April Von Lon - Orc, Honey Wine Brewer, Professional Skyrim Player, BDSM Writer & Domina to Spoony

Whine and Bitch about people long after they become interesting to talk about
User avatar
Kugelfisch
Supreme Gentleman
Posts: 20901
Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2017 1:36 pm

Re: April Von Lon - Orc, Honey Wine Brewer, Professional Skyrim Player, BDSM Writer & Domina to Spoony

Post by Kugelfisch » Fri Sep 06, 2019 2:44 pm

I'm not so sure with the fans of INs.
Guest wrote:
Sun Aug 25, 2019 3:42 pm
Lupa is the only libtard who didn't threaten to move to Cucknadia.

User avatar
RedLine
Posts: 452
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2018 3:47 am

Re: April Von Lon - Orc, Honey Wine Brewer, Professional Skyrim Player, BDSM Writer & Domina to Spoony

Post by RedLine » Sun Sep 08, 2019 4:17 am

I'm not especially familiar with Illinois law but I'm wondering if Spoony dies would April be able to claim control of the house and that's the only reason she is "staying" with him?
However they have been able to do it the mortgage and taxes are current on the property and Spoony put in a decent down payment when he bought it. So even though I doubt April's shirt-folding jobs would cover the future mortgage/taxes the house is almost definitely worth more than what is owed. So she still could sell it and pocket a decent amount.

User avatar
VoiceOfReasonPast
Supreme Shitposter
Posts: 16878
Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2017 3:33 pm

Re: April Von Lon - Orc, Honey Wine Brewer, Professional Skyrim Player, BDSM Writer & Domina to Spoony

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:31 am

I don't think either of the two thinks that far ahead into the future. She has a nice, comfy house right now, and that might just be all that matters.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

Cucked in the name of Soy, Ye not complicit.

User avatar
Osterzone
Posts: 1560
Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2017 3:24 pm

Re: April Von Lon - Orc, Honey Wine Brewer, Professional Skyrim Player, BDSM Writer & Domina to Spoony

Post by Osterzone » Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:42 am

I remember a few years ago she shouted on facebook how she hated the rumors about Noah using patreon money to buy his house. She said he bought it with his retirement fund, but that had to be a lie Noah told her. Dude's been self employed for most of his life so where would this money from the "retirement fund" come from? And where did the patreon money go, if not on the mortgage? He sure as fuck wasn't spending it on producing Spoony videos.

Vaporwear
Posts: 668
Joined: Thu Apr 13, 2017 2:48 am

Re: April Von Lon - Orc, Honey Wine Brewer, Professional Skyrim Player, BDSM Writer & Domina to Spoony

Post by Vaporwear » Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:57 am

Keith Chegwin wrote:
Fri Sep 06, 2019 8:33 am
Why would he kick her out?
See, the thing is, she doesn't contribute almost nothing. From what we've seen, she at least makes sure the dog gets walked and the house is relatively tidy, and that pocket change is probably at least enough to keep them fed. Spoony would be absolutely fucking retarded to kick her out. If he kicked her out he'd probably end up dead within a month
Which is pretty pathetic, and is also probably how April justifies it to herself, that she deserves to live there because she keeps things clean[citation needed], takes care of the dog[citation needed] and helps keep her loser "boyfriend" from dying from his sheer inability to take care of himself. But that's some bare minimum bullshit and she knows it, any halfway decent man would've kicked her out for being useless at everything except as a thing to fuck, which any halfway decent man would make her do on a nightly basis until finally tossing her useless ass out the door.

Vaporwear
Posts: 668
Joined: Thu Apr 13, 2017 2:48 am

Re: April Von Lon - Orc, Honey Wine Brewer, Professional Skyrim Player, BDSM Writer & Domina to Spoony

Post by Vaporwear » Sun Sep 08, 2019 8:21 am

RedLine wrote:
Sun Sep 08, 2019 4:17 am
I'm not especially familiar with Illinois law but I'm wondering if Spoony dies would April be able to claim control of the house and that's the only reason she is "staying" with him?
No way, she's clearly not some master planner biding her time before the house WILL FINALLY BE HERS AND ALSO THE DOG TOO HAHAHAHA. Considering her original master plan was to hitch herself to any Channel Awesome dude that she could dig her rapey orc claws into at some convention (man did she pick poorly), it's clear she pretty much figured that Spoony would take care of her for life, even if they aren't remotely romantically involved anymore and he sure as hell doesn't get any pussy from her.

She clearly never considered the possibility that her love eternal would turn out to be a useless loser who's an even bigger failure at life than she is. So she's stuck there, unwilling to look for anything better because it's a house and she's grown comfortable living there but also probably worrying about the day she'll be forced to leave when the house gets foreclosed on. Essentially Spoony ruined her "And they all lived happily ever after" fairy tale fantasy but hey she still gets to live in a house and play Skyrim, so that's close enough for her.

I can imagine her overriding fear is having to move out and live with her parents again, cause that's when her bubble will finally burst and she'll have to face the reality of her failed existence: that she's a loser who accomplished nothing in her 5 or 6 years of living with the person once known as the Spoonyone except get fat and "work" as an unpaid maid.

User avatar
pibbs
Posts: 4069
Joined: Tue May 30, 2017 11:21 pm

Re: April Von Lon - Orc, Honey Wine Brewer, Professional Skyrim Player, BDSM Writer & Domina to Spoony

Post by pibbs » Sun Sep 08, 2019 8:27 am

Vaporwear wrote:
Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:57 am
because she keeps things clean[citation needed]
Some of her tweets show the inside of the house. It looks tidy
takes care of the dog[citation needed]
There's some photographic evidence she took the dog to the park. Also we can safely assune Noah doesn't and since Oreo is still alive, someone is feeding her.
Image

Vaporwear
Posts: 668
Joined: Thu Apr 13, 2017 2:48 am

Re: April Von Lon - Orc, Honey Wine Brewer, Professional Skyrim Player, BDSM Writer & Domina to Spoony

Post by Vaporwear » Sun Sep 08, 2019 9:00 am

pibbs wrote:
Sun Sep 08, 2019 8:27 am
Vaporwear wrote:
Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:57 am
because she keeps things clean[citation needed]
Some of her tweets show the inside of the house. It looks tidy
takes care of the dog[citation needed]
There's some photographic evidence she took the dog to the park. Also we can safely assune Noah doesn't and since Oreo is still alive, someone is feeding her.
Well fuck fine, but that's still some minimum effort bullshit, especially because Noah Antwhiler stays in his nasty room all day and none of the other rooms get used anyway.

Yeah, she walks the dog, probably because she finds Oreo to be a better companion than Noah and even she knows that staying at home all day will drive you fucking crazy.

Honestly it's clear all she ever wanted to be was a homemaker. Work a part-time low effort job mostly to socialize, clean up the house, walk the dog, give the man of the house an obligatory blowjob after a hard day of editing videos, play Skyrim, that was her goal in life. Which isn't a bad thing, but her major mistake was choosing Noah Antwhiler, who I don't think is anything remotely like a man at all.

User avatar
Keith Chegwin
Supreme Shitposter
Posts: 7652
Joined: Wed Apr 05, 2017 9:42 am

Re: April Von Lon - Orc, Honey Wine Brewer, Professional Skyrim Player, BDSM Writer & Domina to Spoony

Post by Keith Chegwin » Sun Sep 08, 2019 10:29 am

Osterzone wrote:
Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:42 am
I remember a few years ago she shouted on facebook how she hated the rumors about Noah using patreon money to buy his house. She said he bought it with his retirement fund, but that had to be a lie Noah told her.
Yeah, I remember that and I remember thinking 'what retirement fund? Retirement from what?'
VoiceOfReasonPast wrote:
Sat Jan 06, 2018 8:31 am
Doki doki is what you get in your kokoro when everything goes according to keikaku and senpai finally notices you.

User avatar
pibbs
Posts: 4069
Joined: Tue May 30, 2017 11:21 pm

Re: April Von Lon - Orc, Honey Wine Brewer, Professional Skyrim Player, BDSM Writer & Domina to Spoony

Post by pibbs » Sun Sep 08, 2019 11:12 am

Well let's unpack this. At the height of his popularity:
* Ad money from his then popular videos
* $5k a month Paymetron (at it's peak)
* Lived with brother
* Probably didn't pay rent
* Certainly from the wreck video wasn't buying fancy cars
* Fan donated his Adobe Master Suite
* No expensive gear really
* Possibly had a trust fund, or other money from parents when he came of age
* House cost $250k, 20% down would be 50k

Saving up for 5 years he easily could have done 50k if not more. Easily.
Image

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot] and 4 guests