Star Whores: Diverse Agenda

[da PAC Nigguh]

Is Star Wars the only movie series that is so bad, fans have to try and polish the turds?

There have been fan attempts to edit that swollen mess of a Hobbit trilogy down to a single watchable film.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

I kinda like the fight. The guards are WAAAY better than Kylo. Kylo is a kid just... waving around. Seems to have no control at all with the fighting. And Rey... appearantly she got Kylo's abilities when they did that force kissing. So she learned to be equally good as Kylo with a lightsaber. In, what, in a space of 10 hours?

The Force is female, so she was already better than him.

[Liar Revealed]

There have been fan attempts to edit that swollen mess of a Hobbit trilogy down to a single watchable film.

Are any of them any good? I know people that are curious, but don't want to watch three bloated films for one story.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

I guess you could easily cut the runtime in half by removing all the CGI slapstick fight scenes and shit that didn't actually happen in the book.

[Liar Revealed]

I guess you could easily cut the runtime in half by removing all the CGI slapstick fight scenes and shit that didn't actually happen in the book.

Absolutely. But I'll bet it's still a lot harder than it sounds to excise the silly bloat and yet keep the story cohesion.

I once watched a fan edit of Revenge of the Sith and it was pretty good, but was still a little clunky in places and you could feel stuff was missing.

[Rushy]

The one thing that always pissed me off about the Hobbit and no special edit could fix was that they never filmed like 3/4 of the Mirkwood stuff. That part of the book was so much fun as a kid: creepy thick forest, a clear warning not to go off the road, then they go off the road, magical river, weird elves constantly annoying them with campfires, shooting squirrels to survive and then spiders...

[Guest]

I like that Hobbit 3 is just one long action scene. I especially liked the BTS doc where the hairy hobbit director had to shut down production because he had no idea what he was doing.

[Keith Chegwin]

Absolutely. But I'll bet it's still a lot harder than it sounds to excise the silly bloat and yet keep the story cohesion.

It's basically impossible to edit The Hobbit into one movie that's exactly like the book, because you've got stuff like the barrel scene which features Jackson's OC Donut Steel Stronk Wymyn Elf character pretty heavily, and if you cut her scenes out the whole sequence makes no sense.

[Guest]

Absolutely. But I'll bet it's still a lot harder than it sounds to excise the silly bloat and yet keep the story cohesion.

It's basically impossible to edit The Hobbit into one movie that's exactly like the book, because you've got stuff like the barrel scene which features Jackson's OC Donut Steel Stronk Wymyn Elf character pretty heavily, and if you cut her scenes out the whole sequence makes no sense.

The barrel scene is barely relevant in the book. They ride barrels to Lake Town... That's literally it. You could cut together five second a montage of Bilbo and the dwarfs riding barrels down the river without showing elf Rey. Done.

[Keith Chegwin]

I used that scene as an example. There are others that are virtually impossible to cut