Movie Thread

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TheManWithNoPlan
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Re: Movie Thread

Post by TheManWithNoPlan » Fri Oct 23, 2020 11:30 am

Maybe they could do something with Frankenstein and the Invisible man using science to play god vs Dracula and the Mummy supernatural beings that are kinda proof of god but they never bring that up.

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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: Movie Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Fri Oct 23, 2020 5:28 pm

I guess the closest thing to what the Dark Universe could've been was that The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movie, which was basically early 2000s capeshit with horror movie blokes.
Of course the movie fucked up the overall power levels by making Mina a vampire (she wasn't in the comics) that was basically indestructable and pretty much the only one with actual powers that didn't seem to have any drawbacks.
Guest wrote:
Fri Oct 23, 2020 2:27 am
The different Universal monsters crossed over all the time in the old black and white movies, and it worked just fine. They would just make the individual movies and didn't do that gay shit where they try to set up plot points for later movies. (E.g., the Oscorp basement of villain costumes in The Amazing Spider-Man, and I think that Tom Cruise mummy movie had something similar in it.)
The Mummy movie had Russel Crowe as Jekyll/Hyde, working for what I assume was suppsed to be the Dork Universe analogue for S.H.I.E.L.D.

And the old crossovers worked because they didn't try to build some greater lore, or splice in capeshit.
Guest wrote:
Fri Oct 23, 2020 4:07 am
Or was he going to be the villain that Russell Crowe was going to hunt? How does an Invisible Man, a strong guy, and some hot blonde chick fight a god?
By recruiting Slenderman.
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Re: Movie Thread

Post by Guest » Fri Oct 23, 2020 7:24 pm



Damn, I can't wait to see what comes next!


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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: Movie Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Fri Oct 23, 2020 7:28 pm

Wait. Wasn't Johnny Depp supposed to be the Invisible Man? You lied to me, Universal!
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Re: Movie Thread

Post by Guest » Fri Oct 23, 2020 7:51 pm

You can tell from the trailer alone that it's a MeToo "believe all women" movie. Aging Scientology Actress is still kind of cute, though. If they had made a modern version of Hollow Man and she got naked it would have been decent. But whatever. Got to be on the right side of history.

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Sieg Zeon
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Re: Movie Thread

Post by Sieg Zeon » Fri Oct 23, 2020 9:04 pm

Hollow Man was the most believable version of an invisible man scenario, well aside from that one hentai.

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Moe Bitches
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Re: Movie Thread

Post by Moe Bitches » Fri Oct 23, 2020 11:08 pm





Hmmm....
da PAC Nigguh wrote:
Wed Nov 25, 2020 12:06 am
Shit like this is why satire is dead in currentyear.

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Re: Movie Thread

Post by Rushy » Sat Oct 24, 2020 1:57 am

VoiceOfReasonPast wrote:
Fri Oct 23, 2020 5:28 pm
The Mummy movie had Russel Crowe as Jekyll/Hyde, working for what I assume was suppsed to be the Dork Universe analogue for S.H.I.E.L.D.
I have so many questions:
1) How did Jekyll get to modern day? I mean, the Mummy is a story that you can tell in any time - he's an old-ass mummy who is awakened in current year. But Jekyll's entire storyline only works in the context of the repressed Victorian era.

2) Why would anyone hire Jekyll? He's a chemist with a serious personality disorder that could fuck up their operations at any given time. And that anti-serum can't be cheap to make.

3) Why would the writers choose Jekyll to represent their "world of Gods and Monsters"? I know they don't want to blow their load by introducing the biggest names too soon, but compared to just about everyone else, he's so low-key. He's a dude who turns into a dick sometimes. That's literally it. Why not Dr Griffin, who is also a chemist, has actual authority and whose power would be useful to a paramilitary organisation? Why not Larry Talbot, who is a rich millionaire, could conceivably found such an organisation and also has useful abilities?

4) Compared to comic book characters, there is a much smaller amount of Universal monsters out there - so how would this Marvel setup even work? They can only have like 4-5 "good" and "bad" guys respectively. Unless they start making films about Renfield and every other tertiary character. But those are much harder to sell than random superheroes with eye-catching costumes.

5) Russell Crowe as... Jekyll? I mean, I like Russell Crowe, but... Jekyll?
Kugelfisch wrote:
Sat Oct 23, 2021 1:36 pm
Oh there will be fucker for sure.

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Re: Movie Thread

Post by Guest » Sat Oct 24, 2020 2:32 am

Rushy wrote:
Sat Oct 24, 2020 1:57 am
VoiceOfReasonPast wrote:
Fri Oct 23, 2020 5:28 pm
The Mummy movie had Russel Crowe as Jekyll/Hyde, working for what I assume was suppsed to be the Dork Universe analogue for S.H.I.E.L.D.
I have so many questions:
1) How did Jekyll get to modern day? I mean, the Mummy is a story that you can tell in any time - he's an old-ass mummy who is awakened in current year. But Jekyll's entire storyline only works in the context of the repressed Victorian era.
"Only people in the Victorian Era were repressed" is quite a take.

In any case, Victorian era repression and its effect on their writings is overstated by modern day shitlib academics still screaming "fuck you dad!" In their heads 24/7. Not to say the Victorians weren't repressed and it didn't have any bearing on their art, it's just that their creations tend to have more dimensions than what aforementioned academics admit.

In the case of Jekyll/Hyde, Hyde isn't just a "liberated" Jekyll, he's a complete sociopath that represents all of humanity's worst qualities with none of its redeeming characteristics. There's nothing that exempts him from functioning in a modern setting other than the competence of the writers.
2) Why would anyone hire Jekyll? He's a chemist with a serious personality disorder that could fuck up their operations at any given time. And that anti-serum can't be cheap to make.
We know nothing about this version of Jekyll's past other than vague allusions. In theory a ton of backstory had been written about the DU, but who fucking knows what those idiots were actually doing with their time. We have no idea what was going on behind the scenes and probably never will.
3) Why would the writers choose Jekyll to represent their "world of Gods and Monsters"? I know they don't want to blow their load by introducing the biggest names too soon, but compared to just about everyone else, he's so low-key. He's a dude who turns into a dick sometimes. That's literally it. Why not Dr Griffin, who is also a chemist, has actual authority and whose power would be useful to a paramilitary organisation? Why not Larry Talbot, who is a rich millionaire, could conceivably found such an organisation and also has useful abilities?
Probably because he was so low key. He's a pudgy Englishman with multiple personality disorder, so he was set to be the Nick Fury of the series. Griffith and Talbot were being positioned for their own films, presumably with Jekyll in a supporting role.
4) Compared to comic book characters, there is a much smaller amount of Universal monsters out there - so how would this Marvel setup even work? They can only have like 4-5 "good" and "bad" guys respectively. Unless they start making films about Renfield and every other tertiary character. But those are much harder to sell than random superheroes with eye-catching costumes.
Again, actual information on how the films were going to be structured is hard to come by and unless someone on the writing staff comes forward to say "guess what these fucking kikes were planning" these questions will never be answered.

The Mummy was not just a flop, it was a fucking embarrassment. It was an out of touch film studio pimping out its classic properties, arguably touchstones of Americana, in a way so utterly incompetent and tone deaf they might as well have had Dracula rapping about saying no to Drugs. Universal was and still is a laughing stock because of it. Fucking Sony was shoving them into lockers and giving them wedgies after that.
5) Russell Crowe as... Jekyll? I mean, I like Russell Crowe, but... Jekyll?
Who cares? These people were courting The Rock to play The Wolfman. They were off the fucking rails from day one.

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Re: Movie Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sat Oct 24, 2020 6:18 am

Rushy wrote:
Sat Oct 24, 2020 1:57 am
1) How did Jekyll get to modern day? I mean, the Mummy is a story that you can tell in any time - he's an old-ass mummy who is awakened in current year. But Jekyll's entire storyline only works in the context of the repressed Victorian era.
The numerous blunders that were their attempts to get the Dork Universe started should tell you that they don't really get the context of their IPs.
2) Why would anyone hire Jekyll? He's a chemist with a serious personality disorder that could fuck up their operations at any given time. And that anti-serum can't be cheap to make.
They just wanted to use the character, whether it makes sense or not. See my answer to 3)
3) Why would the writers choose Jekyll to represent their "world of Gods and Monsters"? I know they don't want to blow their load by introducing the biggest names too soon, but compared to just about everyone else, he's so low-key. He's a dude who turns into a dick sometimes. That's literally it. Why not Dr Griffin, who is also a chemist, has actual authority and whose power would be useful to a paramilitary organisation? Why not Larry Talbot, who is a rich millionaire, could conceivably found such an organisation and also has useful abilities?
I'm pretty sure they picked him so they could include a scene like this:

Russel Crowe: "Good evening, [Main Protagonist], my name is Henry Jekyll *nudge nudge wink wink*"
Audience: "OMG OMG He's gonna turn into Mr. Hyde!"

There is also the possibility that they didn't care enough about the character to give him his own movie. A psychological horror movie about a man losing control of his own life doesn't make for enough CGI spectacle.

And I guess Jekyll might've been more useful in this shared universe if they went with the League of Extraordinary Gentleman or Van Helsing approach of just making him the Hulk, but that's pretty fucking silly and a disservice to the original Hyde.
4) Compared to comic book characters, there is a much smaller amount of Universal monsters out there - so how would this Marvel setup even work? They can only have like 4-5 "good" and "bad" guys respectively. Unless they start making films about Renfield and every other tertiary character. But those are much harder to sell than random superheroes with eye-catching costumes.
I bet Renfield would put on an eye-catching costume once his grand keikaku of becoming a super vampire would've come to fruition.
5) Russell Crowe as... Jekyll? I mean, I like Russell Crowe, but... Jekyll?
They just hired a big enough actor so their Dork Universe would have more clout.
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