https://vocaroo.com/i/s0mIYQHGPyLw
The Public Needs To Know This
Here is something I always wanted to make but never found the courage to do so. With the EU censoring the internet very soon I might never get another chance to go public with this knowledge, that's why I decided to do it now.
It is like Micheal Moore said, a criminal act.
But before I go into detail I have to clarify a few things. For anything I'm about to say to make sense I will give you my backstory but before that take into account the reason I use a robot voice is not because of anonymity but because my spoken English is too terrible. I don't want anybody, what might possibly become a one hour long thing, to sit through me completely butchering the English language.
With that out of the way I have to clarify one more thing. Even though I was diagnosed with schizophrenia it doesn't mean I can't separate reality from psychosis but more on that later.
I will now begin with the relevant parts of my backstory. It all started in what Americans would call middle school. I failed 11th grade due to what I believed at the time was depression. I left school and ultimately after a failed apprenticeship of a few months I decided it was time to visit a psychotherapist. I recovered and started another apprenticeship. After 3 years that one failed aswell. It has gotten so bad at the time that I believed some random pedestrian behind me would try to kill me when I walked to my workplace. A doctor recommended that I visit an asylum but all I wanted is more psychotherapy. No psychotherapist was available at the time so I had no choice.
Here is where the, what I call democracy fascism, showed to me it's ugly face. I was helpless, hopeless and vulnerable. I believed that someone would help me here. The first day I arrived I was drugged up and then later had to sign a contract. I don't remember the details what it was about and why I signed it. I had no choice but to sign it even though I knew the contract was void because I was drugged. All I remember was and I quote "In case of death". I assume it was some kind of reassurance in case I die from the medication the doctors are out of the field of fire. I clearly remember how that one women diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia when I talked only a few sentences about my problem. I can't deny it because I know it is something like that but they clearly didn't care to make sure what it really is in detail. It seemed really fishy at the time. They increased the dose every day I believe or every second day until it was like five times of the original. If it wasn't for my mother I would probably be dead by now. I told her what they given me and she told me that the drug Seroquel is very bad for your health. Something the doctors lied about when they claimed Seroquel is very compatible.
They also claimed the drug only works in a few weeks and not immediately when taken. I told them that it worked on the first day when I arrived. They had no answer. When I confronted the doctor why they give me such a high dose she asked why did I think the dose is high. I told her that the dose is now five times higher then when I first arrived here. She had no answer. I still remember her face and the look didn't change when I saw that women a few weeks later on the street. I could clearly tell it was the face of someone having a guilty conscience. I also remember that one day when a patient got his pills he complained about something like having gotten a wrong pill the day prior or something. The employee, if you wanna call him that, working at the asylum said and I quote "that's your bad luck". Most of the time we had nothing to do besides that one thing we were supposed to do like making baskets. I remember when the dose was really high I had some strange side effects that made me stop taking the drug altogether. I saw lightning in my eyes and couldn't stop laughing.
The drug or whatever you wanna call that works like one big painkiller. It makes everything in your brain stop not only the paranoia but everything. My parents said when I was home first week I was an emotionless being. I also had incredible trouble with motor skills like I was only able to do everything at a very slow pace. When I told them that they wanted me to take something else even though prior they claimed Seroquel is the best one patients get with the least side effects. They lied. As I already said I stopped taking it altogether not even that childs book they gave me that explains everything could convince me that they even remotely know what they are doing. When I couldn't stop laughing the sister claimed that I sneaked in drugs. Can you believe that? Someone else said the way they go about their drugs nowadays reminds him of the German Democratic Republic which was a former soviet satellite state located in east Germany. I'm not surprised that Seroquel finds it's use in the US army. I don't know if it is really true because I found it on the internet but having had that experience it makes sense. Similar to how Nazi soldiers were drugged up. An emotionless being would make an efficient killer machine because you lose that one thing that makes you hesitant.
Going back to no longer taking the drug cold turkey was the worst day in my life. It felt like ten times of what I usually have to deal with when it comes to depression. I wanted to kill myself so badly like it was a passion. It is pretty weird that a drug that is supposed to prevent that has such extreme withdrawal symptoms. They also claimed that this is because of my depression and not because of side effects of the drug. They lied again. There even were what looked like a bunch 5 year old kids in that asylum. Why would you drug a 5 year old whose brain hasn't fully developed. These people are insane and a danger to everyone.
There was also one mentally ill patient who was clearly ill and not just faking it like some people to get benefits who they used as a guinea pig. Even under drugs he could not open & close a door properly under 2 minutes. I overheard a conversation where they said that they have a new drug for him. He told us on meeting day that he was in that place for more than 10 years. I noticed my first psychotherapist was outside of that asylum and I remember asking her why. She was not fond of certain things like her boss but I can now fully understand why. I also was told that I need to take that drug my entire life on a low dose that just confirms to me that this is just one big painkiller to make money with. They do stop working at some point and I do not want to imagine what it feels like to be in the shoes of somebody who took Seroquel for many years. I have gained some weight just from taking that drug for 2 weeks and I was sleepy all the time when I took the drug. I also remember that they said when I didn't want to take them anymore that they can't force me. I believe that means people in the past were forced to eat that junk.
That one therapist wanted to know nothing of what I wanted to say to her, she only believed what they written down in a book about my illness. She rather believes in that than someone who actually had to deal with this illness for most of his life. These people did not see me as a human being but rather a broken machine that needs to be repaired and the books were sort of a manual on how to repair that machine. But they are mistaken because to this day we know very little about schizophrenia and other mental illnesses. For all we know depression could actually be some kind of protective mechanism. But to them everything that does not function like a well oiled cog in the capitalist machine is broken and needs fixing. This is not normal how we go about the mentally ill, this is very wrong.
I guess that covers all relevant parts.
Now I want to draw a line to something I was drawn to when I was younger and still am. The Columbine Massacre is pretty well known and so are the abundance of other shootings involving schools in the United States of America. I believe there is no one cause like Micheal Moore believes but I do believe that those drugs played a major role. Judging from my own mental illness I would say that bullying and violent video games are one of the smaller parts that contributed to Columbine. I'm not gonna go into full detail but when I say violent video games I mean they might be dangerous to people with a mental illness like schizophrenia. Similar to how I became obsessed with the Freemasons when I found out about them, the nature of violence displayed in those games like Max Payne might have a major impact in forming those typical fantasies of violence seen in some people with schizophrenia.
The health care system in the US is completely broken and much worse compared to other countries. You hear a lot of horror stories about Prozac and similar drugs. I think doctors are deeply involved in this and complicit with this whole thing but not in the way you think. Robert S. Mendelsohn put it best and I quote "the reason doctors are so dangerous is that they believe in what they are doing". I agree with Moore when he said that this is a criminal act and it has been going on behind curtains for way too long. Something needs to be done.
I'm almost undoubtful that Dylan Klebold could have been saved if he had gotten therapy but the way the school and health care system works and parents have their own jobs they have to deal with, pushes these people into isolation with their problems and in worst case it dwells with like minded. Erric Harris is to Dylon Klebold what the incel community is to incels but on a much greater scale. A place to train hatred with like minded instead of getting the much needed therapy these people need.
That is all I can say, I could ramble more about certain things but all I wanted is to get my backstory out and everyone else can draw conclusions for themselves.