Nasty Cockslut aka Uncle Linky

[drisko]

I figured she was playing the creepy doll. Might be Beth Elderkin though

All right, part three time. Holy shit it's 35 minutes long. Yeah, this is going to be the only one tonight. Also, just added up the runtime, it's about 176 minutes long combined. Yes he repeats the opening and closing credits, which are about a minute and a half total, but still, this thing is almost three hours? How do you stretch it out that long? I guess I'm about to find out.

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00:38 - Picking up where we left off, the weird doll thing is still laughing about Goofy Gary flaying them. Merlo wonders if Welshy is okay and then tries to get the others to gang up on the doll since it's only a foot tall. Chaos points out it was able to stab Welshy so maybe underestimating what it can do is a bad idea. Which of course means Marzgurl runs up with a weak roar and... it sounds like she boots it, but I think she was supposed to tackle the thing since she starts pummeling as she mentions she's sick of this crap. She stops and it turns out the doll is talking in third person, it's Goofy Gary, and it has another knife. Welshy wakes up and stabs it with the knife it used to stab him. Turns out he didn't get stabbed, the monkey took most of it instead. Nella points out he's still bleeding and checks the wound, confirming it's not that bad. Marzgurl calms down, saying she's sick of bad shit happening every time they get together. Chaos decides to try and interrogate the doll, but Gary lets them know that their presence has awoken 'The Voice From the Dark." I think Linkara messed up the title. Oh well, scene's finally over.

2:58 - Nash's group again and no one is in the room, though Elisa and *Checks notes* Dom say they saw a woman on a spiral staircase for a second, though Shaun says they're just imagining the ghost lady. He goes into the whole 'rational explanation' crap you see all the time. They're in a study and Elisa notices that at the top of the staircase is a hatch that might lead to an attic which could be a way out. Dom suggests taking a break to loot the bar in the room. Shaun is up for drinking by the fireplace, but notice something's wrong about it. Rocked points out that the fire isn't moving. Nash wonders if it's a screen or projection, but Shaun points out the heat. He decides to get a napkin to see if it'll light, which it does. And some dust Nash brushed away from a table has come back. Elisa, being one of Lindsay's friends, immediately thinks to experiment with the alcohol and decides to pour some out (Though is careful not to waste the Merlot in case she's wrong. Hasn't she seen Sideways?) and it goes right back in with the cork returning to her hand. They freak out, and then some spectral images who don't appear on screen pop up and mumble. But the ghosts don't acknowledge them and are playing out a conversation from the past that turns into a murder and the scream repeats as they watch a ghost man kill a ghost woman.

6:50 - Suede's group. He's concerned they're still underground and should have seen a staircase and is worried, only for Yomarz to point out the possibility that something is down there with them to be funny. Or that there's no bathroom. A woman literally runs into Calluna and knocks her down. They assume they didn't hear her because of the sound absorption. The woman asks for their help and says something's chasing her. Apparently she was a sound technician hired for the party... Sound technician, Hmmm? And it turns out she was being chased by zombies that have killed two people. And Yomarz pissed his pants.

8:21 - Linkara's group, he receives a text from Welshy about the doll. Dena hasn't found much else in the diary and Hagan is too busy looking at porn. Erod says why not just use the magic gun to blast a hole in the wall and then call the spaceship to beam everyone out. Linkara agrees, but then some whispers happen and Linkara changes his mind about the plan. Erod points out the exit could still help, but Linkara's not interested and Dena has found something in the book. The doll was found in a dig site in Tunisia and there are symbols on it that hint it might be a scout for something. Scarsdale dreams about a monstrous blob with only the vaguest human features on its twisted face, which can barely survive in this world. Lewis must have forgotten to put Chipman in the credits. Linkara decides that yeah, the hole in the wall is a good idea again.

11:28 - Marzgurl's group, Welshy gets a text about the hole plan. Marzgurl says they'll look around for another five minutes and then head back. The doll is in a sack or something. Chaos points out the speaker had a motion sensor so someone expects them to walk this way and wants to check it out. Welshy points out this is stupid. Gary keeps talking and Marzgurl echoes my thoughts that it needs to shut the hell up, and repeats what she said last time about wanting to just hang out and not go on an adventure. Merlo's happy he got to meet everyone even if this shit's going down, then beats the doll. Chaos finds an unlocked door along with blood on the carpet and the stench of death. They decide to investigate and find a corpse that's no longer recognisable as human. They're about to leave when Nella notices monitors with camera footage of the house. Marzgurl finds a notebook with puzzle solutions. Nella sees Linkara's group, he and Erod are having trouble busting through.They flip some switches and the shutters from the main room open, making them realise they're in the control room. Marzgurl points out there's no lever to make the floor collapse, and they find an invoice for a party service. Not certain what's going on, they raise the walls and try to regroup.

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Okay, this is taking too long and I'm only halfway done. I'll continue tomorrow.

[Bobito]

I assume that in the end cockslut saves the day and keep his title as saviour of the universe.

[Guest]

>I have to edit portraits for the finale

Because audio-dramas are such a visual medium.

The most ironic thing about the """plot""" is in part 4 (I think) Linkara goes on this diatribe that he lured everyone to the mansion because he wanted it to be like old times where everyone gets together and has fun making videos together.
In an audio drama.
Where everyone recorded from their own homes.

This would be pretty sad if it wasn't so funny.

To make this even more stupid, at least one guy (eRod) is supposedly "filming" this... like in the old times. Because the cameraman has always been one of the characters in these anniversary movies, right...?

They made the "cameraman" a character in an audio drama? Where there isn't a camera? That is a whole new level of whut.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

He wants to keep up the illusion that this is totally the exact same thing as the other anniversaries in-universe.

All right, part three time. Holy shit it's 35 minutes long. Yeah, this is going to be the only one tonight. Also, just added up the runtime, it's about 176 minutes long combined. Yes he repeats the opening and closing credits, which are about a minute and a half total, but still, this thing is almost three hours? How do you stretch it out that long?

Just like Doge did: With nonsense.

So Linkara hired a bunch of guys to troll everyone into thinking the haunted house is haunted, but then it turned out it actually is haunted? A bit of an oversight for a comic-reviewing wizard with a spaceship.

[pibbs]

I assume that in the end cockslut saves the day and keep his title as saviour of the universe.

The all save the day together. By singing "Time Warp" from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. That's not a joke.

[pibbs]

Linky retweeted this:

A few things
$20 of $10,000 goal
Raised by 1 person in 11 months

To put it simply, I am stuck. I work full time, pay my taxes, and the like, and life keeps screwing me over. I have done everything I can, aside from getting myself in debt, and I need help.

The goal is a CRAZY number, and I can't think of anything I could ever need beyond that. This money is to pay for the following:

Fixing my car before it fully breaks down.
Getting books and a computer for college.
Paying my billth as life is hitting hard for those

Fuck this guy

[mad bum]

Update as of June 24th, 2019.

I haven't had need to shove this anymore then I have over the past year this has existed. But unfortunately, life has taken another turn, in which I have to spread this around again:

My car completely broke down, and I live pretty far from my job. With being unable to take out loans, rely on friends or family or any other outside help, I am staying at a hotel to be able to get to work, spending money I don't have to just keep my job while hoping I can afford the payment needed to fix my car on the 2nd of July.

Until then, I am putting myself in debt with a very big risk of being unable to pay rent next month, or even afford what it will be to fixthe car. If I can't fix it, I also lose my job.

Life really has decided to hit me with everything, and... I need help.
Help spread the word!

[Rushy]

Linkara also didn't get his magic hammer.

[pibbs]

He ACTUALLY believes his audio drama was better. He genuinely believes that. What a delusional bastard. I think he might actually be craxy., No grasp of reality.

Fuck what a long thread. Here's something that got my blood boiling.

HE FOOTED THE BILL, you retarded ungrateful, miserable bag of fuck! He wrote the script. He filmed and edited it. He flew all of you in, and gave you hotel rooms. Then he let you nobodies ride his coattails so you could piggyback some of them ebucks!

[pibbs]

A DVD? Of what?!