Dead Horse Interchange

mad bum wrote: ↑

Sun Jun 10, 2018 1:10 am

All he did was buy his ticket for Lebron out of Cleveland.

Guest wrote: ↑

Thu Jul 05, 2018 12:37 am

Right to the Lakers, basically guaranteeing the Warriors run the league for the next few years.

Guest wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 02, 2018 9:58 pm

Deadspin's America-hating "Why Your Team Sucks" is back, but it's just an excuse for Drew the Faggot to bitch about evil white Christians. Reddit loves it, of course. https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-suck ... 1828049637

Brad wrote:If you are a fan of the Cowboys who was born in the 80's this pretty much sums up the coaching situation and general relationship with the team. Your Mother (Jerry Jones) and Father (Jimmy Johnson) faked love for a few years together and everything was glorious for you as a child. Your Dad was smart, had a good job, great hair, and always gave you the most kick ass birthday and Christmas gifts (great draft picks, Super Bowl rings). This was life, it was the picket fence, the puppy, the whole nine yards! Your life was a fucking postcard. All the other kids were jealous of you.

Mom smiled on the outside, but secretly bitched to her friends about being underappreciated and was constantly a giant controlling twat to your Dad. Eventually, your Dad got tired of your Mom's constant fuckery and decided to go through the REAL Big D. They smiled, tried to break the news softly to you, Dad said he'd pick you up on the weekends and you guys would play catch. Two weeks later, he met a Cuban woman and moved to Miami to never be heard from again.

Mom told you everything would be fine. You guys got to keep the house and Dad's convertible (the team he built) and things weren't that bad the first couple of years. Mom met a new guy, Barry. Barry seemed cool, he showed you his college championship ring, let you see his gun before he packed it up for business trips, and Mom let Barry take you joy riding in Dad's old convertible. You really didn't miss Dad that much for the first couple of years. Then Barry took a lot of pain killers one night and crashed Dad's convertible into a telephone pole at 120 mph.

Mom dumped Barry's no-good ass and cock bounced around from loser to loser for a few years. You guys fell on financial hard times (Salary Capped) because your Mother burned through any money left from your Dad like an NBA lottery pick and you started to have to buy cereal with no box (Eddie George), eat beenie weenies for supper (Vinny Testaverde), and kids made fun of you at school for wearing fake misspelled JORDEN shoes (This pretty much sums up any roster Jerry assembled from 1999 to 2004.) Life was shit. You sometimes wished you'd never had things so great with your Dad, it was just a cruel reminder of how great some people (Pat's Fans) lives are. Mom made your life so miserable you wished Jerry Sandusky would adopt you.

Then Mom hooked up with grumpy old War Vet named Bill. Bill was somehow able to get your Mother to get her shit together. He got you moved out of the ghetto and into a semi-new apartment that at least had a pool. Bill could be a raging Viagra-fueled dick, but at least he was making things better. Unfortunately, he watched Tony Romo stumblefuck the Cowboys out of their best shot to win a Super Bowl in a decade, and had a coronary and died. She tried to see if another senior citizen named Wade was worth a shag. He was a nice guy but he turned out to be a huge pussy and let your Mom walk all over him and eventually she lost interest.

Now Mom is blowing a red headed douche who used to work for your Dad as a Temp, and is a constant reminder of how awesome life was at one time, and how it will never be the same again. Basically, your Mom (Jerry Jones) is a huge cunt.

Guest wrote: ↑

Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:11 am

Graceland is the same way. You literally have to descend into a hell-on-Earth ghetto that looks like something out of a dystopian future.