Movieblob

[mad bum]

Why the fuck am I getting notifications for this thread by everyone who posts here, I don't even care about the blob

See the top of the thread? See the wrench thing? On the drop down menu it should either say 'Subscribe topic' or 'Unsubscribe Topic'. If it says unsubscribe, then you've subscribed to be notified of new posts here

I see now, thank you char

[Guest]

It's all nerdshit with Bob. Or else he parrots what other, popular critics say about films. He wants us to believe he has more substance than that but he really doesn't

He wants to be an unironic IRL Cinema Snob, yet has nothing to back his ego up.

That's pretty sad when you want to be Kyle Kallgren.

[Oengae]

Movie criticism online in Current Year+3 is just either plot summary, corporate shilling, or being a diversity pimp. If he wants to show he's different he has to regularly produce content that shows he knows his shit. Can he break down a scene? Discuss cinematography, lighting, basic Film Theory 101 shit? Can he tell an audience why that shit matters? Respect is given, not taken so he needs to put up or shut up.

[drisko]

It's all nerdshit with Bob. Or else he parrots what other, popular critics say about films. He wants us to believe he has more substance than that but he really doesn't

He wants to be an unironic IRL Cinema Snob, yet has nothing to back his ego up.

He's made it clear he thinks he's the real life version of Jay Sherman. Though considering he assumes fictional characters are real he probably assumes Sherman is his real father.

[Guest]

"Everyone wants to talk to me about Marvel movies and not the movies that I really care about".

No actual good critic who has interesting point of view has this problem.

[Keith Chegwin]

He's made it clear he thinks he's the real life version of Jay Sherman.

Jay Sherman had a kid. And a girlfriend

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

He's made it clear he thinks he's the real life version of Jay Sherman. Though considering he assumes fictional characters are real he probably assumes Sherman is his real father.

I bet in his headcanon, Jay comes from Brooklyn and is actually Mario.

That's pretty sad when you want to be Kyle Kallgren.

He can't even be that. Even Kyle has seen more obscure shit than Blob will ever bother to watch.

[Cuckara]

Blob is totally full of shit when he whines that he reviews capeshit only because it's his job. He has always been a massive Marvel fanboy and he never ever discusses arthouse films or pre-1970 films. The only thing that differentiates him from a "nerd" is he likes bland Oscar bait that pushes his neo-liberal views (e.g. Selma). Also, I'm sure he hasn't picked up a non-genre fiction book since he left college. Someone should try to get him to talk about literature. That would be a beautiful trainwreck. He likes to pretend he's cultured but he's no better than a 15 year old who just started to get into cinema.

[Keith Chegwin]

I'm not saying Blob doesn't have any old movies like that he likes, but the only one I remember him talking about was fucking Citizen Kane. I'm not even sure I'm right about that one.

We've heard second hand how he talked about Citizen Kane once, but I doubt he actually 'likes' it. Any basic bitch film critic can talk about Kane. There's been so much said and written about Kane and how it was a game changer that even an idiot like Bob could parrot some of it and come off looking halfway intelligent.

Bob can talk about Kane but he'd never talk about The Magnificent Ambersons, or Touch of Evil, Mr Arkadin, Chimes at Midnight, etc. Wouldn't know the first thing about any of them.

[Oengae]

Found this on foxdickfarms. Blob went to Cancun for his sister's wedding and predictably was a joyless fuck on his phone:


"Bob! Your brother in law is about to toss the garter, get over here!"
"Ugh, not right now, mom. I'm busy protecting proud woc's against alt-right Nazis"
"Bobby, you can pause your Call of Duty game and play back at the hotel!"
*eye roll* "I'm not playing some dudebro gamergater game, mother, I'm a verified geek cultural critic on twitter and I'm delivering hot takes to take down subhuman Middle Americans!"
"...Just get over here."