NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Whine and Bitch about people long after they become interesting to talk about
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Dingus Bajingus
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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by Dingus Bajingus » Sat Aug 01, 2020 9:37 pm

"I am now cutting my wrists, and this book is what is compelling me to do so."

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rabidtictac
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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by rabidtictac » Sat Aug 01, 2020 10:48 pm

Dingus Bajingus wrote:
Sat Aug 01, 2020 9:26 pm
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” said Cora, approaching her. “I’m so fucked.”
“I’m sorry about the accident that is my existence,” said Cora.
“Thanks,” she said. “This is what happens when you go through a middle school phase where you both have a massive crush on and also want to be Ani DiFranco.”
I don't necessarily mean to pile on here, but this is genuinely DeviantArt/Fanfiction.net-tier dialogue. I mean, it's dialogue, so I might forgive it as just characterization if not for the narration being exactly the same way. And I might even forgive that (since this character is the narrator, after all) if not for it being bog-standard and eye-rolling Current Year Interbutts snarkspeak.
The first rule of writing is to write shit that's easy to read. She violates that first rule with her valley girl shitlibbery. She's so desperate to virtue-signal that she piles words on top of words in the worst way. Especially egregious given her character's habit to just babble.

Not only is the narration awful, but it's out of character. Everyone sounds the same: like a valley girl who just enrolled at san franscisco state. Every character speaks with a single voice and the voice is nails-on-a-chalkboard levels of irritating. Military guys in their 50s sound like Lindsay (in her story). :roll: :roll: :roll:
RAPEMAN wrote:
Mon Aug 03, 2020 9:42 pm
>liberal: ban x
>trump: yeah ban x
>liberal: no bro x is awesome

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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by Guest » Sat Aug 01, 2020 11:30 pm

LOL at all the coping in this thread.

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Sieg Zeon
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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by Sieg Zeon » Sat Aug 01, 2020 11:36 pm

BenComicGraphics wrote:
Sat Aug 01, 2020 7:20 pm
Science Fiction is hard. Modern Sci Fi writers are writing magical/fantasy books but think it's science fiction.
This, I like the “true science” stuff where the authors at least did a lot of research and made their fiction seem viable. Sure a lot of dinosaur beliefs have been retconned since it’s release, but Michael Crichton did a hell of a job with Jurassic Park.
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Dingus Bajingus
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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by Dingus Bajingus » Sun Aug 02, 2020 12:16 am

rabidtictac wrote:
Sat Aug 01, 2020 10:48 pm
The first rule of writing is to write shit that's easy to read. She violates that first rule with her valley girl shitlibbery. She's so desperate to virtue-signal that she piles words on top of words in the worst way. Especially egregious given her character's habit to just babble.

Not only is the narration awful, but it's out of character. Everyone sounds the same: like a valley girl who just enrolled at san franscisco state. Every character speaks with a single voice and the voice is nails-on-a-chalkboard levels of irritating. Military guys in their 50s sound like Lindsay (in her story). :roll: :roll: :roll:
I don't know if I'd call it difficult to read; I'll defer to pibbs on that one, since he's actually reading the whole thing, but I can't say how genuinely hard it is to follow. It's just irritating to see the kind of oh-so-snarky shit that gets old in Twitter soundbites stretched out over a whole fucking third-person narration. And again, if that were just the characterization she was going for with Cora alone, fine. I may not cotton to that type of character, but that's a subjective opinion. However, as you point out, everyone seems to talk like that, implying that it isn't merely a character choice, but rather that Lindsay is largely (if not entirely) incapable of not writing that way.

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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by pibbs » Sun Aug 02, 2020 12:43 am

Sieg Zeon wrote:
Sat Aug 01, 2020 11:36 pm
... but Michael Crichton did a hell of a job with Jurassic Park.
He's one of my favorite authors, so I know a little about his backstory. I can tell you, all of his books are thoroughly researched, owing to that he was a medical doctor before becoming a writer.
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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by pibbs » Sun Aug 02, 2020 2:31 am

Axiom's End by HotDog Girl
Chapter 22: The Millennial Files.Get it? Millennials come after Gen X! AND the show "Millennium" was an X-Files spin-off. Doubly clever! Fuck you, guys.
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch

Having slept off the alcohol binge from writing the last chapter, Lindsay gets pretentious to start the new one.
Kaplan had a seriousness about him, an odd melange of nonchalance and intensity, and the situation in the outside world made it even more unsettling.
Kaplan (Agent Flannel) demands to speak to & about the power outage in Guam. Oh, and he's bringing a folder of abductees for & to comment on.
She crossed her arms, looking around the room nervously while he continued to play with his accordion folder like it might produce music, and the two just existed in the painful silence.
Ugh, this phrasing. But at least we learn Agent Flannel is a member of the tribe.
“So…,” she mumbled. “Sol…”
“That’s me,” he sighed, leaving the accordion folder on the table, stretching out, and crossing one of his long legs over the other.
“Is that short for something?” she asked. “Like Sol the sun-god, or Saul the … not-Paul-the-Apostle-yet?”
Kaplan entwined his fingers in front of him and placed them on his lap. “Solomon.”
Then a phrase Lindsay finds so clever she uses it twice, within a half page.
“Oh.”
Again, his eyes passed over her, this time his expression much cooler. “I guess you know your New Testament.”
“Huh?”
“Saul, who becomes Paul.” He looked almost as uncomfortable as she did.
“Oh.” She stole a glance at him. “I guess I got the Catholic on me.”
“So why’s he call it The Broken Seal?” asked Sol. “Is that, like, a Bible thing, too?”
“Huh?” Where the hell did that come from? “I don’t know; he’s got the Catholic on him, too.”
Two sentences later.
“No, I don’t. I got the Jewish on me.”
More drivel.
The door opened behind her before he could say anything else, and in came Ampersand, already inching toward his antagonistic posture, positively radioactive with the desire not to be in this room.
Guam was just the baddy &s trying to disable good guy &s. Why Guam when the retard herd was already relocated? Fuck you, that's why.. The explanation in its entirety:
“The same as it was in Mountain View—to disable me for recapture and to disable the two Similars so they cannot mount a defense.”
Cora repeated him, then added, “Guam was the site where the Fremda group originally surrendered, wasn’t it?”
“You think that’s why?”
“It is unlikely Obelus discovered this through human networks or that his algorithm has successfully decoded human languages yet.” She repeated him.
Now about those abductees...
He opened a couple of the files, which contained what looked like conspiracy theorist rap sheets. Photos, dates, names of witnesses, and artist’s depictions for each file, each with a code name—HISPANIOLA, Sloop John B, Pequod, Flying Dutchman—ships, she realized. They were all code-named after fictional ships. Some she didn’t recognize, such as Rachel, Covenant, Gloria Scott, Nellie, Surprise, the Ark. Others, like Wonkatania, Poseidon, Nautilus, and African Queen, were more familiar.
“Poseidon?” she laughed. “As in The Poseidon Adventure?”
“As I said, these date back to the seventies.”
“And the Black Pearl?”
“… And some are more recent.”
Stupid.
A few of the artist’s renderings looked familiar to Cora; the file labeled Flying Dutchman, a.k.a. “Grays,” contained an artist’s rendering of the stereotypical humanoid Roswell alien with big black eyes. The file Nautilus, a.k.a. “Reptilians,” contained a rendering of a half-lizard, half-man. To Cora, they all looked absurd, especially the Reptilians. She couldn’t believe they took Reptilians seriously enough to have a file on them.
But 12-foot tall, thousand pound, albino dragon-raptors, that's downright genius?

I paused for a few minutes after this next passage. No commentary... just read it for yourself.
“The ROSA code names, traditionally Esperanto words—Dr. Ghasabian told me yours is”—he cocked his head, stumbling over the word—“‘Scio’?”
“We should probably just call him ‘Ampersand,’” said Cora.
“He doesn’t like it?”
“He doesn’t care. He says names are ‘arbitrary.’ But ‘Ampersand’ is how everyone knows him now. And that new one’s kinda silly.”
Yeah, Sol, Scio is silly.
“Sillier than ‘Ampersand’?” Kaplan raised his eyebrows. “He cares about that?”
“No. I do.”
Back to the folder.
Most of these we can prove as hoaxes. For instance, we have no intel to indicate that the Queen of England is a reptile person who needs to consume human blood to maintain her human form.”
“He says he doesn’t understand the rationale that human blood is a unique or preferable form of sustenance but that we shouldn’t preclude the possibility.” Cora looked at Ampersand to make sure she got that right, half expecting him to issue a correction.
We go through the folder, and & picks one out using telekinesis. Just hand it to her, asshole. Stop showing off. Oh! Apparently, we have a full on raptor alien species with a tail and a mouth.
“That one,” said Kaplan, “was of particular interest to us. We have several matching descriptions of a similar-bodied creature over three decades. The description isn’t that dissimilar to an amygdaline, except for the tail and the”—he gestured to his mouth—“maw.”
A sister species. At this point, I've lost track of the types of aliens. Nonetheless, world-building is more interesting than something actually happening.
these creatures all had dark, segmented tails. Also, unlike amygdalines, these things had mouthparts, big ones, like a grasshopper...
Also, in one of the artist’s renderings, the subject appeared to be consuming a human. A cheap sci-fi rendition of Goya’s Saturn eating his son. It looked like parody. It had to be. Ah. Ampersand has discovered humor and is joking. That’s nice.
Wait, & made a joke? Where? I missed that. I had to come to a complete stop here, and retrace my steps. This narrative is so disjointed, I didn't realize the joke was a page back, three subjects ago. I even quoted it above. The thing about human blood not being a preferable form of sustenance. The joke part, “but we shouldn't preclude the possibility.”
I don't know. I've long gotten weary of this dreadful writing, and maybe it just didn't click with me when I read it the first time.
Fuck it. Back to world-building.
“The sister species to modern amygdalines,” said Cora. “Transients. They share ancestry with amygdalines. He says, ‘I was a political prisoner to a transient pod for several decades, after they took me from a group of Similars.’”
Again, that sounds much more interesting to read than this crap -.The Adventures of Ampersand Jones and the Mothership of Doom.

This new species is nomadic, and probably has visited Erf, often.
“‘Know that, unlike amygdalines, transients reproduce quickly, have a very high metabolism, and are very difficult to kill. Transients can tear through planetary resources. Transients consume.’”

Again another more interesting story that we could have had. “Erf vs. the Space Raptors.” You don't think she's setting up the third act with this, do you? Hmmmmm?
A door burst open at the back of the room, causing both Cora and Sol to gasp. Like locusts, men in green uniform began pouring in. Not soldiers but officers. Every single one.
And at the core of the group, right in the middle, was the secretary of defense.
End of Chapter
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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by Complicity » Sun Aug 02, 2020 2:43 am

Guest wrote:
Sat Aug 01, 2020 11:30 pm
LOL at all the coping in this thread.
Ask Lindsay to sell you her bath water.
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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by pibbs » Sun Aug 02, 2020 3:40 am

Axiom's End by HotDog Girl
Chapter 23: More Talking
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch


& is pissy to the military people.

End of Chapter

Oh, and guv'ment wants to learn &'s language. & says foolish mortal, you know not what you ask. Well, in Lindsay's dumb words anyway. And more lib shit how ebil US guv'ment is.
Shit like this.
“‘There is a native ethnic group in this country that predates the current dominant European ethnic group that endured many modifications at the hands of the more powerful Europeans. Some modifications to the natives were self-imposed, such as the adoption of horses and ammunition; others forced upon them, such as religion, language, and raiment. But the fact remains that there was a more powerful entity that imposed itself upon the less powerful entity through violent means, cultural imperialism, disease, and otherwise.
Superorganisms = European settlers
Hooomans = The Indians
Got it? Good.

End of Chapter
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Re: NCunt: Black Cocks Only

Post by pibbs » Sun Aug 02, 2020 5:33 am

Axiom's End by HotDog Girl
Chapter 24: Twilight. Oh, God no!
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch


Cora and & scoot on over to the autopsy room, where Cefo is still decomposing on the table. The sac-o-eggs have been removed however. Cora curls up into a fetal position inside of a metal cabinet. I'm not really sure where & went.
She has a flashback to mommy and daddeh fighting. She worries about her family. Aunty is arrested, and since everyone knows that the President knows about aliens, her family may not get immunity... because of reasons.

Then we go all Star Wars... literally.
She pulled her hands away from her ears just long enough to twist her hair into two identical ropes, which she wrapped around her ears like cinnamon rolls.
This wasn’t a closet; it was a holding cell, and she was a prisoner slated for termination. This wasn’t a condominium complex adjacent to Cornell University; it was the Death Star. She was Princess Leia, and she’d just survived torture by Darth Vader.
Read the rest of this shit hereShow
She’d just watched her planet be destroyed. She didn’t crack under torture. But she’d be terminated soon. It was okay, though. She did her duty. Leia stayed strong because she was.
Then the door slid open, and a short stormtrooper entered. He told her his name was Luke Skywalker and he was here to rescue her. She wasn’t alone anymore. Leia was up and ready at a moment’s notice. She even had to help them shoot their way out of this. That’s how strong she was. It didn’t matter how she’d suffered. She could survive anything.
Soon, they were off the Death Star. Soon, they were charging toward safety, readying a new battle plan. Because they were the Rebellion. Princess Leia was strong. Princess Leia had friends, yes, but she could also fight her way out of anything. Princess Leia was not alone.
Then we flashback to 12 year old Cora curled up in her closet crying. This is the Inception of closet bawling. More scattered Star Wars metaphors, mixed with teenage angst, and inner dialog.

& finds her and flings open the door.
“Are you nesting?” asked the voice in her ear.
“What?” she breathed, sniffing and trying to wipe away the effluvium flooding out of her face.
“Are you making a den?”
Ok, That was funny. Credit where credit is due.

He closes the door to leave her alone to introspect, reflect, and cry about daddeh. She hears & fiddling with plastic wrap like a cat. He flings open the door with three sleeping bags and asks if he can touch her. He removes her from the cabinet then places three sleeping bags with cushions in there, and picks her up and settles her down. Aww haw haw! He made her a more comfy nest.
LOL. It's funny, it's cute, and maybe the most original thing Lindsay has done to this point. I think maybe someone else wrote this part.

Then she starts to whine to what I imagine is a mortified & about how helpless she feels. Surprisingly she worries about her family again.
But & comforts her.
“Your government will not alter them, mentally or otherwise. They are in no immediate danger. Does this comfort you?”
& offers to feed her. She ain't hungry. Ok my suspension of disbelief just broke and fell into the River Bullshit.
If you are not hungry and you are not in pain, perhaps you are in need of emotional comfort. But for that, I need instruction.”
Dude, this is a woman. You ain't going to get a straight answer to that. They want you to kiss their ass, pamper them, and stress yourself to figure out what they want. IF they even know what the fuck they want!
She reached for the long fingers folded in front of him, before she stopped and asked, “Do you consent?”
“Yes.”
Uhhhh...
Her fingers shook a little as she touched his hand where the fingers met, the “palm,” and she tried to imagine how to retrofit those digits for a task designed for human hands.
Uhhhhh...
She leaned forward and slid the front four digits of his left hand behind her back. She tried to do the same with his right but stopped when they naturally fell on her head. She flinched, an instinctive contraction at the touch of such a foreign thing, then relaxed. “General rule of thumb for comforting but not-too-intimate touching—hand-holding is good, back is okay—above the hips, that is. Try rhythmic motions against the skin. Head is good, though face is a little weird. Not too hard or it hurts; not too soft or it tickles.”
“Rhythmic motions against the skin,” he repeated.
….nnnnnnnoooo....
She felt his fingers graze the skin behind her ear, and it was a little breathtaking. The grazing became short and pulsing, like he was scratching an itch, and she couldn’t help but smile.
“Longer strokes and longer intervals is good,” she said. “Like, maybe ten inches of skin every five seconds.
….NNNNOOOOOO....
running two digits from the top of her scalp to just below her ear, uncanny, mechanical—the exact same amount of time over the exact same skin, over and over.
Almost of its own volition, she saw her right hand lifting from her lap toward his “face,” toward that space between his eyes where a nose should be. She only just managed to reclaim autonomy over her arm and stop it...
His skin had the same cat’s tongue texture that the Genome’s skin had, albeit much softer and barely perceptible....
...he wasn’t unfathomable at all. They were both made of the same star stuff...
Not wanting to overstay her welcome, she removed her hand. “Thank you,” she whispered.
…....
…...
Nope.
…..

If this turns into space furry porn, I'm not finishing this shit. I'm telling you right now.
“Cutting and compelling!” - John Svalzi
I would prefer you stay on as my interpreter... But you are not my slave. The decision is yours.”
She nodded eagerly. “I’ll stay with you.”
“You have been a valuable asset,” he said. “I shall endeavor to be a better caretaker until we part ways.”
Until we part ways. With those four words alone, the emptiness came back, and again she ached.
Have feminists created such a dilemma for themselves, that they can't admit they have this romantic neediness for men? That (in their minds) it will make them look weak, so they have to fantasy fuck the undead, furry beasts, sea creatures and now space raptors? Maybe Lindsay is trolling everyone? I could respect that. That's Super-Saiyan trolling, right there.. But no. She hasn't demonstrated any of the cleverness needed. She's getting off on this. Everything is so fucked up.

Dubya bush resigns. Cheney takes over. Lib screeching for next chapter intesifying!

End of a fucked up chapter, though I fear the worst is yet to come.
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