The Cassandra Conflict is without a doubt one of the sequel books of our generation. The writing is certainly written, the characters are arguably characterized (to some degree), and the wincing is.
"Remember when Rain got killed?" Count: 13
"Remember when Indow got raped?" Count: 9
"Baddies Never Smile" Count: 17
WorldbuildingShow
Not really much about the present day that isn't related to the Dark Knights (which has its own containment zone here). The only thing I could bring up is that there's been quite a few characters making use of Sin's famous off-screen teleportation network to explain why they got from point A to B faster than expected. It's somewhat lazy, and kinda answers questions no one was asking because fuck if I know where anything is in relation to anything else.
I know it would've probably been some horrible pencil sketch or MS Paint abomination, but some kind of map would've been really useful.
So on to the past. For one it doesn't seem like too much has changed in 1000 years, other than magic not being a thing because that stuff was "invented" way later by the church or something. Doesn't really seem to change much of anything, though, aside form the lack of the off-screen teleportation network, and of course the lack of enemy sorcerers (so we still don't know how well magic currently works against the almighty Linkara).
There were also dragons, which have gone extinct sometime during those 1000 years. I suspect Linkara (the author) needed an excuse why there were no dragons in the present or something.
We get introduced to the kingdom of Kien, who at least in the past is supposedly somewhat Klingon-like, but that only pops up occasionally.
There's also a bit more about that one extra dumb religion of vegans who bathe in animal blood, and it basically amounts to them also being goths who like cutting themselves, and their faith is apparently some kind of ancestor worship. As sparse as it is (all of this was revealed in one short scene), it might still be the most fleshed-out religions in this series. It might be dumb, but at least I know how their dumb worship actually works. The fuck do the Linkarans do to worship... I dunno. The angels? The coming of the Linkara? He's already there and has done everything, so what are they doing now?
Despite technically being some militant sect, we didn't really get a lot about what makes those Terafellas tick. They worship some demon and/or god (who might still turn out to be Xenu or something), they believe in some kind of hell, and they have this funny chad who went "Fuck you, I've already got my ticket to paradise!"
Oh, and of course they like turning conquered cities into concentration camps and fill them with their own citizens, because sure, why not.
They got hyped a lot as totaly badass, much closer to actual Chaos Warriors than those Dark Knight dorks.
That didn't last very long. Because Linkara is OP and needs do deal with complete nimrods in order to "outsmart" them.
Also they have limited access to lazor beams from somewhere. This might get explained next book, but who knows.
I know it would've probably been some horrible pencil sketch or MS Paint abomination, but some kind of map would've been really useful.
So on to the past. For one it doesn't seem like too much has changed in 1000 years, other than magic not being a thing because that stuff was "invented" way later by the church or something. Doesn't really seem to change much of anything, though, aside form the lack of the off-screen teleportation network, and of course the lack of enemy sorcerers (so we still don't know how well magic currently works against the almighty Linkara).
There were also dragons, which have gone extinct sometime during those 1000 years. I suspect Linkara (the author) needed an excuse why there were no dragons in the present or something.
We get introduced to the kingdom of Kien, who at least in the past is supposedly somewhat Klingon-like, but that only pops up occasionally.
There's also a bit more about that one extra dumb religion of vegans who bathe in animal blood, and it basically amounts to them also being goths who like cutting themselves, and their faith is apparently some kind of ancestor worship. As sparse as it is (all of this was revealed in one short scene), it might still be the most fleshed-out religions in this series. It might be dumb, but at least I know how their dumb worship actually works. The fuck do the Linkarans do to worship... I dunno. The angels? The coming of the Linkara? He's already there and has done everything, so what are they doing now?
Despite technically being some militant sect, we didn't really get a lot about what makes those Terafellas tick. They worship some demon and/or god (who might still turn out to be Xenu or something), they believe in some kind of hell, and they have this funny chad who went "Fuck you, I've already got my ticket to paradise!"
Oh, and of course they like turning conquered cities into concentration camps and fill them with their own citizens, because sure, why not.
They got hyped a lot as totaly badass, much closer to actual Chaos Warriors than those Dark Knight dorks.
That didn't last very long. Because Linkara is OP and needs do deal with complete nimrods in order to "outsmart" them.
Also they have limited access to lazor beams from somewhere. This might get explained next book, but who knows.
StorytellingShow
If I had to summarize some kind of core essence of this book, I'd say it's 10% setting shit up for the next book, and 90% filler because the author had the bright idea to strand his protagonist in the past.
Sure, this was probably planned, what with the epilogue and the plot going out of its way to prolong Linkara's time adventure, but man was it a bad idea to have Linkara stuck in the past.
Furthermore, both timelines have their own critical problem, in no small part due to shit in the other timeline:
I also couldn't help but notice everyone's plot armor. I've made it a bit of a running gag to remind everyone that named characters only die when they're called "Rain" or "The Darkness" - and not only is it fucking true*, but the plot armor is so powerful that the plot has to bend and break any semblance of logic or reason for it.
This is all mostly thanks to Linkara. He has no qualms about butchering name- and faceless Terafell henchmen by the dozens, but when it comes to Rohaq he just keeps letting him go with at most a kick in the ass - even though he knows he'll just return with an even more extreme idea to kill/capture them. There is no in-story justification why he keeps treating the guy differently from his goons - except for maybe some kind of subconscious semblance of "respect" for authority figures (which could also explain with the King of Kien didn't get brutalized for daring to be annoyed at Linkara's bullshit). Or maybe Linkara (the author) didn't feel like coming up with names for other Terafell officers, so this guy had to stick around, logic be damned.
This continues to the present with Myrrha. Last time they saw each other in the previous book Linkara was forthing with literal blind rage, and here he actually says he's looking forward to finally get to murder the bitch - but when he has her at his mercy he just uppercuts her out of the city, which I'd bet didn't actually kill her (if I didn't already know she's in every book).
*) Moleni doesn't count as he's a not-a-person - unless he returns as Shadow Moleni, in which case he just further proves my point.
Also I guess that first Terafella interrogator had a name too, but he was also just a one-scene wonder.
And don't get me started with the foreshadowing for Book 3, with characters and other shit that's completely pointless for the plot at hand. Nigga, if you're more interested in that story then why did we have to suffer through this one?
Sure, this was probably planned, what with the epilogue and the plot going out of its way to prolong Linkara's time adventure, but man was it a bad idea to have Linkara stuck in the past.
Furthermore, both timelines have their own critical problem, in no small part due to shit in the other timeline:
- Linkara's little quest to change the course of history (Butterfly Effect be damned; funny how that was never brought up) is rendered a waste of time early on because his nakama in the present find out about a secret part of The Prophecy (tm) that clearly states Linkara can't change the past, and as much as I fucking hate these stupid prophecies they're words are infallible law in this series.
(Seriously why the fuck did he bring that shit back?) - The events in the present of course suffer from the fact that this is a self-insert power fantasy, so only the self-insert is allowed to resolve the important issues and save the day. Everyone's just kinda stuck in a limbo.
- Myrrha only really wants to do shit after she can usher in this new era of peace and prosperity by drinking human blood and listening to some of the finest prog rock known to man. No idea why this stupid ceremony is so important to her, or why it seems to be more important than dealing with the enemies at their gates, but everything has to come to a screeching halt because we have to wait the entire book for the ceremony to actually start. How much time did actually pass in the present? I have no idea, but it feels like forever
- Linkara's fellowship from the first book is of course not allowed to solve any Myrrha-related problems. If anything they like to remind the reader how powerless they are in this respect. Instead they pass the time until the ceremony by breaking out of their cell and maybe getting to do something before they are re-captured.
Really the only plot-critical act they do is tell Chreydo where to find Linkara.
I also couldn't help but notice everyone's plot armor. I've made it a bit of a running gag to remind everyone that named characters only die when they're called "Rain" or "The Darkness" - and not only is it fucking true*, but the plot armor is so powerful that the plot has to bend and break any semblance of logic or reason for it.
This is all mostly thanks to Linkara. He has no qualms about butchering name- and faceless Terafell henchmen by the dozens, but when it comes to Rohaq he just keeps letting him go with at most a kick in the ass - even though he knows he'll just return with an even more extreme idea to kill/capture them. There is no in-story justification why he keeps treating the guy differently from his goons - except for maybe some kind of subconscious semblance of "respect" for authority figures (which could also explain with the King of Kien didn't get brutalized for daring to be annoyed at Linkara's bullshit). Or maybe Linkara (the author) didn't feel like coming up with names for other Terafell officers, so this guy had to stick around, logic be damned.
This continues to the present with Myrrha. Last time they saw each other in the previous book Linkara was forthing with literal blind rage, and here he actually says he's looking forward to finally get to murder the bitch - but when he has her at his mercy he just uppercuts her out of the city, which I'd bet didn't actually kill her (if I didn't already know she's in every book).
*) Moleni doesn't count as he's a not-a-person - unless he returns as Shadow Moleni, in which case he just further proves my point.
Also I guess that first Terafella interrogator had a name too, but he was also just a one-scene wonder.
And don't get me started with the foreshadowing for Book 3, with characters and other shit that's completely pointless for the plot at hand. Nigga, if you're more interested in that story then why did we have to suffer through this one?
LinkaraShow
Where do I even begin with this guy?
He's still an insufferably smug asshole to both friend and foe alike, because the guy has no respect for lesser beings (aka everyone else).
He still likes to paint himself as a "nice guy" (quotations by him, interestingly enough), an optimist and probably also a cultivated/educated scholar based on the inane discussions he likes to have with people.
He also has no patience to try and convince people of anything, so he prefers violence or at least the threat of violence, like the true fascist that he is.
(Seriously did MovieBlob ghostwrite this?)
By far the biggest difference between Book 1 Linkara and Book 2 Linkara is the power level: While Book 1 Linkara would frequently get himself and his fellowship in trouble by overestimating his abilities, Book 2 Linkara is straight-up invincible.
Nothing can stop the guy from brutalizing whomever he pleases, and he has multiple layers of defenses, including his armor just automatically blocking shit in case he fucks up too badly.
Any semblance of tension has to take a backseat as we need to be constantly assured of Linkara's invulnerability:
- Fighting against large numbers of Terafellas, who have been hyped up as effectively superhuman warriors? That shit gets boring so quickly the plot just starts skipping the fights and goes straight to Linkara sitting on a mountain of corpses.
- Linkara gets captured by the Terafellas? Turns out he did this as a prank and was never in any kind of danger.
- The Terafellas employ a lazor beam, and Linkara is too shocked and amazed to react? Turns out his armor is immune to the beams.
I really don't know why anyone would willingly start a mind battle with this guy. It's nothing but a handicap. Lesser beings (aka everyone else) can never match Linkara's godlike mind powers. Because they haven't watched enough TV or something.
The self-indulgence was also off the charts with this self-insert.
We had the already mentioned capture by the Terafellas, where he just clowns on a bunch of idiots doing their worst cop impressions.
He wastes an entire day and chapter building a fucking flamethrower to scare off the Terafellas with a pyrotechnics display that Chreydo could've just replicated with a flick of his wrist.
Then we waste another chapter because Linkara ordered a full retreat after rendering the enemy's secret weapon inefficient and said enemy completely dumfounded, just so he could turn his knowledge of an iconic Star Trek episode into a bluff only a complete moron would fall for (aka it worked).
The plot tries to make us emphasize with the deranged demigod that is Linkara with a select few "character development" scenes where he howls is inner turmoil at the world.
Like when he revealed that he was a violent lunatic because of his savior complex, which is kinda funny because he's always been a violent lunatic, and he continued to solve this book's main conflict by being a violent lunatic.
Or when he suddly cried about wanting to go home.
All of this shit generally comes out of nowhere and is quickly forgotten. And honestly, I don't care if this shit is actually genuine or just him wanting some pitty for a change.
I also don't care if his smug attitude is actually some kind of coping mechanism. If you're an insufferably smug asshole 95% of the time, I don't give shit what kind of existential crisis you have during those other 5%.
About the only positive development I can think of is that he stopped bringing up the Holocaust to win arguments.
Oh, and severely cut down on kicks to the groin region, though instead he seems to have moved on to weird jumping kicks to the head - which sound like they have way more startup animation, and seem to rely on the enemy always being shocked and amazed at seeing a white boy jump that high.
IndowShow
Her biggest contribution to the plot this time around is her rape from last book, because man did we start getting reminded of that a lot.
She starts off as the main character for the present day segments, which was dreadfully repetitive melodrama about how everyone was happy while she was sad. Then the narrative started focusing on more members of the fellowship, and after telling Chreydo what to do she spends most of remaining book stuck in a sewer level with no further impact on the story.
Also it turns out she 150 years old and has always been able to read minds. Strangely enough, all of this was revelead because of Raven, and I'm not sure if this will ever get brought up ever again.
She starts off as the main character for the present day segments, which was dreadfully repetitive melodrama about how everyone was happy while she was sad. Then the narrative started focusing on more members of the fellowship, and after telling Chreydo what to do she spends most of remaining book stuck in a sewer level with no further impact on the story.
Also it turns out she 150 years old and has always been able to read minds. Strangely enough, all of this was revelead because of Raven, and I'm not sure if this will ever get brought up ever again.
LithmenarShow
On one hand he actually ends up doing some Rogue-related actions. Mostly picking locks, but still.
On the other hand he's still a whiny bitch. If anything he's even bitchier this time around.
His main moment of character development comes when he tries to justify his thievish ways to Indow. Since he's a protagonist written by a moron he of course needs some kind of "noble" justification, so he styles himself as a punk/activist who only steals from those who deserve it in his endless quest to stick it to the man.
I mean, duh, who else are you gonna steal from if not the rich? The fucking peasants aren't exactly loaded.
On the other hand he's still a whiny bitch. If anything he's even bitchier this time around.
His main moment of character development comes when he tries to justify his thievish ways to Indow. Since he's a protagonist written by a moron he of course needs some kind of "noble" justification, so he styles himself as a punk/activist who only steals from those who deserve it in his endless quest to stick it to the man.
I mean, duh, who else are you gonna steal from if not the rich? The fucking peasants aren't exactly loaded.
White RavenShow
She's just fucking weird in this. She rejoins the Dark Knights as part of some ruse (except for that brief bit in the Super Myrrha fight where she pondered about her allegiance. Whoops.) but never really does anything. She's just kinda sleepwalking through her scenes, seemingly only existing because otherwise we'd only have Myrrha to serve as a focus character for the Dark Knight bits.
MyrrhaShow
Unsurprisingly, she continues to be a crazy bitch.
She takes control of the Dark Knights, but never actually ends up doing anything (aside from having weird fantasies about her glorious gangbang / mandatory impregnation utopia) because of her autistic obsession with that stupid ceremony.
Then she gets taken out like a Roman extra in an Asterix & Obelix story, because fuck giving our OG recurring villain any kind of dignity.
The plot tries to spin her as some kind of manipulative master schemer who has set up everything so she becomes untouchable to anyone who cares about the fate of the Dark Knights (which aren't actually too many people, but we get to that in a bit).
"Oh no, we can't just get rid of Lady Hitler. It would just cause Super Hitler to be put in charge!"
Turns out it really is that easy - at least if you have a Super Hitler named "Linkara" ready to go. But hey, he ordered everyone to be peaceful under thread of Total Dark Knight Death, so let's all clap like demented seals at this stunning triumph of ""Good"" over Evil!
She also reveals that he hates monarchies, despite wanting to be a queen. She promised to explain this, but didn't actually get to it. Maybe next book...
She takes control of the Dark Knights, but never actually ends up doing anything (aside from having weird fantasies about her glorious gangbang / mandatory impregnation utopia) because of her autistic obsession with that stupid ceremony.
Then she gets taken out like a Roman extra in an Asterix & Obelix story, because fuck giving our OG recurring villain any kind of dignity.
The plot tries to spin her as some kind of manipulative master schemer who has set up everything so she becomes untouchable to anyone who cares about the fate of the Dark Knights (which aren't actually too many people, but we get to that in a bit).
"Oh no, we can't just get rid of Lady Hitler. It would just cause Super Hitler to be put in charge!"
Turns out it really is that easy - at least if you have a Super Hitler named "Linkara" ready to go. But hey, he ordered everyone to be peaceful under thread of Total Dark Knight Death, so let's all clap like demented seals at this stunning triumph of ""Good"" over Evil!
She also reveals that he hates monarchies, despite wanting to be a queen. She promised to explain this, but didn't actually get to it. Maybe next book...
The Dark KnightsShow
They're dumb, spineless sheeple who just go along with whatever their supreme leader says, even if they're not really into it.
Maybe the idea is that they're just used to having some supreme leader tell them. What to do. Though if that's the case it probably does not make for a good solution to have Linkara go Popeye on their supreme leader, effectively become the new supreme leader, and tell them. What to do.
A saner - if tacky - scene would have Linkara do some speech about how they need to start thinking for themselves and stand up for their beliefs, causing the Dark Knights to piss off and leave Myrrha seething in Lupa-tier rage.
There are plenty of speeches he could've appropriated for this occasion (as he is wont to do), like this one:
But I guess "I killed the Darkness, I (potentially) killed Myrrha, and I will kill each and every one of you if you don't stay peaceful. Now who wants to party?!" works, too.
Also strange is the complete lack of any and all diplomacy (until the finale I guess). If they want to live in peace in their own little Wakanda, why aren't they telling anyone about it? Why not send some envoy to Soyah going all "We're just as glad as you guys that the Darkness is gone. Now could you kindly fuck off this ruined ghost town? Don't worry, you can keep the rotten ale." instead of surprise-attacking the place and making everyone think the Dark Knights are out for revenge.
What the fuck do they expect the rest of the world to do? I know Myrrha probably didn't have any real interest in peace, but she should've at least pretended to beyond telling Raven "Trust me, sis, I'm a changed lady".
Also who greenlit her human sacrifice idea?
And as a supposed Trekkie, he should've known the story opportunities of such a post-war situation (aka go all DS9):
Oh, and we get some more mention of their little hive mind, but continue to not see it in practice. I guess it really is a glorified Discord channel.
Maybe the idea is that they're just used to having some supreme leader tell them. What to do. Though if that's the case it probably does not make for a good solution to have Linkara go Popeye on their supreme leader, effectively become the new supreme leader, and tell them. What to do.
A saner - if tacky - scene would have Linkara do some speech about how they need to start thinking for themselves and stand up for their beliefs, causing the Dark Knights to piss off and leave Myrrha seething in Lupa-tier rage.
There are plenty of speeches he could've appropriated for this occasion (as he is wont to do), like this one:
But I guess "I killed the Darkness, I (potentially) killed Myrrha, and I will kill each and every one of you if you don't stay peaceful. Now who wants to party?!" works, too.
Also strange is the complete lack of any and all diplomacy (until the finale I guess). If they want to live in peace in their own little Wakanda, why aren't they telling anyone about it? Why not send some envoy to Soyah going all "We're just as glad as you guys that the Darkness is gone. Now could you kindly fuck off this ruined ghost town? Don't worry, you can keep the rotten ale." instead of surprise-attacking the place and making everyone think the Dark Knights are out for revenge.
What the fuck do they expect the rest of the world to do? I know Myrrha probably didn't have any real interest in peace, but she should've at least pretended to beyond telling Raven "Trust me, sis, I'm a changed lady".
Also who greenlit her human sacrifice idea?
And as a supposed Trekkie, he should've known the story opportunities of such a post-war situation (aka go all DS9):
- Both sides not trusting each other
- People falling back into old habits
- Bad things happening to people who genuinely want peace
- People radicalizing themselves again
- People being put under pressure for having the "wrong" opinion
Oh, and we get some more mention of their little hive mind, but continue to not see it in practice. I guess it really is a glorified Discord channel.
The Band of the LinksterShow
The main issues with "the Unit" (really creative official name there) is that it's only one character. This becomes especially dumb in Moleni's heroic sacrifice scene - which is basically Boromir's last stand if Boromir had never existed before that scene.
As a result, Gyaru Casca aka Jordahn aka the only character in this fucking unit has some pretty wild mood swings, all to be whatever the plot needs Linkara's goons to feel like.
At the start she was some psychopathic brute who wouldn't be tolerated in even the most Klingon of cultures, and after that she keeps flip-flopping between thinking Linkara is a wise dude and also a psychopathic brute.
Really they should've had at least 2 other characters. Then we could've had genuine sacrifices, a better idea of the unit's dwindling numbers beyond a short summary on how many of them died in which chapter, and most importantly some consequences for Linkara's dumb decisions.
As a result, Gyaru Casca aka Jordahn aka the only character in this fucking unit has some pretty wild mood swings, all to be whatever the plot needs Linkara's goons to feel like.
At the start she was some psychopathic brute who wouldn't be tolerated in even the most Klingon of cultures, and after that she keeps flip-flopping between thinking Linkara is a wise dude and also a psychopathic brute.
Really they should've had at least 2 other characters. Then we could've had genuine sacrifices, a better idea of the unit's dwindling numbers beyond a short summary on how many of them died in which chapter, and most importantly some consequences for Linkara's dumb decisions.
Other Good GuysShow
I found Garik and J'Vok very much interchangeable in this book. The only difference seems to be that J'Vok has taken some levels in Barbarian and Monk (seriously the guy is fucking savage when he's pissed), while Garik is more likely to bring up The Prophecy (tm) and Indow's Rape (tm).
The new character Jeremis just kinda exists. Maybe there'll be more to him next book.
The based king of Kien is like the only character in the book to react halfway realistic to Linkara's bullshit - so of course our dear self-insert has to be a little bitch behind his back.
Moleni's memory will live on in all of us.
The new character Jeremis just kinda exists. Maybe there'll be more to him next book.
The based king of Kien is like the only character in the book to react halfway realistic to Linkara's bullshit - so of course our dear self-insert has to be a little bitch behind his back.
Moleni's memory will live on in all of us.
Other Bad GuysShow
Rohaq never had a chance. He's a clown, a complete idiot who always falls for Linkara's pranks and even manages to score epic Ls when he should have the upper hand. Can't wait to see him failing next book.
Varek the Destroying One is the second-worst sequel bait villain of the book. Myrrha hyped him up as a big deal who is even more evil than she is, but all that we're getting is some cape-wearing conservative who may or may not have something against the fairer sex.
Thesia on the other hand is the worst sequel bait villain. Her involvment in this book can be summed up like this:
"Hello, random guy in a dungeon cell! My name is Thesia, and I exist!"
[A few chapters later]
"I have been the real main villain this entire time!"
What in the ever-loving fuck was that? I guess she's the one who has supplied the Terafellas with lazor beams, but why so few? And why did she make herself known to some random guy in the present?
Varek the Destroying One is the second-worst sequel bait villain of the book. Myrrha hyped him up as a big deal who is even more evil than she is, but all that we're getting is some cape-wearing conservative who may or may not have something against the fairer sex.
Thesia on the other hand is the worst sequel bait villain. Her involvment in this book can be summed up like this:
"Hello, random guy in a dungeon cell! My name is Thesia, and I exist!"
[A few chapters later]
"I have been the real main villain this entire time!"
What in the ever-loving fuck was that? I guess she's the one who has supplied the Terafellas with lazor beams, but why so few? And why did she make herself known to some random guy in the present?
Angel Armor vs The WorldShow
I originally inteded to make individual segments like last time, where I compare it to At4W, Kassandray Killjoy and finally an "Angel Armor vs Angel Armor" segment where I compare the two books.
But you know what? Fuck it, this book is the worst of the bunch so far. It's a less juvenile version of the first book with a lot more filler and a lot less tension because Linkara is pretty much Superman while everyone else is a mere mortal.
But you know what? Fuck it, this book is the worst of the bunch so far. It's a less juvenile version of the first book with a lot more filler and a lot less tension because Linkara is pretty much Superman while everyone else is a mere mortal.
tl;drShow
Also Linkara (the author) considers it his masterpiece. Aren't y'all excited?
