I come back now and see this gem on the plebbit as a tantalizing preview:
What ho! So it turns out that whole movie idea was hinging on the work of one person. Who can't now.
So of course, that's the whole reason the movie can't be made. I can't even fathom a good response...
Because there isn't time!
So many questions!
Has Noah discovered hygiene in his long absence? Does he even care about turning off video comments anymore?
Will he reveal the answer to why Iron Bull is no longer front and center in his woman's life? Does he live in a commune Discord with all his other ex-forum runaways?
Will Spoony pitch a monster fit and start breaking more cups and mugs than his characters onscreen? Will he greedily keep more money from JewRapio's corpse? Is Cuckson still tired?
Once again, boys and girls, it appears to be time...for...
Spoony's Panhandling Stream Roundup
[SOCIAL JUSTICE MEANS GETTING MY TWITTER BACK Edition]
I tally it so you don't have to. All dollar amounts in USD, because burgerland = #1. Convert as necessary for your country.
- Total time: 2:20:36
Total haul: $258.16
Begging Efficiency Per Hour (BEPH): $110.17. [The long hiatus away means the autists have been saving up their money, and gleefully sacrifice it at Spoony's altar. Some of the more especially retarded repeatedly ask how much they need to throw away at him. In the vain, foolish hopes that he'll do videos again.]
Cuckson Sightings: Sheriff Cuckson, who had been spending his time herding up trannies, has been taking advantage of the fresh air and sunshine on Brokeback Mountain. Refreshed, he and Hydrogen Bomb Andy immediately respond quickly to the call of their King.
Cuckson is at his cringiest 'best' here. It seems like he goes extra hard in this one to try and become Spoony's Real Mother:
- Decides where and when Spoony's vlogs will take place.
- Begs Boss to stream Batman Season 2 when it ready for him to roll out on it.
- Soothes his gentle child that s rankings don't really matter when he starts to get fussy. He's proud of his little man just for trying.
- Lays down the frontier justice on a chatman who distrusts the pig NPC one too many times.
- Makes references so clever even he can't remember them right.
- Enforces the 'no CA' rule with zeal and vigilance. "Ey, I'm the one wielding the hammer tonight, and it is a holy hammer. Don't blame the player, don't blame the mod, blame your own sins."
- Numb to the whole business about 'age of consent;' although he totally understands the pedo culture in Nippon.
Quotes and Other Items of Note
[Best snippets, in chronological time order.]
- We are LIVE back in the Room that Time Forgot! (Apparently sleep was not one of the things he decided to focus on his sabbatical. He looks likes a tired prostitute).
Someone says hi from Venezuela. Spoony weakly answers back hi from America.
- Spoony says no one will believe this, but he knows virtually nothing. ... About Cuphead.
Except that it is a misery simulator. And if he's going to play it, we should be able to witness his meltdown publicly. (Always giving the fans what they want to see).
- Spoony was going to play Salt and Sanctuary … but says someone told him it was just Dark Souls 2. And he don't want no more of that.
- Spoony unhappily decides to put on his headphones and "give this a try."
Chat acts like he's their long lost father--'moranmannyI': "don't need sleep spoony is streaming =w="
- Spoony begins, at 2:45, by saying he can't understand why the game has the visual look it has. Seriously.
- $5.79 quote from 'Anders'--"Good morning from Sweden!"
(Spoony cheerfully thanks him for his 'Sweden dollars.')
- 4:48. Sheriff Cuckson blasts his way back into Spoony's life.
- $2.00 quote from 'The Free Man--"You're alive! Long time no see. Beat Persona yet?"
(Spoony says he did, if you're referring to the latest one. "I have a lot of issues with that game.")
- $1.99 quote from 'Malice430'--"Welcome back SPOONY! Where ya been?"
("Under a rock," Spoony answers.)
- $10.00 quote from 'Cyclops Parker'--"Thanks for not being a coward and saying the Real Truth about Ghost in the Shell"
(Spoony says there's no cowardice in not liking it. "The movie is terrible.")
- While Cuckson desperately tries to get Master to remember the tutorial from two minutes ago, Spoony dies to a potato. Chat wonders when marriage Is going o happen to April; which Ghost in the Shell he was reffering to.
- $5.00 quote from 'Leon Trotsky'--"I want another hour long spoony talks shit about something everybody likes video"
(Spoony ignores, carefully reads his slave's instructions on how to properly play.)
- $5.00 quote from 'Coty Demster'--"Hey, now that shroud of the avatar has been released will you play it? You have a pretty cool Easter egg in it"
(Spoony also completely ignores).
- Cuckson tries to passively aggressively worm his way into a two player mode: "April'd have fun with it, bring her in, it'd be hilarious."
- Twenty minutes in, Spoony gets more frustrated, blaming the controls, forgetting buttons, no health bar for bosses, and being surprised that coins hurt him.
Cuckson keeps spamming obvious observations, cheerleading, and backseating game advice.
- 26:23. Spoony starts growling. Someone asks what Mike Machaud is like. "Quit trying to troll me with whatever happened at Channel Awesome," he replies. "I've nothing to say about it…Absolutely nothing."
- $4.86 quote from 'Allard'--"An (admittedly) insignificant token of gratitude for all the entertainment you gave me."
(Spoony responds with pained screams. "I need to buy some more crazy meds.")
- $10.00 quote from 'Ed Matuskey'--"Angry Joe and Other Joe almost came to blows over this game, heh--good luck!"
(Spoony apathetically wonders why anyone would come to blows over this.)
- Jackson's getting sloppy, allowing comments like this from 'masterzombie161': "quick question, will there be a new review for "year of spoony?"
Some others ask serious questions--like if he's abandoned his website for good. Others just remain morons: "t's rather heartwarming to see how many people are gradually coming on if only to wish Spoony well."
Spoony shoots down a chat request for more Persona 5.
- At 39:07, Stoneman Douglas Andy saunters in, and then shuts the hell up because his superior Sheriff is present.
- $15.06 quote from 'T Horrocks'--"Try not to get banned from twitter again"
Spoony says he'll try. "That was a ride … you don't even know." (Guess that means we won't either.)
- Trotsky gives another $2.00 because "its Karl Marx's birthday." Meanwhile, 'Jesse' gives his third $2.00 donation, desperately hoping for a friend who likes his puerile jokes.
Spoony doesn't reply; buys the Lobber.
- $3.91 quote from 'AxelXGabriel'--"Hey Spoony? You gunna play/stream God of War (2018)?"
(He will not, as he doesn't have the game, and has not heard good things about it besides.)
Jinson brags about how he still watches Con Bravo 2012 videos.
- Trotsky pathetically spends $2.99 to start a discussion on Infinity War. No one cares.
- 46:27. Spoony gets mad enough to punch a holiday decoration.
This is followed by more death shrieking, and pleading.
- $5.00 quote from 'blackraptor311'--"Really enjoyed your stream Torment: Tides of Numenera. Any chance you will stream more of it in the future?"
(Spoony doesn't believe he really enjoyed the stream. "I was not blown away by that game…didn't give it much of a chance, but it wasn't at all what I was expecting.")
- $2.00 quote from 'Nelson's TAS and Game Archive'--"If you bring back Rebuary I'll personally succ you."
Cuckson pushes Batman some more, saying it'll be a simple cooldown.
- Spoony flatly states Reb Brown month probably won't come back. "There's a lot more stuff he's been in, but nothing of note." Says he was overestimating how much there was. "There's one other thing--but I don't know about it yet."
Cuckson backs him up with his own official statement.
- $10.00 quote from 'Oreyee'--"Is there any place I can find your old written reviews? On your website or anything?"
(Spoony shouts profanity at a pair of clouds and makes a weird sound).
- Between his duties enforcing the no CA discussion rule, the Cucknadian slaveboy gets nervous for his hero: "I'll say this, man. We don't need to see you rage. We're just happy to see you back and streaming and up."
- After an hour, Spoony's really wound up now, alternating between bitter griping, heavy sighing, and screaming.
Goes on a mini rant on FTL: "You win if the game lets you. And you won't."
- Few more infiltrators now slipping in. Shadow_Link: "I'd like to see spoony play getting over it"
Noah cynically boasts at some invisible person failing to troll him by just saying TRUMP.
- 1:08:16. After holding his head for half a minute, Spoony's getting mad for real you guyz.
"This is when I start falling eerily silent. Not 'cause I got nothin to say--cause I got way too much…"
- People in chat are starting to join Cuckson in asking everyone stop making video requests and just "let him play in piece."
(If I try to think about that one too hard, my brain will explode.)
- 1:17:13. Someone brought up the Man in the Raping Hat! Spoony says that chatman's a real tough guy, trying to bring it up just to hurt his feelings.
- Spoony keeps going trying to shame the person if they think they're a good person for asking. He's says there's no reason for hurting them what does it say about you, blah blah blah.
- Noah is now tired of the game. When asked, he does't mind the trolls, he 'marvels' at them. "It's not that they hurt me. It's that why they think that's fun." Chat supports him like he's Evita.
- 1:19:15. Cuckson drops the pretense and tells Spoony it's now time to move to a new game and feel good.
- Spoony realizes he forgot something he should've said to that guy earlier. "You would NEVER say that to my face. Really think that's key. And you know that." Calls it a coward move.
- After repeatedly failing, Spoony then goes on a mini-rant about how using cheats proves nothing for no reason.
(Apparently it's OK for contests involving prizes. But not for pure griefing).
Somehow this also relates to trolls or something.
- $10.00 quote from 'George Usilton Jr'--"Spoony, your the Mel Brooks of YouTube to me. It doesn't matter what anyone says, your always fun to watch"
- Spoony repeats he has nothing to say about Channel Awesome.
His boy toy threatens to PUT PEOPLE IN TIME OUT if they keep pressing the issue.
- Infiltrators oblige and ask about if Trump should get the Nobel Peace Prize for Korea.
Spoony asks if they need to shut down the chat room. "I don't want…people to get ready for war when they come to my chat room. I want this to be fun. Not a place where people come for a fight."
His eunuch promises it will be OK.
- Noah feels bad--not for losing--but because he isn't learning from his own mistakes.
Electroshock Andy keeps trying to act cool with his questions.
- Noah says, YET AGAIN, that he has no rage or dirt with Channel Awesome.
Sheriff Cuckson finally starts putting the spurs to the ignorant outlaws: "Spoony, don't worry about that. I'm here with the chat, just focus on the game and on getting this through. Me and andy got your back modding; its what we we're here for."
WARNING: Massive Bullshit Alert
"I have nothing bad to say about anybody. When you get as old as I am, you'll start to learn the value of not burning any more bridges. And I've done more than my fair share of that."
- After that brief interlude, Spoony goes back to sputtering and cursing. And condescending replies to chat about how he hasn't played a suggested game. "I don't get out much…so to speak."
Once again, he ominously hints that there's been 'issues.'
- Spoony finally beats the plant boss, but has trouble with the dessert boss. Jackson wants him to take a break, of course.
It eventually gets too hard for him--even with cringey chat encouragement, so he quits game at 1:46:01.
But wait! We're not done!
Noah still streams for another 40 minutes.(!)
Get ready for OOOOVEEEERTIIIIME!!!!
- First he sits and mumbles along with chat.
Then admits "I'm not nearly drunk enough for this, yet."
- He teases a game he would have chosen, but graciously allows himself to hear other suggestions. "I have a feeling I'm not going to like them."
Sure enough, he shoots down options left and right.
- not wanting to be stressed out like this one
- games that involve reading
- games that make him tired
- Someone in chat asks if he lost weight. He refuses to admit it.
He also warns the audience that they won't like Undertale if he decides to download and play it.
Jinson keeps asks for Batman like a two year old.
- Spoony eventually gets to talking about Persona 5: "… Fuck Persona 5."
- He says his reasons may get him called SJW or 'cocklord'; but for him the game is "morally reprehensible."
- Has a problem with the females seduction/humiliation or whatever being misleading and pscyhological raping, etc.
- (This moralizing and debating with chat goes on for the last [b[20 fuckingminutes.[/b]
Noah insists it's worth bitching about a fictional fantasy character.
(My favorite part is watching Cuckson struggling--PLEADING--to get Boss to shut up about it and move on.)
- Cuckson finally decides--for chat and Spoony--that enough is enough. "Okay people, we're moving on. Conversation's pulled on too long."
Hilariously, Spoony ignores and keeps going. "If this is unhinged, be glad my hinges are off!"
- Cuckson tells everyone defending it in chat to bring it down a notch so sempai will listen.
Someone asks Spoony what welfare is like. He doesn't take it well.
- $5.00 quote from 'Ghuntz Wazabi'--"Noah, these fools are lost. They're the ones that need to chill and actually come to terms with their humanity."
(Spoony keeps talking about the 'skeezy' game.)
- Chat starts to get mad at its own, as more dare to question Lord Noah. ("I'm not mad," he says flatly. "I'm disappointed.") Others just get tired of it.
- Finally, Noah stops tugging at the butthurt sore he's been picking at, and cynically announces he's going to play a masked violent vigilante.
... At least not leaving without a few parting words about the "moral righteousness of playing characters who are essentially mind raping."
- $5.00 quote from 'AscalonMaster'--"... Even your moderator is getting uneasy."
(Noah keeps comparing his rambling point to playing God. He says chat asked for it, when they started it.)
- Spoony closes by reading negative opinions about him. He doesn't actually respond to any of them; prefers instead to keep going on about pornography.
He says they'll be more for those who don't think he's been brainwashed by April into being a snowflake. (I can't tell if he's genuinely missing the point or not).
- Lastly, Spoony says he'll be back tomorrow. If he hasn't fallen asleep.
Will Noah start a massive bitchfit about the moral and social responsibilities of Batman? Will Cuckson ask for some of Boss's sperm to keep him company on those long nights on the trail?