KingCobraJFS

[RAPEMAN]

Pretty much. Especially when you've burned your brains before forty.

[AdorableOtter]

+ overweight but not obese
+ actually a woman
+ has all the body parts intact
+ (most likely) not a felon
+ doesn't complain about how Null doxxed her nudes
+ kinda looks like Marzgirl which is a plus if you're into that sort of stuff

That's a solid 8~9 mutant wife material. You really should behold Cyrax's first girlfriend to understand the industrial standard for this particular sphere.

SpoilerShow

[Kugelfisch]

I was well too amused about this happening to report on it!
Cobes has been doing nothing but getting smashed and engage in the same rambling loops for a while. This insane cunt actually visiting him is hilarious!
Compare his mood to the day before:



Gloating and smugness on a a scale-breaking level!
Got his dick wet for the first time in ages, is getting drunk, likely high as well and absolutely rules his troll's lives, toobs!

Funniest thing I've seen this year, because absolutely everyone knew he'd be fucking sick of her the very next morning.

[rabidtictac]

Post-nut clarity is a real son of a bitch, isn't it boyo?

Best argument in favor of never allowing yourself to get to that point of pure desperation.

[Kugelfisch]

Yup, that's exactly it and the comments talk about that a lot.
Some dude put it best in the comments of the video about their first day. He said: "Today he broke the 'six year' dryspell and has a big win. But tomorrow, he's going to have to wake up to her and he will absolutely hate every minute of her being around."

The "six year" dryspell is a common loop of Cobra. It's actually eight years but he's so used to repeat the same shit that ever since he's been hitting duster it became a compulsion.
A lot like how he states "not a sponsor" after naming a brand and such.

I've got to say, I was very ignorant about Cobes back when this thread started. You could try to catch up by watching some docs about him but I find the better way is the Snakebones podcast by Seizure Robot 5000.

This is the best introduction, really:


Utterly hilarious, no faggot sperg shit and a best off rundown for why anyone would care about the world's most badass sexy goth!

No background knowledge required. Cobra also isn't your typical lolcow. He's not like Cyraxx or The Gunt or even CWC. He's not someone you'll hate or feel worse off for knowing.

[Kugelfisch]

Moved the topic here. It fits better, despite the first post being shit.

[ebin namefag]

What is the DHI consensus on Cobe's dad?

[Kugelfisch]

An untapped lolcow source. Tardfucker, faggot and sex pest that tries to fuck his young art students.
It's no wonder Jawsh fell off the wagon big time. The fact he lets our boy hang with Methica, giving him benzos and going with him totally blitzed to soda bars is all you need to know about Clunt.

He's less concerned about Cobes doing well than Cobes is about Puff having frozen to death.

[ebin namefag]

He's less concerned about Cobes doing well than Cobes is about Puff having frozen to death.

Is he trying to wash his hands of the affair or did he never give a shit to begin with?

[Kugelfisch]

He's less concerned about Cobes doing well than Cobes is about Puff having frozen to death.

Is he trying to wash his hands of the affair or did he never give a shit to begin with?

Cobra about Puff? He claims he took him outside to smoke and the lizard ran away. He supposedly looked for it and figured it would just bury itself underground over the winter and will return when it gets warmer.

Many believe that to be a lie and that he just drunkenly stepped on it or something. Who really knows.
He hasn't mentioned Puff for a while.