Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

[ebin namefag]

He must buy it, so he can bring back G4.

But G4TV was already brought back.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

I meant the eternal classic about friendship and magic UwU


In a way, Hasbro knows the world is yearning for G4. Just look at the cover of the official MLP RPG
(100% compatible with the official Power Rangers GI Joe and Transformers RPGs)

[Kugelfisch]

Yeah, it's not like he has Scrooge McDuck's money bin available. His Twitter acquisition certainly took a hit on whatever he had to spare.

Which wasn't much. He sold massive amounts of stock and fucked Tesla for a while. That is one of the biggest bubbles yet to pop anyway, being a cool 10 times over-valued.
If he goes on another selling spree he will fuck the stock into the dust.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

But who's gonna make e-cars without Tesla? The Chinese?

[Kugelfisch]

But who's gonna make e-cars without Tesla? The Chinese?

Thanks to the forward-thinking and resourcefulness of Dear Leader Xi Pingpong, they have already produced them.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Now that's what I call Chinese efficiency.

Onto some tabletop sperging: Will the 6e era see the rise of a new Pathfinder?
Luckily, there already are 5e replacement systems on the market:

Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition

Point deduction for the stupid name already. It's by EN Publishing, who among other things run the EN World tabletop forum which I think is slightly less soy-filled than rpg.net (but then again, few things are).
As the title might suggest, it's a sort of crunchier 5e - which mostly revolves around picking some nickel-and-dime bonuses like it's 3.X again.
Also some very weird shit. Like at character creation you pick your "Destiny", which is like your general character arc. What is this, Powered by the Apocalypse or something?

Of course most controversial/annoying are the writers' decision to change certain class names to make them less "problematic":

• Barbarians are now "Berserkers", which is admittedly more honest with regards to their gimmick, but a lot more narrow in scope. Also I guess cultural appropriation is okay when it involves vikings.
• Paladins are now "Heralds", which is easily the dumbest name change. When I think "herald", I think of some glorified messenger reading aloud proclamations, not a champion of light and justice smiting evil.
  Speaking of, "Champion" would've been a lot better. Even Pathfinder 2 uses it, and their name change is a lot more justified since they've widened the scope to merge the Paladin with all of those "Paladin, but for a different alignment" classes that tend to pop up (like the usually Chaotic Evil Anti-Paladin, the Sith to the Paladin's Jedi).
• Monks are now "Adepts", which is too vague of a scope. Technically a Not-Shaolin Monk can be considered an adept, but so can Homer Simpson when he joined the Stonecutters. Fuck, 3.X used the name for a NPC class to fulfill all of your garbage spellcaster needs.
  And for extra lulz, the class still has an archetype called Warrior Monk.

Note that Bard and Druid did not get a name change. I guess cultural appropriation is okay when it involves celts.

On a positive note, they did some sensible class changes, like making the Warlock's Eldritch Blast a core class feature, instead of hiding it in the cantrip spell list. I mean, srsly, it's the class' main selling point. If your not planning on spamming ki blasts like Vegeta during a temper tantrum, you might as well just pick a Wizard or Sorcerer.
Also the new class that is the Marshal is a serviceable port of the 4e Warlord (who got axed in 5e because Mike Mearls is a hack who wanted to put martial classes back in their place).

Tales of the Valiant aka Black Flag

A direct result of WotC's little OGL scandal (where they wanted to fleece 3rd party publishers and were willing to retcon the OGL to accomplish it). This one's by Kobold Press, one of the biggest 3rd party publishers for 5e stuff, known for their Midgard setting and a series of monster manual replacements that are generally considered better than WotC's anemic releases.

This one's closer to Pathfinder in spirit, with less new shit and more tweaks to existing shit, based on their 10+ years of experience writing stuff for 5e (which among other things also includes making the Warlock's Eldritch Blast a core class feature).
Of particular note are the monsters, who have more streamlined statblocks while getting more interesting combat options at the same time. Plus the writers realized that 5e is too easy, so the monsters are tougher and hit harder.

This one doesn't have a Warlord port, but it gets a Machinist instead. It's a lot like the Artificer class in that it's about faffing around with (magic) items. Probably the weirdest trick involves starting with a Shard of Creation, which is effectively Green Lantern energy you can turn into a weapon or shield. Probably not a good choice for every setting.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Finally some cool news: the second/revised edition of ACKS (Adventurer Conqueror King System) is out.


From the OSR company too based for rpg.net (the main writer is considered vaguely alt-right or something, so you are not allowed to talk about or even recommend Autarch products on that site, lest the mods throw a temper tantrum), and a testament to what the OSR can do if it isn't copy-pasting B/X with a new coat of paint again.
Highlights include:

• Embracing the Basic D&D race-as-class system by actualy providing multiple elf and dwarf classes
• A distinct feel from most other OSR products by leaning heavily into Bronze/Iron Age aesthetics, with the most advanced warriors shown being Not-Roman legionaries. Sure there's still plate armor, but that one's rare af outside of dwarven markets. There's even a compatible supplement for the first edition that goes full Sword & Sorcery. The default setting even has two flavors of basically Atlanteans (one being basically extinct, the other being decadent af).
• Using a modification of THAC0 by effectively turning it into THAC10. Now the PCs hit roll values are more in line with saving throws, and an AC 0 actually means "no armor" this time around
• The writer is a complete math autists. If you have any questions for any concept of the game (like say the stuff for sale for a settlement of a certain size), he can give you a lengthy - but logical - explanation for everything.
• The game puts its own spin on the full BECMI high level experience, making this one of the most exhaustive OSR product out there. There's rules for absolutely everything:
  • domain management
  • grand strategy wars (with a first edition supplement you can even run fucking Warhammer-like tabletop battles)
  • politics
  • managing a thieves guild
  • managing trade caravans
  • taming monsters
  • breeding monsters
  • training monsters
  • getting and selling monster parts
  • constructing - and populating - your own dungeon for fun and profit
  • using divine or arcane power for research
  • make your own constructs
  • make your own crime against nature; fuck Owlbears
  • research and cast powerful rituals that can do just about anything, be it creating a flying fortress, summoning Cthulhu, or becoming a fucking god
• Lots of neat toolkits for DMs, with guidelines fo creating your own classes, spells and monsters. The latter is autistic enough to let you calculate the monster's mass and carrying capacity based on its size and overall body type
• Like a lot of other "revised" editions these days it ditches the OGL (because the OSR ain't gonna trust WotC ever again after they tried to retroactively change it), which actually results in some cool shit for the monster manuals. Gorgons are now actually lore accurate (aka ugly cicks with snake hair, claws and wings) instead of being weird bull monsters, the Lich has gotten a mythological makeover as a "Mummy Lord", demons and devils got condensed into "Cacodemons", which like the entry for Dragons is no more of a toolkit to cobble together your own abomination.

[Kugelfisch]

You had me at >too based for rpg.fag, if I were to play TTRPGs that is.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

For those unfamiliar with the hive of cum and troonery that is rpg.net:

Very stable individuals coping with Trump's election by sharing "Bash the Fash" RPGs. My favorite new one is probably Kill Him Faster, a time travel RPG about speedrunning Hitler's death. Because that shit probably won't get old after an evening. Just play Savage Worlds, FFS.

Fully Automted Luxury Gay Space Communism games, another coping mechanism for Orange Man.
(Not sure why Lancer pops up. It's really only communist by virtue of being post-scarcity, but there's not much "luxury" in a setting full of wars and literal insane AI gods)

[Complicity]

I'll stick with le baysed and chudpilled https://rpghq.org/
They have a list of woke and not-woke vidyas, even though i question their evaluation criteria since they seem to think that Disco Elysium is less pozzed than Outer Worlds.