Flustered Fernando and the Seven Pesos

[Guest]

The EU is memorable. At least the retarded bits.

Yeah... I remember they revealed Palpatine created the empire to have a strong enough galactic military to defeat a warrior race from outside the galaxy.

A warrior race that happens to wear lightsaber-proof crabs as armor (somehow) and wields lightsaber-proof snakes as weapons. That should be a joke, but it isn't.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

You forgot to mention how these Eugene Schlong are nasty painsluts. Literally every chapter featuring an inner monologue by one of these guys is about how hawt it feels to have one of their biotech gadgets sodomize them in every orifice and pore.

[Kugelfisch]

You forgot to mention how these Eugene Schlong are nasty painsluts. Literally every chapter featuring an inner monologue by one of these guys is about how hawt it feels to have one of their biotech gadgets sodomize them in every orifice and pore.

Sounds like Slaanesh worshippers to me!

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

That's because they basically are. If they also had a bit of a hard-on for Dark Eldar and somehow managed to appropriate Tyranid weapons and ships.

[Kugelfisch]

Dark Eldar were such a fucking joke. I once defeated a dude's Dark Eldar army of thirty five of those leather faggots with a single tactical squad.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Afaik, they're basically light raiders. In game full of brick shithouses with multiple layers of defenses. Who also have lightspeed gangrape tricks up their sleeve.

[Kugelfisch]

Afaik, they're basically light raiders. In game full of brick shithouses with multiple layers of defenses. Who also have lightspeed gangrape tricks up their sleeve.

Back when they were new, they were supposed to be really dangerous at close range. In my opinion they didn't cost too many points, their stats were just terrible. At range it was basically impossible to fight Space Marines. Roll to hit, then a very difficult roll to penetrate armour and another very difficult roll to wound and even then their weapons dealt so little damage that they hardly ever actually kill one.
Meanwhile, a regular Bolter fucks their shit up. And since you've got no reason to close in on them you'd stay put and can shoot twice because Space Marines can just do that. The one faggot that managed to break through got fucked by my Captain's Chainsword.

And he was all "I get to field so many dudes because Space Marines are way too expensive!". They aren't. They are pure value.
I'm sure they changed them a lot by now. At release they were basically weaker and slower Tyranids that weren't even all that much cheaper. The cheaper 'nids were faster and more dangerous in combat and the more expensive ones were fuckoff machines of hatred and destruction that can take Bolter fire like a champ.

Edit: For perspective, had I just used the points to field a Dreadnaught with a Powerclaw and Chaingun instead I'm sure they couldn't even penetrate it's armour.

[Rushy]

Those skits all but confirm that Joe is in the closet

[mad bum]

Other Joe still along for the ride to free money I see.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

He has to if he wants to stay in Burgerland.