Tony Schiavone's SPSR Archive

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Kugelfisch
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Tony Schiavone's SPSR Archive

Post by Kugelfisch » Fri May 18, 2018 9:46 pm

This thread is for archival purposes only. If I've missed an older roundup, PM and tell me that I'm a faggot and point me to it.
The ball is wild!

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Tony Schiavone
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Re: Test

Post by Tony Schiavone » Fri May 18, 2018 9:53 pm

Not quite 300, but close. For some reason my Notification said it was "Quadrilateral Cowboy", but it ended up going straight to DOOM, so whatever.

Spoony's Panhandling Stream Roundup [DOOM Edition]

I tally it so you don't have to. All dollar amounts in USD, because burgerland = #1. Convert as necessary for your country.


Vital Statistics:
  • Total time: 2:30:08
    Total haul: $246.79
    Begging Efficiency Per Hour (BEPH): $98.63. Just what the doctor ordered to throw at the bad repo men.
  • Cuckson Sightings: Take a while to appear, until 50 minutes in--but boy, does he go on a roll from there. His mod avatar has a purple highlight now, and he sure does feel proud of that. Even skipping through I can see at least one or two posts a minute from him until the end of the session. Like a cross between a group manager and thining he's teh only teacher in a room full of grade school children.

Quotes and Other Items of Note
[Best snippets, in chronological time order.]
  • $2.00 quote: -- "Counter Monkey helps me DM better"
  • $13.13 quote: -- "all the fun kahntent and getting me into D&D"
  • 2nd highest donation: $20.00. From 'Archaic Ginger' quote: -- "Best Wishes"
  • $10.00 quote: -- "Tip for getting the lights on"
  • $100.00 Highest donation! We have a winner! 'Glen Dodds,' who says: ""It's been a decade…your videos have brought me back time and time again…Keep up the good work, Noah""
    [Spoony did actually stop the game at this point to specifically thank him, unlike the others]
  • $5.21. donation. Was a Cucknadian trying to be cute with $6.66 leaf money.
    "can you make Doomguy faces?" [Noah did not]
  • $5.00 -- ""They're getting on you because of Jim's videos. Forget it man."
    [Spoony goes on a rant here at 1:05:20 bout his heroic brother. Someone must've said something about Don Juan to set him off. Short version: It didn't happen because of racism and you ain't insulting us, my brotehr is way so awesome, your opinion doesn't mean a thing, especially when I kick you out, etc., etc.]
  • $5.00 immediately post rant and canned applause from somewhere -- "MIC Drop!"
  • Scotland man sez: "Ignore the drama whores...keep it up"
  • $10.00 for "Man-O-War poster in background"
  • At 1:47:40 another purple appears named Shooter_Andy who Cuckson recognizes. Doesn't stay long. Anyone here know who that is?
  • 1:52:20 No more game. Spoony takes off headset. Still 40 mins to go through.
  • $10.00 -- "Well if this is end of stream, thanks for the entertainment"
  • 1:59:37. [Spoony explains bunkers and aliens via a USB drive]
  • $2.00 -- "I'm broke but I'm entertained so have some money"
  • $5.00 asks: "What are your thoughts on cosplayers?" [Spoony ignores, keeps rambling about touching sick people and genomes.]
  • At 2:29:17, Jackson steps in like he's the night manager at a Hospice, to bring in old Noah from being tuckered out. "Alright Spoony, now's probably the time to go relax and pick out your next game and thanks for going further with this stream like this."
    Whether due to his influence or not, stream ends shortly after.
...and still: Spoony did nothing.

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Tony Schiavone
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Re: Test

Post by Tony Schiavone » Fri May 18, 2018 9:53 pm

Left early for Thanksgiving early and missed opportunity to comment on it Had a lot of eating to do.
Saw that no one else had done a full analysis. Has it already been another month?

It’s the review no one asked for!!
It’s…


Spoony's Panhandling Stream Roundup

[IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FAR FUTURE, THERE IS ONLY SPOONY Edition]

I tally it so you don't have to. All dollar amounts in USD, because burgerland = #1. Convert as necessary for your country.


Vital Statistics:

  • Total time: 40:17
    Total haul: $14.84
    Begging Efficiency Per Hour (BEPH): $22.10. [And someone said he made fifty bucks on here??? Hahaha ha! Quite the fall from last month. That’s barely enough for bus fare! You can see in his eyes visibly wishing he could start shaking down more butts to demand more money, but he’s too tired and sad to muster up the effort. As usual.]
  • Cuckson Sightings: Absolutely zero Cuckson--or any of the other Privileged Purples--found throughout the whole stream. The chat could apparently smell it, as there was more anarchy and rebellion than would have otherwise been allowed…see below.

Quotes and Other Items of Note
[Best snippets, in chronological time order.]

  • 4:24 -- Noah comments on himself that his mic isn't working. Audience cheers anyway.
  • 5:24 -- Spoony admits he's streaming the game again because he has been having a lot of panic issues and needs to remember how to work again.
  • $7.84, Highest donation. (Yes that’s sad.) Quote -- "Hope you finish the story with Sepiroth…I was honestly interested." [Spoony replies with ‘hoping’ he will be alive another year]
  • $5.00 quote -- "You're my hero, Spoony!" [Spoony then replies to the chat comment directly below it, never acknowledges the one actually paying him.]
  • Someone tells him to get to fucking work, that they "won't let him waste away."
    Another says to read his Twitter because he's been "explaining his predicament quite extensively there."
  • Lack of Cuckson is obvious. ‘RIP Charles Manson’ posts, rape jokes, and calling him out on his lack of work slipping through, unchecked by THE GUARDIAN OF NOAH.
  • PsTwoKnight: "I usually abhor live streams, but if Spoony can get me to watch one, there's hope yet."
  • A few people openly pissing on Noah now. Spoony finishes the battle, but looks the unhappiest at getting a Mission Complete as anyone I've ever seen. Dejectedly declares that he could've had FIVE out of five stars, dammit dammit!!
  • While clearly pissed and acting pissy over his lack of executing complete perfectionism, Spoony tells chat they can make their own reviews and will come back on a different game when he's much less pissed later.

EDIT: Forgot to explain something .... Why is BEPH important?

Your typical street panhandler makes something, on the average, close to US $25.00 per day. So for a known addict like this one, that number serves as the blended benchmark for how little or much he can make opposed to a truly homeless person on the street.

The higher the BEPH number, the better quality substances he can afford and the longer he can stave off inevitability. The lower the number, the sooner that box with stuff still unpacked in the closet might soon be his new apartment.
...and still: Spoony did nothing.

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Tony Schiavone
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Re: Test

Post by Tony Schiavone » Fri May 18, 2018 9:54 pm

Once again, boys and girls, it appears to be time...for...

Spoony's Panhandling Stream Roundup

[MY FANS ARE THE REAL SCARY ZOMBIES Edition]

I tally it so you don't have to. All dollar amounts in USD, because burgerland = #1. Convert as necessary for your country.

Vital Statistics:
  • Total time: 2:40:17
    Total haul: $173.10
    Begging Efficiency Per Hour (BEPH): $64.64. [Expected, as his fans take their Christmas money and checks from grandma and gratefully offer it at the altar of Spoony. While donations were plentiful, none were higher than $20.]
  • Cuckson Sightings: None, although we did have an Emir!! Some people on here think Cuckson was masquerading as 'The Free Man' but I don't think so, because all those amounts donated were in US, not Cansdian. Also, why would he give up an opportunity to be king and lord of all the chat?

    Shooter_Andy was the only Privileged Purple; whoever he is. He comes in halfway through but then doesn't shut up trying to be 'funny' and 'part of the entertainment.' Is that Cuckson? Cuckson's apprentice?

    Can we find out who he is? He gives off a serious lulz potential.

Quotes and Other Items of Note
[Best snippets, in chronological time order.]
  • (Donations start coming in before the stream even frigging starts.)
  • $2.00 quote from 'The Free Man'-- "Gonna VR this one?" [Spoony actually replies and says--not surprisingly--"No."]
  • Lots of New Year's lapping. Spoony actually thanks the first several for donations, but then demands they "talk amongst yourselves" for a few minutes as game finally starts. Idiots in chat of course love it.
  • Spoony: "It's a Wyatt family Christmas." If anyone looks like an unwashed ugly mountain backwoods inbred right now, it is Noah.
  • $5.00 quote from 'Jeremy Roman'--""May it be a better year for all of us!" [Spoony replies that it should be better, that it's a "low bar but we could clear under it." It's like he's trying to warn people at this point.]
  • Spoony goes back to mostly not thanking people and ignoring comments; prefers instead to quote The Room to CGI women on the screen.
  • $3.99 quote from 'AxelXGabrel'--"What's your history/opinion of past Resident Evil games?" [Spoony likes 4 and 5, because he got achievements in them.)
  • $20.00 quote from 'The Free Man'--"Here's 20 bucks for Tales of Berseria." [Spoony naturally ignores].
  • $20.00 quote from 'Oreyee'--"Your Counter Monkey vids have made my game worth running, can't wait to see more!" [Cannot confirm if this guy has been in a coma for two years since last Counter Monkey. Spoony, of course, is talking about smoking leather jerky.]
  • Spoony: "You forget I am pretty much Southern … Yes, Arizona counts as Southern." (I'm at a loss for words.)
    Chat decides it will be southern for a while too.
  • $5.00 from 'Emir Sejdik.' EMIR SPOTTED!!! All he has to say is " :D Cool!", without any context, continuing his tradition of making no sense to anyone but himself.
  • Speed of donations finally start to slow down--this was only roughly the first 30 minutes.
  • $2.00 from 'Sam.' This is Sam's second donation desperately trying to get Spoony to recognize how much he loved the Last Jedi video. It sadly goes unanswered.
  • Chat hopes someone will donate several hundred dollars so Spoony will be able to play this game in VR.
  • $2.00 quote from 'Sam'--"BOOOOOO! Bad joke!" [Sam finally gets recognition. Spoony:" Ah Sam it's a bad joke, but you rewarded me. What am I to do?"]
  • $2.00 from 'The Brotherhood of Gaming.' (Anyone know these sad sacks? I see them give and desperately lapdance every stream.)
  • Several users are starting to give a second and even third donation. I guess they didn't get a friend for Christmas.
  • You know the stream is getting to the end when you see Spoony getting frustrated and complaining about how much work he'll have to do (in the level). Donations coming in faster again.
  • $2.00 quote from 'The Brotherhood of Gaming' (on their third donation, no less) -- "U should have saw my stream on this part priceless" [Let the combo begging begin. Spoony would actually be right to ignore them here, if that wasn't his default setting.]
  • $5.00 quote from 'Jasuchin Faron'--"So I'm running a Shadowrun game, and my players are basically declaring war on a crime boss Johnson. About how fucked are they?" [Spoony replies by thanking someone else. Chat ends up answering].
  • Spoony stops playing after feeling fatigued, on edge, and the game getting hard. But he says he enjoys it and thought it would be scarier, more hillbillies in woods jump scares. He's waiting for one with clowns and only 20% joking. Because the t-virus has been done to death and the franchise needs something new and fresh (other than zombies apparently).

EDIT: Comments have not, repeat not, been disabled currently for this video. If any are interested.
...and still: Spoony did nothing.

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Tony Schiavone
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Re: Test

Post by Tony Schiavone » Fri May 18, 2018 9:55 pm

Ha! You thought four hours was too much for anyone crazy enough to sit through a crazier man's public cry for help livestream? Think again!

Once again, boys and girls, it appears to be time...for...

Spoony's Panhandling Stream Roundup

[WITHOUT TWITTER SPACE NO ONE CAN HEAR ME SCREAM Edition]

I tally it so you don't have to. All dollar amounts in USD, because burgerland = #1. Convert as necessary for your country.

Vital Statistics:
  • Total time: 4:08:49
    Total haul: $272.97
    Begging Efficiency Per Hour (BEPH): $65.82. [Post-Twitter pity party. Numbers helped by a $50 donation and five users trying to outdo themselves in a dumb game of 'make Spoony notice me.']
  • Cuckson Sightings: Not at first. It's Shooter_Andy's time to go postal! Thank you guys who finally explained who this nutcase is--his presence as a Privileged Purple was a real mystery for a while. Guess he's taking over being Cuckson, especially in the "Not Shutting Up" and "Trying to be #1 Comedian Sidekick" departments.

    Cuckson later shows up at 2:57:10. He's sorry for being late, but immediately jumps right in being Cuckson. Andy's posting frequency immediately dovetails down, as he dutifully hands the crown back over to the higher authority dicksucker.

Quotes and Other Items of Note
[Best snippets, in chronological time order.]
  • Spoony begins at 0:45 complaining about his Twitter toy being taking away. Has "no clue why" and "they won't tell me."
  • Hey, good news, everyone! He appealed (and apparently you only get one) and Twitter said no!
    He dismissively said Twitter vaguely told him wait s because of it promoting violence. "There's fucking Nazis out there," he claims, "but I'm the problem."
  • He says making a new account is against the rules but it "doesn't stop anybody." May have to start going on Facebook, which he really tries to stay away from.
  • He thinks of it as a positive; doesn't claim to have spare accounts. 'Ismallball' asks if he is a Nazi. Surprisingly isn't banned; gets a joke in about their fashion sense instead. (So you're saying he'd otherwise be interested?)
  • 2:29 Spoony shouts out to Mike Dodd, 'birdman.' (?) "He's had a rough time..real trooper…been through more than me." (Is this a tranny?) Noah wonders if Mike Dodd will be the thing to get him out of the house.
  • Spoony descibes how he's been as "complicated." "I've got a plan I guess…trying to get my shit together…not simple."
    He then proceeds to immediately kick off the plan by playing a video game for four hours.
  • $27.73 quote from 'Neo Rambler'--"Have a drink on me, old chum!" (Spoony says he will definitely take the drink, whatever Neo chooses.)
  • Apparently Mike Dodd lost his leg. Spoony half-jokingly asks why he can't get it back, making lots of other one-legged jokes. (it's not being mean or sociopathic if its "comedy," guyz!)
  • Brotherhood of Gaming dutifully show up to suck Noah's cock with a $2.00 donation, right on schedule.
  • Spoony still shakes his head at mean ol' Twitter, can't believe they thought he was "harrasing people."
  • Spoony thinks now it might have been people going back 7 years in his Twit history, or robots. One of those found the thing to frame him. Also warns the chat/audience that others pretending to be him, are not him.
  • $26.94, from two guys almost at once. Spoony calls them some reference--Garmock and Jilad--I've never fucking heard of.
    'Zamrock'--"Never clicked a notification so fast in my life, no worries Spoon, Twitter isn't required to get the fans here."
  • $6.22 quote from 'Travis Tee': "Spoony, is this game any good?" (Spoony talks about his dirty house, inspired by what he sees in the game)
  • 1:11:11 Spoony spends over five minutes panic attacking and ranting about his fear of millipedes crawling up his dick. Unsympathetic to his plight, 'D20asmr' spends a couple of donations trying to get him to answer stupid questions.
  • $5.00 quote from 'Amanda Jas'--"The information on how to deal with millipede infections in one's urethra is in the datalogs." (Spoony just keeps stabbing at a mosquito)
  • D20asmr spends another $10 desperately trying to get noticed. He fails.
  • 'Clifton Knight' gives $20. This guy gets it...in the sense that he just donates the money without comment, knowing that it is a waste of time to write anything.
  • $2 more from D20asmr. Spoony finally says, in a hilariously dejected voice, "Thank you, D20." As if even he is tired of this guy and is reluctantly acknowledging him to make him go away.
  • D20 learns his lesson, posts another $1 of thirst without comment. Spoony finally cheers the free money.
  • The same four people have been throwing their money at him for a while now. These people would make great gambling addicts.
  • $50 from 'jusb22'. HIGHEST DONATION We have a winner!!! And it gets barely an acknowledgement from Lord Noah, of course.
  • D20 going for some kind of pathetic record. Another $2. "somebody stop me!" he dares the chat.
  • Now 'Clifford Pemberton' wants to multi-donate get sempai to notice him. $5.54 in total. Spoony grumbles a thank you.
  • $1.76 (converted from 100 Russian Rubles) quote from 'Katerina Kubatina'--"for the pleasure of your company" Chat is immediately thirsty.
  • $6.93 quote from 'T Gore'--"When are you going to review Ultima Escape from Mount Drash?" (Spoony doesn't have an answer, but says it a good question).
  • 4:01:34 Cuckson bans a guy for saying Miles would vote for Joe Arpaio (who is running for U.S. Senate), then bravely tells the banned guy to get jokes that are funny once he can't respond anymore.
    Spoony thinks that guy must be messed up with nothing better to do.
  • 4:06:55 Cuckson thanks Boss for streaming. "If you feel like this game's been too much of a drag though, we'll watch others from ya."
  • Spoony insists it's not a drag but can't put his finger on it. He then decides though that it’s a good time for a break and a nap and food. "As you can tell my schedule's kind of vampiric."
  • Spoony might play something else when he has more energy. Cuckson wishes him a good nap. Spoony, for one final time, complains he dindu nuffin to be suspended from Twitter.
...and still: Spoony did nothing.

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Tony Schiavone
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Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2017 2:11 pm

Re: Test

Post by Tony Schiavone » Fri May 18, 2018 9:55 pm

Trapped in a world he never belonged! Banned from Twitter for a crime he didn't commit! Forced to deal with the dregs of humanity as his only source to survive!
What horrors await Noah Antilwer as he is forced to confront this brave new world of actual human interaction?

Once again, boys and girls, it appears to be time...for...

Spoony's Panhandling Stream Roundup

[IN LOVING MEMORY OF SHOTGUN Edition]

I tally it so you don't have to. All dollar amounts in USD, because burgerland = #1. Convert as necessary for your country.

Vital Statistics:
  • Total time: 1:13:25
    Total haul: $68.22
    Begging Efficiency Per Hour (BEPH): $64.64. [Decent enough to make Justin feel proud of what his corpse could contribute to the pockets of his "dearest friend." Spoony had better hope for some more funerals in the future though; it may start to get harder for his suckers to dig further into their disability money if he actually starts doing this more frequently.]
  • Cuckson Sightings: Absent. Indeed, there weren't even any Privileged Purples until almost halfway through the stream--as evidenced by a few sniper posters able to sneak some occasional shots in. Some white knights in chat tried to calm them down, but of course were powerless to stop them.

    Genocide Andy finally showed up at 28:10. But it's pretty clearly Sheriff Cuckson is the only Force of Law and Order in Spoonytown, as way too much slips past Andy to make it on screen and annoy Lord Noah.

Quotes and Other Items of Note
[Best snippets, in chronological time order.]
  • Spoony begins with a classic insult right to his audience: ""Yeah I do suck--but, well, you're watching me suck...so what does that say about you?"
  • Spoony then says that ordinarily he would NEVER do Final Fantasy 9, as he never played before and had no interest in it. Hates it for an entirely stupid and childish reason (his words) because of the art style.
  • $4.06 quote from 'Ravanah Gaming'--"SPOONY IS BACK!" (Lots of deluded people on here still thinking this is part of some comeback or that he just took a brief hiatus. Of course they bring their naive video requests with them to be ignored.)
  • Because Spoony hates it and is supposed to feel bad that he hates it, he's going to ask chat for "help" (i.e. I don't want to do any prep or research beforehand...Guyz help me so I can yell at you in proper form for helping me later!). Mentions Persona 4 for the zillionth time as a "good" game that he'd rather be playing.
  • 4:00 Finally mentions the reason he's graciously willing to suffer through this; as a tribute to the fallen an hero and if "I go further into it I'll start crying." "So this is for you man."
  • Stream finally starts. Chat professes their love to a man they haven't met and probably never watched. Spoony immediately starts complaining about the children's card game he has to do (that isn't mandatory to the game at all).
  • Spoony says he likes Final Fantasy 12, "got a bad rap," and "by the way Justin liked 12--so you hate on me, you hate on him as well. And I won't have that today." (Way to shield yourself behind a dead man, Noah)
  • $2.00 quote from Decius Aemilius'--"I always enjoy your livestreams, keep it up."
  • Spoony, the computer science major, has no idea how to change the background color in the chat window to make it less opaque.
  • $2.00 quote from Top Hat'--"Question Spoony does FF IX have fan service?" (Spoony comments how the fat knight looks like Steve Bannon; later names him 'Balsweat')
  • Infiltrators in chat getting more brave. One ('nemexcis') posts a giant block of ASCII text that says "SPOONY TRUMPE." Goes unpunished.
  • Spoony rants about how dueling minigame to impress the Queen sucks and how he's starting to do terrible at it. More TRUMPE posting.
  • Shooter Andy shows up and proceeds to spray himself everywhere as usual. Some trolls still brave enough to stick around and test the waters.
  • HIGHEST DONATION. $24.88 quote from T Gore'--"This game is crap." (Spoony thanks him for 'enabling him').
  • 'Matthew Dempsey' in chat posts: "happy jumpey splat time." Isn't deleted. (Andy's more interested in hearing himself talk, I guess.)
  • 50:07. It takes a string of black racial epithets to make Andy finally ban someone. Spoony tells him he's doing good work; Andy passes out from ectasy.
  • $5.00 from EMIR
  • 55:01. Spoony gets mad at a Harambe joke. Mocks how timely it is and compares it to someone who still chants for CM Punk "only way more out of touch." Despite Noah's words, the post doesn't disappear.
  • 55:50. "Arpio/Antwiler 2020, free bullets for immigrants." (Sadly deleted.)
  • $5.00 quote from 'oracledantex'--"Out of curiousity, what made you decide to play this crazy game again?" (Spoony says he's not playing it again, this is the first time basically)
  • 57:27. Same dude from before asks if Spoony will vote for Arpaio. (I guess Andy doesn't know how to ban?) Spoony says "if you're gonna make jokes about my brother... Like, I don't know why you’re talking to me, talk to him. I'll put you in touch with him."
    (WAIT ... REALLY?! CAN WE, CAN WE?!?)
  • 1:00:14 Spoony says he has "very important business to take care of soon" and will have to end it, then proceeds to complain about battle mechanics for 10 minutes.
  • $1.62 quote from 'Werewolf Jones'--"Your Patreon Supporters Need A Message." (Spoony ignores, talks about the butt on a bat creature.)
  • $1.62 quote from 'LostDais'--"Really needed a distraction while I waited for Monster Hunter World. Thanks Spoony."
    (Rather than comment on how fucking absolutely pathetic that is, Spoony waxes poetic about how his feeling for Monster Hunter are complicated, since Justin and he played that game all the time, and now he can't bring himself to play Monster Hunter anymore.)
  • Spoony continues by saying he feels he gets really sentimental, because he when he plays games online he only plays with friends, and doesn't have many friends… (voice trails off)
  • Chat sends hugs. Spoony says that there's friends, that you can hang out with, and there's he can't explain it. (He does finally look like he's fighting back genuine emotion.)
    Switches topics by going on about sky pirates and blue slushies.
  • 1:12:30. Spoony says he has to go fuck his girlfriend. He can go do that and "shame you'll never be able to say the same anyway."
    He'll doesn't know when he'll do next stream but hopefully soon because he can't find to find out if the main character is a guy or girl.
    Lastly, asks if everyone can please subscribe.

I know I've gotten requests for reporting on Spoony politics rants but there weren't any discussed here.

I get the impression that Spoony does have stunted emotional development issues, in how to properly express his feelings and relate socially these kinds of situations. You can see it, in his tremendous awkwardness in trying to explain how he feels about Justin.

Either that, or he's just gotten better at faking it. (Re: Sour Spoony reappearing at the end talking about his sexual exploits.)
...and still: Spoony did nothing.

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Tony Schiavone
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Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2017 2:11 pm

Re: Test

Post by Tony Schiavone » Fri May 18, 2018 9:56 pm

This fake Twitter is truly doing some amazing charity work for the world. All the freak fishes trapped and caught in his net that get exposed. This is better than a honey pot.
Anywhoo...

Still searching for his true self!
Whether it be a bum, a con-artist...or a magical drunken girl with the skirt of Sephiroth!

Once again, boys and girls, it appears to be time...for...

Spoony's Panhandling Stream Roundup

[WISH I HAD A REAL LIFE FEMALE PERSONA Edition]

I tally it so you don't have to. All dollar amounts in USD, because burgerland = #1. Convert as necessary for your country.

Vital Statistics (Part One):
  • Total time: 2:34:59
    Total haul: $159.98
    Begging Efficiency Per Hour (BEPH): $61.93. [Absolutely haram. While it does not have the sympathy prop of his dead "friend" to help donations, this is supposed to be Spoony's favorite series. Also a long haul RPG, and from the looks of his loser fans, supposed to be their favorites too. I can see why Spoony panicked after this and started to push himself for two more sessions of 'work' after this. Not enough to even begin to cover all the new Skyrim mods for sale.]

    Cuckson Sightings: Whenever Sheriff Cuckson is away, shattering arms somewhere in the name of law and order, all the people that annoy Spoony come out of the woodwork.

    Fortunately, he comes back in after a half hour. If you've been missing your fix him lately, you get you fill of him here--he grabs control of this stream by the reigns and doesn't let go!
    • He soon rantbrags about how you can't even *find* a gun in Cucknadia, and then demands chat keep spoilers out of all of this, people. "Spoony's been actually spoil free this far in, so let's let him enjoy it." When Spoony says it's alright, Cuckson later asks how many he would like customized for his playthrough experience going forward.
    • Also, if he could have anything from Persona in real life, it would be "the ability to sleep easier at night any time," and he personally gives "high marks for weebing."
      Finally, you'll all be pleased to hear that he still enjoy making "you might say" observational pun 'jokes.'

Quotes and Other Items of Note
[Best snippets, in chronological time order.]
  • Noah appears with a fat flushed face. I guess he's doing this fresh off his recent bender.
  • Spoony admits he is actually streaming from his basement, where his consoles are, and not in his "office" with his PC upstairs this time. (I can't decide which part of that sentence is the most hilarious.)
    He's also using some kind of Yeti microphone (which looks like a large dildo).
  • Spoony sarcastically comments that Arizona doesn't have basements to keep from sasquatches, and that he has played this game but not very much. So though he hates starting over and how slow the tutorials are…he's going to anyway.
  • Spoony then rants for a solid minute on the PS4 controllers and how bad their thumbsticks are. Chat praises his thumbs and all parts of him in general.
    Noah puts on his "dorky" headphones (he went with them because they were cheap green). And we finally start.
  • Spoony polls and chat decides to have Jap language off to here Spoony riff. He is surprised, figures they were "big-time on Japanese language."
  • A bunch of DLC is apparently already unlocked. Spoony swears he didn't pay for any of them, especially the swimsuits, merciless difficulty, car stickers, and maid and butler costumes (hmmm….April….?)
  • $20.00 from big donor 'Zamrock,' right on cue--"you have the absolute worst timing ever. I'm about to start DND and you're playing Persona 5? We'll definitely have to check this one out later. Good to see you again Sooon." (Love how this guy just stopped in to drop $20 like a real big shot)
  • 9:40. As Spoony makes dated Mr. Anderson references, chatman 'akram haydari' mericelssly compares Spoony to DSP. "Payreton goals for productions were met but not delivered…both had friends turn backs on you ...phil went east to west, you went west to eats in 2014... both are assholes who steal from friends and are patholgical liars." Hilariously compares genetalia in mm. Spoony just goes "wow...that guy was weird." Isn't banned.
  • Spoony responds to chat saying a lot of his Reb Brown reviews are gone for copyright flags and "there's really nothing I can do about that. I'm trying, though."
    (Spoony also no longer drinks diet…just regular Coke now. So much for the "healthy" soda switch of 2015.)
  • 20:15. Guy in chat ('Johnny Zee') demands to know why Noah denies ex-gays and ex-trans exist and why he "supports self-mutilations instead of self-acceptance." Another Juan but not forgotten pops up.
    (As example of the rest of the cuck chat: 'Allard'--"Why is this Joker guy dressed like my Sonic Forces character?")
  • 'D20asmr' tells Spoony he puts a copyright strike on his channel to have atlus take in down if it goes past two hours. Spoony responds with a smart-aleck response saying he "researched" how long it will be before they cut off his videos, and you didn't expect me answering you this time did you, and "I actually know what I'm doing, bastards."
    (Later he apologizes for if asmr was trying to help, thus giving him the finger in reverse and sticking his own balls with it.)
  • Johnny Zee keeps laying the truth bombs on gender fluidity is a lie. Noah thinks he needs to report someone for hate speech but can't because he "couldn't figure out the method to find it." Since Noah forgot how to just ban people, Zee keeps going.
  • Spoony says he missing his mods (where the hell is Cuckson??? Isn't it his job to be here?) so now 'Geo Soccer' will be taking care of him.
  • Spoony says he "doesn't have time to moderate and play the thing." Then he snaps and starts making fun of Heil Hitler people as seven year olds and how he'll have to turn chat off because he doesn't have time to moderate" for 130 hours. You can listen to this beautiful rant here.
  • Like the mighty Thor, Spoony regains his memories on how to properly ban whence picking up the Mighty BANHAMMER once more. (He had just been removing messages instead, albeit doing a poor job of that).
  • 'Wolf Ragen' makes another $2.81 donation, begging to be a mod for Spoony.
    Seconds later, 'fox noney' also gives "money for mods." (Another new low level of pathetic). King Spoony graciously accepts but doffs them away, telling them you cannot bribe for mods. "Well," he muses, "everyone's but a price… But no …that's not how we're doing it."
  • $2.00 quote from 'Dimitri Konobeev'--"Hope you're doing well." Spoony says that's a complicated question…he's trying not to complain overmuch,…but things have not been great. (Usual BS.)
  • $2.00 quote from 'Thomas Tschirn'--"hey spooonard, you finishing this on stream?" (Spoony doesn't know if he has 200 hours in him).
  • At 38:35, Sheriff Cuckson appears to Re-establish Law and Order.
    When asked how it's going, he says he's been "doing his time, so to speak." (Someone must've set up our hero upstate on a bad rap. For a 5 move murder he didn't commit).
  • $10.00 quote from 'Balthaza228'--"Would you ever consider doing a playthrough or a vid on Monkey Island 2?" (Spoony says it's a strange choice, but it's a thought, and he doesn't think he has it anymore. Again, usual BS.)
  • 'Zandrock' gives $10 to confess his love for sempai, and how he's been watching since 9th grade.
  • Spoony says the Jersey wearing teacher looks like his older brother, whom none of the rest of us have ever seen.
    It's not Miles, although Spoony says Miles is doing fine.
  • At an hour in, so far Spoony is not thrilled with the game. "All I'm getting is that people fucking hate me." He despairs that he's not even through the tutorials. Cuckson tells him to wait it out and it will get better and that "soon enough we'll get through it all."
  • Spoony is starting to not have fun and slouch in his chair, which chat complains they can't hear. Spoony says he needs to slouch because his back is starting to hurt.
    Cuckson lovingly reminds him he's still in tutorial. "You won't find much, and you'll be back." (Spoony Experiment Official Motto™)
  • $21.00 quote from 'notyoursaviour78'--"I've never donated to the Spoony before, though I bought Merch."
  • $5.00 quote from 'NoGuffGames'--"Thanks for putting a smile on my face for so many years. You've always been someone that I could relate to, rants and all."
  • $10.00 quote from 'Not Another Reviewer'--"If the Cat's not played by Danny John Jules, I'm not interested." (Spoony just stars ahead, grinning like an idiot).
  • Despite wanting to be his Guide to the Life Universe and Everything, Cuckson demands others in chat not give away spoilers. "Let Spoony experience everything in the game as much as possible." (Spoony's enjoyment apparently consists of jokes about honey and joining the volleyball team).
  • Spoony starts to approach his tiredness limit, around when Cuckson predicts it. So of course he keeps going for another 20 minutes.
    Cuckson tells him to "grit your teeth, we're gonna get trhough it man…Push through it with a story, if you feel one."
  • It's not enough for brave Noah, though. Even though the gameplay is finally starting, He takes off the headphones and rubs his eyes, feeling burnt out after all that solid labor.
    Cuckson tries to soothe him by saying he's right at where he can pick it up. "Transformers is always an option."
  • Spoony lets his overwhelming need for begging dollars spirit let him continue, and puts the 'phones back on.
  • $2.00 from 'NoGuffGames'--"Heading out to karaoke. Any suggestions?" (There are none).
  • At 2:32:34, Spoony says he needs to stop the stream so he can eat, because he's about to pass out. Chat falls all over themselves hoping to feed him. Spoony is sure the game is good but hates how long it is taking to get through the start.
    Someone gives him $5 for a burrito, which helps Spoony decide what to have for dinner.
  • Almost too late, 'xstationo11' donates $5 trying to get Noah to check out Hyperdimension Neptunia.
    Spoony is already in leaving mode.

Whew..that was a lot. And we're not done yet.
Stay tuned for Parts 2 and 3, coming soon.
...and still: Spoony did nothing.

User avatar
Tony Schiavone
Posts: 681
Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2017 2:11 pm

Re: Test

Post by Tony Schiavone » Fri May 18, 2018 9:56 pm

[[[Continuing from Part One!]]]

Will Spoony find the energy to continue? Will Cuckson be the one to lead him forward, arms draped around him from behind across his chest to passionately urge his sempai on, just like in his deepest dreams?

Once again, boys and girls, it appears to be time...for...

Spoony's Panhandling Stream Roundup

[MY PERSONA WILL DO EVERY TRAINING BUT JOB TRAINING Edition]

I tally it so you don't have to. All dollar amounts in USD, because burgerland = #1. Convert as necessary for your country.

Vital Statistics (Part Two):
  • Total time: 1:51:59
    Total haul: $29.45
    Begging Efficiency Per Hour (BEPH): $15.78. [Fucking SCRUB TIER. As we've said before, BEPH is the blended benchmark of your average street begging. This means that Spoony could've literally laid outside on the cold ground, with a sign and a cup--unconscious--and made more money. His regular donors probably can't give more than every two weeks when their government check comes in. Even they need to eat.]

    Cuckson Sightings: Our favorite cheerleading amateur therapist, Sheriff Cuckson, ambles in at 20 minutes for some Old West six foot six lovin'.
    • He immediately acts surprised, slightly concerned, though not upset, at Spoony daring to go back to the same game IN THE SAME NIGHT. (Oh the humanity!)
      Wants to know how Noah's food was. Spoony just talks about a cat clawing fucking brains in, so Cuckson moves on to tell chat he's glad they're doing good tonight
    • In a moment of clarity, he realizes he's "that guy" (in reference to Ryugi, but still true)
    • Encourages him to keep sticking with it in the face of the Great Twitter Frame Up. "You'll keep moving forward."
    • Believes transitioning genders is "New Game + material"
    • "Clearly the Velvet Room is Twitter. Locking you up without saying why."
    • Talks about pussy (in reference to a volleyball cheerleader joke) like he's had some before.
    • Most ironic quote: "Silence is an option."
    • Breathlessly celebrates the "exciting" part where a student falls to her death.

Quotes and Other Items of Note
[Best snippets, in chronological time order.]
  • Spoony begins by rubbing himself, then saying he'll wait until more people filter in "before I say anything of substance." He commends his slavish mouth-breather fans on the speed they arrive to his summons and click to watch. He hopes it will be good.
  • $2.00 quote from 'The Free Man'--"Woah, new digs. Nice." (It's his basement again)
    Spoony calls it his man cave/den, says it's very nice because "it's actually a finished basement." (As opposed to an unfinished one?!?)
  • Spoony says he's calmed down and not frustrated now, since he had something to eat. Tells chat that he won't sleep, never sleep, sleep when he's dead. Or has enough money for the month.
  • Headphones on, Captain Spoony guides us into the wild world of commenting on the pause screen and whether the music actually sounds like British punk rock.
  • 12:13. Spoony says this part is like Metal Gear Solid 5. (Remember: only HE may make references.)
  • 'Jarod Kruc' in chat asks: "how do you send Spoony cash?" Chat quickly tells him. Spoony makes a bad pirate joke. Chat tells him they laugh and cringe and love him. (So far chat have been 100% on the side of kissing spoony's ass. No infiltrators.)
  • At 21:27, Sheriff Cuckson rides into town.
  • For those curious, Spoony's commentary mostly consists of bizarre ranting about thighs, slaves, and Al Gore.
  • Copyrighted music apparently plays. "So ya'll gotta watch this video," Noah says, "so I can get it reviewed and denied the review." (Giving up?)
  • Spoony complains about how cramped he is, what with the equipment and the laptop and the microphones. He's trapped in his chair.
  • 32:56. Youtube won't help him get Twitter back, because Spoony dindu nuffin', he can't make an appeal when he don't know what to say. He says they tried to swap him at one point, but didn't happen.
    Acknowledges (finally) that it was probably for a really old tweet said in the past, but "whatever." (Translation: Too much work to get another one and fight fake accounts, so forget it)).
  • Admits to being swatted once. He says it won't work on him because he already called state and local law enforcement and explained to them what it was, and figures a guy like him wouldn't be a suspect.
  • Spoony continues being proud that he informed ignorant law enforcement about swatting. "I'm not stupid, you know." He tells chat to similarly not be stupid, and not swat.
  • 36:45. Chat asks if he's becoming a girl. Spoony says he "doesn't have the balls for that."
    Wonders why they ask and if they are becoming one; he's sure they have 'nerves of steel.' (Our liberal body shaming hero, ladies and gentlemen. Wonders why he got banned with comments like that).
  • Calls fan on asking it and moving on if nothing happened. Continues rambling how swatting could be a problem, with all his fake guns, how the Blade Runner replica and Space Marine rifle arrangement could've fooled the cops into thinking he was a 'violent felon.' Says they were props for a video he was totally going to make.
    (Cuckson keeps commenting on the video cutscene this whole time)
  • Spoony declares pizza bombing won't work on him either because he got blacklisted from all deliveries. (Somehow I can see this really happening)
    Says swatting isn't a big deal either because police now just call ahead and ask politely if you are a bad guy.
  • 40:01. Spoony informed more about fake him, sarcastically admits he has dysphoria and was gonna change gender. "No that's not the plan…and even if it was, so what?"
    He's more concerned about his perception as a psychopath.
  • Says lithium was really bad him. After two or three weeks of no improvement, he asked to get off the hell it was creating for him.
  • "I would make a sexy chick, now that I think about it, but that's kind of low on my list of priorities." (He's warming up to it?)
    Chat is started to dig the idea too: 'TheFifthWill' thinks he looks great in that Yuna costume (or his brother does).
  • Spoony cannot play Monster Hunter because he has "reasons."
    Cuckson assumes that it is because they are issues with playing people online. "Those are fair at this point. That's cool man."
  • 48:38. ]Spoony gives up, asks people to help tell him where to go because he's "sick of this shit." Starts complaining at Cuckson's directions because he can't find room numbers.
  • Spoony thinks he may have genuinely have apathy syndrome. Cuckson sees Boss starting to get cranky: "Spoony, legit, if you wanna duck out of the game now, we get it" Apologizes that the game drags if you can't care about its characters.
  • $2.00 quote from 'BlackButterCrunch'--"please play more ff9" (Spoony is too busy whining and moaning about not finding an exit to notice).
  • 1:15:04. Spoony stands to front shot his plaid pants that someone bought him from his Amazon wishlist. They were "in honor of this game." (Money well spent).
  • Cuckson begs Boss to let him know if he's lost the game at this point. No answer.
    He later encourages him by celebrating when the game gets more exciting and pointing out things are happening.
  • $6.94 quote from 'derekderkster'--"for your endurance." (Spoony half-heartedly talks about math)
  • Spoony holds his head like he's in agony.
    Cuckson is torn between is love of terrible weeb games and being the Official Friend of Boss, keeps saying "We're so damn close! So damn close!"
  • 1:39:28. Spoony moans that needs another game. Starts getting snippy with chat about what he feels are obvious things like switching personas. (Let the complaining begin!)
  • Clearly not happy, Spoony forces his slave to defend the game for what he feels is random trial and error.
    With Cuckson essentially telling him what to do, he finally manages to finish boss battle.
  • With two minutes to go, Noah says he's "literally falling asleep."
    "Sleep man," says his loyal servant. "You've hit your limit, Spoony." (Gee, a whole two fucking hours of work)
  • Hits a save break. Spoony says he'll play something else next time (liar) but he's fallen asleep. Game has finally beaten him. "If you enjoy watching my pain subscribe to my channel so you can see more such suffering."
    Spoony then heads to bed…at sunrise.


Part 3 coming eventually soon!
...and still: Spoony did nothing.

User avatar
Tony Schiavone
Posts: 681
Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2017 2:11 pm

Re: Test

Post by Tony Schiavone » Fri May 18, 2018 9:57 pm

[[[Continuing from Part Two!]]]

Will Cuckson finally finish the adoption papers, to become the mother and father Spoony never had?
Will they run away North to leave happily ever after among the Leafs, to leave immigrants and border problems behind for Prince Miles and his Pocho Popper to clean up?

Once again, boys and girls, it appears to be time...for...

Spoony's Panhandling Stream Roundup

[MY PERSONA IS TOO SMART TO BE SWATTED Edition]

I tally it so you don't have to. All dollar amounts in USD, because burgerland = #1. Convert as necessary for your country.

Vital Statistics (Part Three):
  • Total time: 1:36:00
    Total haul: $91.00
    Begging Efficiency Per Hour (BEPH): $56.88. [Better, but still terrible. Total viewings also down. Thankfully, he can rely on his most useful of idiots to bail him out reliably. His best bet honestly is the pity money he gets from trolls, if he does it this frequently enough.]

    Cuckson Sightings: Apocalypse_Andy gets to show up and pretend to be Cuckson for about twenty minutes, until the real deal comes in to take control of the playground. He definitely the kid who thinks he's best friends with Noah because he can talk more authoritatively and has a meager amount of power.
    • Proceeds to mother him after the big boss fight where they seemed to have a disagreement. "You back into the plot or still cheesed about it?"
      (Spoony ignores him).
    • White knights and makes excuses to explain a fictional video game character
    • Pretends he's a part of Spoony's conversations when he's thinking out loud for what to do next in game (specifically,
      social link)
    • Has a serious talk about how Spoony must be using Confidents, and must do so even when playing on his own (Can't play the game without following the Cuckson guide, oh no)
    • Is sad that Youtube does not currently allow IP banning.

Quotes and Other Items of Note
[Best snippets, in chronological time order.]
  • We are once again coming LIVE from SPOONY'S BASEMENT! He's adjusted the camera to show that he does have some actual shelves and stuff down there.
  • Chat starts off with a "hay gurl." Spoony weakly smiles back, "Hey something." (Not sure he understands.)
    He then rants about the ice skating in the intro, saying how the whimsy has left the game after a four hour drag. He hopes it picks up.
  • Mass_Murder_Andy shows up two minutes in. He's glad YT streaming is working for him again. (That's all he has to say for ten minutes).
  • Spoony admits he played ahead between sessions to try and get to the actual gameplay. However, he couldn't beat the boss because he doesn't have the heart's greatest desire treasure. Complains how it doesn't make sense to send them a threatening letter to make them more vulnerable to stealing it.
    When chat says its a huge debate in the game, Spoony is relieved that they're addressing what an important detail it is. With that, he begins.
  • 8:22. Spoony puts on his Spider Jerusalem glasses. He calls them his "Persona TV World shades." It lasts for a full 20 secoinds before he takes them off; he says they hurt him.
  • $10.00 quote from 'Chris Holder'--"Hope you enjoy the game as much as I did. Put around 160 hours into it." (Spoony hopes he would enjoy it enough to play that long "if I ever have that much time." Drippy irony.) Later muses that Persona 3 wasn't even 160 hours long.
  • $5.00 quote from 'The Free Man'--"Thought you were sick of persona?...Also give Oreo a pet for me buddy" (Spoony says its the right time to see the glorious purple g-string)
  • Machine_Gun_Andy bizarrely yells in all caps how he's gonna eat ice cream and pizza all day. (I guess because Spoony mentioned a demon sitting on a giant toilet?) Rest of chat is firmly on Spoony's boner (though some are still confused if he's no longer on Twitter)
  • Andy keeps randomly yelling IN CAPS about the Youtube subscription system. He then settles down into steady Cuckson-esque posting. Spoony manages to win first part of the boss fight.
  • Sheriff Cuckson appears at 23:50. After looking to be briefed on the situation, he immediately looks to help Boss and curry his thanks by explaining how items work.
  • Spoony comments the boss is hard. Jackson is there to play parent: "You ARE playing on Normal, Spoony. Don't fret the bosses too much, unless you REALLY fuck up these are easy."
    Spoony angrily rebels: "What do you mean I shouldn't too much…he's beating my ass!"
  • $20.00 quote from Corey'--"shout out to Imnot and malice is lame"
  • Jackson (kind of) stands up for himself: "I've played this a few times. If you were underleveled for his he'd be one shotting you"
    Spoony ignores, soon finishes him off. Jackson goes back to cheerleading.
  • Spoony makes a lame Matt Hardy reference that chat immediately fans and eats over.
  • $5.00 quote from 'dkormos4'--"All hail Spoony!" (Spoony nods approvingly)
  • Grenadier_Andy posts back up to Cuckson levels, desperate for attention. He eventually starts to answer his own questions. (Spoony gets annoyed he can't tell a Mona from Morgana)
  • $10.00 quote from 'Gary Willcoxon'--"Meant to send you more. I hope you do more reviews! Your so good at it spoony!! :)"
  • Spoony complains that he doesn't have time to do/use Confidents in game because the cat keeps getting in the way.
  • Cuckson is practically begging Spoony at this point to start following his advice and use Confidents. (Feels like this game is for Cuckson to show off his fancy toy he knows all about, that Spoony must play properly to appreciate and bask in his glory)
    Spoony instead explores a few shops...like Cuckson told him he could a couple minutes earlier.
  • Spoony finally ends up at the doctor Cuckson wants him to go. (FFS, let the man play the game)
    Cuckson doesn't have time to enjoy it because INFILTRATORS START SPAWNING! Cue the "Will you Vote for Apaio?" chat trolls.
  • "Every time you ban someone, [it's] like a fully new account," observes Noah. "God, that's some sad dedication…it's obsessive."
    He pouts about the offensive harassment and the time and effort they could be accomplishing anything else, like laundry.
  • $5.00 from 'exlibris333'--"Don't let the bastards get you down."
    (All this reaction from one comment Spoony probably didn't even see...smh.)
  • Spoony randomly waters a plant in his room, which sends Cuckson into a tizzy about how he HAS to feed the plants, and also how he HAS to buy smoothies, and he HAS to get a recipe to craft a Lockpick, and, and...
    (I think I prefer Lame-Joke Cuckson to Annoying-Taskmaster-Do What I Want Cuckson. Hell, even Full-Of-Opinions Cuckson is more tolerable)
  • Trolls irritating chat more. Spoony gets mad that he has to do a simple puzzle based on the four color theroum.
  • Another donor gives $4.00 to ask if Spoony will be joining the Lord British game. He ignores to grip about the puzzle.
    Jackson of course is right there to say that it's hard one for players, and not to feel bad.
  • 1:05:01. Spoony threatens to shut down the chat, saying it's "getting out of hand in there."
    Jackson protests that it's not all like that. "Me and Andy have this shit on LOCK"
  • Rail_Gun_Andy says that he will leave in 20 minutes, and Jinson must face the dark world of trolls...alone: "Give me your strength, Shooter_Andy!"
    Chat cheers, calls for the banhammer. They both fight over it briefly.
  • Once again, Spoony explains he dindu nuffin' to get banned from Twitter and nobody told him why no appeal. "I doubt anyone even reads the ticket."
    Says he just got a form letter. Chat wonders when Trump will ban anime.
  • Spoony can't even do a frigging crossword puzzle without Jackson running his big mouth.
  • Pessimistic, frustrated Spoony starting to creep in. Starting to wear down and just take some of Cuckson's neverending "advice."
  • 1:22:19. 'Jay Voo' in chat tells him "your new life as a woman has certainly perked you up."
    Spoony agrees--slightly bemused, clearly irritated.
  • Spoony goes for a five minute rant about bathing habits. Cuckson thinks the trolls are stopping because they've finally had enough. (It's really because they know the stream is almost over)
  • Cuckson wants Spoony to gain more levels; however, Spoony needs a break and a drink, because his throat is almost shredded.
    After being told it's OK--and take his time--from You-Know-Who, Spoony finishes the day and stops.
  • He's not sure if he wants to keep playing, as he says he has plenty of console choices down in the basement. 'Zamrock' shows up to drop $20.00 for the 'entertainment' and kiss ass, as usual.
    Spoony thinks he will probably stick with the game and reminds his few views to subscribe. Jackson wishes him a good drink and asks to hit him up on Skype if he wants later.


Whew! This session was particularly rich in irony.
Will the next episode be just as bad?
Stay tuned!
...and still: Spoony did nothing.

User avatar
Tony Schiavone
Posts: 681
Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2017 2:11 pm

Re: Test

Post by Tony Schiavone » Fri May 18, 2018 9:58 pm

[[[Continuing from Part Three!]]]

Will Spoony make up the cash difference he so desperately needs? Has Cuckson convinced Boss to just take a break and hand him the controller for a while? Will they ever make passionate love together on Skype? Can Spoony deal with the emotional toil of having to be led through puzzles AND banning people?

Once again, boys and girls, it appears to be time...for...

Spoony's Panhandling Stream Roundup

[PERSONAS DON'T HAVE TO SHAVE AND CAN EAT ALL THE BURRITOS THEY WANT Edition]

I tally it so you don't have to. All dollar amounts in USD, because burgerland = #1. Convert as necessary for your country.

Vital Statistics (Part Four):
  • Total time: 2:53:52
    Total haul: $97.35
    Begging Efficiency Per Hour (BEPH): $33.59. [Has he just given up on trying to panhandle at this point? Maybe he's actually deluded himself into thinking that he just survive on the revenue from the views in his terrible streams. If these are truly the End Days of Noah Antwiler, that is surely one of the seven signs.]

    Cuckson Sightings: Acid_Attack_Andy is nowhere to be found. This is before the forums went down, so he should be there to do his job for his idol. Without any Privileged Purples, the chat turns lawless and anarchic. Spoony slowly sinks into a mire of totally real game depression, ready to quit after about an hour.

    Sheriff Cuckson is away shattering collarbones and dispensing powerful game advice, when he senses an awful feeling. Boss!... he thinks to himself. B-Boss neeeds me!... Worse! He's about to give up on my favorite game of all time! It's the mistress to my waifu, Spoony!
    Despite those distressed damsels and helpless men who need to know about how to play Transformers, Cuckson bravely mounts his horse, cracks his whip, and with a hearty Hi-Ho Silver charges in to save the stream and make LOADS OF CASH.
    • Says that he was working in SFM and practicing stuff. Is very sorry he was clearly needed here.
    • Encourages him to get Rank 5 with the doc because he respects women. "trust me...that slut's GOOD"
    • Declares that any game made by Atlas--like Trauma Center--is 'hilarious'
    • Mentions the cat turning into a bus is a My Neighbor Totoro reference, like five times, to sound smart.
    • Makes excuses for Boss when JRPGs have too much dialogue for poor old Noah.

Quotes and Other Items of Note
[Best snippets, in chronological time order.]
  • Spoony fumbles a minute with the chat getting it to work. He blames bad Ethernet connection dongles, and if it doesn't work, he'll go back to his old method, which was apparently working just fine. "I'm not happy until I break things, you know."
  • Spoony recaps his streaming adventure so far. "No I'm not sporting a beard," he then replies to chat. "I'm just too lazy to shave. Big difference!"
  • Mini-rant about how he hates cats in real life. Then at 2:09 you can see his Playstation games menu pop briefly into view. (Looks like he's been putting time into Metal Gear Solid 5, Yakuza 0, Transistor, and Sniper Elite 3).
    "Oops," he mumbles quickly. "You didn't see that! You didn't see all the porn that was there."
  • Once again, Spoony addresses that he not, repeat not on Twitter. Whoever is on Twitter claiming to be me is an imposter who should be reported at once." Maybe someday he thinks he'll return but for now "it's for the best that I focus on other things. You know, the important things. Like playing video games in front of thousands of people."
  • He pleads once more to report his clone on Twitter, "for all the good that it does…I don't think there's anyone human at Twitter handling support requests…like appeals" He says he tried four times and every time he tries there's no recourse or upper level for him to appeal. "It's so incredibly frustrating...that no point I can ever talk to any one human." (Withdrawl must be a bitch)
  • Chat acts like they're North Korea and he's Kim Jong-un. Spoony grumbles one more time about the robots taking over. And then, at four minutes in ... we finally begin.
  • Spoony's strategy this session is to read books so he'll not be stupid and pass the midterms. No Cuckson present to give him a better option.
    Spoony continues speculating that while robots didn't report him, robots are definitely keeping him off. "Im sure I get reported all the time. But there's nobody I can explain the situation to." Dindu nuffin, etc.
  • $2.00 quote from 'The Free Man'--"Back at it I see. Who you gonna waifu?" (Spoony says his choice has to meet very high standards. "She has to be smokin' hot for one, that's just a given...let's be honest here." Minds are admired but come secondary.) Spoony is afraid to try the dating, though, because it reminds of 'To Catch a Predator.'
  • After about 18 minutes of hearing Spoony's low effort comments about relationship advice and fake gold medals, infiltrators appear!, trying to butthurt the chat. It works spectactularly--some of them want to kill the chat--but Spoony, of course, doesn't even notice.
  • Spoony finally gets off his lazy ass to ban the obvious 'Nigerian Spammer.' (There's an art to trolling folks) Tries putting himself on the high road: "I really wondered that people have this much time on their hands just to type naughty words in the chat rooms."
  • Chat still butthurt over those that make "15 fake accounts" just to interrupt their incredibly lame good time. Spoony calmly bans another one, but more keep slipping through. Some asking if he smokes weed. Another asks if their patreon went towards Mountain Dew.
    Obligatory 'Vote for Joe Apaio' post. Spoony deletes both of them with a half smile on his face, without comment. Still, there are too many people asking him questions, mostly about reviews and review requests.
  • $10.00 quote from 'Chris Holder'--"Have a 12 pack of Mt Dew on me" (Spoony thanks him for ennabling his caffeine addiction. Doesn't say anything about his sugar addiction.)
    Meanwhile, a chatman is basically offering to write Spoony's review for him if he'll perform it.
  • With the lack of Sherrif Cuckson or Subway_Bombing_Andy, Spoony is having to do more of his own banhammering. You can see him slowly start to get more annoyed about it as time goes on.
  • Quote from Missle Lawnchair': "Spoony used to be great, then he got money for doing nothing." (Spoony reads it, but doesn't delete it. Just kind of passively sighs to himself and resumes playing) A few seconds later he gets mad at the cat for leaving him trapped in the room.
  • A couple guys in chat ask if they can start being a moderator. Another asks when he's gonna play Tekken. Spoony just keeps talking about pancakes and beans. Infiltrators keep coming.
  • Spoony starts getting tired of the dinner party in game not advancing story, "tempted to just start hammering through them." Gets mad at chat who tries to explain its rich people looking down on kids. "I get it…it's hammering it home." (Uh oh! He's close to another tantrum!)
  • A pissed looking Spoony says the buffet is a microcosm of the game "It shows us all this great stuff that we could be enjoying but the game won't let us." (Yup, hes defnitely getting mad).
    Finally discovers the fast forward button to start skipping dialogue.
  • 45:23. Spoony does his best Stevie Wonder impression.
  • Calls a bald man in game Moby; someone in chat calls him Cinema Snob. (OK, that was funny)
    Still, Spoony is ready to tap out. "Somebody pick a different game," he moans, holding his head. Chat floods with game suggestions (and a few insults).
  • $5.00 quote from ]Ian Part-Time DM'--About to go to work. Wanted to throw some money at you to say thank you for being one of the inspirations to do Youtube, for better or worse." (Love how completely un-self-aware these people are)
  • Spoony acts like he's being put thgrough electroshock torture ... then throws down the headphones. (THERE IT IS!! THE TANTRUM!!)
    Hates these people, hates the best friend the game gives him, etc.
  • Chat tries to Cuckson him to take a break. "Been under a little stress lately…yeah, sure, we'll manage...right."
    'Accidentally' passive aggressively fast forwards to where he has to name the group. (We're not even an hour in yet, folks).
  • 50:28. "Oh…I don't have it in me to be witty right now."
    Wastes no time in shooting down name suggestions from chat. Finally settles on 'Windjammers.' (He explains it's a botchamania reference.)
  • Spoony still in malaise. "Oh good," he continues, "and now I get to deal with anonymous posts that criticize me on the video game - that's great"
  • 'T Gore' donates $12.36. Spoony asks him to please send help. This game is too much reading for him.
  • Chatman wants Spoony to take his shirt off. Spoony just keeps yamering about Martin Shkreli and what rape is or isn't. (Still no headphones on btw)
  • 1:07:29. Spoony starts spinning around, becomes Turl, and gets his greasy hair stuck to his face. A couple folks in chat think Spoony's finally lost it.
  • Spoony says he really can't take it and needs to pick a new game.
    But right on cue, riding in to save Boss in his hour of need!
    It's the mounted hero!
    It's
    Sheriff Cuckson!
  • Spoony says his servant missed all the people who had "dozens of sock puppet accounts just so they could get into random chat rooms and post the N word all over again." (Pretty sure there was nothing random about it, buddy).
    Cuckson says the game has a weird pace, where you are stuck in dialogue or trying to 'blaze' through gameplay.
  • Chat quote form 'geryainate'--"Seriously, I have money, what'll it be for a Dream daddy playthrough?"
  • $20.00 quote from 'AngellusRavenix'--"Here's hoping things start to look up for you, man. But try out Nier Automata for some faster paces action." (Spoony says he's heard of the name, but that's all).
  • $6.99 quote from 'evertoaster'--"Thanks for all the cool videos" (Spoony plays the lotto, and loses)
  • $10.00 quote from 'Suggestively Ninja'--"A small thank you for the kahntent you've put out over the years. Much love, dude. Also, happy Rusev Day."
  • Spoony's mood has improved quite a bit since Cuckson has arrived to tell him to play the game.
  • 'Gotrek' in chat dares to speak the truth of Spoony's hypocrisy.
    Cuckson tell him to "Oh, shush." Spoony agrees, says that someone woke up with a lot of sand in their vaginal cavity and he should get a Snickers bar. Chat mocks him, tells him to take a nap.
    Spoony applauds Jinson's swooping of the BANHAMMER. Chat cheers the home run hammer.
  • 1:33:58. Bug crawls up Spoony's nose. Chat gets horny for a video game teacher.
  • Spoony keeps scrunching his nose, gets skeptical at the thought of gameplay even happening. Cuckson checks in to make his best friend/care patient is still holding up OK.
  • 1:41:25. Spoony flips the headphones again, flippers his hands in the air, and GETS UP OUT OF HIS CHAIR! (By gawd, you know things are serious now!)
    Comes back in time a minute later to see the catbus.
  • Spoony looks much more punch drunk (probably from the glass of booze he downed off camera). Cuckson: "There there, Spoony. If ya need a break, then save after this, and all's well."
  • $2.00 quote from 'MangaKamen'--"I remember when I asked bout this game months ago."
  • Spoony says renegotiating with a demon makes no sense. Cuckson corrects him by stating you can get more money and items from them, "ABSURD CASH."
  • $20.00 quote from 'Jak Sewell'--"Ayy finally catching one of these live!" (Spoony sarcastically replies that he's "so excited to be facing monsters well below my level")
  • Cuckson tries again to indirectly talk Spoony into choosing a Persona with a high Luck. Spoony ignores, fights a guy that he says is bad for some reason he doesn't know.
    Someone in chat pips in: "Actually, that's a fairly good reason to be mean to people. They started it."
  • Cuckson approves of Spoony's random battle selection choices: "MONEY. Lots and lots of money." He then goes off on a side tangent to himself, talking how to farm money.
  • Spoony hilariously thinks he's doing the opposite of what Cuckson is explaining
    (Cuckson: 'We can change them after we talk to them!' Spoony: 'Oh so we're just assassinating them? That doesn't seem nice.')
  • 'Jak Sewell' gives more money to help Spoony define the term vigilante justice.
  • Spoony says the game is just playing itself at this point. Jinson observes that Spoony doesn't use Direct Commands, just like in Persona 4. (Must be nice to have someone that knows all about you and your habits)
  • Cuckson keeps awkwardly trying to convince Boss he should really use those luck Personas.
    Meanwhile, the dialogues are running Spoony out of patience. He does more scenes with Mishima because Cuckson tells him to. (It's like watching a bored kid being dragged around a museum by his parents).
  • 'Loxagu' in chat: "I hear Persona 5 gets really good 20 hours in."
    Cuckson is upset that 'we' missed our Sunday smoothies. Spoony is upset because he didn't get to make coffee, keeps worrying about midterms. Cuckson tells him to just make it to Rank 2 intelligence and not worry about it. (He has other plans for Spoony)
  • "And my popularity continues to sink. Oh, and in the game as well." He thanks the game for giving him shitty ratings.
    "There's not enough dirty words in this to be actual Reddit posts." He admits he's so done with this.
  • Cuckson cannot wait to get with the doc. "After exams...We are prepared" (Living vicariously through his son, I see)
    Spoony isn't happy getting one Knowledge point, decides to save scum. Everyone celebrates when he earns the point.
  • 2:30:33. Spoony impresses with his knowledge of the 'magistrate's patronage.' (Its' from a pervious game).
    Even he gets a little bit weirded out by Cuckson's obsessive of the doc. FINALLY Jinson swears "on my honor" to shut up about it.
  • $5.00 quote from 'Anthony Bitonti' WINNER OF THIS STREAM'S 'MOST DELUSIONAL DONOR' AWARD--"Glad to see you are back and getting things on track. Your stream and videos have helped me through some dark things in my life. Thanks for everything."
  • "My opinion ratings continue to plummet. My webmaster is doing a terrible job." Later cheers on a subway stalker and rocks himself back and forth. Some in chat wise up to the fact: "IT'S LITERALLY A DAY BY DAY RECOUNT OF THE YEAR!"
  • Spoonys gets frustrated that he'll never get to play (although with Cuckson around, are you even really?).
    Then...ANOTHER TANTRUM!! He starts ranting about how the game won't let him make his own decisions as leader of the group. Then he gets snippy because he could just go up and take a piss during a livestream and nothing would change.
  • Noah starts giggling like an insane person. And…that's it(?)

Yup...the stream just cuts off from there. Good thing it did, too. There's only so much absorbing and cataloging of this man's pathetic life I can take all at once.
Hope a takes a long break from reality this time until he realizes his rent is due.

TOTAL EARNINGS (1-4): $377.78
TOTAL BEPH (1-4): $42.22


FINAL RANK
S A B C D F
...and still: Spoony did nothing.

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