Movie Thread

[Rushy]

Bond 25 sounds pretty miserable. I'm not too opposed to Craig coming back again considering that in Spectre, he finally loosened up a bit, but he is hardly the man all women want to be with at this point(if he ever was).
They hired the same Bond girl as last time so we can probably expect some On Her Majesty's Secret Service riffs. It's also pretty likely that they're bringing back Waltz as Blofeld and the dude who played Felix Leiter in the first two Craig films(I forget his name). Bound to be a fan service continuity extravaganza then(again), just what we want from our Bond adventures. I swear to God, if I see Judi Dench pop up, I will punch something.

The fact that the best part about this movie - Danny Boyle - was unceremoniously dropped along with his scriptwriter speaks volumes.

[Keith Chegwin]

I never liked Craig's films. The first one was all right once it actually got to the fucking plot, and Eva Green was hot. But they got the character completely wrong. The other ones were just dull, plodding treatises about Britain, the state of SIS and its place in the wider geopolitics. Which is actually not why I watch Bond, or read Bond books.

I think the best thing you can say about them is they had the right level of gadgets, although Skyfall's Q snarky, self-referential monologue about the Bond gadgets did make me groan rather loudly. Oh and Quantum of Solace did contain the most accurate depiction of the CIA in film ever

[Rushy]

Finally finished the Lee Dracula films with Satanic Rites Of Dracula(no, I'm not watching that 7 golden vampires whatever thing with fake!Lee).
You'd think that, since I loved Dracula 1972 and both films were written by the same guy(and a beloved Doctor Who writer no less), I'd love it, but it was a complete clusterfuck. Most of the film is just people sitting around and then like halfway through the movie, Dracula makes his first appereance - in a shitty flat bedroom.

Also, in this movie, he's gone full supervillain and is trying to literally destroy the world with an artificial virus. It's as cartoony as it sounds. And he gets foiled by a thorn bush. A fucking thorn bush. He goes through a thorn bush and it takes him down because Christ's thorn crown = another thing that can kill vampires. A fucking thorn bush.

There's very nearly a lesbian vampire gang rape scene, but they chicken out at the very last second. Boo.

[Guest]

Only good Bonds were Connery and Dalton. They possessed the right amount of charisma, suaveness and toughness to bring credibility to the role.
Moore is horrid. Always looked like someone’s senile Dad wandered onto the set, and upgraded to someone’s senile Grandad as he face slowly melted throughout the years
Lazenby is utterly dull
Brosnan despite being handsome and having a great voice had absolutely no charisma and his idea of acting was dry one liners and smug faces
Craig is absolutely shit. A boring charismaless faggot that transformed one of the most iconic film characters and the defining institution of the spy genre into yet another dime a dozen generic spy thriller involving saggy faced twats in grey suits fighting terrorists/random rogue states.

[veris leta facies]

Death Wish (2018)

All I have to say about this is.. all criminals here are white besides one, but there's a black female detective. What kind of fetish does movie producers have to have black wahmyn as high-ranking police officers in movies? Just recently I saw Dredd which had a black female police chief. But that's OK, it's a sci-fi after all and black female police chiefs are really sci-fi af. But is Death Wish supposed to be a sci-fi too..? And fucking hell Bruce Willis suck! He really should've stopped acting after Die Hard. He's like Suck Norris, had one good iconic role and afterwards primarily just insipid shit (yeah, Pulp Fiction was great, but c'mon, does somebody really believe Willis' performance was irreplaceable there?).

Die Hard (1988)

After that sucky pointlessness I had to rewatch an old classic. Everything rolls perfectly here, there's just the right amount of time of McClane's family issues with his wife, it sets the stage between them briefly and concisely, any more of that shit would have been too much, there are an awesome bad guy performances from Alan Rickman and the gang who all play well an evil Germans, there's just the right level of corniness in McClane's and jungle cop's buddy cop bonding via ham radios, action is fierce and impulsive, and on the top of that it really gets you in the mood for Christmas!

It's funny to think how the movie would've turned out if Schwarzenegger was casted as McClane's role as the original plan of producers was (Ahnold declined the role because he was working with the role in Twins at the time). Let's face it, with Blacknigger in the leading role this movie would've been even 10 times better! Impugning Willis' iconic role.. sacrilege, I know, but still I can't help but think how great it would've been.. "Nine millien terroristz in deh werld and I gottah kill one with feet zmaller than my zistah.". It would also been so fitting if an anglo played a German bad guy, an Austrian played an American hero. "Happy trailz, Hanz!"

[Rushy]

I wouldn't be that hard on the Bonds. Connery is obviously great, although I really wish we could've seen him in OHMSS so he could've had a chance to play the part with vulnerability. That's the one thing that holds him back from being my favourite.

Lazenby's just wooden, but has an innocent charm to him.

Moore is as removed from the original character as you can get, but he is always endearing to watch, at least.

Dalton is the best Bond as far as I'm concerned. He has the charm, he has the vulnerability, he actually read the damn books. It's a shame that the Living Daylights is boring as hell(his presence is the only highlight), but Licence To Kill kicks so much ass it makes up for it.

Brosnan is kind of the "greatest hits" Bond for me. He has some of the better qualities of his predecessors. Doesn't do any of them as well as they do, but I could easily put on any of his films anytime.

And Craig... meh. I really don't care for the thug Bond interpretation he initially went with, but I at least respect Casino Royale for the script and direction. Quantum of Solace is a shakycam nightmare and Skyfall goes back and forth for me. Sometimes I find it appealing, other times it's pretentious and boring as fuck. Spectre's kind of an embarrassment, but it is the only film where Craig doesn't seem to have a stick up his arse at least. Loved the bit where he told the guard to stay as if he was a pet.

[Keith Chegwin]

It's funny to think how the movie would've turned out if Schwarzenegger was casted as McClane's role as the original plan of producers was (Ahnold declined the role because he was working with the role in Twins at the time). Let's face it, with Blacknigger in the leading role this movie would've been even 10 times better!

If Ahnold had done it, it would have been a very different movie. It was basically going to be the sequel to Commando and when Ahnold passed on it they extensively retooled it.

I think there's a script floating around somewhere...

[JL Unlimited]

Death Wish (2018)
What kind of fetish does movie producers have to have black wahmyn as high-ranking police officers in movies?

The same one Sir Mix-A-Lot has

[Guest]

It's funny to think how the movie would've turned out if Schwarzenegger was casted as McClane's role as the original plan of producers was (Ahnold declined the role because he was working with the role in Twins at the time). Let's face it, with Blacknigger in the leading role this movie would've been even 10 times better!

If Ahnold had done it, it would have been a very different movie. It was basically going to be the sequel to Commando and when Ahnold passed on it they extensively retooled it.

I think there's a script floating around somewhere...

It was also going to be a sequel to The Detective with Frank Sinatra.

What's with opening credits now in Die Hards? The first three began with just the titles, then 4 & 5 had long-ass boring credit scenes and aren't even based on books for Christ's sake!

New Bond movie sounds like ass. It's being directed by some Jap who directed episodes of True Detective. Hopefully they still aren't going with the "Bond trains young female operative" shit that was making the rounds a few months ago. Barbara Broccolli really is a fucking retard doing her best to run the series into the ground.

[Guest]

Hahahah!

If you didn't like seasons 1-3, season 1 in the very least, then it was never for you

Tell me again how Fury Road was a game changer, Daddy!