The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Mon Feb 10, 2025 9:23 pm

Book 2, Chapter 9 - In Purgatory's Shadow
(Or: Linkara gets humbled)



Chreydo and Jeremis are finally on their excellent adventure through time and space. Just what awaits the-
Nah, I've looked a bit ahead. They're just gone for the next couple chapters, so we'll have to put up with those other losers again...
RecapShow
Past

I'm pretty sure Linkara (the author) is starting to struggle with keeping the timelines synced up with equal amounts of stuff happening, so Linkara's portion is mostly filler about him being a passive-aggressive bitch. Again.
Here, let me summarize it for you:

"I remember this forest. From the future."
"Captain, shouldn't we stop wasting time and continue our mission?"
"Is that so, eh? We should continue our mission, eh? Don't wanna fail in our quest to change the course of history, eh? Stupid fucking bitch..."
"..."
"Oh, and by the way, I know you retards are planning a mutiny. You better not try anything funny - OR ELSE."
"Curses! Foiled again!"
Image

Worldbuilding tidbits:
  • The forests of Ai apparently don't really change even after 1000 years, and stay instantly recognizable even after all this time.
Present

Indow is 150 years old. It is safe to jerk off to her.
Image

Ahem. Chreydo finally leads the fellowship to the super secret and most ingenius hiding place of the time travel spell.

It's on a random page.
In a random book.
In a random house.
In a ruined village.
Which conveniently just so happened to be the very same village where Raven did her world-famous butchering, and used Indow's grandparents as guro pinatas.
Image

I could say that even Jar-Jar Abrams call this MacGuffin hunt retarded, but I have seen Rise of Skywalker so I know I'd be lying.

There was some artifical drama because skeletons were about to pop out (not that that's an issue; Indow can Turn Undead like an epic-level Cleric) and maybe some Dark Sorcerers as well (which would be a much bigger issue), but eventually Chreydo and his new BFF Jeremis managed to piss off into the past, so all important characters are safe.

Meanwhile Raven is having some boring slice-of-life hijinks with some female Dark Knight who actually acts like a normal person and has a name so retarded I'm just gonna call her "Raven's friend".
I'm just gonna predict that the purpose of Raven's friend is for her to get killed by the good guys to cement Raven's return to the dark side, or to be one of the founding members of a hypothetical group of unironic "White Knights" once enough of the Dark Knights decide they don't feel like taking orders from a psychopathic bitch.

Worldbuilding tidbits:
  • Having sufficient catgirl and/or sorcerer blood in your family can cause you to live for hundreds of years. You'd think it would do a number on society when some families just live way longer than everyone else.
  • The elusive Infinite Power Spell is finally revealed to grant "unlimited magic power" for 30 minutes. Was probably banned to prevent Skyrim enchantment exploits.
    Still doesn't explain why Indow thought that Linkara might've used the spell to pose as the messiah.
  • Having too much fun slaughtering a village apparently just naturally FUBARs the place forever, granting it the same Feng Shui as your average Soulslike location.
ChapterShow
"Please, sir, it's raining! Allow us to set up shelter!"

Louis shook his head as his eye twitched angrily. His eyes were on the road ahead of him, and his expression was one of anger and rage. Water dripped down his face as he trudged along on the muddy path. He grumbled for a moment before he replied to the troops.

"Just be thankful that I allowed you all to remove the Arbiter uniforms to protect them as we traveled towards Walsz!" he shouted.

"Captain, please! It's cold and we can't take much more of this!" Jordahn said.

"Soldiers on my world can certainly take it!" Louis growled.

"I have news for you, Captain: this is not your world! These men are not used to rain in such quantities, or at all, for that matter!" Jordahn exclaimed.

Louis turned and stared at the troops behind him. He stared into the eyes of those nearest to him, and saw the tired and dark looks in them. He saw the water splashing down all around them and on top of them, sliding down their skin and making their light clothes cling to their skin. He saw these once-proud warriors standing in humiliation and fear from the environment, and so he sighed and thought about the logic of their request.

"All right, very well. Let's get out of this weather." he said.

*

Indow growled and sighed as the Dark Knight that had been holding her shoved her back into the cell she had spent a short time in the other day. Another Dark Knight took hold of her wrists and reattached them to the magic-blocking manacles. She was then placed against a wall while the chains were locked in above her. She turned her head and saw Lithmenar beside her, smiling as ever. Myrrha stood in the doorway of the prison cell, staring at them with excited glee as she crossed her arms.

"It wasn't too difficult to find you, Priestess. A simple locater spell with the Dark Sorcerers easily identified your position. What ever made you go to Vahn of all places is a mystery to me, but at the moment I really do not care. Thanks to the locater spell we put on you the instant you left, we now know where an attack will most likely come from, if an attack even happens!" she stated.

"I'm ecstatic for you." Garik said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, simple Priest, how ignorant you are of the changing world around us. You obviously have a very large problem with the idea of a free culture away from the harsh whip of tyranny that is the monarchy." Myrrha stated.

"And yet you're the self-proclaimed Queen of the Eclipsed Legion, you Ackjahvis." J'Vok growled.

Myrrha rolled her eyes and sighed. "It's not a 'Queen' in the sense you're used to, you primitive fool. Do not worry, you may be able to see in time the true height of what I'm trying to achieve."

Myrrha turned and began leading the Dark Knights out of the prison cell. Once they were clear, she closed the gates behind her and smiled at her captives.

"Just do try to do it before the ceremony, for after that, you won't be understanding anything except how much pain you will experience there."

And with that, Myrrha turned once more and proceeded up the steps with the Dark Knights quickly behind her. The group in the cell all turned to face one another and discuss the new situation.

"Were you successful, Priestess?" General J'Vok asked.

Indow nodded. "At least, we think we were. Chreydo initiated the spell and entered it with Jeremis. However, we cannot be certain that they arrived in the right place and time to find the Linkara. For all we know, the spell was not successful and they reappeared in Terlough at the same moment they left."

"What did happen at Vahn? Was that the location of the Forbidden Spells?" Lithmenar inquired.

Garik replied, "Yes, it was. After we found the spell, it was revealed that Dark Sorcerers had tracked us there and were using Necronomica to bring the dead in the village back to life. We fought as valiantly as we could, but they overwhelmed us. Then, by using mass Teleportation Vortices, they brought us back here."

Indow shrugged. "Well, it's understandable how it could happen. Lithmenar, my arms are getting tired, could you please free us?"

Lithmenar shook his head.

"Why not?" Indow asked.

"They took the key from me and ensured that my hands could not take another one from them. I'm afraid that I have no way of freeing us." Lithmenar said, still smiling.

Indow sighed and narrowed her eyes at him. "Some thief you are."

*

Louis glared over the ridge of the hill he stood upon and down upon the small Terafell Arbiter encampment at the base of the large hill. Jordahn was at his side, her lip quivering as she anticipated what his next action would be. Louis smiled and pulled himself back from watching the Arbiters. It was now night, so the only indication that they were there was actually the fires that illuminated their camp. They apparently were very comfortable with their position, having removed their helmets and been eating heartily from meats that they cooked over the fires.

Louis got up and dusted his front clothes off, moving with Jordahn at his side, down to the Unit. It had been a few days since Louis' act of kindness had allowed the troops to rest comfortably in a cave for a day so they could treat their wounds and try to get better. Shortly after they were strong enough, they moved onwards once again, although a gloomy air still hung around them as they trudged along towards Walsz. They had set up camp for the night at the base of a cave next to the large hill that blocked their path, which would provide them a little shelter should any rain come in during the night.

As Louis approached the Unit, many already had an idea of what he was going to say, and they all held their heads low in depression. Louis smiled as he approached, putting his arms behind his back as he stood ready.

"We have located another Terafell Arbiter encampment. I'd like us to attack them early in the morning, so allow me to go over my- OW!"

Jordahn had finally had enough. She knew that even with the help of her brethren in the Unit, they could not defeat Louis by fighting him. She knew open resistance through words in front of the Unit, undermining him, would not work. Louis was a stubborn teenager, and she knew that she could only do one thing that wouldn't get her injured so she could finally explain to him why he was wrong.

She grabbed onto his ear and pulled it really hard.

"Ow, ow, ow! Leftant [sic], what the hell are you-"

"Come with me." she simply said, pulling Louis by the ear away from the Unit.

Louis continued to voice his protests through exclamations of "Ow!" as Jordahn pulled him farther away from the Unit. She brought him to a small outcropping of rocks about thirty feet from the cave where she finally released Louis from her grip. She balled her hands into fists and glared at her Captain.

"You have to stop." she stated.

"Jordahn-" Louis began.

"No, you HAVE to stop!" Jordahn yelled, interrupting him.

"I don't HAVE to do anything! I am doing this to save lives!" Louis shouted back at her.

"You act not as a man trying to save lives, but as a man on a vendetta for blood!

You are acting more and more like a Terafell Arbiter than as a man!" Jordahn growled.

Louis narrowed his eyes and stormed up to Jordahn's face. "Don't you ever compare me to those monsters! How dare you even begin to contemplate that I am anything like them!"

"You slay them simply because they are Arbiters! You do not take into account any facts or details before you! You kill simply out of hatred! That is not honorable!"

"Well, you'll forgive me, Leftant [sic], if I don't think your fucking honor of all things is a logical reason for war with the Arbiters!"

"Then what is, oh 'Linkara?!' What possible justification is there for any action to be taken against the Arbiters as you have?!"

"Oh, here we go!" Louis growled, rolling his eyes.

"What are you talking about?!" Jordahn demanded to know.

"You know, you're a real piece of work, you know that? You and every other goddamned tree-hugging commie hippie fucker! Oh no, we can't go to war with Iraq, it's none of our business! This isn't a war on terror, it's a war on Islam! Hitler isn't a fascist dictator hoping for world domination, he's a fairly stable leader with a Charlie Chaplin moustache! We only want Kuwait's oil! We're desecrating holy land! On and on you people constantly open your mouths but it's only an excuse to avoid the fact that people are dying and no one is doing anything to save them!"

"And what about the Arbiters' lives? You are embracing their principles of death! You reject the Linkaran religion, which is one of truth, faith, and peace! Even I, a member of the New Blood Order know that!"

"This war we're fighting isn't about principles, religions, or conquest, Jordahn, it's about life! I am not doing the things I do because I like to kill, Jordahn, but because I want to save LIFE! God forbid we actually care about human life on this planet! No one can ever see the fucking picture! Do none of you people ever look out the goddamned window?! In Saudi Arabia, seventeen schoolgirls burned to death because the religious police wouldn't let the girls escape from a burning building because they weren't wearing the proper dress! In Iraq, Saddam Hussein tested chemical and biological weapons on a village just to test their effectiveness and staged a massacre of Iraqi Kurds in the name of ethnic cleansing! Iran, Pakistan, North Korea; half the world has gone to hell in a hand basket but we refuse to do anything about it because we're so caught up in the idea of hating anything our leaders have to say because we supposedly can't trust them anymore! Eleven million people died because of the Nazis! Three thousand people died in the World Trade Center attacks on 9/11! And hundreds of people die every day on the streets of Israel because of suicide bombings! Look around you, Jordahn!"

"And what am I supposed to see?!" Jordahn growled.

"You're supposed to see the horrible things that happen all around you and do something about them! How about extremist groups not only bent on religious terrorism, but domestic terrorists like Neo Nazis and the Ku Klux Klan?! How about the people who raise their kids to hate other people, eh?! How about the sickos out there who convince innocent children that it's right to hate someone else because of their skin color or who they want to fall in love with?! The Arbiters are no goddamned different than any of the organizations from my world! All that's different is the NAMES. Al Quaeda or Arbiters! Hitler or the Darkness! I refuse to let it happen anymore, Jordahn! Do you hear me?! I won't let it happen anymore!"

"I don't even know what you're talking about!" Jordahn stated, backing off.

"That's right, you don't!" Louis said.

And then, Louis winced. He looked away from Jordahn and closed his eyes.

"I... I don't even know what I'm saying anymore."

Louis winced once more, then sat down on a rock, putting his head in his hands as a tear escaped his eye. He began to slowly rock back and forth, breathing carefully as he held his face in his hands.

"There's so much evil on my world, Jordahn. I'm not sure if there's more on yours or mine. I can barely keep myself steady. All I can do when I see an Arbiter is see the millions if not billions of people who have died because of evil. I hear the voices of the people who have been wronged, whose lives and ways of life have been ripped from them because of the acts of madmen. All their voices seem to scream out at me for vengeance. I see them when I close my eyes; even when I blink, they're there. Do you realize just how hard it is to be an optimist in this world? Every day I know exactly what goes on in the world and all the evil that exists there, but I have to constantly hold out hope that everything's going to be all right and that I or someone like me can make a difference out there in a world run by madmen. I... I'm so tired, Jordahn. I'm just so very tired..." he said, and he closed his eyes and cried silently.

Jordahn's face turned to one of regret and sadness. She walked over to Louis and put her hand on his shoulder to try to comfort him. She slowly sat down beside him on the rock. Louis' weeping slowed as he began to calm himself. Jordahn turned her face to him and met his gaze.

"I have seen evil, myself, Captain. I have also learned to see when others are acting for evil, like you have been. I have lost many friends and loves in this war. And by what you tell me, I shall lose many more. But even if I knew with absolute certainty that with a single weapon I could slay every Arbiter on this planet, I wouldn't. Because even though we seek to eradicate evil any time we see it, we cannot abandon our humanity. After all, if we do that, what will be left when the evil is gone?" Jordahn asked.

Louis put his hand on her's. "A hollow shell. No happiness. No celebration. No glory or vengeance for the dead. Perhaps the Darkness won our battle, after all. He turned me into the very thing he was creating with the Dark Knights: a joyless, mindless soldier bent on destruction and suppression of free will. You're right, Jordahn. I have made some colossal mistakes as our leader. Perhaps it is time for me to get back on track with the mission."

"And although we do, Louis, we shall not abandon the people of this land, either. Come, Louis. Walsz is no more than a week away. And even if we fail in our mission to rescue the good prince, we shall not fail in our mission to fight evil." Jordahn stated with a smile.

Louis nodded. "Maybe, but there's something else I need to do first."

Louis stood up and offered Jordahn his hand. She took it and stood up with his minor assistance, Louis leading her back towards the Unit. As they approached the group, the Unit noticed that both were smiling, which made them wonder what they had talked about in the short distance away where they couldn't hear them. When they arrived back at the camp, Louis found the largest rock near the cave and climbed on top of it so that the Unit could see him.

"Listen carefully, troops! Jordahn and I just had a little talk, and she's managed to convince me that I've made a hell of a lot of mistakes while being in charge. I want to apologize right now for it. My hatred for what the Arbiters stand for blinded me from what I was doing. Maybe in time you can trust me again as a Captain and leader, but you can't do that now. Because of that, I am resigning my position of Captain of this Unit and appointing Leftant [sic], no, I'm sorry, Captain Jordahn Aver as my replacement!" he proclaimed.

Jordahn's mouth hung open, not expecting this turn of events. Louis offered his hand to her once more, and she took it. Louis pulled her up to the rock and stood behind her as she now faced the troops. The Unit was now all smiling, staring at their long-time friend and confidant who had now become their leader. The nearest soldier pumped his fist into the air and shouted:

"Hail she who has become our Captain! Hail Jordahn!"

The soldier began repeating 'hail' over and over, and the entire Unit quickly joined in unison with him, pumping their fists into the air and shouting 'hail.' Jordahn smiled and finally calmed them down by raising her own hands into the air. She looked back at Louis for a moment, who gave her a smile when she glanced at him. She returned the gesture and then twisted herself back to the Unit.

"I know this has been a hard time for us all, but now is the time for us to retake the glory that was taken from us! My first act as Captain is to officially declare that we will no longer attack any Terafell Arbiter forces without just cause! We'll wake up early tomorrow, but only to avoid the one near us and then proceed on towards Walsz! We'll recover the Prince and destroy the Arbiters in open war, where fighting should be!"

The Unit let out a triumphant 'hail!'

"Furthermore, for my next official act as Captain, I am appointing Louis Williamson as my Leftant [sic]." Jordahn stated.

The Unit stopped for a moment, confused by this. Louis was especially shocked, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

"I know you have reservations about this. I may be making a mistake, but it is my mistake as Captain to make! Louis has lost his honor, and do we not always believe that redemption and the reclaiming of honor should be the top priority of every Kien warrior? I say that we should help our Leftant [sic] reclaim his honor! Let all of the Arbiters know that the Sand Warriors of Kien will never abandon it's own and will always fight the unjust!" Jordahn shouted.

Jordahn turned her body slightly, her head still facing the Unit but her arm extended out and pointing at Louis.

"Hail he who flew through the skies to deliver us from the axe of the Terafell Arbiters!"

The Unit once more let out a triumphant 'Hail!," repeating the phrase over and over again as Louis only stood on the back of the rock with a smile on his face.

*

White Raven smiled and nodded at Antillitz, taking the cup of hot tea that she had been offered. White Raven cradled it in her hands for a moment, examining the drink before taking a sip of the hot liquid. The sweet taste brought another smile to her face as she gulped it down. she placed the cup onto its saucer, holding both the saucer and cup as she sat down at Antillitz's table. There was another Dark Knight in the room, who looked pretty similar to Antillitz, in the ways that Dark Knights look the same. His hair was long and black, with pale skin and cold blue eyes. Antillitz had introduced him as Illotel, hopefully her husband to be if they were successful in creating the Eclipsed Legion.

"Like I said," Antillitz had explained, "we were in the same Assault Squad together. When the Darkness was totally destroyed, we took solace and comfort in each other's company, embracing in a frenzy of passion we'd never experienced before."

"We had both been small children when we were first assimilated into the Darkness. We knew nothing of love or sex, although we learned of them over our lives. We were, of course, taught to reject the idea of love by the Darkness, but when the Darkness' control was gone, we realized just how wrong he was." Illotel said.

"Love is a wondrous, fantastic thing. It's filled with the good and the bad, but you always cherish each moment while you're in it." Antillitz continued.

White Raven stood up from the table, having finished her tea. "Well, it was wonderful to meet you both. You know, Myrrha has appointed me as her adjutant for the time being, and one of my duties is seeking out candidates for Consuls of the local government we're going to establish. I'd like to appoint two people who will be an embodiment and symbol of the new system, and you two might be just what I'm looking for."

Antillitz smiled and looked over at Illotel, who returned the smile. Antillitz looked to White Raven again and nodded.

"We'd be honored." she said.

White Raven smiled and nodded, turning away and walking back out the front door of the cabin. She walked away from the house and back towards the ruins of the Soyah castle, wondering if she could get a chance to speak with Myrrha before she began work on her own dwellings.

To try to encourage the idea that they were a free society, each person would work on their own home, dwelling, and surrounding. Myrrha, being the "Queen" of the Eclipsed Legion, was granted the right to have the former home of the Darkness as her own shelter. She had set up her office first of all, considering most of her time from day to day would be there, while her home was made up of a few stonewalls and animals furs as a bed.

It took White Raven a few minutes to get to the castle from Antillitz's home. When she arrived, she noticed that Myrrha was not in her office as she usually was at this time of the day. She walked around for a bit, searching for Myrrha. She finally located her in her dwelling, but she wasn't alone. White Raven found Myrrha on top of the animal furs with a man, and both were quite naked. White Raven stared at them for a moment as they finished having sex with one another.

"Ah, Raven! How nice to see you. Thank you, Empol, I'll let you know if we were successful." she said, getting up from the makeshift bed.

Empol nodded and grabbed his own clothes from the dirty ground, walking away from the two. Myrrha herself was already getting up and putting her own clothes back on. White Raven raised an eyebrow, curious as to what had just happened (besides the obvious, of course). Myrrha just smiled at White Raven and proceeded to cover herself in black clothing before she finally spoke:

"Empol wishes to have a child to raise."

"And so you are then selling yourself out with the promise of birthing children?" White Raven asked.

"Not selling, doing only what the law says." Myrrha replied.

"Law?"

Yes. I've drafted a few laws for us to confirm once we've established a government. One of them include a requirement for all the women of the city to be willing to take on multiple partners, if necessary, to bear more children. Both of us, included." Myrrha said.

"Isn't that a little unfair to the women of the Legion? We're forcing them to bear the responsibility of childbirth." White Raven stated.

Myrrha shrugged. "After the Hundred Year War, the five lands legalized prostitution in an attempt to recover the populations that were destroyed because of the war. The principle's no different."

"Well, what about people who already wish to raise a family? I have met two people named Antillitz and Illotel who seem very enamored with one another."

Myrrha held her hair up as she tied some type of bra (although having sides that were as wide as a shirt) around her chest. "Well, there will be, of course, exceptions. The majority of women here, however, have not experienced love before. We wish to allow the people here to express the emotions that the Darkness expressed, so the mandatory pregnancy will only applied to those currently not involved romantically involved."

"Is it even possible for us to have children? I have never heard of an instance when it was done..."

"That's because the Darkness deeply discouraged sexual fraternization between soldiers, although did not forbid it. I believe he did, though, suppress our ability to have children while we were Dark Knights because he wanted each 'pure descent' Dark Knight to be one that joined him from the outside and not born into it naturally. Hmmm... I just realized that we'll have to address another issue: marriage."

"Religion, as well." White Raven said. "But those can wait for another day."

Myrrha nodded and slipped on her chest plate. "Indeed. Let's get to work."

*

"It seems... smaller than I remember."

Louis was referring to Walsz. The Unit, after a long journey of sickness, health, pain, and happiness, had finally arrived in the former capitol of the once-great land. Stepping into the city limits, it was clear that this place was under control of the Arbiters. On each street corner there contained at least one fully robed Terafell Arbiter. In most other places, partially robed Arbiters stood guard with axes in hands around stores and buildings, always vigilantly watching for anything suspicious or not conforming to their code of conduct. As with the city of Kuen, citizens who were taken by the Arbiters when they conquered Ai wore red triangles on their chest and bowed anytime they had to come face to face with an Arbiter in robes.

"There aren't any children around here." one of the Unit stated.

"Arbiter children are usually trained to be soldiers when they reach seven years old. For eight years, they undergo intensive physical training and then are given the choice to return to society or continue serving the armed forces. Most choose to stay with the Arbiter military, since they know it so well." Jordahn explained from behind her helmet.

"What about the children who were Aian citizens? What's happened to them?" Louis asked.

"All taken by the Arbiters. Most are put into orphanages and are usually taken by Arbiters who require pageboys or clerks for a cheap price, or are taken to be brainwashed by the Arbiters and to serve unquestioningly in their own army. Some manage to escape these orphan houses are try to live on the streets. The Arbiters don't mind them, for the most part, as long as they don't attempt to disrupt the day to day operations of public areas." Jordahn said.

"Is this a regular thing for all the cities?" Louis asked.

Jordahn shook her head. "No, but most likely they will begin implementing the process into the rest of their cities as soon as they can."

It was at that moment that Louis saw a different sort of Arbiter approaching them. This new one didn't have the blood red robes, but instead wore black robes with gold lining along the collar and sleeves. Obviously, this Arbiter was more prominent in the hierarchy of the system, considering none of the Unit had ever seen one wearing black before. The black-robed Arbiter stood in front of Jordahn and stared at her at eye level. The Arbiter had two red-robed Arbiters at his side, each carrying an Executioner's Blade.

For several moments, the Arbiter simply stared at Jordahn, but then he extended his arm, holding out as if waiting for Jordahn to give him something.

"Show me your credentials." he spoke in a deep voice.

"My what?" Jordahn replied.

"Your credentials. You do not walk like true warriors of Terafell's gaze, so I wish to confirm your identity." he responded.

"We have been walking for some time now-" Jordahn tried to explain.

"Hand me your credentials NOW." he interrupted.

Jordahn bit her lip inside of her helmet. They hadn't taken anything besides the robes of the Arbiters and a few food supplies they had killed back at the border of Ai and Kien. Because of that, they had no credentials to speak of to fake their identities as Arbiters. The Arbiter they were now facing realized that, as well.

"You will accompany us." he ordered.

Jordahn looked back to Louis, who smiled beneath his helmet and nodded. In an instant, Louis leapt up and kicked the Arbiter in the head. The two Arbiters beside him were stunned for a moment, not sure of how this one person could jump so high. However, they quickly threw caution and surprise to the wind and charged at the Unit, but they were already ready for them. Jordahn slammed her axe into the nearest one, piercing his chest and killing him. The other one made the mistake of trying to grab Louis, who quickly slammed his fist into the Arbiter's helmet. Not only was the Arbiter's helmet cracked and destroyed, but also Louis slammed so far into it that he managed to hit his face at the same time.

Jordahn quickly threw off her helmet and proclaimed, "Run!"

The Unit didn't need to be told twice. They immediately began to run down the streets deeper into Walsz, stripping off the Arbiter garb while they were moving. Although it might've been a wise idea to remain inconspicuous, it was obvious to the group that they would be unable to remain incognito while they had no credentials or paperwork certifying who they claimed to be. And so, as they were running, the red robes of the Terafell Arbiters were substituted with the leather armor of the Kien military and Louis' Linkaran armor.

Arbiters from all across the streets started pursuing them when they saw who they were. Many of them didn't have weapons, but they still were dangerous in high numbers. Jordahn considered ordering the group to scatter in hopes of evading them, but realized that being picked off one at a time wasn't an honorable way for Kien soldiers to die.

"This way!"

Both Jordahn and Louis heard the voice calling to them and looked to where it came from. A small boy was standing in an alleyway and trying to encourage the Unit to follow him. Seeing that they had nothing to lose, Jordahn altered the direction she was running and the Unit followed closely behind her. The Arbiters fifty feet behind them assumed they had them cornered, considering that the alleyway ended when it came to a building on the other end of it. However, as soon as they entered the alleyway, the Unit and the boy were gone. The leads stopped, looking around and trying to locate the Unit. After three minutes of looking under trash bags and air vents, the Arbiters gave up and turned around, checking to see if they had gone down a different street.

Louis slowly opened the doorway that was made of pure bricks. He peeked his head around the corner and smiled when he saw that the Arbiters had gone.

"It's clear." he stated.

Louis slowly walked outside of the small room they had been crammed in to and stretched his arms. The area that the boy had led them to was a small storage closet for the building that, for some reason or another, had been constructed so that the door was made of bricks but opened just as easily as any other door. The boy hid them inside of it and closed the door, making it look like they had disappeared into thin air.

"Thank you, child. Your help was most appreciated." Jordahn said.

"Don't think of mentioning it. Are you from Kien?" the boy asked.

Louis nodded. "Yes. We're on a mission that could mean victory in this war. Do you have any parents you can go to hide yourself better than in an alley?"

The boy looked down, shaking his head. "When the Arbiters first took the city, my parents were slaughtered when they attempted to fight back. They managed to get one Arbiter before they were killed."

"I'm sure your parents died with honor and love for you in their hearts. Have you been living on the street since then?" Jordahn said.

"Yes. I've become something of a wonder around the city, because I know so many ways to evade detection and steal food to live off of. I've also been trying to form up a Conlum Resistance force to fight back against the Arbiters, but most are too scared or stupid to move against them." he explained.

"I'm sure in time you'll be able to attain this, but unfortunately, we have our own problems. We're on a rescue mission, so we need to have access to some credentials that will allow us to get to a certain building." Louis said.

"Credentials aren't too difficult to forge. Here, you can follow me back to my workspace and I'll make some for you." the boy said.

*

It was another two hours before Louis and Jordahn were on the move. Believing that more than two people would appear suspicious, Jordahn instructed the others to wait and protect their temporary dwelling (the basement of an abandoned bakery near the edge of the city) while she and Louis went to the military building to retrieve Algaren. They were wearing the spare Terafell Arbiter cloaks that they had brought along with them in the event that the others would be damaged or lost. They also carried forged documents that signified that they were a part of the local police force and therefore had the right to interrogate any they wished to.

The plan was to get into the building, request to interrogate Algaren, and then slip him out of the city as quickly as possible. So far, the plan was working well. No one had stopped or given them a second glance (with the exception of Ai citizens, who had to bow to them when they approached). The military building that they arrived at had only one guard in front of the main gate, which made their job considerably easier if they had to fight their way in to get to Algaren. They approached the guard and Jordahn held up her identification pass.

"We are here to speak to a clerk named Aloren." she said.

The man stared at them, bewildered.

"Aloren?" he asked.

"Yes. Kindly go inside and get him for us or allow us entry to retrieve him." Louis said.

"You are making a joke, yes?" the Arbiter asked.

Jordahn and Louis exchanged glances, then looked back at the Arbiter.

"No, of course not. Why?" Jordahn inquired.

"Aloren was arrested two days ago for acts of treason against the Terafell Arbiters. He's slated to be executed with the other prisoners in about five minutes in the main square."
RiffingShow
"Please, sir, it's raining! Allow us to set up shelter!"

Louis shook his head as his eye twitched angrily.
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"Just be thankful that I allowed you all to remove the Arbiter uniforms to protect them as we traveled towards Walsz!" he shouted.
What? The invincible evil bad guy armor can't handle a bit of water?
"Captain, please! It's cold and we can't take much more of this!" Jordahn said.

"Soldiers on my world can certainly take it!" Louis growled.

"I have news for you, Captain: this is not your world! These men are not used to rain in such quantities, or at all, for that matter!" Jordahn exclaimed.
"Back in my world, we march naked through rainstorms and snow. And we like it!"
"All right, very well. Let's get out of this weather." he said.
Pussy. You morphing back to Mr. Nice Guy or something?

*
Indow growled and sighed as the Dark Knight that had been holding her shoved her back into the cell she had spent a short time in the other day.
Aaaand another action scene has been skipped.
"It wasn't too difficult to find you, Priestess. A simple locater spell with the Dark Sorcerers easily identified your position.
What do these simple spells hone in on, exactly? How do you tell it who to find? Have you collected some blood and flayed skin from your BDSM session last book?
"Thanks to the locater spell we put on you the instant you left, we now know where an attack will most likely come from, if an attack even happens!" she stated.
Ah, so it's a tracker, but magic.
"Oh, simple Priest, how ignorant you are of the changing world around us. You obviously have a very large problem with the idea of a free culture away from the harsh whip of tyranny that is the monarchy." Myrrha stated.
Those are some very smooth lines.
Also aren't you a queen?
Myrrha rolled her eyes and sighed. "It's not a 'Queen' in the sense you're used to, you primitive fool. Do not worry, you may be able to see in time the true height of what I'm trying to achieve."
I think this is cultural appropriation.
"Just do try to do it before the ceremony, for after that, you won't be understanding anything except how much pain you will experience there."
Man, your gloating has really gone to shit.
"We fought as valiantly as we could, but they overwhelmed us. Then, by using mass Teleportation Vortices, they brought us back here."
Screw deciding where everything is in relation to everything else. Just have everyone teleport all over the place off-screen!
"They took the key from me and ensured that my hands could not take another one from them. I'm afraid that I have no way of freeing us." Lithmenar said, still smiling.

Indow sighed and narrowed her eyes at him. "Some thief you are."
"Boo-hoo. They took the key from me and made extra sure I won't escape again. You suck, you fucking loser!"

*
Louis glared over the ridge of the hill he stood upon and down upon the small Terafell Arbiter encampment at the base of the large hill. Jordahn was at his side, her lip quivering as she anticipated what his next action would be.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! CHARGE!
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It was now night, so the only indication that they were there was actually the fires that illuminated their camp.
Fires illuminate shit, you know? Also what about the stars and the moon?
Jordahn had finally had enough. She knew that even with the help of her brethren in the Unit, they could not defeat Louis by fighting him. She knew open resistance through words in front of the Unit, undermining him, would not work. Louis was a stubborn teenager, and she knew that she could only do one thing that wouldn't get her injured so she could finally explain to him why he was wrong.

She grabbed onto his ear and pulled it really hard.

"Ow, ow, ow! Leftant [sic], what the hell are you-"

"Come with me." she simply said, pulling Louis by the ear away from the Unit.
Image

"Not ear-pulling! The Great Linkara's one weakness!"
"You have to stop." she stated.

"Jordahn-" Louis began.

"No, you HAVE to stop!" Jordahn yelled, interrupting him.

"I don't HAVE to do anything! I am doing this to save lives!" Louis shouted back at her.

"You act not as a man trying to save lives, but as a man on a vendetta for blood!

You are acting more and more like a Terafell Arbiter than as a man!" Jordahn growled.
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Louis narrowed his eyes and stormed up to Jordahn's face. "Don't you ever compare me to those monsters! How dare you even begin to contemplate that I am anything like them!"
"I'm a violent psychopath in super-armor. I am nothing like those Terafellas!"
"Well, you'll forgive me, Leftant [sic], if I don't think your fucking honor of all things is a logical reason for war with the Arbiters!"

"Then what is, oh 'Linkara?!' What possible justification is there for any action to be taken against the Arbiters as you have?!"

"Oh, here we go!" Louis growled, rolling his eyes.

"What are you talking about?!" Jordahn demanded to know.
Image
"You know, you're a real piece of work, you know that? You and every other goddamned tree-hugging commie hippie fucker! Oh no, we can't go to war with Iraq, it's none of our business! This isn't a war on terror, it's a war on Islam! Hitler isn't a fascist dictator hoping for world domination, he's a fairly stable leader with a Charlie Chaplin moustache! We only want Kuwait's oil! We're desecrating holy land! On and on you people constantly open your mouths but it's only an excuse to avoid the fact that people are dying and no one is doing anything to save them!"
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"This war we're fighting isn't about principles, religions, or conquest, Jordahn, it's about life! I am not doing the things I do because I like to kill, Jordahn, but because I want to save LIFE! God forbid we actually care about human life on this planet! No one can ever see the fucking picture! Do none of you people ever look out the goddamned window?! In Saudi Arabia, seventeen schoolgirls burned to death because the religious police wouldn't let the girls escape from a burning building because they weren't wearing the proper dress! In Iraq, Saddam Hussein tested chemical and biological weapons on a village just to test their effectiveness and staged a massacre of Iraqi Kurds in the name of ethnic cleansing! Iran, Pakistan, North Korea; half the world has gone to hell in a hand basket but we refuse to do anything about it because we're so caught up in the idea of hating anything our leaders have to say because we supposedly can't trust them anymore! Eleven million people died because of the Nazis! Three thousand people died in the World Trade Center attacks on 9/11! And hundreds of people die every day on the streets of Israel because of suicide bombings! Look around you, Jordahn!"
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"And what am I supposed to see?!" Jordahn growled.

"You're supposed to see the horrible things that happen all around you and do something about them! How about extremist groups not only bent on religious terrorism, but domestic terrorists like Neo Nazis and the Ku Klux Klan?! How about the people who raise their kids to hate other people, eh?! How about the sickos out there who convince innocent children that it's right to hate someone else because of their skin color or who they want to fall in love with?! The Arbiters are no goddamned different than any of the organizations from my world! All that's different is the NAMES. Al Quaeda or Arbiters! Hitler or the Darkness! I refuse to let it happen anymore, Jordahn! Do you hear me?! I won't let it happen anymore!"
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"I don't even know what you're talking about!" Jordahn stated, backing off.

"I... I don't even know what I'm saying anymore."

Louis winced once more, then sat down on a rock, putting his head in his hands as a tear escaped his eye. He began to slowly rock back and forth, breathing carefully as he held his face in his hands.

"There's so much evil on my world, Jordahn. I'm not sure if there's more on yours or mine."
Not even Hitler made water black, so I'd say Sin is more evil.
All I can do when I see an Arbiter is see the millions if not billions of people who have died because of evil. I hear the voices of the people who have been wronged, whose lives and ways of life have been ripped from them because of the acts of madmen.
Look at Mr. Savior Complex over here :roll:
Do you realize just how hard it is to be an optimist in this world?
Have you tried not being an optimist?
"After all, if we do that, what will be left when the evil is gone?" Jordahn asked.

Louis put his hand on her's. "A hollow shell. No happiness. No celebration. No glory or vengeance for the dead. Perhaps the Darkness won our battle, after all. He turned me into the very thing he was creating with the Dark Knights: a joyless, mindless soldier bent on destruction and suppression of free will. You're right, Jordahn. I have made some colossal mistakes as our leader. Perhaps it is time for me to get back on track with the mission."
Oh, I'm sure you'll come up with an excuse to be an asshole again in due time.
"Listen carefully, troops! Jordahn and I just had a little talk, and she's managed to convince me that I've made a hell of a lot of mistakes while being in charge."
She basically just said you're crazy and that you're talking nonsense about shit she's never heard of.
"I am resigning my position of Captain of this Unit and appointing Leftant, no, I'm sorry, Captain Jordahn Aver as my replacement!" he proclaimed.
Oh, I'm sure Linkara will never question her orders :roll:
"Hail she who has become our Captain! Hail Jordahn!"

The soldier began repeating 'hail' over and over, and the entire Unit quickly joined in unison with him, pumping their fists into the air and shouting 'hail.'
This warms my Germanic heart.
"Furthermore, for my next official act as Captain, I am appointing Louis Williamson as my Leftant [sic]." Jordahn stated.
Image

*
There was another Dark Knight in the room, who looked pretty similar to Antillitz, in the ways that Dark Knights look the same.
The blokes who (apparently) all look the same, in a shocking turn of events, turn out to all look the same.
"Well, it was wonderful to meet you both. You know, Myrrha has appointed me as her adjutant for the time being, and one of my duties is seeking out candidates for Consuls of the local government we're going to establish. I'd like to appoint two people who will be an embodiment and symbol of the new system, and you two might be just what I'm looking for."
Hooray for nepotism.
Also how many consuls do you need? Even the Romans only had two.
To try to encourage the idea that they were a free society, each person would work on their own home, dwelling, and surrounding.
And the professional soldiers know how to build/renovate houses because...?
White Raven found Myrrha on top of the animal furs with a man, and both were quite naked. White Raven stared at them for a moment as they finished having sex with one another.
Image
"Empol wishes to have a child to raise."

"And so you are then selling yourself out with the promise of birthing children?" White Raven asked.

"Not selling, doing only what the law says." Myrrha replied.

"Law?"

Yes. I've drafted a few laws for us to confirm once we've established a government. One of them include a requirement for all the women of the city to be willing to take on multiple partners, if necessary, to bear more children. Both of us, included." Myrrha said.
Fucking Mormons.
"Isn't that a little unfair to the women of the Legion? We're forcing them to bear the responsibility of childbirth." White Raven stated.

Myrrha shrugged. "After the Hundred Year War, the five lands legalized prostitution in an attempt to recover the populations that were destroyed because of the war. The principle's no different."
LMAO.
"We shall repopulate the world with bastard children and literal sons of bitches!"
Myrrha held her hair up as she tied some type of bra (although having sides that were as wide as a shirt) around her chest.
Oh, come on. Even the Greeks had bras.
Image
"We wish to allow the people here to express the emotions that the Darkness expressed, so the mandatory pregnancy will only applied to those currently not involved romantically involved."
"If you can't find a boyfriend, you will be send to the breeding farms."
"Is it even possible for us to have children? I have never heard of an instance when it was done..."

"That's because the Darkness deeply discouraged sexual fraternization between soldiers, although did not forbid it. I believe he did, though, suppress our ability to have children while we were Dark Knights because he wanted each 'pure descent' Dark Knight to be one that joined him from the outside and not born into it naturally."
Linkara (the author) spent way too much time on this.
And it's still stupid.

*
"It seems... smaller than I remember."

Louis was referring to Walsz.
Image

Boy, it sure is funny how much a place can change in a thousand years.
As with the city of Kuen, citizens who were taken by the Arbiters when they conquered Ai wore red triangles on their chest and bowed anytime they had to come face to face with an Arbiter in robes.
Not bowing before an Arbiter, that's a paddlin'.
"There aren't any children around here." one of the Unit stated.

"Arbiter children are usually trained to be soldiers when they reach seven years old. For eight years, they undergo intensive physical training and then are given the choice to return to society or continue serving the armed forces. Most choose to stay with the Arbiter military, since they know it so well." Jordahn explained from behind her helmet.
How long would a catgirl be stuck in this training? Do they go by physical or actual age?
"What about the children who were Aian citizens? What's happened to them?" Louis asked.

"All taken by the Arbiters. Most are put into orphanages and are usually taken by Arbiters who require pageboys or clerks for a cheap price, or are taken to be brainwashed by the Arbiters and to serve unquestioningly in their own army.
Shouldn't they all get some brainwashing?
It was at that moment that Louis saw a different sort of Arbiter approaching them. This new one didn't have the blood red robes, but instead wore black robes with gold lining along the collar and sleeves. Obviously, this Arbiter was more prominent in the hierarchy of the system, considering none of the Unit had ever seen one wearing black before.
Could be a trainee, though.
For several moments, the Arbiter simply stared at Jordahn, but then he extended his arm, holding out as if waiting for Jordahn to give him something.
Enough with this shit already. Why the fuck is everyone so goddamn autistic when it comes to greetings?
"Show me your credentials." he spoke in a deep voice.
:?
"My what?" Jordahn replied.

"Your credentials. You do not walk like true warriors of Terafell's gaze, so I wish to confirm your identity." he responded.
The walk of a true warrior:
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"We have been walking for some time now-" Jordahn tried to explain.

"Hand me your credentials NOW." he interrupted.
How come Gyaru Casca has to deal with the rules nazi while Linkara just had to make a stupid joke about how many people he had killed?
They hadn't taken anything besides the robes of the Arbiters and a few food supplies they had killed back at the border of Ai and Kien.
Those poor food supplies.
The two Arbiters beside him were stunned for a moment, not sure of how this one person could jump so high.
Kicking their boss probably also helped.
Jordahn slammed her axe into the nearest one, piercing his chest and killing him.
Oh, so their armor isn't special after all.
How did two Terafellas manage to wipe out your previous unit, Gyaru Casca?
The other one made the mistake of trying to grab Louis, who quickly slammed his fist into the Arbiter's helmet. Not only was the Arbiter's helmet cracked and destroyed, but also Louis slammed so far into it that he managed to hit his face at the same time.
That guy is probably dead, as well.
Although it might've been a wise idea to remain inconspicuous, it was obvious to the group that they would be unable to remain incognito while they had no credentials or paperwork certifying who they claimed to be. And so, as they were running, the red robes of the Terafell Arbiters were substituted with the leather armor of the Kien military and Louis' Linkaran armor.
Great. Now they don't have to ask for your loicense to know you're the enemy.
Arbiters from all across the streets started pursuing them when they saw who they were. Many of them didn't have weapons
Why? Do they have an axe shortage?
Louis slowly walked outside of the small room they had been crammed in to and stretched his arms. The area that the boy had led them to was a small storage closet for the building that, for some reason or another, had been constructed so that the door was made of bricks but opened just as easily as any other door. The boy hid them inside of it and closed the door, making it look like they had disappeared into thin air.
How very convenient. You get saved by a random boy who just so happens to live in a house with a secret fucking door.
"Yes. I've become something of a wonder around the city, because I know so many ways to evade detection and steal food to live off of. I've also been trying to form up a Conlum Resistance force to fight back against the Arbiters, but most are too scared or stupid to move against them." he explained.
The People's Front of Walsz leaves something to be desired.
"Credentials aren't too difficult to forge. Here, you can follow me back to my workspace and I'll make some for you." the boy said.
What's with this kid? Is he like quarter catboy and actually 50?

*
Believing that more than two people would appear suspicious, Jordahn instructed the others to wait and protect their temporary dwelling...
Well, it's not like those nameless goons actually matter, so no big loss here.
... while she and Louis went to the military building to retrieve Algaren.
(That's the guy with the super-important secret that can turn the tide of war, if you've forgotten. I know I almost did.)
The plan was to get into the building, request to interrogate Algaren, and then slip him out of the city as quickly as possible.
Wait. How do you know that he's been captured already?
"We are here to speak to a clerk named Aloren." she said.
I'm gonna assume that "Aloren" is Algaren's fake identity. It's only used in this exchange and never properly explained, so it's a bit confusing.
"Yes. Kindly go inside and get him for us or allow us entry to retrieve him." Louis said.

"You are making a joke, yes?" the Arbiter asked.

Jordahn and Louis exchanged glances, then looked back at the Arbiter.

"No, of course not. Why?" Jordahn inquired.
That can't be good.
"Aloren was arrested two days ago for acts of treason against the Terafell Arbiters. He's slated to be executed with the other prisoners in about five minutes in the main square."
Next Time: Boy, I sure wonder if Linkara will manage to change the course of history when we've already been told that he can't.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Tue Feb 11, 2025 9:31 pm

Book 2, Chapter 10 - Questionable Intent
(Or: Wasting Time with the Linkster)



Will Indow and gang manage to escape a second time? Will anything that Raven does amount to anything? And will Linkara manage to save the prince and change history for the better?

Well, I dunno about the first two, but we already know that Linkara has to ultimately fail, for the almighty prophecy has said so.
RecapShow
Past

We hit this book's first "Face of an ANGRY GOD" moment, as Gyaru Casca has gotten sick and tired of Linkara's bloodlust and general bullshit and starts an intervention.
They scream and shout at each other like the bitches they are, then Linkara just kinda breaks down and starts whining and moaning incoherently about all the bad things that have ever happened in the 20th and 21th century, and how it's sooo haaard to be an optimist and an invincible flying demigod if your savior and superiority complexes are pressuring you to save everyone, everywhere and forever.

Sometimes, I really wish he'd listen to his own advice some more.
Book 1, Chapter 11 wrote:Jeez... You angsty characters are all alike. 'Oh, my life was so horrible!' and 'Oh, why can't I just die?' You want to die? FINE. Go kill yourself, then! Slit your damn wrists, hang yourself, fall off a cliff, I DON'T CARE.
Then Gyaru Casca's all like "LMAO nigga, I don't have any idea WTF you're talkin' about", and Linkara just hands over the captain rank to her.
You know, if a captain can just give away his rank, Gyaru Casca could've probably just extorted it out of one of her previous captains.

Now that I think about it, this is kinda like how Linkara (the comic reviewer) handed over leadership of the CTC Collective over to Marzgurl, for she turned out to be more "worthy" during the audio drama storyline.
At least that's how I remember it, and I ain't gonna listen to that shit again to confirm. I'm still having PTSD from the terrible audio quality.

Anyhow, they finally reach Walsz, where they swiftly blow their cover because apparently Terafellas need loicenses.
This feels like a pointless retcon to me to crowbar in some new characters, namely some kind of Terafella officer, and the People's Front of Walsz (aka just some kid who helps them shake off the Terafellas).

Equipped with fake loicenses, Linkara and Gyaru Casca confidentally go to where the prince is being held - only to find out that he's already been taken and will get his head chopped off in about 5 minutes.

Present

The fellowship is mostly useless, as they've been captured again. The only noteworthy bit is that Indow is oddly passive-aggressive at Lithmenar because he no longer has a convenient key to get them out a second time.
Also it turns out that Myrrha hates monarchies, but it's totally different when she styles herself "queen". Sure, honey.

Raven is still just faffing about, and we learn that Myrrha effectively plans to have all Dark Knight ladies without a boyfriend effectively sent to a breeding farm where they are to be gangbanged and impregnated for the glory of Dark Wakanda.
We also find out that the Dark Knights have never reproduced before, which is an odd decision from the Darkness seeing how it considered them to be the perfect beings.
I'd say there's a non-zero chance that Dark Knight babies are eldritch horror monsters or something that eat their mother from the inside out.
ChapterShow
"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Louis ran through the streets, screaming the profanity as Jordahn traveled alongside him. They were running towards the main square and hoping it wouldn't be too late to save Prince Algaren before the Arbiters executed him.

"Leftant [sic]! I command you to get to Algaren through any means necessary and rescue him!" Jordahn shouted to him.

"No problem!" Louis replied.

And with that, Louis jumped into the air and sent a signal to his gauntlet that he needed flight as fast as possible. The Arbiter robes he wore quickly split apart as his metallic wings shot out from his back. Louis then commanded the rest of his armor to form up, considering the probable need for a fight once he found Algaren. So Louis felt a cold feeling run through his entire body as the second gauntlet, greaves, and crown all formed up. He flapped his wings once to test them before shooting forward towards the square.

Louis pulled out all the stops, flapping his wings and soaring through the skies to reach the square before Algaren felt light-headed. He saw the square soon enough, considering there was a public spectacle being made of it, just as the execution in Kuen had been. Louis wondered for a moment if this was an everyday occurrence for the people of Ai - with supposed traitors being executed publicly to discourage people from attempting to work against their interests.

He saw the platform and the only person on it that didn't have any red robes was kneeling down, his head being forced onto a block. Louis narrowed his eyes and balled up his fists, shifting his angle downwards. The Executioner raised up his axe, ready to slice off Algaren’s head. Louis gritted his teeth as he extended his arms outwards. The blades slipped out, and he grinned. In an instant, he flew down far enough to ram his right blade into the Executioner.

The huddled crowd all screamed in shock and began to run around in a panic as the dead Executioner fell forward onto what remained of his face. Louis landed on the platform, his wings retracting into him as he sliced his blades at the nearest Arbiter, cutting his axe into three pieces. Another Arbiter stepped forward, but Louis leapt back into the air and kicked this one in the head, knocking him backwards. Algaren had gotten up, his red hair a disheveled mess and his face a collection of cuts and bruises. Louis pulled Algaren by the arm over to him and cut his rope binds.

"Who...?" he asked.

"Prince Algaren, Louis Williamson. There will be time for explanations later, and hopefully some information about the Arbiters!" Louis said.

"Where do I go?!" he asked as Louis quickly punched another Arbiter that tried to approach them.

Louis desperately searched the crowd and smiled as he saw a single person approaching the stage without an Arbiter helmet. It was Jordahn, and she had taken off the Arbiter helmet to identify herself in the crowd. Louis turned back to Algaren and pointed at Jordahn.

"Go with her! She'll lead you to safety!" he said.

Algaren nodded and jumped off the platform down to Jordahn, who caught the short man easily. She then put her helmet back on and covered Algaren in a green cloak to hide him. Louis, meanwhile, turned back to the growing number of Arbiters who were coming onto the stage. He considered for a moment going back into flight, but winced as he saw a line of Arbiters with crossbows and bows. They aimed their arrows straight at Louis, who bit his lip. He looked around, seeing the fact that many more Arbiters had their weapons raised. Louis stopped counting them after twenty-five, but he knew there was at least double that waiting to attack him.

A single black-robed Arbiter stepped forward, his hands behind his back. He stared at Louis through his helmet.

"You will accompany us." he said.

Louis smiled and put up his arms.

*

Louis whistled softly to himself as he sat in a dank room with a single table in it. He was chained to the chair in it, and his armor was retracted into his body. The dungeon he had been brought to was directly within the military building and more to the middle of the complex. There was a single candle above the door that was providing light to the interrogation room, and Louis couldn't be happier. Earlier, when they first brought him in, they had attempted to beat him to try to break his spirit. However, Louis acted defensively in every assault, moving faster than them and using the electrical properties of the armor to discourage anyone from doing anything but chain him. Louis had simply felt like removing the armor for the moment so they could feel more comfortable around him.

The door to the dungeon swung open, revealing that there were two red-robed guards protecting the room from interruption. A single person entered the room, their robes not red or black, but a light sky blue. He was holding several pieces of paper and a feather pen with an ink well. Louis continued smiling at the man as he sat down opposite him at the table.

"Do you know who I am?" the man asked in a light voice.

"Well, judging from your robes, I'd say you were a member of the pussy Arbiters." Louis said, stilling smiling.

The man stared at him. "I beg your pardon?"

"Well, at least, I'd assume it was the pussy Arbiters. I mean, you've got those red-robed Arbiters with their superior strength and the 'My-penis-is-so-small-that-I-have-to-compensate-with-this-thing' axes, and you've got the black-robed Arbiters who just emit an air of evil about them when you're in their presence. But then we've got you, the blue-robed pansy Arbiter who's just a lame-ass interrogator because he long-ago realized that he was a pussy and couldn't handle a military or administrative life." Louis explained.

The interrogator stared at Louis, who leaned back in his chair and continued grinning.

Louis tilted his head. "So, what's up, dickface?"

"Your attitude is not unexpected considering what we've heard about those from Kien. Allow me to explain what your duty is now that you are a prisoner of the Terafell Arbiters..." he began.

Louis leaned forward. "Oh, I'm on the edge of my seat!"

"Now that you are a prisoner of the Terafell Arbiters, it is now a requirement that you pray to he who watches over us: Hasz Terafell."

"Terafell's a pussy." Louis interrupted.

The interrogator continued: "You will pray to him twice a day in the manner we order you to. You will be fed once a day provided you cooperate. Cooperation will be rewarded, resistance will be punished. Cooperate and your food rations will be increased and your standards of living shall increase. Resist and the information will be tortured out of you slowly and you will receive only enough food and life giver to keep you alive."

Louis giggled a little in his seat.

"Please tell me your name and rank." the interrogator said, preparing to write the information on his papers.

"I am the Linkara, all-supreme Jesus figure of the Linkaran religion." he said proudly.

The interrogator stared at Louis. "Your name and rank."

"Rank Pertit." Louis said.

"Your name?"

Louis thought for a moment, and then responded. "Lister of Smeg."

"Do you understand what your conditions are at this moment?" the interrogator asked.

"I do."

"We have heard rumors of the Kien military building up secret invasion forces to attempt to retake Ai from the inside out. Would you please tell me what your Unit was doing inside of Ai?"

"I'd prefer not to."

The interrogator stared at Louis. "I remind you that you are in chains and that we will begin torture of you if you do not cooperate."

"I know."

"Then please tell me what your Unit was doing here."

"I'd prefer not to."

The interrogator put down his pen and clasped his hands in front of him, leaning forward. "I am not an unreasonable man, Lister of Smeg."

Louis suppressed a giggle

"I may not show it, but I do care for your well-being. Your arrogance in this situation is beginning to annoy me, and with a snap of my fingers I can happily have one of those guards come in here and break your legs. Maybe you had some kind of control and power back in the deserts of Kien, with people throwing themselves on their own swords in an attempt to please you, but now you are in Ai, and you are in chains. I am in control and you will obey!"

Louis smiled and held up his arms that were chained together. With one quick movement, he separated his arms, and conveniently, the chains attaching them. The Arbiter tried to call out for help, but Louis moved quicker, his right hand shooting out and grasping the interrogator's neck. He squeezed lightly, not wanting to shock him just yet. The interrogator stared into Louis' eyes as he grinned.

"You are in control? I have snapped your chains like a toothpick and I can snap your neck just as easily. If you send someone in to break me, I will break them. If you try to torture me, I will unleash nightmares the likes of wish you have never seen. I am the Linkara, and because of that I have every reason to be arrogant. So take your fucking questions to someone else and stop wasting my time, you weasely son of a bitch."

Louis pushed forward, releasing the interrogator and letting him fall back into his chair. He quickly gathered his papers and knocked on the door, indicating that he wanted to leave. As soon as the door opened slightly, he rushed out and left Louis alone again. Louis leaned back against his chair and closed his eyes.

"Raindrops keep fallin' on my head..." he sang.

*

"He has a strength and intelligence like I've never seen before!"

Hanasz Rohaq was Chief of the Loyalty Enforcers of the Terafell Arbiters for Walsz. His black helmet had been removed while he worked in his office at the military building, which served as the central operations point for the Arbiter activity within Walsz. His hair was brown and long, extending down the back of his head as a rough beard and moustache covered his head. He was the type of person to obsess about grudges and annoyances for years on end. One in particular was the fact that he had requested that their military building be the former castle of the King of Ai, but the Overlord of Ai determined that the castle needed to be ransacked and used as a symbol for the defeat of Ai instead of as a military complex, which had annoyed Rohaq to no end since he now had to serve in a considerably smaller building and office.

Before him stood the duly appointed interrogator to the office. His blue helmet had been taken off and was sitting on Rohaq's desk. The interrogator, a short man named Remen, ran a hand through his hair in exhaustion as he looked at the file he had begun to write up for their records. Rohaq stared up at him, barely interested in what Remen was saying.

"We've been unable to make him speak about anything, and he has easily broken out of the chains we first placed on him." Remen stated.

Rohaq rolled his eyes. "Simply send an Encourager in to persuade him to inform us of what we want to know!" Rohaq growled.

"We did." Remen responded. "He returned with bruises all over his face and two of his ribs broken."

Rohaq growled and stood up. "This is ridiculous! He's just a boy! Get him to answer the questions!"

"I have been unsuccessful in getting him to answer my-"

Rohaq balled up his fist and slammed it across Remen's face. The short man fell backwards, gasping in pain as the back of his head tapped the wooden floor. Rohaq picked up his black helmet that sat on a coat rack and slipped it onto his head as he walked out of his office.

"I'll do it myself, you worm!" Rohaq shouted.

Stomping his way through the hallways, Rohaq made his way to the cell where Louis was contained. The two guards saluted him as he approached, and he returned the salute before slipping a key into the door lock and opening it. Louis was still sitting in his chair in front of the table, singing softly to himself as he stared at the door. Rohaq walked over to Louis and stared down at him.

"You will answer the questions the interrogator asks of you!" he yelled.

Louis slowly looked up and smiled at Rohaq. "I would prefer not to."

Rohaq growled and sent his fist down at Louis. Louis winced as the fist managed to connect with his face, knocking him out of the chair and rolling to the opposite wall. Rohaq walked over to Louis and was about to kick him in the gut when Louis suddenly twisted around on the ground, low-kicking Rohaq. The blow to his leg sent Rohaq stumbling to the opposite wall, giving Louis the opportunity to get back up and prepare himself.

"Not bad!" Louis said, laughing a little. "You actually got a hit off of me! I commend you for your speed."

"Silence, prisoner!" Rohaq said, turning around and charging at Louis.

Louis smiled and simply stepped to the side once Rohaq was in range, allowing the momentum to carry Rohaq's less-than stellar physique into his leg, which he extended outwards. Rohaq immediately tripped over the leg and fell onto his face, much to his chagrin. Louis walked over and slammed his foot down into Rohaq's back and held him down like that. Rohaq yelled and shouted for Louis to get off of him.

"Release me or I'll-"

"Or you'll what?!" Louis interrupted. "You'll send in more rag dolls for me to throw around? Jeez, you people manage to conquer this continent in the ending years of the war and yet you're THIS retarded?!"

Rohaq stared at Louis blankly, slowly standing up once more. He narrowed his eyes as he slowly backed off from Louis towards the main door. Louis just calmly walked back over to the table and sat down in the chair. He leaned back in the chair, pushing it a little off of its front legs as he began to whistle Frank Sinatra's My Way. Rohaq retreated out of the door, which the guards promptly closed as he exited.

"Now do you believe me?" Remen asked, standing next to the guards.

Rohaq glared at Remen for a moment before looking to one of the guards and ordering, "Kill him."

The guard reacted quickly with Remen's immediate execution.

*

"I want to be the minority, I don't need your authority..." Louis sang silently.

Louis could hear footsteps approaching, indicating that the Arbiters were going to once again attempt to interrogate him for the seventh time that day. He was truly enjoying the experience, finding it interesting how they didn't realize that they couldn't harm him. However, Louis then stopped singing and became more serious. He thought back to the first few months of his quest, and realized that perhaps a stubborn and superior attitude wasn't the best thing in this situation. Louis could certainly escape anytime he wanted, but who knows what they would do if he got away. They may start tracking him, knowing that he would lead them to their prey.

Louis also remembered how his superior attitude had cost the respect and admiration from the Unit members. He calmed down and glared at the cell door as Rohaq entered, a guard at his side. The Arbiter guard was holding a townsperson, male, who appeared very malnourished in his brown, raggedy outfit. Rohaq put a blade up against the townsperson's neck and glared at Louis.

"You will tell us what we want to know or he will die." he stated.

Louis stared at them for a moment, and then began to giggle. Rohaq raised an eyebrow in confusion as Louis began to chuckle loudly, pounding his fist on the table happily. Louis stood up from the table, still laughing. As a sign of defense, Rohaq put the blade farther against the townsperson's neck.

"You are such an idiot!" Louis bellowed.

"What are you talking about?!" Rohaq growled.

"You've just put yourself in a classic trap of your own doing!"

"What?"

Louis smiled and sat back down, giggling softly. "This was the worst thing you could've done! I am not going to give you any information that might harm the cause of defeating you! I will not do that to save his life! The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, dumbass! And now you've got yourself in a little dilemma. Now that you've threatened to kill him and I've refused to cooperate, you have two choices: if you kill him, it strengthens my resolve to kill you all and enhances my resistance to your efforts. If you don't kill him, it weakens your position in front of me, making you appear weak and in no way a threat to me! God, you are so fucking stupid!"

Rohaq stared at Louis, twitching. He clenched his teeth, and just as he was about to slit the throat of the townsperson, those inside the room heard a noise from the outside of the room. Rohaq turned away from Louis and the townsperson to see the hilt of a sword slam into his helmet. He fell backwards, stumbling a little to try to regain his balance. Louis, however, stood up and quickly punched Rohaq in the gut hard enough to knock him unconscious. Louis smiled as he turned to face the person who had hit their sword against Rohaq: Jordahn.

Jordahn quickly rammed the sword she had been using through one of the Arbiter guards, killing them instantly and freeing the townsperson.

"Captain! Your timing is impeccable!" Louis laughed.

"Come now, Leftant [sic]! We are leaving this forsaken city!" Jordahn responded, abandoning the sword for her axe.

"What about Algaren? Is he all right?"

Jordahn nodded. "He's safe with us, now come along!"

Louis smiled and nodded, kicking Rohaq in the leg before running out of the room with Jordahn and the townsperson.

*

Louis was tempted to spread his wings to make his escape, but decided that abandoning the townsperson and Jordahn would probably be a bad idea. Instead, he allowed the rest of his armor to completely form up, hoping that their escape would be much easier than their initial entry into the former capitol of Ai. Louis bid the townsperson farewell, instructing him to run in a different direction and seek a child named Keris. He instructed the townsperson to tell Keris to search for others like himself, orphaned children thanks to the Arbiters, and start a resistance to destroy them.

In the meantime, Louis and Jordahn were fleeing the city as fast as they could, killing any Arbiters that stood in their way. The other members of the Unit were scattered along their escape route to make their task easier, allowing them to clear away more resistance to their running. The exit of the city was not far away, being the only known entrance or exit. Fortunately, a barricade wasn't set up to keep out invaders, giving the Unit as much freedom as they needed to get out of the large city.

However, Louis stopped for a moment when he heard something coming up behind them. Louis continued to move, but looked behind him to see what was going on. Louis winced, the blood draining from his face as he saw two dragons rise up from the other end of the city and take flight, obviously heading towards them. Louis gulped, looking forward once more to the entrance of the city that he cleared in only a few seconds.

"Shit in a basket..." he whispered.
RiffingShow
"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
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They were running towards the main square and hoping it wouldn't be too late to save Prince Algaren before the Arbiters executed him.
You know you can fly, right?
"Leftant [sic]! I command you to get to Algaren through any means necessary and rescue him!" Jordahn shouted to him.

"No problem!" Louis replied.

And with that, Louis jumped into the air and sent a signal to his gauntlet that he needed flight as fast as possible.
Oh, so he only use his amazing powers when his new captain orders him to. What is this shit, Metroid: Other M?
Louis wondered for a moment if this was an everyday occurrence for the people of Ai - with supposed traitors being executed publicly to discourage people from attempting to work against their interests.
That's kind of the point of public executions in general, isn't it? "Come, and see what happens to idiots who break the law too hard!"

Plus it was a great spectacle for the whole family.
The Executioner raised up his axe, ready to slice off Algaren’s head. Louis gritted his teeth as he extended his arms outwards. The blades slipped out, and he grinned. In an instant, he flew down far enough to ram his right blade into the Executioner.
If speed is of the essence, why not shoot lightning? Or can you only do that against the Darkness?
Another Arbiter stepped forward, but Louis leapt back into the air and kicked this one in the head, knocking him backwards.
What's the deal with that high-jumping head kick you keep doing, anyways? And what happened to your groin kick?
"Where do I go?!" he asked as Louis quickly punched another Arbiter that tried to approach them.

Louis desperately searched the crowd and smiled as he saw a single person approaching the stage without an Arbiter helmet. It was Jordahn, and she had taken off the Arbiter helmet to identify herself in the crowd. Louis turned back to Algaren and pointed at Jordahn.

"Go with her! She'll lead you to safety!" he said.
Can't you just grab the guy and fly away?
Sure, I know Gyaru Casca will escape because she has to survive, but I'm not getting my hopes up for Prince Bothan Spy here.
Algaren nodded and jumped off the platform down to Jordahn, who caught the short man easily. She then put her helmet back on and covered Algaren in a green cloak to hide him.
What is there to hide? The whole town is here. Everyone saw you.
He considered for a moment going back into flight, but winced as he saw a line of Arbiters with crossbows and bows. They aimed their arrows straight at Louis, who bit his lip.
"HMMM, just how will I get Linkara captured despite the fact that he could fly away at any time? Ah, I know! The Arbiters remember that ranged weapons exist!"
- Linkara (the author), probably

Boy, it sure would've sucked if they had (cross)bows earlier.
If you ask me, I'm pretty sure he could just do one of his trademark high jumps that always surprise the Terafellas, and then just fly away. Hitting a moving target is bad enough if it isn't zooming around in three dimensions.
And has like everyone forgotten about the prince and Gyaru Casca? You can't really vanish if you're the main attraction of a public execution.
"You will accompany us." he said.

Louis smiled and put up his arms.
It sure is nice that all these bad guys never lay a finger on their captives. Would be pretty fun if someone bonked him from behind and he'd wake up with a missing hand and a few missing teeth, just so the Terafellas could assert their dominance and make him more "cooperative".

*
The dungeon he had been brought to was directly within the military building and more to the middle of the complex.
That's... helpfully unhelpful.
The dungeon he had been brought to was directly within the military building and more to the middle of the complex.
That's an odd spot for a candle.
Earlier, when they first brought him in, they had attempted to beat him to try to break his spirit. However, Louis acted defensively in every assault, moving faster than them and using the electrical properties of the armor to discourage anyone from doing anything but chain him.
Great. They can't lay a finger on him, and he just let himself get captured because he felt like it.
This is off to a great start.
"Do you know who I am?" the man asked in a light voice.

"Well, judging from your robes, I'd say you were a member of the pussy Arbiters." Louis said, stilling smiling.

The man stared at him. "I beg your pardon?"
Image

Smug Linkara is back, bitches.
This chapter will be painful.
"Well, at least, I'd assume it was the pussy Arbiters. I mean, you've got those red- robed Arbiters with their superior strength and the 'My-penis-is-so-small-that-I-have-to- compensate-with-this-thing' axes, and you've got the black-robed Arbiters who just emit an air of evil about them when you're in their presence. But then we've got you, the blue-robed pansy Arbiter who's just a lame-ass interrogator because he long-ago realized that he was a pussy and couldn't handle a military or administrative life." Louis explained.

The interrogator stared at Louis, who leaned back in his chair and continued grinning.
Dude.
Louis tilted his head. "So, what's up, dickface?"

"Your attitude is not unexpected considering what we've heard about those from Kien. Allow me to explain what your duty is now that you are a prisoner of the Terafell Arbiters..." he began.

Louis leaned forward. "Oh, I'm on the edge of my seat!"
This is like the one scene were being a smug asshole can get Linkara pimp-slapped, so of course the interrogator is a passive bitch that isn't doing shit.
"Now that you are a prisoner of the Terafell Arbiters, it is now a requirement that you pray to he who watches over us: Hasz Terafell."

"Terafell's a pussy." Louis interrupted.
Of course, insulting the religious zealot's god does have no repercussions at all.
The interrogator continued: "You will pray to him twice a day in the manner we order you to. You will be fed once a day provided you cooperate.
We're never gonna see Linkara starving, are we?
"Your name?"

Louis thought for a moment, and then responded. "Lister of Smeg."
It's funnier when The Simpsons did it.
Image
The interrogator put down his pen and clasped his hands in front of him, leaning forward. "I am not an unreasonable man, Lister of Smeg."

Louis suppressed a giggle
I don't get it.
"I may not show it, but I do care for your well-being."
Man, you're a pussy. No wonder this interrogation has gone to shit.
With a snap of my fingers I can happily have one of those guards come in here and break your legs.
By all means do it.
Louis smiled and held up his arms that were chained together. With one quick movement, he separated his arms, and conveniently, the chains attaching them. The Arbiter tried to call out for help, but Louis moved quicker, his right hand shooting out and grasping the interrogator's neck. He squeezed lightly, not wanting to shock him just yet. The interrogator stared into Louis' eyes as he grinned.

"You are in control?"
Image
Louis leaned back against his chair and closed his eyes.

"Raindrops keep fallin' on my head..." he sang.
So Linkara just putting up with this shit for shits and giggles?
Also quoting song lyrics without a loicense might not be a wise idea.

*
"We've been unable to make him speak about anything, and he has easily broken out of the chains we first placed on him." Remen stated.

Rohaq rolled his eyes. "Simply send an Encourager in to persuade him to inform us of what we want to know!" Rohaq growled.

"We did." Remen responded. "He returned with bruises all over his face and two of his ribs broken."

Rohaq growled and stood up. "This is ridiculous! He's just a boy! Get him to answer the questions!"
A boy who can fly and summon a suit of celestial super-armor. You must've seen that shit, right?
And the captive is beating up people, and they're just gonna put up with that? Man this place sucks.
Rohaq growled and sent his fist down at Louis. Louis winced as the fist managed to connect with his face, knocking him out of the chair and rolling to the opposite wall. Rohaq walked over to Louis and was about to kick him in the gut when Louis suddenly twisted around on the ground, low-kicking Rohaq. The blow to his leg sent Rohaq stumbling to the opposite wall, giving Louis the opportunity to get back up and prepare himself.

"Not bad!" Louis said, laughing a little. "You actually got a hit off of me! I commend you for your speed."
Does Linkara have super-endurance now or something?
"Silence, prisoner!" Rohaq said, turning around and charging at Louis.

Louis smiled and simply stepped to the side once Rohaq was in range, allowing the momentum to carry Rohaq's less-than stellar physique into his leg, which he extended outwards. Rohaq immediately tripped over the leg and fell onto his face, much to his chagrin. Louis walked over and slammed his foot down into Rohaq's back and held him down like that. Rohaq yelled and shouted for Louis to get off of him.
I'm pretty sure this counts as an escape attempt.
But they're still just gonna try to interrogate him, right?
Louis just calmly walked back over to the table and sat down in the chair. He leaned back in the chair, pushing it a little off of its front legs as he began to whistle Frank Sinatra's My Way.
Image

Any particular reason why he's not trying to escape?
"Now do you believe me?" Remen asked, standing next to the guards.

Rohaq glared at Remen for a moment before looking to one of the guards and ordering, "Kill him."

The guard reacted quickly with Remen's immediate execution.
Good to know that the Terafellas employs ruthless violence where it makes the least sense.

*
Louis could hear footsteps approaching, indicating that the Arbiters were going to once again attempt to interrogate him for the seventh time that day.
Maybe they should try the "no food for your" tactic. Any more interrogations this day are just gonna encourage Linkara more.
He was truly enjoying the experience, finding it interesting how they didn't realize that they couldn't harm him.
Seriously, when did you turn into Superman?
He thought back to the first few months of his quest, and realized that perhaps a stubborn and superior attitude wasn't the best thing in this situation.
Image
Louis could certainly escape anytime he wanted, but who knows what they would do if he got away. They may start tracking him, knowing that he would lead them to their prey.
You can fly, and they don't even have horses. With what are they gonna track you? The dragons? They're pretty hard not to spot, and you can one-shot them, remember?
Or, I dunno, just fuck off into the wrong direction. It's not like you have to join up with the others if that would risk the mission.
Louis also remembered how his superior attitude had cost the respect and admiration from the Unit members.
Image
The Arbiter guard was holding a townsperson, male, who appeared very malnourished in his brown, raggedy outfit. Rohaq put a blade up against the townsperson's neck and glared at Louis.

"You will tell us what we want to know or he will die." he stated.
Silly Terafella. Thinking that the Great Linkara cares about NPCs.
Louis stared at them for a moment, and then began to giggle.
See?!
You are such an idiot!" Louis bellowed.

"What are you talking about?!" Rohaq growled.

"You've just put yourself in a classic trap of your own doing!"
Image
"Now that you've threatened to kill him and I've refused to cooperate, you have two choices: if you kill him, it strengthens my resolve to kill you all and enhances my resistance to your efforts. If you don't kill him, it weakens your position in front of me, making you appear weak and in no way a threat to me! God, you are so fucking stupid!"
Image

TBF, I don't think his position could be weakened any more, not after the clown show that is this god-forsaken mess of a fucking chapter.
Jordahn quickly rammed the sword she had been using through one of the Arbiter guards, killing them instantly and freeing the townsperson.

"Captain! Your timing is impeccable!" Louis laughed.
Why are you still here? Dude can piss off and fly away whenever he wants. He doesn't need you risking your life so you can give him the permission to piss off.
"What about Algaren? Is he all right?"

Jordahn nodded. "He's safe with us, now come along!"
I doubt that.

*
Louis was tempted to spread his wings to make his escape, but decided that abandoning the townsperson and Jordahn would probably be a bad idea.
Have you ever even tried carrying someone with you?
He instructed the townsperson to tell Keris to search for others like himself, orphaned children thanks to the Arbiters, and start a resistance to destroy them.
Naturally, the People's Front of Walsz never thought about starting a resistance before. Good thing they have the Linkara and his innovative ideas to guide them.
The other members of the Unit were scattered along their escape route to make their task easier, allowing them to clear away more resistance to their running.
Why should they risk their lives like that? You're invincible, dude.
The exit of the city was not far away, being the only known entrance or exit.
That's an... odd city layout.
Fortunately, a barricade wasn't set up to keep out invaders
Don't you mean the gate/portcullis?
Louis winced, the blood draining from his face as he saw two dragons rise up from the other end of the city and take flight
Oh no. Dragons. I am at the edge of my seat.
"Shit in a basket..." he whispered.
Maybe I would give more of a shit when I didn't know you just have to poke these flying lizards once to kill them.
Next Time: Hopefully something that's not goddamn filler JFC fuck this gay chapter.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Wed Feb 12, 2025 8:11 pm

Book 2, Chapter 11 - Allegiances II
(Or: The Siege of Soyah)



Just how will the invincible, flying demigod with overpowered electric attacks get rid of his dragon pursuers? I haven't got the slightest clue.
Also will the other losers ever show up again, or do we have to wait until Linkara gets back to the present so he can bail everyone out?

Oh, and it's another sequel chapter - to chapter 6, to be more specific. I think that that's when Raven joined Dark Lives Matter.
RecapShow
Past
Image

Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.

So Linkara manages to save the prince (for now; I'm giving him 2 chapters tops before the prophecy strikes back) and just lets himself get captured.
I guess he wanted to distract the Terafellas? Seems to have worked because near as I can tell nobody was interested in the escaping prince.

Then we are blessed with seven pages of Linkara (the author) jerking himself off while Linkara (the character) acts like the smuggest of assholes.

Dude effectively squatting in the interrogation room.
They can't put him in shackles he couldn't break out of.
They can't harm him because apparently he's now fucking invulnerable to conventional damage (at least for kicks and punches, but he seems pretty sure they have nothing that could hurt him at all).
The Terafellas have absolutely nothing to compel him to do anything.
He could quite literally just walk out, and there's nothing they could do to stop him. In fact if he really wanted to, he could murder every single motherfucker.

But no, he just keeps squatting like a deranged hobo, giggling like a retard or singing songs when he's not busy brutalizing the Terafellas - who just put up with it because they insist on interrogating the guy who is uncooperative, violent, and an overall menace to Terafell society.

I don't think I could write a hatefic where Linkara was a more insufferable asshole, even if I tried.
Well, maybe if I make him kick puppies for fun.

Eventually we are released from this entertainment purgatory when Gyaru Casca fights her way to the interrogation room and tells Linkara to piss off with her. Then they make a run for it when they notice that they're chased by two dragons. It was a cliffhanger, and we've already established that Linkara can kill dragons with a single poke, so I'm pretty sure nothing will come out of it.

Not a single scene of this retarded interrogation arc was necessary. You could just cut that shit out and just have them escape with the prince without this stupid filler.

The closest thing this goddamn chapter had to a point was to introduce Rohaq, some high-ranking Terafella guy. He's probably gonna be a recurring bad guy, mostly because he has a name, and the book spends like a paragraph describing how good he is at holdind grudges (he's very butthurt that he didn't get the bigger office he wanted).
Not that this introduction was helpful. This entire clown show destroyed what little threat there was left for the Terafellas. They're just a bunch of idiots.

Present
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This was the first chapter without any shit about the present day.
Not that there would be anything exciting going on. The fellowship is stuck in their dungeon and likely need outside help to get out (probably Linkara, maybe Raven). Raven on the other hand is stuck having dumb, meaningless conversations in a surprisingly dull ethnostate sex cult (which may or may not reflect the author's ideal society).
ChapterShow
"We're under attack!"

White Raven didn't like being told things that she already knew. However, the scout was simply doing his job, and White Raven understood that. It seemed inevitable for the forces of the five lands to stage an attack on Soyah after the Dark Knights had taken it from them a few days earlier. Half of the Dark Knights had taken up the task of rebuilding the haphazard defenses of Soyah while the other half worked on construction of the town itself. Morale of the forces was an important thing, and each Dark Knight needed a place to go home to, as Myrrha said.

The rebuilding crews had done a masterful job, reinforcing the rotted city walls and applying more modern architecture to them. Added to that were the defense towers, which carried a heavy arsenal of arrows for launching down into the people. These towers also contained a Dark Sorcerer who used a Chaos Shield to protect them while also firing their own magicks down into the attacking force. From within the cities, lines of Dark Archers and Dark Assassins prepared for the eventuality of the attacking armies forcing their way through the main gate while Assault Squadrons of Dark Knights prepared to do their own part when the Archers and Assassins failed.

White Raven was, ironically, placed in charge of the 27th Eclipsed Legion Assault Squadron, the Dark Knight squadron that Myrrha had been in charge of before her promotion to the Darkness' five Horsemen of the Armageddon. Why the Darkness would choose a name designed to spread fear among the people was a mystery to White Raven, considering that the Darkness was always preaching the idea that it actually loved everyone on Sin. In any case, White Raven now led the dozen or so troops towards the main entrance where they could defend Soyah.

To add more irony to White Raven's situation, she had been in a similar situation not a few months before, but it was when she was with the Linkara. She had assisted in the defense of the Third Ai Division at the battle of the Elana River, giving herself a sense of personal pride in fighting against evil. But now her foe was not evil, but people she used to know who believed that the Eclipsed Legion's only goal was to conquer the Five lands as they had tried to do before.

And so White Raven stood and prepared, hearing the cries of battle from outside the city walls where battle had already begun for the defense towers, who were valiantly aiming at the leaders of the attack and working their way down along the chain of command until there was no one left to lead. However, those of the armies, who had their own archers and Sorcerers to fight, were countering their efforts. White Raven winced as she saw one of the Dark Archers fall down from the defense tower and land with an arrow in their chest, on top of a house.

White Raven bit her lower lip, remembering something General J'Vok told her that Louis had said.

"Fortune favors the bold..." White Raven whispered.

*

Dust fell down from the dark ceiling of the jail as the building shook from a catapult's blast. Indow bit her lower lip as she looked over to Lithmenar, who was using a small metal pin as a pick for his lock. The building shook once more, sending dust onto Garik's head. Lithmenar grinned after hearing a click from the lock, and he slowly adjusted the pin until the lock on his shackles was released. He pulled himself out of the restraints, moving over to Indow next and getting to work on her chains.

"Hurry, Lithmenar! It sounds as if the armies are attacking!" J'Vok proclaimed.

"I AM hurrying! I might have been able to free myself with some clever thinking, but I'm still picking a single lock with a pin of all things, so please do not rush me!" he growled in response.

"We should wait a few minutes before attempting a full-fledged escape. Since the attack has only just begun, it might be some time before they breach the defenses." J'Vok suggested.

Indow nodded in response and smiled as the lock on her chains clicked, indicating that it was open. She pulled herself free of the restraints and rubbed her wrists, wincing from the feeling of being bound, bringing back memories of another time when she was bound with her hands over her head. She clenched her teeth and growled beneath her breath, turning to her father and General J'Vok. They stood up as much as they could, holding out the locks for their chains. Indow placed a finger on each of the locks and, just like the last time, electrical sparks shot out momentarily and the locks clicked open.

Garik and J'Vok shoved their chains away and stood up fully, stretching around for a moment.

"We'll need weapons." Garik stated.

J'Vok nodded and walked over to the nearest bars of the cell. He closed his eyes, slowly breathing in and out. For a few moments, that was all he did. However, his breathing soon increased as he seemed to build up strength from just breathing. Finally, he let out a roar before he rammed one of his fists against a bar, knocking it out of its place and tearing the metal at the ends of it. He picked it up and handed it to Garik.

"Thanks." Garik laughed, taking the metal bar in his hands as a club.

"Get one for yourself and then for Lithmenar. We're going to war." Indow said, using her magic to unlock the cell.

*

"You wanted to see me?" White Raven asked.

White Raven had just ordered her Assault Squad into retreat when the 21st Squad leader informed her that she was wanted by Myrrha. The battle was still only just beginning, with few, if any, of the attacking force making it past the city walls. The 27th Squad had been in a defense position behind the northwestern wall, using holes that had been made in the walls for this sort of situation to launch arrows at the armies that were besieging the city. The barricades seemed to be working for the moment, keeping them out of a direct confrontation with the Eclipsed Legion's swordsmen.

Myrrha, in the meantime, hadn't yet assigned herself a Squadron to handle. She was coordinating the positions and tactics from her office at the castle, attempting to do as much as she could without having to go into combat just yet. She was looking at a large map in front of her with three other Generals when White Raven entered.

"In a moment, Raven. Uyiq, what's the status of the northeast wall?" she asked.

"Holding, but I'm not sure for how long. Our Sorcerers continually get shot down within the first few shots they fire down at the armies." Uyiq responded.

"Regroup your forces along the wall and keep the Sorcerers in a defensive position, then. Go!" Myrrha ordered.

Uyiq nodded and quickly ran out of the room. Myrrha turned to another General and asked another question:

"I was informed a few days ago that Varek the Destroyer was coming to our aid! Where in the Pit is he?!"

"After his failed attempt to resurrect the demon Gritsnak, he was taken prisoner in a northern Jilad city along with his Assault Squadron. He only managed to escape a short while ago and meet up with reinforcements. It could be some time before he arrives here." the General responded.

"We need him here NOW!" Myrrha yelled, pounding her fist on the table.

She winced and sighed, looking down at the map in front of her. "All right, just find a way to slip a scout out to tell Varek to hurry up. Whatever happened to that Thesia girl he was working with?"

"Exact details are sketchy, my Queen. There was some type of bout between them just before the Gritsnak incident. She has not been seen since. But even then, she was never a reliable ally of the Darkness. She always-"

"Fine! Whatever! Just go and get Varek!" Myrrha yelled.

The General winced and nodded once before quickly dashing off. Myrrha put her hand on her forehead and rubbed it, sighing softly before turning to White Raven.

"You asked to see me?" White Raven asked.

"Yes. I'm going to take you off of the wall defense for a few minutes. I need you to do something for Me." she said, going back to her maps.

"What do you require?"

"I need you to kill Indow."

White Raven blinked. "Excuse me?"

"And the other prisoners as well, for that matter. Get over there, execute them swiftly, and then return to the defense of the wall." Myrrha ordered.

"But why-"

Myrrha interrupted, "Because if they should take advantage of the attack and somehow find a way to escape, we'll be fighting a powerful sorceress from within our borders while protecting ourselves from an army from the outside. Kill them and be done with it."

"But I thought you wanted them sacrificed at the Genesis ceremony?" White Raven inquired.

Myrrha grabbed hold of a large sword that was hanging on a wall, sheathing it quickly as she prepared to move from her command center.

"There won't be any Genesis ceremony if I am killed by that whore of a Priestess! Now do as I command or I will find an adjutant who can!" she shouted.

*

General J'Vok slammed his foot against the door of the jail cell, knocking it open and sending it swinging into the bars it was attached to, making them all reverberate with a high-pitched tone. The group filed out of the cell quickly, readying their assorted weapons for whatever they encountered high above the underground jail. J'Vok repeated his door-kicking when they reached the top of the stairs, actually getting the wooden door to fall out of it's hinges and fall down to the ground. Although they expected to see at least two guards to ensure that they not escape, White Raven instead met them in front of the main door, with a bow and arrow aimed at them.

J'Vok grinned and tightened his grip on the broken-off jail bar. "I was hoping for a chance to bash your face in, traitor!"

White Raven merely continued to aim her arrow at the group. J'Vok smiled, but before he could charge at White Raven, Indow leapt out from behind him, screaming like a woman possessed. White Raven winced and fell backwards as Indow plowed into her. White Raven released her grip on the arrow, which sped past J'Vok and embedded itself into the doorway arch. Indow began clawing at White Raven's face as they blocked the doorway to the outdoors, the two of them rolling from left to right as they tried to kill one another.

Indow leaned in close after she wrapped her hands around White Raven's neck. White Raven flailed about, trying to push Indow off of her as Indow began to choke her, squeezing her neck tightly. The girl just held on tighter, but she also managed to get close to White Raven's ear and whispered into it.

"Pretend to be dead." she said, barely audible.

White Raven shut her eyes tightly and stopped fighting, letting her hands fall to her side away from White Raven as her body went limp. Indow held on for a second more, than released White Raven's neck. White Raven resisted the urge to let a deep breath in, and instead settled for a few minor breaths to enter her nose without the others seeing her breathe. Indow got up and panted a little, nodding to the others. J'Vok promptly kicked White Raven in the side, and she had to bite her tongue to keep herself from yelping in pain or expressing anything that would reveal that she were still alive.

With that, Garik and J'Vok grabbed hold of White Raven's form and pulled her away from the door so they could escape. White Raven kept her eyes closed and staring at the same spot they had been in, lest any eye shifting might alert the others of her status. When they were done, Indow opened the door of the room and instantly regretted doing so. A heavy stench filled the room, forcing Indow away from the doorway as she clutched her face to hide herself from it. Garik put his arms around her as he grimaced, staring out of the doorway and seeing a half-devoured animal lying in front of the door. It somewhat resembled a cow in basic structure, but it was shorter and without any kind of fur on it.

The General promptly shut the door to keep the stench from further permeating the room. He turned to the others.

"Standard procedure in besieging an enemy fortress is to catapult in not only rocks, but also diseased animals. Prolonged exposure to the stench can be... unpleasant." he said.

"We won't stay here long. We just have to wait a moment to regain ourselves, then we can head back out there." Lithmenar said, grabbing White Raven's sword from her side.

They all nodded and waited another minute before they kicked open the door and charged out. As soon as they shut the door behind them, White Raven began to pant and clutch her neck and side in pain.

*

A flaming rock collided into the top of one of the cottages, immediately exploding the straw and wood into cinders. Another one slammed into the paved ground, merely breaking up the rock and letting the flame die out on it's own as soon as the ligalce powder that it was covered in burned out. Dark Knights stormed down the streets towards the main gate, where several holes had been cut using catapults and battering rams. They placed barricades in front of the door made of tree trunks, stone pillars, or anything they could find that could be used to hold the gates closed.

Indow cast a fireball at her nearest opponent, the flames burning his face and forcing him to drop his sword and try to put out the fire that had engulfed his head. General J'Vok quickly ground his foot into the face of a fallen Dark Knight, crushing the soldier's skull beneath him. Lithmenar was the only one who seemed to not be interested in fighting, and instead simply lounged about, walking from time to time, to pick up a stray piece of money that dropped to the ground. Garik assisted J'Vok by protecting his backside as they moved their way towards the entrance of the city.

Myrrha stood upon the city walls fighting off one of the soldiers who had managed to get to the top of the walls through the use of wooden ladders. She growled down at Indow, who she could see was getting closer to the wall. She quickly thrust her sword forward and killed the knight she was fighting and tapped on the shoulder of one of the archers. The male archer turned to her, readying another arrow from his quiver.

"That girl down there! Kill her!" she ordered, pointing at Indow.

The archer nodded and quickly took aim. However, before he could release, an explosion rocked the wall, forcing him forward and off-shooting his shot, missing Indow by several feet. Myrrha switched her gaze to the explosion's source, where one of the armies' sorcerers had launched a fiery attack. Myrrha's mouth dropped when she realized what had happened.

"Emphen-sol?! They're actually performing suicide attacks?!" she asked to no one in particular.

She bit her lower lip and turned back to the archer. "Quickly, get to the leaders of each Assault Squad and tell them to retreat to the secondary defense position. Then, get all of the remaining Dark Sorcerers behind that line as quickly as possible! We're initiating the backup plan."

White Raven shakily started walking towards the door, believing that she had recovered from the attack she had suffered. She slowly opened the door and made her way around the rotting animal as she attempted to find her Assault Squad and resume command. However, what she saw instead shocked her to no end. The evening sky was being eclipsed by a bright white light that was emanating, oddly enough, from Myrrha, who was floating high above Soyah. her hair had changed form it's standard black into a glowing white, as with the rest of her body. Beams of light were coming from the area below her and shooting up to meet with her body. It didn't take very long for her to figure out what the people below were doing.

They were performing a Lokmanwo spell on Myrrha.
RiffingShow
White Raven didn't like being told things that she already knew.
What a charming character.
It seemed inevitable for the forces of the five lands to stage an attack on Soyah after the Dark Knights had taken it from them a few days earlier.
This is where her lady friend's gonna bite the dust, right?
Half of the Dark Knights had taken up the task of rebuilding the haphazard defenses of Soyah while the other half worked on construction of the town itself.
Methinks the defenses should be a higher priority for the time being.
Morale of the forces was an important thing, and each Dark Knight needed a place to go home to, as Myrrha said.
The enemy might overrun their defenses, but at least they have comfy houses UwU.
The rebuilding crews had done a masterful job, reinforcing the rotted city walls and applying more modern architecture to them.
What kind of "modern architecture"? Machicolations?
Added to that were the defense towers, which carried a heavy arsenal of arrows for launching down into the people.
How fast do you guys build this shit? This isn't Age of Empires 2.
Dark Assassins
What the fuck is a "Dark Assassin"? They never showed up before, and a quick search tells me they are only mentioned in this paragraph.
Also just how useful would assassins be during a siege?
White Raven was, ironically, placed in charge of the 27th Eclipsed Legion Assault Squadron, the Dark Knight squadron that Myrrha had been in charge of before her promotion to the Darkness' five Horsemen of the Armageddon.
That's not really ironic.
Why the Darkness would choose a name designed to spread fear among the people was a mystery to White Raven, considering that the Darkness was always preaching the idea that it actually loved everyone on Sin.
Image

I'm sure it ordered you to wipe out entire villages in the name of fucking love.
To add more irony to White Raven's situation, she had been in a similar situation not a few months before, but it was when she was with the Linkara. She had assisted in the defense of the Third Ai Division at the battle of the Elana River
That wasn't a siege, you nimrod. That's a whole different warfare animal.
And so White Raven stood and prepared, hearing the cries of battle from outside the city walls where battle had already begun for the defense towers
Shouldn't those towers be part of the wall? Why are they outside?
"Fortune favors the bold..." White Raven whispered.
Image

(Sieges are more of an endurance competition, though.)

*
Dust fell down from the dark ceiling of the jail as the building shook from a catapult's blast
Lame. A real dungeon cell ought to be deeper underground.
Indow bit her lower lip as she looked over to Lithmenar, who was using a small metal pin as a pick for his lock.
Holy shit he does another rogue thing.
She pulled herself free of the restraints and rubbed her wrists, wincing from the feeling of being bound, bringing back memories of another time when she was bound with her hands over her head.
Remember when Indow got raped?!
Indow placed a finger on each of the locks and, just like the last time, electrical sparks shot out momentarily and the locks clicked open.
Caster supremacy strikes again. Who needs a dedicated rogue if you can just cast Knock?
"We'll need weapons." Garik stated.

J'Vok nodded and walked over to the nearest bars of the cell. He closed his eyes, slowly breathing in and out. For a few moments, that was all he did. However, his breathing soon increased as he seemed to build up strength from just breathing. Finally, he let out a roar before he rammed one of his fists against a bar, knocking it out of its place and tearing the metal at the ends of it. He picked it up and handed it to Garik.
Apparently J'Vok knows kung fu?

*
The 27th Squad had been in a defense position behind the northwestern wall, using holes that had been made in the walls for this sort of situation to launch arrows at the armies that were besieging the city.
You mean arrowslits? JFC, do some research for once, will you?
"Holding, but I'm not sure for how long. Our Sorcerers continually get shot down within the first few shots they fire down at the armies." Uyiq responded.

"Regroup your forces along the wall and keep the Sorcerers in a defensive position, then. Go!" Myrrha ordered.
Should've assigned more of your precious house builders to make merlons.
"I was informed a few days ago that Varek the Destroyer was coming to our aid! Where in the Pit is he?!"

"After his failed attempt to resurrect the demon Gritsnak..."
I'm sure this Varek guy will be a lot lamer than his name suggests.
Gritsnak is that fellow who got killed by a tornado or something before Linkara even showed up, as part of the almighty prophecy. So he was a demon all along? What even is a Sinnian demon? Is there a Sinnian Hell with Sinnian Satan? Or are they more Lovecraftian?
"We need him here NOW!" Myrrha yelled, pounding her fist on the table.
Image

How about the convenient teleport network? It lets you move as fast as the plot demands!
"All right, just find a way to slip a scout out to tell Varek to hurry up."
"Greetings, Varek the Destroyer. How fast are you traveling at the moment?"
"Pretty fast I think."
"Could you travel even faster?"
"Sure."
"What do you require?"

"I need you to kill Indow."

White Raven blinked. "Excuse me?"
Weird, right? You'd think she'd want to do it herself.
"There won't be any Genesis ceremony if I am killed by that whore of a Priestess! Now do as I command or I will find an adjutant who can!" she shouted.
Fuck, not the Genesis ceremony! I don't wanna miss out on Invisible Touch.


*
General J'Vok slammed his foot against the door of the jail cell, knocking it open and sending it swinging into the bars it was attached to, making them all reverberate with a high-pitched tone.
Why are you so swole, mate?
Although they expected to see at least two guards to ensure that they not escape, White Raven instead met them in front of the main door, with a bow and arrow aimed at them.
Awkward.
Also why do you always insists on your bow? In this cramped environment you will only get off one shot before you get the shit tackled out of you.
J'Vok smiled, but before he could charge at White Raven, Indow leapt out from behind him, screaming like a woman possessed.

Indow began clawing at White Raven's face as they blocked the doorway to the outdoors, the two of them rolling from left to right as they tried to kill one another.
Image

Time to unzip my pants.
No wait, I'm lying.
They were never zipped in the first place.
Indow leaned in close after she wrapped her hands around White Raven's neck. White Raven flailed about, trying to push Indow off of her as Indow began to choke her, squeezing her neck tightly. The girl just held on tighter, but she also managed to get close to White Raven's ear and whispered into it.

"Pretend to be dead." she said, barely audible.
Of course Indow of all people is saving Raven's ass. Such character development. Much depth.
Garik put his arms around her as he grimaced, staring out of the doorway and seeing a half-devoured animal lying in front of the door. It somewhat resembled a cow in basic structure, but it was shorter and without any kind of fur on it.

The General promptly shut the door to keep the stench from further permeating the room. He turned to the others.

"Standard procedure in besieging an enemy fortress is to catapult in not only rocks, but also diseased animals. Prolonged exposure to the stench can be... unpleasant." he said.
That would make sense in a more realistic siege, but this is one of those Hollywood sieges that only lasts a few hours or so.

*
Dark Knights stormed down the streets towards the main gate, where several holes had been cut using catapults and battering rams.
He sure has a way with words. Reminds me of the Terafella helmets with their "carved out" eye holes.
General J'Vok quickly ground his foot into the face of a fallen Dark Knight, crushing the soldier's skull beneath him.
Jeebus. A good thing he only kicked Raven in the ribs.
Lithmenar was the only one who seemed to not be interested in fighting, and instead simply lounged about, walking from time to time, to pick up a stray piece of money that dropped to the ground.
Did doing two Rogue feats in a single book get to your head or something?
"That girl down there! Kill her!" she ordered, pointing at Indow.
That would be more thrilling if I didn't know Indow can cast at least one type of shield spell.
Myrrha switched her gaze to the explosion's source, where one of the armies' sorcerers had launched a fiery attack. Myrrha's mouth dropped when she realized what had happened.

"Emphen-sol?! They're actually performing suicide attacks?!" she asked to no one in particular.
One must fight terror with terror.
White Raven shakily started walking towards the door, believing that she had recovered from the attack she had suffered.
If you say so, Honey.
The evening sky was being eclipsed by a bright white light that was emanating, oddly enough, from Myrrha, who was floating high above Soyah.
That's moderately alarming.
They were performing a Lokmanwo spell on Myrrha.
Oh no! She's gonna get an unspecified power-up of unspecified strength and function!
Image
Next Time: Wowzers. The next chapter is actually a title drop. Just what the fuck is this "Cassandra Conflict", anyways?
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Thu Feb 13, 2025 9:32 am

Book 2, Chapter 12 - The Cassandra Conflict
(Or: DEEP HURTING)

Watcha gonna do, when Lokmanwomania runs wild on you?!


At least I think that's what this spell does. The quality of spell exposition is a bit lacking in this series.
RecapShow
Past
Image

In a stunning reversion of last chapter, now Linkara doesn't make an apperance, and it's all about his nakama in the present.
Image

A bit weird, tbh. Not just because Linkara (the author) can tolerate a chapter without his self-insert. He could've easily swapped out scenes between the last two chapters to have shit going on in both timelines.

Oh well, at least I didn't have to suffer through more adventures of Smug Linkara.

Present

So the Alliance of Good Guys (tm) has started their siege of Soyah. It's all a bit vague and confusing af because this siege is written by someone who doesn't even know the term "arrowslits". Though if I can parse this shit correctly, then Myrrha kinda sucks at her job. We have defensive towers outside the walls, and for some reason she has assigned half her force to building nice houses, because that's gonna make all the difference once the enemy is through the gates and over the walls.

Indow and gang acutally manage to escape on their own, thanks to Lithmenar being on a roll when it comes to remembering that he's the party's rogue.
Conveniently enough, they run right into Raven, who has been ordered to kill them all. Indow starts a catfight with her, though only to tell her to play dead so Raven can escape the wrath of General J'Vok (who has roided the fuck out in his cell, or unlocked his chakras or something; dude is a fucking killing machine atm).

As they join the fray, shit is getting weird as the good guys start using magical suicide bombers. Not sure why, though. Everything looked like the Dark Knights were fucked either way.

Then Myrrha has enough of this shit and orders her sorcerers to perform the Lokmanwo spell on her, which is that ancient spell from last book that boosts your power level by an unspecified amount.

We get some foreshadowing I guess about some Dark Knight guy called Verak the Destroyer. I bet he'll disappoint like every other villain.
Sadly, we didn't get anything about Raven's friend. I'm still waiting for her to get killed.

Worldbuilding tidbits:
  • The Dark Knights have "Dark Assassins" now. They never showed up last book, and a quick search seems to suggest they will never show up ever again.
ChapterShow
"We'll run to that castle we saw when we were approaching Walsz! Leftant [sic], you say you can slay dragons? Start slaying!"

Louis immediately nodded and separated slightly from the group so that he wouldn't hit them with his wings when he extended them. They shot out from the back of his armor and he immediately leapt into the air, letting them flap and take him up to meet the Dragonriders. The red dragons quickly flew past the pursuing parts of the Terafell Arbiters to meet with Louis. The Dragonriders, oddly enough, were not at all surprised by Louis' ability to fly. They merely continued flying towards him while Louis considered his next move.

The last time he had faced a Dragonrider had been roughly two months before, when he had first arrived in the past. He had killed one simply by stabbing it in the nose ala Omnimon in the fourth Digimon movie and then sending wave after wave of electrical energy through it before it finally died. He had the element of surprise with him that time, but now they apparently knew who he was and what he was capable of, so they weren't as quick to surprise with his abilities.

Louis responded in kind, flying towards the nearer [sic] of the two dragons. The great beast opened its mouth wide and Louis winced, realizing what it was about to do. He got himself some momentum as he flew towards it, then shielded his face with his gauntlets as his wings wrapped around him, yet he remained flying towards the creature. The dragon spewed out a great plume of fire from its mouth, and the flames quickly slammed into Louis' wings. Within the protective shield, Louis clenched his teeth as he waited for the dragon to stop, the heat around him becoming painfully unbearable.

When the dragon finally finished, Louis allowed himself to be freed from his self- imposed prison and continued flying at the beast. The dragon swerved to the side to dodge Louis as its companion attempted to fly in from behind to deal with the Linkara. Louis saw the dragon behind him and performed a Yeager-loop to avoid the second dragon's fire. When he completely came around, he flew straight at the Arbiter on the dragon's back and rammed his blade through the rider's back, killing him instantly. He pulled the blade out of the Arbiter's back and flew backwards as the limp body of the Arbiter fell down off of the red dragon's back to the ground below.

The dragon, without anyone to control it, continued flying as it attempted to shake the reigns that were attached to its neck off of it. The other dragon, meanwhile, swooped back at Louis, jaws ready to chomp Louis. Louis rolled to the side, seemingly out of its way, but then the dragon's left wing slammed into his stomach, carrying him along with it. Louis growled and crawled on top of the wing, holding onto it as he moved towards the main body of the dragon. The Dragonrider quickly spotted him and Louis knew he was wincing through his helmet. He continued moving along the dragon's wing as the rider pulled the reigns to the side, encouraging the dragon to tip on it's left side to make Louis fall off. Louis held tight, refusing to let go as he finally reached the dragon's torso.

He then grabbed hold of the Dragonrider's robes and pulled hard. The rider screamed and held onto the reigns for dear life as he was pulled off of the saddle of the dragon and left dangling on the dragon.

"Get off or I'll kill you!" Louis shouted.

In his shock, the Arbiter let go of his reigns, and he yelled in horror as he fell down to the ground far below him. Louis, in the meantime, climbed onto the saddle and took the reigns in his hands as his wings folded behind him. He whipped the reigns like a horse's, encouraging the dragon to slow down with his instructions. The dragon came downwards, and Louis could see the Arbiters who were pursuing the Unit on the ground. Louis leaned in a bit closer so that the dragon could hear him.

"Launch your fire!" Louis commanded.

"No."

Louis blinked, surprised by this. "You can speak?"

"Yes."

Louis shrugged. "Cool. Why won't you fire at them?"

"Despite the fact that they use us as tools of war, they are still our keepers and
protectors. I shall not harm them.
" the dragon responded.

That time, Louis could tell that the dragon's mouth had moved. The voice was deep, but calming and with an air of wisdom about it. Louis decided to play this hand as an optimist.

"If I let you go, will you attack my Unit?" he asked the dragon.

"No."

Louis nodded. "Very well."

And with that, Louis released the reigns and spread out his wings. The dragon continued flying away from Louis, giving no indication that it intended to break its word. Louis descended quickly, seeing if there was any chance he could fight the pursuing Arbiters on his own. He winced when he realized he could see several Terafell Arbiters with crossbows already taking aim at him. He maneuvered himself away as several arrows flew past him, one even managing it ricochet off of his wing. He flew down to the others as they could see the castle not fifty feet away from them.

Louis' wings retracted and he fell to the ground, immediately beginning to run when his feet touched it. He ran past the other members of the Unit and up towards the front of the Unit to rejoin Jordahn.

"Once we get into the castle, what's to stop them from-"

Louis stopped speaking when he heard a cry of pain come from behind them. The blood drained from Louis' face as he saw that Prince Algaren had fallen forward, one arrow sticking out of his back and another through his head. Louis tried to turn around and run to him, but Jordahn grabbed hold of a piece of cloth on Louis instead of the armor and pulled him back with her.

"But the Prince-"

"There's no time for him!" Jordahn interrupted.

Louis bit his lower lip as Jordahn pulled him away from the dead body of Prince Algaren. Instead, he ran directly into the collapsed doors of the castle along with three other Unit soldiers behind him. Two more had been hit by arrows and had fallen. However, as soon as all of the remaining Unit members had entered the castle, the Arbiters slowed their approach. Most of them winced and stared up at the structure, many of them exchanging glances.

"They had to pick the demonic castle..." one of them murmured.

*

Because Louis had totally destroyed the Darkness, the group that had traveled with him wanted to contribute something to the fight, Indow initiated a spell known as Lokmanwo, which transferred the willpower, strength, and skills of certain people into another to use as they saw fit. Using this, Indow, Lithmenar, White Raven, and Garik had all lent their strength to Louis to help him defeat the Darkness, which he did.

However, the spell was now being used in a far more sinister manner.

The entire force of Dark Knights gathered in the town square so that they could lend each of their power to Myrrha. As each new person's strength was added to her, the longer the spell would last and her power would increase. So far, more than half of the Dark Knights had been transferred as Myrrha had gained so much power that she was naturally floating. The armies of Sin continually slammed through the main gates of the town, breaking it off more and more each time their battering rams collided into it, which meant that the Dark Sorcerers had to speed up their progress if they hoped for Myrrha to be their savior.

White Raven was walking the streets, recovering from her injuries sustained in the prison, but was now overcome by the disgusting smell of rotting cattle and other animals that had been flung over the city walls. She drew her sword as she moved towards the town square, expecting someone to leap out and attack her at any moment.

Indow and the others, though, were trying to move away from the town square as quickly as possible. They had also noticed the fact that Myrrha's Dark Sorcerers were initiating the Lokmanwo spell, and they knew they had to warn the troops about it. The gateway through the city walls finally collapsed inwards, the battering rams on the other side destroying the great doors. The first troops began to swarm in, but they immediately stopped when they saw General J'Vok running towards them.

However, it was too late.

A black bolt of energy collided into the pavement in front of J'Vok, stopping him in his tracks as the rocks and stone from it exploded outwards. The troops looked up, gasping as they witnessed a single being that was glowing a pure white. Her armoring and hair were white, and her skin radiated with white energy. She stared down at the troops, as if sizing them up and peering into their souls. She tilted her head to the side, then grinned demonically.

Indow clenched her teeth and immediately brought her hands up, her eyes flaring with rage. Her hands glowed for a moment as she focused her thoughts on casting spells against the enhanced Myrrha. Fireballs began to form in front of her hands and were being fired out at Myrrha like mad. However, each one that hit the Queen of the Eclipsed Legion simply vaporized, causing no damage to her. After laughing for a moment about Indow's futile efforts, Myrrha drew her sword from her sheath and gripped it's hilt with both of her hands while extending it out at Indow. Indow winced and quickly cast a Protection spell about her, forming an energy shield. Myrrha roared, and a black wave of energy shot out from her sword and slammed into her Protection field, shattering it with most of its energy.

The remaining energy pounded Indow's form, knocking her back several feet and onto her back from the intensity. Garik went to her side to try to protect her while J'Vok began rallying the troops. The archers came first, firing arrows from bows or crossbows. Myrrha turned her gaze instantly at the approaching arrows, and her eyes seemed to emit a small white flame from them as the arrows entirely switched direction, redirecting themselves back at the people who had fired them. Most of them had shields to cover themselves with, but the unfortunate ones were immediately pierced by their own arrows in vital parts of their body, killing them instantly.

White Raven watched from a bit farther away, atop of a taller structure and biting her lower lip.

She wasn't sure who she should be rooting for.

*

Jordahn sat down at the table in the hastily created briefing room of the castle where the Unit had taken refuge. Five other soldiers sat at the table, Louis included. Most were simply Pertits, the second-lowest ranking of Kien soldiers and the common soldier in the military, but they were also the longest serving in the Unit, meaning they were the senior officers. Jordahn sighed and rubbed her temples before resting her head on her hands for a moment. She quickly regained herself and crossed her arms, ready to listen to what the others had to say.

"What's our situation?" she inquired.

One of the soldiers leaned in, speaking first: "Teret and Erenoth are dead. We can't get to their bodies because of the Arbiters outside, but it would appear that, for the moment, we are safe."

"How so? We've got quite a few Arbiters out there who could just as easily storm this castle and kill us all." Jordahn stated.

"The Arbiters are highly superstitious. I had asked that boy Keris about the castle while we were waiting for you and the Leftant [sic] to return with the Prince. Apparently, the reason why the Arbiters aren’t utilizing this place is because the Arbiters seem to feel that the castle is haunted by spirits with magical powers. Three Arbiters who were foolish enough to enter apparently left the place half-dead and covered in burns and died shortly after they managed to escape. We may be safe for some time, provided we can find some food and life giver." the Pertit explained.

"It doesn't matter. Nothing matters." Louis spoke.

All eyes turned to him. Jordahn, in particular, seemed to glare at him.

"And what is that supposed to mean, Leftant [sic]?" Jordahn asked.

"Algaren is dead. The knowledge he had is lost forever. The Cassandra Conflict." Louis said.

They all stated blankly, confused by his words.

"The what?" one finally asked.

"Cassandra was a Greek Goddess... Someone from my world's mythology. She had the ability to foretell the future accurately and with no discrepancy. However, she was then cursed with the fact that although she could see the future and predict it, she had no way of changing it. And that's where we are right now, folks. I'm Cassandra, who can tell you all the future, but either no one will believe me, like in the case of your retarded King, or the fact that I can't change the future, like in the fact that Prince Algaren, who knew a way for this war to end eighty years earlier than it's supposed to, sparing thousands if not millions of lives, is now lying dead in some field. What's the point of us even doing anything now? We've failed in our mission, and now this damned war will continue." Louis said, his voice never deviating or changing to reflect his different moods of anger and sadness.

Jordahn laughed, much to Louis' surprise.

"Irrelevant!" she exclaimed. "I've read the history book, too, Leftant [sic]. It may take us another eighty years, but this war will be won. As long as we do win, it doesn't matter how we do it or how long it takes."

Before anyone else could speak, one of the other soldiers of the Unit quickly entered the room, gasping from the quickened pace he had approached the room in.

"Captain, I believe you should see something!" he said, leading Jordahn out of her chair and out of the room.

Louis and the other senior officers left their chairs and followed close behind, curious as to what it was that the soldier had been talking about. They walked down a narrow corridor in the small castle and entered another room, this one being some type of sitting or relaxation room. In it, there was a fireplace built into one of the stonewalls and several pieces of dirty, torn furniture, as well as a large pile of rags and cloaks. However, what caught the attention of the group was the fact that in the fireplace, there were several pieces of wood emitting smoke from them, indicating that there had been a fire there recently and someone had hastily put it out.

"There's someone else in the castle! Find them and-"

But before Jordahn could finish her orders, two loud yells filled the room. The people in the room quickly turned towards the pile of rags where, surprisingly enough, two figures rose from it and leaped out at the soldiers. Louis winced and immediately high-kicked the figure approaching him, knocking him back to the ground. The other came very close to Jordahn, but she managed to slam her fist into the approaching figure, knocking them back to the ground. They were covered in similar rags and cloaks that had been in the pile. One of the cloaks had become undone, revealing the face behind one of the assailants.

The long blond hair and light beard that covered his face didn't hide his identity from Louis.

It was Chreydo.
RiffingShow
"We'll run to that castle we saw when we were approaching Walsz! Leftant [sic], you say you can slay dragons? Start slaying!"
Linkara continues to Other M this shit. Is this just the chain of command, or some kind of domination play?
Also what if that castle is full of more Terafellas? You think they're just ignoring it?
The Dragonriders, oddly enough, were not at all surprised by Louis' ability to fly.
It's like the Terafellas are getting used to getting attacked by a flying demigod or something.
The last time he had faced a Dragonrider had been roughly two months before, when he had first arrived in the past.
Yes, I do remember the beginning of this book (as much as I'd like to forget).
He had killed one simply by stabbing it in the nose ala Omnimon in the fourth Digimon movie
Image

This is more like getting stabbed in the skull than the nose, but whatever. Also thanks for dragging Digimen into this mess.

(That's the second movie, btw. I think he means the godawful compilation movie thing cobbled together by Saban, but that's actually the fifth movie.)
He had the element of surprise with him that time, but now they apparently knew who he was and what he was capable of, so they weren't as quick to surprise with his abilities.
Back then they only knew you're a crazy murderhobo with wings.
Now they know you're a crazy murderhobo with wings who is invincible.
Louis responded in kind, flying towards the nearer [sic] of the two dragons.
That's "nearest", my Dear.
The dragon spewed out a great plume of fire from its mouth, and the flames quickly slammed into Louis' wings. Within the protective shield, Louis clenched his teeth as he waited for the dragon to stop, the heat around him becoming painfully unbearable.
He is somewhat inconvenienced by a dragon's fire breath. How exciting.
The dragon swerved to the side to dodge Louis as its companion attempted to fly in from behind to deal with the Linkara. Louis saw the dragon behind him and performed a Yeager-loop to avoid the second dragon's fire.
What the fuck is that?
Memory Alpha aka Star Trek Wiki wrote:The Yeager loop was a starship maneuver that was typically performed by five ships.
Image

Was is too hard looking up actual dogfighting maneuvers?
The dragon, without anyone to control it, continued flying as it attempted to shake the reigns that were attached to its neck off of it.
The giant fire-breathing lizard just fucks off without a rider. Very convenient.
Louis growled and crawled on top of the wing, holding onto it as he moved towards the main body of the dragon. The Dragonrider quickly spotted him and Louis knew he was wincing through his helmet.
Linkara is the master of wincing. He knows if you do it.
He continued moving along the dragon's wing as the rider pulled the reigns to the side, encouraging the dragon to tip on it's left side to make Louis fall off.
You could just slice the wing, but I guess you prefer killing humanoids.
"Get off or I'll kill you!" Louis shouted.

In his shock, the Arbiter let go of his reigns, and he yelled in horror as he fell down to the ground far below him.
You see, it's not Linkara who killed him, but gravity.
He whipped the reigns like a horse's, encouraging the dragon to slow down with his instructions.
Of course he knows how to ride a dragon.
"Launch your fire!" Louis commanded.

"No."

Louis blinked, surprised by this. "You can speak?"

"Yes."

Louis shrugged. "Cool. Why won't you fire at them?"

"Despite the fact that they use us as tools of war, they are still our keepers and
protectors. I shall not harm them.
" the dragon responded.
In a shocking turn of events, the flying flamethrower does not like roasting its nakama.
"If I let you go, will you attack my Unit?" he asked the dragon.

"No."

Louis nodded. "Very well."

And with that, Louis released the reigns and spread out his wings. The dragon continued flying away from Louis, giving no indication that it intended to break its word.
#NotAllDragons.
Louis descended quickly, seeing if there was any chance he could fight the pursuing Arbiters on his own. He winced when he realized he could see several Terafell Arbiters with crossbows already taking aim at him.
Dude, you shrugged off a fire breath. You'll be fine.
He maneuvered himself away as several arrows flew past him...
Bolts, you dolt. Bolts.
Louis stopped speaking when he heard a cry of pain come from behind them. The blood drained from Louis' face as he saw that Prince Algaren had fallen forward, one arrow sticking out of his back and another through his head.

However, as soon as all of the remaining Unit members had entered the castle, the Arbiters slowed their approach. Most of them winced and stared up at the structure, many of them exchanging glances.

"They had to pick the demonic castle..." one of them murmured.


*
Because Louis had totally destroyed the Darkness, the group that had traveled with him wanted to contribute something to the fight, Indow initiated a spell known as Lokmanwo, which transferred the willpower, strength, and skills of certain people into another to use as they saw fit. Using this, Indow, Lithmenar, White Raven, and Garik had all lent their strength to Louis to help him defeat the Darkness, which he did.
The fuck do you mean by "totally destroyed"? The fight wasn't over at all, which is why you cast that spell.
Also it'd be nice if you had cast it after seeing him struggle, but we never got to see how the spell actually helped him out.
And this transfers skills? Does Linkara now know how to pick locks or something?
However, the spell was now being used in a far more sinister manner.
Image
As each new person's strength was added to her, the longer the spell would last and her power would increase.
That's just vague enough to be annoying. Thanks.
White Raven was walking the streets, recovering from her injuries sustained in the prison, but was now overcome by the disgusting smell of rotting cattle and other animals that had been flung over the city walls.
JFC how many fucking cows did they yeet over the walls?
Indow and the others, though, were trying to move away from the town square as quickly as possible. They had also noticed the fact that Myrrha's Dark Sorcerers were initiating the Lokmanwo spell, and they knew they had to warn the troops about it.
Any reason why you guys aren't trying to stop this ritual? Back when Indow used it last book she had to "kobo hest bogo" each participant by name, which I imagine will take a while here.
The gateway through the city walls finally collapsed inwards, the battering rams on the other side destroying the great doors. The first troops began to swarm in, but they immediately stopped when they saw General J'Vok running towards them.

However, it was too late.
Image
The troops looked up, gasping as they witnessed a single being that was glowing a pure white. Her armoring and hair were white, and her skin radiated with white energy. She stared down at the troops, as if sizing them up and peering into their souls. She tilted her head to the side, then grinned demonically.
Image

"Prepare your ass checks, mortals."
Fireballs began to form in front of her hands and were being fired out at Myrrha like mad. However, each one that hit the Queen of the Eclipsed Legion simply vaporized, causing no damage to her.
I see she got Spell Resistance for days.
Myrrha roared, and a black wave of energy shot out from her sword and slammed into her Protection field, shattering it with most of its energy.
Image
The archers came first, firing arrows from bows or crossbows.
I'm sure the pointed sticks will succeed where arcane fire failed!
Myrrha turned her gaze instantly at the approaching arrows, and her eyes seemed to emit a small white flame from them as the arrows entirely switched direction, redirecting themselves back at the people who had fired them.
Or not.
White Raven watched from a bit farther away, atop of a taller structure and biting her lower lip.

She wasn't sure who she should be rooting for.
Image
Most were simply Pertits, the second-lowest ranking of Kien soldiers and the common soldier in the military, but they were also the longest serving in the Unit, meaning they were the senior officers.
I mean, this unit was like 20 men tops at full strength. There's not a lot of room for many ranks.
"What's our situation?" she inquired.

One of the soldiers leaned in, speaking first: "Teret and Erenoth are dead."
Not Erenoth! He was my favorite character!
"How so? We've got quite a few Arbiters out there who could just as easily storm this castle and kill us all." Jordahn stated.
Yeah. That is so weird. And so convenient for you guys.
"The Arbiters are highly superstitious. I had asked that boy Keris about the castle while we were waiting for you and the Leftant [sic] to return with the Prince. Apparently, the reason why the Arbiters aren’t utilizing this place is because the Arbiters seem to feel that the castle is haunted by spirits with magical powers. Three Arbiters who were foolish enough to enter apparently left the place half-dead and covered in burns and died shortly after they managed to escape. We may be safe for some time, provided we can find some food and life giver." the Pertit explained.
Oh, those silly, superstitious Terafellas. Thinking this whole place is haunted or something just because everyone who ever entered got burned to death :roll:
"It doesn't matter. Nothing matters." Louis spoke.

All eyes turned to him. Jordahn, in particular, seemed to glare at him.

"And what is that supposed to mean, Leftant [sic]?" Jordahn asked.
Image
"Algaren is dead. The knowledge he had is lost forever. The Cassandra Conflict." Louis said.

They all stated blankly, confused by his words.

"The what?" one finally asked.
Same. Just what the fuck are you talking about?
"Cassandra was a Greek Goddess... Someone from my world's mythology. She had the ability to foretell the future accurately and with no discrepancy. However, she was then cursed with the fact that although she could see the future and predict it, she had no way of changing it.


Wow. Where the fuck did you get your primer on Greek mythology? Anime? How can you get such a simple story so wrong on such a fundamental level?
Let's break it down, shall we?
  • There is no such thing as a "Cassandra Conflict" - or "Kassandra Conflict", depending on how you want to write that name. If some situation resembles Cassandra's, you just say "Oh, that's like Cassandra" or something.
  • What would she even be in conflict with? The Fates? The concept of future itself?
  • She was a Trojan priestess.
  • No shit she can't change the future. No one can. That's the cruel irony of every story dealing with fate, be it in Greek or any mythology, as far as I'm aware.
  • Her actual curse was that no one would believe her prophecies.
And that's where we are right now, folks. I'm Cassandra, who can tell you all the future, but either no one will believe me, like in the case of your retarded King, or the fact that I can't change the future, like in the fact that Prince Algaren, who knew a way for this war to end eighty years earlier than it's supposed to, sparing thousands if not millions of lives, is now lying dead in some field.
Sure, blame your "Cassandra Conflict" on the king not being charmed by your incredibly rude behavior :roll:
"Irrelevant!" she exclaimed. "I've read the history book, too, Leftant [sic]. It may take us another eighty years, but this war will be won. As long as we do win, it doesn't matter how we do it or how long it takes."
Plus a longer war just means more chance for glory!
Also this long war somehow leads to the legalization of prostitution. Really, everyone wins!
But before Jordahn could finish her orders, two loud yells filled the room. The people in the room quickly turned towards the pile of rags where, surprisingly enough, two figures rose from it and leaped out at the soldiers. Louis winced and immediately high-kicked the figure approaching him, knocking him back to the ground. The other came very close to Jordahn, but she managed to slam her fist into the approaching figure, knocking them back to the ground. They were covered in similar rags and cloaks that had been in the pile. One of the cloaks had become undone, revealing the face behind one of the assailants.

The long blond hair and light beard that covered his face didn't hide his identity from Louis.

It was Chreydo.
Image

Chreydo's back, bitches!
Any reason why he and Jeremis pulled a Scooby-Doo villain stunt that could've gotten both of them killed?
Next Time: MC Chreydo's back in da hood.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Fri Feb 14, 2025 7:17 pm

Book 2, Chapter 13 - Roosevelt was Right
(Or: Chreydo's back, back again)

The true main character Chreydo has finally returned to the plot, and with a bit of luck we are nearing the end of this whole Terafella nonsense.


Also weird chapter title, huh? What did Teddy say, anyways?
Teddy Roosevelt wrote:If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
Truer words have rarely been spoken.
RecapShow
Past

The Band of the Linkster decides to make a run for a nearby castle, which is a bit weird tbh because chances are that every castle in Occupied Ai has been taken over by the Terafellas, if only to prevent any rebellious elements from squatting there.

Linkara takes quite a bit of time to take care of the dragons. I suspect Linkara (the author) wanted to include an attempt at an aerial battle, so Linkara (the character) takes his time to only take out the dragon riders, not the dragons themselves. Fortunately those flying lizards turn out to be pretty swell dudes who just piss off without a rider (though they'll likely ruin some village's day).

The Band of the Linksters finally make it to the castle, which fortunately is completely abandoned and actively avoided by the Terafellas for being supposedly haunted.
Unfortunately the prince gets turned into a human pincushion, and this one failure at changing history convinces him that he can't change history in general. Mind you, we already know that thanks to The Prophecy (tm), but I feel like he's making some pretty wild assumptions here.
He also starts comparing his failure with the tale of Cassandra - except he fucks up pretty much every part of the myth aside from "Cassandra can see the future and is cursed".

He named the book after a Greek myth which he didn't even remember all that well.

After suffering through this unmitigated disaster of research and general education, we finally catch up to Chreydo and Jeremis' Excellent Adventure!
Image

It appears the tales of the castle being haunted was just Chreydo's doing. I assume they somehow deducted that Linkara would eventually pay the castle a visit and decided to squat there.
Despite they fact that Chreydo burned the shit out of intruders before, for this group of blokes he and Jeremis decided to go fully Scooby-Doo and effectively dress up as bedsheet ghosts - with predictable results:


I assume this was Jeremis idea, because Chreydo is actually somewhat competent.

Present

Image

The Dark Knight's Internal Genkidama goes off without a hitch, turning Myrrha into the Legendary Super Dark Knight, and she's just getting started kicking ass.
Pretty sure the heroes are screwed if Linkara doesn't hurry up.

Meanwhile, Raven has some conflict of interest or something, even though Myrrha's arguments have always been pretty lame, and she's been somewhat deranged even at the best of times + and I don't think her dark apotheosis is gonna tighten her screws.
Really, the whole idea of the Dark Knights wanting to make their own isolated Dark Wakanda does not make sense with this crazy bitch in charge.
ChapterShow
"Chreydo? CHREYDO!" Louis exclaimed.

Louis leaped forward and quickly wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly. Chreydo gasped and gaped down at Louis, who began to laugh heartily. He winced slightly, then smiled himself, laughing with Louis. Jordahn and the other soldiers simply stared at the hugging between the two. The other person who was covered in rags sat up, unveiling his own dirty hood, revealing his long, black hair and beard. He stared at them, as well, confused by what was going on. Louis finally released Chreydo as tears escaped his eyes.

"Chreydo! What the hell are you doing here?!" he shouted happily.

"We were sent here to rescue you! The prophecies said you would be here! Oh, it is so wonderful to see you, my lord!" he said proudly.

"How long have you been in this castle?! No offense, dude, but you smell terrible!"

"We are not sure entirely, my lord. I believe it has been close to a year. When we first arrived, we began searching for you, attempting to discern at what time we had landed. We were immediately arrested by the Terafell Arbiters, but thanks to my magic, I was able to escape with Jeremis here." Chreydo explained.

Chreydo pointed over to the black-haired man, who nodded. Louis looked over at him, still smiling widely.

"And who's your friend here, again?" he asked.

The man stepped up, nodding to Louis. "My name is Jeremis, sir. I am one of many delegates that were sent to the city of Soyah to begin the reunification of Jilad."

Louis extended his hand out to him. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir!"

Jeremis smiled and took Louis' hand, shaking it. Louis turned back towards the stunned Unit soldiers and pumped his arms in the air.

"Gentlemen, Captain: allow me to introduce OTHER people from the future!" he giggled. "This is Chreydo, a Magi from the Third Ai Division and this is... What was your name again?"

"Jeremis." Jeremis said.

"Jeremis! Yes, this is Jeremis!" Louis said.

"Okay." Jordahn said, blinking.

"In any case, it's fantastic to see you guys. So you're here to take me back to the present?" Louis asked, turning back towards Chreydo.

Chreydo nodded. "I've had a year to study the Tempil Gadrius spell. We can travel back to the present in a reasonable amount of time from when we left."

"As opposed to arriving a year before I left, therefore creating a huge temporal paradox?" Louis suggested.

"Exactly. But wait, what are you all doing here? History recorded some sort of occurrence at a castle with Yokui Killandro Lan, but not of the circumstances." Chreydo explained.

And so, over the next few minutes, Louis rolled out the tale of how he landed in the Kien deserts, slayed a dragon, and began his quest to change the past. Jordahn assisted as well, filling in the sections of the story about their battles with the Arbiters, Louis' descent into madness in attacking and killing any Terafell Arbiter in which they encountered. During this, Jeremis and Chreydo listened in calmly for every moment, staying silent until Louis finally finished with explaining how Prince Algaren was dead and how they were now besieged within the castle.

Jeremis finally laughed a little before saying, "Well, it would appear we have a somewhat similar situation before us."

"Oh?"

"Yes." Jeremis said, beginning his own tale. "Shortly after the beginning of the negotiations for the reunification, a Dark Knight named Myrrha assaulted Indow Chyprea and-"

Louis stepped up. "What?! What did that bitch do to Indow?!"

"Nothing, I can assure you. White Raven managed to save her before she did any harm to the Priestess. However, Dark Knights began swarming into the city and quickly conquered it. We managed to escape the city after learning from the Linkaran prophecies that you were alive. We retrieved the forbidden spell Tempil Gadrius so that we could come back and bring you to the future and hopefully defeat this new Dark Knight uprising, which, unfortunately, is being led by Myrrha." Jeremis explained.

"Well, that certainly-" Louis started to say.

"But that's not the whole story." Jeremis interrupted.

Chreydo turned his head towards Jeremis. "What? What else is there?"

Jeremis shook his head, wincing a little. "I've been making sure that I remind myself every day that I've been here for the day when I finally met the Linkara that I would say what I was going to say if the conference hadn't been interrupted. Two days before I arrived in Soyah for the conference, I was approached by two Dark Knights by the names of Antillitz and Illotel. They represent the majority of Dark Knights who wanted to negotiate for a colony or section that the Dark Knights could go to and live peacefully. They would be willing to accept any climate and hand over any weapons, armoring, or anything at all in which they'd have to do in order to have their own place."

"However, Myrrha suddenly got involved in the whole thing. She started rallying people into this hateful belief against the other people of Sin, trying to make herself into the new Darkness. However, the truth of the matter is that all the Dark Knights want is a place to call home, since they have no other place for it. Myrrha's just an insane dowejet who we need to deal with without dealing with the Dark Knights themselves. Linkara, I am asking, no, begging you to only deal with Myrrha when we return."

Louis blinked. "You're telling me to only kill that bitch Myrrha and not the other Dark Knights?"

Jeremis nodded.

Louis smiled. "Oh, hell yeah, I'll gladly do that! Please tell me I can do it twice. PLEASE tell me I can do it twice!"

*

Louis winced as he stared out of the narrow window facing the plains. There were now well over a hundred Terafell Arbiters gathered outside of the castle, and more were exiting the window and building what appeared to be some kind of primitive catapult. Most of the Arbiters were keeping their distance from the castle, but still working hard to complete their weapons to be used to destroy the small castle. Louis sighed and turned back towards the others.

"They're raising a small army out there. Why the hell don't they rush us?" he asked.

"We've earned quite a reputation in this castle, my lord. Anyone who approaches usually is attacked by us and, using my magicks, I've convinced them that a demonic presence lives in these walls." Chreydo explained.

"Any chance you could oh, I don't know, cast some spells and take care of them?" Louis suggested.

Chreydo shook his head. "There are too many of them. And since more come by the hour, our chances of success decrease significantly as we speak."

Louis sighed and nodded. "Not even the two of us combined could take on so many..."

"Couldn't we use the Tempil Gadrius and escape?" Jeremis suggested.

"Indeed, my lord. We could use it so the three of us could escape." Chreydo stated.

"Only the three of us? What about the Unit?" Louis asked, turning towards Jordahn and the other soldiers.

"It will require more study, my lord... I was not expecting this during my studies." Chreydo replied.

Louis walked back towards Jordahn. "We're not leaving them here to be killed by the Arbiters!"

"Louis, you should go back to the future with them. Don't worry about us! It is an honor to die in a hopeless battle against superior numbers!" Jordahn said.

"This Klingon crap is starting to get old real fast, Jordahn." Louis stated.

"What-on?" Jordahn asked, tilting her head to the side.

Louis rolled his eyes. "The point is that if we're going to escape, it's going to be all of us!"

"You forget that you're still under my command, Leftant [sic]! I order you to escape with these two!" Jordahn commanded.

"I resign my commission, Captain. No orders." Louis said, smiling.

Jordahn sighed and shook her head. "I walked right into that."

"In any case, I need to get you all back to Kien! I'm not going to just drag you into the future with me against your will." Louis stated.

One of the soldiers stepped up. "Do you honestly think that we would join the Kien military if we had something back in our homeland to live for?"

Louis tilted his head to the side, confused. Jeremis stepped up to explain.

"During this time period, military service was not as popular as independent mercenaryship. However, if you could not afford the life of a mercenary, or had no reason to be a mercenary, you would join the Kien military. It wasn't until later in the war when the mercenary guilds disbanded and joined the Kien military in mass numbers to fight the Arbiters that a much higher pride in the organized forces that people truly enjoyed military service." he explained.

"Not to mention we can be considered deserters since we left the land without true permission." Jordahn whispered to Louis.

"I rest my case, then. Chreydo, we need to find a way to bring us all to the present." Louis said.

"And that brings us back to our original problem: the Arbiters. We'd need to surprise them with more than just a little magic to convince them to leave." Chreydo responded.

Louis rubbed his chin as he began thinking, trying to come up with the solution. He stared over at the smoldering fireplace, watching the small streams of smoke escape it. He then looked down at his right arm, where his gauntlet rested. His eyes widened when he thought of another inspirational source of thought: Bruce Campbell. When the idea finally came to him, he snapped his fingers and turned to Chreydo.

"Chreydo, I know this might be only blind hope, but did you bring any of that flammable powder with you from the future?" he asked.

"Ligalce powder? Yes, I did. We have it in the lower level. Why?" he responded.

Louis grinned as he wiggled his fingers around in front of his face, closing them into a tight first right afterwards.

"We're going to make me a new hand."

*

"You do realize that something like this has never been created in the history of Sin." Jordahn stated, looking down at the hastily drawn pictures Louis had made.

"Considering your history only goes back so far, that doesn't surprise me." Louis replied.

"I thought you were in a state of depression over what happened with Prince Algaren." Jordahn said.

"'Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy or suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.'" Louis responded, smiling.

"Wise words. Were you quoting someone?" Jordahn asked, making a list of the materials they needed to make Louis' creation.

"Theodore Roosevelt. Nice guy." Louis responded.

Over the next day, the Unit implemented Louis' plan into an actual, physical design. The first step was constructing a small series of metallic pipes, which was done through the use of an anvil and a fire they hastily built up for heating the metal. Chreydo took the stores of Ligalce powder he had brought along the mission and kept it in a sealed metal container, holding it in the fire for an hour so the powder would melt into a useable liquid substance. Over and over, they would recheck the diagrams and redesign them to fit any problems that sprung up along the way.

The pipes were arranged in a somewhat rounded design, leading from a small tank that they had constructed. The tank was made of a heat-resistant metal that they had been forced to make out of one of their swords. The tank was inserted at the end of the pipes, allowing for one section of the pipe to pull in the liquid for shooting through the end of the pipe network. A second, larger tank was added to the end behind it, and filled with air. A crude nozzle was formed at the end of the pipes, and attached to it was a metal cylinder that Chreydo charged with fire energy.

"It should last about a day or two, since it's so small." he explained.

Louis replied that it would all he needed, and proceeded with working on the internal mechanics of the device, in which the liquid would be pumped to the end of the hoses with the use of the air tank, using the air pressure as a propellant. Also included were various valves and switches, used for the purpose of propellant and prevention of the liquid being leaked from the device.

And so, after thirteen hours of continuous work, the group finally finished the device.

*

For a day now, the Arbiters had constantly worked on new catapults to destroy the castle and prevent an attempted invasion of the castle that they thought was haunted. They realized that they could kill two birds with one stone if they just destroyed the castle instead of trying to rush in and face not only demons and specters, but the boy who they had seen fight off two dragons. And so, they merely waited and prepared, making sure they had enough soldiers to fight off any sort of attack that they would launch before they were ready.

Victory would most likely be there's this day. However, what caught them by surprise was the fact that an arrow had been launched out of the tower with a note attached to it, saying that a representative was being sent out to negotiate terms for surrender. The archers among the group all took point in case it was some kind of trick, and waited for the representative to exit.

Louis calmly walked out of the castle with a large device covering most of his right arm. The metallic pipes on the device were most of the design, with some type of plastic-like substance making tubes that went to two tanks on his back. The end of the device was a nozzle the size of a salt & peppershaker, and switches lined the top of the thing. The Arbiter stepped forward, smiling from behind his helmet, although confused as to what Louis had that was attached to his arm.

"Greetings." the Arbiter said.

Louis smiled and nodded. "Hello."

"I understand that you are here to negotiate your surrender."

"No."

The Arbiter raised an eyebrow. "Then why are you here?"

"I'm here to negotiate your surrender."

"Perhaps I'm mistaken, but my forces greatly outnumber your own, we are just about ready to crush you and everyone within this castle, and quite a few of us have always wanted the chance to kill a Kien warrior." the Arbiter said.

"I know that." Louis responded, still smiling.

"Then why do you think it is we who will surrender?" The Arbiter asked, smiling once more in pride for his retorts.

For a moment, Louis didn't answer. The Arbiter assumed that Louis was just a stupid child and hadn't thought things through, and laughed inside of his head at the prospect of this impudent teenager trying to stand up to him. Before the Arbiter could speak again, however, Louis extended his right arm, aiming the device at a tree about twenty feet away from them. His left hand moved over to the switches, and immediately flipped half of them on. When he flipped the final switch, the ligalce liquid streamed through the device and hit the fire-imbued cylinder that the Unit had dubbed the ‘candle.’

As soon as it touched the candle, the liquid that was being shot out of the device became a long, streaming flame. The Arbiter jumped back in shock, and the Arbiters holding the crossbows nearly dropped them in surprise. The flame from the device hit the tree it had been aimed at, the wood immediately being scorched and burned. Louis kept the flame going for another two seconds before he closed the valve, shutting off the flame. He then repositioned his arm, aiming it at the Arbiter who had fallen onto his back in surprise.

"See this? This is my dragon's breath. See that tree? That's you. Are we clear?" Louis asked calmly.

"Very clear." the Arbiter said, wincing behind his helmet.

"Good. Order your men to retreat back into Walsz and stay there, and we'll be on our merry way. Okay?"

The Arbiter nodded once more.

"That's what I thought." Louis said, grinning as he pulled back his arm.
RiffingShow
"Chreydo? CHREYDO!" Louis exclaimed.
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Louis leaped forward and quickly wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Chreydo! What the hell are you doing here?!" he shouted happily.
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The prophecies said you would be here!
"Here" as in "the past", or "this castle"? I certainly haven't read anything about a castle prophecy.
"We are not sure entirely, my lord. I believe it has been close to a year."
No there's a hook for a spin-off fanfic if I ever saw one.
"We were immediately arrested by the Terafell Arbiters, but thanks to my magic, I was able to escape with Jeremis here." Chreydo explained.
You know, there is a lot weird shit going on in this time period which you'd think some historian might've catched.
"In any case, it's fantastic to see you guys. So you're here to take me back to the present?" Louis asked, turning back towards Chreydo.
Oh, please. Maybe the writing might marginally improve if Linkara (the author) has less stupid plots to juggle around.
Chreydo nodded. "I've had a year to study the Tempil Gadrius spell. We can travel back to the present in a reasonable amount of time from when we left."
(By that he means "Whenever it is convenient for the plot").
"As opposed to arriving a year before I left, therefore creating a huge temporal paradox?" Louis suggested.
Wiat. Didn't you declare that time paradoxes don't matter?
"Exactly. But wait, what are you all doing here? History recorded some sort of occurrence at a castle with Yokui Killandro Lan, but not of the circumstances." Chreydo explained.
Don't you love it when the exposition is annoyingly vague? There's no way those history records weren't more specific.
And so, over the next few minutes, Louis rolled out the tale of how he landed in the Kien deserts, slayed a dragon, and began his quest to change the past. Jordahn assisted as well, filling in the sections of the story about their battles with the Arbiters, Louis' descent into madness in attacking and killing any Terafell Arbiter in which they encountered.
I wouldn't call it a "descent". That's just his baseline.
Jeremis finally laughed a little before saying, "Well, it would appear we have a somewhat similar situation before us."

"Oh?"
"How dare you guys have adventures without me!"
"But that's not the whole story." Jeremis interrupted.

Chreydo turned his head towards Jeremis. "What? What else is there?"
You guys have hanged out for a year in the past, and you dare to still keep secrets from Chreydo?! The nerve!
"Two days before I arrived in Soyah for the conference, I was approached by two Dark Knights by the names of Antillitz and Illotel. They represent the majority of Dark Knights who wanted to negotiate for a colony or section that the Dark Knights could go to and live peacefully. They would be willing to accept any climate and hand over any weapons, armoring, or anything at all in which they'd have to do in order to have their own place."
Oh, so that's why Indow's friend (aka Antillitz) was introduced. Seems my theory of them splitting off into the "White Knights" might be the correct one.
Though if they represent the (silent) majority, how come they all decided to make Crazy Myrrha the new admin of their Discord channel?
"However, Myrrha suddenly got involved in the whole thing. She started rallying people into this hateful belief against the other people of Sin"
Ah, so Linkara (the author) decides to make Myrrha the ultimate evil after all so victory can be achieved without Total Dark Knight Death.
Also did Myrrha order every single Dark Knight to not mention her racial supremacy propaganda when Raven was around? This is the first we've heard of this shit.
Louis blinked. "You're telling me to only kill that bitch Myrrha and not the other Dark Knights?"
Must be hard for you, seeing how much you loved brutalizing them last book...
Louis smiled. "Oh, hell yeah, I'll gladly do that! Please tell me I can do it twice. PLEASE tell me I can do it twice!"
Oh, that's easy. Just kill her in the future first, then hop onto Epoch and go to the time period immediately before that (skipping the Day of Lavos as usual)...

*
Louis winced as he stared out of the narrow window facing the plains. There were now well over a hundred Terafell Arbiters gathered outside of the castle, and more were exiting the window and building what appeared to be some kind of primitive catapult.
As opposed to a state-of-the-art tactical catapult?
"We've earned quite a reputation in this castle, my lord. Anyone who approaches usually is attacked by us and, using my magicks, I've convinced them that a demonic presence lives in these walls." Chreydo explained.
And he would've gotten away with it, if it wasn't for that meddling Linkara!
"Any chance you could oh, I don't know, cast some spells and take care of them?" Louis suggested.
Dude, you've already killed like hundreds of these guys. Just do it yourself.
Louis sighed and nodded. "Not even the two of us combined could take on so many..."
You sure about that? Sounds more like a plot contrivance to me.
"Couldn't we use the Tempil Gadrius and escape?" Jeremis suggested.

"Indeed, my lord. We could use it so the three of us could escape." Chreydo stated.

"Only the three of us? What about the Unit?" Louis asked, turning towards Jordahn and the other soldiers.
Oh, they'll be fine. Someone has to live to write your exploits down, after all.
"Louis, you should go back to the future with them. Don't worry about us! It is an honor to die in a hopeless battle against superior numbers!" Jordahn said.
Image
"This Klingon crap is starting to get old real fast, Jordahn." Louis stated.
Hey, I was only joking that they're Kingons.
"You forget that you're still under my command, Leftant [sic]! I order you to escape with these two!" Jordahn commanded.

"I resign my commission, Captain. No orders." Louis said, smiling.
I see you're done LARPing Metroid: Other M.
"During this time period, military service was not as popular as independent mercenaryship. However, if you could not afford the life of a mercenary, or had no reason to be a mercenary, you would join the Kien military. It wasn't until later in the war when the mercenary guilds disbanded and joined the Kien military in mass numbers to fight the Arbiters that a much higher pride in the organized forces that people truly enjoyed military service." he explained.
Who cares which job has more prestige? I thought these Kien guys only cared about their personal glory?
And how can you "not afford the life of a mercenary"? Unless you suck at fighting that shouldn't be a problem ('cause you'd be dead).
And why would mercenaries disband during a time of war? That's where lotsa money can be made!
"Not to mention we can be considered deserters since we left the land without true permission." Jordahn whispered to Louis.
Took you a while to bring that up.
"I rest my case, then. Chreydo, we need to find a way to bring us all to the present." Louis said.

"And that brings us back to our original problem: the Arbiters. We'd need to surprise them with more than just a little magic to convince them to leave." Chreydo responded.
Any reason why you can't just cast the spell in the castle? Do you really have to get rid of these yokels first?
Louis rubbed his chin as he began thinking, trying to come up with the solution. He stared over at the smoldering fireplace, watching the small streams of smoke escape it. He then looked down at his right arm, where his gauntlet rested. His eyes widened when he thought of another inspirational source of thought: Bruce Campbell.
Image

Not this shit again. You're always looking for excuse to cosplay as Ash, aren't you? Creepy-ass Bruce Campell skinwalker...
Louis grinned as he wiggled his fingers around in front of his face, closing them into a tight first right afterwards.

"We're going to make me a new hand."
He's somehow gonna make them build him a fully-functional chainsaw hand, isn't he?
What the fuck is his obsession with chainsaw hands as the ultimate weapon, anyways? Dude's got electrical arm blades that can one-shot dragons and cut through steel like a hot knife through butter. How's an unwieldy chainsaw gonna top that?
"I thought you were in a state of depression over what happened with Prince Algaren." Jordahn said.
"The Great Linkara has no time to mourn dead royalty, for the Great Linkara is about to become Ash Williams for real."

(Also he has been nothing but sunshine and rainbows since he met Chreydo again - especially after finding out that he can get another shot at brutalizing a woman.)
"'Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy or suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.'" Louis responded, smiling.

"Wise words. Were you quoting someone?" Jordahn asked, making a list of the materials they needed to make Louis' creation.

"Theodore Roosevelt. Nice guy." Louis responded.
I guess that works, too. Also nice of him to cite his sources, unlike that time he appropriated Shakespeare.
Over the next day, the Unit implemented Louis' plan into an actual, physical design. The first step was constructing a small series of metallic pipes, which was done through the use of an anvil and a fire they hastily built up for heating the metal.
Small pipes. With an anvil. Okay, so you're gonna roll up and weld tiny metal sheets or something?
Chreydo took the stores of Ligalce powder he had brought along the mission and kept it in a sealed metal container, holding it in the fire for an hour so the powder would melt into a useable liquid substance.
So you're gonna make some kind of oil out of this powder? Okay.
At least it's a sealed so the flammable powder doesn't start burning.
The pipes were arranged in a somewhat rounded design, leading from a small tank that they had constructed. The tank was made of a heat-resistant metal that they had been forced to make out of one of their swords. The tank was inserted at the end of the pipes, allowing for one section of the pipe to pull in the liquid for shooting through the end of the pipe network. A second, larger tank was added to the end behind it, and filled with air. A crude nozzle was formed at the end of the pipes, and attached to it was a metal cylinder that Chreydo charged with fire energy.
Oh, so it's not a chainsaw.
It's a fucking flamethrower.



May I remind you that Chreydo is a fucking wizard who can already conjure all the fire and laser light shows you could possibly ask for?
Sure, this shit is likely for Linkara, but the guy shot lightning at least once last book. What happened to that trick?

They wasted time they could've used to actually cast the time travel spell (or have Chreydo scare off the Terafellas if that was of such vital importance) to cobble together a flamethrower for Linkara.
"It should last about a day or two, since it's so small." he explained.

Louis replied that it would all he needed, ...
You can have him actually say that. No reason to have this odd half-dialogue.
... and proceeded with working on the internal mechanics of the device, in which the liquid would be pumped to the end of the hoses with the use of the air tank, using the air pressure as a propellant.
How did you make an air tank?
How does the 14-year-old boy know how to make any of this, anyways?

*
Louis calmly walked out of the castle with a large device covering most of his right arm.
Image
The metallic pipes on the device were most of the design, with some type of plastic-like substance making tubes that went to two tanks on his back.
How did you make a "plastic-like substance"? You go through all this autistic elaboration on this flamethrower, and then you just skip over details like this.
The end of the device was a nozzle the size of a salt & peppershaker
How far is the end of the nozzle away from your hand? Could be important if you don't want fantasy-napalm on your hand.
"Then why do you think it is we who will surrender?" The Arbiter asked, smiling once more in pride for his retorts.

For a moment, Louis didn't answer. The Arbiter assumed that Louis was just a stupid child and hadn't thought things through, and laughed inside of his head at the prospect of this impudent teenager trying to stand up to him.
Shouldn't they know by now that he's an invincible flying demigod? They chased them here. They've seen him take off and kill their dragon riders.
Before the Arbiter could speak again, however, Louis extended his right arm, aiming the device at a tree about twenty feet away from them. His left hand moved over to the switches, and immediately flipped half of them on. When he flipped the final switch, the ligalce liquid streamed through the device and hit the fire-imbued cylinder that the Unit had dubbed the ‘candle.’
Why does this thing have so many switches? It's just a glorified hose with a lighter at the end.
As soon as it touched the candle, the liquid that was being shot out of the device became a long, streaming flame. The Arbiter jumped back in shock, and the Arbiters holding the crossbows nearly dropped them in surprise. The flame from the device hit the tree it had been aimed at, the wood immediately being scorched and burned. Louis kept the flame going for another two seconds before he closed the valve, shutting off the flame. He then repositioned his arm, aiming it at the Arbiter who had fallen onto his back in surprise.
Chreydo could've done this in a lot less than 13 fucking hours. But no, you wanted to be cool like Bruce Campbell.

I guess maybe he wants to use this thing against Myrrha, but carrying this thing into actual super-powered battle would have a very high chance of setting him on fire.
"Good. Order your men to retreat back into Walsz and stay there, and we'll be on our merry way. Okay?"

The Arbiter nodded once more.

"That's what I thought." Louis said, grinning as he pulled back his arm.
The castle inhabitants would later get burned by an entire swarm of dragons.
Next Time: Lets see how many cans of whoop ass Super Myrrha can open, shall we?
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sat Feb 15, 2025 7:42 pm

Book 2, Chapter 14 - Full Circle
(Or: Half Circle Consequences)



After... whatever the fuck last chapter was, we finally return to the present where... eh, what was going on there again?
Image

Oh, right. Myrrha's gonna kill everyone.
RecapShow
Past
Image

Chreydo the magus makes his magnificent return - but there can be no light without shadow, so we have to suffer through another self-insert power fantasy filler chapter.

Somehow casting the time travel spell to get back to the future present requires a lot more time and preparation, even though Chreydo hastily learned and cast the spell in a matter of minutes.
Somehow this will require enough time that they have to deal with the Terafellas besieging them.
Somehow the Terafellas are a credible threat now that can only be overcome with tricks and ingenuity, instead of a minor nuisance that Linkara can wipe out in arbitrary numbers off-screen (as he has done all the time in this book).
Somehow Linkara, the 14-year-old idiot boy, knows how to build an arm-mounted flamethrower with way too many switches for a glorified hose.
Somehow they have the materials and know-how to actually build the thing, with the only instance of magic use being an ignitation crystal - even though making a flame would've probably been the least technologically-demanding task. Maybe Chreydo also used magic to make the fucking plastic and compressed air tank, but we don't know. We only get autistic exposition for some details of the device, while others are just glanced over.

So, how does Linkara managed to drive off the oh-so dangerous Terafellas with this wonderful toy?
By using the flamethrower to set a tree on fire, which scares the Terafellas so much they agree to piss off.

They wasted the better part of a day to build this thing - when Chreydo could've just swaggered over to the battlements and do this:
Image

In fact he has done this multiple times already to cultivate the rumors of the castle being haunted.
But noooo, this is a self-insert power fantasy book, so all the important shit has to be done by the Great Linkara, or at least heavily revolve around him - like all the times Indow had to prostitute herself.
You know, if I write it like this, I almost get the impression that Indow is not just the author's ideal waifu, but also the self-insert for his cocksluttery :? .

He might think about using the flamethrower against Myrrha, but entering a dumb animu demigod battle carrying a highly-flammable liquid on your body doesn't sound like a smart idea IMO.
Can't he just use Force Lightning? He did use that last book against the Darkness, and that was before his armor reached its final form. Did Linkara (the author) forget about that?

Oh, and apparently the Band of the Linkster's gonna time travel with the others. It'd be pretty weird if all of them manage to end up in the future, because without them there would've been nobody in Kien to tell the legend of the warrior from the future.

Worldbuilding tidbits:
  • As it turns out (and was never hinted at), being part of the Kien army is considered some lower-class scum job for losers who couldn't afford the luxurious lifestyle of a mercenary. Makes you wonder why Gyaru Casca was so autistic about becoming Captain.
    Considering the people of Kien are basically Klingons, any job dealing with combat and general bloodshed should be more desirable than any other job.
Present
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We had another chapter that only focused on a single timeline. Not sure why. It was a pretty short chapter, and this one appears to be even shorter.
I guess Linkara (the author) thinks his books have to have at least 20 chapters or so.
ChapterShow
After Myrrha had entered the fray, the battle quickly came to an end. The absorption of so many people gave her an unnatural access to magical energies, and therefore was able to merely point and click in her mind what she wanted it to do to make it happen. For some, she would merely look at them and allow them to burst into flames. For others, she would launch energy slices outwards from her sword, killing many and injuring more. Arrows and spells were useless, as she would repel anything thrown at her back at her attackers. In fact, the people who had the best bet were the more skilled swordsmen who came in very close to Myrrha and tried to stab her.

Unfortunately for them, Myrrha's perception of time changed. Anytime someone attempted to swing a sword at her, she could see things slower than what was going on, and merely stepped out of the way and planted her own sword into approaching enemies. In fact, by the time that people stopped trying to stab her, her sword was covered in so much blood that you couldn't tell if the sword had always had a red color or if it was merely the blood covering it's normal shine.

Indow had been the first focus of her attacks, sending out wave after wave of energy at her. Indow's Protection spells were utterly useless against the onslaught, but in an uncharacteristic display of chivalry, Lithmenar had always attempted to get Indow out of the direct path of the blasts. Unfortunately, this just meant that the blasts hit the ground, which quickly exploded underneath their feet. When the dust settled, no one could see Indow or Lithmenar. The theory was that they were buried beneath one of the many large piles of rubble that now made up the streets of Soyah.

Seven hundred warriors and Sorcerers were annihilated before the Generals finally ordered a full retreat. A few remained behind, determined to stop Myrrha. However, many soon realized how hopeless it was, and either retreated or attempted to hide within Soyah to make their next move against the Eclipsed Legion. Fifty minutes after the great army retreated, the power finally left Myrrha. When the Lokmanwo spell finally faded, Myrrha found herself extraordinarily drained from the experience. White Raven finally came down to her, assisting her in many capacities while Healers attended to injuries she sustained.

Myrrha grinned at White Raven as she kept her eyes closed. "You see? I told you we could hold our own against them..."

"Indeed..." White Raven replied, turning away to watch as many of the Dark Knights were busily trying to clear up the rubble and rebuild defenses.

"Is something troubling you, Raven?" Myrrha asked, breathing in deeply.

"...I have now had to fight people who, not too long ago, I considered my friends." she responded, staring at the ground.

"They were our enemies, Raven. Never forget that." Myrrha said, slowly standing on her own as the Healers finished applying Illician dust to a bleeding wound on her forehead.

"If you'll excuse me, your majesty, I must... go and think." White Raven said, walking from them.

As soon as White Raven was out of hearing range, Myrrha rolled her eyes and rubbed her aching arms.

"Whiny little maggot..." she growled to herself.

*

"They WHAT?!"

Rohaq slammed his hands into his desk and stood up, facing the Arbiter Emenent who had just given his report to him. The Emenent, a tall man by the name of Optiloq, merely stood in the Chief Loyalty Enforcer's (CLE) office, told Rohaq of the events of besieging the castle and of how Louis had constructed some type of device that spit flames from it that utterly destroyed a tree nearby, and how they had immediately surrendered and retreated to the city to avoid a possible slaughter. Rohaq growled and balled up his fist, sending it flying into Optiloq's face. Optiloq's head moved to the side, but he didn't fall, despite the sudden pain he was feeling in his jaw.

"You give me some fairy tale about how he mastered flames and frightened you a little and you retreated?! Do you realize the penalty for failure of an assigned task, Emenent?!" Rohaq shouted, his eyes almost bulging from his head.

"Extreme torture followed by subsequent demotion to next lowest rank." Optiloq replied, still remaining tall.

"And this does not frighten you in any way, Emenent?" Rohaq growled, sitting back down.

"Terafell's gaze is upon me today, Chief. He knows that if I had not retreated, it is very likely that these... flame devices would have destroyed the entire force, therefore eliminating many servants for he who watches over us. Although I did fail, I know that when I stand in the Judgment Halls, Terafell will smile and allow me entry into the land beyond." Optiloq explained.

Rohaq smiled. "Your dedication to the one who watches over us is admirable, Emenent. I like that. Although Terafell may forgive you, the Arbiter Loyalty Enforcers are a different matter. I will allow you a chance at redemption. My records say that you are an adept hunter and tracker. Is this correct?"

Optiloq nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Then you are going to put those skills to good practice now." Rohaq said, smiling and grabbing his black helmet.

Rohaq began walking out of his office, leading Optiloq behind him.

"I still have a... 'debt' to repay to this child who calls himself 'Lister of Smeg.' You will lead me to him, and then one of us shall kill him. It doesn't matter who does it as long as he is dead. If this is done, no punishment shall be dealt upon you. Pack all the supplies you require. Oh, and get me another dragon to ride! We move out in two hours!" Rohaq declared.

*

From then on, the Unit proceeded a lot more happily out of the area. Immediately after Louis' stunt with the flamethrower, the group packed up and left the castle to try to head back to Kien and more secure areas. Along the way, Chreydo continued reexamining certain parts of the Tempil Gadrius spell and doing small tests of it to send rocks into the future and then attempt to retrieve them to ensure accuracy. One of the real problems was a matter of mathematics. Chreydo was no scientist or mathematician, and therefore couldn't entirely predict exact coordinates for the portal, since Sin was always spinning around a sun and therefore never exactly in the same place twice. For some reason, the portals remained in a fixed point in space, despite whatever time they left or arrived in.

As such, Chreydo was trying to make sure that he wouldn't accidentally rematerialize the group over an ocean or in the middle of space.

"So the problem with suing tobacco companies is that when we try to have the government control private enterprise, we essentially turn ourselves into fascists. I mean, by the logic of suing them for selling tobacco, why don't we sue fast food for making people fat, or soft drinks because they cause osteoporosis and tooth decay? It’s the same bloody thing, pure, raw stupidity!" Louis said.

"I see it from your perspective, Louis, but their product is essentially killing people." Jeremis replied, shifting the bags on his back to make it more comfortable for him.

"My response to that? LIFE kills people. Everybody dies, it's just a matter of how and when. Sure, second-hand smoke kills, but there are ways to avoid that other than suing the tobacco industry. It's all a matter of free will. You don't have to start smoking, and people who are smoking because they're addicted to it completely need to get help." Louis stated.

Jeremis shrugged and continued walking. The two had been having a stimulating conversation concerning the rights of responsibilities wrongful death, since certain powders and potions of the future, when tested, caused a considerable amount of damage, yet they had a variety of useful purposes. Louis had spun off a bit to explain tobacco and smoking, and explaining his stance on tobacco companies.

For a few weeks, the Unit traveled unabated towards a temporary rest spot where they could relax and catch their bearings. Fortunately, Louis already knew a spot: the forest next to the village of Lin. It contained some of the tallest trees in Ai, and if traveling on foot for five days, one could enter the near middle of the forest. At least, that's what Louis assumed, since it had taken him five days of wandering after Rain Vendre had been killed to leave the forest, initially. Louis thought that, at best, there'd just be a small clearing in which he could relax and allow the Unit some much-needed rest. Nothing could have prepared him for what he found instead.

"It's... Rain's cabin." Louis said, staring at the structure that stood before him.

"Indeed, my lord. Rain once mentioned to me that the cabin had been adopted by her family over a few hundred years ago, but for it to be this old..." Chreydo said, also confused by this turn of events.

"Whatever the case, this cottage is now our home for some time while Chreydo completes his studies of the spell." Jordahn said, walking towards the cabin's door.

"Wait!" Louis shouted, stepping towards Jordahn. "We don't know what's in there, and furthermore-"

Louis stopped when he spotted something off to the side of the cabin. He moved away from Jordahn and walked towards the thing that had caught his eye - a wooden cross that was made of two wood boards tied together with some rope. It had been pushed off against a tree while the grave that it had been standing over was dug up, a great hole staring back up at Louis. The blood drained from his face as he turned around to the others.

"Garik told me that when he arrived at the cottage, he dug up Rain's body and gave her a proper burial. That's over 1,000 years from now. What the hell is this thing doing here?!"

Chreydo stepped forward towards the door to Rain's cottage and pulled the handle. The door opened slowly, and he took a quick peak inside of it. A layer of dust and cardboard had manifested itself in the single-room cottage, perpetuating the idea that no one had set foot in the cottage for quite some time. Chreydo took a step into it before Louis put his arm on his shoulder, trying to get him to stop.

"It's all right, my lord. I have a theory about this." Chreydo replied, turning around to face Louis.

"You do?" Louis asked, tilting his head inquisitively.

Chreydo nodded. "Perhaps the true reason for Tempil Gadrius being decreed forbidden was the fact that it creates an imbalance in time. Jeremis and I encountered something similar when we were in the castle. We saw a rat make its way across a doorway three times before it did not repeat itself. As such, in this area, we have a cottage that does not belong in this time period simply sitting here."

You're saying that the spell makes temporal disruptions?" Louis asked.

Chreydo nodded once more.

"Then how do we fix them?" Louis inquired.

"Theoretically, when we return to our proper time, the disruptions will-"

Before Chreydo could finish his sentence, the cottage suddenly disappeared around them. The two, who had been standing in the doorway, were now in a small clearing in the center of the woods, back with the other members of the Unit. They quickly looked around themselves, confused as to what happened. Jordahn exchanged gazes with Louis, and she simply shrugged, not understanding what had occurred any more than he did. Louis sighed and walked away to set up his tent.

"I hate this shithole planet..." he mumbled.

*

"My lord, are you awake? I was wondering-"

Chreydo stopped and saw that Louis was no longer in his tent. Night had fallen, and the Unit had decided to take up residence in the clearing until Chreydo was ready to initiate the spell. Chreydo, wanting to talk about a plan of action when they returned to the present, had just entered Louis' tent. Seeing that he was gone, he shrugged and decided that a walk might do him some good. He thought he might encounter an Orc or some such creature that would allow him to get some exercise before he went back to work on the spell.

His feet took him along an uneven path, navigating through either thick brush or thin trees as he merely thought about all his experiences over the past two years and smiled. He knew his brother, watching down on him from the heavens, was proud of everything he had accomplished. Realizing that the trees were beginning to shadow away the moonlight that he was using to navigate the forest, Chreydo held out his hand and stared into it, focusing mystical energies within him.

"LIGHT!" he proclaimed.

A single orb of light appeared in his hand, illuminating the area around him. He smiled and considered putting his hand through the orb to see what light felt like, but knew that all he would do is disrupt the spell and make him cast it all over again. His train of thought was interrupted when he heard light sobs coming from twenty feet away. He turned the lighting spell in the direction of the crying and blinked at the sight before him. Louis was sitting in a fetal position, his legs in his arms, and his eyes staring off into a small lake.

Chreydo slowly started approaching, tilting his head in confusion as Louis continued crying softly.

"My lord?" he asked.

Louis slowly turned around, seeing Chreydo approach him. Tears were rolling down his face and coming out of bloodshot eyes. He sighed and turned back to the water, resting his head on his knees. He tried to control his crying a little more as he wiped his face on his shoulder to remove some of the tears that were still there. Chreydo stood behind Louis, an eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Are you all right?" he asked..

Louis bit his lower lip, closing his eyes and sniffling a little.

"No, Chreydo, I'm not all right." Louis responded.

"What is the matter? Can I help?" he asked, getting down to one knee.

Louis grit his teeth. "No, you can't, Chreydo. This has been building for awhile now, it's just I've been able to keep it down until an hour ago."

"What has, my lord?" Chreydo asked.

"Everything." he said, tightening his grip around his legs. "Chreydo, I've been on this planet for about six months, and I can't take much more of this. This forest, these clothes, the constant battle... I'm sick of it!"

"But I've never seen you express any kind of sadness before..."

"It's an act, Chreydo! I put on a brave face and I suck up my sadness and tell myself I need to focus on the tasks at hand instead of dwelling on things I can't control! The food is the same, over and over, my hair is a disheveled mess without any shampoo or regular showers, and I have to kill people to stay alive! That is NOT the life for a fourteen year-old! Hell, I've probably missed my fifteenth birthday back on earth by now! I can barely remember what my parents look like, or my fricking brother who always used to call me 'dork!' My friends are all back on earth, and I don't know if they even know I'm gone, or if no time at all has passed, or if I'm ever even going to GET home!

"I don't have any teachers to have discussions or debates with, no internet to communicate with people around the world and keep up the illusion that I actually exist in the outside world, and no people to tell me that they love me and they appreciate me!"

"I appreciate and love you, my lord!" Chreydo said.

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" Louis yelled, standing up. "You only do so because I represent your goddamned religion! Guess what, Magi: I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR RELIGIOUS LEADER! I want to sit around and watch TV, or read comics and manga! You people thrust your praises and your beliefs onto me and expect me to act out a role that I have no interest in acting out! This armor was an accident, nothing more! Stop calling me 'my lord!' I'm not your lord, I'm just a kid who was thrown into a situation beyond his control!"

Chreydo continued sitting, gaping at Louis with his mouth wide open.

Louis continued: "As a matter of fact, there's only one other person who might've actually truly loved me, and that's Indow! But she's not here! And by the way you described the way you left her back in Vahn, I'm NEVER going to see her again! I hate you! I hate this whole fucking planet!"

Louis fell to his knees, pounding his fists on the grass and soil.

"I want to go home! I don't want this place anymore!"

The welled-up tears in his eyes flowed down his cheeks as he continued slamming his fists into the ground.

"I want to go home! I want to go home! I WANT TO GO HOME!"

*

Louis awoke the next day at dawn. He rubbed his eyes a little as he pushed the blanket made of animal skins off of him. He turned his head to the side, seeing Chreydo sitting in a chair next to the bed, another blanket covering him. Louis was confused for a moment, but then remembered that after last night, he had been so tired from his crying and ranting that he had fallen asleep. He figured that Chreydo must've carried him back to the tent and watched over him during the night.

"Got to give him some credit for devotion." he murmured.

The sudden noise woke Chreydo. He started sitting up, but Louis motioned for him to keep sitting.

"Are you all right, my lord?" he asked.

Louis nodded and sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. I guess I'm just homesick. I'm sorry for what I said last night."

"It's all right, my lord. You had every right to say what you said. Perhaps you are right. We simply informed you that you were our savior without allowing for you to have the choice. However, you must understand that we were only trying to save our world." Chreydo responded.

"Yeah, I know. I still miss earth, though..."

"Nor can anything I say remove that pain, my lord. However, the fact remains that there is a great deal of work ahead of us."

Louis nodded. "Do you think Indow's all right?"

"My lord, I once saw that Priestess channel the energy of 25 Sorcerers into a single, focused Mirror Spell that assisted in the annihilation of an army of Dark Knights. No act of Necronomica could ever harm her."

Louis smiled, standing up. After dressing, the two exited to find the camp already bustling with breakfast rituals. Fruits and meats were being prepared and cleaned, and two soldiers were setting up a large table for the group to eat at. It had been essentially the same thing that they had gone through for some time now, and they were being treated to it yet again. Louis joined the others, forcing a smile onto his face as his thoughts brought him back to earth, but with Indow in his arms. He'd introduce her to Star Trek and Lord of the Rings and Tenchi Muyo. The idea was a very happy one, but Louis also knew that the dream would be torn away by the image of skeletons attacking and slaying-

An explosion sent Louis onto his back. He yelped, pain shooting through his stomach and back from the blast. He groaned and opened his eyes, trying to figure out what was going on. The other Unit soldiers were quickly recomposing themselves after they, too, had been blown away from the table. Many were going for weapons as they saw a group of Terafell Arbiters approaching. Louis ignored the pain that he was feeling and jumped up, letting his armor flow over him. As he jumped further into the air, his wings extended and immediately brought him to the skies. The cause of the explosion was apparent now: a dragon that Rohaq was riding.

Rohaq laughed with demonic glee as he brought the dragon around to face Louis and kicked the dragon on one of its lung sacs. Through training, the dragon had quickly learned that this meant that it should shoot its fire, and it complied. Louis winced and tried to bring his wings around to shield him from the blast, but it was too late. A fireball propelled from the dragon's mouth, slamming directly into Louis' chest. The explosion engulfed him instantly, and he shut his eyes to protect them from any of the fire. Through training, the dragon had quickly learned that this meant that it should shoot its fire, and it complied. Louis winced and tried to bring his wings around to shield him from the blast, but it was too late. A fireball propelled from the dragon's mouth, slamming directly into Louis' chest. The explosion engulfed him instantly, and he shut his eyes to protect them from any of the fire.

As if the armor consciously knew of the danger to Louis, part of it quickly spread upwards and covered his face. He screamed for a moment, but finally lacked the strength to continue as he felt all of his limbs go limp and numb. The fire itself soon subsided, leaving only smoke, which Louis quickly fell from. The armor that had protected his face had not protected his hair, so most of the long hair that had grown from months of not attending a barber burned off quickly, leaving most of his head a bald mess. The armor on his face retracted into the main body as fell to the ground, his consciousness escaping him.

The last thing that Louis remembered then was the screams coming from Jordahn and Chreydo.
RiffingShow
The absorption of so many people gave her an unnatural access to magical energies, and therefore was able to merely point and click in her mind what she wanted it to do to make it happen.
How would she know what "point and click" is?
For some, she would merely look at them and allow them to burst into flames.
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For others, she would launch energy slices outwards from her sword, killing many and injuring more.
That sounds like it takes a lot more time to do. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.
And what are the odds that none of the named characters have bitten the dust yet?
In fact, the people who had the best bet were the more skilled swordsmen who came in very close to Myrrha and tried to stab her.
"The more skilled enemies have a better chance against her". How surprising.
Unfortunately for them, Myrrha's perception of time changed. Anytime someone attempted to swing a sword at her, she could see things slower than what was going on, and merely stepped out of the way and planted her own sword into approaching enemies.
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In fact, by the time that people stopped trying to stab her, her sword was covered in so much blood that you couldn't tell if the sword had always had a red color or if it was merely the blood covering it's normal shine.
That's a very even application of blood there.
Indow had been the first focus of her attacks, sending out wave after wave of energy at her.
Oh, look. The named character somehow survives multiple attacks by the dark demigod.
Unfortunately, this just meant that the blasts hit the ground, which quickly exploded underneath their feet. When the dust settled, no one could see Indow or Lithmenar. The theory was that they were buried beneath one of the many large piles of rubble that now made up the streets of Soyah.
I don't think you really make "theories" about the fate of people in a battle when the battle is still ongoing.
Fifty minutes after the great army retreated, the power finally left Myrrha. When the Lokmanwo spell finally faded, Myrrha found herself extraordinarily drained from the experience.
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Can they keep repeating this power-up over and over again, or will they be fucked if enemy reinforcements arrive?
As soon as White Raven was out of hearing range, Myrrha rolled her eyes and rubbed her aching arms.

"Whiny little maggot..." she growled to herself.
Man, you just know Myrrha is pure evil by how she's saying mean things about Raven behind her back.

*
"They WHAT?!"

Rohaq slammed his hands into his desk and stood up, facing the Arbiter Emenent who had just given his report to him.
Image

I fucking knew this loser would become a recurring characer, but can't we just fuck off into the present already? I know we still have 6 chapters to go before this travesty of a book ends, but you can probably find a way to waste all of that time in the present.
Also what the fuck is an "Emenent", and why isn't it italicized like those other made-up words?
The Emenent, a tall man by the name of Optiloq
Ah, Optilock. My favorite Transformer.
Rohaq growled and balled up his fist, sending it flying into Optiloq's face.
He loves punching people in the face about as much as Linkara loves doing grotch kicks, or that flying mule kick he has started doing in this book.
"You give me some fairy tale about how he mastered flames and frightened you a little and you retreated?!"
How many more of their people does Linkara need to brutalize before they take him seriously?
"Do you realize the penalty for failure of an assigned task, Emenent?!" Rohaq shouted, his eyes almost bulging from his head.

"Extreme torture followed by subsequent demotion to next lowest rank." Optiloq replied, still remaining tall.

"And this does not frighten you in any way, Emenent?" Rohaq growled, sitting back down.

"Terafell's gaze is upon me today, Chief. He knows that if I had not retreated, it is very likely that these... flame devices would have destroyed the entire force, therefore eliminating many servants for he who watches over us. Although I did fail, I know that when I stand in the Judgment Halls, Terafell will smile and allow me entry into the land beyond." Optiloq explained.
"LMAO nigga, torture me all you want, I already got my ticket to fucking paradise!"

Huh, you don't see that downside of being an evil order of religious nutjobs very often.
"I still have a... 'debt' to repay to this child who calls himself 'Lister of Smeg.' You will lead me to him, and then one of us shall kill him. It doesn't matter who does it as long as he is dead. If this is done, no punishment shall be dealt upon you. Pack all the supplies you require. Oh, and get me another dragon to ride! We move out in two hours!" Rohaq declared.
Surely this time the invincible demigod won't curbstomp him without effort!

*
From then on, the Unit proceeded a lot more happily out of the area. Immediately after Louis' stunt with the flamethrower, the group packed up and left the castle to try to head back to Kien and more secure areas.
How fucking long does this fucking spell take now that you have to fuck off back to Kien? JFC this has "filler arc" written all over it.
Chreydo was no scientist or mathematician, and therefore couldn't entirely predict exact coordinates for the portal, since Sin was always spinning around a sun and therefore never exactly in the same place twice. For some reason, the portals remained in a fixed point in space, despite whatever time they left or arrived in.
Do you have to go through the exact same "portal"? Can't you make a new one instead?
And no shit he's fucked. Even if he were a math geek, I kinda doubt a medieval scholar has the right amount of scientific know-how to accurately predict where a point in space would be in relation to an orbiting planet a thousand years in the future.
This is just more plot contrivance to keep Linkara in the past, isn't it?
"So the problem with suing tobacco companies is that when we try to have the government control private enterprise, we essentially turn ourselves into fascists. I mean, by the logic of suing them for selling tobacco, why don't we sue fast food for making people fat, or soft drinks because they cause osteoporosis and tooth decay? It’s the same bloody thing, pure, raw stupidity!" Louis said.
Image

Does Linkara effectively advocate that everything should be legal because if you start making one thing haram, you'd have to make everything haram?
"I see it from your perspective, Louis, but their product is essentially killing
people." Jeremis replied, shifting the bags on his back to make it more comfortable for
him.
Also there's the whole lobbying thing the companies did in the past to heavily downplay the effects of smoking, but I guess Linkara the Libertarian didn't mention that.
"My response to that? LIFE kills people. Everybody dies, it's just a matter of how and when. Sure, second-hand smoke kills, but there are ways to avoid that other than suing the tobacco industry. It's all a matter of free will. You don't have to start smoking, and people who are smoking because they're addicted to it completely need to get help." Louis stated.
Fuck, I think he does want to legalize everything.
Just legalize meth I guess. Nobody's forcing you to take it, after all, and we're all gonna die anyways.
Is this like a discussion Linkara (the author) had IRL, and he's using Jeremis as a straw man so he can "win" this argument?
The two had been having a stimulating conversation concerning the rights of responsibilities wrongful death, since certain powders and potions of the future, when tested, caused a considerable amount of damage, yet they had a variety of useful purposes.
Image
Louis had spun off a bit to explain tobacco and smoking, and explaining his stance on tobacco companies.
Notorious capitalist L.J. Lovhaug supports our corporate overlords. You've heard it here first.
For a few weeks, the Unit traveled unabated towards a temporary rest spot where they could relax and catch their bearings. Fortunately, Louis already knew a spot: the forest next to the village of Lin.
Aka that forest where he pissed off the troll and somehow managed to wander around aimlessly for five days.
At least, that's what Louis assumed, since it had taken him five days of wandering after Rain Vendre had been killed to leave the forest, initially.
Everyone else seems to have taken only two days, so you probably did something wrong.
Louis thought that, at best, there'd just be a small clearing in which he could relax and allow the Unit some much-needed rest.
Why do you think there'd still be a clearing a thousand years in the past? It's more likely that clearing was made to make room for the fucking cabin in the woods.
Nothing could have prepared him for what he found instead.

"It's... Rain's cabin." Louis said, staring at the structure that stood before him.

"Indeed, my lord. Rain once mentioned to me that the cabin had been adopted by her family over a few hundred years ago, but for it to be this old..." Chreydo said, also confused by this turn of events.
Image

JFC. This is just so he can have another Rain-related Oscar bait moment, isn't it?
"Whatever the case, this cottage is now our home for some time while Chreydo completes his studies of the spell." Jordahn said, walking towards the cabin's door.
Fucking squatters.
Louis stopped when he spotted something off to the side of the cabin. He moved away from Jordahn and walked towards the thing that had caught his eye - a wooden cross that was made of two wood boards tied together with some rope. It had been pushed off against a tree while the grave that it had been standing over was dug up, a great hole staring back up at Louis. The blood drained from his face as he turned around to the others.

"Garik told me that when he arrived at the cottage, he dug up Rain's body and gave her a proper burial. That's over 1,000 years from now. What the hell is this thing doing here?!"
Rain's empty grave has traveled back in time just to trigger him.
Image

I was mentally prepared for more reasonable dumb shit, like him running into an ancestor of Rain, but this? Holy fucking shit.
Chreydo stepped forward towards the door to Rain's cottage and pulled the handle. The door opened slowly, and he took a quick peak inside of it. A layer of dust and cardboard had manifested itself in the single-room cottage, perpetuating the idea that no one had set foot in the cottage for quite some time.
Cardboard?
Image
Chreydo nodded. "Perhaps the true reason for Tempil Gadrius being decreed forbidden was the fact that it creates an imbalance in time. Jeremis and I encountered something similar when we were in the castle. We saw a rat make its way across a doorway three times before it did not repeat itself. As such, in this area, we have a cottage that does not belong in this time period simply sitting here."
So glitches in the fucking Matrix are now a thing. Great, more nonsense to waste time with.
"Theoretically, when we return to our proper time, the disruptions will-"

Before Chreydo could finish his sentence, the cottage suddenly disappeared around them. The two, who had been standing in the doorway, were now in a small clearing in the center of the woods, back with the other members of the Unit.
This glitch in the Matrix has great comedic timing, I give it that.

*
Chreydo, wanting to talk about a plan of action when they returned to the present, had just entered Louis' tent. Seeing that he was gone, he shrugged and decided that a walk might do him some good. He thought he might encounter an Orc or some such creature that would allow him to get some exercise before he went back to work on the spell.
Oh yeah, nothing gets my nogging jogging quite like a hate crime.
He smiled and considered putting his hand through the orb to see what light felt like, but knew that all he would do is disrupt the spell and make him cast it all over again.
That's certainly a sentence that needed to exist.
His train of thought was interrupted when he heard light sobs coming from twenty feet away.
*Sigh*, here we go...
Louis was sitting in a fetal position, his legs in his arms, and his eyes staring off into a small lake.
Image
"What is the matter? Can I help?" he asked, getting down to one knee.

Louis grit his teeth. "No, you can't, Chreydo. This has been building for awhile now, it's just I've been able to keep it down until an hour ago."

"What has, my lord?" Chreydo asked.

"Everything." he said, tightening his grip around his legs. "Chreydo, I've been on this planet for about six months, and I can't take much more of this. This forest, these clothes, the constant battle... I'm sick of it!"
Image
"But I've never seen you express any kind of sadness before..."

"It's an act, Chreydo! I put on a brave face and I suck up my sadness and tell myself I need to focus on the tasks at hand instead of dwelling on things I can't control!"
"I also keep acting like a smug asshole so everyone will feel as miserable as me!"

JFC, this fucker is like PUR. The only difference is that his manic phases have a higher body count.
"The food is the same, over and over..."
Eat something else? I don't remember you complaining about the wining and dining before.
"... my hair is a disheveled mess without any shampoo or regular showers..."
Jump in a river?
"... and I have to kill people to stay alive!"
LMAO since when has that ever been a problem for you?
"... and I don't know if they even know I'm gone, or if no time at all has passed, or if I'm ever even going to GET home!"
A bit late to worry about that, eh?
"I don't have any teachers to have discussions or debates with, no internet to communicate with people around the world and keep up the illusion that I actually exist in the outside world, and no people to tell me that they love me and they appreciate me!"
Check out the First World problems on this fucker.
"I appreciate and love you, my lord!" Chreydo said.

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" Louis yelled, standing up. "You only do so because I represent your goddamned religion!"
But I'm sure it's okay when the catgirl loves you, eh?
"Guess what, Magi: I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR RELIGIOUS LEADER! I want to sit around and watch TV, or read comics and manga!"
You certainly liked taking over the religion to make being a slut halal.
"You people thrust your praises and your beliefs onto me and expect me to act out a role that I have no interest in acting out!"
Complain about The Prophecy (tm), not the people.
"As a matter of fact, there's only one other person who might've actually truly loved me, and that's Indow!"
Lol I fucking knew it :lol:
Louis fell to his knees, pounding his fists on the grass and soil.
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The welled-up tears in his eyes flowed down his cheeks as he continued slamming his fists into the ground.

"I want to go home! I want to go home! I WANT TO GO HOME!"
Image

You know, maybe I would give more shit about these scenes if they didn't keep coming out of fucking nowhere, and were quickly forgotten as Linkara returns to his usual smug self.
Louis was confused for a moment, but then remembered that after last night, he had been so tired from his crying and ranting that he had fallen asleep. He figured that Chreydo must've carried him back to the tent and watched over him during the night.
That's... certainly a way to end the scene.
"Got to give him some credit for devotion." he murmured.
Would you have liked it more if he just let you sleep in the woods? Or if he had kicked you in the ribs to wake you up?
"Are you all right, my lord?" he asked.

Louis nodded and sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. I guess I'm just homesick. I'm sorry for what I said last night."
*Sigh*, back to business as usual...
Fruits and meats were being prepared and cleaned, and two soldiers were setting up a large table for the group to eat at. It had been essentially the same thing that they had gone through for some time now, and they were being treated to it yet again.
What a godforsaken purgatory this must be. Eating meat and fruit every. Single. Day.
You're a fucking pussy, Linkara.
Louis joined the others, forcing a smile onto his face as his thoughts brought him back to earth, but with Indow in his arms. He'd introduce her to Star Trek and Lord of the Rings and Tenchi Muyo
I already know her opinion on Sailor Moon, but I'm curious what she'd think about Star Trek.
An explosion sent Louis onto his back. He yelped, pain shooting through his stomach and back from the blast.
Holy shit something managed to hurt him. It took us all book, but it finally happened!
The cause of the explosion was apparent now: a dragon that Rohaq was riding.
Must've been dumb luck on Rohaq's part. Dude is fucked.
Rohaq laughed with demonic glee as he brought the dragon around to face Louis
and kicked the dragon on one of its lung sacs.
Don't you mean "its sides"? Or do Sinnian dragons have some freakish anatomy I'm not aware of?
Also they can understand and speak your language, dude.
Louis winced and tried to bring his wings around to shield him from the blast, but it was too late.
He basically loses because the plot says so. How convenient.
As if the armor consciously knew of the danger to Louis, part of it quickly spread upwards and covered his face.
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The armor that had protected his face had not protected his hair, so most of the long hair that had grown from months of not attending a barber burned off quickly, leaving most of his head a bald mess.
A) LMAO
B) Just cut your hair with a dagger or something, you filthy hobo.
The last thing that Louis remembered then was the screams coming from Jordahn and Chreydo.
This is a cliffhanger, so they'll be just fine.
Next Time: Fuck the present day again. Next chapter's going to be all about our favorite villain Rohaq.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sun Feb 16, 2025 9:50 am

Book 2, Chapter 15 - Behind Enemy Lines I
(Or: Reach out for the Cringe)



Dragons and Terafellas are scary now, apparently. What a strange new world we've found ourselves in.
Or maybe Linkara immediately goes back to clowning on them with ease, who knows.
RecapShow
Past
Rain's empty grave has traveled back in time just to trigger Linkara.

This fucking chapter, man.

Contrivances upon contrivances are piled on to justify Linkara, Chreydo and Jeremis still fucking around in the fucking past.
They have to go back to Kien.
Chreydo has to master astronomy to figure the planetary position of Sin in a thousand years so they don't end up getting transported into space.
And the time travel spell has apparently started to cause convenient glitches in the space-time continuum, which is why Rain's empty grave has traveled back in time just to trigger Linkara..

Linkara has one of his big crybaby moments. He really should spread that shit out more evenly. Dude's so schizo he turns into a completely different character whenever he feels like whining about the existential horror of his existence and how unfair everything is.
Image

Then he has a short moment of clarity where he points out that everyone only likes him because he's their messiah (which is true, tbh), but he immediately fucks it up again by thinking it's totally different when Indow likes him.

Then the Terafellas attack, and Linkara actually gets hits by a dragon's breath attack and knocked out (because the plot demanded it).
Also Chreydo and Gyaru Casca might be in trouble, but that was a cliffhanger so it doesn't count.

Oh, and apparently Linkara is a libertarian who believes the tobacco-industrial complex did nothing wrong, which is even more surprising than that time Rain's empty grave has traveled back in time just to trigger Linkara.

(Okay I'm gonna stop with that now, but honestly, how often do you get to write a sentence like that?)

Present

A pretty short one, but at least something. Super Myrrha kicks all the asses, and for some reason she has to kill seven hundred people before the good guys get the message and decide to retreat.
Pretty persistent little buggers, those good guys.

Then she runs out of ki energy and is weirdly bitchy behind Raven's back. Probably to remind us that Myrrha is evil or something.

Oh, and Indow and Lithmenar might be buried under some rubble, but that's only a "theory" - a gay theory.
ChapterShow
The first thing that Chreydo did as he saw Louis falling to the ground was to engage a Levitation spell and fly up to him. He caught Louis in his arms and descended downwards, praising the angels in heaven silently for the fact that Louis' armor was not emitting the usual defense mechanism that it had been known to do. Jordahn ran to him as he landed, lopping off the head of a Terafell Arbiter while she ran.

"Is he...?" she asked.

"He's breathing, but it's very weak." Chreydo responded, setting Louis upon the ground.

"Are your magicks effective against dragons?" she asked, looking up at the dragon that was circling the area.

"I... I don't know. Dragons are extinct in my time." Chreydo replied.

"Be so kind as to find out. Louis will be fine here. There is still a battle to be won here!" Jordahn replied, turning towards the nearest Arbiter and charging at it with her axe.

Chreydo winced and looked back down at Louis, whose head was scorched and missing most of its hair. He set Louis down onto the ground and gave him one final look before closing his eyes and silently initiating a Levitation spell. As he ascended to face the dragon, he cursed himself for never studying any healing magicks during his training.

*

Louis opened his eyes and slowly looked around. His breathing was slow, controlled as he attempted to find out what was happening. He was in a room of complete blackness, the opaque spreading in all directions around him. It was as if his own body was glowing, emanating the only light in the darkness. He looked down at himself, seeing that his gauntlet and the armor were gone. His clothes had changed, as well. Gone were the faded and worn clothes that he had carried throughout the experience on Sin. They were freshly laundered now, with their colors as brightly showing as they had been when Louis had first appeared on Sin.

He fells to his knees, nausea taking hold over him. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to overcome the sickness that was passing through his stomach. Finally, the pain subsided and he opened his eyes again. He was still in the darkness, but now he was no longer alone. A pair of legs, clothed in blue jeans, were directly in front of him. His eyes traveled upwards and saw that the face of the person standing in front of him was his own.

"Well, you've certainly screwed up this one, haven't you?" the doppelganger said.

Louis narrowed his eyes, confused. He tried to form words, but his throat felt tight, almost dry in a way. The other Louis merely glared down at him, his hands on his hips in a condescending manner.

"How the mighty have fallen, eh? I suppose you're just going to sit there and act confused?"

Louis tried to speak, but the pain in his stomach returned. His eyes widened and he gripped his sides, gasping and crying out in pain. The other Louis rolled his eyes and walked around Louis a few times, looking down at him with scorn and hate.

"I suppose you're going to cry now, aren't you? You pansy."

Louis closed his eyes, breathing deeply as the pain subsided again. He fell onto his side, realizing that the darkness had suddenly lowered its temperature by a few degrees. The double stopped in front of Louis and walked to the side. An area of the Darkness illuminated, and Louis' pupils shrunk as the images before him took shape. He saw Rain Vendre, her hair long and brown, flowing behind her as a red energy bubble encased her. It was from a bird's eye view, with only partial parts of her showing. Louis was seeing the memory of Rain's death.

He wanted to close his eyes, to not see the thing he knew would happen, but it was too late. The black blade had pierced her side, and she now fell, her body a crumpled waste in a pool of blood. Tears rolled down Louis' face, remembering the first person that had shown him kindness in this world. The other Louis looked down at Louis and groaned as if he were annoyed by Louis' behavior.

"You still blame yourself for her death. How stupid are you, anyway?"

Louis grit his teeth, trying to yell back at his double, but once again couldn't speak. The doppelganger sat down, continuing to glare at Louis. He reached out and pulled Louis up by his chin, their eyes meeting.

"You're dying right now, Louis. You haven't been able to find a good enough reason to live, so you've been dying. Back before you were sent back in time, you had a reason. You were the big hero, the Ace Rimmer to these people. You knew exactly what to do and how to save the day, but it's over now. Prophecy's fulfilled, job's done. But you didn't get the big reward, did you? You expected life to be fair, to hand something back to you for all of the 'pain' and 'hardship' you went through. However, the fact is that you didn't actually go through a lot of pain, did you? At best, you were conked on the head a couple of times and were beat up a little, but there was no trial, no struggle.

"In fact, everyone else around you was going through their own personal strife while you just continued on your merry little way to destroy the Darkness and make the world a safer place for soccer moms or whatever the hell it is they call them here. Indow was raped and tortured. White Raven was going through personal agony and misery over being a mass-murderer. Lithmenar was challenging his own being, wondering why he was turning his back on the philosophical choices he had made in life to come along with you on a suicide mission when he could be off plundering treasures and scoring. Rain Vendre sacrificed her very life in order to keep you going. You had it easy, you worthless sack of shit, so don't go crying to Chreydo because you miss your Mommy."

Louis felt his voice's strength returning, but before he could rebut the doppelganger's words, pain shot through him once more, this time in all of his body and not just his stomach. He let out a cry of pain as his vision became slightly blurred. The other Louis stood up, rolling his eyes at the boy who lay beneath him. He rolled Louis over onto his other side, another area of the darkness lighting up before him. This time, it was the image of Jordahn, clad in her leather armor, fighting off a Terafell Arbiter as cuts lined her arms and face.

The image disappeared, leaving Louis in the blackness once more. He tried to get up, forcing himself up using his hands, but his strength gave out on him and he collapsed to the ground once more. He looked up at the doppelganger and mouthed the words 'Who are you?'

"Who am I? Perhaps I'm your armor, a sentient being who shares a symbiotic relationship that you're not aware of. Perhaps I'm your conscience, come to make you see all of the horrible mistakes you've made. Or perhaps..." the being replied.

The other Louis kneeled down, going closer to Louis' sad eyes. "Perhaps I'm the real you. I'm the Louis Williamson who, at the beginning of his high school year, decided that he was going to stop being a pansy ass and take control of his life. Perhaps I'm the Louis who watched Evangelion and said to himself, 'I'm not going to end up like that whiny little bitch Shinji Ikari.' What the hell happened to you, kid?! Get off the ground and stand up for what you want!"

Louis winced and grit his teeth, once again trying to get up, but he fell to the ground once more. The other Louis rolled his eyes.

"Well, I suppose that's all you can do. All you can do is lie on the ground and prove to everyone just how much they can walk all over you."

Louis mumbled something. The other Louis raised an eyebrow, curious.

"What did you just say?" the other Louis asked.

"Nothing..." Louis murmured.

"It sure didn't sound like nothing! What did you say?"

"Nothing..."

"What did you say?!"

Louis bit his lower lip and mumbled again.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

*

Louis opened his eyes in the real world and exclaimed, "I said shut the fuck up, you blood-belching vagina!"

Louis blinked, realizing he was awake again. He sat up, ignoring the pain he felt and looked up. Chreydo was launching Deol Flame attacks at the dragon, which was responding with its own fireballs. Louis clenched his teeth and leapt up. After his wings had finished spreading outwards, he flew upwards towards the dragon. Chreydo smiled as he saw Louis approach and quickly backed away, descending to the ground. Rohaq smiled as he saw Louis' ascent and turned the dragon to face him. He ordered the dragon to fire, and it immediately responded, launching another fireball at Louis.

Louis narrowed his eyes, growling lightly as his blades extended and pointed right for the fireball. Louis commanded his armor to start an electrical charge throughout its surface. When the fireball hit him, it merely dissipated around him as he continued flying. Rohaq winced and ordered the dragon to turn a hard port, and it immediately flew to the side as Louis flew upwards. Seeing the turn, Louis immediately shifted course back for the dragon, which began launching more fireballs out at Louis. Louis dodged each one nimbly, anticipating the course of each every time the dragon opened its mouth.

Rohaq bit his lip, ordering the dragon to go closer to the trees to try to evade Louis, but with little success. Louis matched them at every turn, his eyes firmly planted on the dragon and its rider. His armor was still charging with energy, especially the blades. He flapped his wings harder, building up speed and coming ever closer to the dragon. Rohaq turned the dragon upwards again, but it was too late - Louis had caught up. He rammed his blade into the nearest piece of dragon skin he could find and started sending wave after wave of electrical energy through the beast. The dragon roared in pain, releasing the fire from its system a little before finally giving out because of the pain. Rohaq let go of the reigns when the dragon started plummeting to the forest below, allowing for Louis to grab him by the robes and ensure that he not fall.

As the dragon crashed to Sin, Rohaq started panting and sweating as he stared down at the ground that was a quarter of a mile beneath him. Louis held him like that for a second before he pulled him up to speak eye to eye.

"You will order your men to surrender and retreat or I will let go!" he yelled.

Rohaq winced, looking back down at the ground. For a moment, he considered saying no to him, attempting to live up to the brave and valiant codes of conduct that a Terafell Loyalty Enforcer was supposed to live up to, and fall to an honorable death. He would gain everlasting happiness in the afterlife, and live as a martyr and testament to the great Hasz Terafell, the one who watched over his chosen people.

However, the human instinct for survival is difficult to resist.

"It shall be done." he said softly.

*

"Where in the name of the Pit were you?!" Myrrha growled.

Before her stood a single tall Dark Knight by the title of Varek the Destroyer. His hair was a dark blue, contrasting with his pale skin and red eyes. He wore a thick black armor with a dark cape equipped to the shoulders, almost as if he were attempting to boast superiority over others. He was not smiling whatsoever, and anytime he entered a room, a cold breeze seemed to accompany him and run chills up the spine.

"I was escaping and coming here, your majesty." Varek replied, his voice disrespectful and filled with contempt.

"Your forces could have been a much better turning point against the armies, but instead we had to risk it all on a single plan to enhance me with a Lokmanwo spell!" Myrrha shouted, pounding her fist on the table before her.

"Indeed. But my forces did not arrive soon enough, and your plan worked." Varek said.

"It doesn't matter! And what's wrong with you? I have not seen even a single smirk from you since you arrived! Perhaps you are not aware of the fact that the pathetic Darkness is dead!" Myrrha yelled.

Varek growled. "You will not speak ill of the Great Darkness in my presence!"

Myrrha slammed her fist against Varek's face. Varek stood his ground and greatly resisted the urge to strike back at Myrrha with greater force, knowing that someone in the oom would probably kill him for such an act. Myrrha glared straight at Varek, her dark eyes full of fury and power.

"In case you haven't noticed, Potent, the 'Great Darkness' is dead and now I am in charge. You will do as you are told, and any reference that that filthy, pathetic blob of ooze being anything other than a filthy, pathetic blob of ooze will result in severe punishment. Is that understood, Potent?"

Varek narrowed his eyes and nodded.

"Dismissed." Myrrha said.

Varek slowly nodded and turned to leave. He walked to just inside the doorway and stopped, turning slightly so that Myrrha could hear him.

"Be aware, my Queen..." He said the last part with clear disdain. "That I have spent too much time now listening to the words of foolish women who thought they knew more than the Darkness or myself. All of them met with untimely ends. Be sure to remember who it was that granted you the gift of immortality to begin with before you insult their name."

He then quickly exited, with the other Generals and guards following him out. Myrrha was left alone in the room, and she grinned, suppressing the urge to laugh. She left the conference room and quickly went to her office. She pulled a single book from her library, a tome made of leathery black bindings and black pages within. She sat at her desk, opening the book and reading the first few passages.

"Oh, my Great Darkness, you were indeed wise..." she whispered.

*

"We should retreat from these woods." Jordahn said to Louis.

"Agreed. I don't believe for a second that that guy will leave us alone." Louis replied.

*

"Are you quite sure about this, Rohaq? It will be ten years before you can ever make another request like this one."

"I am sure. I have needed of the devices, and quickly." Rohaq responded.

"Just be sure that your men are instructed on their use. We'll only be able to get one out to you as fast as you want, but the others will follow soon afterwards. Since energy weapons are so precious and rare, make sure you do not let them fall into enemy hands."
RiffingShow
The first thing that Chreydo did as he saw Louis falling to the ground was to engage a Levitation spell and fly up to him. He caught Louis in his arms and descended downwards, praising the angels in heaven silently for the fact that Louis' armor was not emitting the usual defense mechanism that it had been known to do.
The armor respects alpha males like Chreydo.
"Is he...?" she asked.
Oh, if only...
"Are your magicks effective against dragons?" she asked, looking up at the dragon that was circling the area.

"I... I don't know. Dragons are extinct in my time." Chreydo replied.
Only one way to find out...
Image

Also smooth excuse as to why there weren't any dragons last book outside of the epilogue.
Chreydo winced and looked back down at Louis, whose head was scorched and missing most of its hair.
LMAO, thanks for the reminder that Linkara is an egghead now. An ominous foreshadowing to his future.
As he ascended to face the dragon, he cursed himself for never studying any healing magicks during his training.
You'd think healing spells would be useful af. I guess he was too busy learning how to kick ass.
He looked down at himself, seeing that his gauntlet and the armor were gone. His clothes had changed, as well. Gone were the faded and worn clothes that he had carried throughout the experience on Sin. They were freshly laundered now, with their colors as brightly showing as they had been when Louis had first appeared on Sin.
Oooh, must be some subconscious/dream kinda scene.
He's gonna turn into Ash again, isn't he?
A pair of legs, clothed in blue jeans, were directly in front of him. His eyes traveled upwards and saw that the face of the person standing in front of him was his own.

"Well, you've certainly screwed up this one, haven't you?" the doppelganger said.
*Sigh*, great. This is gonna be him whining and bitching with himself about how much he sucks, isn't it? Because no one else is allowed to call him out on his bullshit? Fuck that noise.
"How the mighty have fallen, eh? I suppose you're just going to sit there and act confused?"
On the other hand, him being a smug asshole to himself is a lot more tolerable. I guess there really are no bad practices, only bad targets.
"I suppose you're going to cry now, aren't you? You pansy."
I don't think he'd do it two chapters in a row, tbh.
An area of the Darkness illuminated, and Louis' pupils shrunk as the images before him took shape. He saw Rain Vendre, her hair long and brown, flowing behind her as a red energy bubble encased her. It was from a bird's eye view, with only partial parts of her showing. Louis was seeing the memory of Rain's death.
We'll never escape Rain. Her memory is eternal.
Tears rolled down Louis' face, remembering the first person that had shown him kindness in this world.
Actually, she was one of those "You only like me 'cause I'm the messiah" people.
The other Louis looked down at Louis and groaned as if he were annoyed by Louis' behavior.
I feel you, brother.
"You still blame yourself for her death. How stupid are you, anyway?"
It kinda is. He might've made a difference if he hadn't wasted time daydreaming.
He reached out and pulled Louis up by his chin, their eyes meeting.
Anyone else getting yaoi vibes here?
"You're dying right now, Louis."
Oh, that's easy. Just find an Ultraman to fuse with.
You haven't been able to find a good enough reason to live, so you've been dying.
Do it for the catgirl.
Back before you were sent back in time, you had a reason. You were the big hero, the Ace Rimmer to these people.
That's an odd example for an alpha chad character. Isn't his main point being the polar opposite of beta bitch main universe Rimmer? You can't have just the ace without the loser.
You expected life to be fair, to hand something back to you for all of the 'pain' and 'hardship' you went through. However, the fact is that you didn't actually go through a lot of pain, did you? At best, you were conked on the head a couple of times and were beat up a little, but there was no trial, no struggle.
Hey, it's my job to point this shit out.
Indow was raped and tortured.
Oh, please. Stop acting like that was a big deal or something. Even Indow herself barely gave a toss.
White Raven was going through personal agony and misery over being a mass-murderer.
And boy did Linkara not like that at all.
Lithmenar was challenging his own being, wondering why he was turning his back on the philosophical choices he had made in life to come along with you on a suicide mission when he could be off plundering treasures and scoring.
Yeah, the entire character doesn't really make a whole lot of sense, does he?
Rain Vendre sacrificed her very life in order to keep you going.
That's one way to put it, I guess.
"You had it easy, you worthless sack of shit, so don't go crying to Chreydo because you miss your Mommy."
Word, brother. Do you see Chreydo bitch and moan about his dead brother, HMMM?!
Louis felt his voice's strength returning, but before he could rebut the doppelganger's words...
What the fuck is there to rebut? Dude has been firing nothing but truth bullets.
"And then of course, there's Jordahn. She's sacrificed her career, her way of life, and almost her faith in the Order of the New Blood to bring you back to your own time and possibly go with you, too.
She was just following orders of the angry Übermensch who'd choke her if she didn't.
He looked up at the doppelganger and mouthed the words 'Who are you?'
Image
The other Louis kneeled down, going closer to Louis' sad eyes. "Perhaps I'm the
real you."
Called it.
Perhaps I'm the Louis who watched Evangelion and said to himself, 'I'm not going to end up like that whiny little bitch Shinji Ikari.'
"Get in the armor, Louis."
"Nothing..."

"What did you say?!"

Louis bit his lower lip and mumbled again.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
"Rosebud..."

*
Louis opened his eyes in the real world and exclaimed, "I said shut the fuck up, you blood-belching vagina!"
Image
Louis blinked, realizing he was awake again.
So that was it, eh? Shadow Linkara's been transporting my criticisms through time and space, and all you can reply with the world's lamest version of "bloody cunt"? What was the point of this non-introspection, anyways?
Chreydo was launching Deol Flame attacks at the dragon, which was responding with its own fireballs.
Um, Chreydo? I'm not sure if fire will work all that well against the fire monster.
Chreydo smiled as he saw Louis approach and quickly backed away, descending to the ground. Rohaq smiled as he saw Louis' ascent and turned the dragon to face him.
I get Chreydo, but why is the bad guy happy to see his stunning return to the fray?
Louis narrowed his eyes, growling lightly as his blades extended and pointed right for the fireball. Louis commanded his armor to start an electrical charge throughout its surface. When the fireball hit him, it merely dissipated around him as he continued flying.
So he has a force field now. Okay.
Seeing the turn, Louis immediately shifted course back for the dragon, which began launching more fireballs out at Louis. Louis dodged each one nimbly, anticipating the course of each every time the dragon opened its mouth.
Ah, now he decided to not randomly fuck up and is back to being able to effortlessly dodge any enemy attack. Good.
Rohaq bit his lip, ordering the dragon to go closer to the trees to try to evade Louis, but with little success. Louis matched them at every turn, his eyes firmly planted on the dragon and its rider.
It's almost like this operation was not the best of ideas or something.
Rohaq turned the dragon upwards again, but it was too late - Louis had caught up. He rammed his blade into the nearest piece of dragon skin he could find and started sending wave after wave of electrical energy through the beast.
Oh, so now we're back to not sparing the dragon for no reason.
Rohaq let go of the reigns when the dragon started plummeting to the forest below, allowing for Louis to grab him by the robes and ensure that he not fall.
Wait, last time you did this it cooked both dragon and rider.
"You will order your men to surrender and retreat or I will let go!" he yelled.

Rohaq winced, looking back down at the ground. For a moment, he considered saying no to him, attempting to live up to the brave and valiant codes of conduct that a Terafell Loyalty Enforcer was supposed to live up to, and fall to an honorable death. He would gain everlasting happiness in the afterlife, and live as a martyr and testament to the great Hasz Terafell, the one who watched over his chosen people.

However, the human instinct for survival is difficult to resist.

"It shall be done." he said softly.
Pussy.

*
"Where in the name of the Pit were you?!" Myrrha growled.
Holy shit, there's some present day stuff hidden in this chapter after all.
Before her stood a single tall Dark Knight by the title of Varek the Destroyer. His hair was a dark blue
Oh, that guy.
Don't you all just have black hair?
He was not smiling whatsoever
Not this shit again...
"Your forces could have been a much better turning point against the armies, but instead we had to risk it all on a single plan to enhance me with a Lokmanwo spell!"
Dunno what your problem is. It went off perfectly and resulted in a fantastic kill/death ratio for your side.
"It doesn't matter! And what's wrong with you? I have not seen even a single smirk from you since you arrived! Perhaps you are not aware of the fact that the pathetic Darkness is dead!" Myrrha yelled.
Image
Varek growled. "You will not speak ill of the Great Darkness in my presence!"
Varek's taking none of her shit.
Myrrha slammed her fist against Varek's face.
Image
"In case you haven't noticed, Potent, the 'Great Darkness' is dead and now I am in charge. You will do as you are told, and any reference that that filthy, pathetic blob of ooze being anything other than a filthy, pathetic blob of ooze will result in severe punishment. Is that understood, Potent?"
She really knows how to ensure her people's loyalty.
"Be aware, my Queen..." He said the last part with clear disdain. "That I have spent too much time now listening to the words of foolish women who thought they knew more than the Darkness or myself. All of them met with untimely ends. Be sure to remember who it was that granted you the gift of immortality to begin with before you insult their name."
Man, he resepcts women about as much as Linkara.
She pulled a single book from her library, a tome made of leathery black bindings and black pages within. She sat at her desk, opening the book and reading the first few passages.

"Oh, my Great Darkness, you were indeed wise..." she whispered.
Black pages? Man, that book must be a bitch to read.
"We should retreat from these woods." Jordahn said to Louis.

"Agreed. I don't believe for a second that that guy will leave us alone." Louis replied.
Which is why you let him live?
"Are you quite sure about this, Rohaq? It will be ten years before you can ever make another request like this one."

"I am sure. I have needed of the devices, and quickly." Rohaq responded.

"Just be sure that your men are instructed on their use. We'll only be able to get one out to you as fast as you want, but the others will follow soon afterwards. Since energy weapons are so precious and rare, make sure you do not let them fall into enemy hands."
Image

Okay. So they had laser beams or something this whole time? But you can only request one every 10 years? What the...
Next Time: Hey look, Indow's back.
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by wulfenlord » Sun Feb 16, 2025 11:43 am

Are you going to make a tally of every mention of Indow getting strugglesnuggled?
Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl muh'fugen bix nood

Whenever you feel down :3
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sun Feb 16, 2025 2:29 pm

What a most magnificent idea. I might even go one step further and keep track of a "Remember when Rain got killed?" count as well.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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Re: The Angel Armor Saga by Lewis "The Lightbringer" Lovhaug

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sun Feb 16, 2025 11:20 pm

Book 2, Chapter 16 - Behind Enemy Lines II
(Or: I'M A' FIRIN' MAH LAZER!!)

So, eh, apparently the Terafellas can request beam weapons from somewhere. Pick you're poison with regards to how you think that's gonna end up looking like:

(Mind you, that was yet another cliffhanger, so there's a good chance it'll be gay and/or lame.)

By popular demand, I've also decided to keep track of how often these books keep reminding us that
  • Rain got shanked
  • Indow got struggle-snuggled
  • And you know what? Fuck it, I'm also gonna count how often the book reminds us that someone is "not smiling".
I shall count each individual instance. I may or may not have fucked up for previous reminders because I just did some quick word searching and even quicker glancing over the sentences. I ain't gonna read all that shit again.
Also keep in mind that I will count the reminders, so feel free to increase the count by one to include the dirty deed itself.

"Remember when Rain got killed?" Count: 15
"Remember when Indow got raped?" Count: 5
"Baddies Never Smile" Count: 16
RecapShow
Past
Image

Turns out Chreydo and Gyaru Casca were never in serious trouble, proving my cliffhanger theory once again. In fact, Gyaru Casca barely appeared in this chapter.

So while Linkara is knocked out from tanking a dragon's fireball with his head, he meets Shadow Linkara inside his mind. You'd think there'd be some kind of "deep", introspective discussion, but Linkara is unable to talk in this scene, so Shadow Linkara is just mercilessly roasting the fuck out of him, effectively calling him a narcissistic attention whore (which is true).
Then the scene just ends as Linkara wakes up again. Dude didn't even have a clever rebuttal planned, as he was just gonna throw one of the world's lamest insults at him.

What in the ever-loving fuck was the point of this scene? There's no resolution, and we get no real idea on Linkara's opinion on the matter, though from context it seems we are to believe that everything Shadow Linkara said was vile bullshit.
Did Linkara (the author) find a negative review on his first book and decided to include it in the form of a straw man in this book? Then why didn't he try to debunk anything of it?

Though I have a hunch we might return to Shadow Linkara eventually. Not just because this scene makes no sense without a follow-up, but also because it'd give Linkara another excuse to have a mind battle, and no Angel Armor finale is complete without a mind battle where Linkara cosplays as fucking Ash again.

Anyhow, once back to the real world he's once again OP defeats Rohaq without much issue. In fact he's even more OP than ever because now he can just turn on an electric shield to no-sell fireballs.
He also decides to let Rohaq live despite the fact he knows he'll return for more, which is weird af considering he has no issue killing nameless mooks. I guess either he loves kicking Rohaq's ass a bit too much, or he knows that named characters cannot die unless they're called "Rain" or "The Darkness".

Foiled once again, Rohaq decides to cash in 10 years worth of faction reputation points to order a beam weapon.
This might actually be one of the first intriguing mysteries of this series. Is this like a Krull-type situation where the evil demon overlord (MC Terafell himself in this case) is actually an alien warlord?
I'm also wondering why getting those hyper-advanced super weapons is such a pain in the ass. Maybe Terafell society is actually like East Germany, so you have to remember to order your Trabant beam weapon years in advance.

I also just noticed that the fabled arm-mounted flamethrower has just vanished in this chapter. If it never shows up again this book has wasted the lion's share of an entire chapter on stupid, half-assed flamethrower gear porn.

Worldbuilding tidbits:
  • Dragons have gone exctinct sometime between the past and present. Personally I suspect Linkara (the author) didn't think of including dragons until he got to the first book's epilogue
Present

We just have a short scene to properly introduce Varek the Guy Who Destroys Things Destroyer. You can tell he's a bigwig because he wears a cape and has an actual name.
But was he a big enough wig to become a Horseman? No fucking idea. What happened to those other four, anyways?

Whatever. Myrrha's angry at him because he didn't show up in time for the siege. Varek on the other hand doesn't really respect her authority. I like to think it's because Myrrha's an insufferable cunt, but apparently he's a misogynist or something - which would actually the first confirmed instance of those women's rights issues that Linkara insisted do exist in Sin last book.
He's also a conservative Dark Knight who still believes in the teachings of the Darkness. We know this because both the narration and Myrrha keep reminding us how much he's not smiling all the time - because that wasn't annoying at all last book.
ChapterShow
Indow slowly opened her eyes, her head feeling heavy and a sharp pain coming from her forehead. She was lying on her side, but she did not move very much, save to bring a hand to forehead to feel if it was bruised. She sighed as she brought her hand back, seeing that there was blood on her fingers. She rolled over onto her back carefully, not wanting to lie on any rocks. She looked up at the ceiling above her, but sighed when she realized no light was coming to her. She put one hand on her forehead to try to heal it while her other hand extended outwards.

"LIGHT!" she shouted.

A single orb of light appeared in her hands, illuminating the area. Lithmenar was sitting against a wall, fully conscious. He squinted from the light, putting a hand in front of his eyes to block the rays and let his eyes adjust. Indow looked at the other parts of the area, which consisted of stone walls, a stone ceiling with quite a few cracks and rubble buried with it, and a disturbing smell. She ignored the smell and turned to Lithmenar.

"How long have we been down here?" she asked.

Lithmenar shrugged. "I've been awake for about an hour or two."

"Why did you not seek help?" she inquired.

"Have you looked around? There's barely enough light from your spell to see each other. I would certainly get lost in the darkness." Lithmenar replied. Indow turned away as she tried to think of what was the last thing she remembered.

"Myrrha was attacking us... I saw my father get taken by the Dark Knights... Then there was an explosion..." she said, biting her lower lip.

"I figure we're in the old sewer system that Soyah used before the Darkness took it. It's just sat here for 300 years with no one to do maintenance or open it up..." Lithmenar speculated.

"There must be a way out. Otherwise, where would this air be coming from? Come on, let's go and try to find-"

"Hold on a minute!" Lithmenar interrupted, standing up. "Could you just take a break, Priestess?"

"What do you mean?"

"In the past week we have broken into a city and jail, been captured, escaped, recaptured, send some of our friends on a mission to rescue the kid from the past, then you're recaptured, we escape again but only to be trapped in some sewers! There is a word for this, Priestess: Insanity! So, if you don't mind, I'd like for us to just stop and relax for a moment before we once again thrust ourselves into the path of danger!" Lithmenar shouted.

Indow blinked, staring at him for a moment. "O...kay."

Lithmenar sighed and sat back down, rubbing his eyes. Indow shrugged and sat down at the opposite wall, letting the ball of light sit between them as they caught their breath. Indow merely rubbed her hands together a little for some heat, waiting for Lithmenar to try to strike up some kind of conversation. When he didn't, she decided to take the initiative.

"So what exactly is the point of being a thief?" she asked.

Lithmenar brought his hand down from his face. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Indow began, "you spend all of your life stealing and stealing, never deviating from it. You never save any of the money you gain, you just immediately spend it on tools for better stealing, food, and shelter. What's the point?"

Lithmenar grinned. "It's a matter of freedom."

"From what?"

"The monarchy. The ones who impose laws on us to keep us in check so that we don't rebel and take over ourselves. Each society, with the possible exception of the Sand Warriors of Kien, exists in the kind of monarchy where the rich rule and the poor suffer. Thievery is about taking what we can't get legally, which is money, property, and freedom to do as we wish, and enjoying the freedom that comes from it. The monarchs say they rule because they were chosen by 'divine right.' I do not see any angels descending from heaven and anointing them, do you?"

"We certainly have a larger role than we did during the Dark Times."

"Sometimes I wonder if we've escaped the Dark Times at all."

"The Kings now know that if they ever attempt to push us too far, we shall rebel and conquer. Familial bloodlines are thinning and the monarchy's power is declining steadily. Democratic governments will take hold and the people will have total control." Indow rebuked.

"No, if anything, they're getting stronger. The incident in Walsz was a perfect example - it's the religious who hold all the cards as opposed to those of us who decide to think for ourselves." Lithmenar stated.

On and on they went...

*

"Well, if it isn't my old friend Dickless the Impotent!"

"My name is Rohaq, boy. You'd best learn to remember it."

For another week, the group traveled along towards Jilad, where they hoped to create the perfect calculations necessary in which to bring themselves back to their own time. They stayed the night at another abandoned castle. Jordahn explained that the land used to be owned and managed by lords whose primary purpose was to keep the peasants in line and to generally be the people that they were. However, when the Arbiters took over, the system was abandoned in favor of a central control from the capitol of lands.

The abandoned castle was next to a lake, and they thought it would be another nice place where relaxation could be achieved.

They were wrong yet again. Rohaq's forces came as soon as they exited the castle, and the two groups stood in a standoff fashion, both standing in lines and ready to fight one another. Louis, however, merely yawned, seeing that they hadn't brought any archers or dragons with them this time. He was treating the situation like a big joke, not even thinking of it as a challenge anymore after he got his 'pep talk' when he was unconscious.

"Is this supposed to be frightening? Frankly, I'm not impressed, Rohaq. In case you haven't noticed, I seem to have a very high record of kicking your ass." Louis stated.

"Be silent, Lister of Smeg. You have been a plague on me for long enough, and perhaps it is finally time you learned respect!" Rohaq growled, pointing at Louis.

"I'm really scared! I'm being threatened by a midget dressed in a dirty washcloth! What are you going to do, flog me with your witty repartee?" Louis asked, rolling his eyes.

Rohaq smiled behind his helmet. He had gone over this encounter a dozen times in his mind, thinking of how many ways he could slaughter Louis. His favorite was the fourth scenario, where he had shot the weapon into his chest to knock him unconscious, then slicing off each of his limbs one by one until he finally died either from lack of blood or decapitation. He reached behind his robe and pulled out the weapon, which was wrapped in leather. He was feeling disappointed since the rest of this group would not receive their weapon for a few more days, since the items were difficult enough to procure. However, if the weapon worked the way that he hoped it would, the other weapons would not be necessary at all, anyway.

He unwrapped the weapon, which the Arbiters were now referring to as the 'p'Lotet eol Yuree,' or 'Lightning from Man.' When Louis saw the device, his smile faded. Rohaq wondered for a moment if Louis realized what it was, but he came to the conclusion quickly that he didn't care. If Louis knew what the device was, then he was in awe and fear of it. If he didn't know what it was, then he would be quickly finding out its abilities. Rohaq brought the silver object upwards and aimed it at one of the Unit soldiers. He pushed a button on the side of the weapon, and a single purple beam of light shot out of the weapon and collided with the soldier. He screamed in horror as his body quickly disintegrated in a haze of purple color, disappearing into the air.

The other Unit soldiers gasped and took a step back from this sudden display of force. Louis stood his ground, but he was visibly cringing at the thought of what the weapon could do to them. Rohaq aimed the weapon at Louis and grinned, deciding that although he could kill him, he would give Louis the opportunity to surrender. He kept the weapon aimed squarely at Louis' chest, and spoke:

"Lister of Smeg, I give you now the option of surrender! If you surrender, both you and your Unit shall live as prisoners of war in the mighty realm of the Terafell Arbiters!" Rohaq yelled.

ouis looked over to Chreydo, who simply looked back at him. His glance switched to Jordahn, who narrowed her eyes and shook her head, her grip tightening on her axe. Louis put his arms behind his back and held his chin up.

"Rohaq..." he said.

"Yes?" Rohaq asked, getting ready to relax his hold on the weapon.

Louis brought his hand back up and stuck his middle finger up at Rohaq. "Suck my balls."

Rohaq immediately saw it as an insult, despite not understanding what Louis was saying or doing. He fired the weapon at Louis, who winced as the beam collided into his chest. He thought that, in this instant, his life would end, and that he's be overcome with pain and horror as a burning sensation swept his body and consumed it, making him disappear into nothingness. He closed his eyes, wanting the event to occur and get it over with.

However, it didn't happen. He opened his eyes and looked down at his chest, where the beam was still hitting. However, the energy burst was merely on his armor and disrupting the color a bit. He smiled a little, realizing that the armor was absorbing the energy burst. Louis grinned, suddenly feeling an overpowering urge to raise up his right arm and aim it at one of the Arbiters. When he did so, the purple beam seemed to flow up his armor, through his arm, and get shot out the end right at the Arbiter that Louis had aimed at. The Arbiter vaporized in the same style as the Unit soldier, and Rohaq immediately stopped firing after that.

Louis looked back at the others and blinked. He shrugged and immediately began running back to the castle.

"Back to the castle! Retreat!" he commanded.

The other soldiers immediately followed suit, not wanting to face the weapon when they didn't know anything about it. They re-etentered the castle and closed the doors, although they held no illusion that it would provide them any real protection from the weapon. Rohaq, in the meantime, was still standing in shock from the fact that the weapon hadn't affected Louis in any physical manner. He lowered the weapon, and Optiloq came up behind him.

"Your orders, sir?" he asked.

Rohaq regained his composure and stood tall. "Wait for the other weapons and reinforcements. It seems this may be more complicated than we thought..."

*

Garik sat in a different cell than the one he had been normally placed in. Myrrha had very clearly described to him the fact that his earlier cell was obviously suffering with some flaws from the various escape attempts that he and the others had put it through, so he was to sit in the new cell until they refurbished the old one. He balked, realizing quickly that the real reason he wasn't in the same cell was that the cell had been filled with rubble and ground as a result of the attack on Soyah, so no one could get into it.

He rested his head back and closed his eyes, sighing. He had resisted every urge in his body to rip Myrrha apart at any time they saw her. When he had first heard of the fact that Indow had been kidnapped and raped by a Dark Knight, he had sped quickly to the city of Cooc to be with her. He also bore the tidings of attacks on several Kings from the five lands, but his daughter had been his primary concern. He clenched his fists together, knowing that one day, it wouldn't be the Linkara or Indow or anyone else that Myrrha had wronged that would be the one to kill her, but Garik himself.

When Garik reopened his eyes, he realized he was not alone in the room. He couldn't see anyone, but he knew that a presence existed in the cell that had not been there before. He narrowed his eyes, squinting to see if he could make anyone out. When that failed, he decided to see if he could communicate with whatever it was.

"Who are you? Show yourself!" he called out.

"Stay calm. I am still having difficulty with taking visible form." a woman's voice replied.

Garik raised an eyebrow, confused. His confusion increased when a twenty year-old woman suddenly materialized in front of him. She was sitting on her knees, with red armor covering most of her body. She had long, blonde hair with a red helmet sitting atop her head with small horns protruding from it. She didn't appear to be very tall, but her features were fair and beautiful, and Garik was charmed by her beauty for a moment before he spoke with her again.

"How did you do that?" he asked.

"I'm not sure entirely... It's a matter of focus." she responded, her voice having a natural echo to it.

Garik tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Who... What are you?"

"My name is Thesia, Priest. I am a ghost, a spirit." the woman, now identified as Thesia, replied.

Garik's eyes widened, curious now. He and most everyone on Sin knew that ghosts and spirits existed, but they were rarely ever encountered or seen. To become one was considered almost an honor, although for the ghosts it wasn't so. To become one meant that there was something not completed in life that they needed to do, and even if they accomplished it, there was no guarantee of what would happen to them after the said task is completed. Some were known to become corporeal again, while others simply remained ghosts, doomed to wander the earth for all eternity and never being able to touch things again. Others simply disappeared and were never seen again.

However, there was one other way to become a ghost: be killed in life by another ghost.

"I see you are familiar with my condition."

"It's not a condition, exactly, Thesia."

"You're right. It's a curse, not a condition." she sneered, standing up and facing away from him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. I heard of the situation here and thought that I might be able to help in some way." she said.

How? No offense, but your current situation doesn't exactly allow for much battle. I thought ghosts were unable to physically touch anything." Garik stated.

Thesia smiled. She winked at Garik and leaned down towards him slowly. He merely stared at her as she approached, not expecting anything to happen. Much to his surprise, however, Thesia placed her hand on Garik's shoulder and leaned in close enough to plant a kiss on his cheek. She pulled back, her hand suddenly slipping through him as if she were made of air. She stood back up and grinned.

"Ghosts do have SOME physical abilities... However, by help, I mean that I could consult and advise. I... have had some dealings with Dark Knights. Oh... I have to go now... I can sense myself being pulled away again... I'll return when I can!"

*

"Perhaps if we had traveled to the right like I had asked-"

"We are not lost! We simply don't know where we are!"

"That's what lost means, you simple-minded Priestess!"

Indow rolled her eyes and groaned from Lithmenar's whining. For the better part of an hour, Lithmenar had been complaining to Indow that she didn't know where she was going, and as such, they would have little change in their predicament. They would need food and water soon, and unless they escaped from the tunnel, it was very likely that Garik would be executed in the Genesis Ceremony for the Eclipsed Legion.

"We're never going to get out of these sewers, are we?" Lithmenar asked.

"Of course we are, you whimpering thief! If necessary, I shall use my magicks to blast a hole straight from these sewers into Soyah." Indow replied.

"Well, then we shall die of a cave-in, then! I suppose-"

An echoed sound reverberated throughout the sewer. It was that of a low growl that was growing louder by the second. The two looked behind them, but they saw nothing. They then looked to each other and came to the same conclusion: something else was alive down in the sewers.
RiffingShow
Indow slowly opened her eyes, her head feeling heavy and a sharp pain coming from her forehead.
Indow's fine. What a twist.
Indow looked at the other parts of the area, which consisted of stone walls, a stone ceiling with quite a few cracks and rubble buried with it, and a disturbing smell. She ignored the smell and turned to Lithmenar.
I assume that smell comes from the legion of dead cows that got yeeted into the city.
"How long have we been down here?" she asked.

Lithmenar shrugged. "I've been awake for about an hour or two."
And you never tried to fondle her? And you call yourself a thief...
"Why did you not seek help?" she inquired.

"Have you looked around? There's barely enough light from your spell to see each other. I would certainly get lost in the darkness." Lithmenar replied. Indow turned away as she tried to think of what was the last thing she remembered.
Helpless in the dark? And you call yourself a thief...
"Myrrha was attacking us... I saw my father get taken by the Dark Knights... Then there was an explosion..." she said, biting her lower lip.
We didn't actually see that happen, though thanks for the retcon clarification I guess.
"I figure we're in the old sewer system that Soyah used before the Darkness took it. It's just sat here for 300 years with no one to do maintenance or open it up..." Lithmenar speculated.
It should be pretty clear if this was a sewer, but from the previous description of this place it sounds more like a basement or something. Shouldn't the ceiling have an arch? Where'd the sewage go?
"Hold on a minute!" Lithmenar interrupted, standing up. "Could you just take a break, Priestess?"

"What do you mean?"

"In the past week we have broken into a city and jail, been captured, escaped, recaptured, send some of our friends on a mission to rescue the kid from the past, then you're recaptured, we escape again but only to be trapped in some sewers! There is a word for this, Priestess: Insanity! So, if you don't mind, I'd like for us to just stop and relax for a moment before we once again thrust ourselves into the path of danger!" Lithmenar shouted.
I guess sitting in total darkness for at least an hour was still too much sensory overload for this guy. What a loser.
Though thanks for pointing out how ridiculous this all is.
Indow blinked, staring at him for a moment. "O...kay."
Even she thinks you're a dork.
Indow merely rubbed her hands together a little for some heat
Can't you just cast a spell for that?
"So what exactly is the point of being a thief?" she asked.
Oh shit, her Nazi-like hatred for poor, innocent criminals has returned.
"Well," Indow began, "you spend all of your life stealing and stealing, never deviating from it. You never save any of the money you gain, you just immediately spend it on tools for better stealing, food, and shelter. What's the point?"
"If the only reason for the money is the stealing, and the only reason for the stealing is the money, they cancel each other out!"

(Anyone else remember that movie?)
Lithmenar grinned. "It's a matter of freedom."

"From what?"

"The monarchy. The ones who impose laws on us to keep us in check so that we don't rebel and take over ourselves. Each society, with the possible exception of the Sand Warriors of Kien, exists in the kind of monarchy where the rich rule and the poor suffer. Thievery is about taking what we can't get legally, which is money, property, and freedom to do as we wish, and enjoying the freedom that comes from it. The monarchs say they rule because they were chosen by 'divine right.' I do not see any angels descending from heaven and anointing them, do you?"
Great, Lithmar's with Antifa.
Does Kien no longer have a king in the present or something? And what 'divine right'? The king of Ai is famously agnostic.
"We certainly have a larger role than we did during the Dark Times."

"Sometimes I wonder if we've escaped the Dark Times at all."
Are we ever gonna find out WTF happened during those Dark Times (tm)
"The Kings now know that if they ever attempt to push us too far, we shall rebel and conquer. Familial bloodlines are thinning and the monarchy's power is declining steadily. Democratic governments will take hold and the people will have total control." Indow rebuked.
Viva la revolución!
"No, if anything, they're getting stronger. The incident in Walsz was a perfect example - it's the religious who hold all the cards as opposed to those of us who decide to think for ourselves." Lithmenar stated.
Oh yeah, that weird thing were the church just takes over the kingdom when the agnostic king dies.
Funny how you have to remind the catgirl priestess of one of the world's largest religion about the power that her church possesses.
On and on they went...
Since Linkara is not part of this discussion to deliver the one true-and-honest opinion, we'll just skip the rest.

*
"Well, if it isn't my old friend Dickless the Impotent!"
Ah, I see the encounter with Shadow Linkara is all but forgotten. Never change, Linkara. Never change.
For another week, the group traveled along towards Jilad, where they hoped to create the perfect calculations necessary in which to bring themselves back to their own time.
Is sand and heat integral to this process?
They stayed the night at another abandoned castle.
How many abandoned castles are there? You know they're generally build at strategically important locations, right?
Jordahn explained that the land used to be owned and managed by lords whose primary purpose was to keep the peasants in line and to generally be the people that they were.
How dare they are the people that they are!
However, when the Arbiters took over, the system was abandoned in favor of a central control from the capitol of lands.
But... you still need people here to manage and oversee shit. Even Ancient China, which abolished their flavor of feudalism pretty quickly, replaced it with a system of local governors and their staff.
The abandoned castle was next to a lake, and they thought it would be another nice place where relaxation could be achieved.
Spoiler alert: No relaxation was to be achieved.
They were wrong yet again. Rohaq's forces came as soon as they exited the castle, and the two groups stood in a standoff fashion, both standing in lines and ready to fight one another. Louis, however, merely yawned, seeing that they hadn't brought any archers or dragons with them this time.
How big an issue would archer even be, if your armor can automatically shield any body part of yours that might get hit?
He was treating the situation like a big joke...
Business as usual, I see.
... not even thinking of it as a challenge anymore after he got his 'pep talk' when he was unconscious.
So that scene was entire pointless. Good to know.
"I'm really scared! I'm being threatened by a midget dressed in a dirty washcloth! What are you going to do, flog me with your witty repartee?" Louis asked, rolling his eyes.
What do you have against little people? Not cool, man.
Rohaq smiled behind his helmet. He had gone over this encounter a dozen times in his mind, thinking of how many ways he could slaughter Louis.
Naturally, he will probably be surprised by the actual outcome.
He unwrapped the weapon, which the Arbiters were now referring to as the 'p'Lotet eol Yuree,' or 'Lightning from Man.' When Louis saw the device, his smile faded.
Image

Also your French is terrible.
If Louis knew what the device was, then he was in awe and fear of it. If he didn't know what it was, then he would be quickly finding out its abilities. Rohaq brought the silver object upwards and aimed it at one of the Unit soldiers. He pushed a button on the side of the weapon, and a single purple beam of light shot out of the weapon and collided with the soldier. He screamed in horror as his body quickly disintegrated in a haze of purple color, disappearing into the air.
Why aren't you shooting at Linkara first?!
Rohaq aimed the weapon at Louis and grinned, deciding that although he could kill him, he would give Louis the opportunity to surrender.
Why? You just fantasized about cutting off his limbs.
"Lister of Smeg, I give you now the option of surrender! If you surrender, both you and your Unit shall live as prisoners of war in the mighty realm of the Terafell Arbiters!" Rohaq yelled.
Dude, you can't disarm the guy. And he can just brutalize any guards whenever he feels like it. Just kill the fucker.
"Rohaq..." he said.

"Yes?" Rohaq asked, getting ready to relax his hold on the weapon.

Louis brought his hand back up and stuck his middle finger up at Rohaq. "Suck my balls."
"Eat my shorts" would've been mildly amusing.
Rohaq immediately saw it as an insult, despite not understanding what Louis was saying or doing.
Why are you Sinnians so clueless when it comes to the groin?
He fired the weapon at Louis, who winced as the beam collided into his chest. He thought that, in this instant, his life would end, and that he's be overcome with pain and horror as a burning sensation swept his body and consumed it, making him disappear into nothingness. He closed his eyes, wanting the event to occur and get it over with.
Linkara just gives up and accepts death. Haven't seen that since that one fight in Book 1.
I thought he could dodge attacks like he has a fucking Spider Sense.
However, it didn't happen. He opened his eyes and looked down at his chest, where the beam was still hitting. However, the energy burst was merely on his armor and disrupting the color a bit.
Image

Of course he's immune to the beam. Don't want to bother the reader with actual tension.
Louis grinned, suddenly feeling an overpowering urge to raise up his right arm and aim it at one of the Arbiters. When he did so, the purple beam seemed to flow up his armor, through his arm, and get shot out the end right at the Arbiter that Louis had aimed at.
That's awfully convenient. Also note that he once again mercilessly slaughters a nameless goon instead of the guy responsible for this commotion in the first place.
Louis looked back at the others and blinked. He shrugged and immediately began running back to the castle.

"Back to the castle! Retreat!" he commanded.
Why? Just kick their asses.
They re-etentered the castle and closed the doors, although they held no illusion that it would provide them any real protection from the weapon.
This castle better have other exits, you morons.
"Your orders, sir?" he asked.

Rohaq regained his composure and stood tall. "Wait for the other weapons and reinforcements. It seems this may be more complicated than we thought..."
Sure. Maybe you can overload Linkara's armor, right?!

*
Garik sat in a different cell than the one he had been normally placed in. Myrrha had very clearly described to him the fact that his earlier cell was obviously suffering with some flaws from the various escape attempts that he and the others had put it through, so he was to sit in the new cell until they refurbished the old one.
The old cell is not up to official Dark Knight dungeon standards.
He balked, realizing quickly that the real reason he wasn't in the same cell was that the cell had been filled with rubble and ground as a result of the attack on Soyah, so no one could get into it.
This was certainly a paragraph that needed to exist.
He rested his head back and closed his eyes, sighing. He had resisted every urge in his body to rip Myrrha apart at any time they saw her.
"It's not quite as fun when it's not my daughter, anyways."
When he had first heard of the fact that Indow had been kidnapped and raped by a Dark Knight, he had sped quickly to the city of Cooc to be with her.
The Indow Counter has increased (5 -> 6)
He clenched his fists together, knowing that one day, it wouldn't be the Linkara or Indow or anyone else that Myrrha had wronged that would be the one to kill her, but Garik himself.
Cute. He thinks someone other than Linkara might defeat a main villain.
When Garik reopened his eyes, he realized he was not alone in the room. He couldn't see anyone, but he knew that a presence existed in the cell that had not been there before. He narrowed his eyes, squinting to see if he could make anyone out.
I think you're just going crazy.
"Who are you? Show yourself!" he called out.

"Stay calm. I am still having difficulty with taking visible form." a woman's voice replied.

Garik raised an eyebrow, confused. His confusion increased when a twenty year-old woman suddenly materialized in front of him. She was sitting on her knees, with red armor covering most of her body. She had long, blonde hair with a red helmet sitting atop her head with small horns protruding from it. She didn't appear to be very tall, but her features were fair and beautiful, and Garik was charmed by her beauty for a moment before he spoke with her again.
So there's now a lady who almost looks like a Terafella, except they didn't have horns on their helmets.
Garik tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Who... What are you?"

"My name is Thesia, Priest. I am a ghost, a spirit." the woman, now identified as Thesia, replied.
Correction. There's now a ghost lady.
To become one was considered almost an honor, although for the ghosts it wasn't so.
Oh, why would they think that?
To become one meant that there was something not completed in life that they needed to do, and even if they accomplished it, there was no guarantee of what would happen to them after the said task is completed. Some were known to become corporeal again, while others simply remained ghosts, doomed to wander the earth for all eternity and never being able to touch things again. Others simply disappeared and were never seen again.
Such honor. Much wow.
However, there was one other way to become a ghost: be killed in life by another ghost.
Oh, so they're like Spectres and Wraiths in D&D.

(Autistic D&D Thought Experiment Time: Going purely by rules-as-written, Spectres, Wraiths and other ghost-type monsters who create more of their kind can easily kickstart a ghost apocalypse. It's like a Grey Goo scenario, but with ghosts.)
"I see you are familiar with my condition."

"It's not a condition, exactly, Thesia."
Being a ghost is really a state of mind.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. I heard of the situation here and thought that I might be able to help in some way." she said.
What are you? A capeshit ghost?
Usually ghosts are bound to the place were they're died, or a place of great importance to them in life. If they can actually travel it's because of whatever task they couldn't fulfill in life.
Mrs. Crimson Ghost Knight? She's just wandering around aimlessly.
How? No offense, but your current situation doesn't exactly allow for much battle. I thought ghosts were unable to physically touch anything." Garik stated.
Nigga you just said that ghosts are capable of killing people.
Thesia smiled. She winked at Garik and leaned down towards him slowly. He merely stared at her as she approached, not expecting anything to happen. Much to his surprise, however, Thesia placed her hand on Garik's shoulder and leaned in close enough to plant a kiss on his cheek.
Does this count as softcore necrophilia?

*
Indow rolled her eyes and groaned from Lithmenar's whining.
Word, sister.
For the better part of an hour, Lithmenar had been complaining to Indow that she didn't know where she was going, and as such, they would have little change in their predicament.
I thought you guys are moderately smart. Just always turn either left or right.
They would need food and water soon, and unless they escaped from the tunnel, it was very likely that Garik would be executed in the Genesis Ceremony for the Eclipsed Legion.
I hope they'll perform Land of Confusion.

"We're never going to get out of these sewers, are we?" Lithmenar asked.
Why do you bitch at the Wizard with this nonsense? You're the party Rogue. This is your métier.
"Of course we are, you whimpering thief! If necessary, I shall use my magicks to blast a hole straight from these sewers into Soyah." Indow replied.
Just cast Locate Creature to find Garik or something.
An echoed sound reverberated throughout the sewer. It was that of a low growl that was growing louder by the second. The two looked behind them, but they saw nothing. They then looked to each other and came to the same conclusion: something else was alive down in the sewers.
Knowing these cliffhangers, it's probably a puppy.
Next Time: Fuck if I know. I just read the next chapter's title and feel like punching something already.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

4 wikia: static -> vignette

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