Movieblob

[CuckTurdginson]

Blob had a thread on twitter about Sanders where one of the things he says is that he "didn't vote for him because he's an adult."
Blob Chipman the adult, I shit you not.

The thing about it all is that Blob is the general attitude of the democrats right now. Double down on the coasts, fuck the midwest and south, and dreams will come. I hope against hope that this shit with Donna Brazile inspires some transformation. But then again maybe not. He's saying what the rest of them are thinking.

[Kugelfisch]

Ideologically, yes. Bob would make a perfect Nazi. But, personally, I don't see any scenario that doesn't end with Hitler sending Bob to the concentration camp.

And that's the great irony. If Bob ever got his wish of his utopia, he'd be one of the first against the wall.

That's the point. Useful Idiot, as I said. He basically supports Dr. Mengele. He's in support of ethnic cleansing and getting rid of degenerates. His targets are only a bit different because it's [current year +2] and not the 30s. He'd gleefully be part of those in power who round up ethnic and social groups not deemed worthy to live. Really, that's what he'd like to be right now as well. It's not like SocJus is the struggle of the few as they like to portray it.
Blob would eventually be dispatched but until then he'd clean up real good and enjoy every second of it.

[drisko]

We've been talking about it quite a lot in the shit gaming section recently, you might wanna check it out.

I took a look, though it was more about how the devs are making it all about 'real nazis' to fight and shit. Nah, I'd rather laugh at how stupid Bob is and how his perfect world is completely unfeasible.

[drisko]

So this was just a vlog version of his 'how to fix' and kind of just rambles. Remember, opinions expressed by Bob that I am writing down are most likely not my own.

Alien - Make the alien the good guy. Because Bob can't think of a way to make xenomorphs scary any more, he thinks they should be the heroes now. And because alien has always been about women it should be a young queen the company has capture and are trying to force breed her so she breaks out and the movie becomes Die Hard where it's one hero against a group of villains. He actually said that. Because after forty years of being single-minded killing machines, we're just going to buy this one as a hero

Jaws - Don't do it, he goes on for a minute about how it would be a bad idea and I agree... But if you have to do it about how the town now encourages tourism because of the shark attacks, like Salem and the witches (Yes, that's the example he uses). And now the mayor is faking shark attacks to get more tourists and it goes wrong where another massive shark shows up.

Nightmare on Elm Street - So one thing he finds odd is that Freddy is supposed to be a child molester, yet goes after his victims as teenagers so they need to be kids this time. He admits his idea is basically Pennywise and thinks just ripping off IT is a good idea.

Street Fighter - Holy shit this was so vague and generic I have no interest in writing it down.

Mortal Kombat - Make it a hard R and repeat the first game, but to explain the fatalities make it so that on the island, everyone has a healing factor so they can keep coming back.

DC - They should have started with Justice League the same way X-Men starts as a team. Basically, Batman wants to join the league but they don't want him because he's too violent, then he whines about the other movies. Yeah

Transformers - Use the G1 designs and reuse the story from More Than Meets the Eye. Basically 'muh nostalgia is best.'

Ninja Turtles - Is going to be a full video later, but he wants a cinematic universe.

Legend of Zelda - It shouldn't be epic, it should be a basic story about Link saving a princess from the villain and getting treasure, should only be 90 minutes. Thinks the Tom Cruise movie Legend should be redressed into Zelda

The Last Starfighter - No remakes, needs to be a sequel because you have to address the change in gaming culture since then (No you don't) and that'd apparently work better in a sequel (Remake can do that too). So the villain got away in the end of the first and in this movie, he's sending down his own games to find his own chosen one. It's the good and noble old school gamer against the evil millenial gamer who plays the evil Call of Duty and Halo style games the villain made. Because it's Bob.

GI Joe - Waves his nerd dick by mentioning how in the original comics, Cobra were domestic terrorists so do that as the movie because it works as satire now. As for GI Joe, they need a reason to exist, they need to be a small army within the army. He tries to list off different branches and apparently doesn't know soldiers and army are the same thing. Basically they're a secret army thing.

Yay, that's all done now. Thank fuck.

[rabidtictac]

Aliens aren't sentient, Blob you fuck. They're like lizards or insects or some shit. I might be missing some DEEP PLOTS somewhere, but the whole point of the Xenomorph is it's evolved with survival in mind. Intelligence is often detrimental to survival past a certain point. Becoming so intelligent that you get depression and An Hero yourself isn't a trait that keeps the species alive. Xenomorphs are intelligent in the same way Sharks, Tigers, Crocodiles and Weasels are intelligent: They're smart enough to identify prey and figure out how to kill and eat it.

Transformers is retarded and the old movies from the 80s still exist, as well as that toy commercial called a "cartoon" with the shitty animation.

Not enough people left on this planet care about Teenage Mutant Nigga Turtles: Gangstas in the Half Shell. It was always a niche franchise.

Legend of Zelda as a movie concept would be fucking awful.

Last Starfighter is some niche shit. I only saw it because my dad would watch those kinds of movies with me as a kid. It was fun, but it's the definition of nostalgia now and we don't need a shitty CURRENT YEAR movie. Doesn't matter if you call it a remake or a sequel. After this long, anything that comes out IS basically a remake. No surprise he wants to shit all over muh cod of doody and muh halo, even though halo basically ended as a franchise after Bungie sold it/ditched it and 343 took over. Battlefield, Battlefront, Overpleb and PUBG would be more relevant meme examples.

The most obvious GI Joe plot would be stopping mudslimes a la Team America, but Blob would lose his shit if that happened lelelel. He'd probably want the cobra to be KKK and GI Joe to be Antifascist Joe.

[Guest]

I still pray everyday for Bob to die from a heart attack or committ suicide

[sigh]

the company has capture and are trying to force breed her so she breaks out and

His idea starts to resemble Resurrection, which thinking of who written that starts to make sense why that would be his idea to "fix" the series.

[Guest]

Rape advocate Bob Chipman's ideas are fucking awful. Hey, how about he comes up with an idea for a movie about how his friend and mentor is a Internet movie blogger, sexually assaults a few women, and then Bob helps cover it up?

[OldManBones]

I've seen shitty fanfiction with better ideas than what Bobby shat out.

The Alien idea is probably the worst of them. I have no idea how this brainless tub of lard even has a fanbase. Do they seriously hear him prattle off these terrible ideas and go "yup, that's genius! Bob should run Hollywood!"

[Guest]

So this was just a vlog version of his 'how to fix' and kind of just rambles. Remember, opinions expressed by Bob that I am writing down are most likely not my own.

Alien - Make the alien the good guy. Because Bob can't think of a way to make xenomorphs scary any more, he thinks they should be the heroes now. And because alien has always been about women it should be a young queen the company has capture and are trying to force breed her so she breaks out and the movie becomes Die Hard where it's one hero against a group of villains. He actually said that. Because after forty years of being single-minded killing machines, we're just going to buy this one as a hero

Geez, Blob's hatred for humanity is showing. Probably should make The Borg the good guys in Star Trek while we're at it. That would fit perfectly with his ideology.

Jaws - Don't do it, he goes on for a minute about how it would be a bad idea and I agree... But if you have to do it about how the town now encourages tourism because of the shark attacks, like Salem and the witches (Yes, that's the example he uses). And now the mayor is faking shark attacks to get more tourists and it goes wrong where another massive shark shows up.

That is literally the plot of a Five Nights at Freddie's sequel. Blob only steals from the best. Or great minds think alike.

Nightmare on Elm Street - So one thing he finds odd is that Freddy is supposed to be a child molester, yet goes after his victims as teenagers so they need to be kids this time. He admits his idea is basically Pennywise and thinks just ripping off IT is a good idea.

The hell...? Freddy wasn't even a child molester originally, that was added in one of the crappy the sequels. That he chose that as the central focus makes him jump a couple of notches on the creep meter...

Mortal Kombat - Make it a hard R and repeat the first game, but to explain the fatalities make it so that on the island, everyone has a healing factor so they can keep coming back.

If he said "make it like the first

movie

, but with a hard R" I would actually be on board. Plot wise, the Mortal Kombat movie showed exactly how you make a fighting game movie: you remake Bloodsport, with video game characters. It's only problem was that it was neutered for the kiddies. His "everyone is Wolverine" idea is spectacularly stupid. Way to kill all the tension by making it so no one can die.

DC - They should have started with Justice League the same way X-Men starts as a team. Basically, Batman wants to join the league but they don't want him because he's too violent, then he whines about the other movies. Yeah

The first part, with them starting as team, sounds fine. We really don't need another Avengers movie about coming together and learning the value of teamwork. But again, the second part ruins it. Nobody wants to see Superman and Batman whine at each other about who's more violent.

Transformers - Use the G1 designs and reuse the story from More Than Meets the Eye. Basically 'muh nostalgia is best.'

Better idea for making a Transformers reboot: don't. The concept works far better as kid's tv show anyway.

Ninja Turtles - Is going to be a full video later, but he wants a cinematic universe.

Again, better idea: don't.

Legend of Zelda - It shouldn't be epic, it should be a basic story about Link saving a princess from the villain and getting treasure, should only be 90 minutes. Thinks the Tom Cruise movie Legend should be redressed into Zelda

Meh. Whatever.

T

he Last Starfighter - No remakes, needs to be a sequel because you have to address the change in gaming culture since

And I'm already gone.

GI Joe - Waves his nerd dick by mentioning how in the original comics, Cobra were domestic terrorists so do that as the movie because it works as satire now. As for GI Joe, they need a reason to exist, they need to be a small army within the army. He tries to list off different branches and apparently doesn't know soldiers and army are the same thing. Basically they're a secret army thing.

Blob knows nothing about how the jawk military operates? Say it ain't so! And weren't Cobra terrorists in the new movies too?

There are a couple of decent ideas buried in ideas so awful they could only come from someone who doesn't understand basic human behavior. Typical Moviebob.