Dead Horse Interchange

A remake of Cries and Whispers but instead of people mourning a loved one its the Antwiler's gathering together to figure out what the fuck to do with Noah

I feel like the final boos to a medieval Spoony Movie should be like a D&D Roper, except it's a christmas tree monster.

No my dudes, it's gotta be like, a movie about society, where like, we explore the rise and downfall of a man's Internet fame, we focus on themes of mental health, isolation, and the fear of success itself. We gotta critique our post modern world man, it's like, we gotta tap into the digital zeitgeist through the vehicle known as Noah Antwhiler.

It would start with narration, the man playing Noah Antwhiler tells us the story of how he got the name Spoonyone as he plays a game of DnD with some friends. He seems nice enough, but there's a streak of arrogance running through him as he plays the game, setting up his character as one with a tragic flaw that would later on end up destroying him. We see his face, and as the camera slowly zooms on him, he looks directly at the camera, and says to the audience, "And that's how I got my name." And then we reveal an audience of hundreds, cheering and laughing as he stands at the mike. The camera is now behind him, he is shrouded in black while the audience is bathed with white light. Antwhiler's arms are extended outward as if to embrace his adoring fans. And then suddenly, the lights go black. The cheering ends. And now he says, rather sadly, "And that's who I was".

The title card cuts in, in sharp contrast:

SPOONYONE

We'd cut to his dreary day job, his first week at his office job, the one he got right after graduating from college. From there, we'd highlight all the pivotal moments of his life from 2007 to 2019, maybe even 2020 depending on what interesting shit happens that year. We'd explore the rise and fall, we'd make it quirky in the beginning but with bits of foreshadowing that hints at what's yet to come, and then slowly it would get darker, and uglier, mimmicking Spoonyone himself.

This will get best picture at the Oscars and also win all those indie awards that have those circle leaf things.

My pitch for the Spoony movie:
When Spoony becomes The Spoony Bum for real, a trio of intrepid forum hotpockets bash his face in with a hammer.

Nah, we should be nice and encouraging. That's what really pisses him off.

the biggest problem was the funeral. april wouldn't go. only miles should be there. he should be sad about it, but in a 'wasted potential' and 'i tried to tell him' kind of way, and fully aware that nobody else showed up he shakes his head looking at the grave and leaves. and of course it's raining.

another idea would be a christmas carol with the spoony one instead of scrooge. the details would pretty much write themselves. of course he doesn't become happy/productive at the end but instead jumps out a window or something

Such a movie would consist of all three ghosts inviting him on a character-changing journey of self-discovery, only for Spoony to go "No."

a true Spoony Movie would be 3 hours of him lying in bed on his phone doing nothing
you think he'll do something, but he won't
it'd also be 144p and recorded by a shitty PC laptop camera

Rushy wrote: ↑

Sun Dec 29, 2019 4:59 am

a true Spoony Movie would be 3 hours of him lying in bed on his phone doing nothing
you think he'll do something, but he won't
it'd also be 144p and recorded by a shitty PC laptop camera

That'd be quite arthouse. Find a way to put a naked boy in it, like Spoony remembering the last time he took a bath as a little boy in a flashback, and you've got a prize winning movie. It'll rake in all the pretentious art awards.