DSP Thread: Bugged Forum mechanics

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Angelfire Memes
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Re: DSP Thread: Bugged Forum mechanics

Post by Angelfire Memes » Thu Feb 22, 2018 4:48 pm

I don't hate DSP. In fact I quite enjoy talking about him, and I think his inevitable death spiral will be one of the wildest rides in lolcow history, because there's no way he goes down with dignity. However I do understand the people that do hate him. When I watch him speak there are moments where he legit triggers me, just for a nanosecond on a primal level, where I just want to punch him. But then I remember it's DSP, and I just observe the bizarre behaviour of his battered wife paypigs who sit there and take it.

A recent example of this I saw in Tevin's latest video. DSP is bitching about how the maid can't get a driver's licence, so she can't start her "job" that she's "transferred" for a couple of months, because she needs to get a licence, get insured, and take a couple of weeks to learn the roads which made me kek. Some guy sends a cheer saying "I just moved state and I could drive on my old licence for a little while, this doesn't make sense". DSP immediately says, in the smuggest, most DSP voice ever, "WRONG". He then proceeds to say this guy, who sent him money to offer helpful advice based on his own experience, doesn't know what he's talking about and has no place contradicting him on stream, while admitting you can drive on your old licence for 30 days - so the guy was right, DSP admitted he was right, but still shit all over him for no reason at all.

It's natural in moments like that to feel a momentary spike of hatred for the cunt, but tictac nailed it when he said that kind of shit is why DSP has no friends or family, and it's all his own doing. He has a girlfriend now, but she's an obvious rebound from the first relationship he ever had, who ran out on him in the middle of the night because he was an abusive fuck. That in itself is a time bomb waiting to go off - it could take years, but it will. There's a reason DSP has to numb the pain every night with booze. Imagine never learning anything. Imagine still seeing the world the same way you did when you were 13. Imagine thinking cooking a meal qualifies as hard work. Imagine chasing away every person who ever cared about you and not understanding why. Imagine being such an emotionally stunted manchild you make Spoony look like the Dalai Lama. Karma is slowly but surely collecting on gout boi, and that's the real joy of DSP.

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Kugelfisch
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Re: DSP Thread: Bugged Forum mechanics

Post by Kugelfisch » Thu Feb 22, 2018 4:55 pm

I get those spikes of actual hate as well. Super forced laugh and clapping like a total dipshit in mockery of somebody beating his ass in fightan are the worst offenders for that. I can't watch Snort Burnell's intro for example. Phil is at peak obnoxiousness in those moments.
He'd get legit beatings so bad if he ever dared to go to an actual tournament for that behaviour and he knows it.
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Re: DSP Thread: Bugged Forum mechanics

Post by rabidtictac » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:03 pm

That's why he acts all quiet and shit in the videos where you see him playing live against other people. They meme on him and mock him and he takes it like a bitch because he knows trying to act up in real life will just get his ass beat.

He complains about how the "detractors are all cowards hiding behind their computers dood" but that description fits him perfectly. He can't even talk shit about another person unless he mutes/bans them first. His ego can't handle allowing them to banter back at him.

That situation legit reminds me of a family member I know who almost certainly has NPD. They'll say the most vicious shit behind your back or if they think you're a pussy who won't do shit. But if you have a history of blowing up/confronting people when they fuck with you, they won't say shit about you to your face. Because they're fucking cowards. I almost lost my shit last time I was at a family gathering, because the shitbird narcissist was backbiting their supposed former best friend this way. It had nothing to do with me, but it was still infuriating to hear. And the narcissist only felt comfortable to say what they said because they were surrounded by friends and family who knew almost nothing about the best friend.

I guess that's the only time DSP makes me angry. When he reminds me of other NPD sufferers being toxic.

https://www.google.com/search?q=narciss ... irefox-b-1

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Angelfire Memes
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Re: DSP Thread: Bugged Forum mechanics

Post by Angelfire Memes » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:39 pm

I remember reading that story about Viscant wanting to fight DSP that resurfaced recently. I'm sure most will have read it before but it's pretty funy and a reminder of just why DSP doesn't go to these fightan tourneys anymore. He'd end up getting his shit pushed in virtually and IRL. :lol:
Viscant wrote:I'm trying to remember how the whole thing started and I can't. This would have been either Evo 2005 or 2006 because I was working out at some hole in the wall Mexican boxing gym at the time and I quit that place in July 06 when I moved away.

I know a money match was involved and I know Phil had been talking trash for weeks/months before I finally got sick of it. I'm PRETTY SURE /u/favorite55 is right that I challenged him to a money match and knew he wasn't going to accept and was going to be like "lol fite me irl at evo" and I accepted. I can't remember what the game was because even though I was thoroughly washed up at MvC2, he had literally zero shot at me in that game. Mixup 10-0'd him at ECC and he wouldn't have done any better on me. CvS2/3s he stood about the same chance as Marvel. If it was ST I don't know why he would decline because even though I was good at that game, that's the only game he was relevant at on a national level so there's no reason for him to decline. Anyways, that part's not important. It started over a money match challenge that I and everyone else knew he was going to bail on.

From here it turns into what sounds like a total farce except I can assure you that it was 100% serious which makes us both look like total, complete fucking idiots.

So first Phil was like "OK well you have to sign some document because if I kill you I don't want to be responsible" and I was like whatever. Then there was an actual serious negotiation over who the ref was going to be and I THINK we settled on Walter from CT but I don't remember this part either. Then there was an honest to god negotiation over weight and that we were going to have to weigh in and everything. Again, I'm not making any of this up, as dumb as this sounds, this absolutely happened. Finally it was agreed that he wouldn't have to go on a diet to fight me and it was settled that we were going to fight, it was going to have MMA rules, it would have a referee and we'd sign waivers. God I was dumb in the mid-00s.

Anyways, so we agreed upon this early in the year and from here on is where the story gets weird (lol "gets" weird). So apparently Phil was under the impression that this wasn't going to happen and that it was just internet shit talk but a few people from the west coast went out to one of the east coast tournaments and told him that

a) I was taking this seriously and was going to fight him

b) Had probably been in more gym fights in the past 2 months than he'd been in in his life.

So one day Phil IMs me on AIM and tries to back out. He was like "hey so how about this. How about we PRETEND like we're going to fight and then when a whole crowd is around us we both do DX crotch chops to the crowd!!! It'll be such a goof!" This really happened.

And I'm just like "...are you fucking kidding me?" I honestly couldn't believe he was pulling this and I was still mad about the whole thing and actually wanted to fight him.

I told him wasn't going to do any of that "trolling" but if you want to drop it, then fine I'll drop it, we can be adults about this. And that's pretty much what happened, I'm not going to jump him from behind in the parking lot or get in his face and threaten him.

From that point on there never really was any problem between him and I. In fact the next year when Evo West was in San Diego I let him stay at my place that year and when Mike Watson and Jaha were about to kill him in a parking garage I stepped between them and defused that situation. He later WOULD go on to have more serious problems with Watson and Jaha but I made sure it wasn't going to happen when he was staying with me. I generally don't hold grudges so even though I remember being really pissed off at the time, by the time the parking garage thing happened a year later I was over it.

So yeah, it's a really dumb story and makes me look just as bad as him (well I never proposed doing fucking DX crotch chops in front of a crowd of people but I was dumb too) but that's what happened.

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Kama
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Re: DSP Thread: Bugged Forum mechanics

Post by Kama » Thu Feb 22, 2018 7:16 pm

Not to sound horrible or anything, but with the way he always talks about how he can beat everyone's asses and all that other shit talking he does I'd love to actually see him in a boxing match. It'd be one of the funniest things I'd ever see watching him get OHKOed by someone who can actually throw a punch. I'm pretty sure after that humiliating display he'd never talk shit like that again.

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Le Redditeur
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Re: DSP Thread: Bugged Forum mechanics

Post by Le Redditeur » Thu Feb 22, 2018 8:50 pm

Kugelfisch wrote:
Thu Feb 22, 2018 4:55 pm
I get those spikes of actual hate as well. Super forced laugh and clapping like a total dipshit in mockery of somebody beating his ass in fightan are the worst offenders for that. I can't watch Snort Burnell's intro for example. Phil is at peak obnoxiousness in those moments.
He'd get legit beatings so bad if he ever dared to go to an actual tournament for that behaviour and he knows it.
For me is every time this gout-infested pig talks about "working hard" - comparing sitting on ass all day to hard work, comparing doing domestic chores to hard work, comparing cooking a quick meal to hard work...

Personally, that pisses me off. Because work 40+ hours a week coding an e-commerce platform (which means that any mistake will cost the company some money, sometimes even A LOT of money, and you don't want to be the person responsible for that; it's highly stressful, in addition to mentally hard and tiresome). Because my younger brothers work 44+ hours a week, in jobs even less gratifying than mine. Because one of my brothers developed a serious case of tendinitis by working as an automotive mechanic at age 23, because the company he worked for didn't provide the proper tools for him to work.

Pigroach never worked hard a single day in his stuffy, privileged life, at least not since he got fired from the only real job he ever had and became Bozo the Clown playing vydiagaems. The fact that he poses as a guy "busting his ass" is the only thing that triggers me to the point of wanting to punch his gouty face.

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VoiceOfReasonPast
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Re: DSP Thread: Bugged Forum mechanics

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:38 pm

Not only does he complain about the most mundane shit, but he likes to paint it as some kind of Herculean task. What a lovely individual.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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Kama
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Re: DSP Thread: Bugged Forum mechanics

Post by Kama » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:49 pm

rabidtictac wrote:
Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:03 pm
That's why he acts all quiet and shit in the videos where you see him playing live against other people. They meme on him and mock him and he takes it like a bitch because he knows trying to act up in real life will just get his ass beat.

He complains about how the "detractors are all cowards hiding behind their computers dood" but that description fits him perfectly. He can't even talk shit about another person unless he mutes/bans them first. His ego can't handle allowing them to banter back at him.

That situation legit reminds me of a family member I know who almost certainly has NPD. They'll say the most vicious shit behind your back or if they think you're a pussy who won't do shit. But if you have a history of blowing up/confronting people when they fuck with you, they won't say shit about you to your face. Because they're fucking cowards. I almost lost my shit last time I was at a family gathering, because the shitbird narcissist was backbiting their supposed former best friend this way. It had nothing to do with me, but it was still infuriating to hear. And the narcissist only felt comfortable to say what they said because they were surrounded by friends and family who knew almost nothing about the best friend.

I guess that's the only time DSP makes me angry. When he reminds me of other NPD sufferers being toxic.

https://www.google.com/search?q=narciss ... irefox-b-1

There's a reason narcissists are cowards who can't handle confrontation. Their house of cards collapses when they allow others to confront them directly.
Him being a coward also explains why he keeps so many mini axes around the house too. Because deep down he knows that one day he's going to piss off the wrong person

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Re: DSP Thread: Bugged Forum mechanics

Post by Guest » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:35 pm

Phil Burnell was a spoiled sheltered rich kid when he was growing up in Connecticut. Looking at those ancient pictures of him at the arcade you just know he whined and moaned to his parents that he really needed that leather jacket. You can also tell that this douchebag has never been in a fight in his life.

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Re: DSP Thread: Bugged Forum mechanics

Post by Guest » Fri Feb 23, 2018 12:58 am

I really despise and hate him so the following is really not a joke: I'd rather eat DSP cooking than whatever the DSP of cooking, Jack Scalfani, will ever cook.
No seriously look Jack's videos because DSP looks like a chef compared to that asshole

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