Kassandra Killjoy: Paranormal Private-Eye "The Search for the Swordsman" - A short story cosplaying as a novel by peeRod
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Re: Kassandra Killjoy: Paranormal Private-Eye "The Search for the Swordsman" - A short story cosplaying as a novel by pe
The real question is, did you expect anything else from Retarded Ricardo's even more retarded clone?
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Re: Kassandra Killjoy: Paranormal Private-Eye "The Search for the Swordsman" - A short story cosplaying as a novel by pe
Brad's book was lame, predictable, derivative and occasionally stupid.
Nostalgia Cunt's was lame, predictable, derivative, occasionally stupid, pretentious, and contained sentences like "the marsh part of the marsh".
This trash is already so infuriatingly bad that it makes me wish i could beat the published author senseless - and by that i mean that i wish to give him a mild slap.
>Breeding ground of all that is evil
Lupa's vagina.
Nostalgia Cunt's was lame, predictable, derivative, occasionally stupid, pretentious, and contained sentences like "the marsh part of the marsh".
This trash is already so infuriatingly bad that it makes me wish i could beat the published author senseless - and by that i mean that i wish to give him a mild slap.
Not enough.
>Cold wind
>Breeding ground of all that is evil
Lupa's vagina.
We'll see if her body is covered with shitty tattoos magic runes to hide the scars caused by fat removal surgeries the evil patriarchy, and if she's affected by knowing how fat and ugly she is BDD an evil curse that forces her to constantly hide her ugly, dumb mug beautiful, proud visage behind her iPhone magical pocket book.
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Re: Kassandra Killjoy: Paranormal Private-Eye "The Search for the Swordsman" - A short story cosplaying as a novel by pe
Not enough existential mental breakdowns to be PUR.
I'm totally gonna steal the idea of the wind shanking people like some supernatural Jack the Ripper.
Is this supposed to be some stab at climate change deniers?
It's like if some Gotham crook runs away after seeing the Bat Sign, only to then make fun of Batman's costume when he's landing in front of him.
Or his her getup supposed to be funny to them? How do people usually dress in this, anyways? We have no frame of reference.
Either ERod uses slightly tweaked names from Naruto for his spells, or his main protagonist just cast Maximum Doge.
Also nice to see that the terrifying, super-sized werewolves are defeated by wood. What are they, Golden Age Green Lantern?
Also just how much space is there if the werewolf can stay several seconds in mid-air? Is this using the D&D combat system where every round takes 6 seconds?
>realize enemy uses silver
>attack anyways
>mfw enemy still has more silver
This gonna be painful.
The total irony of his one cool idea being a typo.
I'm totally gonna steal the idea of the wind shanking people like some supernatural Jack the Ripper.
"Oh, this soul-shattering, year-round cold is totally not man-made! Nothing to worry about."They dismiss all evidence that the chill is not organic in nature
Is this supposed to be some stab at climate change deniers?
Thanks for the clarification. I was beginning to wonder which of the many packs of men introduced so far he's the leader of.The man is known as Kanis Veil, the undisputed leader of the pack of men who are running after the cat.
Oh shit, the racist bitch said the P-word!The men exchange amused and confused glances and mutter, "Puppies?"
I think this is supposed to be what tvtropes calls the "Three-Point Landing", the most "badass" way to land from a jump.With this, Killjoy positions herself at the edge of the building and with one quick movement,she leaps forward in the air and lands perfectly balanced in a kneeling position on the concrete ground, under the bright light of a street lamp.
Just how (in)famous is she? Merely seeing her name written on a sign causes them to shit their pants, but seeing her in the flesh causes them to revert to "Oh this silly little girl" mode.Now that she is no longer silhouetted, Veil's henchmen get a good look at her for the first time. They snicker and smirk with delight at her appearance.
It's like if some Gotham crook runs away after seeing the Bat Sign, only to then make fun of Batman's costume when he's landing in front of him.
Or his her getup supposed to be funny to them? How do people usually dress in this, anyways? We have no frame of reference.
This might just be a a normal phrasing in Great Britain, but for everyone else this sounds like the beginning of a very kinky sex scene."Now, are you boys gonna scat?"
Dropping a purse full of coins causes the coins to make a sound when they hit the ground. Imagine my shock.Killjoy pulls out an antique change purse from the pocket of her vest. She dramatically drops the purse on the ground. The change purse hits the concrete floor with so much force that coins can be heard rolling inside it and the sound sends a cautionary echo throughout the alley.
>madara: Irish; Alternative form of madra (“dog”)"Madara Maxima!"
Either ERod uses slightly tweaked names from Naruto for his spells, or his main protagonist just cast Maximum Doge.
Also nice to see that the terrifying, super-sized werewolves are defeated by wood. What are they, Golden Age Green Lantern?
Good think we have precise time measurements here.Killjoy, satisfied with her work, displays a smile but only for a second. The third werewolf is in mid-flight and seconds away from pouncing on her.
Also just how much space is there if the werewolf can stay several seconds in mid-air? Is this using the D&D combat system where every round takes 6 seconds?
Without a strong verb like "burst" that first sentence reads a bit weird. Do werewolves just happen to have a hole in their stomach?Veil and the black and white cat watch in shock as the werewolf is forcefully morphed back into his human form and green flames shoot out of his stomach. Soon the green fire consumes his body leaving nothing but ash.
>be werewolf"Just in case you were wondering, that chain is also made of out of silver."
>realize enemy uses silver
>attack anyways
>mfw enemy still has more silver
What was even the initial motivation of messing with the cat in the first place, beside being a lame excuse for a fight scene? Do these werewolf gangster have nothing better to do than chase random cats?"Now, Veil-take your last two pups and go back to your turf and stay there. I officially pronounce this black and white cat as my familiar. So, if I ever catch you messing with it again, I'1l put ten silver coins inside you. And when I do, I promise I will use the rear exit... If you know what I mean."
Don't explain the joke.Veil's eyes widen as he knows exactly what she means.
So he dents only the side? Even though his werewolf form has been described as being twice as tall as his goons', which in turn are five times as tall as their already large selves? Does Erod have no sense of scale? Dude must be the size of a fucking Zaku.Veil flies out of the alley, and slams into a parked car which heavily dents the entire side of the vehicle.
Thanks, I was wondering just how she managed to magically knock someone back. It was magic after all!Killjoy is standing in the entrance of the alleyway, holding her broom like a shot gun. "Bang," she says with a satisfied jerk of her head.
>catspeak"Hey Lady, you gots any tuna oveh deh?"
This gonna be painful.
Then why do you own a comic book store? Which of your two jobs is the side gig?"Kassandra Killjoy, Paranormal Private-Eye at your service.”
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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Re: Kassandra Killjoy: Paranormal Private-Eye "The Search for the Swordsman" - A short story cosplaying as a novel by pe
Does he know that "organic" and "natural" aren't synonyms?VoiceOfReasonPast wrote: ↑Tue Feb 13, 2024 6:55 am"Oh, this soul-shattering, year-round cold is totally not man-made! Nothing to worry about."They dismiss all evidence that the chill is not organic in nature
Is this supposed to be some stab at climate change deniers?
Does he know what "organic" means?
Does he know what an organ is?
Does he know that his head is filled with organic compost?
Sounds like Ebonics, and i bet the retard did it on purpose.VoiceOfReasonPast wrote: ↑Tue Feb 13, 2024 6:55 am>catspeak"Hey Lady, you gots any tuna oveh deh?"
This gonna be painful.
As a homage.
Erods' true passion starts to show.
But how will his audience understand it if he doesn't?VoiceOfReasonPast wrote: ↑Tue Feb 13, 2024 6:55 amDon't explain the joke.Veil's eyes widen as he knows exactly what she means.
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Re: Kassandra Killjoy: Paranormal Private-Eye "The Search for the Swordsman" - A short story cosplaying as a novel by pe
More concept art time! You can thank me later.
For the most part it's various pieces of lame concept art for the protagonist, as well as a sketch version of the cover.
Two items are more noteworthy, though:
Teh Kitteh (aka the stupid cat)
>Hime's fandom is on the rise
*presses X*
>So here are some Hime attitudes for all you faithful members of Hime's Herd
Is this supposed to be a play on Angry Joe's Angry Army (tm), or whatever the fuck you call your fans? Busterinos?
Also a congregation of cats is known as a clowder, you simpleton.
La Bruja (aka Harry Potter meets Carmen Sandiego)
>halfbreed (half human half witch)
How does that work, exactly? Was her dad a muggle (in which case fuck you bigot; witch rights are human rights)? Or was her mother a D&D hag (aka a fugly fey creature that looks like the Wicked Witch of the West)? If witches are their own species how are pure-bred witches created? Lesbian futa sex?
>she is of Spanish descent
So I take it she's ginger because of her alien witch DNA?
>born and raised in Barcelona, Spain
Thank God for the glarification. For a moment I though you meant Barcelona, Arkansas.
>name is ACTUAL LEE pronounced Kil-Hoy, but Killjoy sounds cooler
Oh fuck off, beaner (pronounced Be-Ann-Ur).
For the most part it's various pieces of lame concept art for the protagonist, as well as a sketch version of the cover.
Two items are more noteworthy, though:
Teh Kitteh (aka the stupid cat)
>Hime's fandom is on the rise
*presses X*
>So here are some Hime attitudes for all you faithful members of Hime's Herd
Is this supposed to be a play on Angry Joe's Angry Army (tm), or whatever the fuck you call your fans? Busterinos?
Also a congregation of cats is known as a clowder, you simpleton.
La Bruja (aka Harry Potter meets Carmen Sandiego)
>halfbreed (half human half witch)
How does that work, exactly? Was her dad a muggle (in which case fuck you bigot; witch rights are human rights)? Or was her mother a D&D hag (aka a fugly fey creature that looks like the Wicked Witch of the West)? If witches are their own species how are pure-bred witches created? Lesbian futa sex?
>she is of Spanish descent
So I take it she's ginger because of her alien witch DNA?
>born and raised in Barcelona, Spain
Thank God for the glarification. For a moment I though you meant Barcelona, Arkansas.
>name is ACTUAL LEE pronounced Kil-Hoy, but Killjoy sounds cooler
Oh fuck off, beaner (pronounced Be-Ann-Ur).
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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Re: Kassandra Killjoy: Paranormal Private-Eye "The Search for the Swordsman" - A short story cosplaying as a novel by pe
Utsukushi. It's like he heard about l'artistic things like similes and metaphors, but his retarded brain is too stupid to grasp the concept. I reckon him the prime example for misusing the word literally, too.The wind of Obscure City can cut most people with a knife
I second the notion that this is him trying to take a piss on climate hoax deniersThey dismiss all evidence that the chill is not organic in nature
Already a self-insert in the first paragraphand kneel behind a dumpster in a dark, wet alley
Erm, how? Why? Does this magical organic wind have magical curfew abilities, too?as every man, woman and child has now retired to their domiciles and every creep to his crypt
LUL, so that's what r/Womenwritingmen would doall four men are equally intimidating -each large and boasting terrorising muscles // his imposing muscles bulge out within the confines of his coat
Ah, yes, a retail venue depending on customer interaction. At the end of an alley (I know it's a facade shop, but damn my suspension of disbelief is almost non-existent now)At the end of the alley and directly in front of the cat, is a comic-book store
Look, you stupid beaner, I know you think the name sounds sUpEr kEwL komplete with Mortal Kombat poor literacy, but neither in business nor in prose you use last names. You don't see Homer frequent Syzlak's, do you?the sign says, "Killjoy Komics.”
I know peepeerod will handwave this as "Well she flew up" or "of course she has a roof hatch", but how? and why? - also, Peepee, why around you describing her silhouette, including her bulging breasts, like you did with the villains? You sexist or sumthin?Killjoy stands atop the structure, majestic and confident, while the moonlight sihouettes her figure.
Skipping the fight scene, as it's just Mary Sue mops the floor with the villains while not breaking sweat. Yawn.
Is it related to Erod's small hammer? Does it have a raped girl as the source of its power? Do tell please :3her pocket-watch, which magically becomes a magnifying glass
Whea da yt tunas at?gots any tuna oveh deh
Yeah, it's definitely ebonics. For enjoyable negro sprech I'll take Melville or Poe over this.
Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl muh'fugen bix nood
Whenever you feel down :3
Whenever you feel down :3
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Re: Kassandra Killjoy: Paranormal Private-Eye "The Search for the Swordsman" - A short story cosplaying as a novel by pe
Killjoy Komics
Kassandra Killjoy Komics
K. K. K.
I think there's a hidden meaning here.
Kassandra Killjoy Komics
K. K. K.
I think there's a hidden meaning here.

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Re: Kassandra Killjoy: Paranormal Private-Eye "The Search for the Swordsman" - A short story cosplaying as a novel by pe
Fuck, I take it back the the rest of the "concept art" didn't have any interesting shit going for it.
A rather masculine rendition of our beloved MC
>In accordance to the release date of the first book, Killjoy's canonical birthday is now-
Hang on a sec. Why the fuck does her canonical birthday depend on the release date? What is she, a Vocaloid? She's part of the product, not the product itself.
>January 25th 1293
Wat
>731 years old
Ah, good. For a moment I thought there was a typo. Though I hope you know that the vampire loli meme doesn't become less cringe if you replace "vampire" with "witch".
And my fellow Busterinos, keep this in the back of your precious little head during any of Kil-Hoy's whacky antics: She's almost 3/4 of a millenium old.
How did Barcelona, Spain even look like in the 13th century, anyways?
*doing some research*
So she's older than the Consolat de Mar, but missed Barcelona, Spain being its own country by just a few decades. Good to know. I'm lovin' this rich worldbuilding so far.
Also starting to wonder if we'll ever get some ground rules regarding her mad magic skills, or if she will just continue to do whatever the fuck she wants.
I mean, even in vile Arch-TERF Joanne's thinly-disguised manifesto H*rry P*tt*r you generally got the impression that arcane shoot-outs between wizards weren't really all that different from regular shoot-outs.
A rather masculine rendition of our beloved MC
>In accordance to the release date of the first book, Killjoy's canonical birthday is now-
Hang on a sec. Why the fuck does her canonical birthday depend on the release date? What is she, a Vocaloid? She's part of the product, not the product itself.
>January 25th 1293
Wat
>731 years old
Ah, good. For a moment I thought there was a typo. Though I hope you know that the vampire loli meme doesn't become less cringe if you replace "vampire" with "witch".
And my fellow Busterinos, keep this in the back of your precious little head during any of Kil-Hoy's whacky antics: She's almost 3/4 of a millenium old.
How did Barcelona, Spain even look like in the 13th century, anyways?
*doing some research*
So she's older than the Consolat de Mar, but missed Barcelona, Spain being its own country by just a few decades. Good to know. I'm lovin' this rich worldbuilding so far.
Also starting to wonder if we'll ever get some ground rules regarding her mad magic skills, or if she will just continue to do whatever the fuck she wants.
I mean, even in vile Arch-TERF Joanne's thinly-disguised manifesto H*rry P*tt*r you generally got the impression that arcane shoot-outs between wizards weren't really all that different from regular shoot-outs.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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Re: Kassandra Killjoy: Paranormal Private-Eye "The Search for the Swordsman" - A short story cosplaying as a novel by pe
>700 years old
>owinng the first printing of Blue Beetle instead of Don Quijote or El Cid

>owinng the first printing of Blue Beetle instead of Don Quijote or El Cid

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl muh'fugen bix nood
Whenever you feel down :3
Whenever you feel down :3
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