lithmenar. Indow leapt into the path of the beam and brought her hands up, yelling “PROTECTION!” just as the beam reached a few feet in front of her. The magic shield blocked the attack, much to Darkbringer’s anger.

I see you have absolute faith in Lithmenar's ability to dodge this attack.
And is anyone else starting to get annoyed that these lame af spell names are always shouted in all caps?

Louis ignored Varek’s compatriot completely and flew right at him, letting loose a battle roar at him.

I'm sure that attitude won't bite him in the ass later.

Varek brought his sword up and prepared to strike at him when he got in range, but Louis moved far quicker than he had anticipated and deflected the attack with his left blade, allowing the right to punch forward towards his face.

Is there any rhyme or reason behind which of you is actually faster than the other one?

Varek winced and dodged to the side, rolling away for a moment before he got to his feet. Louis retracted the blades back into his armor and simply flew at Varek again, who dodged to the right and tried to swing at Louis’ back.

Why are you retracting your blades?

However, thanks to being in the air, Louis managed to twist his body completely around and catch the blade of Varek’s sword.

Ah, I get it. You wanted some awkward blade catch scene. Good for you.

Varek winced as Louis pushed the sword back against him, fighting Varek’s hold over it.

Just wanted to point out that this is the third wince in a single page.

Louis felt the sword scraping at the cloth of his gauntlet and while in the past he might’ve feared that the blade would easily pierce it and cut into his skin, he trusted his armor and knew that the sword wouldn’t even come close to penetrating it.

Why did you fear this in the past, and why aren't you doing it anymore now?
Also afaik this is the only weapon that has scored a confirmed armor pierce against your armor in the entire series. You should be concerned.

As such, he simply pushed back with all his might and released, catching Varek by surprise and punching him across the face.

If you suddenly release your hold on the blade, shouldn't it hit you in the face?

Varek fell back, his face grimacing as he realized Louis had fully recovered from not only his previous battle with him but also with the recent encounter with the static creature.

He didn't really do much of anything in that kaiju battle. And shouldn't you be aware of healing magic?

“Not so tough now, are we, asshole?!” Louis proclaimed with a grin.

I might be more impressed if you actually landed a hit with your armblades.
Also stop being such a smug asshole. Remember what happened last time?

“Impertinent whelp!” Varek yelled as he got back to his feet and aimed his hand at Louis.

Varek sent out a torrent of black lightning from his hands at Louis, knocking him into the building across the street and making a sizeable indentation in the wall.

Cool. I was wondering if the Dorkbringer was the only one who would blast the shit out of people.

He groaned for a moment in pain and opened his eyes, seeing Varek fly right at him with his sword poised to stab him. He immediately dropped himself out of the hole and let his wings take care of the rest, catching an updraft and flying back up to meet Varek. His blades extended out as he swiped at the Destroyer.

Does anyone else picture some DBZ-style shouting here?

Varek blocked the attacks as he led Louis back to the rooftop, hoping to force him to the ground. He knew Louis had the advantage in the air, but he hoped he had the greater advantage on solid ground...

How about going inside the building if you don't want him flying around? If you go to the rooftop you're just reducing the amount of shit that might get in his way.

... where he could use-

“VAREK!”

Varek swung around and winced as a red, armored fist swung at him and landed right in the middle of his face. He winced for a moment, his vision blurred.

(Note the double wince.)

He blinked a few times and regained his composure, opening his eyes wide in shock as he beheld the form of who had punched him.

"And I beheld the form that has punched me LIKE LIGHTNING!"

Yeah, I gonna stop with this. Maybe.

Thesia smiled and pulled out her red-hilted sword, aiming the blade at her former partner.

I'm glad you wasted your one free shot against him on a weaksauce punch.

“You!” he snarled in both surprise and anger.

“Me.” She replied with a smirk.

Louis crossed his arms and grinned as he hovered above Thesia, looking over at Varek with a similar smug expression on his face.

“Well, well, well!” he said, looking from one to the other. “It seems you two have a lot of catching up to do.”

Stop inserting yourself into their relationship drama.

“You were killed! The ghost Priest slashed you across your chest and face!” Varek stated as his grip tightened on his sword.

Nothing about this sentence will ever get explained, will it?
And I could get reminding her of her mortal wound if it was some gruesome shit like "He split your head open like a rotten egg!", but just listing off her various slash wounds sounds a bit autistic.

“It seems destiny decided I was needed for something else, oh Destroyer! Shall I kill you in the same manner and see if destiny is as fond of you as it is with me?” she asked with a laugh.

Varek lowered his sword and closed his eyes. “Unnecessary.”

Is the banter of you two lovebirds always this lame?

He then reopened them, his eyes covered entirely in blackness.

“We’ll just see if destiny cares to save your life once again!”

The rooftop beneath Thesia exploded up as black tentacles wrapped around her body, pulling her down into the building.

Oh, yes. It's been forever since we've seen the tentacle rape spell in action.

Louis cried out her name and tried to reach for her, but Varek rushed at him and slammed his shoulder into Louis, forcing him down against the neighboring roof.

Not so smug anymore, eh?

Meanwhile, the others were having a hard enough time trying to hold back the Darkbringer.

Niggas, he doesn't even have armor.

After first repelling the energy he had sent at them, trying to fight against him in other manners proved difficult at best.

Stick with throwing shit at him, then. That seemed like it could do the trick.

Magic and arrows that were flung in his direction were blocked in the same manner as Indow had stopped his attack on Lithmenar – a magic shield, in this case a Chaos Shield spell.

It's not like there's a difference between those two shield spells, except that one of them is apparently evil.
And does anyone else find it weird that the guy who didn't even know magic is real last week and who got chewed out by Varek for his reckless spell usage is the bigger spellcaster of the Dark Duo? I know it's because he's Evil Lightbringer, but still, make it make sense.

Jordahn rushed at him axe in hand and swung it at him, but he nimbly dodged every single blow that was sent his way.

Her axes are almost as worthless as Indow's fireballs.

Finally, he grew bored of simply dodging and rammed the palm of his gloved hand against Jordahn’s stomach, knocking her back twenty feet and into a wall.

And that's right, kids: She didn't leave herself open because she's a crazy, reckless bitch. Dude just got bored.
I know it's not easy to write a big-ass group fight, but the Dorkbringer is outnumbered 4-to-1. WTF are the other yokels doing that he has time to style on Gyaru Casca for fun?

Lithmenar and White Raven moved in next, Lithmenar slicing and cutting while dodging the Darkbringer’s own kicks and punches.

Ah, I see you have some kind of tag team thing going on.
Is there a functional difference between "slicing" and "cutting" if you aren't actually landing any hits?
And what about his date rape drug? That one has always been the most consistent save-or-die attack whenever he can bother to remember that he has a seemingly endless supply of it.

White Raven simply moved around the two lithe figures, trying to send arrows at the Darkbringer and put him off-balance enough for either Lithmenar or herself to make a killing blow.

I know you guys are in love with your trademark weapons, but shooting arrows into a (no doubt) highly-choreographed animu CQC brawl sounds like a great idea to hit your own guy.
How about a backup weapon, like a sword? Or even just a pointed stick?

However, he seemed perfectly adept at deflecting the arrows when they came in close while still evading every attack Lithmenar tried to make on him.

This is the same guy who struggled dodging more than three knives mere moments ago. I guess his Ultra Instinct starts on a cooldown?

Eventually, he simply caught an arrow and plunged it into Lithmenar’s shoulder.

Not exactly how I predicted it, but it's still her fault.
Also this one could've easily gone into his neck instead.

White Raven gasped in horror, allowing for Darkbringer to grab the injured thief and toss him towards her as if he weighed nothing at all, knocking the both of them down.

For a battle-hardened valkyrie bitch with centuries of combat experience, you're pretty easiy to get into the Surprised Pikachu state.

Darkbringer then turned his attentions at Indow, firing another burst of black energy at her. Indow fired back with a slew of fireballs, breaking up the energy before it could reach her.

And the fuck have you been doing while all of this shit was going on? Certainly doesn't look like you've been charging up some big fuck-off spell.

Back on the other roof, Louis groaned and got himself up again only to be met by Varek’s foot. Varek brought his sword up and swung down at Louis, but he rolled out of the way and jumped up, trying to gain flight again. Varek aimed his free hand at Louis and fired a burst of black energy at him, hitting him squarely in the back and sending him back to the ground.

Linkara is pretty bad at observing the actions of his only opponent. It's like he's fighting similar to how DSP plays Dark Souls.

“You pretentious worm! You would cloak yourself in the garb of an angel and deceive the world, wouldn’t you?” Varek asked.

If you did some research, you'd know that Linkara doesn't actually like this whole messiah gig (outside of murdering people).

“I wasn’t the one who deceived people, Varek, your so-called God did that!” Louis retorted, getting back up and turning to face Varek.

I dunno. Dude was pretty open about killing just about everyone.

His wings melted back into the rest of his armor as he brought up his blades in a defensive posture. Varek readied his sword in a similar posture, slowly moving to circle around Louis.

One of you his holding his weapon, the other one has them stapled to his arms. How similar can your "defensive postures" be?

Louis moved his own body so he was always facing Varek, not wanting him to suddenly attack his backside.

As opposed to moving Varek's body?
Also I'm pretty sure it can be assumed that Linkara would take effort to keep facing his only opponent.

However, whenever he had an opportunity, he’d glance back at the Darkbringer and ensure that Indow and the others were keeping him occupied.

Why the change of heart? Up until know we kept getting reminded how much you're aggressively ignoring the Dorkbringer.

“The Darkness promised peace throughout the world if only people would see his shadowed greatness and his philosophy. Why did your kind always have to reject him?” Varek queried.

It's a bit hard to convert people if you're murdering them. Plus the Darkness itself pointed out most people are too "far gone" and had to die.
Not that it matters now, though. Dude can't really promise much of anything anymore. 'Cause he's dead.

“The Darkness taught people to reject joy, love, happiness! You must live in a very depressing world if you want to reject something as simple as a smile.” Louis answered.

Friendly reminder that the core philosophical point of contention here is "Smiling bad?"

Louis made the first move. The last time he had tried to let Varek make a mistake, it had ended him up with a broken body so he figured he had to power on through.

Going "Hulk smash!" has its own set of possible pitfalls, but whatever.

As such, he tried for a maneuver of swinging one blade after another, forcing Varek to continually block his frontal assaults while keeping the rest of him open.

"I have two blades. What if I first swing one blade, and then the other one?!"

Once Louis felt he had an opening, he kicked Varek in the thigh, forcing him down to one knee.

Louis swung his right arm at Varek, the blade aimed for the middle of his head. Varek ducked out of the way and punched Louis in the stomach, hitting the armor and causing an electrical discharge. However Varek ignored the pain and merely tried to put enough force in the attack to push Louis back. It succeeded, Louis taking several steps back and coughing from the force of the blow.

You should try stabbing with your arm blades. That should cut down on your startup frames.

“Happiness is a crutch. When one has joy, it pacifies them into only attempting to be at ease. There’s no patriotism, no sacrifice... nothing that will make someone stand up and do what needs to be done!” Varek growled.

Or people try extra hard to be done because they'd love to go back to being happy? You're like equating smiling with some kind of decadence, and it's kinda dumb.

Varek charged in and swung his sword towards Louis’ side. Louis spun himself to face the oncoming sword and blocked with both of his blades, trying to force the sword back against Varek.

You got knocked back. When exactly did your facing get misaligned so you had to "spin" yourself to face the attack coming straight at you?

“And no pride? No pleasure out of what one does? A life without happiness is just emptiness! Even through all the terrible things I’ve experienced, I know that I had fun through most of it and nothing can take that away from me.” Louis responded as his blades scraped against Varek’s sword.

"I had most of my fun killing people, btw."

And just three more pages. I'll just power through this dumb discussion...

Louis jumped up away from the sword, allowing Varek’s swinging to continue and throw him off-balance. While he didn’t get close enough to make a deep cut, he did slice his blade across Varek’s face, cutting skin-deep. Varek brought his hand up to feel the bleeding cut as Louis landed, spinning to face Varek and grinning widely.

You should jump more often. The people of Sin still don't know how to handle that move.
And WTF are you doing that you have to keep spinning around?

Varek narrowed his eyes at his opponent. “Ah, there it is... the moral decay of your world seeping through. I had heard such wondrous things about your world, Linkara, but I can see it for what it really is. You speak of fun? If an event is painful or tragic for people, there is no fun in that! You have enjoyed yourself?! You enjoyed stripping the Dark Knights of everything they believed in?! There is the truth of it, Linkara! Your world takes joy from pain and torment! You’re sadistic, every single one of you.”

I don't think someone nicknamed "The Destroyer" is in any position to moralize people over the evils of violence.

Louis was about to respond when Varek quickly plowed his shoulder into Louis’ chest, forcing him to the ground. Varek got on top of him and slammed his fist against Louis’ face twice as he struggled to force him off. Varek finally got off on his own power, but kicked Louis in the stomach twice hard, the electrical response actually lessening each time he hit him.

Where'd your sword go?

“The Darkbringer told me all about it. You cluster around boxes to watch people be humiliated or harmed and laugh at it all. You gossip in your papers about your leaders and your celebrities, trying to chop away at them until they are destroyed in the eyes of history. And then, when you’re all done, you sit back and laugh, always smiling. The inhumanity of it all is disgusting. Your religions promise salvation when all they take is your freedom. The Darkness offered us true freedom to see and to understand. Those that were worthy made their choice and became something greater.”

"Being dead or an emotional vegetable is objectively more righteous than gossiping and schadenfreude!"


Will Linkara ever bring up that Varek's a mass-murdering psychopath who has wet dreams about an even bigger mass-murdering psychopath, or will we continue to have this "deep" philosophical back and forth?

Varek spoke to Louis, each sentence beginning with him slamming his armored foot into some part of Louis.

Who else would he be speaking to?
And LMAO, those were like eight sentences. WTF are you doing, Linkara?

Louis struggled to get up, but his body was aching and Varek had made several hard kicks to his face and one to his neck. The only thing that allowed him to survive was the enhanced strength the armor provided, but it wasn’t much protection as Louis felt his own willpower starting to fade.

Remember when you could just no-sell punches to the face even without your armor? Good times.
Are you like Bane or something? Dude punched you in the face twice and know you're completely useless.

“And Sin was much like this world once. We may not have had your technological mastery, but the situations are the same – religions taking advantage of people like you, praising your wickedness while people enjoy the torment of their fellows. But the Darkness showed the world the right way. It offered them the chance to become greater than they were, to reject wickedness and temptation, and live without the laughing, smiling evil that the problem stemmed from.”

You're just keep ignoring all the genocides, are you?

Louis coughed up some blood and glared up at Varek. “And killed anyone who disagreed with you!”

That took way too long.

“Your Linkaran order had already declared war a millennium ago when your seer foretold of the Darkness’ coming."

But people only associated your Darkness with the Darkness from the prophecy because it acted just as advertised?
If the Darkness was so righteous, why did it go "Kill everyone!" from Day 1 and never tried to just start a new religion?

"On top of that, your existence is an evil one that would never have stopped being blinded by light and trying to destroy us. That’s the truth, you know that? You surround yourself in light, hoping its radiance will blind you from the pit you have dug for yourselves. Darkness is the world’s natural state. Anything else is a perversion.”

That's a lot of words to say "I'm right, you're wrong", but you do you.
You know, you're kinda reminding me of #complicit with your histrionic nonsense.

Varek brought his foot down onto Louis’ chest. To his surprise, the electrical defense of the armor was not blasting into the metal greaves. Varek lifted his sword over his head.

Hey look, he finally remembers he has a sword.

“And if it had not been for your vile treachery, attacking the Darkness when you were an honored guest, the war would have been won by him, Linkara."

He greeted him with an army of undead, started force-pushing everyone when his weaksauce attempts to convert him didn't go the way he liked, and he brainwashed his waifu.
And all of this before Linkara so much as laid a finger on the guy.

"The Darkness was right and proved his righteousness by continual victory in battle. And now, I give you another example of our might, so that you may one day realize your folly.”

Do you know that the only reason your beloved Darkness lost was because it insisted on Linkara being captured alive?

Varek brought his sword down right at Louis’ left shoulder, cutting straight through and removing the arm completely. Louis’ body lurched up and no sounds came out of his throat as his eyes widened.

LMAO. Did Linkara (the author) start reading Bleach or something?

The armored parts of it vanished in a puff of smoke and Varek got off of Louis’ chest, aiming his hand down at the dismembered limb and firing a blast of black energy down at it. The arm vaporized within two seconds and Varek merely floated into the air.

Oh, please. It will take Indow 30 minutes tops to grow him a new one.

“Consider your convictions, Linkara, and see if they are as strong now as they were before.” He spoke.

Are you just gonna leave Linkara alive for no reason?

He called to the Darkbringer, who was still clashing with Indow. The two had been having an exchange of magic attacks, usually small things like Fireballs or dark bolts, but as soon as Varek called to him, the Darkbringer stood, bowed to Indow and jumped up to meet his lord.

Have you two been play fighting or something? Why did you just spam trash-tier spells at each other?

He swung on anything he could find, using complex agility and leaping as opposed to flying as Varek did.

Are you unable to fly, or do you just think this makes you look cooler?

Indow chose not to pursue, levitating up to Louis and gasping as she saw the blood exiting his shoulder.

That's one way to describe bleeding like a stuck pig.

She landed on the roof and ran to him, already beginning to cast spells to heal up the injury. She looked around for his arm, hoping she could reattach it, but she winced as she didn’t see it. As such, she focused her attentions on sealing up the injury directly.

Here's hoping she doesn't try to heal him and fly him out of there at the same time.

Louis slowly turned his head to where his left shoulder had been, his body shivering as beads of sweat rolled down his forehead.

I'm pretty sure most of your shoulder is technically still attached.

His armor was beginning to shrink and revert back into the gauntlet, melting away as it was a candle left in the hot sun. Louis’ pupils shrunk quickly.

If not for the fact that he was still in the magic sub-dimension, his scream would’ve been heard miles away.

Next Time: I'm sure you're all looking forward to Linkara crying and moaning like a little bitch for one scene, but the next chapter is a... flashback?!

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Book 4, Chapter 11 - Back Through The Looking Glass
(Or: Oh, Sandra)



We interrupt our regularly scheduled Linkara pitty party for a flashback chapter. No doubt this will just highlight vital plot-related information and is not a retcon at all.

"Baddies Never Smile" Count: 21
And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

So the Dorkbringer has his first thrilling fight - and he's just wasting time.
No, really. That's his job. It has been established that Indow can just beam over an arbitrary number of people into Varek's little duel pocket dimension, so the Dorkbringer's job is just to keep everyone else busy so Varek and Linkara can have their dumb duel. And it's not even very exciting because the fellowship is deliberately incompetent in this fight, with not even Indow doing much besides spamming her most useless fireball spell that never actually does anything.
His distraction is not perfect, though. Thesia manages to get close enough to Varek to have some little relationship drama, but after a quick tentale spell from Varek she's removed from the rest of the chapter.

For whatever reason he's also obsessed with doing kewl acrobatics to get around, instead of just flying like everyone else with even a hint of magic in them. Pretty lame flex IMO.
Also I'm pretty sure he'll stop doing that by the time he shows up in the Lightbringer comic, mostly because flying is easier to draw.

The Varek/Linkara duel is your usual confusing mess. Linkara tries out new and exciting tactics like "Keep Varek in your line of vision" or "Use your two weapons to attack in sequence", but it is to no avail. After punching Linkara in the face the kid basically just crumbles and lets Varek kick the shit out him. He even cuts off one of his arms, but it's not nearly as exciting as the last beatdown because Linkara is too shocked to react until after everything is already over.
Also note that the automatic electric shock defense of Linkara's armor is acknowledged, but Varek just kinda ignores it.
And then Varek and the Dorkbringer just leave.


They don't kill him to sate their lust for revenge.
They don't move on to brutalize his friends for good measure.
Fuck it, he didn't even cut off Linkara's right arm, which would've opened the possibility of Varek stealing Linkara's precious gauntlet, which would've actually been some kind of lasting consequence. And no, Varek disintegrating the chopped off arm will do fuck all. I bet you 10bux that arm will have regrown by the time we see Linkara again.

This shit don't even make sense. Dude tried to kill Linkara last time, and now he just letting him cope and seethe even though he has him at his complete mercy?
Sure, just keep Linkara alive for no reason. That worked so well for your dead boss.

The two also had a "philosphical" back and forth throughout the fight, but it was mostly just Varek trying to gaslight Linkara by going "The Darkness dindu nuffin, I'm the real hero and you are the real monster!"
It's lame, histrionic nonsense that won't convince anyone who has actually read the first book, and I'm surprised Linkara is even trying to argue with him in the first place.
Then again, the real Linkara has had an e-mail slapfight with the most obvious troll for years, with no end in sight. I guess he just has to win arguments, no matter how dumb they are.

ChapterShow

Three Months Earlier...

Garik Chyprea picked up the sacred document before him and squinted at the foreign letters that covered its surface. It had been only a week since his daughter had left, along with the Linkara and his companions, to travel to Aigol in search of a way to Earth and he frowned, realizing that it was likely he wouldn’t see or hear his daughter for at least six more months. He sighed and put down the copy of the Linkaran prophecy, his thoughts taking him away from his religion and focusing on the remaining member of his family. There had always been long periods of time where he hadn’t seen her, but for some reason it was starting to hurt him more to see her gone.

He got up from the table where he had been working and journeyed out of the First Church of the Linkara, stretching out his arms and watching the sun begin to set on the horizon. The sun was rising in the distance, casting the nearby forest into an orange hue. Varek sat on the steps of the church, watching the sun rise as he rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t slept in two days, his mind bringing up the image of Indow any time he shut his eyes.

Garik’s dreams were always of his daughter, of past times of joy and the regrets he had when he was harsh with her. He could in particular remember several months past when he had been informed that in order to pay for accommodations at an inn, she worked at a Warrior’s Rest as an entertainer. While the sect of the Linkara that existed in the Five Lands was by no means a Purist sect, it was still considered the height of scandal and taboo for Linkaran Priests and Priestesses to be engaged in such behavior. Sex was fairly regulated as something that happened between those that worked within the Church itself, and even then it was only husband and wife that engaged in such things. Garik had been quick to temper upon learning of his daughter’s activities, and he feared that if not for Louis’ intervention, he might have killed her.

Later, his daughter had been raped by Myrrha. Upon learning of this, Garik almost killed himself then and there, believing it to be some form of divine punishment for what he had tried to do. His better senses kept him from resorting to such a thing, knowing instead that his daughter needed him, so he hurried to her aide as quickly as he could.

He had tried to throw himself into his work of translating the Linkaran prophecies in recent days, but it hadn’t helped. In truth, he hadn’t spoken with the other translators for quite a while, shutting himself off in private study. For all he knew, they had already deciphered it and just hadn’t bothered to tell him. Knowing that he would get nothing accomplished by merely wallowing in self-pity, he stood and reentered the church, hoping to get some breakfast before he resumed his work.

“Have you seen this?! In the next few months, the entire world could change!”

Garik sat down at the table as various Priests and Priestesses began to set the dining area for the breakfast of the visiting translators. The latest newspaper for the week had arrived an hour ago and the translators were all ecstatic by the news it carried. Garik hardly paid attention to the paper and it was growing difficult for him to focus due to his lack of sleep, so he wasn’t sure what exactly they were talking about.

“Yeah, I know exactly what it means – an economic collapse for boats and horses, is what.”

Garik grumbled lightly as he looked from one translator to the next, not able to discern any unique features about the group. He had only met a few of them when the first group had arrived, envoys sent by the King of Ai when he had learned of the other Linkaran prophecies. While the King was not a follower of the religion, he did believe that the Linkaran man had been a seer due to his predictions about the Darkness War and subsequently believed that the prophecies had some merit for predicting the future of his land. The second batch of translators had arrived a day before and Garik had yet to meet them. They had been ones from the next nearest city who offered their services for a fresh look at the documents.

“That’s not necessarily true, you know. We still have ships venturing out into unexplored waters and this won’t change that.”

“Yeah, but then some overbearing sea captain is going to discover an island and suddenly that land will have one of these devices installed.”

“Which is going to require ships to transport the raw materials there in the first place! And as for horses, they’re currently only proposing to install them in large cities, like the capitols of each land. There will be plenty of areas that still need to be reached by horses. On top of that, horseback riding and racing is still a legitimate sport, especially for noble houses.”

“I’m sorry, I overslept, what’s going on?”

Garik looked up from the table, his eyes widening as he beheld the woman who had approached the table. She had long blonde hair that shimmered when the light of the rising sun hit it and her skin was the color of fresh milk. She sat down as one of the other translators slid a newspaper over to her. She quickly picked it up and read its contents in a hurry, a skill acquired thanks to her work.

“A device that will allow Teleportation Vortices directly between cities?” she asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

One of the other translators nodded. “They’ve been testing the device for some time now on animals. They’ve been able to transport them the total distance between two cities and are ready to start implementing them for complete human testing and transport within a month.”

Another translator grumbled. “And I’ve been pointing out how this is going to damage the market of other businesses.”

“Perhaps it will, but it’s an extraordinary idea! Wait, what prevents one land from sending an entire army through the device and invading a neighboring land?” the woman asked.

“Several things. For one, the device requires both an input device and an output device, both of which are rather small. While, theoretically, if one kept the portal open for a longer period of time, they could send vast amount of troops into it, however that’s not likely to happen because of how the device is operated. They need at least three Magi-level magic users operating the device on either end, supplying the needed magical fuel into the device. Proposals for interland use have already decided that the Mages that would be selected for operating the device would be hand picked by the royal family of whatever land the device was in and completely loyal and trustworthy to their respective kingdom. No invasion could go through without their knowledge or prevention.”

“I’m sorry, who might you be?” Garik asked, looking at the blonde woman.

The woman looked up at Garik and smiled, bowing her head respectfully. “My name is Osandra. You are the High Priest of the church, are you not? I haven’t had a chance to meet you yet.”

“Garik, fair lady.” He said, smiling.

*

For the first time in a long time, Garik slept peacefully. He had spent the day with Osandra, sharing with her his theories about the Linkaran text as she explained her own ideas about the best ways to translate the strange language it had been written in. He was captivated by her, finding a kindred spirit and friend who shared many of his own political and religious beliefs.

Osandra had come from a traditional upbringing in the Ai noble house of Qerik, one of the lesser great houses, but with it came with enough privilege to make her life a comfortable on. While many in her family had begun to ready themselves for a full war against the Darkness and committing themselves to the task, Osandra had instead taken a route more on the educational side of life, opting to study different languages and how to translate codes. She had been temporarily in the employ of the military when it was believed that some of the codes the Dark Knights used for combat messages had been discovered, but shortly thereafter the war ended and she returned to a life of teaching different languages.

Garik slept that night for over eighteen hours, needing a long rest after the lengthy amount of time he had gone without normal rest. Osandra was kind enough to take some dinner to him when he had finally woken up at eleven at night along with the newspaper from the previous day.

“So, what do you think of the Teleportation Vortex device, anyway?” he asked Osandra as he munched on some toast.

Osandra shrugged. “Oh, I don’t really know. I admit, I’ve never been fond of riding horses, it’s why I take carriages, but I’m not sure I like the idea of stepping into a small room and walking out of it on the other side of the continent. It’s a little unsettling.”

“Worse than that, consider what will happen if they install one of these devices on Aigol to here. Instantaneous travel between the continents.” Garik stated.

“It’s a little overwhelming... I feel as if the world is getting so small around me.” Osandra said.

Garik laughed into the air. Osandra raised an eyebrow in confusion, asking him what was so funny.

“Oh, only that I’ve heard people say that before, that the world is getting smaller. The world is much larger than people give it credit for.” Garik replied.

“What do you mean?”

Garik pointed at the wall of the church. “You see that wall? In order to build that wall, there needed to be a miner to excavate the rock it’s made out of. After that, there needed to be a craftsman who shaped the rock into its appropriate shape to be fit into that wall. Following that, there was an individual who had to create and combine the chemicals necessary to keep the rock from eroding too much over time or growing mold upon it. And when that person was complete with their liquid, someone had to apply that substance to the rock itself. Afterwards, someone had to ship the rock to this location so it could be installed in that wall. And with that, the wall was built with another person, some construction person. Do you get my point?”

Osandra shook her head.

“The world is an ever-complicated place, filled with large and different connections that no one regularly thinks about. There are thousands if not millions of wide and varying professions that no one may ever realize is connected to another person. The perception of the world is that it’s getting smaller because we’re getting better at communicating and traveling. The truth is that it only makes the world that much bigger.” Garik explained.

Osandra smiled and reached over, rubbing his shoulder. “Well, perhaps so, good sir, but of course we must always realize-”

Osandra stopped herself as her eyes got wide. “By the Linkara, I’ve figured it out!”

“Figured out what?” Garik asked, perplexed.

“The translation! I’ve figured it out!” Osandra stated, running out of the room quickly.

Garik rushed to his feet and began running after Osandra as she made her way towards the room where the prophecies were being stored. While the knights who normally took care of defending the original prophesies would’ve normally been guarding the documents, in light of the end of the war with the Darkness, they had been honorably dispatched form their service, returning to wherever they had come from. As such, the complex guarding system that involved testing the water of the individuals coming to see the scrolls had been discarded and now only two Priests stood with light armor and weapons in front of the doorway.

Recognizing both the translator and the High Priest, they opened the door for them and let them rush inside. Osandra went for the nearest scrolls, which were strewn about on a table with various language books beside them. Osandra looked to the initial writings and took a fresh piece of paper from a stack, setting it down and readying an ink pen. Garik rushed up behind her, gasping for breath from the sudden exhilaration.

“What... What did you figure out?”

“Bigger and smaller! It’s so childishly simple that I can’t believe I failed to figure it out before! It’s a matter of uppercase and lowercase letters. Go get me some fresh life giver; I think I’ll have a full translation of this document within an hour or two!” Osandra said with a laugh.

*

Three hours later, Osandra stepped out of the room with her translation in hand, her face downcast and upset. After the first hour of waiting beside her, constantly looking over her shoulder and breathing down her neck, Osandra had finally insisted that Garik leave the room so she could work in private. Garik had remained outside, however, determined to be the first one to read whatever it was that she had discovered. He winced as he saw her crestfallen expression, approaching her as the guards shut the door after she had fully exited.

“Is something the matter? Were you wrong about the capitalization?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No... I just finished the translation and read it.”

“Well, what’s wrong, then?”

Osandra handed off the piece of paper to him. The two began walking towards away from the chamber, Garik reading the translation as quickly as he could. The more he read, the more his face resembled Osandra’s in terms of her mood. After finally finishing it, he blinked and looked to her.

“But... But this... We’ll have the other translators go over it; there must be some sort of mistake!”

“I spent the last several minutes looking for errors. I found none. This is what the prophecies say.” Osandra replied.

The two had arrived at the front entrance of the church and they looked out into the nighttime sky, both shocked and horrified by what they had read. Osandra began crying and she leapt into Garik’s arms, holding him tightly. Garik frowned and held her in his arms, looking up at the stars as he thought of his daughter and wondered when she and the Linkara would return to the church. He was determined to prove the prophecy wrong. It went against everything he believed in and he knew that destiny could be cheated. After all, the original prophecy wasn’t certain of the Linkara’s fate, whether he would die or live on after he defeated the Darkness. While the new scrolls invalidated the death, there had been more inconsistencies with the scroll’s description of the Linkara’s actual journey from the prophesized one that they cast some doubt on them.

Garik swore to himself he wouldn’t allow this new revelation to come to pass.

He would not let the Linkara destroy the world.

RiffingShow

Three Months Earlier...

From whose point of view? This story features an evil Time Lord and two different dimensions where time passes at different speeds.

Garik Chyprea picked up the sacred document before him and squinted at the foreign letters that covered its surface.

Oh hi, Indow's dad. Are you gonna bless us with more prophecy nonsense? I can't wait to hear about it!

It had been only a week since his daughter had left, along with the Linkara and his companions, to travel to Aigol in search of a way to Earth and he frowned, realizing that it was likely he wouldn’t see or hear his daughter for at least six more months.

What? The sea voyage alone took at least two months. How little time did they spent on Aigol before fucking off to Earht?

He sighed and put down the copy of the Linkaran prophecy, his thoughts taking him away from his religion and focusing on the remaining member of his family. There had always been long periods of time where he hadn’t seen her, but for some reason it was starting to hurt him more to see her gone.

If you had kept a closer eye on her she might not have turned into a nymphomaniac.

He got up from the table where he had been working and journeyed out of the First Church of the Linkara, stretching out his arms and watching the sun begin to set on the horizon.

The sun was rising in the distance, casting the nearby forest into an orange hue. Varek sat on the steps of the church, watching the sun rise as he rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t slept in two days, his mind bringing up the image of Indow any time he shut his eyes.

Must feel bad being the only man on this continent that didn't rail her.

Garik’s dreams were always of his daughter, of past times of joy and the regrets he had when he was harsh with her.

Do understand that he's worried about his daughter yet?!

He could in particular remember several months past when he had been informed that in order to pay for accommodations at an inn, she worked at a Warrior’s Rest as an entertainer.

Friendly reminder that Indow is a slut.

While the sect of the Linkara that existed in the Five Lands was by no means a Purist sect, it was still considered the height of scandal and taboo for Linkaran Priests and Priestesses to be engaged in such behavior.

Well, it has never been a very prestigious profession.

Sex was fairly regulated as something that happened between those that worked within the Church itself, and even then it was only husband and wife that engaged in such things.

"We are not purists, but sex before marriage or outside of the clergy is strictly forbidden!"

And that's like the second explanation as to why it's a bad thing. Also it kinda sounds like a select few elitist families are ruling over the Linkaran faith with an iron fist.

Garik had been quick to temper upon learning of his daughter’s activities, and he feared that if not for Louis’ intervention, he might have killed her.

Does this branch of the Linkaran faith also have ceremonial daggers for such an occasion?

Later, his daughter had been raped by Myrrha.

The Rape Counter has increased (11 -> 12)

And will this chapter do anything more than just recap shit for the umpteenth time?

Upon learning of this, Garik almost killed himself then and there, believing it to be some form of divine punishment for what he had tried to do. His better senses kept him from resorting to such a thing, knowing instead that his daughter needed him, so he hurried to her aide as quickly as he could.

Stop trying to make everything about you, PUR Garik.

He had tried to throw himself into his work of translating the Linkaran prophecies in recent days, but it hadn’t helped. In truth, he hadn’t spoken with the other translators for quite a while, shutting himself off in private study. For all he knew, they had already deciphered it and just hadn’t bothered to tell him. Knowing that he would get nothing accomplished by merely wallowing in self-pity, he stood and reentered the church, hoping to get some breakfast before he resumed his work.

You're about as productive as Spoony. Lazy-ass mofo.

“Have you seen this?! In the next few months, the entire world could change!”

Is Zen Wikipedia becoming available for normies?

Garik sat down at the table as various Priests and Priestesses began to set the dining area for the breakfast of the visiting translators. The latest newspaper for the week had arrived an hour ago and the translators were all ecstatic by the news it carried. Garik hardly paid attention to the paper and it was growing difficult for him to focus due to his lack of sleep, so he wasn’t sure what exactly they were talking about.

Friendly reminder that they have newspapers that are effectively just like ours. And yet Varek bitched about the evils of Earth news media
Also JFC Garik, stop worrying in your misery and start paying attention to shit.

“Yeah, I know exactly what it means – an economic collapse for boats and horses, is what.”

Is the Off-screen Teleportation Network going global?

Garik grumbled lightly as he looked from one translator to the next, not able to discern any unique features about the group.

This sounds oddly racist.

He had only met a few of them when the first group had arrived, envoys sent by the King of Ai when he had learned of the other Linkaran prophecies. While the King was not a follower of the religion, he did believe that the Linkaran man had been a seer due to his predictions about the Darkness War and subsequently believed that the prophecies had some merit for predicting the future of his land.

What religion does he follow? We just keep getting reminded that he's not a Linkaran, but still more or less behaves like one.

The second batch of translators had arrived a day before and Garik had yet to meet them. They had been ones from the next nearest city who offered their services for a fresh look at the documents.

The "next nearest" city? Shouldn't you guys have already been in regular contact with them?

“That’s not necessarily true, you know. We still have ships venturing out into unexplored waters and this won’t change that.”

“Yeah, but then some overbearing sea captain is going to discover an island and suddenly that land will have one of these devices installed.”

Stupid overbearing sea captains leaving stupid Stargates everywhere...

“Which is going to require ships to transport the raw materials there in the first place! And as for horses, they’re currently only proposing to install them in large cities, like the capitols of each land. There will be plenty of areas that still need to be reached by horses. On top of that, horseback riding and racing is still a legitimate sport, especially for noble houses.”

Connecting all capitols in the world with each other? Surely nothing bad would ever come out of that!
Will the Neo-Terafellas and the assassin death cult also get a Stargate?

“I’m sorry, I overslept, what’s going on?”

Finally.

Garik looked up from the table, his eyes widening as he beheld the woman who had approached the table.

"And I beheld the woman who had approached the table LIKE LIGHTNING!"

I have decided to keep doing this until Linkara (the author) stops being so obsessed about this archaic verb. I came up like once in Book 3 when Lithmenar told his revised backstory, but now it shows up all the time in the regular narration.

She had long blonde hair that shimmered when the light of the rising sun hit it and her skin was the color of fresh milk.

Hey look. An (apparently) new character who is blonde. What are the odds ?

She sat down as one of the other translators slid a newspaper over to her. She quickly picked it up and read its contents in a hurry, a skill acquired thanks to her work.

I don't think speed reading is a skill that translators just pick up? Just try to speed read some ancient clay tablet with cuniform, I fucking dare you.

“A device that will allow Teleportation Vortices directly between cities?” she asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

Well, that was obvious enough to guess for an Angel Armor scholar like myself.

One of the other translators nodded. “They’ve been testing the device for some time now on animals. They’ve been able to transport them the total distance between two cities and are ready to start implementing them for complete human testing and transport within a month.”

• Who are "they"? The United Nations of Sin? Whatever the fuck the sorcerers call their little guild/organization?
• Who's bankrolling/greenlighting this? There's gotta be at least one ruler paranoid about enemy armies teleporting into his capital city.
• What makes this teleportation magic different enough from the regular teleportation magic that you have to resort to animal testing?

Another translator grumbled. “And I’ve been pointing out how this is going to damage the market of other businesses.”

I bet they had a Luddite like that around back when people discovered that you can ride on horses.

“Perhaps it will, but it’s an extraordinary idea! Wait, what prevents one land from sending an entire army through the device and invading a neighboring land?” the woman asked.

Finally someone willing to ask the hard-hittin' questions.

“Several things. For one, the device requires both an input device and an output device, both of which are rather small."

Define "small". It can't be both incapable of sending multiple people at once and able to teleport bulk cargo in such quantities that it threatens transport logistic chains as we know it.

"While, theoretically, if one kept the portal open for a longer period of time, they could send vast amount of troops into it, however that’s not likely to happen because of how the device is operated."

Do you need a loicense to be teleported?

"Proposals for interland use have already decided that the Mages that would be selected for operating the device would be hand picked by the royal family of whatever land the device was in and completely loyal and trustworthy to their respective kingdom. No invasion could go through without their knowledge or prevention.”

Bribe them, or send in the assassin and replace them with your own wizards. Either way, these three will be very juicy targets.

“I’m sorry, who might you be?” Garik asked, looking at the blonde woman.

The woman looked up at Garik and smiled, bowing her head respectfully. “My name is Osandra. You are the High Priest of the church, are you not? I haven’t had a chance to meet you yet.”

“Garik, fair lady.” He said, smiling.

"I am Osandra, and these are my colleages Ohimark and Heiyu!"

*

For the first time in a long time, Garik slept peacefully. He had spent the day with Osandra, sharing with her his theories about the Linkaran text as she explained her own ideas about the best ways to translate the strange language it had been written in. He was captivated by her, finding a kindred spirit and friend who shared many of his own political and religious beliefs.

What a touching love story.
And what are your political and religious beliefs?

Osandra had come from a traditional upbringing in the Ai noble house of Qerik, one of the lesser great houses, but with it came with enough privilege to make her life a comfortable on.

She's rich, but not too rich. Like lower upper class or something.

While many in her family had begun to ready themselves for a full war against the Darkness and committing themselves to the task, Osandra had instead taken a route more on the educational side of life, opting to study different languages and how to translate codes.

Do sorcerer-priests not educate themselves?

She had been temporarily in the employ of the military when it was believed that some of the codes the Dark Knights used for combat messages had been discovered, but shortly thereafter the war ended and she returned to a life of teaching different languages.

Why the fuck would the Dark Knights need an Enigma machine if they have long-distance telepathy?

Garik slept that night for over eighteen hours, needing a long rest after the lengthy amount of time he had gone without normal rest.

Lazy fuck.

Osandra was kind enough to take some dinner to him when he had finally woken up at eleven at night along with the newspaper from the previous day.

Shouldn't he have servants for this?

“So, what do you think of the Teleportation Vortex device, anyway?” he asked Osandra as he munched on some toast.

Osandra shrugged. “Oh, I don’t really know. I admit, I’ve never been fond of riding horses, it’s why I take carriages, but I’m not sure I like the idea of stepping into a small room and walking out of it on the other side of the continent. It’s a little unsettling.”

I thought people already used the short-distance teleport network all the time. Now it's freaky because the distances are bigger?

“Worse than that, consider what will happen if they install one of these devices on Aigol to here. Instantaneous travel between the continents.” Garik stated.

Not if the sailors' guild has a say in the matter.

“It’s a little overwhelming... I feel as if the world is getting so small around me.” Osandra said.

Not that it matters to you, bookworm.

Garik laughed into the air. Osandra raised an eyebrow in confusion, asking him what was so funny.

“Oh, only that I’ve heard people say that before, that the world is getting smaller. The world is much larger than people give it credit for.” Garik replied.

“What do you mean?”

Well, the regular sea trip between Aigol and this continent takes months.

Garik pointed at the wall of the church. “You see that wall? In order to build that wall, there needed to be a miner to excavate the rock it’s made out of. After that, there needed to be a craftsman who shaped the rock into its appropriate shape to be fit into that wall. Following that, there was an individual who had to create and combine the chemicals necessary to keep the rock from eroding too much over time or growing mold upon it. And when that person was complete with their liquid, someone had to apply that substance to the rock itself. Afterwards, someone had to ship the rock to this location so it could be installed in that wall. And with that, the wall was built with another person, some construction person. Do you get my point?”

I don't? This has fuckall to do with travel times.

Osandra shook her head.

“The world is an ever-complicated place, filled with large and different connections that no one regularly thinks about. There are thousands if not millions of wide and varying professions that no one may ever realize is connected to another person. The perception of the world is that it’s getting smaller because we’re getting better at communicating and traveling. The truth is that it only makes the world that much bigger.” Garik explained.

That's still very much comparing apples with oranges.
And I guess there is some truth to it for our modern society where some idiots are barely aware of where meat comes from, but a medieval society is like 90% farmers. Trust me, they will be painfully aware of every single artisan whose services they require.

Osandra smiled and reached over, rubbing his shoulder. “Well, perhaps so, good sir, but of course we must always realize-”

Osandra stopped herself as her eyes got wide. “By the Linkara, I’ve figured it out!”

“Figured out what?” Garik asked, perplexed.

“The translation! I’ve figured it out!” Osandra stated, running out of the room quickly.

I love you two continue and then interrupt discussions seemingly at random.
Oh wait, no. I find it annoying.

(10bux whatever she translates will spoil the rest of the book. Because stakes are for losers.)

Garik rushed to his feet and began running after Osandra as she made her way towards the room where the prophecies were being stored. While the knights who normally took care of defending the original prophesies would’ve normally been guarding the documents, in light of the end of the war with the Darkness, they had been honorably dispatched form their service, returning to wherever they had come from. As such, the complex guarding system that involved testing the water of the individuals coming to see the scrolls had been discarded and now only two Priests stood with light armor and weapons in front of the doorway.

"Get fucked, Creepy Smiling Knights! Your services of protecting our holy texts are no longer required!"

What a nice employer.

Recognizing both the translator and the High Priest, they opened the door for them and let them rush inside. Osandra went for the nearest scrolls, which were strewn about on a table with various language books beside them. Osandra looked to the initial writings and took a fresh piece of paper from a stack, setting it down and readying an ink pen. Garik rushed up behind her, gasping for breath from the sudden exhilaration.

You should exercise some more. Your stamina is terrible for a 200+ year old.
And shoulnd't she be using a quill or something?

“What... What did you figure out?”

“Bigger and smaller! It’s so childishly simple that I can’t believe I failed to figure it out before! It’s a matter of uppercase and lowercase letters. Go get me some fresh life giver; I think I’ll have a full translation of this document within an hour or two!” Osandra said with a laugh.

This sounds like an incredibly dumb stroke of genius, but whatever. Just give us the spoilers already.

*

Three hours later, Osandra stepped out of the room with her translation in hand, her face downcast and upset. After the first hour of waiting beside her, constantly looking over her shoulder and breathing down her neck, Osandra had finally insisted that Garik leave the room so she could work in private.

Sounds like some kind of sexual harassment.

Garik had remained outside, however, determined to be the first one to read whatever it was that she had discovered. He winced as he saw her crestfallen expression, approaching her as the guards shut the door after she had fully exited.

“Is something the matter? Were you wrong about the capitalization?” he asked.

"The Giants will win the Super Bowl."

She shook her head. “No... I just finished the translation and read it.”

“Well, what’s wrong, then?”

"Evan Almighty will be a boxx office bomb."

Osandra handed off the piece of paper to him. The two began walking towards away from the chamber, Garik reading the translation as quickly as he could. The more he read, the more his face resembled Osandra’s in terms of her mood. After finally finishing it, he blinked and looked to her.

“But... But this... We’ll have the other translators go over it; there must be some sort of mistake!”

"Have you remembered the punctuation marks?!"

“I spent the last several minutes looking for errors. I found none. This is what the prophecies say.” Osandra replied.

The last several minutes?! Then this shit is airtight!

The two had arrived at the front entrance of the church and they looked out into the nighttime sky, both shocked and horrified by what they had read.

I could understand shocked or horrified, but both? Wowzers!

Osandra began crying and she leapt into Garik’s arms, holding him tightly.

I know we all had high hopes for Epic Movie, but face it, lady: the movie's trash.

Garik frowned and held her in his arms, looking up at the stars as he thought of his daughter and wondered when she and the Linkara would return to the church.

I think in a few centuries from now.

He was determined to prove the prophecy wrong. It went against everything he believed in and he knew that destiny could be cheated. After all, the original prophecy wasn’t certain of the Linkara’s fate, whether he would die or live on after he defeated the Darkness.

There was like one fuzzy element in the prophecies, and suddenly you think these aren't infallible and always correct

While the new scrolls invalidated the death, there had been more inconsistencies with the scroll’s description of the Linkara’s actual journey from the prophesized one that they cast some doubt on them.

Like...?

Garik swore to himself he wouldn’t allow this new revelation to come to pass.

He would not let the Linkara destroy the world.

I'd love to see you try.
Also there's only place for one destroyer of worlds in my heart.

Next Time: We return to our regularly scheduled program.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Book 4, Chapter 12 - The Break I
(Or: Hurricane Linky)



I don't have high hopes for this chapter. Not only does "The Break" not imply a whole lot of things happening, but it's another back-to-back two-parter, and the last one was effectively filler.

Though I wonder what'll happen this time. Will the Dorkbringer teleport everyone into the Minus World of Super Mario fame? Or will he summon Sonic.exe?
Oh wait, that creepypasta didn't exist yet when this book came out - and that is a good thing, for I plan to use it in my inevitable Angel Armor x Lightbringer x At4W crossover fanfic. Because if Linkara is unwilling to continue his storyline, I'll have to do it. My way.

(I've also decided to put the Rape Counter back here, as it has increased twice during this book.)

"Remember when Indow got raped?" Count: 12
"Baddies Never Smile" Count: 21
And always remember: The Great Linkara refuses to accept Buddhism.

RecapShow

It's basically chapter 2.5 for Book 3 for some reason, and it's pretty much just dumb fluff that eventually arrives at the shocking revelation that the Almighty Prophecy (tm) has spoken once more and declared that Linkara will destroy the world.

I dunno why we needed these extra stakes at this moment when Linkara has just gotten his arm chopped off, and I highly doubt it'll actually mean much in the long run. Plus the book has already started to question the infallibility of the Almighty Prophecy (tm), so you kinda know nothing will happen (as much as I wanna see Sin crash and burn.)

As for the dumb fluff, it involves Indow's dad being a lazy fuck while everyone else is busy translating the prophecies. He gives us an unwarranted and spotty recap of past book events for some reason, and then all but immediately falls in love with some blonde translator waifu called Oh, Sandra O'Sandra Osandra.
Some inane words of wisdoms are exchanged, and Osandra suddenly has a breakthrough in her translation efforts centered on upper and lower cases.

I'm not a linguist, but I highly doubt shit works like this.
For starters you need a written language that has an actual alphabet, not glyphs like with kanji. And even then it's not guaranteed (the Latin alphabet spent centuries without lower cases at all).
More damning, however, is that you can't really hear upper/lower cases, so their inclusion shouldn't really have any actual impact on a sentence's meaning that can't already be derived from context (for say proper nouns).

We also get some exciting worldbuilding, like everyone gossipping about the Off-screen Teleportation Network going global and allowing everyone to instantly travel to any major city on Sin.
I guess it's kinda cool, though I can't help but feel that they've kinda skipped airships on their magical transportation tech tree.
I'm also not entirely sure what the point is, since we only have 55 pages left. Mayb as a setup to explain later how Character A has gotten to Place B so fast? Not that this really matters seeing how much faster time runs on Earth, but whatever.

ChapterShow

Alice, Ted, Trevor, and Mandy slowly walked into Louis’ house, not wanting to rush in despite the rain that was falling around them. Lithmenar led them into the kitchen, where everyone else
except Louis had been gathered. Most of the group was standing, their bodies leaning against counters or walls. One exception was Erica, who sat at the table, her head in her arms and lightly sobbed. The
other was Indow, who also sat but was not crying.

Alice was the first to ask the question that the four were wondering:

“What happened to him?”

Lithmenar frowned and looked over to them. “We... we encountered Varek and engaged him in battle. He had an accomplice who kept the rest of us distracted-”

“And some powerful magicks I haven’t seen before...” Thesia interrupted, rubbing her sore arms.

Her muscles ached as a result of battling the blackened tentacles that had grabbed her when she had attempted to help Louis. She had fought them valiantly, but they kept her engaged throughout Louis’ entire match with the Dark Knight.

“Louis took on Varek himself again and he seemed to be doing well at first.” White Raven explained.

“Just tell us what he did to him all ready!” Ted demanded to know.

“He... Oh, God!” Erica tried to speak, but could only cry loudly into her arms.

George embraced his mother, trying to calm her down.

“Varek cut off his left arm.” Jordahn stated, closing her eyes.

The four’s eyes went wide, taking in the news. They exchanged a few glances with one another and took in some deep breathes, their eyes shifting around a little as their minds comprehended the simple six words that Jordahn had said to them.

“Where is he now?” Trevor queried.

“Can we see him?” Alice asked.

“Upstairs, but he won’t see you. He went straight to his room and won’t see anyone.” Lithmenar answered.

Mandy looked over to Indow, her eyes shadowed by her long hair. She hadn’t spoken a single word since the group had returned to Louis’ home.

“But... You have magic powers, can’t you do something?! Can’t you reattach it or grow a new one?! Magic is supposed to be able to do anything!”

Indow seemed to ignore the question.

“Answer me!” Mandy yelled in frustration, glaring at the Priestess.

Thesia stepped up in front of Indow, glaring back at Mandy.

“It doesn’t work that way! If we still had the arm, we could reattach it, but Varek knew that. He destroyed the arm after he severed it. Magic is not some omnipotent force capable of anything; it is a science and tool to be utilized like the technology of this world.”

“Fat load of good it did with Varek!” Mandy yelled back.

“Who was helping Varek? Why weren’t you able to just plow through him and help Louis in his fight?” Trevor asked.

“That’s what I’d like to know!” Louis’ father asked, walking up from the kitchen counter towards Thesia. “The only reason we even let Louis out of the house was because we figured he’d be safe having you all around to help him! Where the hell were you when he needed you?!”

Jordahn stepped between John and Thesia. “We were fighting for own [sic] lives as well, you know! Even despite this, Louis shall arise stronger than before. He has the heart and spirit of a warrior unlike no other and I know he shall plunge his blade through the heart of the monster who did this to him-”

“And again there’s accusation that my son is a killer! I don’t know what kind of fucked up planet you come from, lady, but here on Earth, we don’t send teenagers to fight and kill in war [sic]!” John yelled.

White Raven tried to pacify the growing conflict: “Let’s try not to argue here. What we need to do now is help Louis-”

“You didn’t do a damned thing to help him when he needed you! He’s not going out again to deal with the monster you brought with you when you came from that planet of yours!” George stated, almost growling at them.

“‘That planet of ours?!’ Excuse me, but that’s the place I call home, you know.” Lithmenar interjected.

Ted smirked and pulled out a piece of gum from his pocket.

“Yeah, a fantasy land of magicks that aren’t helpful, people who send off children to fight and die in war, and people who sit in judgment of those around them. Gum?”

“Varek was right.”

Indow had spoken softly, but everyone had heard her. They all looked to the one Louis had been closest to since he had come back to Earth, despite his desire to be with his family again. The Anako Priestess stood, her fists clenched as she slowly looked from one member of Louis’ Earth-born friends and family to the next.

“I could hear everything he said to Louis as he defeated him. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t fight back his accomplice – I was distracted by the words. The problem is that everything he spoke was the truth. In many ways I knew it before I even came here. Louis mentioned the terrible things that had happened here in history, but he focused so much on telling all the glories and wonders of Earth that I ignored them, but I understand it now. The moral decay of this world is mind-numbing and I’ve been seeing it firsthand since I got here. I have seen it in the way your people view themselves...” she spoke, looking to Mandy.

“I’ve seen it in the way you destroy yourselves with your weapons that are more devastating than any spell I’m aware of.” White Raven said, glaring at John.

“You said it yourself, Mrs. Williamson – there are people who surrender themselves to philosophies that destroy their value as human beings and their freedom.” Lithmenar stated, looking at Erica, who had stopped crying, but looked sullen at the events unfolding before her.

Indow cleared away the hair from her eyes, showing their bloodshot state so they could tell she had been crying, just quietly.

“This is the perfect spot for the Darkness. People have become so mired in their ambiguities and self-defeat that they can no longer see any way to right themselves. If the Darkness began to offer freedom from that, people would line up from city to city trying to get what it offered to them. And the worst part is that no one would stand up and say, ‘This is wrong, I must do everything I can to bring down this evil’ because you have forgotten that there is evil in the world that must be opposed. The potential is there for greatness but it is wasted. Earth is in a Dark Age.”

“Only if people like you always make it into one!” Ted yelled, pointing at Indow and glaring at her. “I listened to you people sit in judgment of us and now it’s time you had a little of it, yourself!”

“Oh, this should be good.” Thesia laughed, sitting down in what had been Indow’s chair.

“Of course the world is imperfect. It’s harsh, it’s unfair, and it hurts sometimes. Do you know what you do when you realize the world doesn’t make sense? You force it to make sense. You suck down those cynic thoughts that you’re spewing at us and you tell yourself ‘It’s going to be better because I’m not going to let it get any worse.’” Ted spoke.

“Your optimism is misplaced, boy.” Jordahn stated, crossing his arms.

“Oh, is it? It’s not optimism, you thug. And don’t you glare at me like you’re doing now; it’s exactly what you are. You’re from a culture based around the honor of beating other people senseless. When Louis first told me about you and Kien society, I was almost elated – at last, a people who understand individual freedom to the point where people knew the need for life and aspiration for one person, who understood that ‘selfishness’ is about being concerned with yourself, not the negative connotation of being a greedy asshole, but now I can see that your way is only achieved by destruction.” Ted said.

“Arrogant toad, I should cleave you in half!” Jordahn growled, pulling her axe from her back.

Oh, we haven’t even begun!” Trevor stated as he moved forward, deciding to step up and offer his own opinions.

“And what have you for us, then?” Lithmenar asked.

“Only that I don’t see anyone here from Sin who has any right to judge me or the society that I grew up in! I think Ted goes a little whacko when he’s in Rand mode, but at least he knows where he stands!” Trevor replied.

Mandy nodded and crossed her arms. “Trevor’s right! Look at you people – you talk about how we’re mired in ambiguity and grey areas, yet I’m not seeing anything better on your end! The murderers who can’t decide what to do with their lives, the Prince who pretends to be a thief, the Priestess who-”

“SHUT UP! EVERYONE SHUT UP!”

Everyone turned their heads towards the kitchen entranceway and the hallway that connected with the front door. Louis stood against the doorway, glaring at them as he walked towards them.

“No, my love! It’s time I spoke my mind! The truth is hurtful, I know, but you need to understand the true nature of your world-” Indow tried to say.

Louis gripped his head with his remaining hand, his eyes clenched tightly shut as he took in deep breathes. “JUST SHUT UP! I’ve heard everything you’ve been arguing about and I can’t take it anymore! I feel like I could rip you all apart if I wanted to! I hate you all! I hate all of you fuckers and your damned pessimism and I just can’t take it all anymore! My arm’s gone and my armor’s not coming out right and- and...”

He began stuttering as he gripped his hair. Alice moved towards him, reaching for his arm.

“Louis, maybe you should head back to bed, we need to-”

Louis brought his arm away and sneered at her, his teeth grinding together as he looked back at her. “NO! It’s all too much! I... I can’t think, I can’t...”

“My love, she’s right...” Indow said.

Louis growled and looked back at Indow. “Oh, go to hell, you stupid bitch!”

The group gasped. The blood from Indow’s face drained away, leaving it to appear paler than before. She lipped the words “What did you say,” but did not speak them loudly.

“How dare you lecture me or anyone else about Earth and morality?! Little miss ‘I’m going to strip and whore myself out’ is going to give me a debate on ethics?!” Louis roared, his eye twitching.

“That’s enough, kid!” Lithmenar yelled, getting between Indow and Louis.

“Oh, suddenly the fucking thief is going to play hero! You’re even worse, you know that?! At least Indow can justify herself by saying she was trying to help me, but you? You’re just a greedy coward who ran away from home because mommy and daddy were mean to you and your girlfriend.” Louis yelled.

Lithmenar swung his fist and punched Louis across the face, sending him back against the wall. Lithmenar was fuming, barely holding himself back from pummeling Louis. White Raven approached and put her arm on his shoulder, trying to calm him down.

“We all need to lower our tempers for a moment, all right?! Louis is just tired from what happened.” She spoke.

“Oh, I’m very much awake and energized, and I’ve a good deal more to say, especially about you, Raven!” Louis said, rubbing his chin.

“That’s enough, Louis! Go to bed right now!” Erica commanded.

Louis just leaned himself against the wall and laughed. “Or what?! You’ll take away my computer?! You can’t even order me around any more, you know that?! You’ve been treating me different ever since I came back from Sin, like I was more mature or something. And the truth is I’m not a kid anymore! I haven’t been ever since I first killed a Dark Knight! And I’m glad I’m not! I’m not some whimpering child anymore! I’m- I’m...”

Louis took in deep breathes and winced in pain as he looked down at his armless left side. He quickly turned away and opened up the closet door, grabbing a trench coat. He began slipping it on as he ran out of the house, the others trying to follow after him. They called out his name, but he merely kept running as the rain soaked around him, the heavy drops obscuring him once he got far enough away. The group stood in the foyer of Louis’ home, slowly looking to one another. Indow stepped up to the front and walked to the front door, grabbing another coat from the closet and moving out.

“I... I need some time to think on my own...” she spoke softly, no one trying to argue.

White Raven and Thesia looked to one another and moved towards the door, as well.

“We need to try to hunt down Varek on our own. He’s probably stationary now because of the rain, it may be helpful.” White Raven explained as she ran out, Thesia following behind.

The rest looked to Jordahn and Lithmenar, who merely stood and blinked, not making a move towards the door.

“What are you looking at us for? I’m not going out while it’s raining.” Lithmenar said as he turned and walked towards the living room.

“Neither am I.” Jordahn spoke, heading into the basement.

*

It was all over for him, but he simply didn’t care anymore. Louis fell down in the street as the rain continued to let small drops of water descend and drench his form. The colder air would probably get to him next, he figured, but it didn’t matter to him. His optimism was dead now, torn from him like the left arm that Varek had sliced off. The images of how he had become handicapped in such a manner haunted his bewildered, traumatized brain. Some small part of him continued to keep searching for that small twinkle of light, the spark of optimism that would inspire him to do great deeds and be the superhero that he had convinced himself he was, but it found nothing.

It came to Louis, then, that his religious and philosophical ideals of free choice were self-destructive for him. He had chosen to go back to Earth instead of trying to stay on Sin to help the people there rebuild. He had chosen to engage Varek instead of fleeing or planning out a logical strategy other than being an arrogant, pigheaded teenager. And he had chosen to speak harsh words to his friends and family, the people he relied on for love and support. His attitude had cost him everything now and he didn’t have any hope left to call upon.

And so he simply allowed the rain to fall around and on top of him while he remained on his back. His eyes were closed, too tired to keep open and focused. It was too much for him all at once, so he just waited for the inevitability of his death to come. It was even more than a little saddening for him, since he knew he would never again see the people that he cared for, but at least maybe Varek would leave them alone. For the first time since he had begun his journey on Sin, Louis Williamson surrendered. It was the end for him, at last, and for a moment he even saw some clarity in everything he had done. Every snotty remark, every rude comment or boisterous outburst against what he considered right and wrong were judged, sentenced, and appealed in his mind, but it wasn’t for him to worry about anymore, since his battle was over.

All of a sudden, the rain stopped hitting Louis’ face. He slowly opened his eyes, confused, since he could tell that the rain was still pouring down everywhere else. With his tired eyes open, Louis could see a figure standing over him. Much to his surprise, it was the old man from the antique shop where he had first obtained the Linkaran gauntlet. He was holding an umbrella over both his own form and over Louis’ upper body. The man sighed softly and pushed back his glasses onto his face, shaking his head down at Louis. He then reached down, offering his hand to help the boy up. Louis considered it for a moment, wondering if it was worth it at all to try to keep on fighting, especially with all that happened.

Within a few seconds, his mind just shrugged and said ‘what the hell,’ and promptly allowed him to reach up with his right arm and get up alongside the old man.

“Come along, Linkara. You and I have a lot to talk about.”

RiffingShow

Alice, Ted, Trevor, and Mandy slowly walked into Louis’ house, not wanting to rush in despite the rain that was falling around them.

The nerd brigade is back, bitches! Because we don't already have too many characters with too little to actually do.
Will Ted hand out bubble gum again? I hope he does.

Also this is the first sentence of this chapter, and I'm already confused. If they're walking into the house that means they're standing in front of it. If they brought umbrellas with them it doesn't matter how slow they're moving, and if they've forgotten them they're already drenched and it doesn't really matter.
And that's not even going into whether or not this house has a porch, which it probably has though because every stereotypical suburban US house has one.

Lithmenar led them into the kitchen, where everyone else except Louis had been gathered.

Fuck Linkara. He'll have to cope on his own.

Most of the group was standing, their bodies leaning against counters or walls.

Are you trying to out-cool each other, or why is no one using the couch?

One exception was Erica, who sat at the table, her head in her arms and lightly sobbed. The
other was Indow, who also sat but was not crying.

Can't be that bad if she's only lightly sobbing. And shouldn't the catgirl help Linkara grow his arm back?

Alice was the first to ask the question that the four were wondering:

“What happened to him?”

They couldn't be arsed to tell you "Holy shit, Linky's got his arm chopped off!" on the phone?

Lithmenar frowned and looked over to them. “We... we encountered Varek and engaged him in battle. He had an accomplice who kept the rest of us distracted-”

Near as I can tell he was only reacting to your attacks. I mean, LMAO, nigga, just run past him when he's busy with other yokels.

“And some powerful magicks I haven’t seen before...” Thesia interrupted, rubbing her sore arms.

Oh please. The Naughty Tentacle spell already poppep up in Book 1.

Her muscles ached as a result of battling the blackened tentacles that had grabbed her when she had attempted to help Louis. She had fought them valiantly, but they kept her engaged throughout Louis’ entire match with the Dark Knight.

I know Linkara (the author) just wanted you in the battle so you could exchange some sweet nothings with Varek, but this is just lame. This chapter adds more detail to her non-contribution to the fight then the actual fight chapter.

“Louis took on Varek himself again and he seemed to be doing well at first.” White Raven explained.

"Then the author decided that he should lose, so Varek just started no-selling his armor's automated defense."

“Just tell us what he did to him all ready!” Ted demanded to know.

Chillax mate, and chew some bubble gum.

“He... Oh, God!” Erica tried to speak, but could only cry loudly into her arms.

George embraced his mother, trying to calm her down.

"Get a grip on yourself, mother! He never liked those piano lessons, anyways! He just didn't want to disappoint you!"

“Varek cut off his left arm.” Jordahn stated, closing her eyes.

The four’s eyes went wide, taking in the news. They exchanged a few glances with one another and took in some deep breathes, their eyes shifting around a little as their minds comprehended the simple six words that Jordahn had said to them.

I'll be amazed if this two-parter ends without him getting a new arm that is at least as good as the old one.
Though to throw this quality writing a bone, I'll at least be mildly surprised if this doesn't involve Indow or Thesia casting a convenient healing spell.

“Where is he now?” Trevor queried.

“Can we see him?” Alice asked.

“Upstairs, but he won’t see you. He went straight to his room and won’t see anyone.” Lithmenar answered.

You know, it kinda lessens the emotional impact of the whole situation if Linkara is already able to swagger around and pout in his little nerd cave.

And I fear someone will see him. This shit ain't over 'till Linkara has had a chance to REEE in impotent rage

Mandy looked over to Indow, her eyes shadowed by her long hair. She hadn’t spoken a single word since the group had returned to Louis’ home.

Is there a reason why we didn't get a chronological CliffNotes version of the events this time? Is it because this chapter is somehow centered on these tertiary muggle characters?

“But... You have magic powers, can’t you do something?! Can’t you reattach it or grow a new one?! Magic is supposed to be able to do anything!”

Indow seemed to ignore the question.

It seemed that way?

“Answer me!” Mandy yelled in frustration, glaring at the Priestess.

Thesia stepped up in front of Indow, glaring back at Mandy.

"Don't. Tell her. What to do."

“It doesn’t work that way! If we still had the arm, we could reattach it, but Varek knew that. He destroyed the arm after he severed it. Magic is not some omnipotent force capable of anything; it is a science and tool to be utilized like the technology of this world.”

Magic is only granted by all-powerful space gods.
And can turn you Super Saiyan.
Or give you infinite power.
Or let you make space and time your bitch.
Or potentially create a giant robot out of thin air.
Or definitely create life out of a glitch in an old Game Boy game.
But it's not a miracle, dammit! There are rules and limits!

“Fat load of good it did with Varek!” Mandy yelled back.

Mostly because someone just punched him in the face instead of blasting him with Eldritch power

“Who was helping Varek? Why weren’t you able to just plow through him and help Louis in his fight?” Trevor asked.

Lithmenar forgot his date rape drugs*, and Indow was too busy using her most useless spell instead of charging up one of her big fuck-off finishing moves.

*) I just searched for a bit out of curiosity, and the date rape drugs aren't even mentioned in this book.

“That’s what I’d like to know!” Louis’ father asked, walking up from the kitchen counter towards Thesia. “The only reason we even let Louis out of the house was because we figured he’d be safe having you all around to help him! Where the hell were you when he needed you?!”

O ho ho. The muggles are getting uppity now that Linkara isn't there to order them around.

Also I'd love to see you try to stop the Great Linkara from doing whatever the Great Linkara wants to do.

Jordahn stepped between John and Thesia. “We were fighting for own [sic] lives as well, you know! Even despite this, Louis shall arise stronger than before. He has the heart and spirit of a warrior unlike no other...

He certainly had bloodthirst like no other.

...and I know he shall plunge his blade through the heart of the monster who did this to him-”

“And again there’s accusation that my son is a killer! I don’t know what kind of fucked up planet you come from, lady, but here on Earth, we don’t send teenagers to fight and kill in war [sic]!” John yelled.

"Accusation" is a weird way of putting it. Didn't you have time to ask your son about it?

White Raven tried to pacify the growing conflict: “Let’s try not to argue here. What we need to do now is help Louis-”

“You didn’t do a damned thing to help him when he needed you! He’s not going out again to deal with the monster you brought with you when you came from that planet of yours!” George stated, almost growling at them.

“‘That planet of ours?!’ Excuse me, but that’s the place I call home, you know.” Lithmenar interjected.

Linkara has called it "shithole planet" since the first book, and I've never seen you complain about it.

Ted smirked and pulled out a piece of gum from his pocket.

He did it!

“Yeah, a fantasy land of magicks that aren’t helpful, people who send off children to fight and die in war, and people who sit in judgment of those around them. Gum?”

“Varek was right.”

"The Darkness did nothing wrong."

Indow had spoken softly, but everyone had heard her.

Pretty sure this isn't how things actually go during heated discussions, but whatever.

They all looked to the one Louis had been closest to since he had come back to Earth, despite his desire to be with his family again.

Nigga, he's had the least amount of interactions with them. He don't give a fuck.

The Anako Priestess stood, her fists clenched as she slowly looked from one member of Louis’ Earth-born friends and family to the next.

“I could hear everything he said to Louis as he defeated him."

They were fighting on the roftoop of a building (of unspecified height) while you were fighting on the streets (an unspecified distance away) right next to a cacophony of bursts, zaps and explosions (half of which were caused by you). How the fuck did you hear anything Varek was rambling on about? Did he scream every word at the top of his lungs?

"Maybe that’s why I couldn’t fight back his accomplice – I was distracted by the words."

She could've said her magic was weaker because she was on her period - which is canon in Slayers, btw - and it would've been less of a dumb cop-out.
Indow's like the most overpowered main character in the entire series. Don't come at me with this bullshit just because you didn't know how to write around it.

"The problem is that everything he spoke was the truth. In many ways I knew it before I even came here."

"The Darkness was the hero all along!"

"Louis mentioned the terrible things that had happened here in history, but he focused so much on telling all the glories and wonders of Earth that I ignored them, but I understand it now."

I mean, he used the Holocaust to try and win just about every argument in Book 1. I can see why you'd eventually filter that shit out.

"The moral decay of this world is mind-numbing and I’ve been seeing it firsthand since I got here. I have seen it in the way your people view themselves...” she spoke, looking to Mandy.

Moral decay? Your Alliance of Good (tm) had slaves, and you are personally okay with naked catgirl slaves as long as that's just part of a nation's "culture".

“I’ve seen it in the way you destroy yourselves with your weapons that are more devastating than any spell I’m aware of.” White Raven said, glaring at John.

Yeah, yeah. We have nukes and shit. Get over it.

“You said it yourself, Mrs. Williamson – there are people who surrender themselves to philosophies that destroy their value as human beings and their freedom.” Lithmenar stated, looking at Erica, who had stopped crying, but looked sullen at the events unfolding before her.

As opposed to Sin, which just has Basically Death Cultists, Literal Demon-Worshipping Warmongers and Thesia who just wanted to become a mass-murdering warlord because she had a chip on her shoulder.
Oh, also there's Peasantkicking, whose tyrant rulers go so far as to lace the water supplies with drugs just so they can be even more evil.

Indow cleared away the hair from her eyes, showing their bloodshot state so they could tell she had been crying, just quietly.

“This is the perfect spot for the Darkness."

That'd be Aigol, if you ask me. Place is fucking nuts.

"People have become so mired in their ambiguities and self-defeat that they can no longer see any way to right themselves."

"Ambiguities of self-defeat"?

"If the Darkness began to offer freedom from that, people would line up from city to city trying to get what it offered to them."

• The Darkness is dead.
• The Darkness tries to genocide most of the human population of Sin, and specifically pointed out it's because it thinks most people were "beyond saving" or some shit. It's weird how this book keeps forgetting this little factoid.
• No, that's not gonna happen. I don't care what the darkness would offer. People are very much attached to their emotions. Because hedonism always wins.

"And the worst part is that no one would stand up and say, ‘This is wrong, I must do everything I can to bring down this evil’ because you have forgotten that there is evil in the world that must be opposed."

Oh, they will very much start standing up once the Neo-Dark Knights start enacting their "Kill Everyone Else" plan.

"The potential is there for greatness but it is wasted. Earth is in a Dark Age.”

Well, I can't blame her for that conclusion with her sweetheart going on and on about anime and cartoons and shit all the time.

“Only if people like you always make it into one!” Ted yelled, pointing at Indow and glaring at her. “I listened to you people sit in judgment of us and now it’s time you had a little of it, yourself!”

This shit will just keep going until Linkara can finally be arsed to get out of his room, won't it?

(Conveniently leaving the whole argument without a proper conclusion for good measure, I assume.)

“Oh, this should be good.” Thesia laughed, sitting down in what had been Indow’s chair.

One more for the list.

“Of course the world is imperfect. It’s harsh, it’s unfair, and it hurts sometimes. Do you know what you do when you realize the world doesn’t make sense? You force it to make sense. You suck down those cynic thoughts that you’re spewing at us and you tell yourself ‘It’s going to be better because I’m not going to let it get any worse.’” Ted spoke.

The world being shit and not making sense aren't really the same thing.
What's with the recent push for weird words of non-wisdom that keep comparing apples with oranges?

“Your optimism is misplaced, boy.” Jordahn stated, crossing his arms.

You're acting like you didn't spend the better part of a year with the Great Linkara, God-Emperor of Optimism.

“Oh, is it? It’s not optimism, you thug."

"And don’t you glare at me like you’re doing now; it’s exactly what you are."

"You’re from a culture based around the honor of beating other people senseless."

When and how did you find out about Kien?

"When Louis first told me about you and Kien society..."

Oh, Linkara did. When? Inbetween crushing the rocks at the park?

"... I was almost elated – at last, a people who understand individual freedom to the point where people knew the need for life and aspiration for one person, who understood that ‘selfishness’ is about being concerned with yourself, not the negative connotation of being a greedy asshole, but now I can see that your way is only achieved by destruction.” Ted said.

They're dumb desert Klingons. Nobody forced you to project your hopes and dreams onto them so you could feel euphoric about your selfishness.

“Arrogant toad, I should cleave you in half!” Jordahn growled, pulling her axe from her back.

Oh, classic Casca. Always solving her problems with one of her axes.

Oh, we haven’t even begun!” Trevor stated as he moved forward, deciding to step up and offer his own opinions.

I know you guys are eager to prove your moral superiority to these filthy foreigners - but they're professional murderhobos. Don't poke 'em, is what I'm getting at.

“And what have you for us, then?” Lithmenar asked.

... eating an apple.

“Only that I don’t see anyone here from Sin who has any right to judge me or the society that I grew up in! I think Ted goes a little whacko when he’s in Rand mode, but at least he knows where he stands!” Trevor replied.

I wouldn't say that getting disappointed over Desert Klingons not being as cool as he imagined is "whacko". That's just autism.

Mandy nodded and crossed her arms. “Trevor’s right! Look at you people – you talk about how we’re mired in ambiguity and grey areas..."

What does that even mean?

"yet I’m not seeing anything better on your end! The murderers who can’t decide what to do with their lives, the Prince who pretends to be a thief, the Priestess who-”

“SHUT UP! EVERYONE SHUT UP!”

Everyone turned their heads towards the kitchen entranceway and the hallway that connected with the front door. Louis stood against the doorway, glaring at them as he walked towards them.

Called it. I'm glad this autistic conversation went nowhere, and that no lessons were learned.

“No, my love! It’s time I spoke my mind! The truth is hurtful, I know, but you need to understand the true nature of your world-” Indow tried to say.

>getting uppity at the Great Linkara

Louis gripped his head with his remaining hand, his eyes clenched tightly shut as he took in deep breathes. “JUST SHUT UP! I’ve heard everything you’ve been arguing about and I can’t take it anymore!"

Word, homie.

"I feel like I could rip you all apart if I wanted to!"

That's a weird way to phrase "Urge to kill rising", but okay.

"I hate you all! I hate all of you fuckers and your damned pessimism and I just can’t take it all anymore! My arm’s gone and my armor’s not coming out right and- and...”

And now it's time for the crying orgy we've been dreadening for two chapters now.

He began stuttering as he gripped his hair. Alice moved towards him, reaching for his arm.

“Louis, maybe you should head back to bed, we need to-”

Louis brought his arm away and sneered at her, his teeth grinding together as he looked back at her. “NO! It’s all too much! I... I can’t think, I can’t...”

Did you ever think?

“My love, she’s right...” Indow said.

Louis growled and looked back at Indow. “Oh, go to hell, you stupid bitch!”

The group gasped. The blood from Indow’s face drained away, leaving it to appear paler than before. She lipped the words “What did you say,” but did not speak them loudly.

“How dare you lecture me or anyone else about Earth and morality?! Little miss ‘I’m going to strip and whore myself out’ is going to give me a debate on ethics?!” Louis roared, his eye twitching.

“That’s enough, kid!” Lithmenar yelled, getting between Indow and Louis.

“Oh, suddenly the fucking thief is going to play hero! You’re even worse, you know that?! At least Indow can justify herself by saying she was trying to help me, but you? You’re just a greedy coward who ran away from home because mommy and daddy were mean to you and your girlfriend.” Louis yelled.

Completely unrelated clip.

Lithmenar swung his fist and punched Louis across the face, sending him back against the wall. Lithmenar was fuming, barely holding himself back from pummeling Louis.

White Raven approached and put her arm on his shoulder, trying to calm him down.

“We all need to lower our tempers for a moment, all right?! Louis is just tired from what happened.” She spoke.

“Oh, I’m very much awake and energized, and I’ve a good deal more to say, especially about you, Raven!” Louis said, rubbing his chin.

“That’s enough, Louis! Go to bed right now!” Erica commanded.

What are you? His mom?
Oh wait, she is.

Louis just leaned himself against the wall and laughed. “Or what?! You’ll take away my computer?! You can’t even order me around any more, you know that?!"

I mean, that's been clear from the start, but nice of you to confirm it.

You’ve been treating me different ever since I came back from Sin, like I was more mature or something. And the truth is I’m not a kid anymore! I haven’t been ever since I first killed a Dark Knight! And I’m glad I’m not! I’m not some whimpering child anymore! I’m- I’m...”

Another completely unrelated clip.

Louis took in deep breathes and winced in pain as he looked down at his armless left side. He quickly turned away and opened up the closet door, grabbing a trench coat.

A trench coat? What is this, 1930?

He began slipping it on as he ran out of the house, the others trying to follow after him. They called out his name, but he merely kept running as the rain soaked around him, the heavy drops obscuring him once he got far enough away.

Can't touch this.

The group stood in the foyer of Louis’ home, slowly looking to one another. Indow stepped up to the front and walked to the front door, grabbing another coat from the closet and moving out.

How many teenager-sized trench coats does this place have?

“I... I need some time to think on my own...” she spoke softly, no one trying to argue.

White Raven and Thesia looked to one another and moved towards the door, as well.

“We need to try to hunt down Varek on our own. He’s probably stationary now because of the rain, it may be helpful.” White Raven explained as she ran out, Thesia following behind.

I'm sure that won't turn into an even more unmitigated disaster than that last brawl

The rest looked to Jordahn and Lithmenar, who merely stood and blinked, not making a move towards the door.

“What are you looking at us for? I’m not going out while it’s raining.” Lithmenar said as he turned and walked towards the living room.

“Neither am I.” Jordahn spoke, heading into the basement.

*

It was all over for him, but he simply didn’t care anymore.

Neither do I.

Louis fell down in the street as the rain continued to let small drops of water descend and drench his form.

The colder air would probably get to him next, he figured, but it didn’t matter to him. His optimism was dead now, torn from him like the left arm that Varek had sliced off.

The images of how he had become handicapped in such a manner haunted his bewildered, traumatized brain. Some small part of him continued to keep searching for that small twinkle of light, the spark of optimism that would inspire him to do great deeds and be the superhero that he had convinced himself he was, but it found nothing.

It came to Louis, then, that his religious and philosophical ideals of free choice were self-destructive for him.

"Christianity and Optimism forced me to make my own decisions!"

He had chosen to go back to Earth instead of trying to stay on Sin to help the people there rebuild.

You bitched and moaned about wanting to go back since the start of this series.

He had chosen to engage Varek instead of fleeing or planning out a logical strategy other than being an arrogant, pigheaded teenager.

Which was the fault of your "religious and philosophical ideals of free choice"?

And he had chosen to speak harsh words to his friends and family, the people he relied on for love and support.

LMAO. Nigga, did you just chew out your sweetheart and friends so you could have a pity party for yourself five minutes later?

His attitude had cost him everything now and he didn’t have any hope left to call upon.

There is always hope at the end of the rainbow.

And so he simply allowed the rain to fall around and on top of him while he remained on his back.

His eyes were closed, too tired to keep open and focused. It was too much for him all at once, so he just waited for the inevitability of his death to come.

Dude's too lazy to even try a proper suicide. What is this, a Spoony self-insert?

It was even more than a little saddening for him, since he knew he would never again see the people that he cared for...

"Even more than a little saddening"?

... but at least maybe Varek would leave them alone.

For the first time since he had begun his journey on Sin, Louis Williamson surrendered. It was the end for him, at last, and for a moment he even saw some clarity in everything he had done. Every snotty remark, every rude comment or boisterous outburst against what he considered right and wrong were judged, sentenced, and appealed in his mind, but it wasn’t for him to worry about anymore, since his battle was over.

I'm sure you'll forget about this epiphany once your done feeling sorry for yourself

All of a sudden, the rain stopped hitting Louis’ face. He slowly opened his eyes, confused, since he could tell that the rain was still pouring down everywhere else. With his tired eyes open, Louis could see a figure standing over him.

I think he really did start watching Bleach.

Much to his surprise, it was the old man from the antique shop where he had first obtained the Linkaran gauntlet.

You had time to tell all of your friends everything that happened to Sin off-screen, but you never found the time to check up on the weirdo in the weird shop?

He was holding an umbrella over both his own form and over Louis’ upper body. The man sighed softly and pushed back his glasses onto his face, shaking his head down at Louis. He then reached down, offering his hand to help the boy up. Louis considered it for a moment, wondering if it was worth it at all to try to keep on fighting, especially with all that happened.

I guess the pitty party is over?

Within a few seconds, his mind just shrugged and said ‘what the hell,’ and promptly allowed him to reach up with his right arm and get up alongside the old man.

JFC. Keep your mood swings under control, man.

“Come along, Linkara. You and I have a lot to talk about.”

Next Time: Pretty sure this is gonna be an exposition dump. Because fuck pacing.

[wulfenlord]

You're on a roll for the home stretch. Betcha can't wait to get to the unpublished Lovhaug fanfics and Spoony's Highlander, boss :3

The worldbuilding can be easily explained:

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

It's magic. He doesn't have to explain it.

You're on a roll for the home stretch. Betcha can't wait to get to the unpublished Lovhaug fanfics and Spoony's Highlander, boss :3

Oh, my sweet summer child. This isn't the last Angel Armor story...