Allison in Applebee's Hell: The Lupa Thread

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical reader's head

[Musical Space Cowboy]

James Garfield was in a conundrum. The bullet had ripped though his flesh, taking him from the mortal coil, and now he was floating through the cosmos, wondering where he would go. Would he go to heaven, hell, nothingness? He knew naught.

Suddenly, before him appeared a beautiful woman. Garfield approached her, being that she was the only other living thing he had seen in his postmortum travels.

"Who are you?" Garfield asked the woman.

"I am Luna, the Roman goddess of the moon," the woman said, "and I've come to help you in your time of confusion."

"Well," Garfield started, "I wish to be alive again. I was a president before, and I wish to be something far more."

"And thus it is granted." Luna whisked Garfield back to Earth, to fulfill the destiny that he wished for.

Garfield awoke on Earth, under the pupil of 10,000 or more eyes. He realized the power he now had, letting out a yawn. However, while letting out that yawn, he heard a noise come from his mouth. A noise that sounded similar to "meow". He looked down at his hands, but they were no longer hands: they were paws, with orange fur encasing them.

"That Luna bitch turned me into a cat!" Garfield screamed in his head, as he could no longer speak. "I will do everything I can, for the rest of this life, to make a return visit and 'return her favor'."

Garfield did whatever he could to die. He ate fatty foods, becoming more obese than he ever did in his human life. He committed dangerous stunts, such that only cartoon characters could survive them, yet he could not die. In fact, he lived longer than any cat had ever lived. Then, with horror, he realized why he couldn't die.

"Luna made it so that I am immortal." Garfield reacted with horror. "I wished to be more powerful than I was in life, and she granted it."

And so, every week for time immemorial, you can hear Garfield curse Luna for the fate he had brought upon himself.

And now you know why Garfield hates Mondays.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

I'm more of a fan of Garfield's historical prose.

Garfield: King of LibertyShow

It was year 177X and Empire of England was spreading terror with conquest. King George III was invading lands of plunder for lasagna. With lasagna King George III fueled robotic army of mechanical menace. America was last hope and King George III was determined with determination to rule it for lasagna conquest and steal its precious lasagna resource. Founding fathers and the constitution were at constitutional conventions discussing plans for last resistance.

"George Washington you must fight for American freedom and lead us to victory." Said the Constitution with orders.

"Do not be fool. George Washington is not man enough for such responsibility." Argued Thomas Jefferson with disagreements.

"He is right. I alone can not fight the fight of freedom." George Washington cried with tears.

"You! Insolence! If no one is man enough to fight for freedom America will fall!" Scolded the Constitution with anger.

"Fear not for I have found the true man and warrior of freedom." Benjamin Franklin reassured with confidence.

"WHAT?" Cried out everyone with surprise.

"It is true. Look with your heart and your eyes will believe." Said Benjamin Franklin pointing at figure in the doorway.

In doorway walked Orange figure of amazing power. His muscles rippled with American pride and freedom. As he walked in rockin music played and giant American flag waved behind him. As he stepped cawing eagles were heard.

"GARFIELD?" Cried out everyone in shock.

"This is right you founding failures. Time to stop your tears and ready the fists of war." Garfield said with scolding words.

"But English armies are outnumbering us by many men!" Thomas Jefferson anguished with despair.

"I am the minuteman. I only need one minute for every man." Garfield said with incredible coolness.

[Ghost Dog]

Loopy privated her Twitter account when she got some backlash for her tweet saying no actor deserves to get paid $95 million in reference to RDJ's pay for the next Avengers movie. https://x.com/AllisonPregler

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Must've been in dire need of some victimhood for her to diss the MCU's golden child.

[wulfenlord]

Poor, poor Alison


Love her newest role though

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Holy shit that channel is awesome.

[Old Black Man]

A channel that is awesome, or an awesome channel if you will? Lupa will destroy it!

[Lindsay's Liver]

I don't pay attention to Lupa's Twitter, but I saw a few replies to her Robert Downey Jr tweet. I almost posted it here, but didn't because her tweet wasn't even very interesting.

Surprised it went badly for her.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Surprised it went badly for her.

If you piss off a large enough fanbase, chances are it will contain plenty of people who are just as thin-skinned as you.